Mad Scientist vs Pollen (Ghostbusters 2016, female)

[Chanel_no5]

***Note***

Alrighty, I was persuaded by my dear AnonyMeows to post this. It’s my part in our fic trade, and, well… yeah. I’ve never written a character like Holtzmann before and it was certainly something different for me. It was fun, but boy, was I struggling to begin with!

***

Erin wasn’t sure how she had gotten herself talked into helping Holtzmann with the latest inventions, especially since both Patty and Abby were “evacuated” from the building “just to be on the safe side”.

Actually, as the two other ladies left, Holtz had shouted at them to see if they could evacuate the neighbours as well, but Abby had calmly replied;

“Can’t do that Holtz, you know we only have authority over our own property.”

“Bummer,” Holtz had muttered and turned her eye on Erin. Erin liked Holtz, but sometimes when Holtz stared at her with those mad scientist eyes, she was terrified of her. “Oh well, I guess that means we can’t try out the Big Bang Shooter today, then.”

“B-b-b-big B-b-b-b…”

Holtz ignored her altogether and slipped back into the lab/garage combo that Patty had named “The Danger Zone”. Eventually Erin gave up trying to get the words out. There wasn’t much point in it since Holtz wasn’t there any longer.

That was another thing that Erin never really understood about Jillian Holtzmann. Was she part ghost herself, since she could disappear and reappear more or less unnoticed? It was yet another unnerving side of the weapon-making madwoman, among many unnerving sides.

And quite a few charming ones, too, Erin’s inner voice, which she wasn’t sure which side it was really on, spoke up. She shook her head. It wasn’t like she was attracted to this crazy, weirdo…

“Hey, where did you go?” she called out into the sudden silence. Holtzmann was much like a mosquito, or a kid; if she was quiet you knew she was up to something no good. “Holtz, not planning on taking out the Big Bang Shooter after all, I hope?” she said with a nervous giggle.

“BahhhtSSHHoo!”

“Jesus, Holtzmann!” Erin cried out as she jumped several feet into the air. “Don’t do that!”

The sneeze, sounding as if it came as much as a surprise to Holtzmann as it did to Erin, bent the scientist over and she sprayed the floor and the leg of her pants. She straightened up, shook her head and nearly shuddered.

“Whoa, that felt good!”

She ran the palm of her hand underside of her nose, upwards towards the tip. Erin had seen this particular way of rubbing one’s nose before, in fact, it even had a name. Allergic Salute.

“Are you okay?” she asked, looking a bit closer at the other woman, checking for more signs to confirm her newly raised suspicions.

“I’d be better if you stopped standing there and checking me out, and came over here and got down and dirty with me.”

Erin did a double take, only to see Holtzmann snickering.

“I’m taking about the machines, not whatever is in your dirty imagination,” she chuckled, but mid-chuckle her breathing became erratic and turned into an airy, tickly-sounding build-up to  another sneeze.

“Hehh… heihhh.. Huhhh… uh… ahhh…haatSHHhuhh!”

She merely turned and sneezed over her shoulder, not holding back, but not turning it into a spectacle or a show either, the way she usually did. That told Erin that her friend really was suffering from this persistent need to sneeze, but wasn’t going to admit it.

“Um, do you have allergies?” she asked.

“Nope,” the other woman replied with a wet sniffle and hunkered down to look for something that was obviously hidden well. “Hmm… oh, look, there’s that nuclear powering device I thought I had dropped somewhere. Great. Um, maybe I should isolate the radiation right awahhhhyyIISSHHHoo!”

“Did you just sneeze on a nuclear powering device?!” Erin screamed out loud.

“Calm down, I didn’t sneeze on it. Come over here, Erin, I need your paws.”

Erin wasn’t sure she wanted to squeeze in there among unstable metallic constructions, radioactive toys and half-weaponised household items, but Holtz held an almost hypnotic power over her, and she didn’t even consider refusing.

“Okay,” Holtz said when Erin got closer. “I need you to hold my nose.”

