The Reluctant Reunion

[GraySkies]

 

   

This is my little attempt at trying to have fun with writing again. It used to a hobby of mine that I adored, but it's been years since I've really put any effort into it. I figured I'd write for myself with a specific topic that, uh, intrigues me.  The goal is to not spend too much time trying to perfect everything and just let myself enjoy the process. Hopefully it helps me get back into the practice of regular writing. While I was at it, I figured I could also leave it here, in case anyone may also gain a bit of enjoyment from it. Please excuse any formatting errors. I honestly don't know what I'm doing lol. And also, while on the topic, please excuse any other egregious errors that I'm sure are to be present. The one time I posted a story on this forum, I had used one name for a character, then forgot I'd been using that name, and used an entirely different one for the rest of the story and I couldn't edit it 🙃  Warning for a bit of mess, though I tried not to get too descriptive with it. Anyway, here is the beginning of something that I hope will be, at least, a few more parts long.

 

Felix stands with the paperback book open, both hands fiercely grasping the front and back cover, his gaze eyelids shuttering open and closed again and again. He feels his mouth involuntarily part as small gasps come out in a rhythmic pattern. He is not pleased by the highly audible quality the gasps had to them — subtle, they are not. He scrunches up his nose, but all this seems to do is send the army of ants he would swear had invaded his nostrils, deeper into his nasal passages. 

“HEH  —” his breath hitches once again. 

Felix concentrates on doing his best to take small breaths, intending for the breaths to go along on a smooth, uneventful trip through his sinuses. He has, after all, been breathing for thirty-two years, at this point. It shouldn’t be a hard concept for his body to grasp.

“HEH’ittccCHOOO!” 

Felix winces and he feels his cheeks burn. He stares at the open book that appears slightly different than it had just moments before — now with visible droplets coating the pages. He closes the book and sheepishly puts it back in its rightful place. He spares a moment trying to recall exactly how long cold viruses could live on paper surfaces. He hoped it wasn’t too long and that nobody else with a proclivity toward non-fiction books about crocodiles would find themselves opening the book up to the same page any time soon.

He was honestly fine an hour ago. “Fine” possibly wasn’t the best adjective to describe his state, he could amend, but he definitely hadn’t been sneezing. If he’d been sneezing, he’d never have left his house. It’d just been a slight runny nose, which wasn’t at all unusual for him during a morning in winter. In fact, he’d still be clinging on with desperation that he was, indeed, perfectly healthy, if it wasn’t for his throat. What had begun as a slight scratchy sensation upon waking up, has turned into what could only be described as painful. It becomes more clear by each second to Felix, especially as he sniffles back an alarming amount of liquid, that he is not well enough to be out in public.

“HEH’CHOOO!” 

Felix, once again, found himself wincing. He looked at his arm, which, thankfully had caught most of the spray, but he knew a fair bit had to be circulating throughout the air, as well. He determines not only is he coming down with a cold, he is coming down with a bad cold. A bad cold that provokes sudden, unstoppable sneezes, which happen to be Felix’s very least favorite types of colds. It’s not that he enjoys colds, by any means, but there is definitely a difference between spending a few days blowing his nose while watching movies on the couch, and whatever he now feels himself coming down with. Felix can’t remember the last time he’d failed to stifle a sneeze. 

As a rule, when in public, Felix never lets a sneeze go freely, unless he has a tissue available. As a high school Biology teacher, he has a general knowledge of the ease at which viruses could spread, and he has no interest in sending his gross droplets of viral doom out into the world to possibly infect others. So, typically, he holds back his sneezes as best as he can, letting out only a loud “H’gnxt,” sound  that inevitably provokes such questions as “What the fuck was that noise you just made?” or “Was that a sneeze? Or a hiccup??”  or “Did you know you can bust your eardrums that way?” Regardless of how undignified his stifles make him feel, he feels much less dignified when he fully gives into their force. The attention makes his skin crawl and he much prefers the reactions to his stifles than the reactions of his full-blown sneezes.  It’s never been difficult for him to hold back— he doesn’t even have to pinch his nose. It’s always just a quick bob of his head, and then he moves along with his life. 

Except now.

“Heeeehhhh — HEHH —Hehh Ngk’CHOO!” 

It’s becoming increasingly clear to Felix that he has to go. He needs to leave the bookstore he’d never had any business walking into, and he needs to do it quickly. While that one had been caught in his elbow, it was exceptionally productive, and the sight of his flannel sleeve makes him nearly gag. He knows the best course of action is to go home, lie down, and desperately clutch his tissue box, feeling sorry for himself, as he waits for the virus to leave his system. 

It’s an especially busy day at the bookstore, which is unfortunate for him. His sniffles  —  which, at that moment, have become a nearly constant addition to his existence  — have a deep, harsh quality to them. He knows the sound can not be mistaken as anything other than the sound of someone absolutely riddled with a cold. He recognizes the way his nose is incessantly running as a truly bad sign, as, again, he’d been effectively fine just an hour ago. He frowns as he considers the quick onset of his symptoms. He, once again, scrunches up his nose, hoping to send the oncoming tickle away so he can exit the bookstore without making any more of a spectacle of himself.

“Heh-HUH-KNNG’CHHOO!”  Felix sniffles after this unexpectedly congested and violent sneeze. Four sneezes within a few minutes is also not a good sign. 

“Bless you!” exclaims a woman shopping nearby. Through his sneezy haze, he hadn’t realized anyone was near him.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” he mutters, sniffling, since apparently even a slight amount of dignity was not in the cards for him that day. 

 “You sound like you’ve got that nasty cold going around. I’ve just gotten over it, myself. I thought I’d never stop sneezing. Nearly everyone I know came down with it.”

Felix gazes at her through watery eyes, intending to mutter something noncommittal and then move on and finally leave the store. 

Instead what comes out is “Ecknngg’tCHOO!” which he barely manages to cover with his hands. He sniffles. And sniffles again. And sniffles yet again.

The woman smiles sympathetically at him. “Yep, that was me just a few days ago. You should be in bed praying for the sweet release of death. What’s so important that it’s got out here while so sick?” She pauses, brows furrowed. “Oh! Are you here for the signing, too?”

Now it’s Felix’s turn to furrow his brows. “Signing?” he asks, hating the way his congestion seems to have impeded his ability to pronounce his ‘n’s. 

“Oh, yeah, there’s a book signing today that’s supposed to happen in, like, 10 minutes or something. By that sci-fi author. What’s his name? Connor…. Connor something. Connor Hamilton? Connor Haven…. That’s not right. It’s on the tip of my tongue. I hate it when that happens. I’m so close to figuring it out. It’s definitely Connor something. But haven’t you seen the signs everywhere? That’s why it’s so busy in here.”
 

Felix listens as the friendly woman’s voice continues on, but his mind gets caught up in the beginning of her ramblings when she mentions the name “Connor” in the same sentence as “sci-fi author.”

“Um,” he starts, and pauses to sniffle and swipes his nose across his sleeve. “Is it… Is it Connor Hayes?” he asks, hesitantly, bracing himself for the response he knows is to come.

“Oh my god, thank you! Yes! Connor Hayes. My girlfriend’s read a few of his books and loves them. She was actually the one who wanted to come, but she’s currently laid up with what I’d bet money on is the same cold you have right now. I promised I’d get one of his books signed for her. She’d tried coming herself, but I told her he probably wouldn’t be too thrilled to get sneezed all over - fan, or not.”

It’s at this point, Felix notices the hardcover book she has tucked into her arm. The picture of the aforementioned Connor Hayes smiling up at him from the back cover. He closes his eyes and takes what’s intended to be a deep, calming breath. He should have known better. 

“‘N’gnnkkkchoo! G’nnKCHOO!” 

Both sneezes are released aggressively into his hands, which are currently formed into a tent around his nose and mouth — a gesture he has no plans of letting go of any time soon. He meets the woman’s gaze, hoping to convey the message of please, if you have any human decency at all, go far away and never think about this moment again. 

His telepathy skills, however, are clearly on the fritz because this is not what she does. “Oh my goodness! Hold on, I’ve got you covered. Just wait a second,” she says as she frantically digs through her purse. She finally digs out a wad of tissues. A literal wad. 

Felix, hands still cupped over his nose and mouth, skeptically looks at this stranger as she holds out crumpled tissues for him to apparently use. 

“Oh! They’re clean, I promise. I’d just gotten in the habit last week of grabbing tissues from the box and stuffing them in my purse before I left the house. Seriously, they’re clean.”

Felix notices the way she’s eying the tissues carefully, as though she’s not actually as sure as she’s claiming she is. Felix is concerned for all of three seconds before his breath starts hitching in a wildly embarrassing way. He immediately reaches out one hand toward the tissue wad of dubious cleanliness, and all but shoves them into his face as he violently gives into the tickle that had been pestering him.

“HAHHH-MMptCHOOO!” It scrapes through his throat, and he has no choice but to blow his nose, which is something he can’t remember ever doing in public before. He and the woman both grimace at the sound.

“Uh, Jesus, sorry about that. And, um, thanks for the tissues,” he says, sending a soft smile to the woman.

“Oh my god, don’t worry about it. Like I said, I’ve been there. It’s a nasty cold, for sure. What you need to do is rest a ton and drink a lot of water.” She pauses looking over Felix’s shoulder. “Holy shit…. That’s him, I think. Connor Hanes! He’s coming toward us. Why would he be coming toward us? Kate would freak out if she were here right now.”

“Hayes, not Hanes,” Felix corrects, absentmindedly, as he debates his next course of action.

He could just walk away without turning around and pretend he had no clue about the signing, or about the fact that Connor was apparently walking his way. He could turn around and smile at Connor and project to him the impression that he is doing quite well and hasn’t, in fact, spent the last year grieving the loss of what he’d thought was the great love of his life. He could take the passive aggressive route and say “Oh, Connor! I’m so surprised to see you back in my shitty town with its shitty people. From what I recall, in fairly vivid detail, I might add, you said there was absolutely nothing here worth staying for.” Or he could simply say “Hey, I’ve gotta be on my way. Enjoy your signing!” There’s many things he could do. But he does none of these things.

What he does do is sneeze.  

“G’nnnxkkkk’tcCHOO!” The stifle fails in a dramatic way that causes the stranger to avert her gaze away from Connor and instead land on Felix, who once again is hiding his streaming face with his hands. 

While she rummages through her purse, most likely looking for more tissues, Felix has no choice but to look up at him. Thankfully a bookstore employee stops Connor in his tracks, appearing to ask him a question. 

 “Hey, listen, uh….” Felix starts, looking at the woman, then frowns. “Sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Annie! It’s Annie. Sorry, I’m trying to find more tissues, but I think I’m out. You can probably go up to the checkout and see if they have any. Or, I don’t know, just go into the bathroom.”

Felix shakes his head vigorously, knowing there’s no way this woman (Annie, he reminds himself) can possibly understand the severity of the situation he’s in. But he knows there’s no possibility of going anywhere in that direction because that’s where Connor is. There’s no way he’s walking past Connor. So, he instead walks straight past Annie to ensure he goes in the opposite direction of Connor. Felix has been accused in the past of having questionable decision-making skills. He spares a moment to reflect on how this current decision is a good example of why all those accusations were correct. Because now he’s completely away from any kind of exit that would allow him to actually get away from this nightmare of a situation.

But he continues walking, sighing as he resigns himself to wiping his nose with his sleeve. 

“So, what’s up exactly? Are you hiding from him?”

Felix’s heart stops in his chest before he realizes the voice is coming from Annie. He hadn’t realized she’d followed him. 

He sniffles and says “No. I mean… No. Hiding from who? Why would I hide from anyone?”

Annie smiles. “Sorry. It’s just that I noticed you were staring at that author. Connor Hanes. And then you just bolted.”

“Hayes. It’s Connor Hayes,” he corrects, automatically, but instantly regrets it.

She stares at him. “Right,” she says, elongating the vowel sound. “See, it’s kind of strange that you are familiar with his name, yet you were shocked when I mentioned he was doing a book signing here. I mean, if you know about him, shouldn’t you be excited to see him? Or, I don’t know, indifferent, at the very least? But you’re running away from him.”

Felix just stares at her  — at this woman who he’s known for all of 10 minutes. It’s not that Felix hates talking to people. This woman certainly seems nice. But he has a natural disdain for these types of situations where he’s expected to share information about himself to people he hardly knows. His plan that morning had entailed shopping for books and possibly grabbing a coffee from the connected coffee shop. But, now, he finds himself running away from someone he hasn’t seen in a year while his nose does an impression of a faucet. All while this stranger looks at him, expectantly. He opens his mouth to explain that its personal information he doesn’t feel up to sharing. 

“We, uh, we used to date,” Felix finds himself saying, instead. 

Annie’s eyes widen. “Oh my god! You dated Connor Hanes?” she practically shouts.

“Shh! Yes, be quiet! Please. I don’t want him to hear us. And that’s…. That’s not his name. I mean, are you doing that on purpose?”

“Oh, shit, sorry. It’s Hayes, right? Anyway, sorry for being loud. Okay, I get why you don’t want him to see you. I mean, no offense or anything, but….” she stops and gestures widely at Felix’s face, as though that explains everything. Felix sighs, as he realizes it probably does.

