Misfire (Critical Role, Percy, M) (2/?)

[Winged]

This fic has been in the works for a loooong while now, but since I have four exams/assignments/papers in the next two weeks I have found myself with much more time to write all of a sudden  This fic features Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, or "Percy," the introverted gunslinger of Vox Machina. He has an arc that explores a lot of vulnerability for his character - including a curse that gives him coughing fits and makes the others ask if he's ill - and while this particular fic has no spoilers for that arc, it was my inspiration.

Many thanks to @Junia because I yell at them all the time about how much I love these darn characters, and they yell right back  and yes I based Percy's sneezes off of Taliesin's because why not

--

Percy’s workshop was located in the basement of Greyskull Keep, so it tended towards moist and chilly. Most days he was too caught up in his tinkering to be bothered by the temperature. Today however, he was trembling.
 

He had been able to push through the hunger beginning to gnaw in the pit of his stomach and the dryness collecting in the corners of his eyes, but after several hours of shivering he found himself completely unable to perform fine motor movements without dropping a screw or stabbing himself with a tool.
 

Percy had sunk onto a corner stool with a waterskin and quite a bit of frustration when he heard footsteps descending.
 

“Hullo the stairs,” he called out, muffling a dry cough into his wrist.
 

“Hullo Percy!” It was Vex, and she sounded chipper. Normally Percy could tolerate the extroverts on his team, but he had a headache and really just wanted to get back to work.
 

Vex, however, often brought him food, so Percy didn’t dissuade her.
 

True to form, as she came into view, the dark-haired half-elf was carrying a tray of something that smelled delicious even from here, and Percy found himself smiling.
 

“Did you sleep at all?” Vex asked, stepping carefully around the piles of equipment scattered across the workshop floor. “You’re wearing the same clothes from last evening.”
 

Oh, so he was. “I’m not sure,” he replied honestly, “I’ve been -- ”
 

“Working, I know,” Vex finished his sentence, flashing him a crooked smile before plopping the tray onto the table before him. She met his eyes then, and the smile quickly melted from her face. “Are you all right?”
 

She asked him this a lot after he pulled all-nighters in the basement, and Percy always replied the same way. “Yes, quite.”
 

But today for whatever reason, she was not convinced. She even came around the table to put her hand across his forehead, which was so unexpected that Percy flinched back and nearly fell off his stool. No one in Vox Machina touched him that often, perhaps aside from Keyleth, and even Vex had never touched his face like this. (It was like Cassandra used to, the time when he was young and he fell into the river and became ill, and his mind shrank away from the memory.)
 

“You’re warm,” Vex mused, placing her palm to his cheek as quickly as lightning before dancing out of his reach. Ah, that explained his shivering. “And you don’t look well at all.”

Undeterred, Percy got up and returned to his workbench, putting his back to Vex’ahlia. “You may leave me, Vex,” he said firmly, trying to harden his tone, but she remained undeterred.
 

“You’re shaking, Percy,” Vex said from where she now stood at his side. His hand on the table trembled, and she placed her fingers over his, sending a shiver of a different sort through his body. “You’re clearly ill.”
 

His traitorous lungs - they’d always been weak, blast it all - chose that moment to seize, and he turned away from the half-elf to cough wetly into his elbow. That seemed to set Vex’s mind, and she put her hand on his arm as if she meant to drag him out of his workroom.
 

“You need to be in bed, not down here in the damp.” She gave his arm a little tug, but Percy pulled away.
 

“I have a lot to get done,” he protested. But when she glared at him, brown eyes flashing, he rolled his eyes. “If I feel poorly in two hours, you can take me anywhere you wish, all right?”
 

“One hour,” Vex said firmly, ever the haggler, and Percy sighed his acquiescence.
 

“One hour.”
 

--
 

He expected the hour to pass far too quickly and for Vex’s departure to leave him in blissful silence again. But twenty minutes in, he found himself wishing she would come back.
 

