A Meta Meeting With A Fictional Character (Westworld/Theresa/metafic)

[Chanel_no5]

So this is what @Reader more or less challenged me to write, because I accidentally told her I have these meta meetings with fictional characters where I drag out various scenarios to put them in. They’re generally not too happy whenever they get a visit from me, but I try to give them valuable rewards. I really do. This is how these things usually happen, in my mind.

This is a "broken fourth wall"-conversation I had with Theresa Cullen from Westworld. And yes, this is actually how fetish fics and regular fanfiction are usually created by me. I meet with them. I throw scenarios and questions at them. And this is the story about one of those meetings I had last night. 

****

“Hi, Theresa,” I say as I enter her office without knocking. She looks up at me, sighs and rolls her eyes.

“Oh great, you’re back.”

“Is that the way you’re speaking to someone who’s bent reality to make sure you and Bernard get to stay together?” I ask as I plop down in one of the visitor’s chairs.

“No, but that’s the way I’m speaking to someone who keeps showing up with requests for me to carry out. Suspiciously often with the main thing being that I sneeze.”

“What can I say? You have the most striking nose. It’s too gorgeous to leave alone for too long.”

“Too long?” she echoes. “It hasn't been left alone for a single day in two fucking weeks! I’m surprised I haven’t been subjected to a lovely, all-clogged-up, sinus infection yet.”

I shake my head.

“I’m not into it when it gets too messy.”

“That’s what I said earlier today, but you still had to make sure I got…” she makes a disgusted face. It’s actually somewhat cute. “… stuff, all over my face, and my sleeve.”

“But you didn’t get caught,” I remind her. Theresa only scoffs, not even deeming it worthy of an answer.

“I assume you’re not here to apologise,” she says and reaches for her cigarettes. “So get to the fucking point.”

“It’s amazing how a woman as eloquent and witty as you keeps throwing the f-word around like that,” I say. “Where I come from that would be considered low intelligence.”

She takes out a cigarette from the metal case, lights it, and inhales deeply.

“Get. To. The fucking point.”

“Okay. I’ve been checking the poll I made on the forum, about favourite allergens, and apparently cats is the most popular one. That and flowers.”

Theresa smokes and says nothing, but she has a wry look in her eyes.

“I was thinking about whether or not you’re allergic to cats, but you actually don’t strike me as that. I admit the horse allergy was a bit of a stretch too, just to fit the Western setting, but I’m not sure I can picture you being allergic to animals at all.”

Theresa’s lip twitches a bit in something that never fully becomes a smile. Or a smirk. Yeah, smirk is probably more accurate.

I continue.

“So, cats, then. It could be a bit difficult to get you into a situation with a cat in the first place, but I’m sure I can do it if I’m in a pinch.”

She snorts.

“Oh I’m convinced you can find some backdoor way, Miss.”

“But the problem is that I can’t actually see you as allergic to cats. In fact, I think you have a cat, back at wherever you stay when you’re not on work duty. You probably have neighbours looking after it while you’re on work rotations.”

Theresa shrugs a little and exhales a cloud of smoke.

“I’m not sure whether I should file a lawsuit for stalking yet, or if I should wait.”

“I take it you do, then.”

“Have a cat? Yeah I do.” She flicks off some ash into the ashtray and takes another deep breath of smoke. “And I would be pretty fucking pissed if you made me allergic to him.”

“Nah, don’t worry. I have two of them myself, I know how important they can be. So, what else can I do with you? I like the flower thing, but while the trope is pretty common, I can’t really see Bernard bringing you flowers and you turning out to be allergic to them. I mean, if I really put a lot of effort into it, I might be able to get it to work, but I’m lazy.”

“When it comes to these matters, I think you’re pretty ambitious,” Theresa replies. “I don’t think I’ve sneezed as much in the past thirty years as I have the past two weeks.”

“Careful. I can go back and change your past as well,” I remind her. She looks back at me, annoyed, yet somewhat amused, but not particularly intimidated.

“You’re such a little brat, you know that, right?”

“I know.” I smile at her. She doesn’t return it. I think she would probably throw me head-first out of her office if she could, but since she’s a fictional character and I’m currently writing her, I can come and go as I please. Boy, that pisses her off to no end.

“Do you have a point with this visit?”

“Obviously.”

She nods.

“Then would you mind getting to it? I have work to do.”

