Too Much For A Coincidence (SPN, Dean) - Giftfic for Gingerdean

[Anilkex]

Finally, a Dean story!

Gingerdean requested a tied up Dean, with a cold, and an allergy. I love complicated prompts, and this turned out to be an uncomplicated, ridiculous little ficlet.

xxxxx

For the hundredth time, Dean struggled in vain, against the ropes that held him tight.

He banged his head (mostly gently) against the wall, grunting when it made contact. His t-shirt was torn and filthy, which generally happens when you’re dragged across a concrete floor by your leg. Several tiny scrapes and bruises dotted his entire body, but the sting from those injuries weren’t foremost on his mind.

“Hehhhh...goddabbit…” Dean twisted his head as far as he could, bringing his shoulder up to meet his nose. “Hih’XGNHT!” Exhaling slowly, Dean sniffled miserably, his head still turned into his shoulder. Because he wasn’t done. He knew that from experience. “Heh’HRSHHCH! Fuck…” he whispered, trying like mad to rub his nose against anything to help with the itching and the running.

No luck.

One more head thunk, and he settled for making ridiculous faces - stretching his mouth, scrunching his nose - in an attempt to make the tickling stop.

It stopped, but Dean knew, it was temporary.

A draft flowed through his cell, and Dean shivered as the cool air hit his skin. He knew he was burning up from a fever, and logically speaking, cool air should feel good when you’re hot, right? But being tied up in a cold, damp cellar with a spectacular head cold wasn’t the best environment, so a draft only triggered a round of coughing, and, “Hp’TISHHyuu! HETSCHCH! KISHHCHH! HXGNGT!”

Sigh.

Head thunk.

Sam would figure out he was missing soon enough, and find him. Until then, Dean just wanted to blow his fucking nose and rub the goosebumps prickling all over his arms and neck. But you couldn’t blow your nose when your hands are tied behind your back.

You couldn’t even rub it adequately on your shoulder.

One time, he was kind of able to make contact, and get a quick swipe. It wasn’t much, and he was almost embarrassed at the relief it brought. At least it gave him hope that he could make it happen again.

“Hhh-KNGTCH! Good God...Sab...where are you? H’ihshchch!”

xxxxx

Some time later, Dean had no idea how much later, he heard screaming. The begging kind of screaming, from someone who really didn’t want to be there.

Join the club.

Dean sniffled and tensed his muscles, both as a defensive reaction and a poor attempt at warming up.

He was a multi-tasker at heart.

The door opened, and a woman was dragged inside. She kicked and screamed, and screamed even louder when she caught sight of Dean, tied up against the wall. At one point, she landed a kick in a sensitive area, and their captor howled.

Dean knew she was in trouble. “Hey! Hey, asshole! Leave her alone!”

That outburst earned him a snarl, but he was otherwise ignored. The thing grabbed the woman by the arm, her purse flew to the ground, and it left with her.

There was the sound of glass shattering, and a moment later, the screaming abruptly stopped.

Aw, shit.

Shuffling footsteps were heard, and then it was quiet.

Dean sighed, sagging against the ropes.

The tickling started up again in his nose, and he angrily growled at the universe. Before long, it got worse, teasing and dancing inside his sinuses, and he realized, with a little panic, that it wasn’t from his cold.

The smell of strong, cheap perfume started to fill the room. Dean put the pieces together, figuring out that the breaking glass was a bottle of the pungent shit, and he was now more screwed than before, which he didn’t think was even remotely possible.

“Hiiiiih-Hh’ehhhETSCHyuu! Hehh-ISHHH! Hhh-IHSCHCHuhh!” Dean pressed his face against his shoulder out of sheer habit - it didn’t matter whether he did it or not, he knew he wasn’t stopping. The irritation got worse as the smell got stronger. Add in the discomfort from his cold, and being tied up, and Dean pretty much gave up, sneezing endlessly against his shoulder.

xxxxx

Sam heard him before he found him.

