Sneezy Avengers

[antonio]

Hey! I'm new here, so if I am doing anything wrong, please tell me. I've been lurking on the forum for about a year and I love the fics so I decided it was time to contribute something. I've made the title rather vague and included quite a number of tags mainly because I intend to put all my Avenger short stories on here. Anyways, on with my first story!

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Tony Stark has a messy cold, and won't admit it. 

(a purely self-indulgent descriptive piece, don't read if you don't like mess)

Wrapping a tissue around his nostrils, Tony gave a long gurgling blow, forcing mucus to expel from his oval-shaped nostrils. He rolled his eyes as he realized that the tissue had become snot-heavy with just one blow. The wetness seeped through the thin paper and reached his fingertips. He quickly swapped for a fresh tissue and blew his nose throughly again. A throaty, appreciative moan came from him when his ability to breathe through his nose returned. He washed his hands and looked up to see himself in the mirror. 

It was definitely one of his worse-looking days, not that he still didn't look good, Tony thought. His nostrils were chapped to high hell, despite him purchasing the softest tissues to tend to his sniffling appendage. His nose was a shade of red that matched his famous Iron Man suit. He watched as his nose wrinkled and his nostrils flared in a constant state of tickle.

A familiar feeling entered his nose, and Tony groaned in exhaustion. He was tired of sneezing; he had been doing that all night. He pinched his nose in a feeble attempt to stop the incessant itching, but all it did was push mucus out of his nostrils, and drip down his fingers. He quickly grabbed a couple of tissues to wipe the stickiness away.

The tickle was slowly growing, and the amount of snot lodged in his sinuses was increasing. Clear liquid glistened at the rough edges of his fluttering nostrils. Tony moved his face muscles around his sneezy appendage, which only provided a millisecond of rest from the tingling. For once, he wished that the sneeze would come sooner; the build-up was killing him.

Mucus started to move downwards on to his cupid's bow. He would have wiped it off, but the tickle had multiplied tenfold and Tony was completely taken over by the impending sneeze. All the man could focus on was the never-ending tickle . He wanted to sneeze so bad, but fuck, he couldn't. 

His breath hitched, and his nose crinkled. His lips parted and his nose was so stuffed up he couldn't breathe, despite having blown it a minute ago. Tony could feel it coming; the sneeze was coming, it was undoubtedly going to be messy, and it was going to feel so damn good. He rapidly grabbed several tissues and held them centimetres away from his face. His nose was near exploding, and he let himself take one last huge breath-

"ahh..AHH...AH-HAHSZCHIOOOO!"

The sneeze was deafeningly loud and wet from the congestion that had settled in his sinuses. The tissues were pressed against his nose and mouth as he bent forward at the waist from the extraordinary force. 

Tony could not possibly have prepared for the amount of snot that expulsed from his nostrils, which has flared so much they became circular. The measly tissues he had plucked from the box were absolutely useless in catching the humongous sneeze. They were blown to shreds, leaving the snot having nowhere to go but his hands and his surroundings. 

It would have been an understatement to say that Tony Stark, the genius billionaire, was a mess. Sticky, slightly yellow-green liquid covered his hands and dripped down his chin. A mixture of snot and saliva was splattered on the mirror. The tissues had fallen onto the floor, heavy with fluid. Tony gave a useless sniffle to quell the last remnants of that vicious tickle, but to his dismay, the tickle grew and Tony was left absolutely defenceless. He covered the lower part of his face with his snot-ridden hands urgently. He had no choice; it was either that, or spray his sink with mucus. 

"HAH-CSHOOOO!"

His nostrils expelled yet more mucus (how could a person produce so much, he did not know), and his hands were now even messier than before. The thick and sticky substance enveloped the entire lower part of his face. Swearing in his head (he wouldn't dare open his mouth with all that snot on it), he nudged his elbow to turn the tap on. Slowly, he washed his hands and his face till none of that god damned muck could be found on him. 

He wiped his hands dry and stared at his reflection in his newly cleaned mirror. His nose was now redder than ever, and it felt like anything, even a small gush of air, could trigger it into another messy explosion. He winced as he wrapped a few tissues around his still pulsating appendage and gave a juicy blow out of one nostril, and then the other. He gave a sigh of content as he started to breathe through his nose again. Huh, he thought, definitely not sick.

- - - - -

Hope you enjoyed that! I am slowly getting myself out of a writer's block currently, so my flow of ideas is quite slow, which is why I would love some requests from you guys.  If you've got an idea for where this story should go, a particular character sneeze headcanon, or just any ideas really, I would love to hear them. Also, it would mean so much to me if you left a comment about what you thought of this story, english is not my first language after all. I'm probably talking too much, but thank you!

