Six Times (Newt Scamander, FBAWTFT)

[RiversD]

Alternative title: Five Times Newt's Allergies Interfered With His Love For Magical Beasts, And One Time They Were Actually Helpful.

It's an old format, but I like it. This will be a 6-part drabble series, and I'm currently planning all 6 parts to be set before the first film. Some hayfever, some beast-allergies, all good fun.

 

One

“Come on, Newton!” Thomas Arcquam called down as he scrambled up a rugged patch of cliff-side. His enthusiasm was understandable- working entry-level jobs in different parts of the Ministry, he and Newt hadn’t had simultaneous time off in the last two years. Finally set loose along the South Wales coast, he was determined that they would make the most of the holiday, especially when there were rumours of an immigrant Clabbert hiding out in the trees above them.

“My grandfather could keep better pace than you are.”

“I ca-I can’t…” Newt wheezed, pulling himself up with the help of a protruding boulder. Then, still clutching the rock, he sneezed.

“hih-tsch! itschh! hih-shooo!”

His lanky body jerked with the reflex, and he had to reassert his footing before he could continue his climb.

“Newt?” Thomas shouted, suddenly concerned.

“Fine,” Newt called back, and redoubled his efforts to catch up.

He stumbled gracelessly onto the plateau where Thomas was waiting, braced his hands against his knees and sneezed between them.

“iht’schhoo!”

Newt straightened up, pushed a hand through his untidy hair and rubbed at the tip of his nose, which showed very pink beneath its coating of freckles. Thomas treated him to a slight frown.

“What’s going on? Is it the high grass?”

Newt smiled apologetically back at him, only to have his composure unravel once again as the itch in his nose reasserted its dominance. He raised a hasty arm as his breath caught with incontestable purpose.

“ih-TISSCHoo!”

The sneeze sounded forceful , and uncharacteristically wet. Thomas winced.

“Newt! Use your handkerchief!”

“Right, s-sorry…” Newt scrabbled in his pocket, eyes still helplessly closed, and clumsily replaced his shielding arm with a crumpled white handkerchief.

“h-hih! hi’tssch! ‘tisschoo!”

He paused, panting but apparently satisfied.

“Merlin’s beard, Newt.”

“Sorry,” Newt repeated. “I think you’re right about the grass. It doesn’t usually start so early in the year, but…” He scrubbed peevishly at his nose again, and sniffed. “I can’t think of any other reason for this.”

Thomas nodded. Newt had been the picture of health when they left. His current watery eyes, flushed cheeks, and subtly twitching nose must be caused by something around them, so the precise culprit made little difference.

“We should go back. Find you a potion or something.”

“That would waste half the day!” Newt protested.

Thomas hesitated, swung by his own desire to keep exploring the cliffs.

“Well… alright. But we’ll move a tad slower.”

Newt grinned at him.

“Great, no problem. We might actually see more wildlife if we do.”

“And if I think you’re getting worse, we turn round and go back to the cottage. No arguments.”

“What? Honestly, Thomas, I’m-”

“No arguments, Newt! Or not another step. I mean it.”

Newt sagged.

“Alright. No arguments. Badgers’ honour.”

“Good. Come on, I think I saw a good path over there to the right.”

[SterlingSilver]

Aw, I've never seen the film, but I love this universe~ And the dialogue here (as usual from you) is so characteristic and realistic too >w< Annnnd I'm a big fan of the spellings here >w>  I'm really looking forward to the rest! 

[JQLovesSneezes]

NEWT!!  Most of the Newt fics I've seen hanging around are sick fics (which I have absolutely NO objection to ), but it's so nice to see an allergy fic with this cutie.  I love the scenario you created, as well! And I totally agree with BlackScatter, your spellings are super cute.  Keep up the awesome work, Rivers! 

[queenie]

Aww, badgers' honor!! Very excited for more. 

[CeruleanBlue]

There can never be enough Newt fics!! This is so adorable. 

[Prongs]

Allergic Newt? Um, yes please! He's adorable 

[Dusty15]

Love this! Can't wait to see more of darling Newt and his allergies  

[Elyze]

Love it! Can't wait for this to continue!

[RediChalyn]

Wasn't sure what to expect when I clicked on this but so very glad I did!  Love it can't wait for more!!

[ALilSneezy]

I adore Newt! Can't wait for more! 

[RiversD]

Guessssss what I finally got back to after far too long away? Apologies for the wait you guys. Part 3 will be along a lot faster, I pinky-promise.