“Yeah, I get it. I’m not exactly at my best. And our breakup wasn’t on the best of terms. I just want out of here, you know?” Felix explains, pinching the bridge of his nose, wishing he could just vanish from this situation.

“Oh, I get it. He’s an asshole, right? The author types usually are. You think they’re gentle and introspective, but they usually turn out to be pretentious dicks.”

Felix shakes his head. “No, he’s not like that at all. He is gentle. But, also an asshole. It’s just complicated, okay? I’m not ready to talk to him and I need to leave before he sees me.”

He notices Annie is biting her lip “Uh, yeah, totally makes sense, but, uh, he’s definitely already seen you. I mean, he’s been staring at you the whole time. I’m pretty sure the only reason he’s not over here right now is because that bookstore guy is talking to him.”

Felix sighs and hangs his head, at a loss for what to do. “Fuck. I think I’m going to have to talk to him,” he begrudgingly admits.

Annie’s still staring ahead, but she nods, giving him a sad smile. “Yeah, without a doubt. He will not stop looking at you.”

Felix is reminded he’s coming down with a cold when the tickle returns. He is determined to stifle these if it takes every particle of willpower in his body. There’s not a chance he’s letting Connor’s impression of Felix’s current state of life to be as a gross, sniffly mess who sprays sneezes all over bookstores.

He can feel the sneeze making its way through his nasal passages. He feels the need to release getting closer and closer until it reaches its peak and —

“Ngxx’t.” 

There’s barely any sound.

Felix smiles at Annie as though she has any emotional investment at all in Felix’s ability to suppress a sneeze. But she apparently does because she smiles and pretends to clap and says “Congrats! That was barely even noticeable!” Then she sharply gasps and returns to digging in her purse. Felix hears the distinct sound of a zipper opening.

“Yes! I knew I had more,” Annie proudly states, as she holds another wad of tissues. 

Felix, deciding Annie is the best stranger he’s ever met, grabs the tissues and just blows. He makes sure his back is still turned toward Connor, so when he’s finally no longer occupied, he won’t see Felix evacuating out what has to be his entire soul into the tissues. He blows and blows until the tissues are soggy, vile, and utterly spent.
    
“Okay, Annie, how sick do I sound? On a scale from 1-10? 1 being ‘oh the weather’s cold and it’s making my nose a little sniffly’ and 10 being ‘get away from me you disgusting plague-carrier?’”

“Hmm,” Annie says, clearly considering the question seriously. “Honestly, before that crazy nose blow, I would’ve probably said a six or a seven. I mean, absolutely no offense, but you were congested as hell. But now, I think you could pass for a three. Maybe a two if you try hard enough.”

Finding his spirits uplifted, he smiles at Annie. “Okay, a two. I can manage a two.”

"HAHH - gnxt’CHOOO! Goddammit!” 

“Oof… I hate to say it, but you’re definitely back to a 7.” She pauses as he glares at her. “Oh, shit! He’s done talking to that guy. He’s coming over here! Good luck!” she whispers, as she hurries away.
    
He finally turns around and looks up at Connor. 

“Felix?”

The name is spoken simply in a soft tone he was once quite familiar with. It sends him back a year ago when the name was said with unmistakable affection. Or, at least, Felix had thought the affection had been unmistakable, but clearly been mistaken, indeed.

 Because in the end, Connor had left Felix as though he’d never mattered at all. 
 

[Sitruuna]

👀👀👀

Definitely looking forward to the next part.

[GraySkies]

 

Here's Part 2! This is pretty light on the the sneezing, but I'm sure it will undoubtedly get more sneeze-heavy as the story progresses. I'm still having fun (yay!) so I'll probably keep writing on and off today, but I'm going to keep posting in small parts (for reasons that totally have nothing to do with account validation😉). 

 

“Connor! Hi. Um, what are you doing here?” Felix asks, cringing as he realizes how inane of a question that is. 

“Oh! I’m actually doing a book signing here for my new book Rewind to the Beginning,” Connor begins, but pauses before continuing. “Sorry, you don’t need to know the title. It doesn’t really matter, I guess. But, yeah, I’m doing a signing. It was supposed to start several minutes ago, actually, but there’s a delay because of … Some kind of issue that didn’t make sense to me when the guy explained it.  So, I’m just kind of waiting around until I’m told we’re ready. But I saw you over here and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say ‘hi,’ so…. Hi,” Connor explains, his cheeks flushing slightly, as he cards a hand through his hair.

Felix stares at him, wondering what the hell is happening because Connor seems nervous. Connor doesn’t get nervous. Connor, while often possessing a quiet, thoughtful demeanor, is always confident and well-spoken. Connor is often mistaken as timid due to his reluctance to speak freely the way others do, but Felix knows this reluctance doesn’t come from a place of anxiety or nerves. Connor just simply doesn’t speak unless he has something he deems notable of speaking about. So why the hell is he rambling? Felix wonders if he’s more ill than he’d initially thought. He must be delusional from a fever. He wonders if he’s even in a bookstore at all. Maybe he’s still in bed and is fever dreaming all of this. He thinks that is probably the best case scenario, at this point, because he doesn’t know how to deal with Connor —  especially this Connor. 

“Felix, are you all right?” Connor asks, seeming genuinely concerned.

Felix is decidedly not all right. His throat is sore and the thought alone of trying to talk is enough to elicit the sensation of swallowing razor blades. There is now what seems to be a perpetual tickle residing inside of his nose, and each breath he takes is teasing the tickle in such a tortuous manner that Felix wants to give in and just sneeze and sneeze and sneeze until his body is finally satisfied. But that is certainly not information he will be relaying to Connor. Felix feels weak, vulnerable, and absurdly gross, but he refuses for this to be the impression Connor has of him after going over a year without seeing each other.

“Oh, yes. I’m fine, sorry. I was just surprised to see you here and I got caught up in my thoughts, I think,” Felix explains, feeling proud his voice only comes out slightly nasally. 

Connor offers a soft smile. “ Yeah, I guess that makes sense. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“It has,” Felix starts, not sure how to navigate this awkward situation. “So, uh, a book signing? That’s … cool. Book signings are cool and… neat. And fun, probably. I mean, I guess, anyway. I’ve never actually been to one. ”

Felix wonders if he should walk away — just simply walk past Connor right now and leave the bookstore without another word. That has to be a better choice than standing here talking about how “cool” and “neat” book signings are. But Connor smiles, not appearing, at least, to be judging Felix for his inability to effectively carry a conversation. 

“Felix, you have been to a book signing before. Um, one of mine, actually. Remember? When Perpetual Paradox came out.  From what I remember, ‘cool’ and ‘neat’ were not the adjectives you chose to use, then. And certainly not ‘fun,’” Connor says, letting out a small laugh. “I seem to recall you sitting in the audience reading a book while I spoke about my writing process. It wasn’t even one of my books. I think it was a book about lizards, right?”

Felix decides, in that moment, that walking away definitely would have been the better option. He does remember that book signing now that Connor is mentioning it. He feels his cheeks warming up as he thinks about how badly he’s messing up this encounter.

“Uh, yeah. The uromastyx,” Felix says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was reading about the uromastyx.”

“That’s right. The ones with the spiky tails, right? You said people usually call them the ‘spiky-tailed lizard.”

Felix can’t hold back the small smile he feels forming. 

“Yeah, kind of,” Felix explains. “You’re on the right track, anyway. People colloquially refer to them as ‘spiny-tailed lizards,’ not spiky-tailed. But I understand how you could make that mistake.” Felix pauses as he notices the corners of Connor’s mouth twitching. “What?” he asks.

“Oh, nothing! Nothing. I just forgot, I guess, how you did that,” Connor says, his smile now fully visible, shining brightly. “How you’d sometimes talk like I was one of your high school students.”

“What? Oh my god, I do that?  I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be condescending,” Felix apologizes, wishing for this conversation to come to an end very soon.

“No, no! No apologies needed, don’t worry. I didn’t say I minded it,” Connor adds quickly. 

“I mean, okay, but how could you not, though?” Felix starts, but then feels the severity of the tickle in his nose amplify its intensity. “I m-m-mean, heh, why are we e-e-even talking about heh-hnxt! Uh, sorry,” he says, rubbing his nose that certainly is not pleased by the stifle. “Why are we even talking about lizards? That’s what I meant to say.”

“Bless you. And we’re talking about lizards because they’re, evidently, more interesting than my book signings,” Connor says, but he’s smiling, not appearing to be actually bothered.

“Okay, listen, that’s not fair. I - hehhhHhhhHHeh. Ugh, sorry. I feel like I have to - have to,” Felix pauses glancing up at the fluorescent light, his eyes fluttering. “Heh-hgNXT!” 

“Bless you,” Connor responds immediately. “Or did I speak too soon? Because you still kind of look like you need to —”

“Heh-ng’tchoo!”

“Sneeze,” Connor finishes, grinning. “Yeah, I thought so. Though I don’t think I’ve ever heard you actually sneeze before. You would always just suddenly jerk forward and make the weirdest little noise that took me forever to realize was even a sneeze. But, look at you! Sneezing like a normal human being! Kind of, anyway. At least for that last one.”

Felix mentally applauds his body for not making as enormous of a spectacle as it could have. He did manage to successfully stifle two of his sneezes, anyway. That last one got away from him, but only a little. It was still soft and subtle — not anything like the violent, unpredictable sneezes erupting from him when he’d been talking to Annie. Those had, quite frankly, scared him. He can’t remember ever being so out of control of his body. He wonders if maybe he’s not so sick, after all, and that the sneezes from before were just a fluke. There are still alarm bells ringing in his head reminding him that three sneezes in a row is highly abnormal for him, regardless of his ability to stifle them, but he shoves those thoughts aside to be considered later. Felix, unfortunately, can’t resist the urge to sniffle, but it’s a gentle, soft sniffle that holds none of the sheer desperation and urgency of the sniffles from before. He supposes that last nose blow took care of things.

“Well, you know what they say. About time and how it changes people and all that. Some people get wiser as the years go on. I just get stronger sneezes, apparently,” Felix jokes.

“Apparently so,” Connor says, still smiling. “Anyway, we were talking about book signings. And how it’s, according to you, ‘not fair’ for me to be offended at you for reading a book about lizards while I was giving what I’m sure was a life-altering speech.”

“Right, yes. I stand by the statement because it’s not fair. Have you forgotten that you’d literally practiced that life-altering speech, as you so call it, on the car ride over to the bookstore? With me as a very engaged, attentive listener? I mean, what you had to say was very interesting and all, but….” Felix says, trailing off at the end.

“Just not as interesting as the ‘spiny-tailed’ lizard?” Connor interjects.

Felix grins. “Not quite enough to listen to twice, I’m afraid.”

“Okay, noted. Maybe I’ll add more reptile facts to these things, then, to keep people from getting too bored. Because, as everyone knows, reptile biology is a very compelling topic to the general public.” Connor says with a smirk.

“Yep. A very compelling, ubiquitous, not-at-all a niche topic,” Felix agrees, nodding his head, provoking a laugh from Connor.

“What are you doing here anyway?” Connor asks. “If you’re not here for my immensely entertaining book signing?”

“Oh. I was just bored, I guess, and you know I love a good bookstore. So I figured I’d make the short drive and look around.”

“Ah, I see. Yes, I remember your love of bookstores. I was just wondering if there was a more specific reason that would compel you to leave your house. With your cold and everything. I’d imagine you’d prefer to be resting at home.”

Felix tries to maintain a neutral expression. How the hell did he know you were sick? What did you do wrong? his brain yells at him. Felix truly thought he’d sounded basically fine. He certainly sounded better than he had when he’d been talking to Annie. Felix briefly mentally flips through his memories, trying to think if Connor had ever even seen Felix sick before because maybe then that would, at least, make a kind of sense. But they’d only dated for a year, and the last time Felix remembers being sick at all was definitely before he’d met Connor. He remembers because he had to teach a lesson about viruses while being infected with a virus, himself. His students had definitely enjoyed the irony. 

Felix realizes the logical action to take would be to agree that, yes, he has a bit of a cold, and to explain that he wasn’t feeling too bad before he’d left so he hadn’t thought much of it. That would also be the action a normal, well-adjusted person would take. 

Which is why, Felix, instead says “What do you mean? I don’t have a cold.” 

Because Felix is not, and has never been, a normal, well-adjusted person who makes logical decisions. 

Connor is clearly surprised at the statement. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just, uh…. Nevermind. I guess I was wrong,” Connor says.

“Wait, but why do you think I’m sick?” Felix asks, as he visualizes a self-hatred meter with its bar skyrocketing to the top because why would he ask that? He should be changing the subject, not encouraging this line of conversation.

“Well, you just look like you have a cold, I guess. And kind of sound like it, too?” Connor admits, sheepishly, rubbing his neck. “I understand that can be interpreted as offensive since you’re not actually sick, so I’m sorry. It’s just that your nose is a little red and your voice…. Then there’s the sneezes. I mean, I don’t really remember you sneezing a lot, but I could be wrong. It has been a while, after all,” Connor finishes, looking like he regrets having started the conversation.

