Gesundheit Times Ten (Severance, Mark)

[Lady Blessington]

A/N: Hey swear words ahead!

 

“KXXHHRGT-hooh!”

“There he is,” Petey greets Mark.

Mark’s stalled in the doorway to MDR.  He’s got two fingers jammed up against a warm pink nose.  His chest is heaving.  He’s the last to arrive.

“Wait for it,” Dylan says from his cubicle.

“Hhh-uhhh,” Mark pants.  “HHH-hgggrrhhh…”

“Get some new material,” Dylan calls.

“Aa-HUGK-xhgshshh-get-fucked,” Mark retorts, digging a napkin out of his pocket.  

“Leave the boy alone,” Irving reproaches Dylan.

“He’s a grown-ass man,” Petey says.  “And he’s sick, so have a little gentleness.”

“I’m not sick,” Mark says, and stops to blow his nose.  When he comes up for air he adds, “I’m like, eighty percent sure.”  He frowns at the ruined napkin and tosses it in the trash.

“It’s the elevator allergy,” Dylan agrees.

“No, it’s not.”  Petey’s leaning back in his seat.  “That’s a head cold, sinus infection, some shit like that.”

“You are rather prone to head colds, Mark,” Irving says, getting up to give him the tissues off his desk.  “It could be wise to start stocking tissues at your work station.  Not that I mind sharing.”

“Hhh-hh-hhhhh-hohmygod,” Mark gasps.  He snatches the box out of Irving’s hands and slams a tissue against his face.  “A-TDZZLkh!  A-XXTCHSHH-hooh!”

“I appreciate any opportunity to practice the core principles,” Irving says serenely.  “In this very moment, for example, I’m practicing benevolence and probity.”

Mark has finally made it to his desk.  He sits down heavily, blowing his nose with a roiling crackle.  “I’b keepigg these,” he announces. 

“You know what your problem is, Mark?  Stress,” Petey says.  “You, my good friend, need to chill the fuck out.”

Mark sniffles.  “Jesus.  Blame the victim.”

“I’m serious.  There’s things we control, and things we don’t.  What happens in the break room?  We’re not in charge of that.  Getting sent there in the first place?  Now there, we have a choice.”

Mark blinks at Petey, visibly stung.  

“We tried your way,” Petey says kindly.  “Now try mine.  Stay the fuck out of the break room, Mark.  It’s bad for your health.”  

Petey looks at everyone over their dividers.  “That goes for all of you.  You want to escape?  You can’t escape.  For better or for worse, this is where we are, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

The refiners search each other with their eyes.

“Look, we all want them to see us.  We all want their respect.  Anybody would.  But Cobel, Milchick, Graner.  They don’t get that we’re people.  And we can’t make them.”

The four of them listen to the air conditioner.  

“I see you, okay?  All you dumb fucks.  We can see each other.  So we’re gonna be fine.  You just leave the worrying to me.”

“Hhhhhh… AA-GGDXTCHZXXXTT!”  

Petey tests Mark’s forehead and pats his chest.  “Gesundheit, times ten.  I can’t watch this anymore.  Let’s put you out of your misery, huh?”

“Miss you already,” Dylan tells Mark, eyes on his screen.

“Speedy recovery,” Irving wishes.

Petey brings the tissue box.  They go looking for Milchick.

…

END

 

Edited August 17, 2022 by ice_cream_though

[Prongs]

10/10! I’m so glad I’m not the only one on here who has seen Severance and wanted to see Mark sneeze (especially in episode 1 when he was sniffling, damn it!)

[Lady Blessington]

I KNEW YOU WERE OUT THERE AND I WAS NOT ALONE 🥰