Happy (Early!) Birthday, Sophie<3! - The Likeness by Tana French

[MaiMai]

@Sophie<3!!

Happy Birthday!

I hope you don't mind that I'm giving you these a couple of days early, but I'm going on holiday today, and I'm not 100 per cent sure about the wifi situation. And I really, really wanted to make sure that you got them in time!

I really wanted to write you something, because...well, you know I love you, but I feel like I need to say that again! I appreciate you so, so much as a person and as a friend. You're such an amazing, intelligent, kind, lovely person, Sophie. I adore our essay-length PMs, all our weird coincidences, and swapping our writing. Your comments and thoughts always make my week.  You've supported me through so much, and I don't think I can ever thank you enough for being there for me. And, of course, you introduced me to this brilliant fandom, and I'm so, so grateful! I feel as though there's a lot more I could say, but I don't quite know how to express it. Just know that I love you, okay?

We've spoken before about how stories are one of the best gifts to receive, and I definitely wanted to write you something. "Something" became "two somethings", because I ended up writing you two and couldn't decide which to give you...so here, have both!

To anyone else that might be reading, without knowing the fandom: The Likeness is a crime novel by Tana French, in which a detective, Cassie, gets involved with a case where a dead girl was found who looks exactly like her, and had one of her old IDs back from when she worked as an undercover detective. Long story short, she goes undercover as this girl, living with her housemates/friends Daniel, Abby, Rafe and Justin, to find out how she was killed. The first story is from Cassie's point of view, whilst the second is set after the novel, but a recollection of events before it.

Hope you enjoy, Sophie, and that you have a wonderful birthday!

 

Triumphant

The others doted on Whitethorn House, and by the end of my time there, so did I.

The place was intoxicating, a warmth you couldn’t help returning to time and again. It was all too easy to think of the house as its own crumbling, beautiful entity: we were there for the house – we painted and re-painted, repaired and re-repaired – and, in turn, it was there for us. It provided a silent security, a home, something that most of our number could ordinarily only have dreamt of.

Each member of the group had their own part of its upkeep that they laboured over more than the rest.

I learnt early on that Lexie’s was the rooms of obsolete junk, stuff Uncle Matthew had never seen fit to throw away. I assumed she saw the mystery in it, the potential glorious treasures that might turn up.

Justin’s was the bookshelves. They were numerous, and scattered all over the house. Every landing and every room had one, stuffed full of disintegrating paperbacks and old, handwritten journals. He would remove them one by one, painstakingly clean and polish the old wood until it shone, and rearrange. Those novels he deemed worthy – few and far between; from what I could gather, Uncle Matthew had possessed a truly terrible taste in books – would be returned, and the new space would be filled by their own books.

Whose books were whose, I never quite figured out, along with the clothes. Everything simply belonged to everyone.

Rafe’s was the wallpaper. By the time I came to live there, he had removed around half of it. It was awful, garish and clashed horrendously with just about every piece of furniture in the house. No one was sure exactly why it was he hated it so, but he seemed to have cultivated a personal vendetta against it. I once came down the stairs early in the morning, to get a glass of water, and found Rafe hacking away at another sheaf of the hideous paper.

For Abby and Daniel, it was the herb garden. They adored it. During my first week, they had spoken animatedly to me about how beautiful it would be, a full Victorian herb garden, once it was fully grown.

Our discovery of the photo of it in all its authentic glory, taken years before, had spurred them on more than ever. They hovered adoringly over the small patch of ground, planting seeds and watering almost obsessively.

It had gotten to the point where they would leave the rest of us to finish breakfast in favour of checking on the garden. To me, Justin and Rafe, unable to quite comprehend their fascination, it was something of a source of amusement.

We watched them from the breakfast table: we were just able to catch sight of them through the wide kitchen windows, on their knees on the dew damp grass.

“Next thing you know, they’ll be living out there in a tent. I wouldn’t put it past them,” Justin observed cheerfully, and reached for another piece of toast.

That was another thing I had picked up early on in my time there: how tolerant everyone was of one another’s quirks. We might tease, and we might poke fun, but had either Abby or Daniel expressed a genuine wish to relocate to the back garden, no eyebrows would have been raised.

“You’d thidk those herbs were their ownd childrend,” Rafe scoffed, following it with a few coughs. He was still getting over a cold, which he maintained was why he had relocated from his usual position, balanced precariously on one side of my chair, shoulder to shoulder.

I suspected it had more to do with the fact that, when he had sat down next to me, I had teased him about how hot he was. It hadn’t been entirely unfounded in sympathy: his skin was warm, too warm, the sort of warmth you would feel were you curled up in a bundle of blankets before a fireplace.

He had blamed it on having just got out of bed; I blamed it on the fever I was positive he hadn’t quite shaken, and pointed out that my using the descriptor of ‘hot’ did not mean I was hitting on him.

He had given me an injured look, at that, and moved across to the next seat.

