Strays (Ghostbusters 2016, Secret Santa for Clint)

[Chanel_no5]

Hello there, @Clint, I’m your Secret Santa this year!

While I have written this fandom before – *cough*once*cough* – I still don’t feel like I’ve got a complete grasp of the characters, but I did my best and I hope they’re not too OOC.

I hope you’ll like it. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!  

 

***

“I think Holtzy has finally sailed over the edge of madness,” Patty stated when Erin came in.

“What do you mean?”

“She has been over there, in her little fortress of terrifying gadgets, talking to herself in a baby voice since I got here an hour ago.”

“She’s probably just talking to her weapons,” Erin said reassuringly, then scowled when she heard what she said. Holtzmann babying her insane weapon creations was one thing, but Holtzmann baby-talking to them? That did not bode well. Patty seemed to agree.

“Was that supposed to calm me down? Because that did not calm me down.”

“Come on, let’s see what she’s up to.”

“Nuh-uh, I ain’t going anywhere near that radioactive scrapheap,” Patty said. Erin sighed. She wasn’t particularly eager to herself – she still had the burns on one arm from testing out one of Holtzmann’s latest inventions – but in addition to being worried, she was also starting to get curious.

“Hey, Holtzmann!” she called out. “I’m coming over! So, uh, put down whatever nuclear-powered device you’re holding, okay?” she added nervously, knowing you could never really know what Holtz was up to.

When she turned around one of the work benches covered in various metallic parts, something big and furry leapt up at her, and she screamed out loud and jumped back, accidentally knocking over some things that fell to the floor with a clanking noise.

Holtzmann came after the furry creature, laughing.

“Oh man, you should’ve seen the look on your face!”

She absently ran a hand under her nose a couple of times while Erin composed herself and gave the creature another look. It was a dog, a crossbreed that seemed to have some German Shepherd and some Labrador plus God knew what else in it. It wagged its tail back and forth, so it was probably not going to attack her. At least she hoped so.

“Say hello to Buster, our new mascot,” Holtz said as she grabbed the dog’s ears and began massaging them. Buster seemed to very much approve of the rough but hearty treatment.  

“W-where did he come from?”

Holtz gave Erin a playful glance.

“You see Erin, when two dogs love each other very much…”

“Oh God!” Erin said and shook her head. She didn’t want Holtz to notice that she actually blushed, but the smirk on the blonde’s face confirmed that she had noticed and would probably use it for further teasing later on. “I meant where did you get him?!”

Holtz rubbed her nose again, grimacing as if it was bothering her something awful.

“He got here all by himself,” she said. “Stray. I assume. I saw him poking around the garbage and I offered him my sandwich instead.”

“Your sandwiches are garbage,” Patty filled in. “I can’t believe you eat that crap.”

“I didn’t, because I gave it to Buster,” Holtz grinned, but the grin soon turned into a look of annoyed discomfort. “Uh-oh, hang on guys I have to… huh… aeTTSSHHah!”

Patty turned to Erin.

“She’s been doing that all morning too.”

Holtzmann had stopped listening; she dug her fingers into the dog’s thick fur and scratched it until it dropped on the floor and rolled around, letting out excited barks. Holtz paused for a moment, turned away from the animal and released another sneeze over her shoulder. Her nose seemed to have turned an even deeper shade of pink while Erin was looking at her, and she wriggled it a couple of times as if the tickle that brought on these sneezes was still present and accounted for.

“Are you alright?” Erin asked.

“Never better,” Holtz sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

“Because you do sound like you’re… uh… like you’re coming down with a cold or something,” Erin said.

“I’m fine, right Buster? Yeah, mommy’s fine and you’re the best boy, aren’t you?” the blonde cooed, while scratching the dog behind its ears so enthusiastically the fur flew up in the air and soared around her.

“I think she’s allergic,” Patty said.

“Yeah, but it’s not bad,” Holtz said.

