Danny Zuko so NOT GREASED

[Rook]

AH YES THE GREASE FIC NO ONE ASKED FOR BUT EVERYONE WANTS (AARON TIVET IS MY DANNY) I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN GREASE BEFORE.

To say Danny Zuko was out of it was a understatement. "Yooooooooooooo Zuko you look like a dead cat" "Danks man" HNCHX (dear god someone help me)

[Artemis]

That's cute batman.

[GoldenOwl]

This the most riveting fic I've ever read! Nice work.

[Rook]

why thank you I want to make it genuine to the characters but i dont know what i am doing

[luckyleprechaun]

This is nice! I hope you continue!

(As a bit of constructive criticism, might I suggest you make the next part longer? )

[Rook]

This is nice! I hope you continue!

(As a bit of constructive criticism, might I suggest you make the next part longer? )

I want to continue but I don't know how I am going to write danny at all or caring Greasers and Sandy

[luckyleprechaun]

This is nice! I hope you continue!

(As a bit of constructive criticism, might I suggest you make the next part longer? )

I want to continue but I don't know how I am going to write danny at all or caring Greasers and Sandy

Not sure if I can help you there

Don't worry! You'll figure it out! I have faith in you.

[Rook]

This is nice! I hope you continue!

(As a bit of constructive criticism, might I suggest you make the next part longer? )

I want to continue but I don't know how I am going to write danny at all or caring Greasers and Sandy

Not sure if I can help you there

Don't worry! You'll figure it out! I have faith in you.

Oh you are lovely would anyone be offended if I added my own twist

[luckyleprechaun]

This is nice! I hope you continue!

(As a bit of constructive criticism, might I suggest you make the next part longer? )

I want to continue but I don't know how I am going to write danny at all or caring Greasers and Sandy

Not sure if I can help you there

Don't worry! You'll figure it out! I have faith in you.

Oh you are lovely would anyone be offended if I added my own twist

I wouldn't

[Arty]

I'm not too familiar with this fandom though I know of some, adding your own twist is good. Plus it's fanfiction for a reason. May I suggest something, it's a good idea and will help you, to write the whole story or at least a chapter down on paper. This can help the ideas flow and come together. It's like what I do when I sketch something before doing the final piece.

[Rook]

I'm not too familiar with this fandom though I know of some, adding your own twist is good. Plus it's fanfiction for a reason. May I suggest something, it's a good idea and will help you, to write the whole story or at least a chapter down on paper. This can help the ideas flow and come together. It's like what I do when I sketch something before doing the final piece.

O: SENPI HAS NOTICED OMG HI ARTY and i would type it down but i am embarrassed

[Artemis]

Why it's creative good for the body.

[Rook]

The dreaded someone finds out my fetish on accident moment

[Artemis]

Ooh I have a solution to that. As you can see I'm really young so I only just figured out what a fetish was but I wrote about it before them. I used one of those claspy notebooks and hid it as soon as I was doe . The one time someone got into it, they assumed it was just practice.

[Arty]

O: SENPI HAS NOTICED OMG HI ARTY and i would type it down but i am embarrassed

*blushes madly* Awww... if you have a journal or a notepad even a phone or personal laptop can help you.

[Rook]

8) I shall try

[Artemis]

Don't worry about it, take your time and enjoy the process.

[Rook]

ALL HAIL SNEEZY DANNY ZUKO

Danny man you look like hell” “Danks Niki” I the boys flanked me which allowed a brief respite, hmchft hrsh! I felt sonny run his hand down my back GOD BLESS YOU SMARTASS ITALIEN “Look here girls, the boys are playing ringa-round “Shadup Rizzo” I groweled, then I felt a cool hand on my forehead “Oh Danny your burnin up.”Sandcastle I am fine I promise.” I gave a grin come with me and the boys to the shop and I’ll teach you to drive Lightning” “sure Dan-on-demand” Then Rizzo sprayed perfume and I lost it. HRSHOOOOOOOO ATCHOOOOOOOOOOO RSHOOOOOOOOOOO while the sneezes tore through me I felt Sandy and Niki lead me away. “shhhh I gotcha dan” KRSHOO kshoooo heshooooooooo cheiew! “Done man” “yeah remember Zuko’s burn like fire and dode go oud” “sure come on lets go.” "I felt the boys gather round me Niki pulling me to his chest and the rest of the boys just giving their silent support. hh-hhhh-hhhh All the girls go wild for....HASHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Drese Lighding.