“We should watch out for them sprouting leaves or something. We’ll wake up one morning, and we’ll be living with tree nymphs,” I said with a laugh as I patted Rafe on the back. He smirked at my comment but ignored the gesture. “Maybe it would do you good, Rafe, actually. More plants means more oxygen, you might actually be able to breathe! I bet tree nymphs are a great source of CO2.”

“Lexie, what have I told you about just being friends with people for their oxygen?”

I pouted, playing along, “That it’s extortionate and we should just get our own oxygen?”

“Exactly,” Justin laughed, then smiled, looking out through the window, “They look awfully excited about something.”

“I’mb sure we’re about to find out. They’re goidg to take the door off its hinges, at the speed they’re going,” Rafe pointed out with a sniffle.

“Maybe they’ve found a fossilised dinosaur,” I guessed. Justin joined in.

“An underground hot spring?”

“Or a treasure chest full of jewels?”

“Maybe it’s a secret tunnel.”

“Some sort of alien space ship?”

“I bet you I cand tell you exactly what they’re excited about,” Rafe interjected, “The herb gardend. I bet you they’ve grownd somethidg, fidally.”

I laughed, “No way! It’s got to be something more exciting than that, right?”

Justin had no time to reply: Abby and Daniel burst through the back doors.

It was the first time I had seen Daniel so genuinely thrilled about something. Usually, when emotions were running high, he would remain on the outskirts, either simply watching, or smiling mildly at the enthusiasm of the others.

Now, his hair was messy and brushed back from his forehead; glasses askew; a smudge of earth striped his left cheek. He and Abby both were grinning widely and triumphantly, each clutching a small handful of something green and leafy.

Justin gave me a smug look: I told you so. It seemed as if he had been right.

“Look, look, look! Look, Lexie!”

Abby shoved the leaves at me with a grin, clearly expecting me to make something of them.

“What is this? Did the herb garden finally yield something?! Oh, we must celebrate! Someone open a bottle of champagne!” I teased.

Abby laughed and poked me in the side, “Shush, Lex, you know how long we’ve been tending to that garden!”

“I would agree with the suggestion of champagne, if it wasn’t ten am,” Daniel said amiably, amused by my overzealous reaction.

“So, what is it then?” Justin asked.

“Yes, we’re all dyidg to dknow,” Rafe added sarcastically, but he couldn’t help a smile. Their happiness was infectious.

“Don’t you recognise it? It’s horehound!” Abby proclaimed excitedly.

“Excuse bme? It’s-hhh-heh’IHSHh!-it’s what dnow?”

We each murmured a bless you, at which Rafe looked faintly embarrassed. He shrank back into his chair a little and rubbed at his nose boyishly, quirking an eyebrow at Abby.

“Horehound. The Victorians used it traditionally for making syrups or sweets, usually for coughs.” As he spoke, his eyes came to rest on Rafe, a thoughtful expression forming, “And it seems that we have a willing test subject right here.”

“Oh! Rafe, of course! Won’t you try some? It’ll make you feel miles better.”

Rafe eyed the leaves dubiously, “Abby, I’mb sorry to rebmind you of this, but I’mb dnot a goat, you dknow. You cand’t just feed bme leaves and expect bme to eat themb.”

“We would make a syrup out of them, silly! Please, Rafe? Try it for us?”

“Rafe the goat,” Justin said, and the two of us burst into howls of laughter. It was a stupid comment, but for some reason, in the cosiness and companionship of the warm kitchen, the image of goat-Rafe chewing solemnly was the funniest thing imaginable. He had certainly been grouchy enough over the past few days.

“Shut up, you two,” Rafe scowled, before his expression dissolved and became more vacant than it was vexed. “hh’ehsh’ihh!-iihshh!-fugck,” he grumbled into an elbow. The curse was spoken in a slightly higher pitch: his eyelids were fluttering shut again, barely giving him time to take a reflexive breath in between. Neither Justin nor I could contain our giggles. “hhe’iiSHH!”

“Sorry, Rafe, bless you,” Justin sobered up enough to choke out. I wasn’t sure what we were even laughing at any more, and I suspected that Justin wasn’t, either.

He had always seemed to me to be the most serious of the group, next to Daniel, and certainly the most nervous. The few weeks I spent in Whitethorn House shown me otherwise: it was easy to lapse into unexplainable and uncontrollable laughter when you were around Justin.

“Adyway,” Rafe said pointedly. He was trying to sound dignified, but his stuffiness combined with the general sandpaper-roughness of his voice detracted from the overall effect. “Are you sure that stuff is eved safe for humand codsumbp-Abby, I cand do that bmyself, you dknow.”

He intercepted Abby as she went to wipe his nose for him, taking the tissues from her pointedly. She laughed apologetically and nodded.

“Sorry, Rafe, sorry.”

He huffed, and started coughing. At that, I smiled sympathetically.

“It sounds like you could use some of that stuff after all,” I said, gesturing to pile of leaves on the table. Abby had left them there, so that she could rub the dirt from Daniel’s cheek. The two of them were laughing, and I was sure Abby was blushing.

