Bucky's no good very bad day (falcon and the Winter Soldier)

[RemedyBane]

SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 2!!

Sam had been trying to reach Bucky all day. Not that he would admit it, but he was actually worried. yeah, Bucky liked to be alone, and they weren't exactly friends, but he had a mandatory therapy session today and he was about to be late. Due to the nature of their last shared session, she had forced Sam to come along too.

"Come on, man.. pick up.." 

"why do you keep calling me?" 

Sam jumped and spun around, "because i wanna get this over with. You know you can't be late!" Sam gave him a funny look and noticed his eyes were all red, 'Did you get hit by a bus coming here?" 

"I'm not late. We still have three minutes," he sighed and shoved past him, "I'm fine."

"Now, why don't I believe that," Sam followed him in and frowned when he noticed the slight redness to his neck. 

"Good Morning Boys," The therapist smiled and gestured for them to sit down, "Glad to see you both on time." 

Sam noticed a quick shake of Bucky's shoulders and frowned as he sat on the other side of the couch.

"Bucky, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing-"

"Lying to me will not make this easier. You look like crap."

"just like your bedside manner," He noticed her go get her pad and pen and sighed, "fine... stop with the stupid notebook.." he rubbed his face, "Neighbor got a cat... It keeps finding its way into my apartment." 

"you're allergic to cats?" Sam tried not to laugh, "serious? Big strong supersoldier... taken down by a cat?" 

"I'm not down," he cleared his throat, "I could still kick your ass." 

"ya'huh, big talk, Rudolph," He dodged the kick coming his way and actually started laughing when Bucky went into a small sneezing fit, "man, don't hold it in like that. You'll explode." 

"Sam, right. You're hurting yourself." She looked over her glasses, "You're not the winter soldier anymore, you don't have to be quiet." 

"Maybe I like the quiet." 

"No you don't," she leaned back in her chair, "The quiet is driving you mad." 

"it's n-" he buried his face in his elbow and stifled three. 

"Seriously, dude, relax." 

"can you both stop focuses on this?" he rubbed his eyes, "Thought I was in therapy, not the hospital?" 

"I'm actually glad this happened. You need to open up more and be ok with being vulnerable with people."

"ugh," He sighed and dramatically leaned back against the couch, "Will you both stop if I sneeze out loud?" 

"Yes," Sam turned towards him and stared at him.

"I can't sneeze on command," he looked between the two of them, clearly uncomfortable. As he said that, he could feel a sneeze building. He tried to keep it at bay, but the damn cat shed on his jacket. 

It was clear he was trying to keep it back but it just slipped out, "DTSCh!" he sniffed and rubbed his nose, "happy?" 

"you were holding it back, that doesn't count." The therapist got out the notes again. 

"There is no pleasing you both," he suddenly started coughing and bent over, tensing more when he felt a hand on his back.

"man, take off the jacket and gloves. They have hair all over them." 

Bucky shook his head, still trying to stop coughing.

"We both know about your arm. give yourself a break," Sam started to take off his gloves for him, ignoring how Bucky tried to move away and not cough on him, "stop fighting me, man." 

He finally got the gloves off and noticed his flesh hand was rashy.

"jeez..." Sam quickly took off his jacket and tried to brush off as much cat hair as he could. 

Bucky let him take it off but refused to look at either of them as if ashamed of his arm.

"Bucky-" The therapist was genuinely concerned with the hives covering his body, "Steve wouldn't want you to torture yourself"

Bucky stood up, "You have no idea what he would want." 

"Not this-" Sam stood up too, "Look, man, come stay with me.."

"No-"

"That wasn't a question," he gently grabbed his shoulder and urged him to sit back down, "seriously, hot shower, you can sleep on something that isn't a couch from the 40s, it'll be good for you." 

"I don't have a choice-" he nodded before he tensed again and ducked into his elbow, "hih'TDschiew-eatschew-schiew" the cough that followed made Sam frown and continue to pat his back.

"Come on, we can grab food on the way." 

The Therapist smiled as they left, finally.. some progress. 

 

 

[angora48]

Nice! Of course Sam would make fun of big, tough Bucky for being allergic to cats. Great banter, with hints of vulnerability - this is cute.

[RemedyBane]

Sam let Bucky get himself up and walked with him to the car. He wanted to say something, anything that would make him feel more comfortable with this, but he knew they were still in hot water.

"Only for tonight," Bucky looked anywhere but him, "I'll be fine. "

"uhuh," Sam unlocked the door and wait for Bucky to get in. He noticed how hesitant he was and realized it was really hard for Bucky to trust him, even with everything they've been through together, "I'm not gonna drive us off a cliff. I happen to want to live."

Bucky got in with a grown and closed the door, hastily putting his seatbelt on.

"my driving isn't that bad."

"Didn't say it was bad."

Sam noticed something in his voice that was almost like an apology, "ok?" 

"Where do you want to eat?" 

"I figured we could have a pizza delivered? That way you can get a shower and comfortable?" 

Bucky and nodded, looking out the window. He was starting to feel a little dizzy and tight chested. That happened when he was nervous. He didn't like not being in control of a vehicle. He kept feeling like he was being driven back to Hydra. He tensed up and felt a lump in his throat. He was no going to throw up. No. He rubbed his face and closed his eyes.

"What's wrong?" 

"pull over." 

"Why?" 

"Just do it!" 

Sam frowned and pulled over, not liking how pale he got. His worry spiked when Bucky quickly got out of the car and threw up in the grass, "Woah.." Sam ran out of the car to him, "Hey, man you gotta talk to me. What's goin' on!" 

BUcky stood up and leaned against the car, "I think I'll walk." 

"You get car sick?" Sam reached forward and touched his forehead, surprised that Bucky let him, "you don't feel warm.." 