And wow, that was such a flattering response to part one!! It's been ages, so I won't tag everyone who replied, but I love you all and I was grateful for every single one of your kind comments!

 

Two

 

“Crikey, it’s tight,” complained Periwinkle Borst.

“That’s probably a good thing,” Newt Scamander called over his shoulder, “makes it harder for us to miss anything.”

“If you say so. I’d still be happier with a broom under me.”

Behind him Newt laughed, making the ropes above them shake from side to side.

“There aren’t many wells that could give you that, Perry.”

Borst snorted. “Hah! You should have seen the monster my grandmother dug. The Sun-Swallower, we used to call it…”

Grumbling cheerfully on, he picked his way hand over hand down the shaft, back to back with Newt, who was doing the same.

Every few feet they paused to examine the wall within their reach for cubby-holes and broken stones. A spriggan was reported to have taken up residence down here, and you didn’t want one of them to drop on you from above.

“Oh no.”

Borst tensed. “What’s up?”

“I think we’re getting close.”

“Right.” Perry adjusted his grip on his wand and asked, “why ‘oh no’?”

There was a heavy silence from behind him. Borst could feel the tension in Scamander’s shoulders, but he realised that he couldn’t even hear the man breathing. He tried to twist in place, to see what was going on.

“Scamander? Newt?”

“th- ISSCHHHuh!”

Newt’s body convulsed with an explosive sneeze, swinging Periwinkle hard against the stonework and, from the sound of it, cracking his own head on the shaft wall opposite.

“oof!”

“ow!”

The two of them swung to-and-fro until their combined weight stabilised the ropes again.

“S-sorry,” Newt gasped. “I couldn’t hold it.”

Borst grunted, massaging his shoulder back to life.

“Bless you, I suppose. What’s going on?”

Newt pointed his lit wand at a section of wall a few feet further down. Periwinkle strained his neck to see as Newt explained,

“I think the spriggan’s causing all that mould.”

“Could be,” Periwinkle agreed. “I don’t remember passing much on the way down.”

“No, the w-walls were clean,” stammered Newt, the ominous waver in his voice warning Borst to brace himself against the stones nearby.

“And I think th-this has bee-been gr-” he broke off, gave in to two sharp, impatient gasps, and sneezed again.

“hih-tssch! ‘tsschoo! hah…”

“Bless you?” Periwinkle ventured.

“Nuh…” Newt forced out an abbreviated negative, shoulders still taut against his partner’s. Borst felt the other man’s head tilt back against his own as he fought for breath with which to purge the itch from deep inside his nose.

“hhih-SSCHHhoo! Merlin…”

“You were saying?” Borst prompted, postponing sympathy in favour of information for now. “The mould’s been what?”

“G-grown with malicious intent,” Newt panted. “The benign sorts don’t make my nose so- oh-”

Realisation struck. “Oh. Do we need to go back, then?”

“No, no, I’ll…” there was another pause, while Newt tried to regulate his breathing. “I’ll be okay. We should get it before it has a chance to dig in.”

“Alright,” Periwinkle agreed, relieved despite his lingering concern. The last thing he wanted was to have to re-run this operation from the start. “You pull it out, I’ll bag.”

“Got it.”

“When you’re ready, then.”

Each of the men had a heavily-enchanted bag on their person, designed for restraining small-to-medium creatures en route to more permanent accommodations. Borst removed his and spread it out ready for use.

“Right.” Newt’s voice was muffled in a way that suggested to Borst that he had covered his face with a handkerchief. Sensible man. “Slow descent.”

The two of them inched down towards the mottled patchwork of mould until it was almost on a level with their heads. This close, they could see the deep crevice between two stones at the very centre of the outgrowth.

“There.”

“I see it.”

“R-ready with the bag?”

“when you are.”

“Just a second…” Newt paused for the space of a couple of slow breaths, in and out, then extended his wand. “Alright, three…two…one… venestia!”

His spell produced a puff of dirt at the entrance to the burrow, and an affronted squeal from deeper within.

“Got it!” Newt announced. “Pulling him out now.”

More soil and stones sprayed from the hole and rattled down the well-shaft. Then the spriggan emerged, flailing its scrawny limbs in protest against the force that was dragging it from its nest. Newt drew it out until it hung in the air between the two wizards. Its dimply bald head, grotesquely large compared to the rest of its body, made it look not unlike an inverted potato plant, straggly limbs dangling pathetically from it and shedding mud as it moved.

