Biohazard- Holtzmann, Ghostbusters 2016.

[RiversD]

Original title is original...

Someone prompted me Holtzmann trying to work through illness and failing, and this was the result. Figured I might as well share it here too, since I've not been too active lately. Apologies for the parts where I fail at American.

 

Biohazard

 

“Hey, Abby, what’s up with Holtzmann today? She seems pretty down.”

Abby frowned up at Erin from behind her laptop.

“She was pretty chipper this morning. Oh, I think she’s got a cold though, so yaknow. Germaphobes beware.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I could hear her sneezing when she came in this morning. She stifles them when she’s not sick, so it’s a speedy way to tell. Don’t tell her I said she was sick, though. She’s not good at acknowledging illness.”

“Even when you already know she’s sick?”

“Oh yeah. I think she just doesn’t want to be alone, so she gets scared I’ll make her go home if she admits it.”

Erin drummed her fingers on the desk.

“I guess that could be it. Any tips on how to sort of… hint that it’s okay to be ill around me? ‘Cause I know I give off a kinda germaphoby-vibe, but I’m really not.”

Abby snorted. “Trust me, Erin, the problem’s not you. If you find a way to convince her it’s fine, I’ll give you custody of the good desk chair.”

Erin’s face fell.

“You’re that certain?”

“Yep. It’s just Holtzmann. Girl is what she is.”

“Is it, ah… is it safe for her to be working? When she’s ill?”

“Compared to what? How safe that lab is on a ‘normal’ day?”

Erin considered this. “Fair point.”

 

 

Neither of them took much notice of Holtzmann’s condition as the morning wore on, apart from nods and exchanges of ‘’sup’, whenever one of them passed through her lab for something.

Shortly after lunch, though, Patty came storming into the room and demanded:

“Are you two aware of the walking biohazard upstairs?”

It took them both a moment to understand, then Abby piped up:

“What, Holtzmann? She’s got a cold, Patty, just keep your distance.”

“Keep my distance? I’m gonna need a freakin’ fallout shelter! You want to tell me how you thought it was okay to let her work like that?”

The two scientists exchanged glances then, as one, rose and headed for the stairs.

 

Holtzmann was sat at her workbench with her eyes closed, head supported on one fist. She snapped upright at the sound of the door, folded her arms and glowered at them all. This didn’t go far towards hiding her deteriorated condition, though. Her nose was practically incandescent, and her hair had made the subtle but important leap from mad-scientist to just plain frazzled. She looked one dropped retort away from total disintegration.

“Uh…Holtzmann?” Erin began. Abby shuffled a few steps away from her just in case there was going to be a blast radius. “Are you doing okay?”

Holtzmann’s brows lowered further and she huffed ill-temperedly at them.

“Stop staring. I’m fine.” She swiped the back of one hand under her nose with a damp sound that made all three of her friends wince. Given the number of tissues visible at various points across the work-surface and the floor below it, it was a solid assumption that she had run out.

Erin raised both hands in her best effort towards the classic ‘we-come-in-peace’ maneuver.

“Sure, sure. Is there anything I can get you, though?”

Holtzmann tried to growl, but it caught in her throat and she swiveled in her chair to direct several hacking coughs towards the floor. She spat into what looked like an already-used tissue, and then pulled a face that made her look like she’d just sucked a lime.

“Ugh, Patty told you I was sick, didn’t she?”

“It was implied.” Erin caught her expression, and Abby’s frantic hand-wave, and added quickly, “That’s fine, though! I mean, we don’t mind if you are, we just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Guys, I’m fine. I’m more than fine. In fact…” Holtzmann swept aside a sheaf of paper and fumbled in the chaos of her desk before coming up with a small but deadly-looking green weapon in one hand.

“…I’m about to blow your minds.”

She pushed one sleeve against her nose, lowered it again, and grinned at the little gun. Patty flinched.

“Uh, that’s okay, Holtzmann, you really don’t have to-”

“I call this little baby the Pinhole Input Cold Krypton Laser Emitter,” Holtzmann continued, appearing not to have heard.“Pickle for short.” 

She gave a brief, gurgling, giggle and added; “See what I did there? It looks like a cute little pickle so I murdered a bunch of words until I found some that would fit.”

She wriggled her nose, rabbit-like, as she spoke. Erin found her eyes following it, temporarily distracted from the potentially deadly weapon this wreck of a human being was currently waving around.

“Had to bend a few l-laws of physics to make it cold, but I was really c-close-”

Holtzmann sniffed hard, her nose apparently having started to run profusely as the sentence progressed. She rubbed her free index finger under her nose, lowered it halfway, then changed her mind and rubbed again, harder.

“I was super close to getting the acronym right, so I figured what the hell.”

Her voice wobbled on the last word and she squinted ticklishly at them for a moment, then bit her lip, squirmed her hand against her nose, and carried on.