“Not to mention you can’t wait to get home and get a good fuck, huh?”

She actually blushes a little at this, and it surprises me. So it’s far more impactful than she wants to let on, this affair. We can work with this. We both know I can put her into any scenario I want, but it works much better if she’s at least somewhat cooperative. 

“How about I come up with some idea to shut the park down for a couple of days, scheduled mandatory government safety inspection protocol or some crap like that, leaving you on forced downtime. No guests, no work, yet you’re still forced to stay on location. You and Bernie could go out and eat in one of the restaurants, because by now you’re so well acquainted it wouldn’t seem odd even if you’re two straight…”

I can’t help smirking a bit at that.

“… oh, that’s another thing I’m curious about, I know you love Bernard, and I don’t question your feelings for each other – not one bit – but 'straight' is a bit of an exaggeration when it comes to your sexual orientation, isn’t it?”

She shrugs again.

“Does it matter?”

“Not really. I’m just curious. You don't have a gender preference, do you?”

“If I put it this way; I like sex. But it’s more important to me what person I have sex with, than what said person is equipped with.”

“I love that answer. And I love what else it implies.”

She puts out the cigarette and blows the final plume of smoke through her nostrils. Such elegant, naturally arched nostrils. Oh my God, what a nose this woman has.

“Enlighten me. What do you think it implies?”

“That despite her harsh attitude, at heart, Theresa Cullen is a true romantic.”

She gives me a warning glare and takes yet another cigarette out.

“You’d better not shout that around.”

I take the lighter from her desk. I know Bernard gave it to her, and that she truly treasures it for that reason alone. I know about the note she left him after he gave it to her. “A flame from my flame.” If that’s not the words of a true romantic, I don’t know what is.

“Isn’t it sad how you live some 35 plus years in the future from me, and yet a woman still can’t be in charge and have emotions at the same time?”

“That supposed point you keep trying to get to, is it in here somewhere?” she says impatiently.

“Sorry.” I lean forward and light her cigarette for her. God, I’ve always wanted to do that. It’s not that I like smoking, but it’s one hell of a visually aesthetic thing, that’s for sure. Especially when the smoker in question is an accomplished middle-aged woman who looks like she is perfectly on top of everything.

“Say we get the park to shut down without having it being an emergency but rather a scheduled thing, skeleton staff maybe even, but of course you would both be required to remain here, being the bosses of your respective departments…”

She moves the cigarette from one hand to the other and leans back in her chair, crossing her legs. She looks a bit more comfortable. That’s good. Despite my sadistic tendencies, I honestly like this woman and I don’t wish anything truly bad on her.

“… you could have a nice, long dinner in one of the restaurants, take a walk together, and then go home to either of your apartments and…” I give her a twisted smile. “… spend the next 48 hours in bed together.” My smile softens into one of genuine compassion. “I know those moments you can steal aren’t enough for either of you. I can give you that.”

“What do you expect in return, then?” she asks tiredly, putting the end of the cigarette to her lips.

“I was just wondering… that cigarette… that smoke, rising from it… does it ever bother your nose?”

She raises an eyebrow.

“This little sneeze fetish thing really isn’t as charming as you think.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’s charming at all. Does it?”

She knows what I want to hear, and she knows that if I don’t like what she says, I’ll edit it to fit my liking anyway. She looks somewhat resigned for a moment, but the reward is greater than the labour involved, so it’s not even up for discussion.

“From time to time. If the smoke gets into my nose a specific way, I can’t really describe it, it gets right to that spot, you know? That spot where it feels like an itch is blooming, like a flower unfolding its petals?”

I nod.

“And it just keeps spreading, it itches so much… and my breath begins to hitch… my eyes water…”

These things are playing out in real time as she speaks. The smoke is teasing and tickling her nose, driving her nearly insane.

“And I need to sneeze… hahh… I need to sneeze so bad… huhhh…”

Her chest is rising and falling with each hitching breath, her eyes are closed and her makeup is slightly smudged from the tears welling up. Her nostrils have that crinkled-up, arched look that truly makes it look like this beautiful nose is being tortured by the desperate need to sneeze.

“HuhhESSSHHHoo!”

She snaps forward with the force of the sneeze, not making the slightest attempt at covering or holding it back. I guess I only have myself to blame for giving her that inclination, but I get some of the spray right on me.

Theresa opens her eyes and gives me a cynical smile.

“Sorry about that.”