“What?”

“I feel another sneeze coming, and if I sneeze while I’m holding this particular piece of equipment  the entire building will collapse into a black hole. It’s very s-sehhh… senshhh…”

“Sensitive, I get it,” Erin filled in and pinched Holtzmann’s nose between her thumb and forefinger. She felt the other woman’s feverishly hot nostrils tremble against her fingertips as the sneeze tried in vain to build in spite of Erin’s interference, and felt a bit aroused in spite of the circumstances. She had never been this close to Holtzmann before and it was rather… intimate.

Holtzmann’s entire body tensed up as her red-rimmed eyelids fluttered shut. Erin felt the building sneeze tug at the nostrils she pinched.

“No, no no, no Holtzman, don’t you dare sneezing…!”

The blonde’s head snapped forward with two fiercely held in stifles - normally she never stifled and it felt like her head would explode from the effort, but she succeeded nevertheless.

“MppTTHH! MmpTTHH-ooh!”

She shuddered as the urge seemed to withdraw to the depths of her nose and fall dormant there, and said;

“You cad let go dow.”

Erin wasn’t sure she’d dare; the other woman definitely didn’t look like she had sneezed for the last time today, but she could hardly insist on keeping a hold of her friend’s nose for the rest of the day either, so she reluctantly let go.

“Thanks,” Holtz said, sounding uncharacteristically embarrassed. Up until now Erin would have sworn there was nothing that could put her off her game, but apparently this was a bit too personal. It was kind of… sweet.

“I’m just gonna put this in the containment chamber and we’ll be fine,” she muttered and turned away from Erin, as if she hadn’t been the one calling for her assistance.

Erin took a few steps away, partly to put a bit of distance between herself and the nuclear piece that Holtz cradled as if it was a baby, and partly to give the other woman some privacy. She was pretty sure Holtzmann’s sudden bout of ticklish sneezes was caused by allergies. It was one of the first truly warm days of the summer, and Patty had opened every window in the building to let in some fresh air. While the air was fresh - there wasn’t much traffic in this area, and there was a big park not far away - it was also teeming with a huge amount of pollen, and… Erin sniffed the air to be sure… yes, the sweet, strong and somehow green scent of grass. The scent alone could be enough to set some people off, and even if it wasn’t the culprit in this case, it probably wasn’t helping matters either.

If it was allergies, Holtz was obviously not used to them, otherwise she simply would have admitted to them and waved it off. She wouldn’t lie about it, that wasn’t her style at all.

Holtzmann turned back to her, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

“There.” She sniffled wetly. “Alright, let’s test-fire some of my latest darlings.” She made a sweeping gesture towards the work bench. “Which one do you like?”

Erin honestly didn’t know what was weaponry and what was just discarded scraps and trash, so she merely gave Holtz a nervous smile and said;

“Why don’t you pick one out for me?”

Holtzmann’s face lit up with excitement and Erin feared that would be her last words.

“Ah, let’s see, you’re right-handed which probably doesn’t make this your friend,” Holtz said and shoved something that looked like an old-fashioned telephone to the side. “It has a bit of a tilt that would kind of burn the inside of your arm pretty badly if eeuuuSSHHUh! If you held it with your right hand,” she finished, only momentarily turning away from Erin to avoid sneezing on her. She sniffled again, more forcefully this time, and rubbed the heel of her hand against the underside of her reddening nose.

“Dude, my nose is so itchy… hahhh… aaaTTSSHHHoo! Argh!”

“M-maybe you should take an antihistamine,” Erin tried, but Holtz didn’t listen to her, she was eagerly picking up and putting things back down, all the while sniffling with each breath. It was obvious her nose was bothering her a lot, but she wasn’t going to let that get in the way of the fun she had playing with these things.

