Cats and Cases Don’t Mix (CM, Hotch)

[Wolfwings22]

It’s been a little bit since I’ve written anything Criminal Minds. I’ve been rewatched some of my favorite episodes from the earlier seasons and this idea of an allergic Hotch story just wouldn’t leave me alone, so I knew I had to write it down. This is just a little cute thing that I wrote on some spare time that I had on vacation. I hope that you enjoy it and let me know what you think!

 

 

 

Prompt- When storming a house looking for an Unsub, it's then Hotch realized he has an allergy to cats

 

 

 

 

 

    "FBI, open up!"

 

    Hotch stood back with his gun poised as Morgan thumped on the door. His eyes were narrowed to unforgiving slits with his shoulders slightly tensed. JJ stood across from him with her gun slightly lifted as well. Prentiss and Reid were around the back in case the Unsub tried to escape. Some of the local cops were with them while the sheriff and deputy were at the front, almost pressed against Hotch and JJ. Rossi stood directly behind Hotch with his face revealing nothing about what he thought.

 

    "Mr. Jay! FIB, open up the door now or we will break it down," Morgan threatened as he knocked on the door once more.

 

    When there was no answer, he turned his gaze on Hotch, who nodded slowly in a brief go ahead. Morgan stuck his gun down before he took a step forward and kicked the door down. It easily broke and Morgan headed in with the rest of the team following right behind. The sound of something breaking sounded through the back of the house as Reid and Prentiss headed through the back with the rest of the cops hot on their heels.

 

    Morgan and JJ headed upstairs while Rossi and Hotch headed for the basement. Hotch unlocked the door, starting down the stairs with his gun still poised in front of him. He bustled down the stairs, breathing softly, muscles tensed and eyes darting around urgently. He stalked forward as Rossi came behind him almost silently. Hotch reached out and grabbed a swinging string in front of him, pulling it down until the light sparked from a hazy lightbulb.

 

    Suddenly, a loud crash was heard behind them. Hotch spun around instinctively with his gun raised, finger already gripping the trigger at the ready in case he needed to fire. He stalked toward the corner, noting that paint can that had spilled. Hotch set his foot on it to turn it over when he suddenly heard a soft hissing sound jolting him from his thoughts. His head jerked up as his eyes caught sight of a small tiger tabby cat standing on a shelf where the paint can had once resided.

 

    The cat hissed with his back arching and tail lashing threateningly. Hotch stood there in surprise for a moment as Rossi came up beside him. "Hey, everything alright," he asked hesitantly.

 

    Hotch was about to answer when he felt his nose prick subconsciously. His nose slightly wrinkled in surprise as he lifted his hand without the gun to his face and slightly buckled forward into his waiting wrist. "Huh'TehcSh! Huh'TrhcsSh! Huh'TrchsSh!"

 

    The cat suddenly hissed and sprang from the shelf, landing on the ground gingerly and racing forward, leaving red paw prints on the ground in it’s wake.

    

    “Salud," Rossi murmured softly as he kneeled down and examined the paw prints the creature had left. He turned his head over toward the paint can and moved it slightly. He saw the yellow paint on the cement floor of the basement and sighed, shaking his head gravely.

 

    "What," Hotch asked as he sniffled a bit into a raised fist. He kneeled down beside the older agent and tilted his head as he glanced at what Rossi was looking at. "What is it?”

 

    "See these paw prints," Rossi asked as he waved a hand toward a perfect preserved paw print.

 

    Hotch blinked his slightly watery gaze as he tried to focus. "Yeah, I guess so," he replied as he rubbed a hand over his eyes. Why were they so watery all of a sudden?

 

    "Well, I think that that's blood. It's certainly not paint. The paint was yellow." He shook his head slowly before straightening, ignoring the slight twinge in his lower back. "I think that that cat has something to do with the Unsub."

 

    Hotch stifled a groan. "Then I guess someone has to go collect the little nuisance," he grumbled under his breath.

 

    Rossi turned to look at him and placed his gun back in his holster, securing it with the strap. He then stood and rested a hand on the leader’s shoulder. "Yes, someone should."

