Sneezy Halpert (The Office/Jim Halpert)

[ToastedBagel]

Hey! So I've seen quite a lack in "The Office" sneezefics on here, so I decided to write one.

Nothing that special, just was bored and was really wanting a Sneezy Jim, so here ya go 😋  Let me know if you want me to write more!

 

Heshchscheeww!

A sneeze rang through the mostly silent office building. Before anyone had a chance to say bless you, Dwight burst through the door of Michael’s office and into the crowded workplace, scowling. His hands were on his hips and he was tapping his foot ever so slightly.

“Who just sneezed?” he asked impatiently, scanning the room.

“Jim,” a couple of coworkers chimed in unison.

Dwight marched over to Jim’s desk and knelt beside him, making Jim lean away in annoyance.

“If you’re sick, you go home,” Dwight whispered, “it’s company policy.”

Jim rolled his eyes at the strange man who was nearly inches from his face. Uncomfortably, he brought his hands to the back of his neck, trying to ignore the pounding in his head.

“I’m fine, now can you get out of my face?” Jim knew that was a lie. His headache was getting worse by the second, even though he had taken enough Tylenol to last him a week, and his throat was on fire. He would love to go home and lie down, but he needed the money. Well, part of that was true. He did need the money, but most of it was because of Pam. He loved staring at her beautiful face all day. Michael had put his desk not too far from reception, giving him the perfect view of the brown-haired girl.

Dwight narrowed his eyes in suspicion and walked the two feet back to his own desk but stopped as he pulled out his chair.

“What?” Jim asked, looking up again after realizing that Dwight was staring at him again.

“You’re lying.”

“Yes, Dwight. I’m lying because I just can’t stand to be away from you,” Jim said, pretending to be sweet.

Dwight sat down in his chair, eyeing Jim closely. “Sneeze again, and you’re out. I’m onto you Halpert.”

Jim exchanged glances with Pam, who was trying to contain her laughter, making him snicker himself. He felt his cheeks getting hot, wondering if she could tell. He looked away nervously and fiddled with the pen in his hands. He was quite fidgety today, and he couldn’t figure out why.

Dwight was on a mission, but Jim was determined to derail his plan. He just had to not sneeze. Easy, right?

Wrong.

Jim miserably worked for a while, glancing up at Dwight ever so often. He knew at some point he was going to lose this battle and Dwight was going to happily gather his things and shoo him out the door. Why did he want Jim gone so bad? Was it because he had passed his sale count this month? Either way, Jim was trying to draw out the battle for as long as possible. That lasted a whole of maybe 10 minutes before he got the faint tickle in the back of his sinuses. He wiped the bottom of his nose with his finger.

“You wanna just call it a day and go home, Halpert?” Dwight asked without looking up from his paperwork.

“Nope,” Jim replied breathily, trying his best to ignore the inevitable, “I’m g-good”

Dwight chuckled, “3… 2… 1…,”

Heshccheshewww!!

A sneeze escaped Jim’s nose. And another, giving him no time to react, ending in a half, semi-failed stifle.

Heshxxhcxt!!

Jim sighed in both relief and frustration.

“That’s it,” Dwight said, jumping up from his chair. “Michael! Jim has swine flu!”

“Dwight, I don’t h-have swine f- Hehehscheww!!”

Another sneeze snuck up on him, as he frantically turned sideways in an attempt to cover it with his sleeve.

“Bless you,” Pam said

Michael stepped out of his office.

“Jim, go home.”

Defeated, Jim gathered his things and headed towards Pam, who was holding his jacket.

Hestxxtch!!

He tried to turn away and stifle as he grabbed his coat from Pam.

“Bless you, again,” she said as she gently laid her hand on his shoulder in sympathy, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe?”

He shot Pam a smirk as he grabbed a couple of tissues for the ride home. He turned and opened the door to head home as he heard Dwight yell at him.

“You won’t be missed!”

Jim rolled his eyes, “Swine flu my ass.”

 

Edited September 29, 2019 by ToastedBagel

[RedVelvetHeart]

Awwww I love it! Dwight is perfect😀 

[Reader]

I second that!! Dwight is such a comic relief and you really nailed these characters! Awesome start! 

[2SHY222]

This is perfect! I love this show and this story reads just like an episode. Please write more

[ThatSneezyGirl]

This is so cute!! You’re totally spot on with all fo the characters. Can’t wait to read more 😍