“Right.” Perry leaned forwards. “C’mere, you!”

When it caught sight of his sack, the spriggan redoubled its efforts to escape, root-like arms and legs whipping desperately back and forth. Newt’s spell-work was good, however, and its head was held firmly in place, giving Borst an easy target as he lowered his sack.

Getting the bag over the rest of the spriggan was trickier than he had hoped it would be, though. The constant flail of the wizened limbs made it hard to catch them all within the neck of the sack at once, and they kept forcing their way back out as he fought to catch the remainder.

“How you doing there, Perry?” Newt asked, sounding more concerned than Periwinkle felt was strictly necessary at this stage.

“I’m getting there, Newt. Keep your hair on a while yet, eh?”

After a little more silence, Newt spoke again, this time with a needy wobble to his voice that set Perry’s heart racing.

“P-Perry, I-”

“Don’t you dare!” Borst snarled back, redoubling his efforts to bag the spriggan as he felt Newt’s breath hitch and start against his side. To the other wizard’s credit, his charm was holding steady despite his distress.

“I’m tr-trying, but I…eh…”

Periwinkle swore under his breath and, disregarding caution altogether, swung himself powerfully forward and used the momentum to thrust down with the bag.  When he couldn’t feel any obviously loose limbs, he pulled the sack closed, finishing the job moments before Newt’s control slipped.

“hhht’SSCHuh! oh- hh’SSCHHH! ISSSChuh! ahh’SSSCHuhh!”

Thanks to their joint efforts at destabilisation, the two wizards pendulumed wildly back and forth on the end of their ropes, bouncing off the walls of the well-shaft as they did so. Finally they rocked to a dizzy equilibrium, using one another’s shoulders for extra support.

“So sorry,” Newt panted. “Did… are you…”

Borst looked down at the sack in his hands. One spindly leg still protruded out of the top, but the opening was secure.

“Yes. Take us up.”

Newt’s spell took on the third attempt, and the ropes began to wind themselves back up, carrying the two wizards with them.

[AngelEyes]

This was adorable. Great descriptiveness. Can't wait for more.

[RiversD]

Ahh, thanks, @DevilsGaze! More it is...

Three

“Face it, you’re allergic.”

Newt looked up from his desk, rubbing at his reddened septum almost without thinking.

“It’s not that bad,” he protested. “I’m still getting through my paperwork.”

“You might be, but you’re driving me mad,” declared Perry Borst, Newt’s office-mate. “Can barely think straight, what with you sneezing and sniffling like you’re trying to drain the sea.”

“Sorry,” Newt snuffled meekly. He unfolded his handkerchief and spread it between his hands as he spoke.

“I’ll try to-” his breath snagged, bringing his sentence to an abrupt end. He grimaced, evidently recognising the irony, and sneezed three ticklish sneezes into the waiting handkerchief.

“hh’Ihhsshoo! Issch! hih-Eksch!”

He cradled his nose in the cloth until he was certain that was all it had to give, then raised his head with a soft sniff.

“I’ll try to be less distracting,” he finished, as though he stood any chance of actually doing so. His nose shone a deep and angry shade of pink, one nostril still tic’ing with residual irritation, and his eyes were puffy with tears.

Borst sighed dramatically. “Is this really that important to you, Scamander? You look like a doxy took a leak on your face.”

“We can’t just give up on her!” Newt squinted blearily down at the small cage beside his desk in which a honey-coloured furball bounced back and forth, growling. He pressed the back of one hand against his nose, which was already threatening to drip.

“ ‘She’ nearly cost Purvis a hand, you know.” Perry folded his arms, and Newt sniffled pathetically.

“I know, I know, but… it’s not her fault she was bred to be a biter. And you know if we pass her to Pets and Household Animals they’ll put her down. They haven’t got the time to rehabilitate a fanged puffskein.”

“Well neither have we!”

“I’ll make time!” Newt insisted. “I won’t be responsible for an animal that could have been sa-sa…”

Newt’s nose had become more animated alongside his manner, and was now twitching urgently.  His face contorted in a brief effort not to interrupt his point, which failed spectacularly. He flung an arm up to cover his mouth as the sneeze burst from him, chair scraping against the floor as he lurched forward.

“hieh-KSSSCH! Issch! Esschoo! ah- EhSSCHOO!”