 

    Hotch opened his mouth to argue as Rossi chuckled and headed toward the stairs. "Don't worry. I'll send Reid down to help. I'm sure that he can think of a hundred and one ways to be able to catch a cat," Rossi called as he headed up the stairs, footsteps echoing through the wooden floorboards that made up the staircase.

 

    Hotch muttered under his breath as he deposited his own weapon in his holster with more force than necessary. He lifted a hand to the back of his neck and rubbed subconsciously to suppress a slight frustrated shake of his head. ‘Yes, and all 101 and one ways I'm not going to like,’ he thought with more bitterness than he expected.

 

    There was a sudden purr behind him as Hotch turned to see the cat walking behind him. He stopped at a small pole and walked around it with his tail lifted and kinked over his back. Now that Hotch had a better look at him he saw that he was a dark brown and black tabby with bright green eyes that appeared to share into his soul. Hotch was almost paralyzed for a moment as he locked eyes with the creature before his nose started to instantly rebel.

 

    He lifted both hands over his face and slightly pivoted away from the creature as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "Huh'TrCHsH! Huh'TrcSHsHs! Huh'rTshsSH!"

 

    Hotch hadn't even noticed that Reid had tiptoed down the stairs and was now standing in front of him, looking about as uncomfortable as Hotch felt. "Bless you. Did you know that the term was used when the plague was sweeping across Europe and the first signs was sneezing, and if you sneezed then it was thought that you had the plague and you were to be 'blessed' that you didn't come down ill like everyone else. However, that was nearly always impossible as they often did and then the rate of survival of the Bubonic plague was only 30-50% percent while Septicaemic plague was nearly always 100% fatal while Pneumonic plague is 100% no matter if one receives treatment or not.”

 

    Hotch was mildly intrigued to learn that there was more than one plague, but now wasn’t the time to ask questions. However, it did give Hotch the much needed time to sniffle as discretely as he could and straighten while Reid was occupied on what he was saying and not whether Hotch was actually paying attention to what he was saying. That was until Hotch's nose, once again, decided to disobey him. "Huh'TcsSHsH! Huh'TrhcsSH! Huh'tRcSHsSH!" Each sneeze was direct and strong and out of his control. All of that didn't seem to fit Hotch's personality, but Reid was hardly one to judge, nor comment too much on it.

 

    "Are you alright, sir," Reid asked as he took a step toward him cautiously. His eyes flashed in mild concern as he forced his head to face away from his boss.

 

    Hotch pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and dapped it lightly under his slightly stuffy nose. He settled for that instead of blowing his nose before he folded it once more and tucked it into his pocket as he turned back to Reid. "I'm fine," he replied dismissively, pleased that the congestion wasn't obstructing his voice at the moment. "Do you have any suggestions on how we could catch that thing?"

 

    Reid shook his ear to clear it as he tried to pull his focus away from Hotch and to the task that Rossi had set him on. "I believe we could try a trapping mechanism or perhaps a simple call to it?"

 

    "Whichever way you want to try," Hotch grumbled as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He started over to the last place that he had seen the feline and kneeled down. He narrowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness behind a shelf as he leaned forward. He shuddered when his nose gave a telltale tickle.

 

    He lifted his hand over the lower half of his face and suddenly pitched forward. "Huh'TrCSHsHS! Huh'RcThcsSH!Huh'tRhcSSh! Huh'TRhcsSH!"

 

    There was a frightened hiss as the cat pelted from behind the shelf and suddenly leaped into Reid's waiting arms. The cat curled up and purred against Reid's chest, head rubbing against his shirt and back arching in affection. Reid held it close as he ran his fingers through his soft fur. "H-Hello. You weren't too hard to catch, were you?"

 

    Hotch straightened and brought his handkerchief back out from his back pocket and brought it over his face. He turned to the side, away from Reid and the cat as he pitched forward harshly. "Huh'TcsSHSH! Huh'tRhscSSH! Huh'TrCSHshSSh! Huh'RtcSHsSH!"

 

    "Bless you," Reid chimed in softly, a hint of surprise in his voice.

 

    Hotch tried to wave him off, but he couldn't manage it. He stretched out his hand behind him and it brushed his fingers against the wall. He lowered down and sat with his back to the wall and his eyes practically streaming down his face as he breathed heavily. His chest seemed to tighten with each breath that he took as he clamped the handkerchief firmer around his nose. "Huh'TrcSSh! Huh'ThrcShsSh! Huh'TRCSHSSH! Huh'RchrsSHsh!"

 

    "Hotch," Reid started as he wrapped his arms firmer around the cat as it started to squirm due to how loud Hotch’s sneezing was.

 

    Hotch didn't answer as he breathed heavily through his open mouth. The next sound was the sound of pounding feet while Hotch slumped against the wall in exhaustion.

 

        "Hotch? Hotch! Aaron!"

 

    There was a short gasp as Hotch managed to lift his head and meet Rossi's eyes. Rossi patted the side of Hotch's face and Hotch tilted his head a bit as he scrunched up his face in surprise.

 

    "There, we go. Just focus on me," suggested Rossi gently as he leaned forward and squeezed Hotch's shoulder firmly. "You alright?"

 

    Hotch sniffled almost painfully as he felt his nose burn uncomfortably. "Dave," he asked in surprise.

 

    To his horror, Rossi leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Hotch's waist and hauled the tall man to his feet. Hotch staggered a bit before he finally gained his footing. He tried to pull away from Rossi, but Rossi was slightly stronger than him in his current state. Hotch fell into his grasp ever so slightly while still sniffling deeply, eyes pooling with tears no matter how hard he fought them.

 

    "Think that you can make it up the stairs?" Rossi's voice was calm, yet firm in the same way. His eyes were gentle as he looked at Hotch, but they demanded an answer. Hotch couldn’t answer right away since as he didn't trust his raspy voice at the moment. "Hotch, do you think you can make it up the stairs?"

 

    Hotch gave a pathetic nod. "I dond't dknow whadt's wrong with be," he questioned almost pathetically.

 

    "Hotch, I'd let Reid explain it to you, but I'm pretty sure that that wouldn't help. Although you did scare the poor kid half to death when you started wheezing like that." Rossi shook his head to clear it as he took one step up the stairs and waited patiently for Hotch to do the same. Hotch finally landed beside him before they struggled for the next step. "Did you know that you have allergies?"

 

    "I dond't-"

 

    "Don't even try to deny it. Up!" Rossi took one more step with Hotch fumbling to do the same, despite the fact that Rossi still had his arm wrapped around his waist and was almost carrying the younger agent up the stairs.

 

    Hotch couldn't recall another time that he had been this humiliated. He had no idea what was going on, but either way, it was embarrassing. He had relied heavily on Rossi numerous times, but never exactly like this. He narrowed his eyes when he realized that Rossi was still half carrying him forward and he eventually managed to pull away when they were halfway up the basement stairs and hauled himself almost to the top of the stairs while Rossi stayed closely behind him in case he staggered backwards.

   

    He reached out a hand for the doorknob before he quickly fumbled for a handkerchief instead. He pressed it against his twitching nostrils with his eyes fluttering. "Huh'TrhcSHs! Huh'TrhcSHS! Huh'ThrhcSHS! Huh'TrhcSShs! Huh'TrhcsSh!"

 

    "Salud, Aaron," Rossi began as he rested a hand on the Unit Chief's shoulder. "How about we get you out of this house. The fresh air will do you good."

 

    Hotch thought about protesting, but his nose was practically flooded and his head was clogged as well. He stifled a sigh as he blew his nose into his handkerchief before he deposited it into his pocket witout another word. He slowly opened the door before Rossi could warn him. He nearly walked nearly right into Reid, who couldn't hide his shock at seeing his boss like that.

 

    "H-Hotch, are you alright," stammered Reid as he took a step toward him.

 

    Hotch was about to say something, but Rossi intercepted him. He frowned as he flicked his head to the side. "Give him some space, alright? Can you find me a bottle of water and a washcloth or something of that nature?”

 

    Reid seemed to take a minute to contemplate that before he nodded vigorously. "S-Sure," he announced as he set off after a moment of contemplation.