“Besides, I think the negative energy-flow might deah-ahctivate eh-ectoplasm, so-”

All three of her teammates were focused on Holtzmann’s nose, now. Watching her nostrils twitch and flare was like watching a rose-tinted time-bomb. Something was about to give.

“Hey, Holtz?” Abby made one last tentative sally into the danger zone. “Why don’t you point that thing a little lower? Just in case?”

Holtzmann was obviously moments away from losing it, but she tried to smile.

“You think I c-can’t hold a Pickle, now? Relax, Abby, there’s nothing to w-worry abo-ou- eh….heh- iyh’essschu!”

Her fingers tightened around the device as she sneezed, sending a bolt of green light streaking across the room to bury itself in a console of some kind. The metal around the impact point began to crumple in on itself.

Abby yelped as the bolt passed her elbow with millimeters to spare. Face turning very red, she advanced on Holtzmann, who was still sneezing, free hand clamped across her nose as she searched desperately for a usable tissue.

“Oh, that is it, missy! Erin, Patty, help me carry her upstairs.”

“Carry her?” Patty sounded seriously unimpressed. “You are kidding, right?”

“I can’t handle her alone! She’s a biter!”

“Oh, that makes me feel waaaayy happier about the whole thing.”

“Abby, it’s ok,” Holtzmann mumbled from behind a crumpled tissue. She put it aside, sniffed and stumbled free of her lab chair. “I’ll come quietly, just… don’t be mad?”

To the horror of everyone present, including herself, Holtzmann’s eyes were starting to bead with tears. Her lip wobbled.

Shocked, Abby backed down.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry, I got a little scared, but I’m not really mad.”

Holtzmann sniffled, swallowed, and croaked, “Promise?”

Abby sighed. “Jillian Louise Holtzmann, how on Earth could I stay mad at you?”

Holtzmann sniffled again and pushed the heel of one hand against a tearful eye.

“’Cause I lied about being sick and made the Firehouse all germy and then I nearly vaporized your arm? Also there might be sneeze-spray all up that mirror in the toilets.”

“And you didn’t think-” Abby began, before catching Erin’s eye and reining herself in again. “I mean, it’s okay. You don’t think straight when you’re sick. I know that.”

She reached up and patted Holtzmann awkwardly on the shoulder.

“C’mon, we’ll look after you. You might be a hopeless bag of snot, but you’re our hopeless bag of snot, right, Erin?”

Erin shrugged. “Sure. Can’t be worse than ectoplasm, right?”

Holtzmann giggled, barely seeming put off by the fact that this led to a series of wet coughs that had her almost doubled over.

“I don’t know…” she wheezed. “I bet I can still gross you out. Just wa- ai-ah’tsschiuh!”

Patty sighed. “I’ll phone out for soup. But her tissues better end up in a trash can, you hear me?”

[Anonymouse]

So you're the lovely tumblr-er who filled this prompt!!! Can't say I'm not surprised to find out that you wrote this amazing little piece of work... nor should you be surprised that it was I who requested this lol

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“Oh yeah. I think she just doesn’t want to be alone, so she gets scared I’ll make her go home if she admits it.”

BABE. Ugh. Way to rip out my heartstrings.

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Holtzmann was sat at her workbench with her eyes closed, head supported on one fist. She snapped upright at the sound of the door, folded her arms and glowered at them all. 

I love this... the sickie trying to have a moment of weakness and just rest for a sec, but then she has an audience so she has to go back to seeming like she's fine. I love that she's a little testy too, poor thing. 

Omg, PICKLE. I'm impressed with your ability to come up with a cool weapon name AND nickname!

Holtz struggling to get through her explanation while the other women stand there waiting for her to detonate... 

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“Oh, that is it, missy! Erin, Patty, help me carry her upstairs.”

“Carry her?” Patty sounded seriously unimpressed. “You are kidding, right?"

“I can’t handle her alone! She’s a biter!”

 

Omg 

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To the horror of everyone present, including herself, Holtzmann’s eyes were starting to bead with tears. Her lip wobbled.

RIP MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT WHY DON'T YOU

That middle name is so perfect for her.  This whole story was perfect. Thank you so so so so much for writing this!!!

[RiversD]

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

Can't say I'm not surprised to find out that you wrote this amazing little piece of work... nor should you be surprised that it was I who requested this lol

*finger guns* I got your back.

You're awesome, not least for pushing me into actually trying to write for this universe. Thanks for being so sweet about my efforts!

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

Omg, PICKLE.

My finest hour.

(not least because I was going to call it a gherkin or something before I remembered she's American)

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

RIP MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT WHY DON'T YOU

Uh... whoops? I didn't mean to get mushy, but it turns out she's a soft bean when she's not at full bounce.

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

That middle name is so perfect for her.

You're very lovely to give me feedback. Thanks!