An Escalation of Aggressions (Harry Potter: Remus Lupin)

[Dusty15]

On 30 April, 2016 at 1:39 AM, queenie said:

Eh-KISSHT. Remus lowered his hands from his face, now looking pink and worn-out. "Does that offer to lie down still stand?"

GUH! Could they be any more adorable! Poor hayfeverish Moony <3 I hope he gets SOME relief soon!

[Juto]

I'm swooning a little over your writing

Your take on these characters is just lovely to read  

And uhh, you really don't have to send James to the showers on my account  

[Sophie<3]

Amazing!  And I really love how you write about their everyday Hogwarts life, with homework and quidditch practice and the "muggle duelling".  

[queenie]

Dusty15: I'mma take "could they be any more adorable?" as a challenge.

Juto: You are sooo sweet, and that means a lot coming from you bc I've seen your work!

Sophie<3: True story: I once wrote a fanfic where James and Sirius beat each other up and someone mentioned in the comments that they loved when that was called "Muggle duelling" and I was so upset I hadn't thought to do that, so now I work it in wherever possible as, like, a pre-emptive strike.

Okay I know this is a quick turnaround, but A OF ALL, I waited a really long time between the last two parts, and SECONDLY, this was originally plotted to be part of the previous section but then I changed my mind about some stuff and couldn't work it in, so here is the second-to-last bit.

 

Late that night, the Gryffindor dormitory and its denizens lay quiescent and somnolent.

Well, almost.

James Potter, Quidditch star, was exhausted from his athletic exploits and had fallen into his usual deep slumber. Peter Pettigrew, after one or three too many consolatory puddings at dinner, was practically comatose. Sirius Black did not sleep-- he often did not-- but anyone beyond the curtains of his bed would not have known this, as he lay still and silent, listening to the night.

That left one.

What Sirius was listening to, really, were the muffled sounds coming from Remus's four-poster. They weren't loud sounds, precisely, especially from Sirius's bed on the far side of the room, but he was attuned to them now and waiting for the next just as surely as Remus was. One came just about every minute, which meant that any time now...

hehnxt

Sirius released a slow breath and sat up. He'd hesitated to do this, but enough was enough. He tried not to think too much about what he was doing; he let his body guide him to standing and then, a few quiet steps later, he was by Remus's bed. Pushing aside the curtain, he whispered "Budge up," and climbed in.

Remus sneezed again, a repressed ngxxt, but he pulled his legs aside so Sirius could slide himself into the bed behind him. "Hope I didn't wake you," he said, somehow fitting a miserable amount of guilt into a whisper.

"I wasn't asleep," Sirius said.

"Nightmare?" Remus asked.

Sirius didn't answer. It was plausible-- it happened all the time-- and it was better to let Remus believe that than to consider the other possibilities, whatever they may be. 

Remus nestled against him, offering what physical comfort he could. Sirius liked to be touched after a nightmare, and often climbed into bed with one or another of his friends, for a half-hour or so of reassurance before crawling back into his own. There wasn't anything abnormal about him slipping into Remus's bed in the wee hours. Nothing at all.

Except, of course, Sirius hadn't been dreaming.

Heh-nntch. Remus stifled the sneeze into his fist, then inhaled a desperate gasp before stifling another hihnncht. The way he sighed afterward revealed how much it took out of him.

Sirius wished his mother had been a more maternal type, or at least that the governesses he'd spent his youth terrorizing had been selected for nurturing instincts rather than blood status and willingness to adhere to strict dictates. Then he might know how to soothe with a touch of his hand, or at least how to sing a lullaby. The only song he'd ever learned from any of the governesses had been an especially brutal dirge about a witch being burned to death by her Muggle lover. In German. It wasn't really any wonder he'd turned out with chronic nightmares, after a childhood like that, but it did leave him rather bereft of tools for situations like these.

Remus interrupted this reverie with another sneeze, this one a particularly tight nxgxt.