“Well, I do take offense. I thought I looked and sounded great, thank you very much,” Felix says, feigning indignation, and has to suppress a smile as he watches Connor’s eyes widen. Felix is very aware that he likely looks like shit in his flannel with its snot-stained sleeves.

“I mean, you do look great. You, uh, you always look great. Shit, sorry if that’s out of line. I know it’s not my place to say things like that, anymore. But I don’t want you to think I think you look bad. You just look a bit under the weather. I’m realizing, though, I should have just been quiet because that’s kind of a rude thing to do, now that I think of it. To just tell someone they look unwell.”

Felix doesn’t know who he’s talking to right now, but it can’t be Connor Hayes. The Connor Hayes he remembers would never ramble this way or sound so uncertain. Felix feels quite pleased that he, apparently, has the ability, even after their time apart, to reduce Connor to such a state. 

“Listen, it’s fine. No worries. I do feel a little tired, I guess, so maybe that’s what it is? And I wasn’t really sneezing that much. But, anyway, it’s no big deal. It’s an easy mistake to make, and it’s not that rude. I was mostly joking,” Felix explains.

Felix only feels slightly ashamed of the gaslight-y vibes he’s projecting, since it’s not like their time together is going to extend past this one interaction, anyway. But the smile that ignites on Connor’s face after realizing Felix isn’t actually upset definitely does elicit some guilty feelings within Felix. 

“Okay, good,” Connor says, breathing out a clear sigh of relief.  “I’m glad you’re not sick, though. That’s never any fun. But did you find anything?”

“Did I what?” Felix asks, confused.

“I mean, here, at the bookstore. Did you find anything worth buying? It doesn’t look like you have any books, though, so I’m assuming you didn’t.”

“Oh! Actually I did find this book about the evolutionary history of crocodiles, but —” Felix stops talking because he realizes he can’t tell Connor the reason he put the book back was due to violently sneezing all over it in such a way that it disturbed him to continue holding it. “I decided I should just save money instead of buying frivolous reptile-related books. I think maybe I need to become a more fiscally responsible person,” Felix settles on, only slightly fibbing.

“Well, I certainly can’t argue with that. You did spend two thousand dollars on a snake terrarium.”

“Okay, wait. There’s no way you’re implying that the gorgeous enclosure I bought for my sweet, perfect Reggie was a frivolous purchase!” Felix exclaims, clutching his chest dramatically. 

“I would never,” Connor defends, though a smile is definitely breaking through the cracks. “Reggie is a beautiful snake who only deserves the best. I’m sorry to imply otherwise. But, maybe, it wasn’t exactly necessary to also spend three hundred dollars on a heating pad for him.” 

Felix gasps, which to his horror, somehow triggers a sneeze that he just barely manages to stifle into his fist.

“HEH-HNXT!”

“I can’t believe you would dare claim Reggie’s heating pad was anything less than necessary,” Felix continues, figuring the best way to handle this situation would be to pretend the sneeze never happened. “He needs the heating pad so the warmth can be distributed —” 

“Distributed evenly to mimic the heat from the sun,” Connor provides, interrupting Felix’s lecture on the very real needs of his green tree python. “I know. I remember, I remember. I am truly and deeply sorry” he says, hands up in defense, but laughing all the same. 

“Okay, good, you should be. And, you’re one to talk! I mean, how many Kindles do you have? It’s, like, five right?” Felix asks, giving a knowing smile.

“Geez, Felix, you’ve always had a propensity for exaggeration. It’s not five,” he pauses as he seems to realize what he’s getting ready to say isn’t going to be all that better. “It’s uh, it’s only three.”

Felix narrows his eyes. “And why, Connor, do you have three Kindles?”

“Buying three Kindles is an entirely valid and reasonable decision to make. And these are the reasons why,” Connor begins in the tone of a voice indicating Felix is about to listen to a full-on presentation on the benefits of owning three e-readers. 

“First of all,” Connor says, but Felix has to abruptly turn away.

“HeehhhHHHH-HeHH-etCHOOOOO!” 

The sneeze is expelled directly into Felix’s hands. He’s grateful that it wasn’t especially messy, in terms of viscosity, anyway, but it was definitely wet. He pulls his hands away and grimaces as he looks at his droplet-splattered palms. He looks up and is surprised to see Connor pulling out a small bottle of hand sanitizer from his pocket.

“Here. I always keep some of this on me when I’m at an event like this. You know, with all the hand shaking and all the books I’m touching. But it looks like you can use some,” he says, as he holds the bottle out, ready to squeeze the liquid onto Felix’s palms.

Felix certainly isn’t going to object. He goes to hold out his hands, but quickly pulls them back up to his face.

“HeeeehhhHHHH-aaAHH-hehGNTchoooo!” 

Felix sniffles several times, hands still over his face, doing his best at damage control. He looks up at Connor and is surprised to see a gentle expression on his face. 

“Hey, stay right there. I’ll be back,” he says, spinning quickly on his heels and heading to the front of the bookstore. 

Felix just stands there, trying not to dwell on the absolutely mortifying situation he has found himself in. Connor, thankfully, comes back quickly, having jogged to the front desk and back, and is holding a box of tissues. Connor plucks out several, holding them out for Felix.

Felix removes one hand from his face and frantically grasps for the tissues. He immediately brings them to his face and blows his nose over and over and over. The sounds are… unpleasant, to say the least. But in this moment, Felix just needs this stuff out. At one point, Connor hands over more tissues that Felix graciously takes. Felix finally is able to dispose of the tissues in a nearby garbage can. Connor, once again has out his hand sanitizer, and Felix holds his hands under for a second try. 

“So, about this cold that you don’t have….” Connor begins, as he pockets the hand sanitizer after Felix finishes using it. 

“I mean, I don’t think I would call it a cold,” Felix retorts, albeit very weakly.

“Right, and what exactly would you call it, then?”

“I don’t know, but not that. I’m just ever so slightly under the weather. Like barely. And even that’s just a maybe. It could be allergies,” adds Felix.

“You don’t have allergies,” Connor states simply.

“People can develop allergies as they age, you know. Maybe that’s what’s happening to me.”

“Maybe. I suppose it’s possible that you’ve developed allergies in the dead of winter that are, for some reason, choosing to act up for the first time in an isolated section of a bookstore. Or,” he continues “And, I could definitely be wrong, of course. But, hear me out, you could be getting sick.”

“Weren’t you just saying earlier about how it’s rude to tell someone they seem sick?” Felix asks, with a glare.

“Yeah, Felix, that’s before it became painfully evident that you are, in fact, sick. It would be rude, at this point, I think to pretend I don’t notice. Would you rather I had let you drown in your own snot instead of bringing the tissues?” 

“Okay, whatever, then. Thank you… for the tissues. And hand sanitizer,” he says, reluctantly. “But, shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, doing important author things right now?”

“Yes, actually, I should go up and see if they’re about ready for me. But, listen, absolutely feel free to say no to this — I recognize you don’t owe me a single thing — but would you stay? Through the presentation and everything? There will be a Q&A after, I’m sure. And then, of course, the actual signing, which will take… I’m not sure how long. And I’ll probably meet a few of my readers. But after, it’d be nice to keep talking to you. We could go to the coffee shop section. If you want —  obviously. Again, I know I’m not owed anything. And, you’re also si-. Uh, sorry, you’re ‘ever so slightly under the weather’, so it would make complete sense if you’d rather go home.”

Felix isn’t sure why he makes the decision he does. It could be because Connor is rambling and Felix needs more of that in his life because he’d never imagined seeing Connor Hayes so undone. Or it could be because Felix is quite simply beginning to feel exhausted and would love the opportunity to sit down for a moment. Or it could be because Connor looks soft and warm in his beige sweater and button-up and something about that image soothes Felix in a way he doesn’t understand. Or it’s because you fucking miss him, Felix’s brain chides.

Regardless of the reason, Felix says “That sounds nice, yeah, okay.”

Felix watches Connor’s face light up with a smile and wonders why he seems incapable of ever making a good decision.  
 

[GraySkies]

10 hours ago, Sitruuna said:

👀👀👀

Definitely looking forward to the next part.

Yay, hope you enjoy ☺️

[Sitruuna]

2 hours ago, GraySkies said:

Yay, hope you enjoy ☺️

oh I definitely enjoyed the update 😊

[dwaekki]

Omg I love this so far, I'm so excited to see where it'll go in the next chapters!! I especailly love Felix's stifles and your descriptions of them and Connor's unexpected gentleness and caretaking even after they've been broken up for a long while 💕

[GraySkies]

@Sitruuna Awesome! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

@dwaekki I'm glad you appreciated the gentle way Connor is showing caretaking. I love caretaking so there's going to be a lot more of that later on, without a doubt!

[GraySkies]

 

Part 3! This part is pretty short, unfortunately. I wanted to add more, but it just naturally feels like it should stop where it does. The other parts will be longer! This one is a little more on the indulgent side, as far as sneezes go. And, also, again, warning for a little mess!

Felix decides to head to the restroom before the event begins. There has been a tickle steadily building up in his nose that he’s sure is a prelude to a sneeze. It’s, to his relief, a single toilet restroom, so there’s no stalls full of people who could possibly hear him. He immediately pulls  a considerate amount of paper towel from the dispenser and heads over to the sink. Once he sees his reflection in the mirror, he pauses, the paper towel held halfway up to his face. He realizes there’s a pool of clear mucus visible inside his left nostril. He, without thinking, sniffs in an effort to rid himself of the image as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, this does not have the desired effect.

Hiiiiiihhh-hiihhh-itTCHOOOOOO!

The sneeze tears straight through his throat and into the sink. He tries sniffling again.

HEH’TCHOOOOOO!

“Fuck,” he groans, hands bracing either side of the sink. He’s never sneezed like this. Holding back his sneezes has not once been an issue for him before until today. He’d always done it without thinking.

 He still somehow feels the tickle in his sinuses and he takes a deep gasp of breath before slowly letting it out. 

I am in control of my body, he thinks. I have spent, effectively, thirty years stifling sneezes. I know how to hold in a sneeze. This stupid, stupid cold will not change that.

"AHHHH-AHHHH-HeehhhHHHH! Oh my god! HeeeeeehhH!

Felix breathes out slowly, determined, out of spite at his own body at this point, to prove to himself that he does not have to be at the mercy of a fucking sneeze. 

His nose is absolutely pouring. He wipes the liquid streaming out of it away with his flannel sleeve without even considering the option of using the paper towel that’s still in his hand. He tilts his head back, gasping as he takes in little desperate puffs of air as he tries to simply stall the tickle until it just fades away. He stares bleary-eyed at himself in the mirror. Tears are leaking from his eyes, and somehow his nose is running again. The skin around his nostrils is an aggressive shade of red. He watches his nostrils flare and his chest heave as he continues refusing to give into the urge. 

HEEHHHHHhhhHEEEHHH! 

“Oh my god, why?” he groans as he continues to gasp ridiculously with his head tilted back.

Slowly, the tickle recedes. Felix continues taking careful breaths as he feels the intensity of the urge wane. With morbid fascination, he watches as his eyes and nose leak down his face.  He sniffles and hesitantly brings the paper towels up to wipe his sore, irritated nostrils. 

They immediately begin flaring.

Fuck, he has time to think, before the entire process starts over.

AhhhHHHHHHHHHH - aaaHHHH - heh - hehhhHHHHH - heehhhhHHHHH!

Why am I doing this, he wonders, as he comes to the realization that he’s essentially torturing himself. He knows he needs to just sneeze — to just let the release come already in whatever form it wants to. It would actually make the most sense to let them out now, while he’s in the bathroom, instead of in the middle of a quiet bookstore while his ex-boyfriend is speaking.

HeehhhhHHHHHHHH! HeehhhHH! 

 He’s done, it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s more than happy to be at the sneeze’s mercy. He just wants relief.  

HeeeeeehhhhHHHH!

He feels the tickle building and with hands still grasping the edges of the sink, he prepares to finally, finally let go and — 

Someone knocks on the door.

And the tickle completely disappears. 

He clears his throat before shouting “Yeah, sorry! I’m getting ready to come out,” grimacing at his wreck of a voice. He takes his wad of paper towels, shoves them to his face, and releases an inordinate amount of mess into them. He tosses them and washes his hands. He looks at himself in the mirror, winces, and quickly tries to arrange his mess of brown waves into some kind of semblance of order. Giving up on the futile task, he makes his way out.

He sees the area set up for the signing with fold out chairs spread out in rows. Sniffling, he makes his way over to one of the chairs and practically collapses into it. He knows that this is a bad idea. Agreeing to sit here for who knows how long was a monumental error and, honestly, Felix thinks he needs to rectify it. He can not imagine within any realm of possibility of being able to sit quietly in this chair during a reading, Q&A, and meet and greet. He needs to find Connor and tell him they can catch up another time — or never, as far as Felix is concerned at this moment. He’s starting to feel sick. He wants to go home and see Reggie, then curl up in bed. He can process his feelings at another time. He’ll have more time to ask Connor all the questions he’s been holding, like the ever pressing “Why the hell are you back here?”

 That all can wait. Now, the only desire he possesses is to just rest. He looks around in search of Connor, but, instead, sees Annie.