The headache that had been waxing and waning all morning (evening? day?) set in in force, and his cough grew more and more troublesome. He found quickly that he could get no more work done in his current state, and retreated to flipping through old workbook sketches in hopes that he could regain some inspiration.
 

“Percy!”
 

It was Keyleth, clattering down the stairs and jumping over the last few so she landed in a swirl of robes and red hair. Percy cleared his throat and forced a smile.
 

“What are you up to?” He asked her, removing his spectacles and polishing them absently.
 

She shrugged, perching on the end of one of his tables and dangling her feet. “Garden stuff mostly,” she said. “I planted some witch hazel and leechwort.”
 

He knew what witch hazel looked like, but leechwort was a foreign plant to Percy, and he was in the process of handing Keyleth his sketchpad to draw it when a sudden tickle in his nose made his breath catch and eyelids flutter. He all but tossed the paper and quill to Keyleth and turned his torso away from her, frantically bringing cupped hands to his face to catch a very vocal “yhhIIIIshh’oo!”
 

“Bless!” Keyleth squeaked, having drawn her legs up towards her chest in surprise. Percy recomposed himself as quickly as possible with a sniffle and a sheepish smile.
 

“Sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” he said lightly, pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth in between sentences to stave off the second sneeze he could feel lingering high in his nose. Apparently Vex hadn’t passed on her worries to anyone else though, because Keyleth just flashed him a sunny smile and went about sketching the leechwort she’d coaxed into germination.
 

“It’s supposed to be a very good herb for healing!” She said, the quill dancing across the paper in deft lines as she drew the beginnings of a leafy shrub. “And Gilmore said he would buy it for 25 gold a pound, which really isn’t bad at all!”
 

“Don’t tell Vex,” Percy mused, teasing, “or else she’ll have you grow -- hh -- grhhh -- growingIIIISCHHHoo! Sorry Keyleth.” She had jumped again, and now was looking at Percy with concern in her bright eyes as he held the back of his hand beneath his seizing nostrils.
 

“Do I still have pollen on my clothes?” She asked anxiously, glancing down at her green robes as if she could see the yellow particles glistening there.
 

Percy felt his cheeks warming. There had been several incidents when he had suffered allergy attacks in response to an unknown plant in Keyleth’s garden, and the young druid now exercised a great deal of caution in shaking out her clothing before visiting him in his workshop.
 

“You’re all right,” he said, which was true. The thickening congestion behind his cheekbones and forehead were more indicative of the cold he seemed to be coming down with than of his allergies. “The air is just dry down here.”
 

That, of course, was an utter lie, as they were in one of the moistest parts of the keep, but Keyleth gladly took the absolution from responsibility and went back to chatting about her new pet project while Percy tried very hard to keep from visibly wilting.
 

“Percy?”
 

He’d nodded off while she was talking, sweet Pelor. The gunslinger removed his glasses and scrubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand.
 

“I haven’t slept, Keyleth, I’m so sorry. I’d love to see your plant later, though.”
 

She perked up at that and happily returned Percy’s sketchbook to him. She had quite the eye for line work, he noticed absently. Maybe she could assist him with a blueprint sometime.
 

“Go get some sleep, okay?” She threw her arms around him in a hug and then was back up the stairs again, humming a bawdy tune from Scanlan that Percy was almost sure she didn’t know the true lyrics of.
 

He waited until the door at the top of the stairs closed with a thud before dipping his head back into tented hands again and giving in to a congested double that made his head spin. “hgIHHHgch! IHgch’oo!”
 

Percy had to scramble for a handkerchief post-sneezes and found that after cleaning himself up he could hardly breathe through his nose at all.
 

“Great,” he sighed, flinching mentally away from the sound of his own, very ill-sounding voice. There was no way he’d be able to get past Vex now. It was better to retreat to his chambers and try his best to sleep off whatever malady he’d contracted.
 

With a heavy sigh, he extinguished the lights in his workshop and began to drag his - now aching - body up the stairs to the main wing of the keep.

Edited July 8, 2017 by Winged

[bloom]

AAAAH, I got so excited to see that this was what the notification that popped up was for!!!