“EHhh-TCHSHhuh!”

Fuck.

“Dean?!”

No answer.

Well, except, “Hh’ITSCHH!” But he was pretty sure it wasn’t really a reply.

Sam ran through the house, figuring there had to be a basement door somewhere, because all fucking creepy houses had a cold, damp basement where fucking creepy monsters hid their victims.

It was Lore 101.

Sam didn’t even know what this fucking creepy monster was. It walked on two legs, but most humans didn’t have three eyes and an extra set of teeth that extended from their heads. Still - it died when a bullet landed in the third eye, and the other five bullets buried themselves in its chest.

“Hhhh’Hp-TSHCHCH! Hh’ITSCHCH-uh! HRSCHCH’Uuu!”

Sam winced, and searched faster. Finally, in the pantry, was the mystery door. Yanking it open, Sam flew down the stairs, following the sounds of his brother’s sneezing.

And...holy fuck...the perfume. What the hell? Distracted by the strong scent, and the echoing, “HHeh’ETSCHCHYUUuu!”, he stumbled, grabbing at the wall to avoid hitting the floor.

Cursing, he looked down, and choked.

The remains of some woman lay strewn across the hallway.

Sam decided to shoot the thing again, right before burning it, just because.

“Hiiiihhhh-KISHHHNT!”

That one was close. “Dean!!!”

He heard a raspy, “Sab?” and almost sobbed with relief.

“I’m coming! Hang on!”

He found Dean’s cell and ran inside. The sight of his brother made his breath catch in his throat, as did the unbelievable reek of perfume.

Dean was in a chair, his hands tied behind his back. His shirt was torn, cuts and bruises covered his torso, and he shivered uncontrollably. Dean’s eyes were red and swollen, his nose streaming and twitching convulsively. He sneezed against his shoulder, barely able to take a breath.

Jesus…

Sam rushed over, murmuring, “I got you...I got you...it’s okay...hold on...lemme...fuck, that smell is just...Christ...okay...lemme cut these…” The second the ropes were cut, Sam pressed a bandana against Dean’s face.

It took a few seconds for Dean to bring his arms around, because they were so fucking sore, but when he did, he clutched the bandana to his nose, blew, and sneezed some more. Leaning heavily on Sam, he tried to catch his breath, only to start up again, each sneeze pushing him closer.

“That’s it - time to go. C’mon, Dean...lean on me…”

Dean sighed, nodded, and did just that.

xxxxx

In his haste to rescue Dean, Sam forgot the second part of Lore 101 - most fucking creepy monsters came in pairs who didn’t take kindly to hunters killing their mates.

Consequently, he didn’t notice the second one until it was too late.

“Why couldn’t it have chosen a different room?” Sam grumbled, trying to not breathe in the perfume.

Dean grunted a reply.

Sam tried to wriggle free, but it was a futile effort. Who knew that these things were capable of spitting out some sort of cocoony webby crap that hardened to a thick shell? Both boys were covered in it, up to their elbows, lying on the floor sort of facing each other.

Dean was just able to reach Sam’s shoulder, if he stretched, and Sam stretched. It helped...kind of.

Dean tried to warn his brother when he had to sneeze. Most of the time, it worked. Sometimes...well...

“Hih’tschh!”

It just happened.

In Sam’s face.

He closed his eyes in disgust, hitting his head against the concrete. “Dude! Aim for the shoulder!”

Dean sniffled, clearly exhausted and sick. “Sorry…” he mumbled, before sneezing pathetically in Sam’s shoulder, as directed.

Sam sighed, feeling like an asshole for snapping. He knew Dean couldn’t help it. The fever was taking its toll on his brother, sapping his strength and dragging him in and out of lucidity. Still, Sam wanted nothing more than to wipe his face, so he allowed himself a tiny pocket of irritation.

