First times (Star Trek reboot, Spock) - completed

[Shamaël]

...

 

 

 

 

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[cally]

Oh dear.  It sounds like someone is having a very large pity party.   Hopefully, someone wakes up and takes care of him, as he clearly cannot take care of himself! 

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

I like the idea that Spock's human side keeps slipping the reins and starts to take over a bit with this illness.

I second @cally someone needs to wake up and give him some TLC.  

[AngelEyes]

Poor Spock. I love how his human side is trying to take over and derail the train. And he's all like, No No No, Back in the box!

[spirkestielgirl87]

I'm really enjoying this.  I can't wait for more! 

[Red]

I couldn't reply on every chapter, but I'm still reading and enjoying your story! It's great! 

[Shamaël]

...

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Ohh... Nyota! Welcome to the club!  So pleased to have you. 

10 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

She moved her right hand near her lover’s face. If massaging his temples made him drowsy, maybe she could try something else. She gently stroke her forefinger up the bridge of his nose. Almost immediately, the Vulcan’s breath started to hitch. He gave a start and looked at her in disbelief; she caught a glimpse of betrayal in his eyes, before he quickly turned away from her and sneezed in his left fist.

- HhhIKSCHHH’ih! Hehh’ISSHH!

It was so unvulcan and out of control and fascinating that she froze for some seconds, unable to breath or react, blood turning into fire in her veins. Then she spoke, and she didn’t know how she managed to keep her voice under control and act casual, but miraculously she did.

 

Oh girlfriend... Oh my! 

This is awesome! I can't wait for more.  

As to your grammar/word issues--

You used "advise" when you should have used "advice". 

10 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

She continued to strike gently his head

Should be "stroke" not "strike".

But that's all I noticed.  I was too impressed with Nyota.  

[ichixshiro14]

This just keeps getting better!!! I'm loving it!!

[AngelEyes]

Awww. So cute!

[Shamaël]

...

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[ichixshiro14]

Ooooh, this just keeps getting better and better!!!!

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Excellent interaction between Spock and Uhura. I think you had them perfectly in character. Poor Uhura. She tries, but...

5 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Of course he had understood. He was not stupid. Of course she meant he had to stay away from the bridge and go to sickbay as soon as possible. But if she was quite well trained to his vulcan tricks, she still had a lot to learn. He had promised to go and see McCoy, but he certainly had not specified when.

Spock is a tricky bastard, when he wants to be. 

I'm happy to help anytime with the grammar and vocabulary.  I so understand your meaning when you say things just get away from you. I have had that experience where the characters just start talking in your head and all you are doing is transcribing their conversation. I have to say I love it when that happens. It's so organic. I hope you are planning to sign up for Secret Santa. 

[AngelEyes]

6 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Now his human part tried a different approach: pretend that it agreed with his vulcan half. That was a nice try, but he would not listen to it.

Oh dear, his halves are conspiring against him! He's in trouble now!

[Shamaël]

 

...

 

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[Red]

Still love it!  (Even if I should learn, but... )

[AngelEyes]

Poor McCoy. Always so put upon. Can't people just be sensible?

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

I really, really enjoyed this bit from Bones's perspective.  Just priceless moments I can perfectly imagine...

17 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Really, Bones was proud of them. They had rarely reached this level of stupidity so early. Just because an idiot was not able to keep an eye on a very volatile and flammable and dangerous product. The guy’s only job was to be sure nothing was going to explode –and he had messed it up

#youhadonejob. Never agitate HCl without venting it under the hood. 

17 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

He still didn’t know what the problem was with Spock and even if the illness seemed quite harmless, it upset him.

He hated being faced with his own limits.

Oh so, so true... 

Wonderful characterizations. I continue to enjoy this immensely. 

[cally]

On 04/11/2016 at 9:39 AM, Aliena H. said:

Wow. Thank you so much for asking. Very sincerely, I am quite afraid to do so. I would love to, but I've never done this before and it seems a very difficult exercice to me. I still have some weeks to decide...

I'm sure any number of us would be happy to proofread anything for secret santa for you, provided we're not the recipient of course.

On 04/11/2016 at 9:39 AM, Aliena H. said:

McCoy sighed again (he had stopped counting his sighs by the middle of the morning – he knew he had already reached his quota and the day was not over – far from it, it was only 16:00…)

Story of my life.   Great characterisation here.

 

[Shamaël]

...

 

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[Red]

20 minutes ago, Aliena H. said:

As I'm a teacher, I should tell you "shouldn't you be working instead of reading (and writing) Star Trek stuff?" But no, I won't. I'm glad you take some breaks.

Uh, do I have to be careful with what I write in here? (Okay, nearly all my friends are teachers and I've passed all my exams the last three years despite of being... well me. So, no, I think there's no need to be careful  I like teachers) - Hey, I improve my english skills in my free time by reading your fic!  

Aaaand: I find your fic absolutely adorable! So love your Bones and Spock together! 

[cally]

7 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

are you serious for Secret Santa? I would be more confident if I knew I can work with a beta reader - thank you so, so much!!!

Of course.  I will most likely have some free time after the 6th of December.  (Potentially quite a lot of it in fact.)  And I'm sure if somehow you ended up getting me in the Secret Santa, someone else would step up.

7 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

And phobia or not, he was going to kill Jim.

 I look forward to this! 

[AngelEyes]

Oh, Poor Spock. 

9 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Sarcasm and irritation, he decided.

Definitely the McCoy approach.

 

9 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

- You know what you’re going to do? You’re not going to end this sentence. I’m pretty sure the words “perfectly functional” would appear in it and I’m really, really not in the mood to hear them.

I love how he just totally cuts him off there, like, don't even try this with me!

 

9 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

- In a pig’s eye you can! You can nothing at the moment and you know it as well as I do. If you could do anything, you wouldn’t be here.

This is very Bones, his kind of expression.

 

9 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Really ill, he was indeed, Leonard thought anxiously. The fever was quite alarming, even for Spock’s resilient body, as was his general level of exhaustion and the mad rhythm of his heartbeat.

Not good!

 

9 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

And phobia or not, he was going to kill Jim.

Uh Oh!

[Shamaël]

...

Edited July 31, 2020 by Shamaël

[AngelEyes]

20 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Trying to elicit an improbable emotional response from a healthy Vulcan was one thing, but taking advantage of his illness and fever was not only unprofessional, but also unworthy of their friendship (or whatever their strange and chaotic relationship could be called).

Strange and chaotic indeed.

 

20 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

Close those telepathic canals of yours if you can, you know that what’s inside my very human head isn’t fit for emotionless Vulcans.

For some reason I find this touching.

 

20 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

He also seemed speechless (and for a man who would, in the name of logic, outlive God to have the last word¹, that meant something).

LOL. (And I agree, he does have a fair amount in common with Sherlock. Probably another reason I'm so fond of him.)

 

20 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

I understand your mental shields are not as strong as they used to be because you’re sick, and that’s why you have difficulties with controlling your feelings right now, but don’t make yourself ill with it, okay?

Awwww, poor Spock. So vulnerable.

 

20 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

McCoy frowned, struck by the fact that almost each time he had said the word “sneeze”, the Vulcan’s breath had started hitching. Weird.

LOL

 

20 hours ago, Aliena H. said:

But worried he was, he couldn’t deny it.

Oh dear.

I'm loving this and can't wait to see where it continues to go!