"I keep feeling like I'm being brought... back.." 

Sam's stomach dropped and moved his hand to his shoulder, "Hey, you're never going back there.. Is that why you always wanna drive?" 

Bucky nodded.

"You let steve drive.." 

"Steve did everything to get me AWAY from Hydra.. HE wouldn't-" 

"and neither would I," Sam moved to be in front of him, forcing him to look at him, "I know you don't trust me, but Steve did. He trusted me to help get you out. HE trusted me to be on his side when it came to you. I was and am on your side. I need you to believe that I'm not the bad guy." 

"I know..." Bucky nodded, "I know that. I Just-" His voice broke and looked away from him.

"I miss him too." he squeezed his shoulder, "Let me help you." 

"I shouldn't need it-" 

"Hey, Steve told me all about how you took care of him for years.. Ever thought it might be time to take care of you?" 

"I'm not worth it.." 

"Steve thought so," Sam opened the side door, "come on, we are almost there. No use going back." 

___

They both made it back to the apartment in one piece. Bucky tried not to look too hard at the apartment, lest Sam think he's judging or profiling. He made a beeline for the bathroom when Sam pointed it out. He only took off any of his clothes when the door was closed and locked. His closed were neatly folded on the sink before he went in the shower. The hot water felt amazing and the steam was making it easier to breathe. His mind wandered, and he started to think about what Sam said. But what Sam didn't know, is that Steve took care of him too. 

~ (Flashback)

"its starting to get cold," Bucky frowned and fixed Steve's jacket, "you sure you got on enough layers?" 

"Yes, Buck," Steve rolled his eyes, "I'm wearing everything I got. You, on the other hand-" Steve tried to take off his scarf, "are practically bare." 

"Hey, no," Buck frowned and made him put his hands down, "If I catch something I'll be fine in a few days, you're still recovering." 

"Don't think I didn't hear you sneezing this morning," Steve tried to reach Bucky's forehead but Bucky moved away too quickly, "You caught it from me.." 

"Stop it," Bucky pulled his hat better on his head, "i'm fine. Besides, we are just going for groceries. I'll live." 

___

On their way back, Bucky's arms were full of stuff while Steve was only caring one thing.

"Are you sure I can't help.." 

"I got it," he sniffed and scrunched up his nose, "You need your strength." 

Steve raised his brows at him, "How are you going to get your keys with your arms so full?" 

"Guess you'll just have to grab them for me," he smirked slightly at him, before quickly turning away and sneezing into his other shoulder, "Henkt-yiew." He rubbed his nose lightly against the fabric of his jacket before hitching, "hihh... engk-shiew." 

"Bless you, Buck," Steve took some stuff from him and handed him a handkerchief, "You've got my cold." 

"Its just an itch... fall allergies.." 

"you don't have fall allergies," Steve rolled his eyes and let Bucky go first up the stairs.

"You don't know that.. Allergies change.." He paused on the doorway and tried to stifle into his shoulder and failed, "nght-schuh!" 

"bless you," Steve smiled sympathetically, "I Know all your allergies by heart like you know mine. Fall is your favorite because you don't have fall allergies." 

Buck sighed and nodded, "Fine," he finished up the stairs, "Grab the keys?" 

Steve reached into his back pocket and grabbed the keys before opening the door for him, "Let me make dinner, tonight." 

"no, way," Bucky went to the counter and put things down, "you burn water." 

"You can't burn water, Buck." Steve closed and locked the door before moving to where Bucky was, "And bless you." 

Bucky gave him a glare before turning around and shoving his face in his elbow, "HEhschiew!" He bent over a bit, "oh." 

"That was a big one," Steve walked over and rubbed his back, "Dinner can wait, lay down for a bit." 

"only until I stop.." He pinched his nose shut, "-Chuh!"  he sighed, "Stop sneezing.."

Steve walked with him to the couch and cuddled up with him, this time with Bucky's head on his chest, "Warm enough?" 

"I'm good, Stevie," he sniffed and closed his eyes, "Thanks." 

___

Bucky snapped out of it when he heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"you alive in there?" 

Bucky was about to answer when he really needed to sneeze. He quickly brought his hands up, "Engk-schiew!" 

"I'll take that as a yes." Sam was laughing outside the door, "That was adorable." 

"Shut up!" He blushed and was secretly hoping to drown himself. Steve used to call his sneezes cute. He frowned and sniffed. He hadn't sneezed like that in decades.. Many things had changed, apparently, that did too. 

 

[Claire89]

Sam-Bucky bromance with attitude and Sam laughing where it’s super cute for him to laugh plus the fact I can see the Winter Soldier sneezing this way (trying to not make sound lol) Also Sam is being so comforting and even cuter how Bucky resists and then gives in... I LOVE this, thank you so much for writing it!! 

[angora48]

Nice! I like the little details about their interactions with one another, like Sam being surprised that Bucky lets him feel his forehead. I also really like the flashback with Bucky and Steve! ❤️

[Papetite]

Omg!!! Thank you so much for writing this! I loved it!!! Bucky sneezing 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻. Please continue or write more! So good!!!

[RemedyBane]

18 hours ago, Claire89 said:

Sam-Bucky bromance with attitude and Sam laughing where it’s super cute for him to laugh plus the fact I can see the Winter Soldier sneezing this way (trying to not make sound lol) Also Sam is being so comforting and even cuter how Bucky resists and then gives in... I LOVE this, thank you so much for writing it!! 

Thank you so much! ireally appreciate the comment! 

3 hours ago, angora48 said:

Nice! I like the little details about their interactions with one another, like Sam being surprised that Bucky lets him feel his forehead. I also really like the flashback with Bucky and Steve! ❤️

Thank you! I plan to have more flashbacks with Steve! if you like steve and bucky I also started a drabble thread with the two of them .

