First times (Star Trek reboot, Spock) - completed

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

I had gotten so far behind in this and I'm not sure how. However, I've rectified that. I enjoyed the Spock-Kirk feels when Kirk finally revealed his fears. The chapter that followed with McCoy and Kirk and a bit of Jim torture was a treat. 

But it this last chapter with TOS Spock was masterful. I know TOS Spock. Star Trek is my first TV memory and Spock my first crush. Each episode is ingrained into my being. Every word you wrote of his was spot on, perfect. With Spock, my Spock, now gone I didn't think I'd hear him again. But I did. Thank you.  

[Red]

On 17.8.2017 at 1:58 PM, Aliena H. said:

The only thing he had managed to do had been to selfishly (not selfishly, Spock, Leonard would have told him with his usual, uncalled-for but welcome benevolence, not selfishly, just… humanly) prepare an envelope labelled “For Dr McCoy, just in case”, in which he had slipped the formula he had found, years ago, in the Fabrini archives. The idea the Leonard of this universe could die because Spock had blindly followed the Prime Directive made him sick.

I love this! For the world is hollow and I have touched the sky is just great and TOS Spock being prepared just in case the other Bones would get in trouble is excellent! 

Perfect chapter! Thank you for this  

[Shamaël]

...

 

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[*Dark_Side*]

This is a really unique take on the McCoy Spock relationship as well as how Spock's human gene's effect him. Usually when you see such raw aggression coming from Spock, you're usually reading about Pon Far or the mirror verse. It would be interesting to see how Spock would feel about what he did once he gains control of himself again. I'm also curious if McCoy would act any differently round Spock after this incident.

[AngelEyes]

My poor dear babies! You can really pull out the angst! But it's so good!

19 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

The first time Bones ends up between two Spocks, God help him, he wonders what he’s done to be punished this way.

No, of course not. In fact, he’s grateful to whatever God gave Jim a shred of intelligence and reminded him to seek help from the only person whose presence can make things better.

LOL. I totally see Bones having both these thoughts!

 

19 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

McCoy, not for the first time, wondered if his role in this ‘family’ was the grumpy old uncle who tells the children that they must eat their vegetables and brush their teeth.

This is super funny!

 

19 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Bones didn’t know how much longer they were going to hold out like this, but it couldn’t last long. They were both exhausted and close to the breaking point.

Heartbreak...

 

19 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Oddly enough, he had no doubt about it. He was virtually psi-null, but in this kind of urgent case, he was sure he’d manage to reach Spock’s mind without difficulty. This third step allowed the healer to block some of the pain (whether it was physical or mental) by taking it for himself. He was ready to do it without a second thought. And even without Spock’s approval if it was necessary.

I love that Bones has this little moment of complete faith that he can and will do Anything it takes to save his friend.

 

19 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

“Can you imagine the scene?” he smiled. “You and I linked for eternity?”

LOL. Oh dear!

 

19 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

“I’m unharmed, Spock,” McCoy answered. “And so, so relieved to know that you’re here with us.”

Awwww! Yay!!!!

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Really too blown away to be coherent...

On 8/29/2017 at 4:05 AM, Aliena H. said:

“And so, so relieved to know that you’re here with us.”

 

Ditto Bones. Spock always makes me feel better whatever the situation. 

[Shamaël]

 

...

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[*Dark_Side*]

This was a perfect follow up to the last part you wrote. I loved the interactions AOS McCoy and TOS Spock, you can really feel the camaraderie between them as well as the empathy that McCoy has for both Spocks. I also feel like you really captured TOS Spock's emotions well and we're great at portraying the conflicted feelings he was experiencing. 

If you decide to write the follow up story, I'm 100% up for reading it. There are never enough fics with Spock and McCoy.

[AngelEyes]

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

In my headcanon, in TOS, they grew old together though. After Jim's death, they did not manage to cope with his absence on their own and needed each other to go on.

Awww. Me too.

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

The thing is, this new story isn't fetishy but it will be a follow-up to "First times", since it will deal with Spock and McCoy's feelings after Spock's ordeal. Would anyone be interested if I translated it in English and, of course, added some sneezes into it? I wanted to write something with a sick McCoy and it could be an opportunity... What do you think?

I would Absolutely read it! Fetish or not!