Justin laughed, “Do you want me to feed it to you?”

I grinned and mooed at Rafe, who looked as if he was fighting off giggles in favour of looking pissed off.

“Goats dond’t moo, Lex.”

“What do they do, then?”

“C’mere, Rafe, we’ll feed it to you!”

“Dno way! Who dknows what that stuff is? It could be sombe sort of hallucinogenic! I’mb dnot touchidg the stuff!”

“Come on, Rafe, live a little!”

I remember thinking, as we chased Rafe through the hallway with handfuls of herbs, that I couldn’t wait to see what the strange, ancient herb garden might yield next. Who knows what we could have, by the next spring?

It wasn’t the first time I had forgotten that my time there was decidedly limited. Lexie had had forever, and lost it.

I tried to inherit her forever, when I never had the right.

 

Dreaming

She was back in Whitethorn House. It happened so often these days, that when Abby opened her eyes, she knew. She knew she was dreaming.

She didn’t care. This was the only way in which she could ever visit it again: memories weren’t the same. Memories were illustrations in a picture book, their colours faded and washing away with each recollection.

Dreams were entirely different. Dreams took a little bit of nostalgia, a hint of sentimentality and a thousand moments of heartbreak, and recreated a whole time from the ground up.

Her pillows were soft against her cheek, the weight of her blankets warm and familiar. The bedframe was thin and rickety, but that had never bothered Abby. The bed was hers, her safe place, and cosy enough to make up for any shortcomings in its design.

There was a soft knock at her door, hesitant. They must have thought she was asleep.

“Come ind.”

As soon as she spoke, she was able to place the memory.

It was a grey afternoon that seemed to last for an eternity. Beneath the snow outside, Glenskehy lay dormant and hibernating. Whitethorn House was the only indication of life for miles around: candle light burned steadily, giving the windows a homely glow.

Abby remembered hoping that to look up at the solitary house, its golden windows so alive with warmth, might make someone outside in the cold feel the same safety and comfort she felt, tucked up beneath the patchwork blanket she had sewn together with Lexie.

She pulled the edge up to her cheek, and rolled over as the door opened softly.

Daniel. He treaded quietly, his footsteps muffled by the thick rug that lay across the bare wood floor and kept out the drafts that whistled between the thin planks. That, too, had a story, a memory attached to it.

They had discovered it a few months ago, in a vintage store. Rafe had been incensed by the price, and taken it upon himself to haggle the shopkeeper down as far as possible. Abby had gotten it for practically nothing, and Rafe had reminded them consistently of his victory for over a week.

“How are you feeling?” Daniel asked, his voice hushed.

With that, Abby remembered, more vividly than ever. All the details of that quiet afternoon converged upon her at once, envisaged vividly within her dreams.

Her throat was prickling and sore to swallow; her head ached gently; she was only able to breathe through parted lips. Her whole body felt tired, almost dormant, a little too warm, and the ghost of a shiver trailed down her arms and encircled her wrists, pricking goose bumps on her skin.

She had been sick, that afternoon. That was why the warmth and safety of her simple bed felt more blissful than ever. She remembered, now.

“I’ll live,” she smiled, a brief, flickering expression, filled with reassurance and a silent pleading of don’t worry about me, please. Flickering, because it faltered and fell so hastily, yet was so bright whilst it lasted. “hii’tsshh!-sorry.”

Daniel had crossed the room whilst she was distracted, and was now knelt by her bed. A small, sad smile graced his lips as he brushed her hair from her forehead.

“Bless you. Please don’t apologise.”

Gently, he ducked his head to press his lips to her forehead. It was the most fleeting of touches, but it made Abby’s heart ache oddly in her chest. Whilst she wanted, desperately, to believe that it was gesture for her and her alone, she couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t have done the same for one of the others.

“Féferig,” he said as he drew away.

Fey-feh-rihg. The archaic word was unfairly beautiful, in his voice.

“Feverish,” Abby translated with a small smile.

It was an ancient, Old English word they had come across recently. The five of them had a tendency to exchange the odd word of Old English, or Latin, or Ancient Greek, in ordinary conversation.

Rafe had once pointed out that this possibly contributed to the rest of the English department perceiving them as stuck up. Lexie had countered that if they weren’t intelligent enough to be able to pick up a singular word of an old language, what did they want to do with them, anyway?

“I thought you said you were okay.”

“I said I would live, dnot that I was the picture of health,” Abby pointed out, and coughed into a fist. To her, the sound was far too loud in the peaceful room, the otherwise almost silence broken only by the crackling of flames in her small fireplace. “You’re overadnalysing.”

“Okay, you’ve got me there. Overanalysing; I’m sorry,” Daniel conceded as he reached for a tray Abby hadn’t seen before. “Lexie insisted that I bring you something hot to drink.”

“What did she-ohsorryhii’tsch!-she bmake?”

“Bless you. Make might be a stretch; warmed it over a stove might be more accurate.” It sounded like something Justin or Rafe might say, and Abby suspected that Daniel was echoing them. “Hot cider with cinnamon. She thought it would do you good.”

