Broken Together (SPN, Sam/Dean)

[Wolfwings22]

Hi guys! So it's my birthday today so I gave myself a birthday present by writing this oneshot. I was intrigued by the idea of Dean having a terrible cold and Sam still being hopped up on Hell hallucinations and being all jumpy every time Dean sneezed. This takes place at the beginning of season 7, right after Dean breaks his leg. Hope you enjoy!

 

Prompt= Sam's wall has been broken and the hallucinations of Lucifer and Hell are only getting worse. He doesn't want to tell Dean exactly how deep the terror and pain goes, so he tries to keep it to himself. However, after Dean gets out of the hospital with his broken leg he catches a terrible, sneezy cold. However, the sound of Dean sneezing terrifies Sam to death, causing him to have panic attacks and freak out. 

 

    Sam rocks back and forth on the chair at Rufus's house. He gulps periodically as his head swivels around. His hair obstructs his vision a bit, which is fine by him. He narrows his eyes at the nothingness around him, praying that he won't have any hallucinations today. He knows that it's a thankless thought. Lucifer is always playing games with him, especially when he least expects it.

 

    He's so lost in thought that he doesn't even notice Dean limp in with his crutches shoved under his arms. He doesn't hear the metallic thud of the crutches or the grunts that Dean emits in frustration.

    

    Dean looks at his brother quizzically when he doesn't even acknowledge him. He heads right over to the counter and starts to make himself a cup of coffee. Sam doesn't say a word.

 

    "Good morning, Sam," Dean bellows as he tries to distract his brother from whatever crap was in his head.

 

    Sam jolted a bit as he lifted his hand and pressed against the small wound. He looks up to Dean and smiles. "H-Hi," he stammers. 

 

    Dean lifts a cup. "Want a cup?"

 

    Sam shook his head and frowned. "No, I'm good."

    

    Dean doesn't say anything since pressing Sam gets him nowhere. Any little thing can set him off and his hallucinations are growing stronger in Dean's opinion. He doesn't think that he can do much more for his brother, especially in his condition, but by God he'll try.

 

    That's when Dean starts to notice it. The slight itch in his sinuses, the dull throb of his head, the pain in his throat, and the slight uncomfortableness that prickles over his skin. He inwardly curses himself. If he's getting sick then things could only get worse.

 

    "Hey Sam, maybe today you'd want to make a supply run or something," Dean suggested, praying that he could get Sam out of the house for something so that he could be sick in peace.

 

    Sam tilted his head. "Bobby already went out today. I don't think we need anything," he pointed out.

    

    Dean lifted a hand and squeezed the bridge of his nose. "Of course he did."

 

    Suddenly, Dean felt the all too familiar itch in the back of his sinuses that quickly traveled all the way to the tip. He lifted a hand and wriggled his nose back and forth, sucking in hitching breaths as he did so. His sneezes were never quiet, just like Sam's. They were loud, commanding, and embarrassing at times. He usually didn't care, but he had no idea how a jumpy Sam was going to take it. After all, this was the man who had jumped when Dean set down a dinner plate too loud.

 

    He couldn't hold it back anymore. He prayed for the best.

 

    "Eh'Htchxhsshsh!"

 

    That was it. Sam jumped and stepped back, the chair crumpling behind him. Sam raised his hands over his ears before he started to pull at his hair. He looked around with tears in his eyes before he just dropped. The mammoth of a man drew his knees up to his chest and started to rock back and forth, making nosies that Dean couldn't make out.

 

    Dean immediately set down the coffee cup and used his crutches to hop over to Sam. He set the crutches down and maneuvered himself as well as he possibly could before he sat in front of Sam with his broken leg sprawled at a very awkward and uncomfortable angle. He stretched out his hands and tried to grab Sam's shoulders.

 

    "No!" 

 

    Sam twisted and tried to push him away, panting in terror. He looked at Dean like he was an enemy and he gritted his teeth with rage showing in his eyes.

 

    "Sam. Sammy, look at me," Dean chided as he grabbed Sam's shoulders so hard that he couldn't force him to let go. "It's okay. It was just a sneeze."

 

    Sam licked his lips as he struggled to meet his brother's piercing gaze. His back arched against the wall, but Dean's weight held him down. "A.....sneeze," asked Sam with a small tilt of his head, his hair falling into his eyes.