Oh my god, dude, I love him....! As you well know. I'm so glad you took inspiration from the Whitestone arc for this because I think it's really a goldmine. I am ALSO glad that Vex is here because their dynamic is so good, and this line:

15 minutes ago, Winged said:

“One hour,” Vex said firmly, ever the haggler, and Percy sighed his acquiescence.

is just so both of them, and I love it. I also really like him invoking Vex when she's not even there because as much as I never ship anything ever, I really do like Perc'ahlia, and so like the thought of her being on his mind (even if it is just to have a gentle dig at her). 

Percy is just so....... susceptible and vulnerable without being too easy a target, so he's perfect for a fic like this. I'm so glad you wrote it and I hope you do more  

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS FANDOM BUT SHIT! I read this on a whim because I saw "cursed coughing fits" and hhnnnnnnghggg. Percy's vulnerability is

[Alabaster]

YEsss!

[queenie]

This is ideal. I will have twelve more installments, please!

[aderyn]

I love this! The way Percy interacts with both Vex and Keyleth, each in their different way, is great.

Also, the title is brilliant. Poor Percy rolled all those natural 1's on his "don't sneeze" rolls.

[MeForever]

u are a really good writer!!!!!!

[alias]

Love this!  Omg I never even THOUGHT about writing Critical Role into a fic, and I'm so glad you did.  And I'm so glad you set it during this arc, cuz my imagination sure was running wild back when I watched it. XD  You do an excellent job at portraying each of the characters!  And I love Percy.  He's definitely one of my favorites.  Great work!  I can't wait for more. ^.^

[ID2006]

Omg omg omg, YES!!!! CRITICAL ROLE!!!!!!

[Anonymouse]

Quote

 

“Are you all right?”
 

She asked him this a lot after he pulled all-nighters in the basement, and Percy always replied the same way. “Yes, quite.”

 

 

yesssss, he's one of those characters.

 

That first sneeze is so  I love how he got a freebie with Vex having not told Keyleth, but then blows it by sneezing again and rousing suspicion. 

 

Quote

There was no way he’d be able to get past Vex now. It was better to retreat to his chambers and try his best to sleep off whatever malady he’d contracted.

 

That's right, brother, get the jump on her. "Nobody makes me rest but me!"

[Winged]

Thank you so much for the comments, everyone! I wanted to express my appreciation immediately but felt bad bumping the thread without anything new to add to it, haha.

@Junia <3 <3 I'm just happy I have someone to yell about CR with! And thank you so much for the note about Percy and Vex's interactions; at this point in the show I haven't seen a whole of lot of them, but I tried to extrapolate based on how each of them are with the other characters, and I'm glad you approved!

@Kaze wo Hiku That is the highest of compliments, ahhh thank you!! I hope you enjoy it even if you don't know who the heck I'm talking about lmao.

@Alabaster @queenie @MeForever @ickydog2006 thank you all so much for reading and commenting!!

@aderyn the best kind of nat 1s  And it's really neat writing from a media form that has both a narrated and acted aspect; I get to see how Taliesin interacts with Marisha vs how he interacts with Laura or Travis, and it gives me lots of inspiration for in-character stuff. Thank you for reading!

@alias I'm only 30ish episodes in but the Briarwood arc has definitely been my favorite so far. So much H/C! So much quality roleplaying! So many evil [spoilers]!  

@AnonyMouse you already know I love you and how much I appreciate you reading even though you don't know this fandom at all lmao <3

 

General note (for both new readers and critters): be sure you pay attention whether it's Vax or Vex speaking. It was hard enough just hearing it on the show, but when I write my eyes just skip over that vowel in the middle.
      - Vax = Vax'ildan = half-elf rogue and de facto party leader
      - Vex = Vex'ahlia = half-elf ranger. They're twins!

 

His quarters had never seemed so far away.
 

It wasn’t until he reached the top of the stairs that he realized how utterly chilled he was -- even on the warmer first floor of the keep, Percy felt the need to hug his arms to his chest to generate even a little bit of body heat.
 

