"Terry and Korvo Have a Big Fight In The Bedroom" (Solar Opposites, M, Terry and Korvo with colds) One-Shot

[SleepingPhlox]

I'm still gonna Solar Opposites all over the place over here, even if it's a party of one.    This is a direct sequel to THIS FIC, it picks directly up where that one left off. 

Summary:  Terry got sick taking care of Korvo, and Korvo's solution is robots.

Warning for language if that sort of thing bothers you.  These guys love their swears.

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Korvo froze involuntarily when he saw Terry sitting at the kitchen table, a picture of exhaustion and mucus and all that sort of thing. He recognised what the situation must be immediately, but his mind stumbled over what exactly to do with that information. He was sure he was supposed to say something or do something but...what? He wasn't good at comforting people or knowing what to do in this kind of situation...or any kind of situation, if he was being honest. He usually just left this sort of thing to people who were better equipped to deal with it. But, right now, there were no other options, and it fell on him whether he liked it or not.

“Uh...” he began and then gritted his teeth, and paused for what felt like an eternity. He needed to say something, but what would be appropriate right now? He settled on demonstrating that he noticed how bad Terry appeared. “Some of your face mucus got on the table.”

Korvo immediately winced at how stupid that sounded. Why was he so bad at putting feelings into words? He was no stranger to feelings, and he could be perfectly articulate when talking about ship repairs or math, and he could put words (mostly of the swear variety, but they still counted as words) to anger or frustration all day long, but anything that required any sort of vulnerability rendered him an idiot.

Terry scowled at Korvo. Seriously? Was this jerk serious right now? Korvo, the guy who had sprayed him with sneezes at every opportunity, who had left wadded up used tissues everywhere he went for the last few days, was going to lecture him about a little bit of snot? The same Korvo who he'd tirelessly taken care of, making sure he was comfortable and stayed hydrated and got fed and didn't have to fight a garbage monster, was going to be a dick about this now? Unlike Korvo,however, Terry had no issue expressing his feelings. He scowled and glared at Korvo with a piercing look that spoke volumes of how he felt right now. Disdain, hurt, disgust, betrayal, they were all there in one simple facial expression.

“Thanks, Korvo,” he spat. “Really appreciate your concern.”

A couple of gooblers erupted from Korvo's head. Okay. He could do this. He could fix this. He could come up with something to say that properly articulated his concern.

“Y-y-you don't need to worry about the chores,” he offered. “I'm feeling better now, I can look after everything. And-and you can go lay down on the couch and rest. M-maybe watch some TV.”

Terry offered a grunt that, by it's tone, appeared to be rejecting the idea.

“No,” he groaned. “I'm gonna do the dishes. Just as soon as I finish my breakfast.”

He picked up his fork weakly, as if it was made of something heavier than stainless steel, dark matter perhaps, and moved it in the direction of his pancakes but didn't go so far as making contact between utensil and food.

“But you love laying on the couch and watching TV,” Korvo protested. “It's one of your favourite things to do!”

“Uh-uh,” Terry mumbled, shaking his head in the negative.

As mildly recovered as Korvo was, he was still exhausted and feeling lousy, which made the already small reserve of patience he had even more miniscule. And it was dangerously close to getting used up.

“Terry, you're clearly sick with the same thing I had and you need to rest. I had to rest to get better, and so do you.”

“No,” Terry whined. “I don't wanna be sick. I hate being sick, Korvo. It's the worst. You can't have any fun. I wanna go shopping and pet some dogs and...and...” He lifted his arm and buried his face in his inner elbow. “Ehhhhtcch! Tchhh! Ehhh...tshhhh!”

“Yeah, well...you can't. And that's just that. Now go lie on the couch!”

“No!”

“Terry, as your mission leader, I order you to go lie on the couch this instant!”

Terry narrowed his eyes, and looked directly and defiantly at Korvo.

“Make me,” he challenged.

“Oh, that is it!” Korvo spat, and marched right over to Terry, grabbing him by one slender green arm and tugging with all his might. Which...wasn't much. He was still weak from being sick, okay? Terry slapped back at him with his free hand, his own efforts just as weak and feeble, and comically missing the mark by a large amount.