 

    Dean stretched out a shaking hand and tucked Sam's hair behind his ears. "Yeah, buddy. I think I might be coming down with something. I sneezed."

 

    Sam still seemed more on edge then Dean would've liked. He managed a small nod, yet his hands still wrung against themselves. Dean could always tell when he was nervous since he did that. "O-Okay," Sam whispered.

 

    Dean lifted his hands from Sam's shoulders and reached to grab the crutches. He shoved them under his armpits and hauled himself to standing position. He reached out a hand for Sam, but Sam didn't take it. He continued to stare forward and Dean wondered just who or what Sam was seeing.

 

    Dean turned back to the coffee and managed to pour himself a cup with only a few feeble coughs. They weren't nearly as loud as the sneeze and Sam only flinched when they happened. 

 

    By the time Dean brought over the cereal, milk, bowls, and spoons for their breakfast; Sam managed to haul himself onto a chair and sit there. He shifted uncomfortably, but he didn't flee either. 

 

    "Hungry," Dean asked as he plopped down across from Sam. "Because I'm starving!"

 

    Sam didn't say anything, but he did dump some cereal in the bowl and just ate it like that. Dean shrugged. Somethings that Sam did now he hadn't done before. Dean learned just to roll with it instead of calling Sam out. That just made things worse.

 

    "Eh'htschsxxshsh!"

 

    Dean tried to make this one quieter, but it snuck up on him. That automatically sent Sam into a panic.

 

    As soon as Dean opened his eyes he saw Sam shaking and cowering almost under the table. His hands were back over his ears and he was rocking back and forth, trying to calm himself down by rubbing small circles against his head and pulling his hair.

 

    "Dabn," Dean swore as congestion started to make his words softer. He rubbed a hand against the side of his face before he realized that it would be best if he could just blow his nose. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure that Sam wouldn't respond well to that noise either if a sneeze bothered him.

 

    "Sab," Dean began as he grabbed onto the edge of the chair and slowly eased himself down. His broken leg screeched slightly against the ground and he felt slight tremors rush up his bones. Dean gritted his teeth in pain before he continued to slump down. He sat down heavily and let out a breath of relief. "Sab."

 

    Dean frowned as he watched his little brother muttering under his breath and continuing to shake. He pulled at his hair and rocked back and forth. He looked around madly before he looked over to Dean and the only thing that showed on his face was pure terror. There had been a time when it was only admiration and now it was just fear. Dean wished he could do something about it, but he knew that since Sam got back from Hell that it would never be the same.

 

    "Sab, it's okay," Dean chided as he stretched out a hand and rested it on Sam's shoulder. Sam shrugged it off and continued to push himself backwards, almost gagging as he breathed. "Okay, maybe nodt."

 

    Dean sniffed back the running congestion before he noticed how freaked out Sam still was. "Sab, it was a sneeze. Ib sorry. I candt helb id." Dean snuffed back the congestion again. "Id's okay."

 

    Sam whimpered as he spun his head to look at his brother with tears in his eyes. "I'm okay," he whimpered.

 

    Dean didn't believe it for a second, but he had to fake it for Sam's sake. He smiled at him and sighed heavily. "C'mon. Let's gedt you oud frob under the table. Do you wand to watch sobe TV?" 

 

    Sam nodded slowly and Dean smiled. A softer tone was always best with Sam. Dean had researched what to do and how to speak to those with PTSD. He researched some schizophrenia treatments and autism therapy as well. He tried putting them all together as he learned how to care for his broken little brother.

 

    Sam eventually crawled out from under the table and made his way to the TV extremely slowly. Dean watched him before he felt the prickle like a million feathers tickling the inside of his nasal passages.

 

    "Oh doh," Dean panted as he sat under the table. He grabbed the chair and tried to pull himself up. The chair skidded away and Dean shrugged his shoulders, his breath continuing to hitch as he tried to hold it off. "Eh....huh....hih....."

 

    Dean suddenly reached up around the table and grabbed the napkin that he had set there earlier. He rushed to thrust it over his face to contain the mess. 

 

    "Hih'htchshUuU!"

