Only Human (Sterek Teen Wolf)

[ephemeral]

I don't know what to write here so hello aha  I've wrote a few Teen Wolf sickfics but never actually posted them because well I'm not the best writer in the world and I've been to nervous to actually do it. I wrote this at like 3 in the morning so sorry in advance if it really sucks but please if you would like to give me some advice on how to improve it or some ideas of what to do next with the story don't hesitate to tell me. This is only the first part and I'm thinking of doing at least 4 parts, sorry for the lack of sneezing but there will be much more sneezy Stiles coming. Hope you enjoy it! 

Stiles rolled over in bed and looked at his alarm clock on his bed side table. His eyes focused on the bright red numbers hazily and read that it was 2.53am. He just couldn't seem to get any sleep. He decided to go outside and take a bit of a walk. He got up put on his Adidas sneakers, a pair of trackies and his favourite red jumper and headed out the front door quitely being sure not to wake his dad up. He continued walking further away and ended up in some random forest, there were a few forests in Beacon Hills so he had no idea where he was. He came across a large rock near a little stream and just sat down there for a while, breathing in the cool night air. Everything was calm and peaceful until his breath began to hitch. The wintery cold air teased and tortured his senstive quivering nostrils. Stiles was particularly senstive to the cold and he was guaranteed to sneeze eventually no matter how long he tried to hold it (them) back. The pollen from the trees and plants in the forest probably weren't helping much either. Stiles rubbed at his nose. His nostrils flared as he tried coaxing put the stubborn sneezes. His eyelids slipped shut and he held his breath and then subcum to the attack of small rapid sneezes. His body jolted and rocked slightly as the sneezes over took over.

"Txch! Tch! Nxgt! Xtch! Ngt'ch! Tch! Hhh....ehhh...hihh..T'choo! Hi'itch! It'choo! Tch! Hi'ishuu! K'chew! Ah'chew!"

He tried to keep them as quiet as possible even though it was pointless and it was very unlikely that someone would be out in a dark cold forest in the early hours of the morning listening to him sneeze his head off repeatedly.

It was silent for a while, all except for some sniffling and sneezing every now and then until Stiles heard a voice. A voice that was very familiar, deep, masculine but gentle at the same time. He knew who it was.

"Bless you Stiles"

[ladytiscot]

OMG Sterek fan fiction! Yesss! That was so hot. I can't wait to read more! I love stifles/rapid fits, so I quite enjoyed Stiles... erm, outburst. I also liked the varied onomatopoeias you used. Since you've asked for input, I have a few suggestions, but these are mostly personal preference, so don't feel pressure to change anything!

• Instead of "some random forest" maybe "woods near his house". Maybe this is a personal, nit-picking thing, but it just makes it feel more real

• I like the way you build towards the sneezes by talking about his nose being sensitive to the cold and pollen, etc. I would enjoy if these tidbits were incorporated a little earlier, as he's walking, and then "Everything was calm and peaceful until his breath began to hitch." (I love that sentence) happens right before his sneeze attack. What can I say? I'm a fan of a slow build.

• Is Stiles stifling or does he just have some small sneezes? Both are appealing, though I am partial to stifles.

• The whole trying-to-keep-quiet thing is really hot. Maybe you can take out "it was pointless". Is Stiles uncomfortable sneezing in front of people? If so, maybe it doesn't matter whether or not it's likely anyone would hear him (turns out not to be so unlikely after all. Derek...ahem), but the mere possibility of someone hearing him might be enough to make him self-conscious enough to try and be quiet. Or maybe he senses someone else's presence? (*cough*...Derek)

• 16 hours ago, sterek_teenwolf said:

  It was silent for a while, all except for some sniffling and sneezing every now and then until Stiles heard a voice. A voice that was very familiar, deep, masculine but gentle at the same time. He knew who it was.
  
  "Bless you Stiles"

  ^I love this!!

 

Well there's my two-cents (more like 50 cents... heh). I'm hope I'm not coming across like I want you to cater this fanfic to me, because first and foremost your writing is for you. I want to reiterate, thank you for sharing this. I hope you post more.

[ephemeral]

Wow thankyou so much for all your advice and help, it means alot. Glad you like the story