3 hours ago, Papetite said:

Omg!!! Thank you so much for writing this! I loved it!!! Bucky sneezing 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻. Please continue or write more! So good!!!

OMGs thank you so much for commenting! I'm sorry theres not sneezing in this part, but i promise there will be in the future. I just wanted to establish a few things first!

Part 3:

Bucky turned off the shower and dried off, only to realize he didn't bring his bag in with him, "Fuck.." He took a breathe and wrapped a towel around his hips before slightly opening the door, "Sam? Can you um... hand me my bag?" 

Sam was sitting on the couch and looked at him with raised brows, "what this?" He holds it up, swinging it lightly as his finger held the strap, "Did you want this?" 

Bucky just stared at him, clearly not amused. 

"Come and get it, tough guy." Sam stood up and started moving backward, away from the bathroom door.

Bucky seemed to debate with himself before walking out in just a towel, metal hand holding the towel tightly, "Why are you such a child." 

Sam just smiled and kept backing up. Bucky tried to reach and grab it but Sam moved quickly away, making Bucky trip a bit. Sam's laughter was really getting to Bucky and he kept lunging for his bag. This went on for about another minute before Bucky backed Sam into a corner and pinned Sam back with his metal hand, gently, and the other hand grabbing his bag. 

There was a split second where Bucky's face looked panicked as he noticed the towel had fallen on the ground. He quickly moved the bag to cover himself.

Sam just pressed his lips really tightly trying not to laugh in his face. 

"Not a word," Bucky let go of him, and slowly backed up, trying to keep concealed, and accidentally knocked into a table and had to drop the bag to stop the stuff from falling and breaking. He was mostly worried about the glass vase and picture frame, "Shit.." 

Sam burst out laughing, holding his side as he gave himself stitches. Once he got himself together, he looked up, "im sorry.. its not funny." he stood up straight, still smiling, when he finally looked down, "Daamn," Sam's eyes opened wide, "That serum really did make everything bigger." 

Bucky blushed hard and picked his bag back up cover again, "Fuck.." he cleared his throat, face and neck getting red as he blushed, "This is your fault." 

"It's ok man, I know it's my fault," he put his hands up in defeat, "I'm impressed though." 

Bucky did the stare again before moving back into the bathroom.

"aww, come on Buck. I was just messing with you." 

Bucky quickly put on some pants and shirt but kept his shirt sleeveless. his arm always felt a little odd after it was wet. There was a deep ache in his shoulder and he didn't want to put more pressure on it, "its fine." He came back out, "And the Serum? It didn't make it bigger." He smirked and put the bag on the table.

Sam looked slightly taken aback, "oh, ok then." He gently patted the back of his shoulder and noticed how Bucky winced, "I thought you couldn't feel anything with that vibranium arm." 

"it's not my arm that hurts," he rolled it slightly, "It's the.. joint." he was struggling to talk about it, "Where it connects.. to me. It hurts when it's wet. I don't know why."

"Come here," Sam put a hand on his arm and led him to the couch, "Can you take it off?" 

"no," he moved his sleeve further up his arm to show the scars, "it's not a prosthetic in what you're used to," he cleared his throat out of embarrassment, "It's surgically implanted in me." 

"Ouch," Sam moved to touch the scars when he noticed Bucky flinch when his fingers brushed it, "woah, hey, i'm not going to hurt you." 

"Reflex," he turned away and coughed a bit.

"I might have something that will help with the pain?" 

"I'm not taking any meds." 

"Nothing oral, just a heat pad," Sam came back with an icy hot patch, "You're probably in pain because your muscle is tight. Try it? You have nothing to lose." 

"fine," he bit the inside of his cheek as he felt Sam put something on his back. It was really warm and he didn't realize until now how cold he was. 

Sam noticed him shiver, "give it a chance, you'll feel better." 

"Thanks.." 

Same squeezed his other shoulder before getting up, "Want a beer?" 

"sure," He leaned back against the couch and tried not to groan at how soft it was and found his eyes closing.

Sam came back in and found a passed-out Winter Soldier. Asleep he looked so innocent and sad. Sam found himself staring, not used to seeing a relaxed and soft Bucky. Was this how Steve saw him? Is this a little snippet of what Bucky was like before the war? He watched as Bucky shivered and brought his legs up. It was actually rather warm in the apartment, which worried Sam. 

___

Bucky woke up to the smell of Pizza and slowly opened his eyes to see Sam at the table, a box of Pizza open, and a slice in his hand.

"Mornin' Sleeping Beauty"

"huh?" Bucky slowly sat up and looked confused at the blanket that was over him.

"it's a Disney movie... we'll get to that eventually." 

"Sure Stevie," Bucky rubbed the sleep from his eyes and blurrily looked around the room as if he didn't know where he was.

Sam was taken aback by this and wasn't sure if he should move or say something. He opted for the latter, "James?" He figured the nickname would confuse him more.

Bucky looked quickly at him and seem to realize what his sleepy brain just made him do, "right.. sorry." 

"Where were you just now?" Sam leaned forward in his chair.

"Thought i was in his apartment." 

"there often?" he was trying to lighten the mood.

"yeah.." Bucky rubbed his face and looked up at the ceiling, "going over that stupid list.." He sniffed and stood up, only to feel light headed. He stumbled for a second before getting himself together, "why did you let me sleep?" 

"hey, I don't mess with a man's sleep. I'm trying to get on your good side, remember?" 

Bucky just nodded and walked over, taking a seat and staring at nothing.

"you're doing the staring again," Sam put a slice on the plate and pushed it over to him, "So, you call Steve 'Stevie'?" 

Bucky seemed to barely recognize the question, before nodding, "A long time ago." 

"alright," Same finished off his piece before grabbing another, "How are you feeling?" 

