Bluetooth (An Office fic, Jim)

[Zwee]

Hey guys! So, I have like 20 stories I've written for The Office (which is totally not mine) burning holes in my computer, and I decided to finally finally post one of them. I fell in love with this show about a year ago and immediately wrote a ton of SFF material for it and it's been begging for an outlet, so... I hope someone can appreciate it!

This is set in sometime in Season 5, after art school and before the wedding. There's a reference to S5E7 in which Jim and Pam spend every moment together via Bluetooth. This is a much later follow up of sorts, I suppose.

This is a oneshot posted in two parts because it's loooong. Hope you enjoy!!

*~*~*~*

When Pam had gone to visit family in Connecticut for a week for a funeral, Jim had dug out his old Bluetooth from when Pam was in art school. At first, Pam had resisted, saying that wearing it constantly brought up too much drama, but Jim insisted, saying he would get far too bored all alone the upcoming week until eventually, Pam agreed. She’d wanted Jim to come with her for the visit, but he knew they could use all the money they could get for their upcoming wedding, and a week-long vacation didn’t seem like the best option for them. She’d reluctantly agreed, saying they could spend a week together on their honeymoon.

Jim woke up alone the day before Pam’s return with a sore throat and a headache. He missed Pam. Surviving this week without her at the office had been incredibly difficult. They hadn’t had a chance to use their Bluetooths yet because one of them was always doing something that wouldn’t lend well to a 24-hour phone call. First, she’d gone to the ceremony, and then he’d had an important sales call, and she’d been spending a lot of time with her family.

Finally, they agreed that Friday would be perfect, as she had no important plans and neither did he. He called Pam as soon as he woke up, just to hear her sleepy voice answer on the other line.

“Morning.” She sounded as if she wasn’t fully awake.

“Morning.” He said, grinning.

“I need coffee.”

“I poured you a cup.” Jim said, letting the dark liquid splash into the mug so she could hear.

“Oh, how thoughtful of you,” she murmured. “I can’t wait to drink it tomorrow when I get home.”

Jim headed to work on time, liking that he could talk to Pam on the drive over just like always. He tried to hide his cold symptoms from her, knowing she would only worry, but it grew increasingly difficult when the bitter winter wind nipped at his sensitive nose and froze his aching lungs. He was incredibly grateful to get inside, away from the rain that would surely turn to sleet before the day was out.

He had barely sat down at his desk when Dwight began to speak, without looking up. “Jim. I see you’re wearing the Matsahashi B400 again.”

Jim gave Dwight a surprised look. “How did you even see that?”

“I have perfect vision.”

“Wow, so you have eyes like a hawk?” Jim asked, grinning.

“No. I am a man, I am the superior species. My eyes are better than any bird’s eyes.”

“So your vision is 20/20, then?”

“Yes.” Dwight looked self-satisfied.

“Hm.” Jim nodded, then said, “I have 20/5 vision.” Jim could hear Pam giggling on the other line.

“Impossible.” Dwight, his head still bowed over his work. “No human beings have vision that accurate.”

“Yeah, I got tested recently and the optometrist was really impressed.” Jim shrugged.

“You’re lying.” Dwight said, visibly incensed.

Jim sighed. “I wish I was. It gets kind of annoying to see so well all the time.”

“Oh my god, tell him you can read his parking ticket from here!” Pam exclaimed.

“I could look outside the window and read the parking ticket on your car from here. It’s distracting.” Jim said, trying not to smile.

Dwight’s head shot up. “I have no parking ticket.”

Jim squinted. “Yeah, I guess you forgot your parking pass today, the guy is sticking it under your wiper right now…”

Dwight stared at Jim intensely for three seconds, then leapt out of his chair and raced out the door.

“He’s running to the parking lot now. Well done, Beesley; that was a good one!”

Pam giggled. “If he tries to test your vision, tell him the doctor gave you special contacts to see like normal people so you’re not distracted all the time!”

Jim grinned. “You are devious today!”

“I miss you guys!” Pam explained.

“I miss you too.” Jim’s smile faltered a little. “Hh-hey Pam I’m gonna—Hh-HihhTSCHhuhh! Hihh’KTSCHhhew!”

“Bless you, Jim.” Phyllis said.

Pam was laughing on the other end. “Oh my god, there’s another thing I miss about you! Your cute sneeze! I wish I could be there to see your face get all scrunched up like a puppy!”

Jim chuckled. “What, no bless you?”

“Bless you!”

“I’m sorry. You lost that one. Phyllis got there first.”

“Dammit! I’ll have to try harder to get the next one.”

“How do you know there will be another one?”

“There better be! Come on, Jim. Sneeze. You know you want to. You were just outside in the chilly air; that always makes your nose all sensitive. Sneeze!”

“Hmm… I don’t know, I don’t really feel like it right now.” Jim actually did feel like it, his nose was still tickling, but he didn’t want to give Pam the satisfaction.

“Sneeze, Jim! You’re going to, I can tell. I guess I’ll just wait for the inevitable.”

“Okay… I guess you’ll be waiting a long time…” Jim tried to sound confident but his breath was hitching just slightly. He brought his hand up to his nose.

“Are you rubbing your nose right now?”

Jim dropped his hand. She knew him too well.

“Hey, Jim I think you should look up at the ceiling. I think you might find something interesting up there.”

“Like a bright light?” Jim sniffled. “Nice try, Beesley.”

He heard her sigh in defeat. “Fine. What’s Dwight doing now?”

“Uh, he’s googling 20/5 vision.”

Dwight’s hand jumped toward the ‘X’ button. “I most certainly am not! And by the way, it’s extremely rare for any human to have better than 20/10 vision.”

Jim had stopped listening. His breath was hitching. He brought his cupped hands to his face just in time. “Hihh’TSCHHUHhh! Hehh’ESCHHOO!”

“Bless you!” Pam cried immediately. “I knew you would sneeze if I distracted you! I win!”

Jim laughed. “I’m glad to see my health is a game to you.”

“Oh, come on. It’s not like you’re sick or anything.”

“You don’t know that. It is raining today. It might snow.”

“Getting cold and wet doesn’t make a person sick, Jim. Not even you. It does make you sneeze, though. Which I think is adorable. So, get used to it.”

“That’s… abominable. You’re not allowed to find any part of me endearing. We can’t get married now.”

“I’m sure there’s one thing you find adorable about me.” Pam said, giggling.

“God, no. Not your laugh, not your messy bedhead, not the way you fill your cheeks with water before swallowing, definitely not the way you look when you’re sleeping. You disgust me on every level.” Jim couldn’t keep the smile from his voice.

“You two are sickening.” Dwight commented, rolling his eyes.

Pam laughed harder than ever. “Okay then. Well I hate the way you raise your eyebrows, and I hate that you make the best pancakes in the world, and I hate that you can do an Irish accent, and I definitely hate the way you sneeze. It’s terrible.”

Jim chuckled. “Well, tough luck because I think I have to… Hihh… Hehhihh… Hihh’TSCHhhuh! Huhh’ETSCHhhew! Hihh… Hihh’IITSCHhhuh!”

Pam couldn’t contain her giggles.

Jim sniffled, his nose still tickling. “Huhh… Huhh’kktsch! Hh’TSCHhh! Hh’IITSCHhuhh!”

“Bless you!” Pam gushed, still laughing. “Are you okay?”

“This is your fault isn’t it? You put a jinx on me when I wouldn’t sneeze for you.”

“Yep. You found me out.” Pam said.

“Okay, I’m not gonna make you listen to me blow my nose, however much you may want to, weirdo.” Jim took the earpiece out and left it on his desk, heading to the bathroom.

[Zwee]

When he returned, it didn’t take Pam long to notice his voice had grown a little stuffy.

“Seriously, are you getting sick?” She wanted to know.

“Ndope, I’b okay.” He sniffled congestedly.

“Hm. Whatever you say. I got my eye on you, Halpert.”

“I thidgk you meand your ear,” Jim commented, scrubbing at his nose with the back of one hand.

“Well my ear is telling me that somebody picked up a little cold somewhere,” Pam began. Jim laughed guiltily in response. “And that somebody is denying it because he doesn’t want his fiancée to worry about him while she’s away.”

“Add are you worried about bme?”

“Nope. Not even a little bit.”

Jim laughed. “Ooh, that’s pretty cold.”

“Seriously, Jim. If you’re sick, you should go home.”

“I’mb fine.”

“Uh huh.”

“Really.” He added.

“If you say so. Try to go the next hour without sneezing, and then we can talk.”

“Easy peasy.” Jim said, clearing his throat with a cough.

He couldn’t even make it ten minutes. By minute eight, his eyes were welling up, breathing erratic. He reached the tipping point before minute nine had even begun.

“Hh’KTSCHhhuhh! Oh, crap—Hhih’TSCHhhuhh! Hehhih… Hehh’KISHhhoo! Huhh’kktsch! Huhh’kitschhew!”

Pam couldn’t help herself. She giggled harder than ever at this. “Bless you, Jim!”

“Well, that didn’t work.” He muttered, amused at himself, albeit a bit sheepish.

“So, you ready to admit you’re sick yet?”

“Uh, nope. I’m still blaming your jinx.”

She laughed. “Well good, because if you are sick I would feel pretty bad for teasing you earlier. And it would be hard for me to not be there to take care of you.”

Jim decided to let the subject drop, wanting to spare his fiancee’s feelings. Dwight wasn’t as willing, however. He pestered Jim mercilessly to go home and stop subjecting the others to his weak germs. Jim ignored him.

His day was a whirlwind of annoyances, igniting the headache that had been lying dormant behind his sinuses. Dwight’s voice seemed especially loud, Michael was up to his usual antics (offended that everyone had gone to Andy’s play without him, he threw a fit, and then set up a meeting called ‘Inclusiveness in the Modern Workplace” and tortured them into telling him why he hadn’t been invited.) Andy wouldn’t stop singing the songs from the play in question—which wasn’t a musical. He was singing an acapella version of the background music—even after repeated attempts on Jim’s part to get him to quit, and Kelly and Ryan had a screaming match by the copier regarding Ryan’s shortcomings as a boyfriend and Kelly’s shortcomings as a person, which caused her to begin sobbing loudly and with reckless abandon.

By the end of the day, Jim was physically and emotionally exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to curl up in his empty bed and sleep until Pam returned. His cold symptoms were ravaging his body, leaving him shivery, weak, and achy, not to mention sneezing his head off.

Pam had definitely picked up on the fact that he was under the weather, adding sympathetic tuts to every ‘bless you’ and sighs of concern when he broke off coughing.

Finally, 5 o’clock came, and Jim rushed to get home, eager to escape the cacophonous chaos that his workplace could be.

He got in the door, kicked off his shoes, and dropped to the couch in a bout of shivers, sure his fiancée could hear his teeth chattering through the phone.

“Poor Jim.” She murmured soothingly. “Maybe you should just rest.”

“I’m okay,” he began, breath hitching. “We were gonna—hih!—w-watch West Wing, right? Hh’KTSCHhhuhh! Hehh’ESCHhhoo! Ugh, sorry, Bees.”

“Bless you. And don’t worry about it. You sound totally exhausted. Take a nap, you can call me back when you wake up.”

“Can you blame me? Michael was insane today.” He groaned, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch and wrapping up in it, too tired to make it to his bed.

“No. You are totally righteous in your exhaustion. Rest, babe. I’ll talk to you later.”

“You’re amazing.” He murmured sleepily. “I love you, Pam.”

“I love you too, Jim.”

He heard the click of her disconnecting and pulled the Bluetooth from his ear, falling asleep almost instantly.

He slept fitfully, waking up numerous times, choking on his own breath, or freezing his ass off. He longed for the thick comforter on his bed, but their bedroom seemed like miles away, and he was too dizzy and exhausted to get up.

The next time he awoke, it was to the sensation of a soft, cool hand against his forehead. His eyes fluttered open and fell upon a hazy vision of coppery curls glowing in the muted light from the lamp, illuminating her from behind like some sort of angel. A disbelieving smile touched his lips and he struggled to sit up, feeling bewildered and deliriously happy.

“Pam?” He rasped, suddenly aware of how painful his throat was.

“Hey.” She smiled back at him, helping him sit up against the couch. Her eyes shone with concern. “You sound wrecked.”

“I thought you were supposed to… hihh’ihh… Hihh-tsssshhew! Hehh’ETSSSHHhhew!” He twisted away clumsily to sneeze into his sleeve, and gave a groan.

She passed him the tissues, rubbing his back sympathetically. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you being so miserable here all alone, so I drove back early. You never take care of yourself anyway. Have you heard of NyQuil? Or… a bed?” She teased, kissing his cheek.

He couldn’t stop grinning. “You just like control.”

She swatted him playfully. “Is that any way to treat your fiancée who just spent 3 hours in the car to come take care of your miserable, cold-stricken ass?”

He kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Pam Beesely.”

“I love you too. Now, off to bed with you. And take this medicine.”

He did as he was told, muffling a flurry of helpless sneezes into his elbow as he went. She crawled into bed beside him after a few minutes, curling into his warmth and nestling against his body in her perfect way. That night, despite being sick, he slept better than he had all week.

*~*~*~*

The End! Tell me what you all thought! <3 And have a fantastic day/night!

[Ciuty80]

ohhh wow that was heartwarming!!!!

the teasing was cute! :drool:

i loved his sneezes!!!

and the caretaking, so nice!

is there more? i would love to read more!

[Sawyer]

Oh, I've missed you so much!

Did you know that The Office is my favorite show? Like, out of every show I've ever seen or been exposed to, this one is the best. I've seen it 14 times and I put it on when I'm sad or bored or want to relax. And there's so little good fanfiction for it in general, so I'm beyond thrilled that someone here has written a fic for it!

I think one of the reasons that not a lot of people write for this show is because it can be difficult to fully grasp and communicate all of the different personalities and corresponding types of humor of all the characters. But you did such an incredible job with it! All of the voices and actions were totally spot-on, as was the Jim/Pam dynamic!! And oh my god, I really loved her blessing him each time and teasing him while still being sympathetic. It's so light-hearted and sweet without being, like, fluffy or mushy, which is my favorite balance in the world!

Also, this paragraph:

His day was a whirlwind of annoyances, igniting the headache that had been lying dormant behind his sinuses. Dwight’s voice seemed especially loud, Michael was up to his usual antics (offended that everyone had gone to Andy’s play without him, he threw a fit, and then set up a meeting called ‘Inclusiveness in the Modern Workplace” and tortured them into telling him why he hadn’t been invited.) Andy wouldn’t stop singing the songs from the play in question—which wasn’t a musical. He was singing an acapella version of the background music—even after repeated attempts on Jim’s part to get him to quit, and Kelly and Ryan had a screaming match by the copier regarding Ryan’s shortcomings as a boyfriend and Kelly’s shortcomings as a person, which caused her to begin sobbing loudly and with reckless abandon.

Sooooo so funny, and exactly in tune with the atmosphere and style of the show! It's so perfect and well-written and exactly the kind of thing that I adore about all of your work. Thank you so much for writing this, and it's great seeing you around again!!

[HPG]

I love The Office and there are a serious lack of fics for it, so thank you for posting! I really enjoyed reading it.

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Shit that was so adorable!!!!!! <3

Please post the other stories you have on your computer. They'd be such lovely (and needed) contributions to the site.

And I agree with HarryPotterGeek, there is a serious dearth of Jim Halpert on this website...

[Zwee]

ohhh wow that was heartwarming!!!!

the teasing was cute! :drool:

i loved his sneezes!!!

and the caretaking, so nice!

is there more? i would love to read more!

Oh, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

I don't really have more for this, although I could whip something up. More likely I'll just post another story for The Office.

Oh, I've missed you so much!

Did you know that The Office is my favorite show? Like, out of every show I've ever seen or been exposed to, this one is the best. I've seen it 14 times and I put it on when I'm sad or bored or want to relax. And there's so little good fanfiction for it in general, so I'm beyond thrilled that someone here has written a fic for it!

I think one of the reasons that not a lot of people write for this show is because it can be difficult to fully grasp and communicate all of the different personalities and corresponding types of humor of all the characters. But you did such an incredible job with it! All of the voices and actions were totally spot-on, as was the Jim/Pam dynamic!! And oh my god, I really loved her blessing him each time and teasing him while still being sympathetic. It's so light-hearted and sweet without being, like, fluffy or mushy, which is my favorite balance in the world!

Also, this paragraph:

His day was a whirlwind of annoyances, igniting the headache that had been lying dormant behind his sinuses. Dwight’s voice seemed especially loud, Michael was up to his usual antics (offended that everyone had gone to Andy’s play without him, he threw a fit, and then set up a meeting called ‘Inclusiveness in the Modern Workplace” and tortured them into telling him why he hadn’t been invited.) Andy wouldn’t stop singing the songs from the play in question—which wasn’t a musical. He was singing an acapella version of the background music—even after repeated attempts on Jim’s part to get him to quit, and Kelly and Ryan had a screaming match by the copier regarding Ryan’s shortcomings as a boyfriend and Kelly’s shortcomings as a person, which caused her to begin sobbing loudly and with reckless abandon.

Sooooo so funny, and exactly in tune with the atmosphere and style of the show! It's so perfect and well-written and exactly the kind of thing that I adore about all of your work. Thank you so much for writing this, and it's great seeing you around again!!

Oh my god, Sen, I'm crying, you're so sweet. Sttooooppp, The Office is MY favorite show! I know I only just starting watching it a year ago, but I've already seen the whole series three times, and certain episodes more times than I can count. I watch it when I'm sick or sad. One night I was super anxious and scared (for reasons I honestly don't remember) and I just snuggled my computer and watched The Office for hours until I fell asleep.

I can't believe you think it's realistic for the show! That really means so so much!! Thank you! It is really hard to make stories funny, because most of my sneezefic is really hurt/comfort-y and less comedic, since that's generally what fits. But, I'm getting better at characterization the more I watch (I showed it to my boyfriend a few months ago and he's been watching it from the beginning, so that's been a fun journey) so hopefully that's right, even if it's not close to the hilarity that one episode contains.

I missed you too!! So so so incredibly glad you liked it! <3

I love The Office and there are a serious lack of fics for it, so thank you for posting! I really enjoyed reading it.

There really is a sad lack of Officefic on here. Probably because it's hard to write. But the stuff that is on here is pretty great, if rare! And I'm so so happy you enjoyed reading it!! Thank you!

Shit that was so adorable!!!!!! <3

Please post the other stories you have on your computer. They'd be such lovely (and needed) contributions to the site.

And I agree with HarryPotterGeek, there is a serious dearth of Jim Halpert on this website...

Wow! Thank you! Haha, I will look through the stuff I have and probably post another if I can find one I'm proud of.

There really is a lack of Jim Halpert. And he's gorgeous. And so funny. And John Krasinski is the most perfect person. We need more on here. Really.

[Vintagedarling]

This was SUPER CUTE!! The banter was spot on!! You did wonderfully on capturing the characters!! Honestly felt like I was watching an episode of the Office. Jim and Pam's interaction has always been a fav... Also, of course with a good splash of Dwight tossed in... AMAZING!!!

[ellwren]

This was great! So cute, and you got everyone's voices just right.

[Zwee]

This was SUPER CUTE!! The banter was spot on!! You did wonderfully on capturing the characters!! Honestly felt like I was watching an episode of the Office. Jim and Pam's interaction has always been a fav... Also, of course with a good splash of Dwight tossed in... AMAZING!!!

Wow! Thank you!! Wow!! I'm so so happy you thought it was spot on! Thank you thank you loads!! Glad you liked it. <3

This was great! So cute, and you got everyone's voices just right.

Thank you ellwren!! I'm happy to hear that you thought that! <3

Also hahahaha you guys, I realized a huge huge flaw with the beginning of the story, when Jim is teasing Dwight about his vision.

Obviously I know Dwight wears glasses, so he can't technically have 20/20 vision (or superior eyesight to hawks). I'm sure someone (if not everyone?) noticed, so thanks for sparing me the embarrassment of pointing it out. <3

[beatlelover22]

Oh my gosh, this was so adorable. Jim and Pam are my absolute FAVOURITE ahhh. You're a fantastic writer too, nice job!

[Zwee]

Oh my gosh, this was so adorable. Jim and Pam are my absolute FAVOURITE ahhh. You're a fantastic writer too, nice job!

Ahhh, thank you, lovely! They are my favorite too. <3 <3 <3 Oh WOW thank you so much, what a compliment!

P.S. Your signature is ADORABLE. Oh, Chris...

[RiversD]

Okay, I haven't even finished watching The Office yet (for reasons.) But this was super good!

You have that established-relationship back-and-forth teasing down, girl! Like, I couldn't even pick a part to quote, it was all so good. And A+ Dwight voice, too, technicalities of vision notwithstanding (and completely unnoticed, so much so that I was surprised by the idea when you pointed it out).

I really liked the sound you picked for Jim's sneeze. It suits him, and it suits Pam finding it cute.

Apropos of which, I enjoyed this snippet a lot:

and I hate that you can do an Irish accent, and I definitely hate the way you sneeze. It’s terrible.”


Jim chuckled. “Well, tough luck because I think I have to…

It's just a sweet moment.

I liked the trying-to-go-an-hour-without-sneezing bit too. For reasons.

His day was a whirlwind of annoyances, igniting the headache that had been lying dormant behind his sinuses.

Okay, this was a really good sentence.

You are totally righteous in your exhaustion.

Best. Line. best.

Basically everything about this made me either smile, giggle or awwwh, and I think that's great.

[Zwee]

Okay, I haven't even finished watching The Office yet (for reasons.) But this was super good!

You have that established-relationship back-and-forth teasing down, girl! Like, I couldn't even pick a part to quote, it was all so good. And A+ Dwight voice, too, technicalities of vision notwithstanding (and completely unnoticed, so much so that I was surprised by the idea when you pointed it out).

I really liked the sound you picked for Jim's sneeze. It suits him, and it suits Pam finding it cute.

Apropos of which, I enjoyed this snippet a lot:

and I hate that you can do an Irish accent, and I definitely hate the way you sneeze. It’s terrible.”

Jim chuckled. “Well, tough luck because I think I have to…

It's just a sweet moment.

I liked the trying-to-go-an-hour-without-sneezing bit too. For reasons.

His day was a whirlwind of annoyances, igniting the headache that had been lying dormant behind his sinuses.

Okay, this was a really good sentence.

You are totally righteous in your exhaustion.

Best. Line. best.

Basically everything about this made me either smile, giggle or awwwh, and I think that's great.

Oh my god, you're so amazing! Thank you so much!!

I just finished The Office (for the third time) with my boyfriend; you have to let me know when you finish it!! I criiiieeeedd. (Every damn time)

You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that you think it's authentic! And that you liked the sound I picked, because, as a very sound-oriented person, this is super important to me!

You are so so SO sweet, I hope you know everything you said made my day! <3

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Oh wow, I am waaaayyy late in discovering this, but this is adorable!! <3 thanks for sharing!

[Anonymouse]

Also super late and kicking myself for not reading this sooner! It reignited my love for this show and this couple all over again. Pam is adorable with her teasing and her blessings. And the two of them screwing around with Dwight, as always.

This part especially was SO JIM. He knows exactly what to say to push Dwight's buttons. Dwight always falls for those fake humblebrags.

“Yeah, I got tested recently and the optometrist was really impressed.” Jim shrugged.

“You’re lying.” Dwight said, visibly incensed.

Jim sighed. “I wish I was. It gets kind of annoying to see so well all the time.”

Like everyone else said, you were spot on with the characters' voices and their banter. I loved that little detail of Jim bring sensitive to the cold in the best possible way.

[Zwee]

Also super late and kicking myself for not reading this sooner! It reignited my love for this show and this couple all over again. Pam is adorable with her teasing and her blessings. And the two of them screwing around with Dwight, as always.

This part especially was SO JIM. He knows exactly what to say to push Dwight's buttons. Dwight always falls for those fake humblebrags.

“Yeah, I got tested recently and the optometrist was really impressed.” Jim shrugged.

“You’re lying.” Dwight said, visibly incensed.

Jim sighed. “I wish I was. It gets kind of annoying to see so well all the time.”

Like everyone else said, you were spot on with the characters' voices and their banter. I loved that little detail of Jim bring sensitive to the cold in the best possible way.

Aaagghhh thank you thank you thank you!!

That's amazing to hear, I'm so glad you thought it was realistic. <3 <3

Happy you liked it, too!

[ringsofsaturn]

oh wow, this is really well written! the characters sound really spot-on!!