[Garnet]

Hi batmansgirl, I'm not sure if "dear god someone help me" was a rhetorical plea or not, so hopefully this constructive criticism isn't unwarranted!

First off, it would help a lot if you divided your writing up into paragraphs. You should create a new one whenever someone new speaks, when there is a change in topic, etc. A lot of this is a little subjective (although I'm sure English majors would argue otherwise) but anything is better than a big block of text with multiple characters talking.

Second, it might help to describe some details like who is talking (especially when there are more than two characters in a scene), where they are, what X and Y characters are wearing or look like, etc. I feel like you write pretty stream-of-consciousness, and that's fine, but all of these things contribute to a good story! It might help to read some of your favorite authors (fetish or otherwise) and see how they construct a story, then compare it to your own. I think we both know that two or three sentences isn't quite a chapter

Also, I see that you've got the lingo and dialogue down, which is great! I haven't seen the Grease revamp but I was big into the original and stage versions back in the day, and your nicknames seem very on-point with the vibe. They just need a context to help the reader understand what's going on. Like in the first installment, who is talking to Danny?

Keep practicing, though, and pushing yourself outside your comfort zone! The second part was already much longer and more detailed, so I hope you continue to improve.

[Rook]

Hi batmansgirl, I'm not sure if "dear god someone help me" was a rhetorical plea or not, so hopefully this constructive criticism isn't unwarranted!

First off, it would help a lot if you divided your writing up into paragraphs. You should create a new one whenever someone new speaks, when there is a change in topic, etc. A lot of this is a little subjective (although I'm sure English majors would argue otherwise) but anything is better than a big block of text with multiple characters talking.

Second, it might help to describe some details like who is talking (especially when there are more than two characters in a scene), where they are, what X and Y characters are wearing or look like, etc. I feel like you write pretty stream-of-consciousness, and that's fine, but all of these things contribute to a good story! It might help to read some of your favorite authors (fetish or otherwise) and see how they construct a story, then compare it to your own. I think we both know that two or three sentences isn't quite a chapter

Also, I see that you've got the lingo and dialogue down, which is great! I haven't seen the Grease revamp but I was big into the original and stage versions back in the day, and your nicknames seem very on-point with the vibe. They just need a context to help the reader understand what's going on. Like in the first installment, who is talking to Danny?

Keep practicing, though, and pushing yourself outside your comfort zone! The second part was already much longer and more detailed, so I hope you continue to improve.

thanks so much. I actually just got a new laptop so I am trying to figure everything out and the dear god thing was a mix of me and Danny both begging for help xd

[Artemis]

That's really cute.

[iluvemojis]

Yesyesyesyes GREASE!!!! Thank you X100!!!!

[Rook]

Yesyesyesyes GREASE!!!! Thank you X100!!!!

your so welcome and there is more

[Rook]

I AM INSPIRED AND MY BRAIN IS DEAD SO LETS A GO!

(later at gym) Ugh I feel like death i hope sandy doesn't catch this. "ZUKO!" "ZUKO!" "Yes sir" "START RUNNING FIVE LAPS!" I took off in a light jog Better get it over with, I am sure the guys will make me feel better later" HMCHF! HRSHX! ATCHOO HNCHXXX! clamping a hand over my nose I grabbed a tissue from one of the guys on the team. I blew my nose loud and hard as I ran, tossing it into a passing bin I continued to run feeling lightheaded until....."DANNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' I smacked the ground hard. (Kenickie) "MOVE DANG IT PEOPLE MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!' I shoved them out of the way dropping to my knees I felt Danny's pulse which was rapid and hard. "Mnh Nicky wass goin on?" 'Nothing buddy" I lifted Danny easily carrying him to the garage and I killed with a glare at every gawkier. Once we got to the garage we got to work making danny comfortable, Then Sandy came barrling in. "Oh danny." She then created a cool compress and wiped his brow, "MNHG cold andy issss to cold" "Shhh danny you have a high fever its ok you'll be ok." I felt a hand ghost over my chest and the smell of moter oil hang heavy in the air. hhhh-hhhhhhh-hhhhhhhhh then Sandy kissed my nose which triggered a heavy fit which I was able to stifle into Niki's chest and once he wrapped his arms around me I knew I didn't have to pretend anymore HRSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ATCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HESHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RESHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HETCHOOOOOOOOOOOOO ATCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HERSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HATCHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "bless you" I don't know why but i began to sob harshly, as Sonny's hands ran through my sweaty hair sandy and the greaser's craddled me and I fell asleep. "Goodnight greased charming I love you"

[Artemis]

That was really cute I think brain dead is good for you.... Haha