Going Too Fast (Good Omens)

[Fuzzy&Warm]

99 fic ideas on the wall. 99 fic ideas. post one now pass it around 105 fic ideas on the wall.  I am never going to have an empty queue because all I do is think of new ways for the Snake of Eden to suffer. 

Also Crowley presents as female before this starts, though I use he/him pronouns, so we can get a little extra pain in here.

Going Too Fast

Crowley woke slowly, opening one eye and then the other and pushing the strands of hair he was growing long again out of them.  Then he frowned as he wondered why the window he was looking at didn’t seem familiar.

Ah, yes Paris, hotel room he’d convinced Aziraphale they should take a holiday together.

Closing his eyes again Crowley basked in the memories of the night before.  Of dinner and good wine, he had even indulged in dessert, Crowley rubbed absently at his stomach as it still felt rather full.  There had also been some bad attempts at partner dancing, but whatever they had the rest of their lives to work on that.

Rubbing his eyes to try and dissipate the slight pressure behind them Crowley sat up and to his shock found the other side of the bed empty. 

The demon listened for a moment, but didn’t hear the shower or bath.  Quickly he grabbed his phone off the bedside table and checked for a message from Aziraphale.  There were no messages, but his phone did reveal that he’d actually slept all through Thursday and it was now Friday morning.  Well that explained it then Aziraphale had probably gotten bored and gone off to sight see or try out every bakery in the city, probably both.

Crowley threw the covers back and stood up to get dressed and go find him only to immediately sit back down again as the sudden movement sent the whole room spinning.  He moaned and rubbed his stomach as it clenched up in protest.

What was wrong with him?

He’d felt perfectly fine before going to bed.  Slight headache, but there had been a ton of wine and physical activity and not a lot of water.  Dehydration was to be expected.  His nose had felt a bit congested, but hey travel tended to do that to people.  Crowley actually considered it a great human achievement that the act of seeing the sights and exploring the world could be rendered completely miserable in such a wide variety of ways.  And even if he had done a piss poor job of sobering up, and given how much he remembered Crowley knew he hadn’t, sleeping for so long should have gotten rid of any lingering effects.  Gingerly he got up a second time and managed to stumble his way into the bathroom.

The reflection in the mirror made him wish he’d stayed in bed.  Dear Satan he looked awful.   His face was pale, save the splotches of pink around his nostrils; his normally well styled hair now a complete disaster.  The yellow irises had obscured all the white of his eyes and they were…leaky.

Speaking of leaky his stomach clenched once more and he felt something running down his leg.

Crowley sat down on the toilet in shock and looked down to see that it was blood, but he wasn’t cut anywhere so that meant…well it certainly explained the cramps.  Crowley sighed and leaned his head back.  He’d just felt like presenting female for that first night.  He had gotten a new dress for the occasion and he had made the effort to fill it properly.  People just seemed to stare less that way.  Clearly he’d put too much effort into it.

What else could go wrong?

His answer was a sharp tickle that came out of nowhere and had him drawing a deep breath and then snapping forward into his hands. “huhh’ESHu! ESSHHh!”

Crowley was sorry he’d asked.

He sniffled thickly and rolled up a wad of toilet paper to blow his nose as the tissues just seemed too far away to bother with.  Tossing it in the trash when he was finished Crowley groaned and placing his elbows on his knees dropped his head, which now felt like it weighed fifty pounds, into his hands. 

He really hoped Aziraphale came back soon.