"Morgana's tits, Remus, you're going to blow an eardrum if you keep that up," Sirius breathed into the back of Remus's neck. 

"Don't want to-- ngxt-- don't want to wake everyone," Remus said, the flinch of the suppressed sneeze driving him to shudder against Sirius. 

"You won't wake Prongs or Wormtail, they both sleep like lethifolds have got to them," Sirius said. "I'm the only one who wakes up, and I'm already awake."

Remus made no answer to that except another restrained hinssht.

"They're clearly not doing you any good like that," Sirius wheedled. "If you're so worried about the noise, there's such a thing as a Soundproofing Charm, you know."

"Oh," Remus sighed, sounding almost impossibly weary. "Right." He reached for his bedside table to grab his wand, at the same time quashing a hingxst against the back of his hand.

Sirius deftly lifted the wand from his hand. "Don't be daft," he said. "You can't be thinking of doing magic when you're sneezing every two seconds. You're far cleverer than that."

He didn't need night vision to be able to tell Remus was frowning. "It isn't every two seconds," Remus muttered, but undercut his own argument with another sneeze, heh-shht.

Sirius tapped the bed curtains and uttered the incantation; he was a gifted enough wizard to do a spell this simple with another bloke's wand. "Sneeze away," he whispered, smiling in the darkness. He wasn't sure why he was still whispering-- now that he'd done the charm, they should have been able to talk at quite a considerable volume without disturbing anyone. Habit, he supposed. It was difficult to break the intimacy of a whisper once it had been established.

"Thank you," Remus murmured.

"'Course," Sirius said. He'd do anything for Remus's comfort. Any of his friends, really. But there was something different about the way it felt to do things for Remus, versus doing them for James or Peter. Something about intensity, something about his stomach...

Hek-shoo! Heh-kschmpf! Remus sighed contentedly and relaxed against his pillow.

"Feel better?"

"Loads." Remus paused. Somehow Sirius knew he wasn't waiting on a sneeze, that he was working on saying something else. Sirius knew all the shades of Remus's silences.

When Remus spoke again, his voice was almost quieter than the empty air it filled. "Will you... want to go back to your bed now?"

Sirius supposed he ought to. It made the most logical sense. Remus was sorted, and his pretext of needing comfort after a nightmare was getting thinner as the minutes ticked by. But, not for the first or even the hundredth time in his young life, what he ought to do and what he wanted to do did not line up. 

"I think I'll stay a bit longer, if you don't mind," he said instead, settling back down.

[Juto]

D'AAAAHHHH MY HEART!,  

This story is already amazing, but this has to be my fave chapter of the bunch! Just the idea of Sirius seeking comfort after a nightmare is cute enough in itself but then...

They weren't loud sounds, precisely, especially from Sirius's bed on the far side of the room, but he was attuned to them now and waiting for the next just as surely as Remus was.

There wasn't anything abnormal about him slipping into Remus's bed in the wee hours. Nothing at all.

 It was difficult to break the intimacy of a whisper once it had been established.

AND OH MY GOSH THIS!!!!!

Sirius knew all the shades of Remus's silences.

*turns to mush*!!!!!  

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

I swear this is sooooo adorable. My love for Lupin ASIDE everyone is so perfect. UNF dead over Sirius and Lupin together.  

[RiversD]

This is adorable, queenie.

I continue to be really happy about how you treat the Potterverse in this. I especially like how it feels you're giving due care and attention to all the marauders' characters. Like, it doesn't feel like 'Remus and Sirius, and some others are here too, I guess'. (Now I come to think of it, it goes beyond the four boys, because Lily and the rest aren't exactly neglected)

I just really dig your commitment to detail, and to giving all the characters present personalities of their own, even if they only get a few sentences of 'screentime'.

[Sophie<3]

On ‎03‎.‎05‎.‎2016 at 7:55 AM, queenie said:

"Morgana's tits, Remus, you're going to blow an eardrum if you keep that up," Sirius breathed into the back of Remus's neck. 

This bit, though!  

And Remus sneezing practically without a pause, and stifling them to be considerate and not disturb the others, and Sirius climbing into bed with him... Gahh...  

Also, this: <3

On ‎03‎.‎05‎.‎2016 at 7:55 AM, queenie said:

Sirius knew all the shades of Remus's silences.

They were my first ever OTP and will always hold this special place in my heart.  

[queenie]

Juto: Don't tell the others, but it was my favorite chapter, too! The intimacy of it, pared down to two people in an enclosed space. Your thrilled quoting of me gives me life!

Kaze: Hnnnn, welcome! Thank you dreadfully. 

RiversD: I have nothing if not respect for Harry Potter! I cut my teeth on this stuff, I take it super seriously, and the very last thing I want to do is treat its colorful, fantastic cast as window-dressing, even if every story can;t be about each of them. So this comment means a lot to me!

Sophie<3: Same, girl. Same.

AND FINALLY:

 

Remus woke after what felt like only the barest hint of sleep, surprised to find himself pinned by the warm weight of an arm slung over his ribs. After a full moon, he sometimes woke disoriented enough to be unsure of his surroundings and company, but the rest of the time he'd rather thought he could be counted upon to wake up in his bed unaccompanied, the same way every time. He hadn't even prided himself on it; it had simply been something he'd relied upon about himself. 

He wasn't certain if it was more or less surprising that the sleeping person stretched out on his mattress was Sirius. 

Sirius sometimes laid in Remus's bed if he'd had a particularly bad nightmare, like he would with James or Peter. He liked having his hair stroked or his back rubbed when he was upset. In that respect, his presence there wasn't too unusual. But he'd never spent the night. He'd always gone back to his own bed before he fell asleep, so the sight of him slumbering in the grayish dawn light-- that, that was quite unusual indeed. 

He was still processing the sight of it-- Sirius's sleep-ruffled dark hair slung across his face, his lips gently parted, his eyelashes brushing against the skin of his cheeks, his arm on Remus's stomach-- when his eyes began to water. That's how he became aware that his nose itched-- probably had been itching since he'd been asleep-- and that he was going to sneeze.

He felt around in the blankets for the handkerchief he'd had last night, which had to be around somewhere, but it was very difficult without being able to move. Breathing shallowly through his mouth in an attempt to forestall the impending mess, he remembered almost too late the stack of backups Lily had left on his bedside table. He snaked a hand between the curtains of his four-poster and grabbed a perfectly-folded triangle from the top of the stack, then brought it to his face and cupped it over his nose and mouth to catch two desperate sneezes. Nnhe-ktshh! Hunh-Inktsh!

Sirius, startled by the jolting movements of Remus's body against his own, blinked awake, his arm for one moment reflexively tightening around the other boy.

"Sorry," Remus sniffled, rubbing the bridge of his nose to quiet any residual tickle. "Reckon I really did wake you that time."

Sirius must not have been quite awake yet, although he was normally quite sharp of a morning, for he looked a bit confused. He sat up, retracting all his limbs until he wasn't touching Remus at all.

Remus's ankle burned where Sirius's leg had just been pressed. "...Sirius? Are you all right?" He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but something didn't seem right.

"Aces, mate." Sirius's voice sounded odd. "I should get going, actually. Loads to do before classes."

Like what?, Remus wondered, but instead he replied faintly: "You don't have class until the afternoon, though." Neither of them did; it was Arithmancy, and it began at half-three.

"All the more reason to get an early start," Sirius said. Remus realized what the problem was with his voice: it was about half an octave higher-pitched than usual. "You take a lie-in and before you know it all that time is, it's gone." He squirmed from between the bedclothes while running a hand through his tangled hair. Normally, he would have made a joke about Potter hair, with a set-up like that; there was nothing remotely normal about this morning.

In his haste, Sirius left the curtains to the bed slightly parted when he exited. Remus watched through the part in the fabric as Sirius scrambled in his trunk for a set of robes and his trainers before leaving the dormitory still in his pyjamas. 

Remus sat up in his bed, drawing his knees to his chin. "What the bloody hell was that," he muttered to himself.

It wasn't any use trying to go back to sleep after that kind of awakening, so he rose and dressed himself slowly. James and Peter were still asleep, but he didn't want to get stuck explaining the situation to them if he was still in the room when they woke up, especially since he couldn't. He felt cross and out-of-sorts, so he did what he often did when he was in need of a space to soothe and un-confuse himself: he went to the library.

At that early hour, he was the only student walking the shelves. He took his time removing some OWL-relevant books from the shelves, doing his best not to mutter under his breath about confusing moody boys who bolted in the morning. He'd spent nearly five years courting the favor of Madam Pince, who liked no one, but liked his friends marginally less than she liked everyone else, and liked him marginally more. He would hate to cause an errant noise in her library now and undo all his hard work. 

Once he had a teetering armful of books, he picked a study carrel near the back of the library and set them on the desk with a resounding thunk. His intention was to revise until either he got too peckish to continue or it was time to go to Arithmancy. Or until he combusted from feelings and set the entire library ablaze, ending his young life and the dilemma he now faced. Any of those timelines worked for him, honestly; his schedule was flexible until it was his turn to do Prefect rounds the next night.

In reality, his revision looked a lot more like an hour of glaring at the same page. He couldn't focus on his studies with this much swirling around in his brain. He rubbed his eyes, which made them itch again, so he pushed his chair back to lean his head against the cool glass of the window and settle in for a long session of staring idly out the window.

When he saw what was under the window, he gasped and jumped out of his chair. Neither of these actions went particularly gracefully; the gasp caught in his throat with a series of choking coughs and the chair scraped along the floor with a loud squeal. 

Madam Pince cleared her throat pointedly.

"Sorry, sorry," Remus said distractedly. He hadn't realized she was lurking in the shelves nearby to him, and hoped he hadn't done anything egregious. "I'm going, in any case." He was riveted by the figure, many floors below, of Sirius, pacing in circles and smoking a cigarette by the broom shed.

Remus's pounding heart begged him to hurry-- why, when Sirius had run from him this morning, he didn't know-- but he forced himself to re-shelve the books in their proper places so he'd still have a place to revise for his exams after he'd cleared all this mess up. Then, and only then, did he allow himself to break into a run.

He slowed again when he exited the castle, in part because he wanted to let his breathing re-acclimate and in part because he was... nervous? Surely not. He may not be quite as talented as James at calling Sirius our for acting a prat, but he'd do in a pinch. This oughtn't to be any different.

"Oi," he called, when he was about ten yards away. "What's with you today?"

Sirius startled, but he did nothing other than stare as Remus walked up to him.

"Well?" Remus asked, when he'd drawn close enough for a conversation at normal volume.

Sirius's lips parted; he licked them; they closed again. Then he inhaled sharply and swore under his breath, breaking for the first time his eye contact with Remus. He dropped the cigarette that had burned him and ground it viciously into the dirt with his shoe. 

Remus's breath was still heaving a little from exertion, but the building tension of a sneeze was a different thing entirely. In the outdoor air, his nose was bristling for a fight. He only had time to think oh bollocks before smothering the series of sneezes beneath his determination. Nngxt ingxxsht hingxt nxgt. 

Blinking up at Sirius through watery eyes, he dared the other boy to make an admonishing comment, but for once Sirius said nothing.

"Are you going to tell me what happened this morning or am I going to practice Legilime-- oh, damn it-- inxst ingst ngxt nngxtCHOO!"

"Didn't quite stick the landing on that last one," Sirius said finally, voice cracking a bit.

Remus sniffed. "Where did you learn the phrase 'stick the landing'?" he asked suspiciously.

"Muggle telly," Sirius replied, which didn't really reveal the answers to any of Remus's questions. But at least he was talking now.

Remus tried not to feel too relieved, and instead to focus on how annoyed he still was, even if it was partly with himself for feeling relieved. "Don't change the subject," he snapped, barely getting it out before the next volley of sneezes. Ehkscht ek-shoo hep-shoo hek-sha empkscht ischt escht essh.

"I-- shite, Moony, you're a mess," Sirius reached into the inner pocket of Remus's robes to tug out a handkerchief and press it tenderly to Remus's sensitive still-quivering nose. "We've got to get you back in the castle. Pomfrey probably has more of those potions she gave you yesterday."

There was something to Sirius's voice, now, something to the gentleness of his hands and the way he was avoiding Remus's gaze. Something dark. Something heavy. Something, for lack of a better word, serious. 

The same something vibrated through Remus, lodging somewhere under his breastbone, making it hurt to breathe in a way that had nothing to do with his allergies. And then the something snapped. "Fuck this," he said, grabbing SIrius's collar and pressing their lips together.

Sirius made a strangled sound; Remus released him, panicked about what a terrible mistake he'd made. "Sorry, sorry, oh Merlin, sorry," he babbled.

"Moony?"

"Yeah?" This was it, the last moment in which Remus had friends.

"Shut up," Sirius said, and kissed him. 

It was a nice moment. Well, it would have been a nice moment, probably, for someone without hayfever. All too soon, the desperation of kissing Sirius gave way to the desperation of needing another sneeze or-- more probably-- another sneezing fit, and he had to flail about in what was probably a rather foolish fashion, clawing and pushing at Sirius's robes.

"Too much?" Sirius asked, sounding anxious.

Remus shook his head. "Going... to sneeze," he panted. Heh-eh-ekshuh! Ekshtumpf!

Sirius laughed softly. He raised his hand, which still held Remus's handkerchief, and wiped Remus's face. "Come on, love," he murmured. "Let's go inside."

"No-- immpshmf-- no Hospital Wing," Remus said, pressing a knuckle into his right eye. 

"Let's get you cleaned up, at least," Sirius said.

Remus nodded, taking the first step back toward the castle.

Sirius slung an arm over his shoulders.

It felt like peace.

[estrelleta]

Ohhh this is just lovely...so much Potter nostalgia going on in my head after reading this. Your writing is beautiful and your love for these characters really comes through in every word.

[AngelEyes]

Awwww. The drama. Teenage love. LOL. And yay for a happy ending. And totally awesome Remus and Sirius. Loved Remus in the library! Perfect!

[Juto]

Awwww no!! I can't believe it's over  the build up to the actual kiss was wonderful and so full of little quirks it made me go all tingly with anticipation.  

Lovely story queenie, I hope it won't be your last. 

[queenie]

Oh my god you guys <3

[Dusty15]

On May 18, 2016 at 10:32 PM, queenie said:

"Are you going to tell me what happened this morning or am I going to practice Legilime-- oh, damn it-- inxst ingst ngxt nngxtCHOO!"

"Didn't quite stick the landing on that last one," Sirius said finally, voice cracking a bit.

Haha aww poor sweet Remus. This is so cute

On May 18, 2016 at 10:32 PM, queenie said:

It was a nice moment. Well, it would have been a nice moment, probably, for someone without hayfever. All too soon, the desperation of kissing Sirius gave way to the desperation of needing another sneeze or-- more probably-- another sneezing fit, and he had to flail about in what was probably a rather foolish fashion, clawing and pushing at Sirius's robes.

Too good! <3

As the world's biggest sneezy!Lupin fan, I (of course) loved this all! Thanks for sharing

[Sophie<3]

Sorry I'm so late! I can only echo what the others have said. What a lovely ending to such a sweet story!  Well done!