Abby raised her eyebrows amusedly, “What, getting drunk?”

She still sat herself up, shivering as the blankets fell away from her shoulders, replaced by the too thin curtain of her hair. She was sure she had plaited it on going to bed: it had already come loose.

“I doubt there’s much alcohol left. I think she boiled most of it off,” Daniel replied, a smile in his voice and in his eyes as he met hers. Abby fancied that she could see herself in the reflection on his glasses, but she couldn’t quite imagine it.

“Thandk you.” She took a sip, the mug a familiar and comforting shape in her hands. Lexie had chosen her favourite one: white china with a faded pattern of bluebells.

She set it down after a moment to cough again, sniffling and teary-eyed once it had abated. Daniel didn’t cease the soothing circles he was rubbing into her back, even when the coughing itself did.

“Is there too much cinnamon? Would you like another pillow? Would-”

“Dandiel,” she placed a hand on his chest gently, “Shh. I’mb okay,” Abby testified, barely a second before she whipped her head to one side to sneeze into a cupped hand. “hh’itschh!-well, I’mb okay for the bmost part.”

“Then for the most part, I’m glad.”

Her other hand was still on his chest, maintaining a point of contact, a source of comfort.

There was scarcely any distance to close for Daniel to reach her lips. Abby smiled into the kiss, melted into it, and wondered.

Would he kiss any of the others like this?

When they broke apart, she coughed and hit him gently on the arm.

“You’ll get sick, silly.”

“I’ll live,” he echoed, lacing his fingers with hers, “Lie down. Get some sleep.”

“Will you-”

“I’ll be here,” Daniel assured her.

Daniel was always there, when you needed him. The guardian angel of the group.

Abby smiled, nodded, and slipped back down beneath the blankets. She kept a hold of his hand as she drifted into sleep. He didn’t let go, either.

No, I don’t think he would.

Abby opened her eyes.

Plain white sheets; plain white walls; plain white ceiling.

She closed them again, fighting the sting of tears.

Waking up was always the hardest part. Waking up meant remembering, not just the good and the beautiful times, but also the painful and the lost.

Whitethorn House was in ashes, Daniel was gone.

[Sophie<3]

Oh. MY GOD. You did not! OH MY GOD!!!

See, you said there was going to be a surprise, and I was kind of hoping it might be birthday-related, but of course I wasn't sure at all, it could've been something entirely different, and I definitely wasn't expecting it before my birthday and now I look at the forum and find this?! I'm not sure I'll find the words to express how endlessly thrilled and excited and flattered and happy all of this has made me feel! But if you can imagine me sitting in front of my laptop, clasping my hands over my face and screaming, that should give you some idea!  I swear, I was biting my knuckles and tearing up, because I can't believe you did this for me, and it's TWO stories too instead of just one and I don't even know how I deserve any of this! All I know is that I love you soo, sooo much!  

And you know what? I don't mind getting this early at all! In fact, I'm starting to think early birthday gifts are the best ones, because you receive them completely unexpected and that makes things even more exciting!  Also, you could've probably sent this to me a few months late and I would've still been happy, because I love these stories soo much!!

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

I really wanted to write you something, because...well, you know I love you, but I feel like I need to say that again! I appreciate you so, so much as a person and as a friend. You're such an amazing, intelligent, kind, lovely person, Sophie. I adore our essay-length PMs, all our weird coincidences, and swapping our writing. Your comments and thoughts always make my week.  You've supported me through so much, and I don't think I can ever thank you enough for being there for me.

Ohhh my gosh, hon!  You are so sweet and lovely, I can't believe it! All of this goes for you, too, you know? At this point, I'm not even sure what I would do without you! Our super-long PMs and story swaps give me life! And you've also helped me through so much and continue to help me simply by existing, because you're really, really amazing, too! Aww, I just wish I could hug you right now, because I honestly love you so much and you're such a fantastic friend!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

We've spoken before about how stories are one of the best gifts to receive, and I definitely wanted to write you something. "Something" became "two somethings", because I ended up writing you two and couldn't decide which to give you...so here, have both!

Awww...!  That is soo so sweet!  And I will forever maintain that gifted stories are the greatest thing a human can present another human with, so this is actually the best gift I'm going to receive this year for sure!  Simply because so much effort went into it, and this is something nobody else could've given me, and that I couldn't even have gotten for myself, you know? It's just... fanfic for my favorite novel from one of my favorite writers, how do I deserve this?!  I'm just so happy right now, omg!  

Okay, so, I've already read them once, because I just had to! And oh my god, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!! Which is why I'm super excited to go through them slowly now and point out all the small lovely bits that I loved especially even though I loved all of it!!

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

The others doted on Whitethorn House, and by the end of my time there, so did I.