“Terry,” Korvo grunted. “Come on. I have to fight you to stop lying around on the couch and being lazy on a daily basis and now that I actually want you to...” he stopped abruptly. “Why are there yellow streaks on the walls? Is that piss? Did you guys waste perfectly good piss while I wasn't awake to keep an eye on you?”

“Oh, that? No, the replicants had a Super Soaker lemonade fight in here.”

“That's okay, then.” He resumed his furious arm-pulling. “Now, come on. All I'm asking you to do is the same exact thing you do every day. Why must you be so difficult?”

“If I go to the couch...where will you be?”

“I'm going to go work on the ship. That was the first thing I said when I came in here.”

“Well then...I want to come work on the ship too!”

Korvo knew fevers did funny things to people, but transforming Terry into someone who would rather come help him with repairs than sit on the couch was bordering on ridiculous. And, as much as he'd been wishing for this day to come since...since they'd crashed here, really...today would not be the day that dream came true.

“Terry, I-I-I would love nothing more than to share the experience of working on the ship and bonding over science with you. But you're sick, you're not thinking straight, and you wouldn't be any use to me. Please, j-just go rest on the couch and I promise when you're better, you can help me with the ship as much as you want.”

“Okay...as long as you promise,” Terry sulked with a sniffle. But, he made no effort to move, and neither did Korvo. “You're going to...to...ehhhtchhh!...tchhh!...you're going to stand there and watch me until I do, aren't you?”

Terry peeled himself from his seat, every movement laborious and slow thanks to the heaviness in his body (and he might have been exaggerating slightly for effect and attention), and trudged with shoulders drooping and arms hanging limply in front of him all the way to the sofa, which he flopped down upon with a groan.

Korvo sighed in relief. Now with that out of the way, he could get back to the ship. He'd neglected his work the past couple of days. Or past few days? Time had gotten really fuzzy while he'd been sick. Anyway, it was time to get back to life as normal.

He was halfway up the stairs when he was interrupted.

“Korrrvooooo,” Terry whined. “Can you get me a blanket? I'm cold.”

He couldn't exactly fault that. It was a reasonable request. And it meant Terry was going to be resting as ordered which was exactly what he wanted, after all. So, without a single complaint, not even silently in his head, he retrieved the duvet from the bedroom and spread it out over Terry. There was even something rather endearing about the way Terry grabbed it and pulled it up to his chin and snuggled into it with his wide mouth turned up into a sleepy smile. Now that Terry was cozy and happy, he could get back to the ship.

Korvo was halfway up the stairs when he was interrupted again.

“Korrrvooooo! I need a pillow!”

Korvo's eye twitched.

“Why didn't you ask for that at the same time as the blanket? Both things were in the same place!” he complained.

“I didn't think of it before. Please, can I have a pillow? I can't sleep without a pillow.”

“Fine,” Korvo growled through gritted teeth, and stomped upstairs to retrieve the pillow and bring it back down.

“Lift your head,” he ordered, squeezing the pillow between Terry's green dome and the couch. “There, is that okay? Now, before I walk away, do you need anything else?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?.”

“Yeah, I'm sure.”

“Are you sure you're sure?”

“Korvo! I swear, I'm sure.”

Korvo was halfway up the stairs when he was interrupted yet again.

“Korrrvooooooo! Can you get me a glass of water?”

Korvo didn't even bother getting annoyed. This one was on him for not expecting it. Down the stairs again, into the kitchen, where he poured not just a glass, but also a jug, of water for Terry. He set it down silently. He didn't bother asking if Terry needed anything else. That would be an exercise in futility. He returned to the stairs, pausing at the halfway point expecting his name to ring through the air in Terry's weak, raspy voice.

Yet, somehow, this time he was allowed to continue on. He waited a few extra seconds just to be sure he wouldn't be summoned again, and when he was met with only silence, he continued on up to the ship.