Bucky looked at the Pizza, not really hungry, but figuring sam would get suspicious if he didn't eat anything, "Tired." 

"So i've noticed. What else?" 

"Why does there have to be something else?" 

Sam gave him a look like he knew he was playing dumb, "Hm, maybe becuase you had an allergy attack in therapy, passed out on my couch, stumbled on the way here, and, oh yeah, your shoulder is twitching."  

Bucky seemed to snap out of it and looked at his metal arm and felt his muscle spasm, "That happens." he started to massage it. 

"I can see your wheels turning, speak your mind for once." 

"Steve knew how to stop it." the twitch was so bad that the pain radiated up his neck, "Im not good at it." 

"You know what triggers it?" 

"Stress," he rolled his shoulder, "anxiety, pain." 

"all of which  you're feeling right now?" 

"yes," the word got caught in his throat and he turned into his arm to cough.

"Hold on," Sam got up and moved behind bucky, but slightly to the side so he could still see most of him, "Relax, and trust me." He started to massage the shoulder and his neck, ignoring how bucky twitched at the contact, "just trust me." 

Eventually Bucky started to relax and let his chin go down to his chest, letting Sam massage him.

"See, better?" 

Bucky nodded, moving his head to give Sam more access.

"Now, you gonna tell me how you really feel?" 

Bucky took a deep breathe and spoke under his breathe, "like crap." 

"yeah, wanna elaborate?" 

"Throat hurts," He could feel Sam's fingers touch his neck, checking for swollen glands, "Body hurts.. itchy." 

"You trust me enough to give you some benadryl?" 

"im not taking medicine," he coughed a bit into his fist, "just can't.." 

"Fine, but you're staying until this is over." 

"I'll be fine in a few hours-" 

"I hate to break it to you, Buck," Sam moved his hand to touch his forehead, "but you're running a fever." 

"I'm sick?" he looked confused, "I can't get sick..?" 

"Well somehow you are, and i'm not sure you being alone is a good thing. We don't know how its going to interact with your super serum." 

Bucky sighed, "Explains why my arm feels so heavy..." He looked as his metal one, "sorry." 

"Don't worry about it. We got this," Sam pushed back his hair, "eat something, then we can make a plan." 

"thought you weren't big on plans," he coughed a bit and took a bit of Pizza.

"yeah, but its what Steve would do." 

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Ooh! I was wondering if he was actually sick! 😍

[Claire89]

Sam knew excactly what he was doing in the first part where he steals the bag hehe.  And I like how (it seems like) he tricks Bucky into being able to check if he is sick when he is helping him with his shoulder.. and I also like how you put Sam quotes from episode 2 in there.. like with the wheels turning in his head part.. I’m excited to see what happens next!

[angora48]

17 hours ago, WolfsBane said:

"Don't worry about it. We got this," Sam pushed back his hair, "eat something, then we can make a plan." 

"thought you weren't big on plans," he coughed a bit and took a bit of Pizza.

"yeah, but its what Steve would do." 

Ah, that's so sweet!

100% in favor of these new developments. I like allergy fics, but I LOVE a good sickfic and all that goes with it. I especially like Bucky not even realizing he was getting sick and not thinking that was possible.

[Papetite]

Even without the sneezing I loved it!!!! Can’t wait for the next update!

[RemedyBane]

On 3/31/2021 at 10:07 PM, MyOwnPrivateSFC said:

Ooh! I was wondering if he was actually sick! 😍

You know me too well ❤️ 

On 4/1/2021 at 6:30 AM, Claire89 said:

Sam knew excactly what he was doing in the first part where he steals the bag hehe.  And I like how (it seems like) he tricks Bucky into being able to check if he is sick when he is helping him with his shoulder.. and I also like how you put Sam quotes from episode 2 in there.. like with the wheels turning in his head part.. I’m excited to see what happens next!

Oh yes, he did hehehehe. Sam's gotta out stealth the asssassin I hope you like the new part! 

On 4/1/2021 at 10:44 AM, angora48 said:

Ah, that's so sweet!

100% in favor of these new developments. I like allergy fics, but I LOVE a good sickfic and all that goes with it. I especially like Bucky not even realizing he was getting sick and not thinking that was possible.

YAY i'm so glad you like it! I'm an awful decision-maker so I like to do both, whoops lol. 

On 4/1/2021 at 8:13 PM, Papetite said:

Even without the sneezing I loved it!!!! Can’t wait for the next update!

Ah thank you! the wait is over! here is the next part!

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMMENTING THEY REALLY MAKE MY DAY!!! (if theres anything yall wanna see me, just comment )

 

Part 4: 

"So what did Steve do when you got sick?" Sam leaned back in his chair and raised his brows, "you know.. a hundred years ago." 

Bucky just stared at him for a moment before speaking, "I didn't get sick, that was his thing." 

"OKaaay," Sam rolled his eyes, "What did you do for him, then?" 

"Sam, I grew up with asthma cigarettes, and cough syrup that had chloroform and cannabis in them," he raised a brow.

"I meant for comfort, you maniac," he winced at asthma cigarettes and really drugging your sickie, "I don't know what to expect with you. Do you get bad fevers? How do i help you if you're delirious." 

bucky glared, "I'm not going to be delirious." 

"Well I guess we'll find out," he sighed and looked around his apartment, "How about we just catch up on those movies you got on the list." 

"Steve's list," he stood up and walked to the DVDs, "it's his list.." 

Sam let it go and went to go get blankets and make Bucky some tea, hoping to at least sneak some cough syrup in it. 

Bucky saw a very bright pink case and grabbed it, hoping to embarrass Sam, and just got more confused, "legally blonde? when did being blonde become illegal?" 