 

    Dean ducked forward into the napkin before he blew his nose to empty the mess that just kept flowing from his nose. He gasped once he was finished and continued to wipe the moisture around from his nostrils. Once he was finished he crumpled it up and set it on the table. He let out a sigh before he heard Sam's self coping mechanisms. He was mumbling to himself and bracing himself against the couch.

 

    Dean rolled his eyes. "Damn it!" He turned his head and looked at the back of the couch where the back of Sam's shaking head was visible. "Sam! Sam, come on. I need your help. Sammy!"

 

    Sam continued to rock back and forth as he mumbled to himself. He blinked his eyes madly as he looked around as if he could see Lucifer or the rest of the hallucinations of Hell all around him. Sam whimpered and crumpled down. "D-Dean," he whispered so low that Dean barely noticed.

 

    Dean sighed as he lowered down on his stomach and dragged himself forward. His broken leg dragged uselessly behind him as he forced himself to the couch. When he finally made it he sat right in front of it. He braced his hands backwards on the couch and pulled himself up. He sat down on the couch with a sigh as exhaustion washed over him. He never thought that he would see the day when it would be so hard to make it to the couch.

 

    "Sammy," Dean whispered as he looked at his brother. "Sammy, look at me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. You have to let me help you."

 

    Tears showed in Sam's eyes as he looked at his brother. "Dean. Dean," whispered Sam as if he was questioning that the person in front of him with a broken leg was actually his brother.

 

    "It's me, Sammy," Dean replied as he slid closer to Sam.

 

    Sam drew his knees to his chest and Dean lifted his hands, automatically backing off. "Okay, we'll start off snow. First stone, right? Build on that. Baby steps. Do you remember me saying that," Dean asked quietly.

 

    Sam unthreaded himself with his legs stretching out. "Yes, I do," he croaked.

 

    "I'm sorry that I scared you, Sammy," Dean apologized as he frowned at his brother. "It's just that I think I'm coming down with something and I can't help it. When I get sick I sneeze a lot, Sam, you know that."

 

    Sam looked down at his hands, which were interlocked together so hard that Dean was sure that he was loosing circulation in at least a few of his fingers. "I know. I'm sorry," he croaked.

 

    "You don't have to be sorry about it. I'm just sorry that it scares you so much." Dean gritted his teeth against his bottom lip. The familiar tickle was back and Dean knew that even after he explained it to Sam he would be off the walls afraid of it. "Sam....I'm going to....huh......"

    

    Sam looked over to him and his eyes flickered as if he couldn't even figure out what Dean was trying to do. He tilted his head as Dean tried to stay as far away from him as possible. This one was going to be a doozy and he just knew that Sam was going to freak out and there was nothing that he could do about it.

 

    "Huh'Hetchshxhshoo!"

 

    As predicted, Sam darted. He gasped in surprise as he jumped from the couch with his arms lifted before he pressed his hands against his head and pulled so hard at his hair that clumps came out. He started to dig into his head as he looked around for somewhere to hide. 

 

    Dean, with one hand clamped over the lower half of his face to catch the milky, sticky substance, looked over at his still standing and shaking brother. "Sabby."

 

    It was too late. Sam rushed through Rufus's house until he came over to the bedroom. He didn't bother to close the door, so Dean could only guess what he was doing. He guessed that he was probably in the corner, shaking and moaning and he would stay that way until Dean could calm him down. That was the only way that Sam could calm down and that was if Dean was there. Dean couldn't be there right now with his broken leg or miserable head cold. He felt like he had failed as a brother.

 

    Right now he had other problems. His latest sneeze had caused an unbelievable amount of mucus to stream from his right nostril. It continued to flow and Dean had nothing to mop it up with and he couldn't just get up and get himself something. His crutches were by the table and he was not about to crawl through the entire house looking for a napkin of tissues. For now he would have to stay where he was until Bobby came home with the supplies.

 

    However, now that Sam was already in the middle of a pretty intense panic attack and Dean couldn't get him out of it, he might as well sneeze as much as he wanted to now. It wasn't like things could get any worse.

 

    "Huh'Hitchxhshshoo! Hetchshsxhh! Heh'Hitcxshoo!"