The force of the fit seemed to stagger him, and he leant dizzily back in his chair, train of thought obliterated. Borst rolled his eyes.

“You’re daft, Scamander.”

Newt, handkerchief pressed firmly beneath his leaking nose, didn’t even open his eyes. Borst groaned and threw up a hand.

“Alright, alright! I’ll send a message to the Devon office. Millicent Crabtree told me she knew a woman who wanted to start a puffskein sanctuary. I’ll ask her to get us in touch.”

Newt gave him a look of slightly damp gratitude.

“Thank you, Perry. Really.”

“Ugh.” Borst pointed an accusatory finger at Newt as he stalked back to his desk. “Just don’t make a habit of it!”

That set Newt chuckling into his sleeve, despite the ache in his sinuses. They both knew it was far too late for that.

[queenie]

Ohh, Peru has a good heart under there. Newt’s suffering brought it out of him in that last story. Dear tender heart, willing to risk endless allergy attacks to save one animal life. 

[AngelEyes]

Awww. 

On 10/21/2017 at 4:45 AM, RiversD said:

“I’ll make time!” Newt insisted. “I won’t be responsible for an animal that could have been sa-sa…”

 

 

Newt’s nose had become more animated alongside his manner, and was now twitching urgently.  His face contorted in a brief effort not to interrupt his point, which failed spectacularly. He flung an arm up to cover his mouth as the sneeze burst from him, chair scraping against the floor as he lurched forward.

Loved this part.

[CeruleanBlue]

These last two were really, really good... I just remembered how much I love Newt. He's such a sweetheart.  

[JQLovesSneezes]

AH, these two new updates were great, Newt is such a cutie pie!   I hope you write more, you capture Newt so well! 

[RiversD]

@queenie Both of them are darlings. Perry's a bit more prickly, but he's a good man.

@DevilsGaze Thank you!! <333

On 11/5/2017 at 9:24 AM, CeruleanBlue said:

These last two were really, really good...

Ahhh, I'm so glad! Thanks!

On 11/6/2017 at 0:56 AM, JQLovesSneezes said:

AH, these two new updates were great, Newt is such a cutie pie!   I hope you write more, you capture Newt so well! 

ASDFghjkl. Thank you! I try, and I'm so happy you feel I'm getting him down well.

 

Four

Newt knew that this was a risky experiment. But to be sure that there was a fwooper in this Spanish wood, many miles north of its usual habitat, he had to hear it sing. So here he was, wandering about with a pair of fluffy but highly effective earmuffs held loosely in one hand, hoping to get lucky.

It took several hours for anything to come of his search, but Newt had long since developed the unnatural patience of the great naturalists. He had actually been anticipating that he might have to revisit this area of woodland over several days, so it was a pleasant surprise when, as he paused to rest on a handy rock, an attractive, high-pitched twittering broke out from nearby.

He stood up and began to follow the sound as best he could, resisting the urge to sing along and trying to ignore the dizzy sensation that came with the especially high notes. Then, just as he was beginning to regret his choices so far, a bright flash of yellow caught his eye. He followed it and, stepping into an almost circular clearing, spotted the tell-tale tail of a young adult fwooper peeping out from among some branches on the far side.

“Alright, I think I’ve heard enough.”

Newt put on his ear-muffs, silencing the forest around him. He had probably left it slightly late, he reflected as he stepped woozily forward towards the little yellow bird. Too much fwooper song could make you go a little strange. But the chance to see one in Europe was worth it.

It ought to be captured, really, he knew. If a fwooper was to be allowed to roam, it would have to be silenced or else kept well away from muggle villages where locals wouldn’t know what they were dealing with.

This particular fwooper seemed quite friendly. As Newt stepped into the clearing it hopped onto a low-hanging branch in full view, allowing him to admire its plumage properly for the first time.

“My, aren’t you a beauty,” whispered Newt. The little bird was a perfect inverted teardrop of bright yellow, its long tail feathers streaming out below. It made the Spanish woodland scene around it seem drab by comparison.

Newt moved slowly, wanting to maximise his chances of getting close. The fwooper seemed relatively unperturbed by his approach, though it kept its beady eyes fixed on him.

Newt was almost beginning to feel confident about the whole operation when, still several yards from his quarry, his nose developed a most inopportune itch. He fought acknowledging it for as long as he could, but it was insistent.