Sam came back while he waited for the water to boil, "oooh, we gotta watch it." HE took it and put it in, "it's a staple. I know it's on Steve's list somewhere." 

"Why is it called 'Legally Blonde'?" 

"it's a joke about the blonde stereotype that they're dumb," he pulled Bucky to the couch and threw a blanket at him, "Get comfy, cause we're watching movies until you fall asleep." 

Bucky waited until Sam left to smile a bit. He was actually feeling really grateful for the company and comfort. He was starting to feel off. There was this pressure building in his sinuses, and he didn't want to be cold and miserable in his tiny apartment. 

Bucky was dozing lightly by the couch, just enjoying the calm, when Sam came back with tea, tissues, a trashcan, and popcorn. Bucky was actually impressed by how well he was able to carry it all. 

"Don't tell me you're already tired?" 

"I'm sick, I think that's how I'm supposed to feel." 

"At least you admit it," He handed him the tea, "drink it. I know your throat hurts. You already sound raspy."

"Thank you," Bucky took the drink in his metal hand and adjusted the blanket to fit better over him. He was worried that his good hand might start shaking from his fever and he would spill. 

"Alright," Sam played the movie and kept looking at Bucky's reactions to things. Throughout the movie, Bucky had some pop culture questions, that Sam was happy to answer but overall seemed to enjoy the movie. Bucky was so enthralled that he didn't even notice the odd taste of the tea. 

"fuck that guy," Bucky made a face at Warner and leaned back, "chivalry really is dead." 

"Yeah, nobody likes that guy," Sam tried not to smile at Bucky's reaction.

"She deserves better," Bucky finished his tea and set it down on a coaster on the table, "ahk.. Why is she doing this for him?" 

"Harvard is Harvard." 

Bucky continued to make a stink face every time Warner was on screen, "Reminds me of the guys who used to pick on Steve." 

"They preppy?" 

"Preppy?" 

"yeah, rich white boys who take advantage of what they got and pray on the little guy?" 

"Yup," Bucky scrunched his nose up, "Lost count of how many times Steve would come home bruised and bloody.." 

"Wait," Sam paused the movie and looked at Bucky, "you two lived together?" 

Bucky held up a hand before turning away, "Hetisch!" 

"Don't think a sneezing fit is getting you out of this question." 

"I'm- heatschiew!-eitschiew!" they were harsher than he remembered. Now that he mentioned Steve, he remembered how he used to be. He didn't like how much harsher they were now, "ugh." 

"bless you, now answer my question." 

Bucky sat up straight and sniffed, "Yeah, I thought Steve told you this?" 

"How did you two do that without raising the gay alarm?" 

"Actually I looked it up and I think we fall more in the Bisexual spot?" he was trying to catch up on everything, "Money was tight, it made sense to split rent. We would hit on girls and go on dates to keep up appearances. People just assumed Steve couldn't get a date with his size, and I was too much of a cake-eater."  he shrugged.

"A what?" Sam tried not to laugh, "What the hell is a cake-eater?" 

"a ladies man? too busy trying to flirt with everyone to settle down?"  

"oooh, so you a player?" Sam did a little suggestive dance, "haha, oh how the mighty have fallen." 

"Women love a man in uniform," He shrugged and wiggled his nose.

"Now I can't get this image outta my head," he shook his head before playing the movie. 

By the end of the movie, Bucky was fighting sleep, but still clearly invested. His nose was starting to look a bit pink as he had several sneezing fits and blows, making Sam pause the movie and rub his back. Sam had no idea that if he touched bucky's nose that he would sneeze, so he just thought the prolonged fits was a sign of him getting worse, fast. 

"Did you like it?" He turned off the tv and moved to face him.

"It's a good movie" Bucky's voice was starting to go. He was trying not to stifle, but his louder sneezes were hell on his throat. 

"Damn right it is. Elle Woods is a boss," Sam stood up, "Come on, let me show you to the guest room. You look like you're gonna pass out any second."

Bucky just nodded and stood up, taking the trashcan, tissues, and blanket with him. 

"Wake me up if you need anything, Ok? My room is across the hall." 

Bucky knew he was sincere but had zero intention of taking him up on that offer, "thanks." 

"Night, Buck." 

----

Bucky got to sleep pretty quickly, thanks to the secret nighttime cough syrup. He Didn't have any nightmares, but he did relive the last time he remembered feeling this bad. 

(Flashback)

"Stevie, I'm home," Bucky had just gotten home from a brutal shift at work and felt ready to collapse. The wind chill burned his throat and made his already freezing body like ice.

"Buck?" Steve came out of the bedroom and immediately moved to check his temperature, "What's wrong? Your voice sounds awful." 

Bucky kept his distance and held out a hand to stop him from coming any closer, " probably caught something on the doc. Probably just a chest cold-" Bucky ducked into his elbow with some harsh-sounding coughs that left him doubled over.

"Buck," Steve came closer and patted his back, "you caught my cold. Come sit down while I make you some tea." 

Bucky let himself be led to the couch and sat down, leaning his aching bones against the cushions, "Don't waste no medicine on me, Stevie. We can't afford new stuff."

"I know, It's just tea." Steve lied as he put some cough syrup in the tea, "Want me to put a fire?" 

"no, I don't want you near that fireplace. The dust-" as if on cue his nose itched something fierce and he turned into his elbow, "itchiew-ihkiew-tiew!" he sniffed and looked back up, "your asthma." 

"Bless you, baby," Steve came back with the tea and handed it to him, then running his fingers through his hair, "Ya know, one day you're gonna have to let me help you." 

"You are helping me," he sniffed and kissed Stevie's forehead.

"What happened to keeping a distance?" 

"can't catch a cold you already had.. and-" Bucky cleared his throat, "I just.."