 

    Once Dean was finished his hand was still cupped over his face and that was where it was going to stay. He sighed as he thought of one more thing.

 

    "Sabby! Do you think you could bring be sobe tissues," Dean called hopefully.

 

    The only response he got was now Sam's yelling. "Leave me alone! I won't do that! Don't! No!"

 

    He tried to block it out as much as possible. He closed his eyes and laid sideways on the couch. "Oh, Sabby," Dean sighed with tears in his own eyes. "Whadt have we done to you?"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

    It was almost half an hour later before the door opened and Bobby stepped forward. He raised an eyebrow at Dean's slumped figure on the couch and set the bags down before he walked over to him. He saw that his hand was cupped over his face and he sighed heavily.

 

    "Dean. Dean!" He nudged Dean's shoulder before he sat upright, bringing his hand away from his face. Bobby grimaced at the mucus still streaming from his nose. "What happened to you, sicky?"

 

    Dean gasped as he lifted his hand over his face. "Oh, Bobby, sorry," coughed Dean as he leaned forward, more mucus flowing freely form his nostrils.

 

    Bobby swore under his breath before he tossed Dean a bandanna. "Here. Clean yourself up," Bobby instructed with a roll of his eyes. "Idgit!"

 

     A flush rose to Dean's cheeks. "Thanks for that," he grumbled as he mopped up his face. "I asked Sam to help me and get me more tissues, but he's freaked out about my sneezes."

 

    Bobby chuckled. "What?"

 

    "Every time I sneeze he freaks out and has one of his panic attacks or whatever. Every time I talk to him and calm him down I sneeze again and we're back to square one," Dean sighed in exasperation.

 

    Suddenly, in the small silence that Bobby gave him, the sound of coughing came from the back room. Both Dean and Bobby twisted before the coughing turned into a giant sneeze.

 

    "Eh'HuxhsHOO!"

 

    "That's Sam," Dean breathed in surprise as he looked at Bobby.

 

    Bobby tipped his head. "Looks like you're not the only one who doesn't feel well."

 

    Dean looked down and worked his hands together as he sighed heavily. "Maybe you should talk to him. I'll just sneeze and scare him again."

 

    Bobby grumbled as he sat next to Dean on the couch and looked at him up and down. "I've known you for a long time, Dean. I know how much you care for your brother and how much you practically raised him. Now I also know that these past few weeks haven't been easy for either one of you. But, I also know that you would still do anything for him. Just go and talk to him. Maybe you two can work something out better now."

 

    "He's not Sam, Bobby," Dean confessed darkly.

 

    "He might not be the Sam that you're used to, but you may have to accept that this is the new Sam. It's about time you learned how to truly deal," Bobby shrugged as he rose up from the couch and disappeared for a few seconds. He returned with Dean's crutches and a box of tissues.

 

    Dean took the tissues and turned them over. Bobby shrugged. "You were snoring in your sleep last night."

 

    Dean smiled as he took his crutches and the box of tissues and held them tight. "Thanks, Bobby."

 

    "Don't mention it. Now, go take care of that brother of yours," Bobby instructed sternly.

 

    Dean hauled himself to his feet and hobbled over to the bedroom that Sam had taken up. Dean had been sleeping on the couch and Bobby the spare bedroom. Usually no one came into Sam's room since it was his safest place in the house, but right now they were going to break the rules. 

 

    "Sam, can I come in," Dean asked as he knocked his hand agains the door frame since the door was wide open. From where he was he could see Sam in the corner, still shaking and rocking and whimpering. 

 

    Sam's head lifted. "Y-Yes," he croaked.

 

    Dean hopped in before he closed the door behind him. This was just between him and Sam. They would work this out together just like they had worked out everything else. It just seemed a hell of a lot harder now.

 

    "Can I come over to you," Dean asked hopefully, leaning forward on his crutches. "It's a little hard to stand with these. It's pretty uncomfortable."

 

    Sam actually smiled, partially. "Yeah, go ahead."

 

    Dean hopped forward. Sam was pushed into a corner and the bed was a few feet beside him against the wall. There would be just enough room for Dean to squeeze between Sam and the bed, but their shoulders would be touching. Sam wasn't good with touch yet, but they were working on it. This would be a good test.