“No, you’re not,” I say, laughing a little. How can I not? I had that one coming. And it’s not like I can catch anything from her. She’s just make-believe. “Bless you. I think we both got what we wanted today. I’ll leave you alone now.”

I stand up and head for the door, but then I turn around and add;

“I’ll be back tomorrow. We’re not quite done with the next chapter of 'To Remain Standing' yet.”

Theresa sighs and makes a dismissive gesture with the hand holding the cigarette.

“I know. But for now, can I go back to work?”

I smile.

“Yes, you can. Thank you.”

She ignores me, but that’s okay. I’ll be back.

 

Edited May 23, 2018 by Chanel_no5
typo

[Reader]

Oh wow!!! This is like some crazy meta mind-bending artistic beautifulness right here! I can’t tell you how much I love this concept!!! You are such a bad mamajama in this story!! Miss calm cool and in charge 😎 

HAHAHAHHAAH dying over Theresa pounding the desk and talking about not having a break in two weeks. When you’re on point, you’re on point. What can you do? Shrugs. Also I liked how you wrote Theresa continually wanting to get to the point. I kept getting happily distracted by all this new information, but I was brought back every time. 

Loved the bit about her nose scrunching in torture and the flower petal analogy. I don’t know how you think of these things?! Leave some for the rest of us 😉😄😂

Delving into Theresa’s feelings of Bernard was just so sweet. ‘Flame from my flame’....so precious of them. 

Although I’m against this in real life, that smoke writing was very visually arresting and just added to the ambience.

This was lovely! First time in forum history, this idea has been explored! I just had to state that for the public record! 

 

 

Edited May 22, 2018 by Reader

[Shamaël]

Oh my God Chanel this is completely amazing! I LOVE every part of it. You are unquestionably one of the best writers on the forum. Your idea is brilliant and extremely well written. What astonishes me most is that Theresa is completely in character, even in a meta-conversation...

On 21/05/2018 at 0:00 PM, Chanel_no5 said:

“Too long?” she echoes. “It hasn't been left alone for a single day in two fucking weeks! I’m surprised I haven’t been subjected to a lovely, all-clogged-up, sinus infection yet.”

I shake my head.

“I’m not into it when it gets too messy.”

Perfect dialogue!!! 

On 21/05/2018 at 0:00 PM, Chanel_no5 said:

“That’s what I said earlier today, but you still had to make sure I got…” she makes a disgusted face. It’s actually somewhat cute. “… stuff, all over my face, and my sleeve.”

“But you didn’t get caught,” I remind her.

So, I guess I'm going to read your other Westworld fics... I liked the show, but I'm not obsessed by it, so I didn't pay much attention to the fics in that fandom. Now I will.

On 21/05/2018 at 0:00 PM, Chanel_no5 said:

She knows what I want to hear, and she knows that if I don’t like what she says, I’ll edit it to fit my liking anyway.

I love that line. Thank you so much for that great story!

[Chanel_no5]

On ‎2018‎-‎05‎-‎23 at 8:41 PM, Aliena H. said:

Oh my God Chanel this is completely amazing! I LOVE every part of it. You are unquestionably one of the best writers on the forum. Your idea is brilliant and extremely well written.

Oh my God, Aliena, I'm blushing!! Thank you so much!! 

On ‎2018‎-‎05‎-‎23 at 8:41 PM, Aliena H. said:

What astonishes me most is that Theresa is completely in character, even in a meta-conversation...

That's the very point with these talks! She is so fun to meet up with, oh my God!! Being the writer, I have the obvious power, but she is still the Alpha female. She's very well aware that I have the power to put her into whatever scenario I want, but she on the other hand, can choose not to cooperate once inside that scenario.   She has messed up my ideas more than once when she didn't want to do them. She's such a tough negotiator, I always have to offer something worth her while, or she just won't do it. I really have to work for it. She's pushing my creative thinking through the roof sometimes because she refuses to accept me phoning it in, and I love that.

On ‎2018‎-‎05‎-‎23 at 8:41 PM, Aliena H. said:

So, I guess I'm going to read your other Westworld fics... I liked the show, but I'm not obsessed by it, so I didn't pay much attention to the fics in that fandom. Now I will.

I'd be honoured if you did. I didn't mean to become obsessed with the show either, but I accidentally did. And as much as I have a thing for Theresa, the even bigger thing for me is that I'm completely in love with the feelings between her and Bernard, because I don't care what the show means to imply, what they had was so real!  

