"Traditions" (The Wolf Among Us) - Secret Santa for Mr. Tea

[Anonymouse]

Well, howdy there! I'm thrilled to be Mr. Tea's Secret Santa as it gave me an excuse to write more TWAU/Fables stuff and big, wolfy sneezes. This is a three part gift fic celebrating the different holiday traditions of our favorite Fables. I'm not sure which canon I'm following... I'm more partial to TWAU but I will also be including some aspects from the novels in the next two parts. So I guess it's sort of a blend? Let me know if you spot any incontinuities you'd like me to fix. Here we go!

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I. Fall Festival

When the the Farm was founded over almost two-hundred years ago, Snow White took it upon herself to establish a new annual tradition. The Fall Festival was unique to the Farm, something the Fables who resided there could call their own. Bigby always saw it as a salve for the wounded egos of the Fables who were unable to continue their residence in Fabletown, due to their inability to blend in with the increasing number of Mundies who had taken up residence in New York City. At first the residents grumbled about the amount of money that went into the festival when most of them could not even afford basic glamours, but they grew to love the festival and looked forward to it every year.

Bigby was not fond of the festival. Typically he did everything he could to avoid it. But since he and Snow became closer this past year, she had asked him to help out. And being a sucker, he agreed. This year was especially important to her, as she wanted to help her fellow Fables take their minds off the gruesome happenings of the past several months.

“No, not there,” she said, as Bigby hoisted the hay bale back onto his broad shoulders. “Put it on top of that one.”

He set it on top of the other bale with a grunt, then looked to Snow for approval. She stood some distance back, her hand cupping her chin and her eyes narrowed as she analyzed the composition of the hay maze. She was the brains behind the design; all Bigby did was lift the heavy things.

“Perfect,” she said at last, allowing herself a small smile. Planning the festival was stressful, and she was more uptight than usual these past few weeks, but she seemed quite pleased to see her work finally coming together. “Just a few more over there,” she said, gesturing, “and we should be set.”

Taking a moment to catch his breath, Bigby glanced over his shoulder at the truck which held about four more bales. Colin was lounging in the bed in the shade of the bales, snoring and occasionally twitching a hoof. Smirking, Bigby made his way over to the truck, pausing to twitch his nose in an exaggerated manner.

“Oh boy,” he declared loudly enough that Colin woke from a seemingly sound sleep. “All this hay is starting to get to me…”

Colin peered up at Bigby with one eye open. He did not look amused. Bigby tried not to smile as he continued the act.

“I think… huh… I might have t-to… h!- ehh… h’HEHH...”

Fake though they were, his breaths were still powerful enough to make the truck sway. The pig opened both eyes now, and there was a look of terror in his expression that made it hard for Bigby to keep his composure.

“Hey!” Colin shouted, leaping to his hoofs and bounding out of the way. “Watch it!”

Bigby burst into laughter, earning himself a scowl from Snow. He did not realize she was still keeping an eye on him. “Behave yourself,” she warned, as Colin huddled behind her for protection.

“Hey, he was slacking,” Bigby protested, but Snow continued to glare at him, arms folded across her chest. “I was just playing around.”

“You make people nervous enough without all the huffing and puffing,” she said. “Just… try to be good. For today. For me.”

Bigby breathed out slowly through his nose and kept his mouth shut. Snow took this as compliance and returned to the apple bobbing station, where one of the blind mice had fallen into the water and was squeaking for some assistance. Colin trailed close behind on her heels, throwing the occasional nervous glance over his shoulder at Bigby. Bigby contemplated making a scary face but chose to follow Snow’s orders, instead turning back to the truck for the last components of the hay maze.

Kneeling on the edge of the truck, he lifted the largest bale out of the bed and propped it on his shoulder. He steadied himself, then decided he could manage a second block. Even in his human form, the 800+ pound bales were a breeze to carry. Balancing two bales on his back, he walked slightly hunched over to the nearly complete hay maze. Snow was still preoccupied with the festival games, so Bigby tried to remember on his own where she had wanted the last few hay bales.

While he was contemplating his placement options he felt some dusty residue float down from the bale, brushing lightly, almost imperceptibly, against his cheek. These bales were not as tightly composed as the others, and even as Bigby stood still small bits of hay and grains tumbled out periodically over his face and back. He shifted his feet, setting one bale down for the time being and readjusting the position of the other on his back. This stirred up even more of the organic debris. Bigby could feel the microscopic bits of hay beginning to infiltrate his nose. He sniffled involuntarily, nostrils widening and drawing in even more of the dust.

“Shit,” he coughed, dropping the other bale where he stood and bringing a knuckle up to suppress the fledgling tickle before it could grow.

The impact of the hay bale hitting the ground set up a cloud of the dust that had settled at his feet. He coughed again, causing the bales closest to him to rustle slightly in the resulting gust. Even though the tears developing in his eyes he could see some of the Fables nearby stop what they were doing to watch him nervously.

Usually, with enough warning, Bigby could excuse himself to a more secluded area to take care of business. It was only a short distance to the woods from the farm entrance, but Bigby was frozen in place, paralyzed by the steadily developing urge to sneeze. He could hear Snow say his name behind her, a slight waver to her voice, but he could not turn to look at her. His eyes began to slide shut as his nostrils and mouth opened wider, drawing in breath after breath, each one larger than the last. They were becoming so powerful that the bales of hay began sliding closer to him, the composition of the maze becoming gradually more distorted. His expression crumbled just as steadily, face elongating as his mouth stretched into a wide yawn, every sharp tooth on display for all to see, all the while his breathing becoming more ragged and vocal.

“Hehhhhhh…” Two of the hay bales that were placed on top of others toppled over, then slid backwards with his powerful exhale. “h’ohh… he-HUHHHhhhh…”

The Fable who found themselves in the danger zone quickly hurried to safety. They murmured amongst themselves in fear and awe as their biggest, baddest resident drew in a seemingly endless breath, his chest swelling and nearly bursting through his flannel shirt as his lungs expanded to accommodate the air. Bigby managed to pry his eyes open for just long enough to make sure the coast was clear before releasing an enormously destructive sneeze.

“hh’ASSHHCHHHHHHhhhhhuuoooo!”

The hay bales burst as if they were stuffed with bombs that had all detonated at once. The maze became a chaotic swirl of airborne grass and hay. Bigby caught a glimpse of the destruction before his eyes fluttered shut again, but this time he enough control over his body to lift his hand and pinch his nostrils, releasing a comparatively smaller set of stifled sneezes. “Hnkssh! kn’tch! … huehh… HH-kNXcht!-ahhhhh...”

Bigby nonchalantly tugged a handkerchief from his pocket, giving his nose a wipe. The other Fables stood speechless around him, once again reminded of the great strength and power of the Big Bad Wolf. When he was certain he was finished he glanced back at Snow, who looked angry and sad and amused all at once.

“Sorry,” he said, not sure what else to say.

“The hay maze was never really that popular anyway,” Snow said, but he could tell that she was disappointed.

“There’s still time to make another,” Bigby said.

“Though I would recommend not letting Bigby help out anymore,” Colin added bitterly.

“No,” Snow said, tapping her finger against her chin and looking at Bigby with a sparkle in her eye. “No, I have a better idea… a new activity for the festival...”

Bigby spent that Fall Festival and every one thereafter begrudgingly providing wolfback rides to the other Fables. He took them through the meadows and the orchards, but avoided the barns and other areas where hay was plentiful.

Edited December 24, 2015 by AnonyMouse

[Mr. Black Cherry Berry Tea]

AHH!! Thank you SO MUCH. This is brilliant. I've been longing for some more TWAU/Fables and this was magnificent. I need to write you a full appreciation of it but I just wanted to quickly say that this is AMAZING and I really enjoyed it and can't wait to read more! Thank you!

[countless]

[Rook]

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGBY FLAILS IN JOY DEAR KING COLE I LOVE IT (I AM TWAU TRASH ;D)

[LP]

Haha, nice story.

Found it funny how Bigby was messing with Colin, I love their friendship.

[Anonymouse]

Here is part two! I'm sorry it took so long. We're still not celebrating any wintery holidays just yet, just the Fables form of Thanksgiving. They did have their own pilgrammage of sorts, so I guess they would have something to celebrate that? Idk. This part has male and female sneezing, from Bigby and a pregnant Snow. I really hope you like it! There's still one more part to go so if you want me to do anything differently just let me know. I'll try to have more commentary about the sneezes in the next chapter.

Happy New Year! (I can still say it, it's still January)

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The air was filled with wonderful smells of food mingling together, none of which Snow could smell. Pregnancy rhinitis, Dr. Swineheart had called it; it was a Mundy term for getting really sneezy and stuffy in early pregnancy. Ha, early pregnancy. She felt huge... she was huge, and looked about forty weeks pregnant with twins, not her actual seventeen-ish weeks with... however many were in there. The doctor was having a hard time committing to an exact number, which was far from encouraging.

She had just added the chopped vegetables to the simmering broth and was stirring the soup when Bigby flung the front door open. He didn't mean to be obnoxious; sometimes he just forgot his own strength. Snow smiled at his return but then gasped at the sight of the dead foul in his clutches. Speechless, she could only watch as he dragged the turkey over to her pristine kitchen nook and slapped it onto the counter. It took her a moment to find her voice.

"Is that," she said, "a dead turkey on my counter...?"

"Freshly killed," Bigby said, with a hint of pride.

He was truly oblivious. "You're cleaning this counter thoroughly," she said, trying out her stern Mom tone. It could use some work.

"Of course I am," he said, giving her a kiss on the side of the head. "And I'll wash up the bones before I stash 'em away for later." Bigby liked to chew, occasionally, but Snow liked him to sanitize the bones first.

Wiping his hands on his jeans, he wrapped his arms around her belly. She cringed at the thought of his grimy paws on her clothing but decided this apron was overdue for a wash anyway. That would be another chore for Bigby, of course. She melted in his arms when he asked "How are you all doing?"

"I think we're fine," she said, stretching out of Bigby's embrace to grab the pepper grinder.

"You relax, Snow, I can handle dinner," he said tenderly, but she turned and fixed him with a glare.

"Bigby, I am pregnant, not useless."

He put up both hands in surrender and sidled back to his treasured turkey. She smirked, glad she didn't have to tell him twice. As he began tearing out fistfuls of feathers she turned to look at him, resting her free hand on her belly as the other gripped the wooden spoon. "How are you doing?" she asked.

"Much better," he said gruffly.

Bigby was recovering from one of his weeks-long colds. He got them once every few decades, and this one was a doozy. He had the spellweave, of course, which made their lives much easier (and safer), but he still chose take to the woods every now and then to sneeze more freely and remind the creatures that lived there who was boss. He gave a clear sniffle to prove he was truly feeling better and returned to his turkey.

Satisfied, Snow lifted a spoonful of soup, stopping it just below her chin so she could blow on it gently. Unpursing her lips, she gave it a sniff, then a taste. It was still too bland. Reaching for the pepper shaker, she shook some of the black grains over the simmering vegetables. It left a faint bite in the air, not much different from the crisp autumn weather outside. The sharp scent of black pepper soon burned through the congestion in her sinuses. She drew in a sudden breath, inadvertently inviting more prickly flecks of pepper into her nostrils. They grew larger and trembled for a moment, as if in preparatiom to expel the grains, then relaxed to their normal size with a heavy sigh.

Not two seconds later Snow gasped again, the shifting weight of her belly testing the elastic fabric of her sweater as her body filled with air. Bigby gave her fuller breasts an appreciative glance as they rose and fell with erratic breaths. Her sneezes were never in much of a hurry, but they were even more delayed and torturous when she was sick. "Awww, did you catch my cold?" Bigby teased.

All she could do was shake her head back and forth, as if deciding where to aim. Her hands found themselves in a similar predicament, not sure where they would be needed most. Bigby knew she would consider it impolite and unsanitary not to cover, even though it didnt bother him either way, especially since he was already sick. The fingers of her left hand curled around her nose, her right hand hovering indecisively near her belly before bracing against the oven instead. With nothing but a wall and an few inches of space to accommodate at least forty-five inches of belly on her right and a pot of stew at her twelve oclock, Snow really had no choice but to turn towards Bigby. Fortunately he was prepared with a handkerchief; she risked letting her left hand wander to grab it, briefly exposing her trembling lips and flaring nostrils. "Oh, w-wow, that tih-hih!-- tihhh'HH-!"

Folding the cloth over her nose and pinning it there with both hands, she let her head tip back back a bit. Her breaths become deeper and more urgent, the handkerchief fluttering in the gusts. Bigby could have sworn he saw the pepper shaker slide an inch or two across the counter in the wake of her heavy exhalations, but decided his eyes were playing tricks on him. Until Snow gave a great, heaving sigh that ruffled his hair and his clothing. The handkerchief was lowered just enough that the wolf could see her dilated nostrils peeking over the top like two black suns on a horizon. Her features went slack and her lungs filled with air, everything stirring around her as the sensation culminated in a single, potent sneeze. "ahh'tCHHHhhhhhhhuue!"

Bigby did not expect what happened next. The turkey slid across the counter just as the pepper had, nearly ending up on the floor. His reflexes allowed him to catch hold of the leg before the bird could drop, but he noticed it was missing a few feathers. He could hear Snow winding up to another sneeze, each breath more vocal and desperate than the last. When Bigby glanced back at her she was cresting into another hefty sneeze that left the handkerchief in tatters and the turkey mostly featherless.

"hh'SCHHHHHhhhhhhhhhuuu!!"

Bigby watched in awe as the massive explosion tore the feathers from the skin of his fresh kill. And she still had at least one more in her. He was too busy looked for what to secure next to consider how or why she was sneezing so violently. Snow had chosen to support her belly this time, leaving balance to chance as she grabbed her nose with her other hand. While she had every intention of stifling she felt her grip weaken at the last second, her nostrils expanding rapidly against her fingers and pushing them apart. The result was a breathy but full-sounding "ehshHHHIIEEUUUU!! that made her stumble backwards. The bird lost the last of its feathers and the pepper mill took a swan dive off the side of the counter. The glass shattered, releasing a dark cloud of finely ground pepper into the air.

Bigby felt his own nostrils flare immediately, seized by a powerful instinct beyond his control. Through the haze of pepper, feathers, and wrenching discomfort he could see Snow struggling to pull it together. Bigby patted his pocket but he did not have the spellweave on him. He still wasn't very used to carrying it around with him. Luckily Snow was one step ahead, making her way with some difficulty over to the dining table. The spellweave rested on its surface in a neatly folded square, its fabric shimmering like gems in the firelight. She took it, shook it open into fullness in one graceful gesture, and braced herself to catch a pair of sneezes. "ehp-TCHhhieww! -- hehuhpTCHHeuw!"

Bigby reached out his hand and shook it urgently, a silent plea for the spellweave. Snow fought off a third sneeze and made her way back over to him as quickly as she could. Fingers pressed against her nostrils to dam the sneezes back, she surrendered the charmed handkerchief to its rightful owner. The wolf swelled with a lusty breath, a shiver of anticipation running the length of his body as his lips drew back in a sneer.

"huhhh hhUHHHHHhhh HRUHh'ARSCHHHHHHHHHHOOOO!!" His gasp was enormous - Snow actually felt as if she were being pulled towards his gaping mouth - but the resulting sneezes were even bigger.

"HRSSHHHHHHHAAAHHHH! HUH'RHFSHHHHHHHH! HHFFSHHHHHHH!!"

Snow braced herself out of instinct, but the brunt of the fit was contained in the special cloth. It was still loud, and she swore she felt her hair jostle just a bit in the aftermath, but the kitchen was still in one piece and the boiling water was safely on the stove top.

"Gesundheit," she said, when he emerged from the crumpled fabric with a shake of his head.

He gave her a bleary half-smile. "Danke... you okay?"

Strangely enough, she felt fine. A little winded (heh), but no pain. The cubs were kicking away in there, angry at the disturbance. "I'm okay now." She sniffled wetly, seeking out another handkerchief for herself. I'm not sure where that came from, but I am carrying the offspring of the son of the North Wind, so nothing surprises me. I found myself craving raw meat the other day."

"Well, I've got some raw meat right here," Bigby said, smirking as he gave the naked turkey a poke. "Real nice lady took all the feathers off for me, too."

Snow laughed, then watched as he tucked the spellweave into his pocket. It was looking like she might have to get a couple extras around here.

Edited January 29, 2016 by AnonyMouse

[Mr. Black Cherry Berry Tea]

I have been trying, for well on weeks now, to write you one of those fantastic detail-by-detail break down comments, which you so richly deserve, to list everything that I love about this story. But I have failed, because I am terrible at writing those comments, and I have let FAR too much time pass not responding to this wonder of a story. This second part was FANTASTIC, totally unexpected with Snow's sneezes indirectly causing Bigby's (and um... that was really hot.) And the first part was also BRILLIANT, especially the freaking fake out sneeze... nothing better than a ginormous sneezer who knows he's a ginormous sneezer. Ugh and the bits about his colds, and sneezing out in the woods and showing the woodland creatures who's boss and just everything is really beautiful here, and I am SO SO SO glad I got you for secret santa because this story is AMAZING. So, very sorry that it has taken me roughly 300 million years to comment, and still not even completely properly, but just know that this is beautiful and I love it and thank you.