[SneezyHolmes]

Not gonna lie, my inner 'extreme mess lover' is absolutely flabbergasted with this delightful story! I think this was well written in my opinion and for English not being your first language, you did great! Can't wait to read more from you in the future!  

[Rook]

hm scott lang from ant man please thank you  

[antonio]

Steve Rogers' nose is sensitive to the cold.

It was reaching the end of summer, slowly transitioning to Autumn, and Steve was starting to feel the temperature drop. As a another gush of wind blew against his muscular form, he shivered in his tight clothing and quickly made his way back to Avengers tower.

 

Entering the impressive building, he was welcomed by a surge of warmth that caused him to let out a breath of relief. The heat was comforting, but seemed to loosen up a bit of the congestion that had settled in his sinuses from his morning run. His nose became runny extremely fast, and by the time Steve reached the common floor, he was sniffling constantly. 

 

He ignored the impending mess of his nose, and decided that quenching his thirst was more important. He grabbed a glass and was about to fill it with water when a sudden tickle flared in his appendage, forcing him to put down his cup. The itch in his nose became far more important as he brought his hands upward to cover his nose and mouth.

 

"HEHTSCHUUUH!"

 

The sneeze came out with speed and ease - not even a buildup, just a huge breath and a messy expulsion. It was thunderous and loud, due to his increased lung capacity he received when he was injected with the super soldier serum. Mucus and saliva shot out from his nose and mouth into his hands. 

 

Steve quickly went towards the box of tissues sitting on the counter, and proceeded to clean himself up. Once his hands were clear, he brought a couple of tissues to wrap around his large nose. Keeping a few fingers on each side of his proboscis to keep the napkin in place, he gave a long, wet blow.

 

He took a few more tissues to wipe away the residue around his nostrils. His tissue-covered fingers embraced his septum, and he slowly massaged it in circles. Steve was enjoying the pleasure from rubbing his nose when he heard the elevator door slide open. He speedily threw away all the tissues and washed his hands, trying his best to pretend that he wasn't just a complete mess.

 

- - - - -

 

Second story! I see that Scott Lang request, and I'll be working on that soon. Still accepting more requests, and feedback is appreciated.  

[Rook]

OH MY GOD SWEET BABY CAPTAIN OK I'M DEAD EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE. VERY GOOD JOB ok now that I can think again this was Adorable as f!  

[antonio]

Here's a sneezy Scott Lang, as promised. Hope y'all enjoy! Feedback is loved.

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Even the ants don't want to be near Scott Lang's sneezes. 

"You're Antman, you're a damn superhero, and you're sick."

Hank asked as he unbelievingly took in the sight in front of him. Sitting across the table was a cold-ridden Scott Lang. He cringed inwardly as the younger man ran a finger under his runny nose, and gave a congested "Yea."

The older man sighed as he poured two cups of tea. "Looks like we'll have to postpone the mission. Would you like some sugar?"

"Snf, yes please. Look, I really don't want to put off this mission any longer, but snf, I really am indisposed." His attention was drawn towards a couple of ants pushing cubes of sugar towards his cup. He grimaced a little in disgust. "Uh, no thanks."

Hank felt the germaphobia rise in him as he watched Scott sniffle over and over again, trying to keep his nose from running onto his upper lip. "Forget the sugar," he huffed out, "get this man some tissues, for Christ's sake!"

A group of ants delivered a box of tissues which the sick man gratefully received, before hurriedly scurrying away. He muttered a thanks as his breath hitched suddenly. He urgently grabbed a bundle of the white paper and wrapped it around s his dinky nose. He let out four forceful explosions into his covered hands. "Hachoo! HaacHOO! HAA.. HACHOO! HAH...CHOOO!"

Hank blessed him. His mind was filled with worry about how contagious Scott was. "You know what, you should head back up to your room, and get some rest." He did not want him or his daughter to catch this nasty cold. 

A worded reply was not heard. Only thing that could be seen was the sight of his nostrils twitching, wetness collecting at the edges of his appendage, hands frantically trying to gather more tissues, his mouth opening to take in a giant breath, and a volley of more than ten messy sneezes being released. Hank could not have made his way out of that room faster. 

[Rook]

OMG I'M DEAD I LOVE YOU

[Aquara]

So like these are pretty awesome. If you are still taking requests, could you write another tony one? 

[Seeker]

I LOVE your Ant-Man story 😁

[RedVelvetHeart]

I love all things Avengers!!! Thor?

[kushamisukii]

On 8/28/2018 at 11:15 PM, superimmunegirl said:

I love all things Avengers!!! Thor?

I second this 🤣🤣

But omg these are all sooo good. I loooove them. Steve is so precious Haha. The Tony one was soo 😍💋🙈.. I love messy sneezes. Haha. 

I can't wait to read more!!~ ♡♡