In the Bag (Inception, Arthur/Eames, sneezekink Arthur, complete)

[RiversD]

A gift for a friend who loves to headcanon Eames with bad allergies and Arthur with a sneezing fetish. Established relationship, 2.3k words, low on plot, just Eames having an allergy attack in an airport for your enjoyment.

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They had hardly been off the plane five minutes before Eames stiffened slightly , swore, and sniffed in a way that immediately captured Arthur's attention. If it hadn't been for that sniff, he'd be scanning for danger as soon as Eames showed discomfort, but-

"You okay?"

Eames wrinkled his nose, shook his head, and started walking again.

"Wrong kind of pollen in this city."

Arthur had been half-expecting it, but now his chest pooled with a spreading warmth. He sympathised with Eames's struggle, of course he did, but he couldn't deny his own excitement. Besides which, the two of them weren't often in a situation when he could enjoy it without worrying about other things. Like dodging a couple of hired thugs, or driving faster than the FBI. For example.

"How bad is it?" he asked, trying not to sound too invested in the answer.

"Oh, you're loving this already, aren't you?"

Eames raised his free hand and pressed the back of it hard enough against his nose that his eyes started to water. Or maybe they were doing that already. Arthur tried not to walk and stare. The last thing his remaining dignity needed was for him to walk into an airport pillar because he couldn't take his eyes off Eames's irritated face.

"It's a legitimate question," Arthur protested.

"Not the way you mean it. I can hear the h- the hope."

Eames's beath skipped a little, and he squeezed his nose between finger and thumb as though insisting not yet.

"You're not answering. Just mocking me."

Eames sighed. He released his nose very carefully, and answered:

"Genuinely awful."

"Already?"

"Getting there. Hold my funeral at the Savoy. No flowers by request, and out of respect for-"

Eames lifted his hand to his face again, rubbing his knuckles against one nostril at a time now. They were already starting to flush under all the attention.

"Do you have-"

"hh'UHH-"

Arthur aborted his question with a gulp as Eames's head tilted suddenly back, his hand still held in a loose fist beneath visibly-flared nostrils. There was a heady moment of tension, heat flooding the base of Arthur's skull, before Eames's shoulders loosened again, caught breath spilling back out in an unsteady sigh.

"False alarm." He winked at Arthur, who knew he was blushing and wished, for possibly the ten thousandth time since meeting Eames, that he had more control over it.

Arthur tried again. "Do you have antihistamines in your carry-on?"

Eames shook his head. "I packed some, but I think I put them in the big bag. Not the best decision I've ever made."

He pressed a knuckle into the corner of one eye and worked at it with the attitude of a man very much prioritising short-term gains over long-term comfort.

"Certainly hard to imagine a situation where quick access to those isn't useful."

"Don't get smug. Anyway, I thought it would be raining. Forecast wa-w-"

Tickled into silence this time, Eames was frozen for a long moment in the breathless loss of his closing retort. He gasped, and the suspended tension came crashing down in a sneeze that was quite dramatic enough to justify it.

"hh'hRSCHHH'euh!"

Eames's bag bounced against his hip as he dipped into the sneeze, wrenching his free arm up to bury the release in its elbow. He came up sniffling, both eyes and nose apparently waiting for that cue to start producing moisture in earnest.

Blinking rapidly to clear his vision a little, Eames dug in his jacket pocket and pulled out a small, plastic-wrapped pack of tissues. He tore it open.

"Not a complete idiot, see?"

Arthur forbore from comment, not least because Eames was busy blowing his nose and would likely just ignore him. Far easier to enjoy the show while Eames was feeling good-natured about it all.

Caught up in his own thoughts, he jumped a little when Eames spoke.

"Don't know what you're standing still for. It's not as though I'm about to become less disruptive."

"Right, of course. Baggage claim, then. And I'll call a taxi."

"snf! Lovely."

As usual, Eames fell in behind Arthur, trusting him to have a comprehensive understanding of the airport's nigh-incomprehensible signage. He did, but even so, there was a delay at baggage claim. A printed-out sign informed them bags from their flight were due to arrive at belt 3, and provided a dazzling lack of additional detail.

"Wonderful," Eames muttered as they shuffled into place with the rest of the corridor-dazed tourists. Possibly noticing that his "n" had barely been keeping its head above water, he sniffed back the gathering tide and pulled out his tissues again.

Even more quietly, he asked; "Do you have any tissues, or do I have to start rationing these?"

Large sections of Arthur's brain short-circuited at the thought. Luckily, his quartermaster functions were among his most automatic by now.

"One travel pack in my carry-on, more in the bags. I, uh, I think I also have a few paper napkins, but I'd call those a last resort."

"Good. I bi-snf! might need the travel pack." Eames had one of his own tissues open between both hands. Sentence complete, he turned away from Arthur and blew his nose in a gurgling stream. A few heads turned around them. Arthur glared at the people nearest to them until they decided to mind their own business again.