Steve moved closer and wrapped his arms around Bucky, guiding his face to the crock of his neck, "I got you, baby" 

The Flashback moved forward to the following day when he was put on bed rest by Steve. He had gained a fever overnight and tucked into bed with a cold cloth on his forehead.

"It's nothing, Doll."

"You have a fever, that's something," Steve was wetting another cold cloth and running it down Bucky's chest. Steve had taken off his clothes in quite a hurry and it was a testament to how awful Bucky felt that he didn't make a lude comment. 

"I'll be good as new tomorrow, you'll see Dollface," Bucky smiled loopily, as Steve spiked his tea again, and promptly passed out. 

Steve had panicked himself into an asthma attack. By the time he got that under control, Bucky was snoring slightly, making Steve feel a whole lot better. He was just asleep. 

"I hate when you get fevers, baby.." Steve stayed by his bed and held his hand as he slept. He winced every time Bucky whimpered or looked uncomfortable, knowing this was something he couldn't help.

He was so cold. He could feel his whole body sweat, indicating his fever was rising, but he just wanted to get warm. He curled up into a ball to try to stay warm, but it felt futile. 

"Steve.." He begged in his sleep, wanting his boyfriend's warmth.

"Steve..' 

----

"Steve..! Steve.. steve.." Bucky felt someone shake him away and felt tears in his eyes, and he just wanted the shaking to stop. 

"bucky!" Sam was gently hitting his cheek, "Wake up buddy.." 

Bucky opened his eyes and thought for a second that he saw Steve standing there, but it slowly faded to see a worried Sam. 

The year was 2021... Steve was gone.

 

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Aw! Poor Bucky! 😢

[cara]

I love this so much!

[RemedyBane]

On 4/3/2021 at 5:02 AM, MyOwnPrivateSFC said:

Aw! Poor Bucky! 😢

ooooh, you ain't seen nothing yet, my dear. 

On 4/4/2021 at 2:40 PM, cara said:

I love this so much!

Well I love your comment so much!

TW: mentions of throwing up, and i've been told this is "Depress express" so proceed with caution.

Part 5: 

Sam had woken up to a muffled screaming sound. He woke up thinking there was a burglar but realized it was coming from Bucky's room. He knew those sounds all too well. He had plenty of nightmares coming home, and he couldn't even imagine what Bucky's looked like. He ran into the room and tried to get Bucky to wake up. He was sweating through the sheets. The words that came out of his mouth made his stomach drop. He stopped shaking him for a minute, not sure how he could even help him with this. Yeah, he was still grieving too, but he didn't have nearly the time they did. Mustering up the courage, he continued and eventually got Bucky to look at him. 

"It's Sam, James," he as afraid if he called him Bucky, he would think it was Steve, "Can you hear me?" 

Bucky just stared at him for a second, panting, eyes trying to fixate on his face. 

"hey," Sam touched his forehead, "you're doing the staring thing again," he was trying to lighten the mood. 

"Steve's gone." 

Sam put his hand down and nodded slowly, "yeah, Buck.. He's gone." 

Bucky seemed to choke, and for a second Sam thought he messed up calling him Bucky. Then seeing Bucky's face grow pale and the urgency in his eyes, he helped Bucky out of bed and rushed him to the toilet just in time for Bucky to throw up. 

"Jeeez," Sam patted his back and got a cold cloth, placing it on his neck, "It's gonna be ok, Buck." 

"Leave.." Buck heaved a bit, but nothing else came up. He looked ready to collapse and fell back against the tub, "Go.." 

"nuhuh," Sam flushed and moved to get another cold cloth, "I"m not leaving you like this." 

Bucky tried to glare, but he failed and his eyes just looked sad. 

Sam, loss for words of comfort, just sat next to him and rubbed his leg. 

They sat in silence for a bit before Sam felt Bucky's tighten. He looked over at him and noticed tears were running down Bucky's face. His eyes were fixated on the wall, clearly trying to ignore Sam's presence. 

Sam gently put an arm around Bucky and pulled him in. Once Bucky's head relented and rested on his shoulder, he spoke, "I miss him too." 

That's when the flood gates opened, and Bucky let out a soft sob. Sam could feel tears in his own eyes and used both hands to hold Bucky tight against his chest. It didn't take long for tears to fall down Sam's face. 

--- 

Sam was making tea when he heard Bucky approach. Once Bucky's stomach had settled, Sam had helped him back into bed and sat with him while he fell asleep. Sam had only left because he wanted to get the medicine ready for when he woke up. Apparently, that was sooner than he imagined. 

"I'm sorry," Bucky was looked at the floor, barely facing him; standing in the doorway like he was afraid to come in. 

"Buck,-" 

"let me," Buck glanced at him then back at the floor, "I couldn't talk about this with my therapist.. She made me feel like a weapon.. and being here.. having you take care of me.. it just opened a part of me I thought I had closed forever." 

"Why?" sam came closer, cautiously, "You don't need to be closed off, Buck. I loved Steve too, you can talk to me. Open up, man." 

"I don't know how-," Bucky looked at him and tried to hold it, but he felt the emotions surface again and had to look away.

"Look at me," Sam moved right in front of him and put a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at him, "This is a start." 

Bucky nodded slightly and leaned into Sam, letting the man hug him. He looked around the kitchen, needing something else to focus on, and noticed two cups on the table, "Someone else here?" 

"What?" Sam pulled back and followed his gaze to the cups, "Nah, I just thought I'd make us some tea, and we could talk?" 

Bucky huffed a sarcastic laugh, "i hate talking.." 

"Yeah?" Sam raised a brow and pulled him towards the chairs, "Steve told me you were quite the charmer back in the day." 

"It was all for show," Bucky sniffed and scrunched his nose up, "Needed to look like we were looking for dates.." he coughed harshly into his elbow before sitting down and taking the tea.

