Dr. Horrible is... Where is Dr. Horrible?

[SneeVee]

Hello! This is my first sneezefic. And for my sake, I'm giving Captain Hammer the name of Michael Laymon. I just need to do something about how he doesn't have a name. I also don't own Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog. It would be amazing if I did though. And Captain Hammer and Dr. Horrible are also not canonically together, I just needed to get all of my fanon stuff out. 

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Captain Hammer walked around the streets. Right here was where the newest heist was going to be performed. It wasn't his heist of course, but his nemesis's. He continued to look around.

Still nothing. 

It was quiet. Way too quiet. 

"HNXT!" 

Captain Hammer's head spun to the person that was behind him. That person happened to be exactly who he was looking for. Someone really horrible. Dr. Horrible himself. He looked like the name he gave himself too. Horrible. The man was scrubbing at his nose with the black rubber gloves he now owns. 

"Thad was distgustigg," the man said, obviously congested. His face scrunched up, his hand pinched his nose shut, "HNXXT!" came another stifle.llai 

Captain Hammer looked at the obviously ill villain. He didn't know whether to pity him, or to take him home like that dog he found a month ago. The dog's name is Sparky, it said so on the name tag. It also had  long number with dashes. He wasn't sure what that was about, but either way, a dog was a dog. And the man in front of him was as sick as one.

"HNXT! Huh- he- HNXT!" the doctor, with a PhD in horribleness, nearly toppled over. The whatever-the-hell-it-is ray fell out of his hands and clattered to the floor. Luckily it didn't blow up. 

Blow up.. 

Captain Hammer grumbled, walking over to the villain, "It isn't exactly a fight if I've already won, Horrible," the braindead hero said. He poked the other, causing him to almost fall over. The hero wrapped his strong arms around the frail damsel in distress. Okay, maybe there was no distress. Just uh.. Snot. Not a good look on the villain, really. He took off one of his own black gloves, he didn't know why he even decided to tolerate this dumb villain anymore. He, the hero, of course was better than this disgusting villain. With the black glove in his mouth, he put his hand onto the forehead of the ailing man. 

His hand burned under the heat. The hero grimaced, "That is probably not good." 

"Lebbe go you baffood, " Horrible croaked, "I'b dot bade of steel you kdow."

"Surely, I do."

"Thed stop squeezigg be so hard," the man was clearly fed up with everything, especially this wannabe hero. 

"You are ill. I'm taking you home," Hammer said with his booming, courageous, annoying voice. 

"You are dot takigg be hobe. Put be dowd," Dr. Horrible sighed, provoking a harsh cough. 

Unfortunately for Dr. Horrible, Captain Hammer was already walking. Also unfortunately for Dr. Horrible, his hands were trapped and he needed to sneeze. 

"Put, -huh, put be, He-he-hnXtchew!" Horrible sneezed wetly into the other man's rock-hard chest. 

"Bless," Captain Hammer said simply. 

'Dod't ebed bother with thad. I'b beed sdee- sdeeeeez- Hetchew! Het-shoo! Choo! Hax-shew!" the doctor sneezed once more. He wiped his dripping nose onto Captain Hammer's shirt. His nose was becoming bright red. He'd tried so hard to keep that from happening too. "I'b beed sdeezing all day," he said weakly. 

"Bless, again."

Hammer sighed, "you and your dumb heists. How did you even get sick? It's the middle of spring!" He didn't get an answer. At least not one that he wanted. A soft, congested snore. He looked down and gazed upon the resting face of the villain he'd fought against for so long. He looked peaceful. Calm. Adorable. The hero shook his head. This was his nemesis! Not his boyfriend! 

Yellow snot ran down the sick man's face. His sleeping, soft face. The hero took a soft cloth out of his pocket and wiped Horrible's red and raw nose. 

 

 

Soon Captain Hammer got to his house. He went up to the guest room and laid the villain down on the bed in there. The only bed in the house that had not seen a naked body yet. Hammer went and got a box of soft tissues and put them on the nightstand next to the sleeping man. 

"This isn't kidnapping, it's just forceful caretaking," Captain hammer whispered to himself as he took off the clothes of the sleeping man and replaced them with a hoodie and sweatpants that he actually owned.

 

It only took 3 hours for the villain- er- citizen to wake up. The first thing that Billy did? 

"Heh-chew! Hext-shew! Shoo! Ah-choo! Heh-heh-NGXT!" the man covered his nose with his hand and looked around. this wasn't his house. That was obvious enough. Then he found his savior - a box of tissues. A large one at that. He grabbed 5 of them, holding them up to his nose and let out a loud, wet, gurgly blow. The tissues were instantly filled with the infectious fluid. Billy crumpled up the tissues and grabbed another handful. He brought the new pile of tissues to his nose and blew again. His nose burned as the thick fluid gurgled thickly out of his nostrils. He didn't feel like doing it again a third time. He sniffled thickly. 

"Bless," a man said loudly, yet softly, from across the room. 

Billy looked at the man, squinting slightly because of the dark. The man looked familiar. His hair was practically shining, even in the dark. He had a sweater vest on overtop of a white collared shirt. It was an ugly sweater vest. But all sweater vests are ugly. He wore slacks as well. And to top it all off, he had a pair of glasses perched on his nose. 

"Captaid Habber," Billy groaned, grabbed 2 tissues and holding them up to his abused nose to catch the drips. "So you'b stooped so low as to kiddap be?" 

"It's not kidnapping, it's forceful caretaking. There is a difference."

"I dod't see a diffedce," Billy grumbled. He blew his nose lightly, yet wetly, into the tissues he held to his nose. He wiped his nose and folded the tissues and held him up to his nose once more. 

"And since you are Billy out of costume, I must tell you my alias!" Captain Hammer exclaimed happily.

"Ode, bad bove. Thed I cad expose you. Two, Captaid Habber is your alias dipshit," Billy glared at the man. 

"Sure, sure. Whatever. My name is Michael!" he smiled. 

"Thad's great. Whad isd't great is thad I'b id your bad which is filled with who kdows whad. And ebed if it isd't your bed, who kdows how bady people habe beed id this bed, add i-" Billy's breath hitched, "HNXT! HCXT-shoo!" Billy then thickly blew his nose into the tissues that were still held to his nose. " Guh, this is gross." He crumpled the tissues again and grabbed a new handful, which he quickly brought to his red quivering nose. He gurgled once more into a waiting stack of tissues. The more he blew the wetter the blows became. The stack soon became damp. "Fuckigg flu." He laid back down on the soft bed. Then he sat back up, "This isd't by roob, I should leabe." He stood up.

Michael walked over, laying Billy back down on the bed. "You're staying here for as long as you're sick." 

"Wroggful codfidebedt, id additiod to kiddappigg," Billy sniffled. 

Michael reached into the pocket of his slacks and produced a soft cotton handkerchief. It was black with a red chequered pattern. Michael unfolded the cloth and brought it up to Billy's nose. "Come on, blow." 

Billy's face turned red, "I cad do id byself-" 

"Of course you can, but I'm helping. Now, blow."

Billy reluctantly blew his nose into the soft cloth. The wet gurlges soon made a damp spot in the hanky. Michael gently wiped the other's nose once he was done. 

"You never answered my question. How did you become sick?" 

Billy ignored him, rolling his eyes.

"How did you get sick?" Michael said louder.