 

    "I'm just going to sit beside you, okay, Sammy," Dean asked as he kneeled on the floor and set the crutches beside the bed while he continued to hold the tissues. He plopped down beside Sam and sighed heavily, showing him the tissues.

 

    Sam just looked at them before he drew his knees to his chest and almost started to panic. "Woah, woah, I haven't even done anything yet." Dean took in a deep breath. "See? I haven't sneezed."

 

    "Hutxshtshoo!"

 

    Dean nodded as Sam sneezed. That was enough to send him into a panic. He cried out with his hands pulling at his hair. Dean suddenly reached out against Sam's wishes and pulled his hands away from his hair. He braced his broke leg over Sam's knees to force them to stretch out straight in front of him. Sam continued to whimper, but at least he was looking at Dean now.

 

    "It's okay. You just sneezed this time, Sammy," Dean told him, trying not to laugh. "Bless you."

 

    Sam shook his head as a thin stream of milky mucus rolled from his nostril. He seemed to be oblivious to his runny nose and he continued to allow it to run over his upper lip. He looked at Dean with round eyes as Dean released his hands. Still he did nothing.

 

    Dean said nothing as he took a tissue from the box and used it to gingerly wipe at Sam's nose. He hadn't done this since Sam was about five or six, but there was no use in joking about it now. Sam would never open up to him if he made fun of him.

 

    It wsn't but five seconds later before Dean felt his nose start to rebel. He rolled his eyes as he grabbed five tissues and tried to smother the sound. 

 

    "Hetchxhshhhh!"

 

    The sound as indeed quieter, but Sam still didn't care for it. He didn't lapse into a total panic attack, but he did scoot away from Dean and start to rock and mumble to himself. Dean looked at him and frowned. "Sammy, I-"

 

    "Bless you," Sam interrupted as he fumbled on the words with teary eyes turned to the ceiling. "Bless you."

 

    Dean nodded slowly. "Thanks." He scratched at his chin. "You know, Sam, we're both sick and I'm sorry. I probably was the one to get you sick. I'm sorry about your hallucinations and how I can do nothing about it. I'm sorry for all of it. I would do anything for you, you know that." He sucked in a breath. "And if me being here makes you freak out then I can leave you."

 

    Dean reached to grab his crutches, but Sam's hand shot out to block him. Dean turned to look at him and he saw the pleading look in his eyes. "Stay. Please. I-I'll try not to freak out. I'll sleep on the floor and-"

 

    "Don't be ridiculous, Sammy. I know that you can't help it. And, to the second part we can sleep on the bed together. It's big enough for that and I don't want you out of my sight right now," Dean told him as he stretched out his hand to Sam's. "A little help."

 

    Sam smiled like his old energetic and selfless self as he helped Dean stand while rubbing pathetically at his nose. "Bless you, Sammy."

 

    "Hetchxhsh."

 

    This time Sam didn't shake, Sam didn't scream, and Sam didn't rock back and froth. He gave his head a small shake, sniffed back the congestion and helped set Dean up on the bed. Dean laid on his back while Sam climbed on the other side on his back as well. Sam looked up at his ceiling as the darkness started to show outside. Dean did the same, both brothers lost in thought.

 

    It wasn't long before Sam's open mouth congested breathing started to fill the entire room. Dean looked over and saw that Sam's nose started to run again. He reached into the box between them and cleaned up Sam's nose again with the gentlest touch he could manage. Sam didn't even stir. He crumpled it up and threw it at the end of the bed.

 

    He laid back and sighed. "I promise that I'm going to fix this, Sammy. I'm going to make this better, I promise." His eyelids started to get heavy as he thought about just what had happened to Sam. He knew that it could happen since everyone had warned him. But, he thought that he could go through anything with Sam. Now he saw what had happened. He had a brother who was so broken that he had panic attacks when someone sneezed, even himself. However, he would take this Sam over not having him at all. After all, a broken brother was better than no brother at all.

 

Hope you enjoyed it! It was a blast to write and hopefully later I might be able to expand upon it.

[ID2006]

I'm in love. I adore angsty brotherly fluff, especially set during the time of Lucifer hallucinations. 

[SneezyHolmes]

Loved the angst in this!

[sneezy_frnk]

Love this <3 My poor Sammy