“You… you know you’re allergic to dogs, and you still think we should keep him?” Erin asked in a ‘let-me-make-sure-I-got-this-right’ voice.

“Yep,” Holtz said. “Just look into those eyes, can you say no to those eyes?”

Erin looked into Holtz’s (watery and red-rimmed) eyes rather than the dog’s, and she sighed.

“No, unfortunately I can’t.”

“Didn’t think so,” Holtz said, her voice decidedly more nasal now than it had been only when the conversation first started. She was definitely not just a little bit allergic, and it didn’t even seem to have hit the peak yet. Maybe this once Jillian Holtzmann would realise that she was in way over her head… or at least her nose.

***

Two hours later, the sneezes coming from Holtzmann’s work area were far more frequent and a lot more forceful than they had been before. Patty and Erin exchanged looks each time Holtz surrendered to yet another violent allergic outburst, but neither felt comfortable taking charge of the situation. Abby probably would have if she had been around, but she was stuck at a family reunion in some Godforsaken small-town in the middle of nowhere.

“She can’t go on like that, you know,” Patty said after Holtzmann let loose with a particularly itchy fit of four in a row, an outburst that echoed off the walls and was followed by Buster’s happy bark. Apparently he had a lot of fun making her sneeze.

“I know, but what do you want me to do? Tell Holtzmann what to do? I bet it would be easier to just tell the dog to stop shedding,” Erin replied, and Patty snorted.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, but still…”

“Guys, take a loo-uhTSSHH! HahTSSHHew! Look at this!” Holtzmann called out excitedly, spraying two sneezes freely into the air as she walked, but kept walking (and talking) as if nothing happened. In her wake padded Buster, dressed in his very own jumpsuit, which was kind of cute. But Patty and Erin both reacted more to the other accessory that Holtzmann had provided him with.

“Jesus, Holtz, you can’t give the dog a weapon!”

“It’s just a tiny one,” Holtz replied and wiped her glaringly inflamed nose with her sleeve.

“It doesn’t matter! A dog can’t carry a nuclear ray gun!”

“Yes he can, it’s not too heavy for him.”

“That’s not what concerns me!” Erin almost shrieked. “Disarm the dog!”

Holtzmann gave an exaggerated eyeroll in response.

“All right,” she said and bent down to take the gun away. Her nostrils twitched and flared helplessly as another sneeze kept teasing her, and one allergic tear escaped her eye and trickled down her flushed cheek. Erin could see how desperately Holtzmann’s corrupted immune system tried to fight the invading dog hairs and dander, but only managing to bring further desperation to the allergic blonde as it did.

“Holtzmann,” she said. “I think I have some antihistamines upstairs if you…”

The other woman waved away her offer and stood up again, putting the gun on the nearest, cluttered work bench, and pinched her nose for a couple of seconds, as if pushing back another sneeze.

“I just need to blow my nose,” she said thickly after lowering her hand again, but she didn’t look straight at Erin when she spoke. She seemed to get more and more affected by the minute, her swollen eyes watering constantly, and the wet sniffling came with each inhale now. The tickle in her nose had to be terrible.

“You know what,” Patty said. “I’m taking the dog out for a walk. That should give your poor nose a bit of a break, at least.”

Erin gave her a grateful nod, and even Holtzmann seemed to relent.

“Alright,” she said, her voice drenched with congestion and wavering with the rising and falling urge to sneeze again. “M-maybe I could use… hehh… a breaEYISSHHoo! Break from this.”

“Maybe, she says,” Patty said, rolling her eyes at Erin before turning to the dog. “Come to Patty, fuzzball, let’s go walkie.”

Buster certainly knew what ‘walkies’ were, and he barked impatiently as he followed her towards the door.

As soon as the door had slammed shut behind them, Erin turned back to Holtzmann.

Who was nowhere to be seen.

“Aw come on!” Erin said, throwing her arms out. “Get back here!”

Holtzmann emerged from the disarrayed work area.