"Sorry about that," Eames apologised, finishing his business and pushing some stray hairs back into place. "No idea where it all comes from."

Arthur interrupted himself midway through his automatic response.

"Not your fau- excuse me?"

"This." Eames made an expansive gesture that took in the increasingly pitiable state of his eyes, nose, and- if the care he was taking with his diction was any indication- throat. "I don't know how it manages to get so wet. According to reason I should shrivel up like a prune, but I don't."

"A delightful image, Eames, thank you for that."

That drew out an amused half-smile from Eames. "I could snf! go further."

"You'd regret it."

"Not for long, I'm sure. But I think you wou- shit, excuse me-"

Eames pulled a fresh tissue out of the pack and half-turned his face away, his expression crumpling into a needy sneer in the time it took to get the tissue ready.

"hh'uhh- heht'SHHHHhue!"

"Gesundheit," Arthur managed, fortunately before Eames had recovered enough to pounce on the very slight crack in his voice.

Eames straightened up, wiping his nose.

"I miss Heathrow," he griped. "They've got a wonderful air filtration system."

"Yes, well. This is a rather smaller affair."

"You're telling me. If this place has filters, they must be running them in bloody reverse."

Arthur didn't have an appropriate response for that. He busied himself finding those extra tissues in his bag instead.

Eames took them without further comment and slipped them into his pocket. He spent the wait for their bags steadily working through his own pack while Arthur tried not to overanalyse his otherwise continual sniffs for indicators of the allergic reaction's progress through Eames's sinuses.

A fresh influx of bags began to appear at the top of the luggage belt. An elderly couple in matching yellow coats hurried forward to claim their bag as soon as it descended below waist-height, perhaps nervous that letting it progress farther was an invitation to theft.

"Think this is ours?" Eames asked.

Arthur straightened up in readiness. "Yes. I recognise that couple from the flight."

"Thank God."

Eames hoisted his carry-on again, this time to extract an almost-full plastic water-bottle. He unscrewed the cap and held the bottle to his lips for three cautious swallows. He was just bringing it down again when his brow furrowed abruptly.

"Oh. Could you-"

He thrust the open water bottle towards Arthur, who realised what was going on just in time to take it. As soon as his hand was empty, Eames whipped his arm back to cover his face, buckling into an uncomfortably wet-sounding sneeze.

"hhuh-hEH'TZSSHHHeue!"

It must have felt as bad as it sounded, because Eames kept his face covered by that arm and passed the bottle cap to Arthur so that he could have a free hand to liberate a much-needed tissue. He deliberately turned away from Arthur to use it. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, Arthur gave Eames space and moved to retrieve their bags.

The sight of Eames's face when he returned almost made Arthur forget his own name. His eyes were watering in earnest once more and he must have been exceptionally rough with his nose in the last minute, because it was rubbed red and shining in a way that Arthur definitely would have noticed if it had been that way before.

"Thanks."

Arthur blinked, then realised that Eames had his hand outstretched for his bag. Which Arthur was holding. And should now pass over.

He managed it. Eames raised an eyebrow at him, but was far more interested in getting into his bag than teasing Arthur at this precise moment in time. He set the large duffel bag down on the floor and crouched beside it, unzipping its main compartment and beginning to search through it. He kept the contents shielded from general view, which was probably wise. They weren't foolish enough to bring large contraband on a commercial flight, but one or two things in that bag might still cause comment if they were accidentally unearthed.

The bag had only been open about four seconds before Eames, frowning, withdrew one hand to press against the underside of his nose. He sniffed hard, and the way his angry-red nostrils twitched in response made Arthur feel genuinely light-headed.

Eames squinted into the middle distance for a couple of seconds, looking as though he was about to sneeze- which at this point would be no surprise. But the need deserted him, or he pushed it off, and he turned back to his duffel bag, blinking hard to try and clear his vision of the allergic tears that had already saturated his eyelashes.

Arthur swallowed hard and, in an only slightly strained voice, asked:

"Do you want me to search?"

"No, I think I remember where I-" a pair of tight, irritated maybe-breaths and Eames did sneeze, curling in tight to corral a fit of ticklish, spraying sneezes between himself and the bag.

"ih-hh'eHSSCHHHeue! hh'htch'SHHEue! huhh... heh- hh'IH'SCHHHue!"

"Gesundheit. They're teasing you a bit." It came out before he could reassert control over his mouth.

"What?" Eame's paused mid-rummage to squint up at Arthur. A stray teardrop escaped and ran down his cheek, breaking against his stubble as Arthur watched.

"Seems like you're taking longer to... get there, that's all. Keep going."

"Oh." Eames went back to digging, punctuating every second or third word with a sniff. "Yeah, some species of pollen do that. Bloody annoying, once it sets in. I'd much rather sneeze quickly and move on with my life."

"God."

"You started this conversation, Darling. If it's too- snf! too damned saucy for you- aha!"