As he slowly trudged along the hallway, feet dragging, he began to cough again: dry, ticklish spasms that only served to irritate his throat further. His eyes and nose were both streaming when he rounded a corner and nearly ran head-first into Vax.
 

“Whoa there, Percival,” Vax said, half laughing as he held the exhausted gunslinger out at arm’s length, hands braced on his shoulders. But the smile faded quickly from his face to be replaced by a look of creeping concern. “Have you been -- are you all right?”
 

Gods, he was tired of people asking him that. Percy forced a watery smile and turned away from Vax to wipe at his eyes. “Something in my throat,” he said, or tried to say, but his voice had been reduced to a congested rasp that only made him fall into another coughing fit. He felt Vax’s palm strike him gently between his shoulder blades, then heard Vax murmur to a passing servant, “Get him some water, please.”
 

“‘M fine,” Percy wheezed once the fit had subsided, and he was trying to sniffle back the congestion that had begun to trickle onto his upper lip when Vax produced a handkerchief from his vest.
 

“Here,” he said, placing it in Percy’s palm, and Percy turned away from Vax to blow his nose, blushing scarlet. The halfling servant returned then with a pitcher of water and a tankard, and Vax accepted them with thanks before filling the tankard.
 

“Drink,” Vax commanded again, and Percy obeyed. Once he had lowered the glass, he found Vax watching him with knowing eyes. “Let’s try that again...are you all right, Percival?”
 

Percy’s first instinct was to fight Vax and his smug superiority, but he felt tired all the way down to his bones, and he shivered pathetically. “Truthfully, I think I’ve come down with something,” he admitted, and saying so was like releasing a small weight from his shoulders. He was allowed to be ill, he reminded himself.
 

Vax made a small sound of sympathy. “It sounds it,” he said, clapping a hand to Percy’s shoulder. “I think bed is in order, yeah?”

Bed sounded positively blissful at this moment, and Percy sniffled and nodded.

Percy felt like he was sleep-walking as they traversed the halls, Vax with a hand at his elbow like he expected him to collapse at any moment. Everything seemed a little too bright and a little too blurry, and in a brief moment of lucidity he marveled at how quickly he had fallen ill - before stumbling and falling to a knee. The floor of the keep was cold, hard stone and he winced, then allowed Vax to haul him to his feet again.

“Come on,” he thought he heard Vax murmur, his voice gentle with a tone usually only reserved for his sister.  

Percy hadn’t seen his bed in almost three days, and its soft mattress looked so much more inviting than the hard cot he kept in his workshop. “I don’t know why I don’t sleep here more often,” he said blearily, and he felt Vax chuckle over his shoulder.
 

“You and the rest of us, too.”
 

Percy’s eyes were closing almost as soon as he’d settled beneath his blankets, but his last image before falling into the void of sleep was the twins standing in the doorway to his chambers, Vex’s dark brows furrowed in concern.
 

He didn’t know how much later it was when he staggered into consciousness again - his head was aching and swimming, and time seemed like something far too complicated to be comprehending right now - but what he did know was that he couldn’t breathe.
 

Panic beginning to spike through his veins, Percy bolted upright in bed and began coughing into his fist: deep, choking coughs that made his chest ache. Though it was painful, the coughing fit seemed to lessen the pressure on his chest as it slowed and Percy spat mucus into an empty cup at his bedside.
 

He also couldn’t breathe through his nose, which had led to the feeling of suffocation. Already exhausted again, Percy let himself fall back against his pillows.
 

“Percy?”

In his feverish state, he placed the voice as someone from his childhood. “Mother?” He rasped.

He could hear the footsteps hesitate, and his eyes flicked open. Vex stood a few paces from his bedside, her hands twined in front of her in an uncharacteristic display of unsureness. She looked very uncomfortable.
 

“It's me, Percy,” she said softly.
 

“Oh. Yes, of course,” he replied, blinking. “I'm -- I’m sorry.”
 

“It's all right.” She took a step towards Percy’s bed and stopped. “How are you feeling?”
 