First sentence, and I'm already crying. The way Cassie just become so involved with the others, to the point of loving the house as much as they did...  And of course, Tana couldn't even let us keep the house...!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

It was all too easy to think of the house as its own crumbling, beautiful entity: we were there for the house – we painted and re-painted, repaired and re-repaired – and, in turn, it was there for us. It provided a silent security, a home, something that most of our number could ordinarily only have dreamt of.

This is so lovely, though! Tana is the reason I now care very strongly about houses, especially those of the fictional variety!  And I just love that you made this whole thing hinge on the house to some extent, you know? And it's true that it's become such an entity of its own. I love how you included that!

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

Each member of the group had their own part of its upkeep that they laboured over more than the rest.

Okay, but this is actually a really cool idea?! Like, yes, they work on a lot of the stuff together, but I can totally see them each having their specialty! Generally, I really love how they sort of divide up tasks without really speaking about it, while still feeling responsible for everything as a unit, you know?

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

Uncle Matthew

Psst! Did you mean Uncle Simon?  

 

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

Whose books were whose, I never quite figured out, along with the clothes. Everything simply belonged to everyone.

This is the beautiful yet heart-breaking thing at the core of their friendship!  The way the borders between them blur, they way they all become one... I love it so much, but it's essentially what killed them in the end...

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

Rafe’s was the wallpaper. By the time I came to live there, he had removed around half of it. It was awful, garish and clashed horrendously with just about every piece of furniture in the house. No one was sure exactly why it was he hated it so, but he seemed to have cultivated a personal vendetta against it. I once came down the stairs early in the morning, to get a glass of water, and found Rafe hacking away at another sheaf of the hideous paper.

First of all, I like how you've divided up their specialties, with Lexie taking such an interest in all of the old junk and Justin lovingly tending to the books. But this part is my favorite!  I don't even know why it made me laugh so much, but it did! The idea of Rafe having a personal vendetta against the hideous wallpaper, omg!  And hacking away at it early in the morning, too! I mean, we know how much of a morning person he is, after all!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

For Abby and Daniel, it was the herb garden. They adored it. During my first week, they had spoken animatedly to me about how beautiful it would be, a full Victorian herb garden, once it was fully grown.

Our discovery of the photo of it in all its authentic glory, taken years before, had spurred them on more than ever. They hovered adoringly over the small patch of ground, planting seeds and watering almost obsessively.

Somehow, this reminds me equally of loving parents and playful children, which, I don't even know how that's possible, but it's such a beautiful balance! Also, I love the herb garden and I had Daniel mention it once in that drabble with Lexie, didn't I? I think it's so cool how these things kind of pass back and forth between us, until I can't even differentiate whose headcanon is whose anymore!  But yes, I love that you included the herb garden! And how you've portrayed Abby and Daniel's passion for it! Thanks!

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Next thing you know, they’ll be living out there in a tent. I wouldn’t put it past them,” Justin observed cheerfully, and reached for another piece of toast.

This is such a great Justin line and made me laugh so much!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

That was another thing I had picked up early on in my time there: how tolerant everyone was of one another’s quirks. We might tease, and we might poke fun, but had either Abby or Daniel expressed a genuine wish to relocate to the back garden, no eyebrows would have been raised.

THIS IS SO TRUE! You are so good at observing these small things about these characters and then actually putting them into words! So good! (And the thought of either Abby or Daniel "relocating to the back garden" and the others just accepting it completely unfazed made me laugh out loud once again! )

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“You’d thidk those herbs were their ownd childrend,” Rafe scoffed, following it with a few coughs. He was still getting over a cold

Awww...!! You made Rafe the sickie for me! I love you, I love you so much!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

I suspected it had more to do with the fact that, when he had sat down next to me, I had teased him about how hot he was. It hadn’t been entirely unfounded in sympathy: his skin was warm, too warm, the sort of warmth you would feel were you curled up in a bundle of blankets before a fireplace.

He had blamed it on having just got out of bed; I blamed it on the fever I was positive he hadn’t quite shaken, and pointed out that my using the descriptor of ‘hot’ did not mean I was hitting on him.

OKAY. First of all, the fact that you gave him a fever. Just... awww!  I'm so predictable in how fevers get to me every single time!  Then, how you had Lexie notice it and point it out in a playfully teasing way! Aww! Just the fact that she could even feel it because they were sitting so closely is so hot (and I mean hot! In that sense!  ) and then she started making comments about it until he moved to a different chair in a sulk, aww!  You know me entirely too well, girl! I love this so much!

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Maybe they’ve found a fossilised dinosaur,” I guessed. Justin joined in.

“An underground hot spring?”

“Or a treasure chest full of jewels?”

“Maybe it’s a secret tunnel.”

“Some sort of alien space ship?”

“I bet you I cand tell you exactly what they’re excited about,” Rafe interjected, “The herb gardend. I bet you they’ve grownd somethidg, fidally.”

I really like this passage with all of their crazy suggestions! They're all so funny and exciting and innocent, in a way! Like, this passage reminds me of their Famous Five jokes on that video tape, you know? I love how they just bounce of off each other, and how they're so spontaneous in coming up with these! And how Rafe just ends it like that!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

It was the first time I had seen Daniel so genuinely thrilled about something. Usually, when emotions were running high, he would remain on the outskirts, either simply watching, or smiling mildly at the enthusiasm of the others.