“Ah, this one!” Holtzmann eventually said and took out something that looked like a kid’s toy space rifle. “It fires an electronic net that pulls the ghost in by latching onto the static electricity the entity itself radiates. Kind of like a spider’s web, only with more sparks and crackles.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“Only if you’re a ghost. Or, I guess, if you stand in the way of the electric burst, it’s pretty high voltage,” Holtz added and giggled excitedly as she rubbed her nose against her wrist. Her nostrils were almost crimson at this point, glaringly inflamed, and there was a steady trickle of watery liquid trying to escape them.

“Here, take it and adjust the aim,” she said, as if Erin knew how to do that. “Hold on, I’m just gonna sneeze some more,” she continued matter-of-factly and grabbed a greasy rag from the work bench, holding it up a few inches from her face in a gesture of covering that was more symbolic than efficient. Her face scrunched up in a desperate pre-sneeze look as her breathing hitched several times, and eventually she released an unapologetic, irritated triple.

“HattSSHHH! AEISSHHHoo! HatSSHHHioo!”

 Some of the spray landed in the rag, but most of it rained down on the floor, her own arm, and Erin’s neck.

“Bless…”

Holtzmann held up a hand.

“Wait for it,” she said, her eyes once more taking on that glazed, vacant look that meant a sneeze was imminent.

“Oh… this is gonna be a good one,” she sniffed and wiggled her nose a little as if urging the sneeze on. Instead of blasting forward at the encouragement, the sneeze seemed to get shy and withdraw, but not enough to make the urge go away completely. No, it was still there, right within the edge of her tormented nostrils, tickling and teasing but refusing to come forward and put an end to her torture.

“Ugh,” she groaned and looked up at the strong lights in the ceiling. A stuck sneeze would always come out if she stared at the light long enough, and it already seemed to work its magic. Her eyebrows knitted together as her eyes closed - a tear trickled down her cheek and left a track in the smudge of grease and dirt she hadn’t yet wiped off (in fact, she hadn’t even known it was there) - and her nose twitched as the light increased the tickle tenfold.

“AaaHHHTTSSHHHH!”

She bent over and sneezed between her knees. Erin was afraid she’d lose her balance, so she reached out and grabbed Holtzmann’s arm. Holtz remained doubled over for a moment, shuddering.

“Holy hell, that was definitely orgasmic,” she said hoarsely and straightened. Her face was flushed, her nose an angry, itchy-looking red, her eyes swollen and watery. It was the most allergic Erin had ever seen anyone look, and if Holtz didn’t realise this was allergies, then it was up to Erin to help relieving her misery.

She put the electric gun down and felt a pang of relief at being rid of that at least, and then searched through her pockets for some clean tissues that she held out to Holtzmann.

“Here you go. Your nose is streaming. I know you said you’re not allergic, but what else could make you sneeze so much?”

Not answering the question, Holtz accepted the tissues and buried her nose in the whole bunch, blowing so hard Erin winced. Mid-blow, she sneezed again. And again. This time the sound was muffled by the Kleenex, but the power behind it was still raw and violent. Holtzmann’s poor nose had finally had it with the overwhelming allergens and was determined to rid itself of every last grain of pollen.

Erin got over her nervousness when she saw how vulnerable the normally so tough scientist and weapon-maker was, and she put her arm around Holtzmann’s shoulders. For a moment, she thought the other woman would withdraw, but instead she relaxed. Her body convulsed with one heavy sneeze after another, rocking Erin’s body with it in the process.

“Enough fucking around,” Erin said, barely believing she was the one uttering such words. Holtzmann and the others sure had had a bad influence on her. A bad, but wonderful influence. “You’re definitely allergic, you’re not in shape to tote around with guns and nuclear whatnots, and you’re going to take an antihistamine and stay still until it starts to work. Got it?”

“Since when did you get so c-cohhh… cockKKSHHyyh! Cocky?” Holtz snorted.

“Since I joined this madhouse,” Erin replied. “Come on. Let’s go.”

 

 

[Sneezingnonstop]

Haven't seen the actual movie for this yet, but this is adorable!!!! Fantastic job!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Ohhh... that is rather delicious.  

Very glad you were convinced to post it, thank you AnonyMeows! 