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

“Yes, yes, I know, I’m not supposed to be here, Starfleet regulation, section 42, paragraph 3. You know I’ve read that thing, don’t you? And that my stubborn first officer spends half his free time refreshing my memory?

LOL, too true!

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

“Sentimental, as always, doctor?”

Jim looked at the Vulcan with dismay, and he realised that he had answered spontaneously, using the only way he had to communicate his relief to doctor McCoy – a caring mockery that had replaced over the years the sarcasms they had thrown to each other in the beginning of their co-working. But he was not speaking to the McCoy he had known for more than a hundred years; he was speaking to a man he had seen all in all twice in his life. He was about to apologize for his uncalled-for familiarity when a little laugh answered him:

“You certainly have a way with people, Spock. I’m all right, I’m not going to die, I’m waiting for you. McCoy out.”

I love this little look at the differences between the two realities and how they transpose themselves on each other.

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

“And I assure you I am”, the chief medical officer answered with a small grin. “I am functioning adequately, to quote your alter ego.”

LOL

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

The old Vulcan did not insist. He knew Leonard McCoy too well. Any attempt at helping him would be answered with a rebuff all the more sharp since the shock had been violent. Spock could read it in Leonard’s posture, in the slight shaking of his left hand and the tension on his shoulders. But he had settled himself into a professional behaviour, which was equivalent to a Vulcan shield – a precise, effective shield the old man could not break. At least, not now.

This is so perfectly McCoy!

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

“You know what, Spock? Yes, I thought about it. It’s the first thing that crossed my mind when I heard the sound of your voice on that damn communicator. And then my professional conscience made me forget about it, because let me tell you, I won’t do it. If it was Jim’s idea…”

I can totally hear and see him right here!

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

It is difficult, not to say impossible, to stand against captain Kirk when he has made up his mind, and he had decided that his first officer should not lead a lonely life. I could not stand a chance.”

This is true. And so sweet.

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

I came back aboard the Enterprise. Or should I say that I came back amongst the crew? That would certainly be more accurate. In the only place in the universe I had ever felt myself.

Awwwww!

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

It is hard, Leonard, to be the last survivor, and to carry on alone.

Sad!

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

Some things never change. And Leonard, beneath a gruff exterior, had always been a sensible psychologist.

Very true.

 

On 8/31/2017 at 5:12 AM, Aliena H. said:

Ri nam-tor du sa'awek, Spock-kan*, he said more softly, gently stroking his clammy hair, as he would have done with a feverish child.

 

Awww.

[Shamaël]

...

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[AngelEyes]

16 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

but in my opinion the old Spock has paternal feelings towards the young Spock and the feelings are reciprocal (the scene in Beyond when Spock tells McCoy that "ambassador Spock has died"... my heart... I had a very hard time trying not to cry in the cinema).

Same!

 

16 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

“No, Spock”, McCoy answered with the ironic tone he usually used when he was speaking to the first officer. “I enjoyed your cervical massage. Honestly, it felt good. You really missed your vocation, you know.”

Oh McCoy!

 

16 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

As a certain doctor McCoy advised me, just… ‘take it easy’.”

Leonard let out a strangled laugh.

“A Spock quoting me. I’m glad I lived long enough to hear that.”

LOL

 

16 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Of course, we are alone. Always and forever.

Sad!

 

16 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

The outburst of anger he feared never came. Instead, he cried, for a long time, until the tears finally dried up. Then, drained, exhausted, feeling empty, he drifted off to sleep.

For the first time in days, he did not dream.

This is a good thing.

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Oh you have out done yourself! The layers of Spock fighting with himself is fascinating. (Yeah, I went there.  ) He is at war with himself on a cellular level, psychological level and even a physical level with the arrival of TOS Spock. I'm so intrigued to see how this turns out. 

[Shamaël]

...

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[AngelEyes]

Awww! Double Spock love!

18 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

“The Hippocratic oath”, McCoy answered immediately. “Do no harm, etcetera", remember? ‘Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.’ I must not play at God, Spock”, he repeated hoarsely.

This is such a serious heartfelt McCoy speech. I can totally see him giving it.

 

18 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

“Yes, I know. But… Don’t you ever doubt, Spock?” The CMO laughed bitterly.

“At every moment”, the ambassador replied without thinking.

I love this little exchange.

 

18 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

“Dammit, Spock, you know what I’m thinking over and over since yesterday? I’ve known him for almost two years. And during those two years, there’s not been a single day without me reproaching him to be too much Vulcan, not human enough. Not a single of our encounters has ended without sarcasms from me about his insensitivity, his computer’s indifference…” He stopped, voice slightly shaking. “And now that I’ve seen what’s in his head… My God, how can I have been so insensitive? So blind?”

Poor Bones. It's ok. Spock knows you adore him. LOL

 

18 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

“What you just told me is perfectly logical indeed, but I am not sure that the survival of a hybrid species is a good thing. I am not sure I wish my possible offspring to go through what I have been through. I am not even sure I wish to perpetuate Vulcan species. Vulcans never accepted me for what and who I am and I…” He stopped, as if he suddenly realised what he had just said. “I am sorry”, he whispered, blushing. “I… I did not mean…”

Sad!

 

18 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

“Yes, sa-kan”, Spock whispered, still stroking the damp black hair, “I have accepted them. It is not the Vulcan way, I know it, but the Vulcan way did not work for me. Maybe it will for you, because we have walked on different paths. Mine has finally led to a side road, less travelled than the main one, but the only one I could walk on. A path that allows me to maintain that all humanoids, humans, Vulcans, and even you, are capable of hate and fury, but also of kindness, affection, love, if you are able to hear this word coming from me.

Awwww

[*Dark_Side*]

God, I love your writing so much. The relationship you have created between TOS Spock and AOS Spock seems so natural. I can't wait to see what you write next.

[Shamaël]

...

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[AngelEyes]

Fantastic ending! 

On 9/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Aliena H. said:

I have started to write my next Star Trek story in French and I will post it here in English (with a fetishy part of course!) but I'm afraid it will not be before October.

*Does little happy dance!* Take your time, I'll wait!

 

On 9/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Aliena H. said:

“I did everything you told me”, she said with all the calm she could master, “I did everything you told me without any question, the mission went as planned, but now I’m here, and I demand explanations!”

Totally Nyota!

 

On 9/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Aliena H. said:

And he left the room, relieved beyond expression not to have to explain by himself to Uhura the mess the last few days had been. He had never been at ease with comforting others. Bones, on the contrary, always knew what to say and was extraordinarily tactful when he had to tell potentially problematic news. That was surprising, considering how tactless he could be in other circumstances, but that was part of Leonard McCoy’s paradox, and in this specific occasion, Jim was grateful for it.

I adore this part! It totally sums them up!

 

On 9/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Aliena H. said:

- Mister Spock, I suspect you’re becoming more and more human all the time.

- Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.**

Great episode. This was totally the best line!!!!

 

On 9/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Aliena H. said:

The Vulcan had difficulties not to see, in the human standing at his bedside, the other Leonard McCoy he had known for more than a hundred years, and who, all things considered, had understood him better than anyone else. Not in an intuitive way, as Uhura did – she always guessed, by human methods completely unknown by Spock, his moods and feelings. Not unconditionally accepted, as Jim had done the first time they had met, without even trying to get the key to the mystery that was his alien mind. But understood, in a conflicting way, thanks to intruding questions and persistent study. McCoy wanted to comprehend reality as Spock perceived it, and Spock had finally accepted to explain it, driven by the physician’s formidable curiosity.

This is such a great analysis of their relationships.

 

On 9/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Aliena H. said:

“Spock, has anyone ever told you you’re scary sometimes?”

“On several occasions, doctor. I decided to take it as a compliment.”

I can totally see Spock with the eyebrow quirked!

 

On 9/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Aliena H. said:

“Great. I suppose we can deduce that your telepathic abilities are back. For the nerve pinch and the mind meld”, he added in his usual mocking voice, “I suggest you test it later, and preferably not with me, right?”

LOL!

 

On 9/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Aliena H. said:

Everything will be fine. Even if, and maybe because, fine has variable definitions.***

 

Awww!

So much love for this whole wonderful story! Thank you!

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

You did it! Brava!

 

Wonderful story. All of it, with and without the sneezing.   Your TOS Spock was prefect and I thank you for that. So much angst, i am more than a little relieved there was a happy ending. Thank you. Your efforts are not unappreciated. I look forward to your next one.  

[ellwren]

I just re-read this whole story. It's still fantastic!

 

[Shamaël]

Thank you @ellwren! I'm glad you liked it!!!

[panic!attheeverywhere]

Whoa. That was so amazing. Holy crap.