Trying to assess and to articulate words at the same time was too difficult, so Percy closed his eyes. His head and throat ached, his nose was completely stuffed, and his chest felt heavy and tight. His eyes flickered open again.
 

“Bad.” His voice was gravely and half an octave lower than usual, but he managed a smile. “Hi.”
 

Vex gave a little huff of a laugh. “Hi, Percy.” Another step towards his bed, then she settled on the edge of the mattress. Her hand fluttered up like she was thinking of touching his forehead, but it stilled and returned to her lap. “Do you need anything?”
 

Percy coughed, moaned, then coughed again. “Some water would be great. Maybe a new set of lungs.”
 

Vex smiled, though her eyes were sad. “Keyleth is working on a potion for you. It should at least bring your fever down.”
 

“That would be good.” Percy shifted beneath his covers, trying to find a position where he was not as achy. Maybe Vex could find him a potion for pain too. When he looked up again, she was still watching him, a tiny crease between her brows. “What?”
 

“Why don't you ever let me help you?” Her words came out all in a rush, and Percy flinched as she slapped her hand down onto the bedspread. “You do this every time, Percival!”
 

For a brief second Percy considered playing dumb, but a badly timed inhale sent a tickle streaking through his sinuses like a bullet. He angled his torso away from Vex as well as he could to give way to a stuffy “ggIIIISHHhh!” that left his nostrils twitching with dissatisfaction.
 

He felt Vex startle on the mattress beside him and begin to offer a blessing, but he was already inhaling into his next sneeze. “hhEEESHHhu!” It was wetter than the first, and he snuffled dazedly into his palm until Vex handed him a handkerchief.
 

“Bless you,” she said, and as Percy buried his nose in the soft cloth, he caught a hint of the pine-and-earth scent that always seemed to drape around Vex like a cloak.
 

“Gods, Vex,” he sighed, though he was pleased to find that he could partially breathe through his nose again. “I think I may be dying.”
 

She looked startled at first, but then the lines around her eyes began to soften. “I know, darling,” she said. Her hand fluttered from her lap and landed on Percy’s thigh like a cautious bird. “Do you think you can sleep more?”
 

Despite himself, he yawned. “Perhaps,” he murmured. “‘m cold though.” Yet he could feel the heat radiating off of his skin; it was a curious sensation.
 

Vex touched the back of her hand to his forehead and clicked her tongue. “Your fever feels so high,” she fretted softly. “Would you like another blanket?”
 

“I feel like I’m drowning in blankets.” He sniffed, itching briefly at his nose with thumb and forefinger.

Vex’s pause was long enough that Percy looked up in curiosity. “Would you like me to lie with you for a bit?” She asked, her voice not far above a murmur. Her eyes were on the bedspread, not on Percy. “Just until you can sleep again.”

Percy felt his ears warm but found himself nodding shyly. “If you’d like.”

After she had nestled in beside him, arm draped across his torso in a casual display of affection that made him shiver, it took Percy mere moments to drift back to sleep.

Edited May 5, 2017 by Winged
wtf forum, stop posting my things before I'm done typing them up

[Snapdragon]

I've only watched a tiny bit of CR but I'm absolutely loving this - the whole squad banding together to take care of Percy is adorable. And those sneeze spellings, damn.

[MeForever]

On 5-5-2017 at 8:04 AM, Cashew said:

And those sneeze spellings, damn.

This is something I HIGHLY agree with!!

Edited May 6, 2017 by MeForever

[queenie]

Ohhh sweet goodness. I am... Not Very Far into the show, but I adore your handling of the characters and I feel so many tender heart-feelings. Vex is so worried and caring, and Vax struck a really good balance between helping and making sure not to fuss too much. Percy is really quite ill, poor thing!

[Dylan]

I'm so happy there's an actual cr fic??? I've only recently started watching it but I LOVE percy this is amazing (I agree with everyone,, those are some good spellings)

[LeadaAlexys52]

Oh God's, this is beautiful.  It's like you crawled into my mind and found all my Percy dreams and made them come true!