AngelEyes Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 It was late one evening and the others had long since gone home when Jack and Ianto were huddled over a table of alien debris that had come through the rift that week, trying to catalogue it. Suddenly Jack grabbed at an object, crowing with delight. “Ha! I know what this is!” Ianto looked at him expectantly. “It’s an alien sex toy!” Ianto looked skeptical. “You’ve said that about things before. That have Definitely Not turned out to be alien sex toys.” Jack blushed. “Ok, ok. I may have gotten a few things mistaken. But I definitely recognize this! Wanna give it a try?” Ianto took the object to examine. It was a small cylinder with dials rotating around it and a button on the end. “What does it do?” “It’s what you might call a mood enhancer. You line up the dials to the right setting, push the button, and it sends out pheremones to get you in the mood and enhance your pleasure,” he held out his hand for the device. “Well, that sounds safe enough. Do you know the right settings?” Ianto asked, handing it over. Jack started fiddling with the dials. “Of course I do!” With a couple more turns he held it up, “Should be just there.” He pressed the button. Nothing happened. They waited a moment. “Do you feel anything?” Jack asked, sniffing absently and rubbing at his nose. “No. How fast is it supposed to work?” Sniffing again he answered, “Usually right away.” “Maybe it’s broken.” Ianto’s brow creased as he watched Jack scrub harshly at his nose again. “Are you ok?” “I’m fi...ine...Haaachsh!” He shook his head as if to clear it. “Bless…” Ianto started to say but was interrupted by Jack sneezing again. “Haaachsh! Haaachsh! Haaachshoo!” “Bless you! What’s going on?” Ianto passed him the neatly pressed handkerchief from his suit pocket. ““Haaachsh! I don’t know. My nose is really itchy all of a sudden. Hah Haaachshhh! Haaachssshhhh! Haachhsshhhooo! And I can’t stop sneezing!” He tried blowing his nose, hoping to alleviate the ticklish sensation, but to no avail. Ianto studied him sympathetically. “Uh, Jack? Are you sure you got the settings on that device right?” “Haaachshhh! I thought so...but it has been a while...Haaachssshhhh! Haachhsshhhooo!” “Should we call Owen?” “NO! He’ll just yell at me for misusing alien artifacts again. Haaachsh! Haaachshhh! Haaachssshhhh! And tell me I deserve this for it. Haachhsshhhooo! And probably laugh his ass off. I’m sure it’ll wear off.” He blew his nose miserably. Ianto tried not to grin. “You’re probably right. How long do you think it’ll take to wear off?” Jack thought a moment. “Well the sex pheremones usually last a couple hours, so hopefully no longer than that. Haachhsshhhooo!” “Well then, you might as well make yourself comfortable.” Ianto led him over to the couch to sit. “I’ll go fetch some more handkerchiefs. I think you’ll be needing them.” “Thanks Ianto. Haaachsh! Haaachshhh! Haaachssshhhh! Haachhsshhhooo! Sorry this didn’t go quite like I planned.” Ianto grinned at him. “At least this didn’t turn me purple or cause odd tentacle growth.” Jack grinned back. “Hey, that made for an interesting night.” Ianto shuddered and headed for the stairs, the sound of Jack sneezing behind him. Link to comment
Jelloicious Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 Oh, Jack!! (You kinda deserved that one!) Link to comment
Seeker Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 Haha, maybe he's still right about it being a toy! Link to comment
Selene Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 (edited) OMG, I love everything about this! This was such a fun piece to read! First of all, I loved how they just use some obscure alien sex toy they've just found in what is basically a bunch of space garbage Jack clearly is too adventurous with those things.... Which would also explain this: 22 hours ago, AngelEyes said: “You’ve said that about things before. That have Definitely Not turned out to be alien sex toys.” Ohh... the images that came to my mind reading that line... 22 hours ago, AngelEyes said: “Should we call Owen?” “NO! He’ll just yell at me for misusing alien artifacts again. Haaachsh! Haaachshhh! Haaachssshhhh! And tell me I deserve this for it. Haachhsshhhooo! And probably laugh his ass off. I’m sure it’ll wear off.” He blew his nose miserably. This was so perfect! Jack's frantic "NO!" and the fact that you wrote "misusing alien artifacts again" This was such a perfect little detail! Like, how many times did that happen in the past already? I could literally see Owen rolling his eyes at Jack like there's no tomorrow should he ever find out about this And then you killed me with the ending! 22 hours ago, AngelEyes said: Ianto grinned at him. “At least this didn’t turn me purple or cause odd tentacle growth.” Jack grinned back. “Hey, that made for an interesting night.” Edited July 4, 2018 by Selene Link to comment
Shay Posted July 5, 2018 Share Posted July 5, 2018 Poor Jack, but yeah he probably deserved it. This was a really cute, funny story and I enjoyed reading it. Link to comment
AngelEyes Posted July 6, 2018 Author Share Posted July 6, 2018 @Jelloicious @Shay He probably did deserve it. LOL! Glad you liked it, it was super fun to write! @ReidSeeker You never know, he give it another go... @Selene I have this head canon that Jack generally thinks he knows what a lot of things are and sometimes they aren't what he thinks, to unfortunate consequences. Also, he likes to get "creative" with things he thinks he knows the use of, also to unfortunate consequences. And Ianto is generally happy to go along with it, despite the mishaps. And I'm pretty sure Owen has seen a few of these consequences as a result and gives Jack endless crap about it! LOL! Link to comment
Selene Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 I like your head canon! Jack has just such a cheeky, slightly boyish air about him which perfectly fits the scenario's you've described. I also see him as the eternal adventurer. Always questing, always looking into things a bit more, trying to find answers to questions he does not even know he has until he starts exploring a thing. I think that's also what somehow connected him to the Doctor. These endless possibilites of experience new things. And I also see him being somewhat extra adenturous to impress Ianto with his knowledge and to show him new, exciting things. Link to comment
AngelEyes Posted July 7, 2018 Author Share Posted July 7, 2018 3 hours ago, Selene said: And I also see him being somewhat extra adenturous to impress Ianto with his knowledge and to show him new, exciting things. Oh most definitely!!! He really is a big show off. Not that Ianto isn't swept off his feet just by Jack being Jack, he doesn't really need to put in such effort. Fortunately, Ianto himself is generally up for an adventure and pretty cool headed and good natured when it doesn't turn out quite as planned. Link to comment
Selene Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 24 minutes ago, AngelEyes said: Fortunately, Ianto himself is generally up for an adventure and pretty cool headed and good natured when it doesn't turn out quite as planned. Oh yes, Jack needs someone like him. Just imagine how things would turn out if Jack would be with Owen. After one accidental case of odd tentacle growth, Owen would be so done with everything Link to comment
AngelEyes Posted July 7, 2018 Author Share Posted July 7, 2018 1 hour ago, Selene said: Just imagine how things would turn out if Jack would be with Owen. After one accidental case of odd tentacle growth, Owen would be so done with everything Oh God!!!! That cracked me up! I feel like Owen has enough to deal with sorting out Jack and Ianto's occasional mishaps that they can't manage themselves, that he considers himself scarred for life. Link to comment
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