Slowly, trying not to blink too fast despite the gradual spread of this itchiness to his eyes, Newt manoeuvred one hand to his nose and began to rub those parts that felt the itch most keenly. It seemed to work, though not as efficiently as Newt had hoped. With almost maddening gradualness, the eye-watering itch receded under the pressure of his fingers until he felt confident enough to lower them again.

The fwooper was still on its perch. Its beak opened and closed, though Newt couldn’t hear the sound it was making.

“It’s alright, beautiful,” he murmured, hoping he had pitched his voice low enough. “Just a tickle, everything’s alright now.”

He took a fresh step forward, and another. Then what had been meant for a slow, calm breath turned suddenly into a ragged gasp as the itch returned to his nose with a vengeance, leaving him no space to react in any way but one.

Newt turned and pressed his nose hard against his shoulder to sneeze. Doing so made his ears pop, and he swallowed hard to lose the sensation. The awful, needy itch faded away, and he hoped that was the end of it.

When he looked up, the fwooper had retreated to a much further branch. Newt cursed inwardly. While he hadn’t been able to hear his own sneeze with these earmuffs on, the sound must have scared the little yellow bird, which was eyeing him with suspicion.

“I’m sorry,” Newt whispered, falling back into slow, smooth movements. “I couldn’t help it. But it’s quite safe, I promise.”

The fwooper watched him warily, but made no further move to get away. As Newt drew closer, moving gently and murmuring sweet nothings, its feathers settled back into the smoothness of its placid state.

He had one foot on the exposed root of its chosen tree when, to his horror, he felt his nose begin to prickle again. It was a much more insidious feeling this time, starting high and slowly working its way down the nose until it set his nostrils flaring and made him want to wriggle the tingling feeling out of its tip.

Nonetheless, ignoring it, he moved into position beside the tree and took out his enchanted capture-bag. Holding that in his left hand, he began to inch his right towards the warbling yellow bird.

 “Come along, precious,” he murmured. “I’ve got all sorts of lovely treats for you ins-insihde-nonodon’t…”

Pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Newt managed to hold the gathering sneeze at bay. It refused to go far, however, only gathering strength as Newt’s hopelessly ticklish nose became ever more desperate for relief.

He could feel himself going, could feel his resistance unravelling at a rate of knots, and yet… he was so close…

He tried to keep talking, afraid to leave his breathing to his body’s control for amoment.

“Shh,shh, little one, I’m going to take good ca-ah! … look after you, y-yes, I-”

The fwooper edged further along the branch, feathers bristling nervously.

“Oh no, don’t be sc-scared, I only- no- ih’sschoo!”

Newt hadn’t had much breath left by the time the sneeze won through. But more were waiting to pounce as he gulped in air only to have it immediately ripped from him.

“iht’SHOO! ihsschoo! hh… h’sshoo! hhih-SSCHHhoo!”

Newt rummaged in his breast pocket for a handkerchief, found one and clasped it to his now streaming nose. Had he not become unhappily accustomed to occasional allergic reactions, he would have been shocked by the speed with which this one had overwhelmed him.

His sneezes were becoming more spaced out as the initial desperation eased, but showed no signs of stopping. Newt waited for his chance and stole the breath that could have fuelled another sneeze to blow his nose. It helped somewhat, but it took four more sneezes and considerably more work with his handkerchief to finally still his infuriated nose.

Breathing hard, he straightened up from the crouch he had adopted to weather the onslaught, and surveyed his surroundings. The little bird was long gone, of course. But in its flight, it had left behind a long yellow tail feather. Newt opened his bag on the ground in front of him and located one of the sample bags he made a habit of carrying with him.

His eyes and nose had begun to run again, so he tended carefully to both with his handkerchief before moving across the clearing to bag the feather. He noticed two smaller, scruffier feathers a little further beyond the treeline and bagged those too.

Then he pulled his journal from his coat pocket, fetched out his traveling quill, and made a note.

‘Fwooper feathers the possible cause of an allergic reaction from me. Samples taken for later confirmation/disproof.’

Not, on the whole, the day he had hoped for, but not a complete waste of time, either. He had better report the wild fwooper to the local authorities in the morning. It wasn’t urgent enough to worry about now. In fact, just about everything could wait until he had had a chance to wash his face and close his eyes for a few minutes back at his lodging-house. This decided, Newt packed samples and journal away safely and turned cheerfully towards home.

 

[AngelEyes]

Adorable.

[LifeOfTheMarauders]

Absolutely spectacular...Can't wait to read the next two!