Now, his hair was messy and brushed back from his forehead; glasses askew; a smudge of earth striped his left cheek. He and Abby both were grinning widely and triumphantly, each clutching a small handful of something green and leafy.

There is something so incredibly touching and heart-warming about this notion of a happy, unconcerned Daniel doing something as down-to-earth as digging up plants! And the idea of him and Abby having so much fun doing this together just makes me so happy!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Yes, we’re all dyidg to dknow,” Rafe added sarcastically

Rafe's sarcasm is gonna be the end of me!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Don’t you recognise it? It’s horehound!” Abby proclaimed excitedly.

Would it be terribly immature of me to have sniggered at the sound of the word "horehound"? Jesus, I'm turning twenty!  

 

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Excuse bme? It’s-hhh-heh’IHSHh!-it’s what dnow?”

We each murmured a bless you, at which Rafe looked faintly embarrassed. He shrank back into his chair a little and rubbed at his nose boyishly, quirking an eyebrow at Abby.

This passage, though!  1) Rafe being interrupted by his sneeze. 2) The continued stuffy talk, aww! 3) The way he gets embarrassed and rubs his nose like that. I can just see it.  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

As he spoke, his eyes came to rest on Rafe, a thoughtful expression forming, “And it seems that we have a willing test subject right here.”

The entire set-up of this with Abby and Daniel yielding herbs from the garden to use them as medicine for Rafe is so, so cute and lovely!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Shut up, you two,” Rafe scowled, before his expression dissolved and became more vacant than it was vexed. “hh’ehsh’ihh!-iihshh!-fugck,” he grumbled into an elbow. The curse was spoken in a slightly higher pitch: his eyelids were fluttering shut again, barely giving him time to take a reflexive breath in between. Neither Justin nor I could contain our giggles. “hhe’iiSHH!”

UM. The descriptions here are perfect?! Also, sneezing and swearing! I love this bit, aww!!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Adyway,” Rafe said pointedly. He was trying to sound dignified, but his stuffiness combined with the general sandpaper-roughness of his voice detracted from the overall effect. “Are you sure that stuff is eved safe for humand codsumbp-Abby, I cand do that bmyself, you dknow.”

He intercepted Abby as she went to wipe his nose for him, taking the tissues from her pointedly. She laughed apologetically and nodded.

“Sorry, Rafe, sorry.”

I know I'm quoting almost everything, but Abby actually trying to wipe Rafe's nose for him while he's trying to regain some of his dignity is just...  It's so intimate, I can barely imagine it happening in real life, but with these five, I can totally see it!

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

The two of them were laughing, and I was sure Abby was blushing.

That's so cute, somebody help me...!  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

I grinned and mooed at Rafe, who looked as if he was fighting off giggles in favour of looking pissed off.

“Goats dond’t moo, Lex.”

“What do they do, then?”

“C’mere, Rafe, we’ll feed it to you!”

“Dno way! Who dknows what that stuff is? It could be sombe sort of hallucinogenic! I’mb dnot touchidg the stuff!”

“Come on, Rafe, live a little!”

All of this made me laugh so much! Especially Lexie mooing when they're talking about goats! Why do I feel like that's something she'd do?  

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

I remember thinking, as we chased Rafe through the hallway with handfuls of herbs, that I couldn’t wait to see what the strange, ancient herb garden might yield next. Who knows what we could have, by the next spring?

It wasn’t the first time I had forgotten that my time there was decidedly limited. Lexie had had forever, and lost it.

I tried to inherit her forever, when I never had the right.

Aaaaand of course. After all that fluff and hotness and loveliness, of course you decide to casually cut out my heart with a rusty knife, huh?  No, but honestly, this is sooo incredibly sad and painful, but I feel like pain is such a big part of the original, you almost cannot write authentic fic without including at least a bit of it! So I actually really appreciate it and also think it worked well to round this piece of loveliness off!

So, umm... THIS ALREADY MADE ME SOOO HAPPY, but holy crap, there's more!!  

 

8 hours ago, MaiMai said:

She was back in Whitethorn House. It happened so often these days, that when Abby opened her eyes, she knew. She knew she was dreaming.

She didn’t care. This was the only way in which she could ever visit it again: memories weren’t the same. Memories were illustrations in a picture book, their colours faded and washing away with each recollection.

Dreams were entirely different. Dreams took a little bit of nostalgia, a hint of sentimentality and a thousand moments of heartbreak, and recreated a whole time from the ground up.

Oh God, This hurts so much already!  Simply the fact that she knows right away she's dreaming, because all of this isn't real anymore, can't be real anymore, but still tries to stay and enjoy the dream, so that dream and memory become tangled and she just tries to relive these times as vividly as she can because she misses them so much... I... I can't. This is so, so sad.  

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

It was a grey afternoon that seemed to last for an eternity. Beneath the snow outside, Glenskehy lay dormant and hibernating. Whitethorn House was the only indication of life for miles around: candle light burned steadily, giving the windows a homely glow.

Abby remembered hoping that to look up at the solitary house, its golden windows so alive with warmth, might make someone outside in the cold feel the same safety and comfort she felt, tucked up beneath the patchwork blanket she had sewn together with Lexie.

This description is so beautiful somehow. I love the sense of peace and coziness it conveys!  

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

They had discovered it a few months ago, in a vintage store. Rafe had been incensed by the price, and taken it upon himself to haggle the shopkeeper down as far as possible. Abby had gotten it for practically nothing, and Rafe had reminded them consistently of his victory for over a week.

Awww, Rafe!  God, I have no words for how much I love these characters and you capture them so well!

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

Her throat was prickling and sore to swallow; her head ached gently; she was only able to breathe through parted lips. Her whole body felt tired, almost dormant, a little too warm, and the ghost of a shiver trailed down her arms and encircled her wrists, pricking goose bumps on her skin.

Again, what a wonderful description. I can just feel it, you know?

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“I’ll live,” she smiled, a brief, flickering expression, filled with reassurance and a silent pleading of don’t worry about me, please. Flickering, because it faltered and fell so hastily, yet was so bright whilst it lasted. “hii’tsshh!-sorry.”

This is so cute!

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

he brushed her hair from her forehead.

Ummm... small loving gestures like this totally kill me?!  

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

Gently, he ducked his head to press his lips to her forehead. It was the most fleeting of touches, but it made Abby’s heart ache oddly in her chest. Whilst she wanted, desperately, to believe that it was gesture for her and her alone, she couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t have done the same for one of the others.

Oh God! Oh, Jesus. This captures their complicated dynamic so well! He loves her, but he also loves all of them, so how can she differentiate between the two and figure out what it actually means? All of this is so bitter-sweet!

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Féferig,” he said as he drew away.

Fey-feh-rihg. The archaic word was unfairly beautiful, in his voice.

“Feverish,” Abby translated with a small smile.

It was an ancient, Old English word they had come across recently. The five of them had a tendency to exchange the odd word of Old English, or Latin, or Ancient Greek, in ordinary conversation.

Rafe had once pointed out that this possibly contributed to the rest of the English department perceiving them as stuck up. Lexie had countered that if they weren’t intelligent enough to be able to pick up a singular word of an old language, what did they want to do with them, anyway?

Daniel with the Old English, you're killing me!!  Also, oh dear, my favorite nerds!  I can totally see them doing this, though, and I LOVE it.

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“What did she-ohsorryhii’tsch!-she bmake?”

Abby getting interrupted by her own sneeze and apologizing before it even happens - my heart!  

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

She still sat herself up, shivering as the blankets fell away from her shoulders, replaced by the too thin curtain of her hair. She was sure she had plaited it on going to bed: it had already come loose.

All of these details are soo adorable!  RIP me! This is too cute!

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

Lexie had chosen her favourite one: white china with a faded pattern of bluebells.

Lexie is such a sweetheart, aw! <3

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

“Then for the most part, I’m glad.”

This is such a Daniel line, I feel!

9 hours ago, MaiMai said:

Abby opened her eyes.

Plain white sheets; plain white walls; plain white ceiling.

She closed them again, fighting the sting of tears.

Waking up was always the hardest part. Waking up meant remembering, not just the good and the beautiful times, but also the painful and the lost.

Whitethorn House was in ashes, Daniel was gone.

No, you don't understand, I am rocking back and forth and I'm in physical pain!! This is... ahh... this is sooo so sad!  

 

I don't even know what to say at this point! I'm so overwhelmed by how amazing these two stories were, honestly! I don't think I can convey how happy these have made me! I LOVE the playful atmosphere in the first one, and Abby and Daniel so happy, and the five of them together, and everyone joining efforts to take care of Rafe! And like I said, the whole idea with harvesting medicine from the herb garden is so old-fashioned and lovely and totally them, and Rafe being so reluctant because he's not a goat!  The dialogue was so good and authentic and, like I said, I just really loved the playfulness and their group dynamic in it! Also, sick Rafe is always just... hnnn...

And then the second one, aww!! I love that it's just a two-on-two between Abby and Daniel, too. I love to see him care for her like that! He's so gentle and sweet! And she's ever so subtly dismissive and tries not to worry him, but also accepts his care and is thankful for it. This is so in line with my headcanons, too, isn't it? And it's so incredibly sad, yet at the same time so peaceful and cozy and wonderful! Just like the novel! A lot of beauty, a lot of pain, and masterfully interwoven. You are so good, I don't even know what else to say!

You know these two are going in the drawer, don't you?  Actually, I now feel compelled to find a beautiful folder for them, too. Once again, THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for writing something so incredible for me! I honestly just want to disappear into these stories forever!