“What? I’ve got work to d-do… huh…. huhAAAschKTSHH!” She shook her head, chuckling a little. “Oh man, that was a weird one.” She glanced at Erin, smirking in a way that was one part apologetic and two parts amused by her own apparent deterioration.

“Think I sprayed you there, Erihhhh… hhihASCHHuh!”

Erin wasn’t going to let Holtz get her side-tracked. The other woman was already a sniffly, sneezy mess and she was rapidly getting worse.  

 “No, nope, don’t worry. I’m good. But you’re not.”

“Oh, this? It’s nothing, it’s gonna stop in a moment,” Holtz said and dug through her pockets to find something to blow her nose in. When she took out the same rag she had used to wipe oil off the work bench a while ago, Erin felt she had to physically intervene. She simply took the rag from Holtzmann and threw it in the trashcan.

“Hey!” Holtz objected, but was overcome with another bout of tickly, itchy sneezes and had to abandon her attempts to speak while she got the rapid-fire attack out of her battered, tender sinuses.

Meanwhile, Erin had searched through her own pockets and found an open travel pack of Kleenex. She didn’t think it would last very long given Holtzmann’s… intense condition, but it was better than nothing. And most certainly better than the rag.

“Here you go,” she said, stuffing a couple of tissues into Holtzmann’s hands. “I think you may have to face facts here,” she said while the blonde blew her nose forcefully.

“What facts?” Holtz sniffled.

“Oh I don’t know, that your ‘mild’ allergies turned out to be the allergic equivalent of a volcano eruption, maybe? Or that you refuse to keep a distance to the animal that’s setting you off, which may not be the smartest way to handle things?”

As Holtzmann lowered the tissues Erin was treated to a full view of her nose. It was bright red except just around the twitching nostrils, where it was a glowing, irritated, itchy-looking crimson.

“I have never seen anyone look so miserable in my life,” Erin continued. “Please, let me get you some antihistamines?”

Holtzmann shrugged and put her goggles back on. Even behind the tinted glass, her eyes were visibly bloodshot and swollen.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll get back to work.”

Erin’s face got a look of quiet panic as she saw Holtzmann reach for the blowtorch. Not even with the brigade of fire extinguisher that Patty had insisted on putting up in and around Holtzmann’s working area would she feel comfortable knowing that Holtz was operating that thing. It was scary even at the best of times, but knowing she might start sneezing like a madwoman at any second while playing around with fire… just, no way!

“Knock it off,” Erin said. “You’re not in any shape to do that right now, you’re coming upstairs with me.”

Holtzmann opened her mouth to object, but instead began to gasp for air in hitching, shallow breaths, building up to yet another sneeze. Behind the goggles, her eyes fluttered shut. Nostrils wrinkled slightly as she tried to fight back the attack, but it was no use. She snapped forward with the most intense fit so far.

“AeeSSSH! AeeSSHHHoo! HahESSHeew! HatSSHH! AktSSHHh! Uh… huhhh… huhAATSSHHhhuh!”

Once she stopped, she glared at Erin and wiped her nose with what was left of the wad of tissues.

“Okay, I’m coming,” she muttered. “But we’re keeping the dog.”

“Let’s talk about that later. Right now I want to stuff you with antihistamines.”

Even in her chaotic, miserable state, Holtzmann’s (admittedly weird) sense of humour was still intact. She delivered a wicked grin.

“Oh I love it when you talk dirty,” she said. Erin’s cheeks flushed red with embarrassment once more.

“Shut up.”

Holtzmann’s grin lingered. The tickle began to overtake her again, but the grin stayed on her face until the sneeze was a fact.

“HaaaaSSHHHEW!”

“Bless you.”

“Ugh, my nose itches.”

“Thank you for that analysis, Captain Obvious,” Erin said. “What I don’t get is why you’d let that dog in here in the first place if you knew that you’d suffer a reaction like that.”