********

Korvo stared at the pieces strewn across the table, trying to make sense of anything. They were exactly where he'd left them the last time he was up here, that wasn't the problem. The problem was, what the hell had he been thinking when he'd done all of this? There was a manual there, but it was entirely the wrong one. Why had he decided to take apart this particular component, and why had he taken it apart so thoroughly that every individual gear and spring had been separated? What had he been trying to do? The big thing for the last couple of months was getting the stabilizers back online and this had nothing to do with them at all, not even tangentially.

That fever had really fucked him up and fucked him over, hadn't it?

He sighed, rested his head in his hands, and tried his best to recall any memory at all that would help him understand what was going on here. Until he heard...

“Hey, Korvs,” then a few coughs. “What'cha doing?”

“Trying to figure out...hey! What are you doing up here? I thought I ordered you to rest.”

“Yeah, I rested. I feel-” More coughing. “So much better now. And you said I could help you after I rested and got better.”

“Terry, it's been like half an hour. You have not sufficiently rested or recovered.”

“Yeah-huh. I...I...hehhtshhhh!...hihhsssshh!...ihhhtchhhh!...I feel awesobe. Cobe od, Korvo, I cad ha'd you tools, or tell you stories to bake the tibe pass quicker.”

“Tell me stories? I can barely understand you, Terry. Now out!” Korvo stood up and pointed to the ships door dramatically. “Go rest!”

Terry sighed and trudged droopily out of the ship, and disappeared.

********

Korvo blinked his eyes to re-moisten them after staring at the tiny rod he'd been trying to thread through the tiny gear with little success. He leaned back in his seat, rubbed his eyes...and then remembered the magnifier. The magnifier that he could have been using all this time. Goddamn it! He really was off his game. He got up, got the magnifier from the cabinet it was stored in, and then yelped and fumbled it when he turned around to come face to face with Terry's heavy-lidded, dark-circled, vacantly staring eyes. Korvo managed to keep the magnifier from crashing to the floor at the last moment.

“Terry! Wh-wh-what are you doing in here?”

“I want to go shopping, Korvo. I saw a commercial and the mall is doing a thing where if you buy ten slushies in the food court, you get a coupon for five dollars you can spend at any store. I want that coupon.”

“You can go shopping when you're better. Go rest.”

“Korvo, I want that coupon! You don't understand what this means to me! I need it!”

“That's it,” Korvo said. “You know what? I don't want you resting on the couch any more.”

“Really, Korvy? Thank-”

“You're going to rest in bed, where there's no TV, so you can't see any stupid commercials to put stupid ideas into your head!”

“Wait! No! That's boring! Korvo, please! I'll go to the couch and rest. I'll close my eyes and plug my ears during the commericals.”

“Too late,” Korvo growled. “You're going to bed, and I'm going to march you there to make sure you do it.”

Terry whimpered, but Korvo made good on his threat. No amount of protesting, nor complaining, nor puppy dog eyes worked to make Korvo change his mind. Terry was left in the stifling silence of the otherwise empty bedroom.

And Korvo? Korvo had a plan.

********

Korvo found that bringing his magnificent plan into fruition was a welcome break from trying to figure out the mess of parts on the table. Unveiling it was a little underwhelming, he'd expected Terry to still be annoyingly fighting the order to rest, not fast asleep for the grand reveal, snoring from the congestion that had settled in his head and chest. Korvo had to shake him awake. But that was only a small blip in the plan.

“Ta-daa!”

“Korvo, what the fuck?”

“You have to look at where I'm gesturing to, Terry.”

“Oh, right.” Terry followed Korvo's arms to his hands and down to the tips of his fingers, and... “Nope, I'm right back to 'what the fuck?'”

“It's your own personal nurse-bot.” Korvo exclaimed, barely able to conceal his proud delight. “It's going to look after you and provide you with everything you need to get better, and most importantly, enforce the rest period you require for your recovery. Pretty sweet, huh?”

Terry rolled his eyes and sat up, swinging his legs off the edge of the bed. “Pretty stupid, more like,” he scoffed, and coughed. “No thanks. I don't want it...ehhhtchhh!...hehhtshhhh!”

The next sound from Terry was a yelp as one of the robots retractable arms extended, caught him on the chest and forced him back down onto the bed.

“Korvo!” Terry exclaimed. “Not to get too repetitive here, but what the fuck?”

“Patient Terry may not leave the bed area,” the robot whirred calmly. “Patient Terry's body temperature is three point two degrees above normal. Patient Terry's nasal passages are congested.” A frighteningly strong metallic hand clamped a tissue over Terry's face. “Patient Terry must expel nasal mucus.”

“Korvo!” Terry bellowed from behind the tissue. “Make it stop doing that!”

“Patient Terry must expel nasal mucus,” the robot repeated.

“Korvo!”

Korvo looked mildly hurt at Terry's protests. “It's designed to meet every need you could possibly have,” he huffed. “I created the perfect caretaker for you. Just do what it says, and it will stop.”

“Patient Terry must expel nasal mucus,” the robot repeated.

Terry groaned, but complied.

“See?” Korvo said cheerfully, clasping his hands in front of him. “All you have to do is let the nurse-bot take care of you and you'll be better in no time, and then we can work on the ship together just like you said you wanted to, for hours and hours and hours!”

********

Terry sat in the bed, arms folded, scowl across his face. Korvo had pulled some serious dick moves before, but this might just be the dickest move of all. When he got out of this room – if he ever got out of this room – he was never going to speak to that blue asshole ever again for the rest of his life.

“Hey, stupid robot,” he grumbled. “Let me out of here, I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Negative. Patient Terry does not 'go to the bathroom'.”

“I want to get a drink of water.”

The robot shook, whirred, dinged, and then opened a compartment to reveal a glass of fresh water.

“Patient Terry may drink this water.”

Okay. The thing couldn't hold infinite water. It only had so much space in there, right? So if he kept asking for glasses of water, it would have to either let him out to get it, or go to the kitchen to get more, which would allow him to sneak out of the window or go up to the ship and punch Korvo in the face for doing this to him.

“Hey, stupid robot, give me another glass of water.”

A retractable arm whizzed out to grab the glass. It shoved the glass back into it's compartment and refilled it.

“Hey, robot. Say 'Korvo fucking sucks' real quick.”

“Korvo is amazing. Korvo is the best.”

“What? That's not what I told you to say.”

“My creator anticipated that you would try something like that. He programmed me accordingly with a suitable response.”

Terry groaned and let his head flop back onto his pillow.  He might not be able to get the robot to say that Korvo fucking sucked, but nothing could stop him from thinking it.

*******

It felt as if hours had passed. Maybe even days. Maybe only fifteen minutes. Who the hell knew? The boredom and loneliness of being trapped in a room with no TV, no phone, and a robot that resisted all attempts at conversation destroyed Terry's sense of time. He'd resorted to simply lying on his side, staring at the wall, alternating between feeling despondent and rehearsing all the ways he was going to tell Korvo to fuck himself once he got out of here.

“Hey, robot? Can I go get my phone? Can you just please let me go get my phone so I don't die of boredom?”

“Negative. Patient Terry may not leave this room.”

“Then can you go get it for me?”

“Negative. I must stay with Patient Terry at all times.”

Terry groaned as loudly as he could, momentarily forgetting that his throat was raw and on fire, then whimpering when sudden intense pain reminded him.

“Please?” Terry croaked, a sudden flash of absolute genius having come to him. “It's...an emergency. I need my phone because it's an emergency. You're supposed to take care of my every need, right? Well, I need my phone. Real bad. Or...or...something bad might happen to me. Letting something bad happen to me would totally contradict your programming, right?”

“Oh, an emergency? Why didn't you say so?” A small panel opened on its arm and a little – uh, doohickey? Terry didn't know what it was or what to call it – popped out. “You may speak to Korvo through me in the case of an emergency.”

And sure enough, Korvo's voice came through the little doohickey, a little static-y, but still understandable.

“Terry? Why are you using the emergency communication device? Is everything okay?”

“No it is absolutely not...ehhhTCHHH!...hihhhTCHHH!...ARGH! Let go of my face, you stupid pain in the ass!...everything is not okay. I need you to come here right now. And also bring me my phone.”

********

Korvo arrived in the bedroom as quickly as he could, panting heavily from the rush and also still not being able to breathe through his nasal passages.

“I...got...here...as fast...as I could,” he announced between heavy breaths.

“Do you have my phone?” Terry grumbled.

“Yes. Here. What was the emergency?”

“Fuck you, I'm not talking to you.”

“B-but...you told me to come. You said everything was not okay. D-did I not come fast enough? I don't understand.”

“Yeah, I just wanted my phone and that was the only way to get it. And unless you're going to let me out of here or shut this fucking robot off, I'm not talking to you, you asshole.”

And now Korvo was making his patented kicked-puppy expression. Well, it wasn't going to work. It was going to take a lot more than sad eyes and a wobbling lip to fix this.

“I-I-I-I don't understand why you're mad at me...”

“Oh, you don't? You really don't? You don't think it might have something to do with the fact that I took care of you the whole time you were sick? I made sure you were comfortable and you had everything you needed. I stayed up at night to make sure you were okay when you sounded like you couldn't breathe. I did all the chores so you wouldn't have anything to worry about, I kept the replicants from waking you up when you were resting. I did everything for you! And now that I'm sick, you just locked me in the bedroom with a fucking robot so you don't have to do a single goddamned thing to help me, because you're such a selfish prick that can't even conceive of the possibility of doing anything for anyone else! But hey, other than that, no I can't think of any reason why I'd be mad at you!”

“Selfish?” Korvo exclaimed. “I-I-I designed and built a whole robot for you as fast as I could. And, need I remind you that this the first day I've even been out of bed in...in...you know, I-I-I don't even know how long I was sick in bed for! I'm still not at a hundred percent myself and-and I still took the time to make...you...a...hehhhGHHKHtchuuu!”

Oh, shit.

Korvo's eyes widened as a sudden realisation dawned on him. He attempted to bolt for the door, but it was too late.  The nurse-bot was too fast for him, and had already clamped a hand around his chest before he'd taken a single step, and before he could process what was happening, he had been slammed into the bed. He tried to get back up, and was shoved back down again.

“Unhand me!” he demanded. “There's been a mistake!”

“Patient Korvo's temperature is one-point-three degrees above normal.”

“That is within an acceptable range!”

“According to my programming, it is not. And by Patient Korvo's own admission: 'I'm still not at a hundred percent myself'. Conclusion: Patient Korvo requires bed rest. Patient Korvo may not leave.”

“Sucks to be you, I guess,” Terry scoffed.

********

Every so often, Korvo attempted to break the frosty silence with a tentative “Terry..?” And every time, he was shot down by a “Fuck you, I'm still not talking to you.”

This time, however, instead of retreating back into silence, Korvo decided to try a different tack.

“O-o-okay, fine. You don't have to talk to me. B-but maybe just...listen. I'm...” he took a deep breath. “I'm sorry, Terry. I'm really sorry. I wanted to help you so bad. But nothing I was doing made you happy, so I thought...if I couldn't figure out how to do it, I'd do what I'm actually good at and build something to help.”

Terry softened ever so slightly, but remained quiet.

“I don't know how to take care of somebody when they're sick. I don't have any frame of reference. You taking care of me was the first time...so I wanted to copy what you did. And I knew I spent a lot of time sleeping on the couch and drinking water so I thought if I had you sleep on the couch... I didn't know about all the other stuff and I'm sorry I didn't notice but-”

“It's okay.  You didn't notice because you were sleeping. I get it. You were really sick,” Terry said softly. “Was that really the first time anyone took care of you when you were sick? What about when you were a little replicant?”

“Yeah...uh...my progenitor was very big on teaching me self-sufficiency and not being a worthless drain on society, so...no. I learned how to ignore feeling bad, and keep being productive.”

“Huh. Well...I guess we have more in common than we thought. My progenitor was...well, you might have noticed that I might have gotten a little clingy there...”

“A little? You begged me to let you help fix the ship!”