“Oh my goodness, you poor thing! How did you manage to get yourself looking even worse?” Annie asks, walking up to him, eyes wide.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I did this to myself. It wasn’t exactly a deliberate decision,” he explains, absently wiping his nose with the sleeve of his hand.

“That poor flannel. I hate to say this, but you should take it off. I can see you have a t-shirt on under it, so you’ll be fine.”

Felix narrows his eyes, tugging the flannel tighter around himself. “I don’t want to take it off,” he mutters.

Annie sighs and shakes her head. “It’s filthy, though — wait, what’s your name?”

Felix, sniffing hard, relays his name as he keeps his arms folded across his stomach.

“Okay, Felix, then. That name suits you, you know? Do you ever meet someone and just think wow, that name really matches the face!”

“No, I don’t think I know what you mean,” Felix says, rubbing his temples.

“Oh, I just mean when I hear the name ‘Felix,’ it kind of brings to mind an image of someone a little on the messy side, you know? Like, a little unkempt. Though, that could just be me. But, it’s like, when you think of the name Bernard, you’re going to probably think of an older man, maybe on the sophisticated side, right? ”

Felix glares at her and shakes his head, but then is surprised to find himself laughing. “You do realize you just insulted me?”

Annie has the nerve to look confused. “I wouldn’t say insulted, exactly —”

“You know, I don’t always go around in snot covered clothes, right?” Felix interrupts. “I mean, this is a special circumstance. I’m not that messy of a person.”

“Oh, no! That’s not even what I was talking about. I just meant, you know….” Annie says, gesturing broadly at Felix’s entire body. Then, finally seeming to realize the problem, winces. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way! I just meant your hair is kind of on the unruly side and the flannel is kind of too big and the jeans are, uh, also kind of too big? And I’m pretty sure there’s, like, dirt, or paint, or something on the back of them,” she says, but pauses, once she sees Felix’s expression. “It’s cute, though! You’re cute! You’re like a big puppy. A big puppy named Felix. It works for you is all I’m saying,” she finally finishes. 

Felix wants to say —honestly, he’s not sure what to say to that, but he wants to say something. Instead, he feels his breath hitching and —

“Ngxt!” 

He stifles it into his fist, but takes another deep breath before folding forward.

“HEH-NgXT! Ahhhh- Ahh - hehhhHH - hehHH NGxT! NGxt’choo!”

All the stifling shifted things around in his sinuses, and he’s sniffling up more than he can handle and has to subject his poor flannel to yet another repulsive task. He’s pleased, though, that he had some control over the sneezes. The last one got away from him, but only slightly. He knew he could overcome the urge to sneeze loudly and forcefully; it just takes a lot of willpower. 

“Oh, Felix! I just want to tuck you into bed and bring you some tea.”

Felix sniffles and narrows his eyes. “I’m surprised you don’t want to give me dog biscuits. Since apparently I’m like a dog.”

“No! No, that is not what I said. I said puppy. A big, cute, puppy. Who should be in bed,” she says, frowning. 

This is when Felix realizes that he had, indeed, been intending to go to bed. Or, at least begin the process of going to bed, which, of course, entails going to Connor and telling him he has to bail. But he forgot because he got caught up in inane chatter with Annie. Again. 

“Listen, Felix. I’m going to grab you some tissues okay. Then you’re taking that flannel off. It’s honestly making me want to gag looking at it, okay? It’s like, a snail or something just trailed across your arm and —”
“Stop! Stop, please stop. I get it. I’m grossness personified,” he says sniffling, as if he needs to emphasize his point. 

Annie smiles, then gets up to begin her quest to retrieve tissues. Felix knows he should just leave, but he does want the tissues, so he figures he’ll wait until she comes back.

Once she’s back, he clutches the boxes of tissues, desperately. “Oh my god, thank you so much,” he says, already plucking out several. “But, maybe you shouldn't have taken the whole box?”

“It’s fine. They’re just tissues, and no one even saw me take them,” she explains, smiling, but Felix isn’t sure if that’s better or worse.

“Heh-NgXT! Heh-NgXT!” 

Felix feels dizzy from sneezing so violently and back to back like that. He decides he doesn’t care where Annie got the tissues and he just let’s all of it out, only grimacing a little at how bad the sound is.

“Okay, now the flannel. Take it off. Now,” Annie says, eyeing him seriously.

“Wow, Annie, but we only just m-m-met heh-het’choo!” Felix frowns at the lack of control he had over that one, but he at least got it into the tissues.

“Oh, hush. I told you I have a girlfriend. I’m pretty sure my intentions are clear.”

Felix smiles. “Right, yeah, I think they are. You just want me out of this so you can stop looking at my gross sleeves?” he asks, already slipping off the flannel.

“Exactly! I knew you were smart!” she exclaims.

“Um, I don’t think you did. You thought I was messy. Like a puppy,” he says, furrowing his brows.

“A messy, smart puppy. Keep up Felix! Oh, look Connor’s finally getting ready to speak,” she says excitedly as she gets her phone out to, Felix presumes, to record for her girlfriend.

Felix realizes the only way he can exit this situation, now, would be to get up and leave. Felix can’t imagine a scenario where Connor interprets that as anything but rude, which, for some reason, is something he apparently cares about. So, he stays. The tickle is building back up in his sinuses. He clutches his tissue box, which sits on his folded up flannel, and he braces himself to spend a little time in hell as he already feels his breath start to hitch.
 

[RipleyToo]

Waiting to read more! 
 

Will Conner catch this cold down the line also? I’d love to see that too! 

[Sitruuna]

4 hours ago, GraySkies said:

He realizes there’s a pool of clear mucus visible inside his left nostril.

that's a very nice image

 

[dwaekki]

Aww this is so cute! I love his willpower to stifle and self pity lol

[GraySkies]

Thank you everyone who's continuing to read this! The comments are very appreciated! Here's the next part. I'm kind of really putting Felix through a tough time, but I can't help it. I love to make my characters suffer a while before the comfort part comes in 😅 Anyway, I'm still having a lot of fun with Felix and Connor and exploring who they are, so I'm definitely planning to write more soon!

Felix had forgotten how eloquent of a speaker Connor was. Listening to him now, Felix can remember why he’d never been able to resist falling in love with him. 

He thinks back to their days spent together. In the year they’d dated, they’d never officially lived together. This was all due to Connor, as Felix would have happily shared as much of his life as possible with Connor. Connor, though, would become visibly uncomfortable whenever the topic was even hinted at. He’d always been content to spend his days at Felix’s house; he’d just never wanted to make the final commitment to let go of his apartment. So, Felix never felt compelled to complain too much, even as it was evident that Felix was more committed to their relationship than Connor.

He remembers the lazy evenings spent in bed. He thinks back to the times he’d laid his head against Connor’s broad chest, simply resting there. Connor, naturally, loved reading and had always brought a book to bed with him. This habit progressed into Connor reading his books out loud while Felix listened. Felix would joke that Connor was like a free Audible subscription. He’d listen to the deep timbre of Connor’s voice, his cheek pressed against Connor’s skin, until he’d drift off to sleep.

This memory is currently flashing through Felix’s mind due to the utter sleepiness he feels overtaking his body as he listens to Connor read from his most recent book. There’s a dull ache residing in his head, but the cadence of Connor’s words acts as a balm. He knows he should be listening to the actual words Connor’s saying. He should be taking a moment to reflect on Connor’s striking ability to write and build worlds. But instead, his focus is devoted solely to trying to stay awake. Although, he realizes that’s not entirely true. Because —

“HNNNKK’nT! HNNNgKK’nT!” 

He wipes his nose with another tissue, feeling it scrape against his raw nostrils and elicit yet another tickle in his increasing sensitive sinuses.

“HNNK’xT!”

This time, he chooses to rub at the inside of his nostrils with his finger instead of using a tissue. To his horror, it makes a squelching noise. He feels the liquid transfer to his finger and looks at the glistening trail left behind, mentally making a note to get more hand sanitizer from Connor. The action is less irritating than the tissue, which he’s grateful for, but he has to wonder what a mess he must look like.

Connor proceeds to talk about… something. Felix’s eyes are watering and he has to periodically wipe them to see clearly. He, again, is forced to wonder what vicious strain of cold virus he managed to catch because this is another symptom he’s very rarely experienced, and certainly never to the extent he’s dealing with now. His entire face seems to be leaking endlessly. 

“H’nxkt!”

And then there’s the sneezes. He’s now beyond sure this is the worst cold he’s ever had. Even without a cough or a fever, the sheer amount of sneezing and mucus his body is producing is alarming and absolutely exhausting and is enough to rank at the very top of the Worst Colds Ever Experienced list. He fiercely hopes the cold doesn’t progress beyond his current symptoms, but at the current rate it seems to be worsening, he knows it’s wishful thinking. 

“HEH-NXT’choooo!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, he can’t help but think. This oh-so-intelligent line of thinking is due to not only the pain the half-stifle provokes, but also the audible “choo” sound it releases. This cold has already well established that the best he can hope for from his sneezes are hard, painful stifles. While these stifles have been significantly stronger than any other sneezes he’s had in the past, they’ve still been relatively quiet. This sneeze, while not excessively loud, was noticeable. Someone behind him “blesses” him, to which he, sheepishly, gives his thanks. He feels his cheeks redden at the attention. He wants to go home.

Annie suddenly elbows him and he meets her gaze and sees her eyebrows rising. She’s still holding her phone out to record Connor and is wearing an expression that says “Stop sneezing. You’re ruining my video.” Felix, of course, glares at her because he’s trying with every fiber of his being not to sneeze. He mentally groans at the idea of his stupid sneezes being immortalized in a recording. 

Breathing through his nose is a task Felix deems unnecessarily arduous. He’s not stuffy — no, it’s the exact opposite problem. His nose is full — dangerously full. He’s not wanted to risk a nose blow while Connor’s been speaking, so he’s resorted to managing his nose with surreptitious wipes. This hasn’t been even almost effective at solving the problem. The contents of his nose are fleeing his nostrils at a pace he’s finding incredibly difficult to keep up with. Each breath is moving the fluid out and there’s an incredibly audible liquid quality to his breathing. He’d simply breathe through his mouth, but that’s not an option because then his nose would leak out even more quickly without the force of him sucking air back through his nostrils. 

He eventually reaches an unfortunate point where all choice in the matter is removed. He has to blow his nose. He could get up and go to the bathroom, which brings its own type of attention in this kind of environment. The other option is to remain seated and use the tissues he has on his lap and try to be discreet. He decides on the latter.

He covers his nose with the tissue, the irritation of the skin around nostrils flaring almost instantly. His left nostril is definitely in worse shape than the right, so he chooses to begin there. He holds his right nostril closed and finally just blows.

Felix had been hoping for a stream to slowly trickle out as he lightly blew. But what actually happens can only be described as a gush. He feels the warm liquid that’s all too eager to rush out coat the outside of his nostrils even with the use of a tissue. He quickly grabs another tissue for assistance. He’s embarrassed to find that he has to perform another blow to fully evacuate just the single nostril, which requires two more tissues. He shoves the absolutely vile tissues into his pocket. Then he reluctantly performs the same task with his right nostril, which is only slightly less disgusting of a process. He’s pleasantly surprised to feel actual relief, though he’s it will last only momentarily.

Felix continues listening to Connor as he sits in somewhat of a daze. Eventually, the event transitions into a Q&A. 

Felix listens as Connor deftly handles each question. This is the Connor Hayes he’s used to — the Connor who can speak with admirable grace. Connor doesn’t miss a beat and smiles warmly as each person asks their question. Felix eventually allows his foggy mind to wander. He thinks about his lesson plans for next week and whether or not the upcoming inclement weather will force the school to temporarily close. He figures this would be the best outcome for him so that he can stay home and recover. He could, of course, take a sick day but he’s always detested doing so since acquiring a decent sub and making sub plans is much harder than just working while sick. The forecast for Monday is calling for an ice storm, so Felix feels fairly confident the school will call off. 

Felix’s mind slowly drifts back to the actual topic being discussed as someone asks Connor if anything in his real life inspired him to write Rewind to the Beginning. 

Connor smiles and pauses as he thinks through his answer to the question. “The short answer to that question is ‘yes,” he says, grinning. “But, if there were ever a time to give a long answer, that time would be now, I suppose, right? I can’t possibly miss the perfect opportunity to ramble, could?” He pauses as he’s met with a few laughs. “So, here’s the thing. You ask any author that question, they’re going to say “yes.” The simple reason is because what we write comes from a part of ourselves. Memories, often even subconscious thoughts, weave themselves into our words without even being noticed until much later. We can only experience the world through our own personal perspective, so of course, our writing is going to reflect these experiences. Now, putting all the pretension aside, I do understand what you’re actually asking. You want to know if I made the conscious decision to inject someone or something from my own life into this book. And the answer is still, yes. Rewind to the Beginning is, ultimately, about regrets. And yes, there is something very specific that I regret that has, indeed inspired this story. However, I’m sure you understand that it is something very personal to me that I don’t feel comfortable disclosing.”