 

    Rossi watched him scamper off before he continued to lead Hotch forward. Hotch was more than reluctant to face his team as well as the police department and crime scene investigators that were sure to be waiting. He tried to hang back for a few moments when his nose had other ideas. He spun away from Rossi and Rossi got the memo as Hotch's face crashed in his handkerchief, which was becoming more and more useless by the moment.

 

    "Huh'TrhcsSH! Huh'ThrCSsHs! Huh'TRcSHSSH! HuhrcSsHSH!"

 

    "Bless you," Rossi told him as he led him through the living room as quickly as possible. He couldn't spare him from some of the glares, but it was better than nothing. He finally dragged him outside and Hotch finally felt that he was able to breathe a little easier, yet only slightly.

 

    Rossi forced him to a large rock that was merely used for decoration, but it would do in a pinch. He forced Hotch to sit down and Hotch stumbled against the rock. His eyes were slightly narrowed against the harsh sunlight as his breath started to wheeze once more. Rossi picked up on this despite Hotch's best efforts to conceal it to the best of his ability.

 

    Hotch lifted a hand and pulled at his tie a bit in an effort to breathe easier. "Here," Rossi began as he leaned forward and started to pull the knot at Hotch's neck. "Let's get that off."

 

    "It's fine," rasped Hotch as he pulled away.

 

    Rossi narrowed his eyes to match Hotch's gaze. "As much as you believe otherwise, you don't always have to wear a tie, Hotch," he argued.

 

    Hotch suddenly ripped away from Rossi and Rossi's hands clamped down on thin air. Rossi pursed his lips together as Hotch lifted the handkerchief over his face once more and slightly pitched forward while he lowered his hand to grip at the rock to keep him planted firmly. "Huh'ThrcSs! Huh'TRchrhsSh! Huh'TrhcsSH! Huh'TRHcsSH!"

 

    Once he was finished, he blew his nose with an almost embarrassing honk. When he was finished, he blinked his watery eyes up at Rossi. "Bless you. You good?"

 

    Hotch grimainced since he didn't trust his voice at the moment. He just managed a tiny nod while Rossi reached over and was able to loosen the tie with almost no effort. He pulled it from Hotch's neck and then unbuttoned the first two buttons on Hotch's dress shirt before he reached for his jacket. Hotch would've fought a little harder if his nose wouldn't have rebelled once more as the jacket came too close to his nose.

 

    "Huh'TrhcSSH! Huh'ThrcSHS! Huh'TrhcSHS! Huh'ThrcSHS! Excuse me." Hotch lifted his hand and tried to rub the side of his nose in frustration. His handkerchief was beyond useful in this moment and he didn't even bother to use it. He sniffled deeply as the sun beat down on his face.

 

    Rossi sighed as he met Hotch's gaze. "So, cats, huh?

 

    Hotch swallowed a groan as he looked away from Rossi just as Reid emerged from the front door with a bottle of water in one hand and a box of tissues as well as a dish towel in the other. He smiled bashfully as he handed the items over to Rossi as if he was too embarrassed to give them to Hotch directly.

 

    Rossi took them from Reid and opened the cap off the bottle of water. He handed it over to Hotch with a smirk. "Small sips," he chided with a hint of amusement in his voice.

 

    Hotch responded with a cold glare as he deliberately took a few heavy sips just to spite what Rossi had said. Rossi allowed a reluctant grumble before he took the water away from Hotch. He then looked to Reid, who was staring wide eyed as he held a dish towel that he had managed to find. He seemed to have a death grip on it as he stared at his boss in fear.

 

    "Reid," Rossi snapped.

 

    Reid spun his head around while Rossi motioned for the towel. Reid leaned forward and handed the towel over to Rossi almost timidly. Rossi took it and stretched his arm out firmly before he doused the towel with the rest of the water bottle. He squeezed it out and set it over Hotch's swollen and watery eyes. Hotch tried to pull away, but Rossi had his hand firmly over his eyes to keep him steady.

 

    "Hotch, keep it there. It's helping," Rossi murmured softly.