Terry offered a tentative little smile. “Yeah, being left alone when I'm sick kinda sets off some stuff for me. I didn't know what it was like to be taken care of until...” Oh god, it was still so hard to say her name. Even being here, with a new life on a new planet, with Korvo and the replicants being the best family a guy could ask for, the grief of being separated from the one who should have been his life mate for, well, life still had a way of bringing up some pretty painful grief. He would just skip over actually forming the syllables of her name in his mouth, and hoping Korvo understood. “Everything I know I learned from her.”

“Well, you did a very good job,” Korvo said, putting his hand over Terry's. “Maybe I'll learn too. I really am sorry, Terry. I wanted to make you happy and I should have asked what would make you happy instead of...you know...being such a Korvo about it.” He hoped the attempt at self-deprecating humour would help smooth things over.

“And I should have told you what was going on in my head too.  I'm still upset about the robot thing, but I do get why you did it. Hey, this will be a valuable life lesson if we ever get out of here.” Terry offered Korvo an olive branch of a smile and attempted to lighten the mood with a joke. “Any idea what will make this one go crazy and attack the neighbourhood so we can sneak out while it's distracted?”

“Unfortunately, I learned from that mistake and designed this one with a-” Korvo's face lit up. “I designed it with a power source that plugs directly into the wall! It can't go on a rampage because it's stuck plugged in right over there! Which means...we have a solution to our problem!”

“Well that's perfect. Lets unplug this bitch and get the hell out of here!”

Terry moved to get out of the bed, but Korvo stopped him.

“No, don't! It's also designed to defend itself against that very thing. No, we're going to have to be sneaky. But don't worry, I have an idea.”

Korvo pulled his phone out of his pocket and began composing a text.

Yumyulack, are you currently in the house? -Korvo.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

yeah, y

also stop signing ur name 2 txts like a fucken boomer ffs i know its u

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Are you healthy? -Korvo.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I told u, if u need organs grow them urself u arnt getting mine

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

No, I need you to do something for me.

I am going to text you a specific set of instructions.

Please, stand by. -Korvo.

 

********

“Okay,” Korvo whispered. “The nurse-bot does not pay attention to anyone who isn't sick. But it will react to a threat. We just have to distract it long enough for Yumyulack to sneak in and unplug it. When I touch your hand, act as sick as possible. Make as much noise and commotion as you can. Got it?”

“Got it.”

The door slowly opened and Yumyulack hesitantly peeked in. From Korvo's texts he'd expected something extremely weird to be going on in here, and this was kinda weird, but not as bad as it could be with these two idiots involved. He caught Korvo's eyes, and nodded. Korvo lightly touched Terry's hand under the blanket.

And, it was showtime.

They both erupted into a cacophony of exaggerated coughs and snorts...and Terry could either sneeze on command, or his nasal passages just had very fortuitous timing. The nurse-bot couldn't decide which of them to attend to first, seemed to try to do both at once, and couldn't. While it was busy freaking out over its two patients, Yumyulack snuck in behind it and pulled the plug and in an instant it went from frantically trying to press a tissue to Terry's face and force feed Korvo a glass of water simultaneously to nothing but inert silence.

“Now,” Yumlulack said, letting the plug drop to the floor. “I believe there is the small matter of my payment?”

“Yeah, yeah, you'll get paid,” Korvo grumbled.

“Oof,” Terry complained, rubbing his chest. “All that fake coughing really hurt my throat. HehhhTCHHH!...hihhEHHSHHH!...hihh...tchhh! Ow, fuck, that hurt too.”

“My throat's killing me too,” Korvo said. “I guess I am still a little sicker than I wanted to admit.”

“You know, you were right earlier. I do need to rest and stuff. I just...I don't want to be by myself. Maybe I could come up and watch you work on the ship if I promise not to make any noise and get in your way?”

“No.”

“But-”

“It's become clear to me that I need to rest too. You know, I do remember one thing from when I was sick. I remember waking up on the couch with my head on your chest...and it was so warm and comfortable. Lets bring our pillows and blankets downstairs, and you can sleep on my chest and see what it's like.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah. You took care of me, and I'll take care of you. You just have to promise not to let the commercials get you all worked up.”

“You know what? You have yourself a deal, there, Korvotron.”

THE END