"So you mentioned," Sam wanted to talk about his dream, but... baby steps, "You and Steve were together?" 

"I told you we were," he sipped the tea and winced as he swallowed, "Shared a bed and everything." 

"What happened?" 

"Hydra," Bucky looked out the window, clearly trying to stop the tears. 

"nah," Sam shook his head, "There's something else. A girl?" 

"Peggy? no," Buck scrunched his nose up, "that happened after I fell. He thought I was dead.." 

"Then what's making you tense when I bring it up?" 

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek and balled up his fists, clearly reluctant to answer.

"You know you can tell me anything. I know you are his best mate." 

A tear slipped down his eye as he looked into the mug, "Was." 

"what?" 

"He's not here, is he," Bucky looked at Sam in the eyes and the pain and abandonment in them made Sam stop breathing. Bucky gripped the mug so tight in his real hand that it started shaking, "He went back there.. for her.." 

"For Peggy.." Sam nodded, want to push him further. He needed to get this out.

"She was there for the best parts.. But I was there for everything. I took care of him... I loved him... I should have been there when he fell into the ice-" his voice broke.

"Buck, that isn't your fault." 

"How hard is it to land a plane," The tears were falling faster, "She could have told him how to.." He sniffed and looked at Sam, "And then he's back.. and I think we can figure this new world out together." 

Sam held his gaze, wanting him to know he was listening and wouldn't interrupt. 

"I mean.. It could just be us again. Gain a bit of that piece we used to have. But I wasn't enough-" 

"Buck-" 

"I wasn't enough for him.. He wanted her.. She made him feel like a hero. But I thought he was a hero long before Captain America. He was always a hero to me." His voice was beginning to crack as he cried, "I always needed him.. I need him now.." He started to squeeze the cup harder, "I've been through hell and when he convinced me to get better and to have a life and find peace, he leaves.. he runs away again.. the second I start having hope again.. he's gone.." He started to breathe heavier, anger rising in him, "He left me here and went back to her. I don't want to be here. This was his idea. Therapy, helping the government with what I've done, you, the avengers, superheroes. This was all him. and he LEFT ME!" 

The cup shattered in his hands at the last words and the tea went everywhere. Bucky didn't seem to notice and just kept staring at Sam, breaking, "Why did he leave me?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but enough to shatter Sam's heart. 

Sam got out of the seat and pulled Buck into another hug, letting him cry into his shirt. The mug and spilled tea could wait. This was more important. 

-----

The talk was probably the best thing that had come out of their relationship. Bucky needed to rant and Sam needed to see the real Bucky. Spent, Bucky was fast asleep on the couch, cold cloth on his head. Sam was watching him from the chair, thinking about what was said and how he should go about it. All he knew, was that Bucky couldn't be alone. Not like this. Not ever. He knew he could never be Steve, but maybe he could be that someone who grounds him. Someone who keeps his head clear and a smile on his face. Maybe he'll just be the someone who he calls when he's hurt or lonely. Or maybe just someone with whom he can talk freely. Most of all, he just wants to be his friend.

 

[angora48]

Ooh, that's some good H/C right there! I love it when a character is dealing with a heavy emotional situation while they're sick, and if it's a strong, guarded guy who doesn't usually ask for help? *chef's kiss* Good on Sam for getting Bucky to open up - that's gonna help at least as much as the general caretaking.

[Papetite]

Omg! This is soooo good. And I usually don’t like the idea of Steve and Bucky as a couple, but holy crap, so good!!!! 

[Claire89]

Holy smokes, my heart 

thank you for writing this!

[RemedyBane]

On 4/6/2021 at 1:44 PM, angora48 said:

Ooh, that's some good H/C right there! I love it when a character is dealing with a heavy emotional situation while they're sick, and if it's a strong, guarded guy who doesn't usually ask for help? *chef's kiss* Good on Sam for getting Bucky to open up - that's gonna help at least as much as the general caretaking.

thank you so much for your comment! I really appreciate it :)! 

On 4/6/2021 at 6:08 PM, Papetite said:

Omg! This is soooo good. And I usually don’t like the idea of Steve and Bucky as a couple, but holy crap, so good!!!! 

hehe another person converted to Stucky muahaha! thank you so much! 

On 4/6/2021 at 7:50 PM, Claire89 said:

Holy smokes, my heart 

thank you for writing this!

You're welcome I'm so glad you liked it! hopefully, this next part will soothe your heart. 

 

part 6

Bucky woke up and winced at the light. his nose itched and he quickly ducked into his arm, "Itsch-itsch-itsch-tschiew!" he was starting to feel really stuffy and when he sniffed, his nose was too blocked to get much air in. 

"Bless you," Sam touched his forehead, smiling a bit, "that was adorable." 

Bucky rolled his eyes and slowly sat up, only to become dizzy and put his head in his hands.

"Hey, take it easy," Sam rubbed his back, "you just got your stomach to settle."

Bucky leaned back against the couch and put his hands down, looking miserable, eyes fixated on the fire that was going.

"Are you cold?" 

Bucky just shrugged, barely registering the change in temperature when Sam left his side.

"You look cold," Sam wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, "Seriously, Buck. What's going on in that head of yours?" 

Bucky cleared his throat, "I used do bake the fire for when sdeve was sick." 

"Sdeve?" Sam teased and gently nudged him, "What else did you do for him?" 

"Whadever he wandted be do," Bucky scrunched his nose up and coughed, "I was always so scared whed he god sick.." 

"Yeah, he said he had a shit immune system." 

Bucky let out a small laugh which caused a coughing fit, "He didd't have ode." 

"I'm surprised he let you take care of him." 

"He had do choice," He paused to stifle some sneezes, "His fever would ged so high he couldd't bove." 