 

On ‎2018‎-‎05‎-‎22 at 1:29 AM, Reader said:

Oh wow!!! This is like some crazy meta mind-bending artistic beautifulness right here! I can’t tell you how much I love this concept!!! You are such a bad mamajama in this story!! Miss calm cool and in charge 😎 

HAHAHAHHAAH dying over Theresa pounding the desk and talking about not having a break in two weeks. When you’re on point, you’re on point. What can you do? Shrugs. Also I liked how you wrote Theresa continually wanting to get to the point. I kept getting happily distracted by all this new information, but I was brought back every time. 

Loved the bit about her nose scrunching in torture and the flower petal analogy. I don’t know how you think of these things?! Leave some for the rest of us 😉😄😂

Delving into Theresa’s feelings of Bernard was just so sweet. ‘Flame from my flame’....so precious of them. 

Although I’m against this in real life, that smoke writing was very visually arresting and just added to the ambience.

This was lovely! First time in forum history, this idea has been explored! I just had to state that for the public record! 

Hahahaha, thank you so much my friend, I'm glad you liked it!!   Exactly, when you're in the flow, you can't just stop only because the character is annoyed! She doesn't like it when I keep wandering off topic either, but that's kind of in my nature, I'm so scatter-brained I can't stay focused. She's quite the opposite.  

I'm against smoking too - well, not that I care that much if people choose to do it, but I don't like to get the second-hand smoker's experience - but from a strictly visual point of view, it's SO captivating! 

And those two... *sigh* The romance is killing me. So many tiny hints to prove just how real it was. 

I'm not sure this is the first time in forum history this has been used, but it's the first time I've written one of my meta meetings into a story, and it was a lot of fun! So thanks for the challenge!  

Will reply to your comment in the other story as well, but I'll do that when I have chapter 5 ready to post.  

 

[Shamaël]

On 25/05/2018 at 4:50 PM, Chanel_no5 said:

Being the writer, I have the obvious power, but she is still the Alpha female. She's very well aware that I have the power to put her into whatever scenario I want, but she on the other hand, can choose not to cooperate once inside that scenario.   She has messed up my ideas more than once when she didn't want to do them. She's such a tough negotiator, I always have to offer something worth her while, or she just won't do it.

I guess this is not completely serious, but it's exactly how I generally feel about characters: sometimes I have the impression that they live somewhere inside my head and that I have to negociate every single line I write with them. Sometimes they cooperate and everything's fine, and sometimes they refuse to do what I want them to do, and they completely change the story I had in mind... It sounds completely crazy, but... thanks so much for writing this fic and proving me that I'm not the only one who talk with the characters and try to make them obey to my wishes... 

On 25/05/2018 at 4:50 PM, Chanel_no5 said:

I'm completely in love with the feelings between her and Bernard, because I don't care what the show means to imply, what they had was so real!

YES I totally agree with that!!!

[Chanel_no5]

On ‎2018‎-‎05‎-‎27 at 9:56 PM, Aliena H. said:

I guess this is not completely serious, but it's exactly how I generally feel about characters: sometimes I have the impression that they live somewhere inside my head and that I have to negociate every single line I write with them. Sometimes they cooperate and everything's fine, and sometimes they refuse to do what I want them to do, and they completely change the story I had in mind... It sounds completely crazy, but... thanks so much for writing this fic and proving me that I'm not the only one who talk with the characters and try to make them obey to my wishes... 

It's about 85 % serious and 15 % not. Of course I know she's not real, of course I don't physically meet her, but it's like the first room of writing for me. The first frontline of imagination, and I'm very good at visualising things, I can picture her clear as day. Just today when writing, actually, I had two ways to go with the plot, and I wasn't entirely pleased with either of them. She stood by and watched me weigh back and forth for a while, then she pushed me aside and did what she thought best (with an eyeroll and headshake in my direction, I should add), and I'll be damned, she solved the situation way better than I would have. For me to take credit for her solution would be unfair, I think, because I hadn't even thought about the way she did it until she showed it to me.  

Thank you so much for commenting and proving to me that I'm not the only one!  

ETA: I just recalled, I once saw a documentary where it was mentioned that Agatha Christie used to take long walks and talking to her characters when creating a story. So we're in some very fine company.  

Edited May 29, 2018 by Chanel_no5