 

    "I'm fine," growled Hotch as he swatted Rossi's hand away. He grabbed the cloth and rubbed it a bit more at his eyes before he pulled it away. His gaze locked on Reid; the younger man looked away while appealing uncomfortable and embarrassed as he tried to avert his gaze. "Find that thing?"

 

    Reid glanced up in surprise. "The cat? Oh, yeah. I caught him as well as three others. Did you know that cats—“

 

    He trailed off when he saw Hotch's nostrils seem to even twitch at the mention of the cats. He decided against what he had to say, but what he had already said was enough to send Hotch’s nose over the edge. He lifted his elbow over his face as he leaned forward. "Huh'TrhSCsHs! Huh'TrhcSHS! Huh'TrhcSHS! Huh'TrhcSSH!"

 

    "Salud," Rossi offered as he grabbed the box of tissues and pulled a few out. He offered them to Hotch once more before he nodded to Reid. "Do you think that you can handle things from here?"

 

    Reid's eyes almost bulged from his head. He gulped almost painfully as he looked around and pointed to his chest. "M-Me?"

 

    "Well, not just you," Rossi clarified. He hadn't meant to scare Reid half to death about it. That was certainly not the plan. "Everyone. Can you handle this scene without Hotch or I?"

 

    Reid didn't say anything until Hotch cleared his throat and turned a bit to glance in the younger member of BAU's direction. "Reid, get the cats to CSI and make sure to take pictures of the scene. Morgan will know exactly what to do. Prentiss and JJ will make sure that the local cops don't accidentally contaminate anything. Give me an update if you learn anything else."

 

    As much as Hotch hated the idea of leaving, he knew that he wasn't nearly as effective at the moment as he needed to be for the situation. His nose was practically flooding and stuffy at the same time, his voice was raspy, and he couldn't think straight. He always told his team that if they weren't fully into it, then they didn't need to be in the thick of things. Overlooking something could be dangerous to themselves and others. Hotch hated taking his own advice, but it was the only logical thing that he could do.

 

    "Yeah, I can do that," replied Reid softly.

 

    "Good. I'll just...just...cahhh....Huh'TrhcSHS!" Hotch barely had time to thrust a hand over the lower half of his face and pitch forward. He felt tissues pressed into his other hand and he quickly switched them out. He pressed the tissues against his much abused nose as his eyes jammed shut forcefully once again. "Huh'TrhcsSH! Huh'TrhcSSH! Huh'TrhcsSH! Huh'TrhcSSH!"

 

    "Bless you," Reid pipped up. He opened his mouth to utter yet another fact when Rossi shot him a glare. His mouth clamped shut firmly with a snap. He then settled for scuffing his feet against the ground uncomfortably.

 

    "Thanks," Hotch muttered as he blew his nose weakly.

 

    Rossi intercepted and nodded to Hotch. "Let's go. The sooner we get you out of those clothes the better," he pointed out as he reached out for Hotch's arm and helped him to his feet.

 

    Reid immediately drew backwards and looked down at his slightly fur covered khakis. "I'm sorry. Um, sorry," he began as he staggered backwards and away from his boss.

 

    Hotch was about to call out for Reid that it wasn't his fault, but he thought better of it. Instead he pulled away from Rossi and headed for one of the SUVs. He headed for the driver's side, but Rossi was quicker and easily blocked his path. That forced Hotch to take the passenger side, throw the door open and climb in. He sighed heavily with his forehead pressed against the window.

 

    "I will remember to exclude cats from all other BAU cases," Rossi told Hotch as he started the engine and turned on the air conditioning to help Hotch breathe a little better.

 

    Hotch rolled his eyes. "Right, you do that," he murmured softly.

 

    Rossi started back to the hotel and sighed heavily. "Just relax for a little bit and we will put this case behind us," he reassured.

 

    From that moment on, Hotch was never seen with another cat again.

 

The End

[-Evelynn]

Amazing sneeze spellings! Update the fanfic soon, @Wolfwings22!

[silentdreamer789]

Great fic!

[aggedy_ann]

Love this

[AntheaHolmes]

Bless Aaron and his amazing sneezes! I loved watching CM and gave it quite some re-runs. Maybe I'll do again after reading so many amazing stories.