"You ever catch it?" 

Bucky shrugged, "dried do hide id, bud he always kdew." 

"of course he did," Sam passed him the tissue box and waited until he was done before speaking, "Steve knew you inside and out." 

"Heitsch-eitsch-itchew!" Bucky ducked into his elbow and moaned, "He kdew by dicks" 

"woah-" Sam started laughing and look fake scandalized.

"DO DO.." he put his index fingers together perpendicularly, "D!" He tried to pronounce his T's but it wasn't happening.

"Yeah, I got the D," Sam teased and rubbed his back, "Ticks, I got ya." 

Bucky relaxed a bit and smirked, "He kdew dhad doo." 

"Serious question," Sam tried to pull a straight face, "Who's the bottom?" 

Bucky punched him lightly and made him fall off the couch.

---- 

After a VERY hot shower and actually taking some medicine, Bucky was much easier to understand and got a bit of his strength back. He was still far too warm, and decided to forgo a shirt. 

"In the kitchen, Buck," Sam called while over a pot.

"What's in the pot?" 

"Daddy's chicken soup," Sam looked proud, "You'll be feeling better with a bowl of this." He threw more seasoning in there and did a little dance.

Bucky watched with a small smile, "That's cute." 

"you like that?" he did the little dance towards Bucky and laughed, "You got some moves?" 

"dot since 1936," He scrunched his nose up and walked past him to sit in a chair, "Sbells good." 

"You can't smell shit," Sam leaned against the counter and looked at him, "So I have another question..." 

The tone in his voice made Bucky nervous and looked at his vibranium arm. 

"What are these 'ticks'?" 

Bucky looked up and realized he should not have said that. He blamed his fever, "Wasdn't very good at hiding it." 

"Nah," Sam shook his head, "Steve mentioned something a while back about it. I remember," He pointed at him and walked closer.

Bucky instinctively put his leg out to stop him, "What are you doigg?" 

"Testing a theory," Sam moved his leg and walked closer, holding out a finger.

Bucky mentally cursed Steve for telling anyone, and grabbed his hand, "Don't you dare." 

"So it is true, then?" 

"Depedds, what did he tell you?" 

"Nuhuh," Sam fought against his hand, "you tell me what's got you nervous." 

They had a stare off for a bit before Bucky relented, "Why did Steve tell you?" 

"He was reminiscing," Sam put his hand down, "He was trying to convince me to help him save you, and If I saw you as a human and not a machine,-" 

Yeah, I get it." Bucky looked down.

"Hey," Sam moved even closer and touched his arm, "I'm with you. You know that, right? I don't regret anything." 

"Maybe I do," Bucky looked back at him and sighed, "I"m sorry. You risked a lot to help me.. and i appreciate it-" He felt Sam's finger tap his nose and ducked into his wrist, "Eischew... hih-ignschiew!" 

Sam burst out laughing, "I thought he was kidding." 

"Dhis is whad I get for apologizing-" He turned away, "Heitsch!" 

"How did you wear that mask?" 

Bucky sniffed, "I was pumped full of shit I dod't udderstadd. I didd't feel bost thiggs." 

"Steve thought it was cute." 

"I know," he smiled slightly, "If he was ever bad at be, he would flick by dose.. Sedd be in fits for hours." 

"Thats cruel." 

"He'd bake it up to be," he shrugged and sniffed.

 "aww, domestic supersoldiers," Sam fake pouted and went to check the soup, "Seriously, He never shut up about you, man."

"All lies," he coughed a bit, "I biss hib." 

"I know," Sam poured some soup into bowls and walked back over, "But he loved you more than anything in the world." 

"I kdow." 

----------------------------

They spent the evening tell stories about Steve and laughing; well mostly coughing on Bucky's end. 

"Seriously? he tried to fight a guy over pineapples?" Sam's eyes were wide, laughter behind them.

"I'm allergic," he rolled his eyes, "He gave it to me on accident, I hadn't even eaten anything yet, and Steve was furious." 

Over the course of the meal, Bucky's sinuses' opened up, which Sam took pride in, and Bucky's stuffiness was practically gone. 

"How allergic are you?" 

"Barely." Bucky gestured to his neck, "Just some hives. He always freaked out when I was sick," He looked up at the ceiling, "If he knew I was sick.. " 

"He seems like the mother hen type." 

"oh, big time. It would be a fight to let me help him make the soup. He couldn't cook to save his life back then, so he relented, but you should have seen how tense he got when I coughed. Poor kid would barely sleep until I was better." 

"Steve really had to save everyone, huh." 

Bucky nodded and closed his eyes, "Punk." 

Sam stood up and grabbed his arm, "Come on, your falling asleep." 

"I"m ok." 

"yeah, sure," Sam helped him up, "Sleep, and I"ll see you in the morning." 

"ok," Bucky got under the covers and closed his eyes. Just as Sam was about to shut the door he whispered, "Thank you." 

"anytime, Buck. Anytime." 

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Aw! I liked this part a lot! 😍

[Papetite]

I think this is the best part yet!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻

[Jettous]

The h/c is just top notch. I love all the stories Bucky has. 

[spicy]

This is so amazing. Definitely what I needed after binging all three captain America movies. Please continue!

[emten10]

This is so good!! I just started the show and I quickly watched the second episode so I could read this. 😂 I’m really happy I did because this is great!

[SneezeKitties]

Hello! I read this way back when you were posting it, I couldn't leave a comment because I was waiting for validation, anyway it finally happened soooo....

HOLY MOLY THIS WAS SO GOOD!!!  The way you wrote Bucky and Sam were just perfect!! I loved the show and reading this was just the added bonus I didn't know I needed!!! I can hardly ever find a good fic on sick bucky, so thank you so much for taking the time to write this!  hope more come in the future!