Holtzmann’s playfulness seemed to have left her this rare moment, and she seemed completely earnest when she looked Erin straight in the eyes and replied;

“Because I know what it’s like to be a stray. You need someone to take you in. Like Abby did with me. Okay?”

Erin nodded and put a tentative arm around Holtz’s shoulders.

“Okay. Now I get it. We'll figure something out.”

Holtzmann's eyes were so watery you couldn't know for sure if the tears were from allergies alone, or something more emotional.

And that was probably just as well.

 

.

Edited December 27, 2016 by Chanel_no5

[Hawkeye]

Ahh!! This was wonderful and I loved it! Everyone was very in character and I love the imagery of Holtz equipping a dog with a ghostbusting outfit

Anyways this was wonderful and adorable and thank you so much!!!

Edited December 30, 2016 by Clint

[SexyGodlikeHair]

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! (Please imagine that in increasing pitch for the full effect)

 

This was lovely! I feel you capture the characters quite well. the ending was great, quite sweet  Despite not being entirely of your own choice, I'm very glad you wrote this. Happy holidays!!!

Edited December 30, 2016 by SexyGodlikeHair

[Anonymouse]

AHHHH this was immaculately written! I feel like I got two gifts for secret Santa this year! It's a bummer you're not feeling this fandom for yourself because you write it sooooo well. As much as you claim to have no grasp on the characters, you write them perfectly AND give Holtz such perfect sneezes. Somehow I knew the moment she picked up a stray that it would tie back to her own experiences. So very sweet and your Patty had me laughing out loud with her commentary. I've said before and I'll day it again - you are the QUEEN of allergy fic!

Quote

"She can’t go on like that, you know,” Patty said after Holtzmann let loose with a particularly itchy fit of four in a row, an outburst that echoed off the walls and was followed by Buster’s happy bark. Apparently he had a lot of fun making her sneeze.

This killed me... Buster, you were given a rare opportunity and I'm glad you're taking full advantage of it.

[Chanel_no5]

 I love how all three comments start with "aahhh!"  

 

On ‎2016‎-‎12‎-‎30 at 5:31 AM, Clint said:

Ahh!! This was wonderful and I loved it! Everyone was very in character and I love the imagery of Holtz equipping a dog with a ghostbusting outfit

Anyways this was wonderful and adorable and thank you so much!!!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Fun fact; the dog-in-jumpsuit image was actually something I dreamed when I was in the midst of brainstorming ideas.  When I woke up I was like "OF COURSE Holtzmann would do something like that! That goes in the fic for sure!"  

 

On ‎2016‎-‎12‎-‎30 at 7:24 AM, SexyGodlikeHair said:

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! (Please imagine that in increasing pitch for the full effect)

 

This was lovely! I feel you capture the characters quite well. the ending was great, quite sweet  Despite not being entirely of your own choice, I'm very glad you wrote this. Happy holidays!!!

Thank you so much! It's always fun when others can enjoy it too!  

 

23 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

AHHHH this was immaculately written! I feel like I got two gifts for secret Santa this year! It's a bummer you're not feeling this fandom for yourself because you write it sooooo well. As much as you claim to have no grasp on the characters, you write them perfectly AND give Holtz such perfect sneezes. Somehow I knew the moment she picked up a stray that it would tie back to her own experiences. So very sweet and your Patty had me laughing out loud with her commentary. I've said before and I'll day it again - you are the QUEEN of allergy fic!

This killed me... Buster, you were given a rare opportunity and I'm glad you're taking full advantage of it.

Awwww you...  I'm so glad you enjoyed it too. I came up with the title before the rest of the story, in fact, I thought "well, Holtzmann did imply that she was something of a stray herself, so... hehe... yeah. ^^ " Honestly, Patty had ME laughing out loud!  Didn't plan her dialogue at all, that was all her. XD

Normally it's cats that are sadistic enough to have fun making people sneeze, but... maybe Buster was raised by cats.  

 

[queenie]

This was amazing.