What popped up in my brain is a Fry and Laurie quote. "Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter..." 

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

God I was curious after Anony posted in Happiness Department as to what she'd read and I see why she raved about it.  UNF Holtzy listen to Erin.

[queenie]

Great! Erin/Holtzmann is very important to me. 

[DarkGlasses]

Oh my God I've been waiting for this one!

This is brilliant. Best fic I've read in ages. Holy shit.

[SexyGodlikeHair]

Perfect mix between hottttt and A D O R A B L E

Ill be praying for you to post more Hotlzbert until the day I die tbh

[jamesdear1]

really really attractive thanks for writing this pls follow up with more! Maybe erin needs to induce holt to figure out what the allergy is

 

[Anonymouse]

1 hour ago, jamesdear1 said:

really really attractive thanks for writing this pls follow up with more! Maybe erin needs to induce holt to figure out what the allergy is

 

I don't expect her to write more, especially since I still owe her a fic in return. Which I'm hoping to have done soon. Sorry it's taking so long. <3

Anyway, I'm still speechless, days later. Adorable is not necessarily the word I'd use for this...  But I do agree you did a fantastic job. It was even better than I expected and I've read your stuff before so I was already expecting some quality writing! You are the queen of allergy fic. You also did an amazing job keeping everyone in character. I agree Holtz is a tough little nugget to write but you did so, so well.

I loved so many things and I was live spamming @Winged the entire time I was reading so I'll give you the slightly more condensed version.

I love that she evacuated the others from the building... but not Erin. I love that it seems to be forum canon that her lab was deemed the "Danger Zone" by Patty. I also love her randomly disappearing (like a ghost, I've thought the same thing before) and how she scares the shit out of Erin, because Erin seems jumpy and kind of timid and Holtz is just barreling through life blowing shit up without a care.

Quote

“I’m taking about the machines, not whatever is in your dirty imagination,” she chuckled, but mid-chuckle her breathing became erratic and turned into an airy, tickly-sounding build-up to  another sneeze.

? These are a few of my favorite things ?

Quote

“Calm down, I didn’t sneeze on it. Come over here, Erin, I need your paws.”

Reminiscent of Abby saying "I need your snoot on this" to Holtzmann. 

Quote

“I feel another sneeze coming, and if I sneeze while I’m holding this particular piece of equipment  the entire building will collapse into a black hole. It’s very s-sehhh… senshhh…”

 Could you have picked a better word for her to lose it on? I don't think the equipment is the only thing that's sensitive.  I'm usually very picky about nose-holding/sneeze-stopping scenarios but that one was natural and sexy as hell (like the rest of the fic). And how Erin could tell she wasn't done yet.

Quote

“Thanks,” Holtz said, sounding uncharacteristically embarrassed. Up until now Erin would have sworn there was nothing that could put her off her game, but apparently this was a bit too personal. It was kind of… sweet.

*swoon*

Quote

It was obvious her nose was bothering her a lot, but she wasn’t going to let that get in the way of the fun she had playing with these things.

She's so cute around her toys and so adorably oblivious to her on condition. I loved how she went mama bear when Abby began destroying her equipment in the movie.

Aaaaand pretty much everything from "Hold on, I'm just gonna sneeze some more" onward is pure perfection and it would he ridiculous of me to quote the whole thing. The commentary and the continuing fit while Erin holds her is too much for me to handle.

You did a SUPERB job and I only hope what I give you makes you as happy as this made me.

[Chanel_no5]

Thank you so much everyone, I'm really glad you like it!

I don't plan on writing this fandom regularly, as it's not one that I'm personally into, but I do write it for trades, uh, obviously.

 

12 hours ago, AnonyMeows said:

You did a SUPERB job and I only hope what I give you makes you as happy as this made me.

Awww, thank you so much, I'm so relieved you like it! I was a bit worried for a while, having tried out several things and they ended up getting terribly out of character, so I'm really happy the end result worked and brought you, well... enjoyment.

And I'm sure yours will be delicious.