Eames withdrew a crushed cardboard packet from the bag in triumph.

"Right, if you'll excuse me..."

He pulled the blister pack out of its sleeve and started popping pills out onto his palm. Arthur didn't question the number- he'd learned that lesson- but he did pick up the water bottle and thrust it into Eames's peripheral vision. Eames gave it a sidelong look.

"It's not good for you to dry-swallow. I've told you before."

"Many times." Eames rolled his eyes, but took the bottle. He swallowed the pills in pairs, then snatched frantically for a tissue as the extended break between sniffs produced an inevitable consequence.

He tucked the tissue over his lower face one-handed and pressed down firmly on his nose. Possibly he was hoping to tend to the immediate issue without interruption, but his nose was not prepared to co-operate.

"hahT'SSCHHHeue! hh- hh'SSCHHheue! hh'hrRSCHHH'eue!"

The force of each irritated sneeze had Eames rocking in place, one hand clutching the tissue for dear life, the other resting on his luggage for support. His knuckles showed white against the fabric of the bag, grip tightening with each destabilising release. Arthur realised how hard he was biting his lip, and forcibly relaxed his jaw.

"hheh...hEH'TZSSSCHH'eue! Uhnn..."

Eames finished out the fit and groaned a wordless complaint, just in case anybody present felt like being sympathetic to his suffering. Grimacing, he reached for another tissue. Arthur could see that the first one had torn where Eames had clasped it too tightly to his face mid-spasm.

Not really knowing what was appropriate, Arthur vaguely patted Eames's back until Eames laughed at him, which sent him back to pick up his own bag in an embarrassed huff. Eames closed his bag and pushed himself to his feet in time to fall in behind.

"Well, this trip can only get worse," he remarked cheerfully. "Auspicious beginnings and all that."

"Don't start getting superstitious now, Mr Eames. I've put too much work into organizing this."

"Oh, but think of the fun you could have organizing it all over again!"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Your sarcasm is appreciated. If you've got any more surprises planned, I'd appreciate hearing about them soon."

"Didn't exactly plan this one, Darling. Mind you..." Eames overlapped his shoulder with Arthur's for a moment, so that Arthur could feel his breath against his ear, hot and close. He sniffed, carefully and deliberately, then murmured, "I'm sure I could plan a much nicer surprise later. If you can find time in your meticulous schedule, of course."

"I-" Arthur took a deep breath. "7:30 tonight, my room. I can give you half an hour."

Eames laughed, sharp and genuine for once. He picked up his pace so that he could give Arthur a slap on the rear as he overtook.

"Confidence. I like it. Onwards and upwards, Darling."

 

[Owlinatree]

RIVERS!  I've already expounded at length elsewhere about how great this fic is, but I'm gonna highlight a few fav bits here, because I can .

2 hours ago, RiversD said:

"How bad is it?" he asked, trying not to sound too invested in the answer.

"Oh, you're loving this already, aren't you?"

I just love this dynamic so much  Arthur trying to sound smooth and Eames absolutely just blasting through that. All the dialogue in this is really great.

2 hours ago, RiversD said:

He pressed a knuckle into the corner of one eye and worked at it with the attitude of a man very much prioritising short-term gains over long-term comfort.

Delicious concept, this. Just generally, all these little moments establish his allergic misery in such an all-encompassing way; marvelous! 

2 hours ago, RiversD said:

Tickled into silence this time, Eames was frozen for a long moment in the breathless loss of his closing retort. He gasped, and the suspended tension came crashing down in a sneeze that was quite dramatic enough to justify it.

THIS! THIS IS LITERATURE! THIS IS PROSE! 

2 hours ago, RiversD said:

He unscrewed the cap and held the bottle to his lips for three cautious swallows. He was just bringing it down again when his brow furrowed abruptly.

"Oh. Could you-"

He thrust the open water bottle towards Arthur, who realised what was going on just in time to take it. As soon as his hand was empty, Eames whipped his arm back to cover his face, buckling into an uncomfortably wet-sounding sneeze.

What a classic scenario, executed to perfection here  bless Arthur's point-man brain for overpowering his mind in time to act  (I am rediscovering forum emojis; please bear with me as I gleefully run through all applicable emoticons)

2 hours ago, RiversD said:

"No, I think I remember where I-" a pair of tight, irritated maybe-breaths and Eames did sneeze, curling in tight to corral a fit of ticklish, spraying sneezes between himself and the bag.

(LOUD CHEERING CAN BE HEARD FROM MY CORNER)

 

Ok I swear I will stop lovebombing you on every conceivable platform about this . But truly it's magnificent work, and I'm also just so excited to get a gift from such a great friend !!!

[RiversD]

@Owlinatree I love you and I hope you get validated one day so you can update all the no-longer-true parts of your profile. A+ use of emojis, A++++ job making me feel appreciated and happy. I have no problems with being lovebombed, it's all great <3