Much, much love from a very happy and thankful
Sophie  

 

[PuddinPop]

GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF I SAY SO THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE MMM WOOOO GOOD SHIT

Ahem.

You know I don't know this fandom but I love everything you write and these were absolutely adorable. I love the narrative and I love how you managed to capture the characters in such a simple yet effective way. I also loved reading Sophie's response  

[Sophie<3]

12 hours ago, PuddinPop said:

GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF I SAY SO THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE MMM WOOOO GOOD SHIT

Perfectly appropriate response to the gorgeousness that are MaiMai's stories!!   

And I'm honestly so endlessly flattered that these pieces of perfection were written for none other than me...! *squeals in delight*  

Also:

12 hours ago, PuddinPop said:

I also loved reading Sophie's response  

Thanks!  (And that was me trying to contain myself!  )

[MaiMai]

On 27/06/2016 at 11:56 AM, Sophie<3 said:

Oh. MY GOD. You did not! OH MY GOD!!!

See, you said there was going to be a surprise, and I was kind of hoping it might be birthday-related, but of course I wasn't sure at all, it could've been something entirely different, and I definitely wasn't expecting it before my birthday and now I look at the forum and find this?! I'm not sure I'll find the words to express how endlessly thrilled and excited and flattered and happy all of this has made me feel! But if you can imagine me sitting in front of my laptop, clasping my hands over my face and screaming, that should give you some idea!  I swear, I was biting my knuckles and tearing up, because I can't believe you did this for me, and it's TWO stories too instead of just one and I don't even know how I deserve any of this! All I know is that I love you soo, sooo much!  

And you know what? I don't mind getting this early at all! In fact, I'm starting to think early birthday gifts are the best ones, because you receive them completely unexpected and that makes things even more exciting!  Also, you could've probably sent this to me a few months late and I would've still been happy, because I love these stories soo much!!

Oh my gosh, Sophie!!! You are so welcome and I am so overjoyed that you liked them! You totally deserve this and so much more! It was a little tough remembering not to tell you about these fics, because I'm used to talking to you so much about what I'm writing (and as you know, I did slip up a bit at one point ). But I just really, really wanted to write you something, because you really are so amazing, so I started deciding what to write pretty much as soon as I finished my exams, haha!

And your comments on my stories always make me so, so happy, which you already know, but this made me even happier, because like I said, I'm so glad that you enjoyed them!

I'm so flattered that these will go into the drawer too, aaahhh!

I don't really know what else to say, except that I live for your comments and you're so lovely and the best person to write for and yeah.

Once again, I hope you had the best birthday ever!

(Also, I practically kicked myself with the Uncle Simon thing, because I thought I had it wrong, meant to check it against the novel, and then totally forgot! )

On 28/06/2016 at 4:12 AM, PuddinPop said:

GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF I SAY SO THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE MMM WOOOO GOOD SHIT

Ahem.

You know I don't know this fandom but I love everything you write and these were absolutely adorable. I love the narrative and I love how you managed to capture the characters in such a simple yet effective way. I also loved reading Sophie's response  

I've already told you this, Puddin, but I completely lost it at the first part of this, omg.

I'm so flattered that you read these despite not knowing the fandom, and that you enjoyed them, too...!

And thank you for listening to my endless ramblings about whether they were good enough and not being able to decide which ones to actually post.

[Winged]

Oooh I got so excited when I saw the title! I've talked a little bit with Sophie over PM about how much I adore this book, so it's such a lovely surprise when I see fics pop up. What a beautiful, stellar book, man. And you captured the tone of it so beautifully! This line in particular in the first story:

Quote

I tried to inherit her forever, when I never had the right.

it gave me SHIVERS it was so close to the original. You even nailed all the adorable little dynamics between the group of them -- Abby wiping dirt off of Daniel's cheek, Justin and Cassie/Lexie teasing Rafe (I loved that Rafe was the sick one, btw), how each of them had their own little parts of the house they were tending...so lovely. 

[MaiMai]

20 hours ago, Winged said:

Oooh I got so excited when I saw the title! I've talked a little bit with Sophie over PM about how much I adore this book, so it's such a lovely surprise when I see fics pop up. What a beautiful, stellar book, man. And you captured the tone of it so beautifully! This line in particular in the first story:

it gave me SHIVERS it was so close to the original. You even nailed all the adorable little dynamics between the group of them -- Abby wiping dirt off of Daniel's cheek, Justin and Cassie/Lexie teasing Rafe (I loved that Rafe was the sick one, btw), how each of them had their own little parts of the house they were tending...so lovely. 

Ahhh, oh my gosh! It's so awesome to see someone else around here who loves The Likeness, too! It's such an incredible novel!

And I don't think I can even begin to express how flattered gushy I am that you said I captured the tone...and that that one line was close to the original?! Thank you so so much!  The dynamics between them is something I've been working to get as accurate as possible for a while (I've written several fics based on The Likeness before, but these are the only ones to make it onto the forum, haha!), so again I'm really flattered that you thought it worked!

Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment!