Quiet On Set [It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia/Charlie Day]

[DrPepper]

So I love It's Always Sunny and I especially love Charlie Day + his voice. I've always imagined he has a great sneeze because of how high pitched he is. Rather than writing the character Charlie Kelly sick, I wanted to write Charlie Day sick, and what challenges that would present on a day when they're trying to shoot the show. I plan to update this in installments (although I don't know how regular I'll be about it) but anywayyy here you gooo:

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As Charlie turns off his car, he has never wished he had a later call time quite so desperately. Waking up at five to get to the lot by six was never pleasant, and downright shitty if he didn’t get enough sleep, which, today, was very much the case. 

As much as he doesn’t want to acknowledge it because of what it might mean for his ability to perform today, Charlie is hyper aware of how scratchy his throat feels, as well as the tingly numbness building in his sinuses. He grabs his script and shot list, pulls on a hoodie, and treks across the parking lot to the set. A small portion of the crew is already there setting up cameras and equipment. Normally he’d go around greeting and chatting with the crew and check in with the AD, but he’d really rather not hear how bad his voice might sound, much less go around advertising it to everyone.

He’s relieved to see that neither his fellow cast members nor the makeup artist have arrived yet. He pours himself a coffee from the craft services table and heads over to the hair and makeup area, consisting of a row of chairs facing a long mirror framed by blindingly bright lights, which Charlie finds the cord for and unplugs.

He sits down and leans back in his chair. The warm coffee makes his throat feel a little better. He tries to count how many scenes he has to be in today, but he can’t see his shot list in the darkness. It’s nice though, the dark and relative quiet, especially compared to the chaos of the shooting day he’s about to be sucked into. Even thinking about it makes him tired. The chair is comfortable enough that he’s able to sink into a sort of hypnagogic half sleep. 

“Charlie? You awake?”

He jerks back into alertness. The makeup artist, Tawny, hovers over him in a veil of brightness — he must not have noticed her turn the lights back on. He squints up at her, offers a hoarse, “Hey, yes, sorry.” 

“Sorry to wake you, kitten. I can come back in a few minutes if you need.”

She radiates a warm, sort of maternal energy, a welcome presence in their male-dominated crew. He didn’t know whether she called everyone ‘kitten’ or just him.

“No, no—“ he clears his throat, “I’m up, I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m damn good; my kid’s on a week long field trip.”

“Nice.”

She gestures to the makeup box. “Mind if I get started? Rob and Kaitlin are running late so I have to get you and Glenn out of the way first.”

“Go right ahead.”

She undoes the buckles on the massive box, locates some sort of complexion cream and starts to dab it under his eyes with a little sponge thing. 

“Are you feeling okay?”

If there’s anyone he should admit feeling poorly to, it’s his makeup artist. “I think I’m getting a cold or something. Is it that obvious?”

“The dark circles don’t lie. But we can hide it.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, we’ll at least make you look healthy.”

“You’re an angel,” he says, clearing his throat again, “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Tawny dips a brush into powder and begins to dust his face with it, igniting a sudden, aggravating tickle.

“Holdon,” he rapidly ducks into his elbow with an abrupt, “IDZsshhoo!”

She pulls back, laughing, “Bless you.”

“Excuse me, sorry,” he sniffs. She tentatively starts again with the powder, but immediately his eyebrows knit together in irritation. He holds up a finger and she stops, watches him blink and pitch forward into his elbow with an urgent sneeze.

“Hih-itchhooo…” 

“Bless you.”

He hardly has time to come up for air before he sneezes again, attempting to muffle the sound in his sleeve, “Mmpfshoo!”

“Aww, kitten. It’s gonna be a long day, isn’t it?”

[Grasper]

Oh this is wonderful! I just love the little pet names Charlie and Tawny have for each other, it makes it that much cuter.

And of course I love the sneezes! I can't believe there's been 10 seasons of Its Always Sunny and not one Charlie sneeze?

(Maybe season 11 will change that hehe...)

[AnteatersOnParade]

Love this! And love the show. Do you know that the waitress in the show who Charlie is in love with (who hates him) is actually is wife in real life? Plus Dee and Mac, I think? Are also married. 

[InsertNameHere]

This is so good! I really hope you continue this someday