At this, Felix finds himself furrowing his eyebrows. What could Connor be referring to? Then, Felix notices Connor’s gaze lingering on him. Unmistakably. Connor is without a doubt looking right at him. So what could that mean? He tries to sift through his murky thoughts and rehash what his ears had heard but that his brain hadn’t processed so he can find what he’s missing. What had Connor been talking about? He knows it had something to do with inspiration. But that last part — it was about regrets —  about Connor regretting something in his personal life. Felix shoots Connor a puzzled expression, but quickly Felix finds himself jerking his head to the side.

“H’pptTCHooOOOOOOOOO!” he sneezes, entirely uncovered, into the empty space next to him. He blinks, then watches the spray cloud, for the split second its visible, disperse as it carries away his obscene amount of germs.

“Bless you!” Connor says into the mic, emphatically, expression mixed between amused and concerned. Felix understands the concern because that was the most powerful sneeze of his life. He had no second of warning before it was expelled from him. 

“H’rrrRRRRRCHHOOOOOOO!!”

Felix retracts his previous thought, as he realizes that sneeze undoubtedly takes the previous sneeze’s title away, easily. He hadn’t realized a sneeze could feel like it was coming from his stomach, chest, and nose all at the same time. He had managed to tuck that one into his elbow, at least.

“Bless you!” Connor repeats, eyes wide. “You can really tell it’s cold and flu season, huh?” Connor says, clearly addressing the crowd, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness. 

“Heh’mmphh’CHOOO!” Felix sneezes a third time, managing to only half muffle it into his elbow.

This time he’s met with several “bless you’s,” including Annie, and of course, Connor. Some people are laughing, uncomfortably. Felix can’t imagine there’s ever been a time in his life where his cheeks have been more red than they are now. The entire Q&A has paused because of Felix. Because of his sneezes. He doesn’t blame Connor for stopping; it’s not as though the sneezes were subtle. He understands no one could speak through such a distraction. 

He stands up to make his way to the bathroom, but his eyes are watering, and he already feels another tickle building up.

So, he doesn’t see the purse in time.

 He doesn’t simply stumble over the purse and move on — because of course, he doesn’t. His foot gets completely entangled in the strap. It’s not enough that he’s already interrupted an entire Q&A session with his sneezes, the universe also deems it necessary for him to trip and land completely on his ass while everyone in the room looks at him.

“HEP’TCHOO! Hep’tCHOOOO! HehhHHHH-hep’TCHOOOOOOO!”

At this point, Annie’s standing in front of him, offering an arm. Felix looks at her, reaching to take her it, but — 

“HAH-APPP’TTCHOOO!” he sneezes right into his hands, then shakes away Annie’s still offered hand. He manages to stand up on his own, and hurries to the bathroom. 

***
Felix regrets a lot of things about this day. He could definitely make the argument that stepping foot out of bed was the first mistake. Now, though, he’s especially regretting not bringing his tissue box with him to the bathroom. He has a roll of one-ply toilet paper that he’s relentlessly blowing into. Once, he finally finished — or as finished as it's possible to get in his state where his nose is running with no actual end in sight — he makes yet another decision he regrets.

He looks in the mirror.

Not wanting to think about that particular image for even a second, he slumps down onto the bathroom floor with his head in his hands. He refuses to cry. He may have failed at refusing to sneeze, but he’s damn well sure he’s not going to cry. He will maintain some modicum of control over his body. 

But within seconds after the thought, he finds himself swiping away a tear. He is miserable in a special kind of way that can only be described as absurd. He is absurdly miserable. He contemplates getting up and simply leaving the bookstore, but how could he possibly show himself in front of any of those people? 

He hears a knock at the bathroom door. He just ignores it. He suspects absolutely no one in his current situation would actually say or do anything about the knock on the door.

“Hey, Felix? Are you in there?” a voice calls out.

Felix slumps his head back against the wall and groans. 

“No, he’s not in here!” he calls back, voice raspy and raw.

There’s a pause, then “Well, can you tell me where he is, then?” Connor asks, clearly amused.

“He died,” Felix replies, sniffling, wiping away what he hopes are the last of his tears. “It was really sad. Didn’t you see it? He sneezed, like, a hundred times, then he tripped over a purse strap and fell on his ass. Then he sneezed a few more times because one hundred wasn’t enough, apparently. And that was it. That was the end of Felix Brown. He died of embarrassment right there. I heard a few other people died right along with him from secondhand embarrassment, that’s how bad it was.”

Felix hears Connor’s deep rumble of laughter through the thin door.

“Hm, that certainly does sound like a spectacle. Do you think you can let me in so I can tell what I saw happen?”

Felix has already lost every ounce of pride he’d ever possessed within him today, so he sighs and, reluctantly, stands up. He opens the door to see Connor. Connor steps in and closes the door.

“Hey,” Connor says, voice gentle. 

“What did you see, then?” Felix asks with a sniffle. “If it wasn’t as bad as I think it was.”

Connor laughs “Felix, I’m not a liar. It was bad. It was definitely bad. But, it wasn’t a cataclysmic event, okay? From my perspective, I simply saw someone sick with a bad cold who, uh, happened to fall down a bit. Listen, it’s embarrassing, but it happens to the best of us. It’s also possible the aforementioned person may have been, uh, somewhat coerced by an ex-boyfriend into staying through a Q&A session even though he clearly wasn’t feeling well enough to be there,” Connor finishes, frowning. 

Felix somehow manages a grin. “Oh, I like that. Yes, I agree. It’s all your fault. How dare you do this to me,” Felix jokingly chides and is pleased to earn another laugh from Connor, but the smile quickly dissipates as it's replaced by another frown.

“God, you sound congested,” Connor comments, brows furrowed.

“Connor, I’m not sure if you’ve been made aware, but, but… b-b–b-b-huhhh? Hut’CHOO! Ugh, sorry,” he says, wiping his nose into his toilet paper. “Anyway, this hasn’t been the best of days for me. I don’t know if I’m really up to being told how bad my voice sounds.”

“No, I’m — I’m not trying to insult you. You just look so sick, Felix. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before,” he pauses, expression suddenly shifting into something more mischievous.  “Of course, I just remembered that you’re not actually sick, right? I seem to recall something about only ‘maybe’ feeling slightly under the weather, or how it could just be allergies, even.” 

Felix looks down, muttering “I may be… a little more under the weather than I had previously realized.”

“Hmm… just a little? Not, like, fully?”

Felix narrows his eyes, but then relents. “God, Connor, I am entirely under the weather. Like, so fully and completely under the weather. The weather is looming over me, taunting me right now, saying ‘Felix, you’re such an idiot,’ I’m so under it.”

Felix is pleased to hear another deep rumble of laughter from Connor. “The weather kind of sounds like an asshole,” Connor says, still smiling.

“Mmm, yeah, an asshole, for sure. Did you know that phrase, originally anyway, referred to weather bows on ships? Something to do with sailors going under them when they were seasick. To keep them away from the wind or… something like that.”

“Well, no, I can’t say I did know that,” Connor says, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. “Why do you know that? Here, I thought you were full of reptile-centric only trivia. But look at you with your idiom origin knowledge!” 

Felix contemplates this. “I heard it on a podcast, I think. It’s probably not even true. Honestly, you should only trust me on the reptile facts,” he says, then sighs. “You should probably, you know, go back out there, right? I mean, to finish the Q&A, or whatever?”

“I think the Q&A part is probably officially over at this point. I told everyone I needed to step away for a moment but that I’d be back in fifteen to do the signing.” 

“Oh my god, Connor, I’m so sorry for ruining your event. I can’t believe I made such a ridiculous spectacle of myself. This was supposed to be about you and now all anyone’s going to remember is the guy who rudely sneezed his germs all over the place before falling on his ass,” Felix says, covering his face with his hands, cringing immensely. Then his hands fall, eyes widening, as he remembers something. “And it was all recorded, Connor! Someone probably captured the fall. At the very least, all my sneezes are on Annie’s camera.” 

“All right, first of all, no need to apologize. Not even a little bit of what happened was actually your fault, okay? You sneezed, Felix. It happens. That’s not even the worst interruption I’ve had at one of these things. Did I ever tell you about the signing I did at a college campus bookstore? Someone came in — probably drunk —and violently vomited into the trash can, like two feet away from me while I was doing the reading from my book. I’d take sneezing over that any day,” Connor says, nose scrunching up in apparent disgust at the memory.

Felix, somehow, even during an exceptional case of a Terrible-Horrible-No Good-Very Bad-Day, finds himself smiling. He’d forgotten this about Connor. He’d forgotten that even during his worst days, Connor could always say and do the exact right thing. No matter how shitty of a time he’d have at work, he could come home to Connor, who’d immediately wrap him up in his strong, comforting arms, and listen intently as Felix vented the day’s frustrations. 

Felix becomes overly aware that he’s in a public bathroom with his ex-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. That -ex aspect of it all can absolutely not be forgotten. It’s not Connor’s job to comfort him, anymore. Connor shouldn’t even be here. Felix shouldn’t even be here.

“Thanks for trying to make me feel better. But, listen, I should go home, I think,” he says, quickly wiping his dripping nose with a piece of toilet paper, trying not to grimace at the irritation it causes. 

“Right! Of course you should. Sorry for asking you to stay. You very obviously need to go home and get some rest. “

Felix sniffles, rubbing his nose with his toilet paper. “I probably should do that, yeah. Um, enjoy the rest of your signing,” he says, suddenly feeling awkward.

“I will, thanks,” Connor says, then frowns. “Where’s your coat?”

Felix looks down at his bare arms. “Oh, I took off my flannel because, well, it was looking kind of gross because,” Felix trails off, gesturing to his face. “Anyway, I guess it left it in my seat.”

“Well, that explains where your flannel is. But where is your coat?” he asks, again.

Felix shifts, uncomfortably. “I didn’t wear one? It’s not like I was planning to spend a lot of time outside. I just had to walk from my car to the building, so I- heh. I didn’t think, I didn’t t-think… hehhHH!” He quickly jerks his head into his bundle of toilet paper.

“HEHHHH-Hehhh-N’GXT-CHOOOOO!” he violently sneezes, groaning at the pain it causes. 

“Bless you. But, listen, you need to make sure you wear a coat, Felix. I mean, do you even own one? You always did seem incapable of dressing for cold weather. You know, that’s probably has something to do with why you’re so sick right now.”

Felix can’t hold back the eye roll. “Please don’t tell me you believe cold weather can cause viruses to suddenly materialize.”

Connor, in turn, rolls his own eyes. “No, of course not. But you don’t take care of yourself, Felix. You never ate enough, never slept enough, and always worked too hard. Combine all that with being cold and, well, you’re setting your immune system up for failure whenever it does come into contact with a virus,” he explains.

Felix feels a bit of warmth spread through his chest at the concern, but it fades when he, once again, forces himself to remember that Connor is his ex. 

“Right. Well, it’s not exactly your place anymore, really, to be concerned with my ability to care for myself,” he says, averting his gaze from Connor’s when he sees his expression morph into one that almost looks pained. “So, um, I’m going to go, okay?” he says, disposing his toilet paper into the trash can.

“Felix —” Connor starts, but Felix shakes his head, holding a hand up to stop him.

“Look, I know you wanted to talk, and maybe we can do that later; I still have your number. But I need to go home and think for a bit, all right?” Felix, his mind still foggy from his illness, can’t quite parse through the emotions playing over Connor’s face.

“Okay, yeah. You’re right. You should do that. But make sure to focus on mostly resting,” Connor adds.

Felix gives him a small smile, but doesn’t say anything else as he walks out the door.
 

[GraySkies]

@RipleyToo I'd like to eventually explore Connor with a cold! But I'm thinking I'll probably do it in a different story.

@Sitruuna Haha I am SO glad you think so. Personally, that specific element of colds is one of my personal favorite, but I know some people don't love the messy side.

@dwaekki Thanks 🙂Poor Felix is a bit of a mess and is definitely not as in control of things as he thinks he is, but I love the idea of him just trying his absolute best to stifle anyway lol

[dwaekki]

Aww, I hope that Connor re earns Felix's trust soon because I feel so sorry watching (reading) him leaving alone, especailly when he is as sick as this. Can't wait to see what happens next 💕

[Privatedancer]

I love this and look Forward to learning more about why Connor broke up.

[Alabaster]

I didn’t want it to end! Cmon Connor, let’s get some pushy caretaking in

[Sitruuna]

4 hours ago, GraySkies said:

 Haha I am SO glad you think so. Personally, that specific element of colds is one of my personal favorite, but I know some people don't love the messy side.

well I absolutely do; the more, the better 😅

great update 👌🏻

[GraySkies]

The next part 🙂This chapter's a little different, in that it's mostly takes place during a flashback, but I wanted to give insight into Connor and Felix's relationship before they broke up. It also gave me the opportunity to play around with allergy sneezes, which I never do. 

 

Felix drags his body into his house, shuts the door, and immediately sneezes. Sniffling, he drops his keys on the console table. And sneezes again. And again. 

He determines he is ridiculously sick.

Felix doesn’t mind living alone, often finding peace and comfort in the solitude. He loves not worrying about the volume of his TV or having to wear headphones to listen to music and audiobooks. He also now realizes another major benefit of this arrangement. He can sneeze as much as he wants, as loudly as he wants, wherever he wants. 

He stands in the hallway, his right hand braced against the wall, while his left hand fans the air in front of his face.

“HEEH!! Heh Heh Heeeh! 

He feels tears leaking down his face, but wiping them away is the last thought on his mind. He waves his hand faster in front of his face. He bends forward, chest heaving, feeling the itch build and build and build until —

 “HEEEEH-TCHUUUUUUH!”

And barely a second later,

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAH-TCCCHHUUUUUHHHH!”

The sneezes had snapped him forward and he still stands, hands on his knees, trying to regulate his breathing. He’s not happy by that dramatic performance his body just put on. He tries not to think about the mess he’d expelled that had dangled precariously in strands from his nose until landing straight onto the floor. He cleans it up and works on repressing the memory as best he can. 

He grabs his soft, sage green throw from the couch and wraps it tightly around himself and walks to what he, personally, refers to as Reggie’s room. The room, of course, holds more than just his green tree python.  He looks around at his bookshelves lining the walls, his plethora of house plants, and settles into his favorite oversized armchair. He stretches out, still cocooned by the blanket, with his legs on the ottoman. He turns on an audiobook from his phone that he’s listened to several times before and instantly feels himself starting to decompress. He watches Reggie, who, being mostly nocturnal, is sleeping, curled up around his branch. Felix’s own eyes feel heavy at the moment. 

In this state, sleepy and feeling reminiscent after his encounter with Connor, Felix finds himself lost in a memory.

***
One year ago

“Felix, I love you. You know I love you, but can you please get a normal pet? You know, like a cat, or a dog? Or even a hamster? Or chinchilla? Or a fish, maybe? I just… Sweetheart, I don’t get why it has to be a python. Can it just be anything else?” Connor whines, as they sit on the couch with Felix showing Connor pictures of the type of snake he wants to purchase.

“Hmmm, you know, I have considered the possibility of getting a rhinoceros iguana. So, if you’d prefer, I can get one of those,” Felix says, already pulling up a picture of the large, horned creature. “Look, babe! Look at this beautiful boy and tell me you don’t want him in our lives!” 

Connor, nose scrunched, brows furrowed, certainly does not appear in agreement with Felix. “Um, so, it’s just that it’s big. And creepy. God, I hate it,” Connor says, still disgusted.

“Well, Connor, you should be more open minded. At least, with the rhinocerous iguana, we’d only have to feed it vegetables.”

“So,” Connor begins hesitantly, “I almost hate to ask, but what would we have to feed the python?”

Felix smiles. “Well, mice obviously. And rats,” Felix states matter-of-factly, and then laughs as Connor starts gagging.

“I mean the rats won’t be alive, Connor. They get humanely euthanized and are frozen and sold at pet stores,” Felix explains, but upon seeing Connor’s impression, it’s clear the idea of the snake eating a frozen rat doesn't make him feel any less sick at the thought.

“What’s wrong with a cat?” Connor, once again, asks. “I mean, I know you like cats. You literally agreed to cat-sit next week for Shauna.”

“Nothing is wrong with cats. Cats are fine.  But….snakes, babe. Or iguanas! Those are so much cooler than your typical cat or dog.” Felix explains, but starts laughing as he sees Connor’s expression.. “Listen, let’s just see how it goes with Shauna’s cat next week, okay? She’ll be gone for a whole week, so our time with Mushroom can be, let’s say, a trial run. If things go well, I’ll consider getting a cat instead of a snake.”

Connor looks much more hopeful at this prospect. “Felix, I’m going to make sure you have the very best week of your life with Shauna’s cat. Just wait and see. I promise, you’ll see how fun it’ll be to have a cat. Much, much better than a snake.”
_____

A week later, Felix finds himself, indeed, having the time of his life running around the living room, dragging a stick with a feather on it across the ground while Mushroom runs after it. 
“Connor, I think Mushroom is officially my best friend. I can’t give him back to Shauna. We’ll have to flee the city with Mushroom and find a new friend to replace her,” Felix jokes, looking over at Connor, who is wiping his nose for what must be the fiftieth time in the past two hours. “Are you all right, babe? You’ve been really sniffly.”

Connor clears his throat. Then clears his throat again since the first time evidently didn’t do the job well enough. “I don’t know why my nose keeps running, but I feel fine,” he says, letting out a small blow into his tissues. 

“I hope you’re not getting a cold,” Felix says, frowning, setting down the cat toy. He walks over to Connor, who’s on the couch, and presses his hand against Connor’s forehead.

Connor smiles, but gently removes Felix’s hand. “I’m not sick, sweetie. I’ve told you, I don’t get things like colds.”

“Right, because you’re too manly to catch a cold,” Felix says, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t know what it is, but I just don’t get them. I can’t remember the last time I had one. I mean, I think, maybe it was, like, five years ago. But, even then I’m not sure if it was actually a cold, it was so mild.”

Felix narrows his eyes. “You realize saying things like that will make people hate you, right?” 

Connor laughs, but then quickly pulls a tissue up to cover his mouth and nose.

“Heh’tssshiew!” 

“Bless you! Should we get some medicine? Or soup? Or tea? Or, like, something? I don’t know what sick people like to do,” Felix says, feeling puzzled, having never been in a situation of having to take care of someone before. As for his own illnesses or ailments, he’d just ignore them, continuing on as normal, until they went away.

Connor lets out  a chuckle. “You don’t have to worry about any of that. There’s no n-neeeeeeed heh! No need to do any of that because I’m not sick. I’m just itchy,” Connor explains, rubbing his throat. “My throat is killing me. It doesn’t hurt, but it itches really badly. All over. Even my freaking ears are itching.”

“Hmm….” Felix hums. “Maybe it’s Mushroom. I mean, how much experience, exactly, have you had with cats?” he ask, carefully.

“Hehh’tsshiew!” Connor sneezes, as he wipes his nose, yet again. “I’m not allergic to cats. I don’t have allergies,” he says, stubborn as ever. “I’ve been around cats before. I mean, it’s been, I guess for a while at this point, but I don’t remember any sneezing or sniffling.  I’ve never been allergic to anything.”

“Right. You ‘don’t get sick’ and ‘you’re not allergic to anything. And, yet you’re — oh god, bless you! —” Felix exclaims, as Connor lets out a particularly wet sneeze into his tissue. “And yet you’re sniffling and sneezing like crazy. It’s got to be one or the other, babe,” Felix says, rolling his eyes.

“I’m fine,” Connor repeats, clearly ready to die on this particular hill.
_____

By the time evening comes, it is clear that Connor is as “fine” as he is “straight.” 

“Heh’shhiieewww! Heh’tshiew! Heh-tchhooooo! Heh? Hehhhh? Heh! Hehh-T’CHOOO!”

Felix grimaces as he watches Connor lying next to him in bed, appearing as though he’s going to never stop sneezing. It’s only 7 pm, but Connor couldn’t pay any attention to the movie they’d been watching in the living room. The few minutes he could go without a sneeze, Felix would notice Connor’s eyes slipping shut. It was clear Connor was exhausted and desperately needed rest. Felix feigned feeling tired, himself, and begged Connor to come lie down with him in the bedroom to finish the movie. The plan would have gone flawlessly if it weren’t for Mushroom. The fluffy, gray cat trailed right behind him and Connor and jumped right into bed with them. 

 There is a wastebasket next on Connor’s side of the bed that is full to the brim with used tissues since  Connor’s nose is in a constant state of leaking. Felix wouldn’t mention it to him, but no matter how much he blows or wipes, every time Felix looks at Connor’s nose, his nostrils glisten with the mucus he clearly is helpless to keep up with. His nose, itself, is an alarming shade of red. Felix notes that it’s not just the nostrils that are red either — the thing, in its entirety, is red from the very top, all the way down and also appears slightly swollen.

Felix looks over at Mushroom, who’s been nestled into the crook of Connor’s arm for the past hour.

“Connor…. I think, maybe, you should let me take the cat into a different room. I know you say you’re not allergic, but you definitely look allergic.  I mean, babe, there are tears streaming down your face and it looks like you can hardly hold your eyes open.”

“I’m not heh’tshiieeeww! Heh’tshiew! T’shieewww! T’shieww! Hetchooooo!”

“It looks like you’re a bit too preoccupied to finish your sentence, so let me give you some assistance,” Felix begins. “I believe you were going to say ‘I’m not going to keep up this ridiculous facade anymore because it’s painfully obvious that I’m allergic to cats. Like, possibly, severely allergic, even.’”

“I’m not aller-allergiihhhHHH- heh-t’shiew! Heh-t’shiew! Heh-t’shiew!” Connor sneezes, tucking each one neatly into his tissues.

“Okay, babe, again, no worries, I’ve got you. You were going to say ‘I’m not allergic to snakes, so that’s why you and I, Felix, are going to go to the pet store this weekend and pick out a beautiful green tree python,’” Felix says, smiling wide. 

“God, no. There’s no way this week is ending with you getting a snake. The cat is perfectly fine. I think maybe I am getting a cold. That’s all this is. I’ll feel better in a few days,” he determines, but Felix can hear the statement lacking Connor’s typical confidence.
___

A few days later, Connor’s not gotten even slightly better. Felix knows from Connor’s bloodshot eyes and the way Connor is frequently reaching up to scrub at every party of his face, as well as his ears and throat, that Connor’s body is reacting from some kind of allergen. The obvious culprit being Mushroom, who has bonded with Connor and stubbornly clings to him, regardless of how much Felix tries to redirect Mushroom to something else.

They’re sitting on the couch, with the cat, of course, lying on Connor’s lap. Connor’s hands, once again, reach up to vigorously scrub at his eyes. He’d given up on wearing his glasses hours ago and tears are streaming down his face. He keeps one hand rubbing his eyes, while he shifts the other hand to rubbing his nose. Light, little coughs are coming from him every few minutes.

Felix frowns, looking at his boyfriend. “That ‘cold’ of yours really doesn’t seem to be getting any better. How are you feeling?”

“Heh-t’shiew! I’m fine,” Connor says, voice rough, cutting off at the end as he starts to clear his throat with more coughs. “It’ll pass soon,” Connor states, simply.

“Yeah, my guess is on Friday,” Felix can’t resist commenting, since Friday is when Shauna will be picking up the cat.

Connor narrows his eyes. “Yeah, maybe. Since, you know, colds usually last a week. And by Friday, it’ll be a week since my symptoms started.”

“Right,” Connor responds, dryly. “Just for curiosity’s sake, can you indulge me a little, and tell me how you feel when you’re at your own apartment?” Felix asks, since Connor works as an author — and as a freelance editor on the side — and spends most of the day working at his own apartment, then coming home to Felix’s house after Felix is done with work. “I mean, are you still a leaky mess there, too, or….” Felix trails off, sending Connor a knowing smile.

“I’m not a ‘leaky’ mess. I’m not any kind of mess, Felix. And I’m not going to even dignify your question with a response.”

“Right, of course you’re not,” Felix says sighing, feeling exasperated.
___

Later that night, in bed, Connor is a dripping, sneezing, itchy disaster. Any attempt at conversation is immediately impeded by Connor sneezing.

“Hey, babe,” Felix starts, smiling at Connor softly. “You realize it’s okay if you're allergic to cats, right? I won’t get a snake if you really feel that uncomfortable being around one. I’ll be fine with any pet. But, uh, just maybe not a cat because of, well, you know,” he says, gesturing as the very sniffly Connor.

Connor meets Felix’s gaze and the expression there is simply so comically pitiful, Felix almost laughs, but he’s able to suppress it. Connor looks down at the curled up Mushroom on his stomach, sniffles, then sighs. 

“I think maybe, uh… I might agree that it’d be a bad idea to get a cat,” he admits, his voice absolutely wrecked by congestion. 

“Do you?” Felix teases.

Connor is unable to answer — not that a response is necessary at this point — because he is too busy lurching forward into a set of sneezes. Felix, feeling simultaneously concerned and impressed , finds himself counting each sneeze. Connor finally stops after twelve. Twelve consecutive, desperate sneezes.

Connor sniffles, the sounds thick and wet, and lets his body sink further into the bed. “Fine! Just…Ugh, fine. Felix, please, please, get this cat away from me,” he says, sniffling even more miserably than before, and letting small, throat-clearing coughs.

“But, Connor, why?” Felix gasps, feigning shock. “I thought you wanted me to get a cat because cats are ‘much, much better’ than snakes! Why would I take away poor little Shroomy here, then?” Felix taunts. 

“Beecaaauussseee he-heeeee HAHHH-HE’TCHIEW! HE’TCHIIEEWWW! HE’ITCHOOO! CHOO! CHOO! CHOO! T’CHIEW! T’CHIEW! T’CHIEW! HAH’TCHIIIEEEEWWWW-T’CHIEW-T’CHIEW-T’CHIEEW!!”

Felix would love to continue teasing Connor until he admits he was being an obstinate idiot, and is, indeed, allergic to cats. But, unfortunately, he loves Connor and, currently, his sneezes are coming out over top of each other, as though they’re in a fight for which gets to come out first; he’s clearly fighting to get a breath in. So, Felix, deciding to not let his boyfriend die from cat poisoning, sighs, gets up, and walks over to Connor’s side of the bed to remove the poor cat.

“God, Felix, th-thaaankkk heh? Thanks’shieeeeww!” 

—
It’s Saturday and Connor —who somehow mysteriously recovered from his “cold” almost as soon as Shauna picked up Mushroom— is driving them to their local pet store. Felix decided to get a fish, since there’d be no risk of Connor being allergic and it holds no risk of being “too creepy.” He’s done research on the types of fish with the longest lifespans and of the best type of tank to buy and is excited to finally look at his options in an actual store. But as he’s watching out the window, he notices Connor is going in a different direction than the pet store they’d settled on.

“Uh, babe, do I need to put the directions in Google maps? You’re going in, like, the completely wrong direction,” Felix says, brows furrowed, as they continue on the wrong route.

“Nope. No need. Trust me, we’re going to the right place.”

Felix narrows his eyes. “Connor, am I becoming a victim of abduction right now? Tell me the truth. Are you about to drive me to a far off location so you can slaughter me?” he asks, only-half joking because where is Connor taking him?
Connor’s brows furrow as his eyes flicker momentarily off the road to look at Felix. “You know, this is exactly why I tell you watching true crime is bad for you. But, no, I’m not taking you somewhere to slaughter you. That, honestly, sounds like a lot of effort that I simply don’t have.” 

Felix laughs. “I’m really glad to hear the reason you can never be a serial killer is because you’re too lazy. But, seriously, where are we going? Because it’s definitely not the pet store.”

“All right, Felix, you need to relax, okay? I’m trying to do something romantic and you’re, instead, making me feel like I’ve kidnapped you. Just trust me, sweetheart.”

So Felix did because he always trusted Connor, jokes about serial killing aside.

In the end, an hour long drive later, Felix does find himself at a pet store. But it’s not the one they’d discussed. It’s, instead, a reptile-only pet store. Felix’s eyes widen when he realizes.

“Babe, no, we can’t — you, you hate snakes. And lizards. And iguanas. I’m fine with a fish! You know I’m fine with a fish. I don’t want you to have to spend so much time with something you hate,” Felix rambles, but he feels his heart warm at the thought of Connor giving him this surprise.

“Honey, you’re getting a snake, okay? You deserve a snake. Or a rhinoceros iguana, or whatever else you want. But we’re not leaving until you pick out some sort of reptile, all right? As much as it pains me to admit, you are simply meant to be a reptile dad. It’s my fault, really, when you think about it, for falling in love with you,” he says, sighing. “It was always going to end this way,” he says, shaking his head, looking out the window with an exaggerated forlorn expression.

Felix had felt the excitement bubbling up as soon as Connor started speaking and, now, can’t contain it as he awkwardly maneuvers himself over the center console. He tenderly cups Connor’s jaw before leaning in to kiss him, feeling luckier than he’d ever imagined being.

***
Present Day

Felix smiles as he reflects on that week. Not only had Connor acquiesced to Felix getting a snake, Felix had also found the state Connor was in that week rather endearing. Connor’s 6 '4, muscular frame seemed to have fooled Connor into thinking he was too strong and tough to be taken down by something like allergies. But taken down he was. He’d isolated himself in the bedroom the whole week they’d watched the cat. Even away from the cat, Connor wasn’t safe from its allergic effects. Felix found the sight of Connor sneezing…oddly compelling. He’d seen plenty of sneezes before in his life and never gave them any thought. But watching Connor —who’d sometimes sneeze so forcefully, his glasses would fall off — completely lose himself to his sneezing fits, had often entranced Felix. Felix struggled discerning if he wanted to tuck him under the covers and feed him Benadryl, or kiss him. He’d just been so cute. Connor has always been fastidious and extremely-well put together. This was still evident in the way he’d sneeze in a tissue, every single time, ensuring to wrap the tissue fully around his nose to keep any spray from being released; it was also in how he’d dispose of the tissues into the wastebasket without fail. But there was also a loss of control when he was unable to deny his body’s response to the allergens around him. Seeing him in the throes of an allergy attack was Felix’s first glimpse at any hint of vulnerability in Connor. 

Felix shifts in his armchair, pulling his blanket more tightly around him. He’d wanted to be in this room to be close to Reggie, but hadn’t expected to stay long. But, now, as he feels fatigue settle over his body, he wonders how he’s going to summon any energy to get up. He plucks a tissue from the box he’d brought with him and begins the increasingly difficult job of clearing out his nose. 

The audiobook continues playing softly next to him, but Felix’s attention is elsewhere. Images of how Connor looked in the bookstore flitter through his mind. Connor has always been attractive. His regular workouts lend him an admirable physique and his dark blonde hair is short, but thick with enough texture to give it an effortless style. The glasses he wears— rectangular, with muted brown and amber tones — were picked for functionality with fashion or style being the last thing on Connor’s mind when he’d chosen them. Felix, though, always thought they suited him well and had loved the softness they’d added to his features. This, combined with Connor’s tendency to wear simple, practical clothes made the, otherwise, intimidating man look slightly more approachable. Felix still can’t comprehend what provoked Connor to ever be interested in Felix. When together, Connor stood tall, confident, and incredibly composed, while Felix was… the opposite of all of that. Today, Connor was as attractive as ever and Felix simply can’t stop thinking about him. 

He wishes he could’ve stayed for coffee, though thinking about it now, Felix is sure he would’ve ordered a tea instead, the pain in his throat only getting worse. He’d wanted to talk to Connor, to hear what he had to say, and if maybe, possibly, Connor would apologize for abruptly moving away for no apparent reason white refusing to accept Felix’s offer of going with him. The chances of an apology, though, are probably low considering Connor hadn’t even let Felix know he was back in town. But, then, Felix remembers what Connor had said during the signing. About regrets. And there had been that expression Connor had directed toward him. An expression, almost, of… longing? Felix could easily have misinterpreted, though, since he’d clearly not been at his best. But, then, why else would Connor want to meet with him for coffee? Or stop his Q&A session to check on him in the bathroom?

He wonders if he should text him now. He never deleted his number, having tried several times, but never being able to commit. He considers it as he watches Reggie, eyes only half open, as the audiobook narrator continues on, until he succumbs to the day’s exhaustion and slips into sleep.
 

[GraySkies]

On 10/15/2024 at 12:57 PM, dwaekki said:

Aww, I hope that Connor re earns Felix's trust soon because I feel so sorry watching (reading) him leaving alone, especailly when he is as sick as this. Can't wait to see what happens next 💕

Listen, it's also killing me to make Felix suffer like this 😅 But the time for comfort and care will come! Eventually lol

On 10/15/2024 at 1:31 PM, Privatedancer said:

I love this and look Forward to learning more about why Connor broke up.

Thank you for commenting! I'm so glad you're interested in where the story's going.

On 10/15/2024 at 2:08 PM, Alabaster said:

I didn’t want it to end! Cmon Connor, let’s get some pushy caretaking in

All in due time lol

On 10/15/2024 at 4:49 PM, Sitruuna said:

well I absolutely do; the more, the better 😅

great update 👌🏻

Same 😅

Thank you!!

[Mrs.Primrose]

I’m really enjoying this story! Especially the depth of character and the variety of sneezing.

[GraySkies]

1 hour ago, Mrs.Primrose said:

I’m really enjoying this story! Especially the depth of character and the variety of sneezing.

Oh, yay! Thanks for letting me know ☺️ I started writing this mostly as a way to get back in the practice of writing. It's crazy (and amazing) to see people are actually reading and gaining some enjoyment from it! It's definitely keeping me motivated to continue writing it. 

[Privatedancer]

Great chapter for filling in the background. Looking forward to ring them met up:)

[GraySkies]

Two updates in one day - how fun! I enjoyed introducing a new character in this part! I apologize, in advance, for any typos. I swear I proofread this, despite the evidence proving otherwise 😅

 

He was disappointed, but not surprised, to have woken up still very much in the throes of the worst cold of his life. He’d managed to pull on an old hoodie and thick, flannel pajama pants, along with his thickest pair of socks. He looks at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and can’t suppress the shudder. He’s never looked worse.

Despite having slept through the entire night, his appearance implies he’s been sleep deprived for a week. There’s dark circles under his eyes. His eyes, themselves, appear slightly swollen. He should’ve washed his hair yesterday, but the mere thought of standing in the shower for any length of time exhausted him. So, now it hangs in limp, greasy waves.

Then, there’s his nose.

Felix knows he blew his nose a lot yesterday. He remembers reaching up to rub and wipe it with tissues, and, of course, there were all times he’d use his flannel. He’d also used a fair amount of cheap toilet paper. So, he knows, logically, he shouldn’t be surprised at the state his nose is in. But, still, it’s different actually seeing it.

The edges of his nostrils are inflamed and not only are they red —  the skin is chapped and peeling, and not just a little bit of peeling, either. Anyone who looked at his nose would know instantly that it is full of  a vicious cold virus multiplying and spreading inside of it. The skin between his nose and upper lip are blotchy and just as irritated looking. Even now, he can see a sheen of moisture on the inner edges of his nostrils threatening to spill out. The tip of his nose — a bright shining red that contrasted with his particularly pale pallor, stands out as especially noticeable. He watches as the nostrils flare until he finds himself bending over.

“Hnnngkkk-SHHFFFF!”

“Oh, ow,  what the hell kind of sneeze was that?” he mutters to himself as he rubs at his nose. He then blows his nose — or attempts to do so — but his nasal passages are completely blocked. 

Felix is not used to being this sick and is entirely unequipped for managing the situation. He has no cold medicine and as he thinks about it, he can’t recall ever buying the stuff. He, like most people, hates feeling ill as he tries to go about his day, but he’s never felt compelled to take medicine when he knows it won’t actually cure the virus. He figures waiting it out and ignoring the symptoms until he’s back to normal is the best tactic instead of trying to dull the symptoms with medication that make him feel drowsy. But this cold, as it’s established many times already, is a different kind of beast. One that is begging for all possible reinforcements. Reinforcements that Felix is dismayed to realize has none of.

He walks to his kitchen to look out the window. There is a fair amount of snow already falling down. The snow is expected to fall steadily all day until tonight when it changes to sleet with a drastic drop in temperature. He wants to go to pick up some things at the store, like tissues, canned soup, and medicine. But — due mostly to a car accident he’d been a part of when he was in high school during a bad winter — he goes to great lengths not to drive in any kind of potentially severe weather. He considers ordering through a delivery app, but even that feels wrong, like he’s putting the driver in danger.

He sighs, deciding to tough it out without the assistance of drugs. At least, he gets to spend his entire day in bed. He’s never seen the appeal of napping and can count on one hand how many times he’s partaken in the particular activity since adulthood. But, today, he desires nothing more than allowing his body to do what it needs to recover while he checks out of consciousness.

He starts making coffee with one hand while the other has a tissue pressed against his nose. His phone starts ringing, so he puts everything down checking the name of the caller.

Ben.

He stares at the phone, brows furrowed. Ben doesn’t usually call. He’s always been a texter. 

“Uh, hello….” he answers, hesitantly.

“Felix! Dude, where are you?” Ben asks, tone slightly frantic.

Felix clears his throat, then to his surprise, he begins coughing. Oh my god, please, please let the cough be a fluke, I cannot handle another symptom, Felix thinks, internally groaning.

“Um, I’m at home? Where else would I be? Have you seen the weather?” Felix asks, voice raw and congested.

There’s a long pause.

“Where else would you be? Felix! You’re supposed to help me finish moving. Like, now. Right now. You said you’d be here. I have to be out of this fucking apartment in 4 hours. The new tenants are supposed to move in immediately after I’m out. You know this, dude. I’ve reminded you!”

Felix stands, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That’s next week. Ben, you said you were moving next week,” but as Felix says it, he feels less sure.

“Um, nope, that’s not what I said. No way would I have said the entirely wrong date. You have to come help. You know I have no one else and I can’t do this all on my own,” Ben says, practically begging.

“Ben… I… I can’t help today. I’m sick,” he says, feeling helpless.

He can hear Ben sigh over the phone. “Yeah, I know. I can tell,” he says, voice softening. “You sound like shit. I wouldn’t ask if I had another option.”

“Damn it, Ben, why couldn’t you have gotten this done before the literal last minute?” he asks, feeling his frustration building.

“Because working two jobs doesn’t exactly give me a surplus of free time! Listen, it won’t be so bad. All the major stuff has been moved already. Well, except my bed. But it’s everything else. The boxes and tubs and all that,” he explains.

“Okay, then it’s all packed and ready, right? We just have to load up your SUV and drive over to your new place?” Felix asks, thinking as miserable as he’d feel, it wouldn’t be impossible to achieve.

There’s, yet again, another long pause.

“Ben? Ben please tell me you p-p-packed heh-t’shuhhh! HEH-T’SHUUHHH!” 

Felix feels alarmed as the two congested sneezes trigger a small coughing fit.

“Felix… you all right? Were those supposed to be sneezes?”

“Yeah, the first couple were anyway. Like I told you, I’m sick,” he says, as he reaches for a tissue.

“I know, I just, I’ve never heard you sneeze like that. You usually hold them in. But, okay, I get it. You’re obviously not feeling well. And I’m sorry, but please, can you help? I can’t get it done in time by myself. I’ll buy you pizza or something.”

Felix tries to imagine eating greasy pizza and shakes his head even though Ben obviously can’t see the gesture. “Not pizza,” he says.

“Okay, then, like, chicken noodle soup! I don’t care! I’ll get you anything.” 

Felix rubs his temples. Ben has always been his closest friend since they’d met in preschool. He knows Ben has no one else, with both parents having passed away recently within a year from each other, and no siblings. At this particular point in time, he is Ben’s only actual friend. Ben has an affable personality and gets along with plenty of people at his jobs where he works as a waiter at the local steakhouse and as a barista at the coffee shop. But, without a doubt, there’s not a chance of any of them helping him in this situation.

“Fine, Ben. Fine. But you have to pick me up. I don’t drive in the snow,” he says, knowing full well that Ben is aware of this; he’d been in the passenger seat while Felix had been driving during the car wreck when they were in high school. Ben adapted to driving and riding in cars again without any issues, but Felix never fully recovered from the traumatic experience.

“Yeah, yeah, I do know. Of course I’ll pick you up. Thank you so fucking much, dude. But, yeah, I’ve got to leave now. I’ll see you soon!”

“Okay, but don’t rush. Be careful!”

“I’ll be careful, promise! See you in a bit,” Ben says before hanging up.
_____

“Heh-TSCHUUUHH! Huh-TSHUHH! HEH’TSNGGHH!” 

“Felix, please do me a favor and wait until I’m done moving before you die, okay?”

Felix can’t even respond. Well, with anything except —

“HEH- T’SHUUHHH!”

Ben looks over from where he’s driving the car and rubs the back of his neck. “Oh my god, dude, you’ve got to stop. You’re making me feel like such a dick having you come out like this.”

“HEH-T’SHUUUHHH!”

“I mean it, man. Stop making me feel bad.”

“HEEEHHHH-T’SHUUUUUUUHHHH!” Felix sneezes again, into his elbow, then starts coughing.

“Okay, it’s fine. It’s fine. Everything will be fine. We’ll get you some DayQuil and you’ll be good as new, all right? We’ll stop at the store right up here.”     

“HEH’TSHUUH!”

“Oh my god, I fucking get it, okay? I’m an asshole. You don’t have to keep rubbing it in,” Ben says, frustration seeping into his voice.

“I’m not - heh? - I’m not rubbing anything heehh in,” Felix replies, voice shaky with the urge to sneeze, yet again.

“Yeah, well, you might as well be. I mean, for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve had the quietest little sneezes. And you choose now to start sneezing like a fucking cannon? C’mon. You’re clearly trying to make me feel guilty,” Ben says, but the smile he’s wearing suggests he’s joking.

“Serves you riigghht heh? HEH’TSHUUH!” 

“Yeah, honestly, it probably does,” Ben admits, as he pulls into the parking space of the Dollar General. “Do you want to come in, or….” Ben tails off as Felix holds his head back with his mouth open, trying to find the sneeze he’d lost. “Okay, um, right. You stay in here. I’ll grab you the drugs. What else do you need?” he asks Felix.

“Um, just the DayQuil is fine. I heehhhh wait. Oh, and maybe tissues. Hold on and I’ll give you some cash,” he says, but he still stares upward waiting for the sneeze.

“There’s not a chance I’m taking your money. Buying you cold medicine is literally the very least I can do for you right now.”

“Okay, that’s cool because I don’t think I have my HEEHH’TSNGGHHHH!” he breaks off coughing. “Holy shit. Okay. I was saying I don’t think I have my wallet,” he finishes, sniffling.

Ben grimaces at the aftermath of the sneeze. “Okay, so I’m definitely getting you some tissues.”

Felix nods vigorously, arm held up to his nose. “God, yes, please. Thank you.”

“Yeah man. I’ll be back in a minute,” he says before shutting the door.

_____

“What?” Felix asks, trying to open his eyes, but still feeling half stuck inside of a dream.

“I said I was in there for less than 10 minutes. How did you manage to fall asleep?” Ben asks.

“Um, what?” Felix asks, again, his eyes finally opening, seeing Ben shoving bags into the back seat.

“Okay, just nevermind. Let’s hurry and get this all finished so we can get you back home and in bed, okay. Sound good?”

Felix nods, starting to remember what’s happening. “Yeah, bed sounds good,” he croaks out before coughing.

“Shit, I’m a terrible human being,” Ben says, shaking his head. “First things first, take these,” he says, holding some orange gel capsules out to Felix.

Felix slowly reaches to take the capsules. Ben quickly hands him a bottle of water, which Felix uses to wash the pills down. 

“Okay, good. Good start,” Ben says, as he starts the car. “Now we’ve just got to get to the apartment and I really don’t think it’ll take too long to get everything ready,” he starts, but then glances over at Felix, who’s struggling to untie the plastic bag with the tissue boxes inside. “Well, it might take a little longer than I had thought. But, we’ll manage.”

“‘Kay, I trust you,” Felix says, leaning his head against the window, having given up on rescuing the tissues from their yellow plastic bag prison, deciding to shut his eyes instead.
_____

“Ben, have I ever told you I hate you?” Felix asks as he starts at Ben’s bed with clothes and shoes strewn out all over it.

“Well, Felix, as it so happens, I can recall you telling me that a time or two in the twenty-eight years we’ve known each other.”

“I mean who waits until they have literal hours to move out before packing? I'm surprised your landlord didn't force you to leave days ago. But, Ben, seriously! What is wrong with —” but he can’t finish reprimanding Ben due to the coughs tearing through his throat.

“Felix, we quite honestly do not have time for this. Listen, your job is to sit on this bed and shove stuff into all the tubs and boxes, okay? I literally do not care how it’s organized. I do not care if anything breaks. Just shove them, all right?”

Felix nods, already sitting crisscrossed on the bed.

“And I’m serious about staying on the bed. Right now, you’re staying in here where it’s warm. I’ll deal with hauling everything out to the car. At least until we end up really pressed for time. I promise I’ll do my best to keep you from actually dying, okay?”

Felix looks up and sniffles. “Yeah, fine. I just sit here and shove things into boxes. No problem,” he says, already moving toward a pile of shirts.

The first half hour goes smoothly with Felix packing up the items from Ben’s bedroom. Then, he gets a text.

Connor: Hey, Felix. I apologize if it’s inappropriate to text you. And please feel free to tell me to fuck off if it is. But I want to check in to see how you were feeling. You didn’t look or sound well at all yesterday, so I want to make sure you’re resting and taking it easy. I know it’s not my place anymore. But, could you please indulge me a little so I know you’re okay?

Felix continues staring at a text until Ben throws a shirt at his face. “What the hell?” he asks, glaring at Ben.

“Quit staring at your phone!” 

“I…. I’m sorry. It’s just, Connor texted me,” Felix says.

Ben’s mouth drops open and he stills.

“Connor? Are you sure?”

Felix just stares at him. 

“Okay, yeah, I guess you would know. Um… I want to unpack all of this and hear every detail… but, time crunch and everything, you know?” Ben says, urgently. 

Felix looks back down at his phone.

“Felix! Can you hear me?” Ben asks.

“Yeah, I hear you,” Felix responds, distantly, his fingers already moving to type up a message.

“This is fucking pointless,” Felix hears Ben mutter as he walks out the door.

Felix knows that if he wants to protect himself from any kind of potential hurt Connor may cause to flare up again, he should stay quiet and ignore Connor’s texts. But with the DayQuil in his system and his cold already making his brain murky, he can’t find it within himself to deny himself what he wants.

Felix:  Hi. I’m okay. Stupid Ben is making me help him move because he’s got to be out in a few hours. He doesn’t even have everything packed yet. You know how he is. 🙄 But I’m loaded up on DayQuil right now and I’m starting to feel a bit better.

Connor: Felix, are you joking? You shouldn’t be out, sick or not. The weather’s already getting pretty bad. No one should be out on the roads right now.

Connor:  Please tell me you’re not doing anything outside. You need to rest.

Connor:  I’m going to kill Ben.

Felix tries to text back, but he lacks the energy to think of an adequate response. Instead, he looks at the pile of clothes he packed and just stares at them. A few minutes later, though, his attention is directed to who’s stormed into the room, cheeks red.

“You told on me?” Ben asks, sounding incredulous. 

Felix is confused and continues staring at Ben with his eyebrows furrowed. 

“You’re ex-boyfriend just texted me telling me to take you home before you get pneumonia. What the hell, dude? He doesn’t need to be involved in this!” Ben exclaims. 

Felix feels his cheeks flare with heat. “God, I can’t believe he’d do that. Just ignore the text.”

But then Ben’s phone starts ringing. Ben glances at the phone, then shoves it toward Felix, shaking it, as if to make a point. The screen reads “Dickwad.”

“Huh,” Felix comments, struggling to sift through his muddled thoughts to find an, at least, partially coherent one. “Is that Connor? I didn’t think you had his number, still.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Bigger issues, right now, Felix.”

“Just answer it. Tell him I’m fine,” he says.

Ben stares at him for a moment, then puts the phone on speaker.

“Hey, Connor! It’s been a while, huh? Care to tell me what you’re doing in my business?” Ben says, voice laden with annoyance.

“Your business? It’s not just your business, Ben! I saw the state Felix was in yesterday, and it’s obvious he shouldn’t be anywhere right now except in bed.”

Ben glances over at Felix. “What do you mean you saw him yesterday? Felix didn't tell me that," but it's clear from the silence Connor isn't going to elaborate. "But, anyway, technically he is in bed. It’s just not his own bed. And maybe he’s kind of more on it than in it, but still. Why do you care, anyway?” Ben asks, voice rising. “You fucking ditched him out of nowhere. You spent a year telling him every day you loved him, and then you just left. For no fucking reason, man! And now you’re telling me, the person who’s been by his side for twenty-eight years, how I should act toward him? Who do you think took care of him when you just disappeared, Asshole? I’ve been here the whole time. So don’t waste your breath telling me how I should treat my best friend.”

And with that, Ben hangs up the phone. Ben’s breathing raggedly and his cheeks are flushed. He awkwardly rubs the back of his neck.

“Too abrasive?” Ben asks, as Felix stares at him. 

“Um maybe just a little bit,” Felix admits, but feels warmth spreading through him at the protectiveness of his best friend.

The phone starts ringing again.

“Fuck!” Ben exclaims before answering it.

“Ben, look — Everything you said. You’re right, okay. I’m not going to argue with you. Can you just tell me how Felix is doing right now?”

Felix sits on the bed, frowning at the snot he’d just rubbed onto his sleeve.

“Uh, he’s … fine. Totally fine,” Ben says, voice unsteady.

“Really?”

“I mean, he’s got a bit of a cold, you know? But, yeah, he’s fine,” Ben says, again, looking at Felix as Felix continues to rub his nose with his sleeve.

Felix feels an intense tickle spread throughout his sinuses. He gasps so hard, he starts coughing. But even with the coughing, the sneezes still come.

“Hhhuh-RRSSHHHuh! HHHUHHH-RRSSHHHHHHEWWW!!” Coughs wrack his chest as he bends forward again. “HUH-RRRRRSHHgknt’SHEEWW!” 

Ben stares at him, eyes closed, as though he knows what’s coming.

“Ben, that doesn’t sound fine,” Connor’s voice says harshly from the phone’s speaker.

Ben runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, man, okay. He’s sick. I made him take some DayQuil, and he’s a little better than he was. But yeah, this cold’s definitely hitting him pretty hard. I’ve honestly never seen him like this. I just didn’t know what else to do. You know, normally I’d ask my dad, but…. Fuck. I just don’t have anyone else, okay? I’m doing my best to make sure he stays inside and does minimal activity. But we have to get it done quickly. The new tenants are moving in soon. But, I mean, at this point, I don’t even care. They can just fucking wait,” he finally finishes.

Felix hears Ben sighing over the phone. “Okay, listen, I’m coming over to help. I’m about twenty minutes away from you. We’ll get it done much faster with three people helping.”

Felix takes in a deep breath, then — “Huh-RRGGG’SHEEWWWW!”

“I’m going to be honest. I think Felix counts as, at best, half a person right now,” Ben says, staring at Felix with an expression that’s a mixture of sympathy and disgust.

Felix is surprised to hear Connor laugh. “Yeah, if he’s anywhere as bad as yesterday, I think it’s safe to say he’s useless. Listen, I’ll be there soon.”

“Fine. Thanks, Connor. I’m sorry, again, about, you know…. The stuff I said.”

“Don’t apologize for that, Ben. I’m glad Felix has you in his life. I’m leaving now, okay? See you in a bit.”

“Yeah, okay bye,” Ben says, before setting his phone down.

Felix’s eyes have grown increasingly heavy during Ben and Connor’s conversation. He heard the worse they were saying, but processed only about half of it. He’ll ask Ben about what’s going on in a minute. Right now, he just needs to rest his eyes for a moment. He allows his body to sink into the soft bed as he pulls up the closest material he can find over his body. He remembers he’s supposed to be helping Ben move. But he will help. 

After he closes his eyes for a few minutes.