Lana from Archer Drabble/Fic

[Wilde]

In celebration of the start of season 8 of Archer ánd allergy season, I wrote this small one shot featuring Lana and a bit of Sterling. I don't know if there are too many fans of the show here; I recall seeing Lana mentioned in a thread about characters one'd like to see sneezing, but if not just consider this a small and horribly indulgent fic. Without further ado:

 

“Hii-TSHIEW!” The sneeze caught Lana off guard and made her stagger ever so slightly in her high heels. In a half-hearted expression of misery she rolled her eyes and delicately dabbed her nose with a fresh tissue. When the lift finally made its *DING* she walked into the central hall of the headquarters where the bright California light coaxed out another “HU-HUH-TCHI”. 

“Gee Lana, you sound terrible.” Caught off guard, she turned around swiftly to see Archer, carrying a coffee mug and an annoying smile. Before she could even think about getting mad at him, the continuous tickle in her nose erupted into another two sneezes, which she caught in the tissue. 

“And you look pretty awful too, to be honest.” Lana frowned, but before she could get any further than “You know what…”, her breath started to hitch and her already sensitive nose caught the scent of whatever was in the coffee mug, probably bourbon or brandy, and it aggravated the strong urge to sneeze even more. “HiCHOO, HE-HECHOO, HiiiTCHOO”

Once she caught her breath, she looked over at a frowning Sterling, and simply exclaimed “Allergies.”. “It’s been worse - sniff - since we moved he-eeh-eeeh-here.” 

“Shall I babysit A.J. tonight? You look pretty miserable,” Archer suggested. “Babysit?” Lana responded, getting angrier again. “She’s your child, Archer!” “Yeah, only you failed to mention that until…” Sterling was interrupted, in his very own manner, by Lana’s raised hand as she caught another sneeze in the palm of her other hand. “That would be nice though, if you could babysit. Thanks. Eh-Ehh-EHCHOO.”

 

(By the way, I'm not sure if it's small enough to be in the Drabbles subforum, if so do please move it!) 

[Anonymouse]

I love it!  I've been wanting to see some Archer around here for yeeears. I love the idea of people's allergies getting worse when they move to a new environment. 

[Wilde]

11 minutes ago, AnonyMouse said:

I love it!  I've been wanting to see some Archer around here for yeeears. I love the idea of people's allergies getting worse when they move to a new environment. 

Thank you so much! Yeah the move they made on the actual show set the decor for that perfectly, and I have the same thing for environmental allergies. I'm really very glad you like it! 

[beatlelover22]

4 hours ago, Sooph said:

“Shall I babysit A.J. tonight? You look pretty miserable,” Archer suggested. “Babysit?” Lana responded, getting angrier again. “She’s your child, Archer!”

 I laughed way too hard at that line!! This was such a cute drabble!

[Wilde]

6 hours ago, beatlelover22 said:

 I laughed way too hard at that line!! This was such a cute drabble!

Aww, thank you so much! I'm really glad you like it! (:

[NoV]

I absolutely love Archer and cannot wait for series 8!  I've always imagined Lana not to be a girl who holds back when it comes to sneezes, and I especially enjoyed this drabble. Any time you want to write more, you will find and avid reader right here...  

[Wilde]

14 minutes ago, NoV said:

I absolutely love Archer and cannot wait for series 8!  I've always imagined Lana not to be a girl who holds back when it comes to sneezes, and I especially enjoyed this drabble. Any time you want to write more, you will find and avid reader right here...  

Thanks so much! I'm over the moon that I wrote something and people like it, and I'm strongly considering continuing with Lana for a bit, maybe Sterling as well. Speaking of season 8, I've just seen the first episode and I'm absolutely hooked, can't wait for the rest! 

[Wilde]

I quite enjoyed writing the first drabble, and because I have waaay to much time on my hands I decided to write another one. I can't edit the original post or the title or anything, so I hope this finds whomever wants to read it. @NoV, here's to you:

 

Kneeling behind a dumpster, squeezed in between a wall, a pile of trash bags, and Archer, Lana felt the familiar tickle beginning to spread in her nose. Soon enough, she spotted what was most likely the culprit; an extraordinarily bushy stray cat sleeping about a meter or so away, seemingly unfazed by the commotion that had just died down. As she let go of her gun with one hand, her face pulled the all too familiar pre-sneeze expression. Covering her nose and mouth as well as she could, she let out a muffled “HM-CHOO”. 

Sterling looked up, frowning. “Seriously, now?” “Don’t be an ass, you know I can’t help it!” Lana hissed in reply. “Seriously though, if this guy finds us you mi-EH-EHH-EHCHOO, will have to cover for me.” The sound of her uncovered sneeze was loud enough to get the animal to open one yellow eye, but it wasn’t enough to get him to leave, and she wouldn’t be able to do so without a stir either. 

“I mean it Archer, do something!” she hissed again, only to find Sterling carefully put his gun down on the dirty cobblestones, raise one finger, and materialise a hip flask from his pocket. She watched him down at least a third of the bourbon inside before he spoke. 

“You didn’t say sorry,” he replied, raising one eyebrow. “HI-TCHOO” was all she was able to respond with. Once she had managed to catch her breath again, her response sounded angry. “Say sorry what for?”

“Calling me an ass, Lana, duh.” Sterling took another gulp from the hip flask and put it back in his pocket. All Lana could vocalise was another desperate-sounding sneeze. 

“Anyways, I think we shook him off quite well,” Sterling remarked, only to be shot an angry look by Lana, whose eyes had started to water. “Don’t worry, I forgive you,” she heard Archer say. 

“Why are we hiding anyway?” Lana asked, her breath still hitching every few syllables. “Okay, so don’t get mad, but maybe I saw this guy from the casino, and maybe I hit on his wife a while back, and maybe I owe him some money, and maybe he’s pissed at me. Maybe.” 

“ARGH, you’re just… you’re unbelievable,” Lana hissed as Sterling got up. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” She rose to her feet and let out another “HI-TCHOO, HI-HIITCHOO” as they made their way out of the dark alley.

[InLivingColor]

I love both of these drabbles. You've captured the two of them perfectly here and I'd love to read more.

[Wilde]

58 minutes ago, InLivingColor said:

I love both of these drabbles. You've captured the two of them perfectly here and I'd love to read more.

Wow, thank you very much! That's an amazing compliment, especially given the fact that I haven't written any fan fiction whatsoever in at least 5 years. I'm definitely motivated to continue with these drabbles!

[NoV]

20 hours ago, Sooph said:

@NoV, here's to you:

 

Thank you so much  I enjoyed reading this just as much as the first - Lana's sneezes sound amazing, and I love the way you have nailed the characters as well  

[Wilde]

1 hour ago, NoV said:

Thank you so much  I enjoyed reading this just as much as the first - Lana's sneezes sound amazing, and I love the way you have nailed the characters as well  

Again, thanks! I'm planning on writing a whole lot more, and - this goes for everyone - if you have a request or prompt or anything you'd like to see written I'd be more than happy to take it! I'll probably open a new topic for these and the coming ones, as I can't edit this (: