Phoenix Wright- The Telltale Sneeze

[Heathcliff]

I just tried Phoenix Wright for the first time two weeks ago- just wrote this for some fun. Comment if you want this to continue.

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THE TELLTALE SNEEZE

JUDGE: The court will rise. We are here today to consider the case of Cassandra Innocent, who is accused of the murder of Jennifer Pretty. I don't have to remind the court that this is one of the most serious crimes someone can be charged with- and the verdict is not something you should decide on without a great deal of thought. The prosecution shall set out the case.

PHOENIX: (thinks) Cassandra... a young woman, 19 or 20? University age. A white girl, wearing a pink cardigan. Looking down at her hands. She seems to be on the verge of tears. But wouldn't I be if I was guilty? No, stop- Mia would never make such a snap judgment. I have to take this case carefully.

EDGEWORTH: Your honour- the facts of the case are as follows. Cassandra and the deceased, Jennifer, were supposed to be acting in a play at their university- St David's College. It was a production of "The Samurai's Last Stand".

MAYA: Ohh, I love that play so much! I saw that in Tokyo and I was in tears! The way the samurai says that-

PHOENIX: Maya! Not now! Pay attention, this is crucial!

EDGEWORTH: It seems that both Jennifer and Cassandra were in competition for the main female role- Lady Hummingbird, the dark samurai. It is also confirmed that Cassandra and Jennifer had fallen out over a relationship with a young man the year previously- so the ground was laid for the crime.

JUDGE: Mr Edgeworth! Kindly restrict yourself to the facts- do not speculate.

EDGEWORTH: My apologies your honour. But I must resume- we come now to the day of the crime. There was a rehearsal of the play, which went wrong- a light fell from the college's theatre and crashed to the floor, narrowly missing Miss Pretty. The understandable fear induced by this caused her to aggresively confront Cassandra- leading to Cassandra Innocent shouting "I'll kill you."

MAYA: Oh my goodness! That's significant, surely.

PHOENIX: Yes- but we haven't heard about the murder itself yet.

JUDGE: The murder, Mr Edgeworth- details?

EDGEWORTH: Yes, your honour. That evening, Jennifer Pretty offered to stay behind after the rehearsal and tidy up the props- according to witnesses, she was trying to calm down after the incident. And then, we have to move to 10pm, when the cleaner came into the theatre- and found Miss Pretty's body.

JUDGE: Please expand on this Mr Edgeworth.

EDGEWORTH: At 10pm, the cleaner- Mr Steven Sweep- entered the college theatre as is his normal workday. He found the body of Jennifer Pretty strangled and lying on the floor. He ran off and telephoned for the police.

JUDGE: But, Mr Edgeworth- where is the evidence that Cassandra Innocent committed this murder? You have presented us with motive but nothing else.

EDGEWORTH: My apologies, your honour. I forgot the key detail. Before Mr Sweep left the scene, he heard another person in the theatre. He could not see them, but he heard a very loud woman's sneeze. And it is well known on campus that Miss Innocent is a very loud sneezer. I propose to demonstrate it here in the court.

JUDGE: Well, this all seems perfectly sensible. Carry on.

EDGEWORTH: I call the defendent to the stand, and request she smell this pepper pot that I have brought to court.

MAYA: Phoenix! This is ridiculous! We have to do something!

PHOENIX: Hold on Maya- wait for the right time.

EDGEWORTH: Are you Miss Cassandra Innocent?

CASSIE: Pl-please call me Cassie.

EDGEWORTH: You have no objections to sneezing for us?

CASSIE: N-no. (sniffs pepper pot) It- it tickles! Aah- ah-ah... HAH-YISH-SHOOOOOO!

JUDGE: Bless you! What a loud sneeze! Quite the loudest I've ever heard!

EDGEWORTH: Indeed. Mr Sweep heard a very loud woman's sneeze in the college theatre that night- no-one else was around. Jennifer and Cassie were at each other's throats. You see, m'lud, the case is watertight.

MIA: (from beyond) Phoenix.

PHOENIX: Mia?

MIA: (from beyond) Phoenix- don't you see what a load of nonsense this is?

PHOENIX: Actually- yeah. But I'm scared because I don't know where to go with this.

MIA: (from beyond) We'll worry about that later. Do what is right.

PHOENIX: Ok.

OBJECTION!

PHOENIX: So you identified the culprit because she has a very loud sneeze?

EDGEWORTH: It proves she was there! Mr Sweep said so!

PHOENIX: That is ridiculous! Is a sneeze like a fingerprint?

EDGEWORTH: Erm...

PHOENIX: Are you honestly telling me you've never met another woman in your life who has loud sneezes?

EDGEWORTH: Er- but the evidence is still compelling.

PHOENIX: Is it? Even if Cassie was there- where is the proof that she comitted the crime? Did you find fingerprints on the body?

EDGEWORTH: The killer used gloves, but so what! We have found the woman responsible!

JUDGE: I disagree Mr Edgeworth. It seems as though you have overlooked quite a number of things. Therefore, I am adjourning this case for a day. The defence is granted time to develop its case.

COURT ADJOURNED.

 

To be continued...

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 8, 2019 by Heathcliff

[Anmeroth]

Seems cool so far! Hope you're still interested in making more!