“Hihhh…fuh..fuck...Hhh’tschh! Hh’Chhh!” Dean paused long enough to groan. “Hp’tchhuu! Heh-Hh’atchh! *sniff* Please tell be Bobby kdows we’re here….”

“I told him, Dean.” Sam tried to be comforting and encouraging, but he wasn’t exactly being honest. Sure, he left all the information in the motel room, including the address, however it was on accident, not because he was smart enough to take one fucking minute (Jesus, he felt so stupid) to text or call or leave a note explaining that he decided not to wait for backup.

“Whed we get outta here, godda...godda sleep for a week.”

Sam nodded. “That’s sounds like a good idea, man. Just...sleep this off, okay?”

Dean nodded back, sniffling again, breath hitching. Sam inched his shoulder forward. “Here...c’mon, you know the drill.”

Sighing, Dean craned his neck and rubbed the tip of his nose against Sam, trying to stave off another fit. He dropped his head back to the floor with a sigh, his eyes red and tearing from the sneezing. “Cad’t...dot...wuh...work-Htchhh! Hxgnt! Hih’gxgntt! Ugh...working. *sniff* Where’s Bobby?”

Fuck, Sam couldn’t stand Dean like this. But he had no answers, so he simply pushed his shoulder forward, and resigned himself to being sneezed upon.

Dean groaned again. “Hihhhhh...Hehhhh...heh-tshchhuh!...owwww…”

“Christ, Dean, you’re killing me, here...you sound terrible.”

“I cahh...cad’t help it-’Chhht!”

“Maybe if we - “

Gunshots pierced the air, followed by something heavy falling down stairs, landing with a sickening thud at the bottom.

The door burst open, followed by a sigh. “You idjits.”

XX End XX

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Nyeehehehehehehehehhh!!!!!

This is a perfect masterpiece! I cant even quote anything because it would BE the whole thing!

Every sentence, the characterization, every sneeze! Omg the sneeze spellings! I just cant.

This was just pure perfection. Marvelously done!

[telltale]

Finally, a Dean story!

Gingerdean requested a tied up Dean, with a cold, and an allergy. I love complicated prompts, and this turned out to be an uncomplicated, ridiculous little ficlet.

Yay, a Dean story indeed! It made me so happy to see this! And yay to you for writing a thoroughly enjoyable fic in every way (the past where Sam was offering Dean his shoulder especially, just killed me) and yay to Gingerdean for such an awesome prompt. I love colds combined with allergies, and sick people being tied up, well, even better.

Anyway, thanks guys!

[daystar428]

Love sneezy Dean! Your sneeze and build up spellings were delicious great story and combo of allergies and cold, YUM!

[anna]

The tickling started up again in his nose, and he angrily growled at the universe. Before long, it got worse, teasing and dancing inside his sinuses, and he realized, with a little panic, that it wasn’t from his cold.

The smell of strong, cheap perfume started to fill the room. Dean put the pieces together, figuring out that the breaking glass was a bottle of the pungent shit, and he was now more screwed than before, which he didn’t think was even remotely possible.

“Hiiiiih-Hh’ehhhETSCHyuu! Hehh-ISHHH! Hhh-IHSCHCHuhh!” Dean pressed his face against his shoulder out of sheer habit - it didn’t matter whether he did it or not, he knew he wasn’t stopping. The irritation got worse as the smell got stronger. Add in the discomfort from his cold, and being tied up, and Dean pretty much gave up, sneezing endlessly against his shoulder.

XX End XX

My favourite bit

But wow this was a ride from start to finish. I saved it up to read this evening and it was definitely worth the wait! Love how you stretched it out and made both the boys get caught.

[Ketch_22]

I love this! Best part was you adding the perfume in there...allergies AND a raging cold?! It doesn't get better when it comes to Dean. If only they would film an actual episode like that!

[gingerdean]

Omg, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the ending!! Just when I thought it couldn't get any better....wowww. *fans self*

Sooo, I've already told you how amazingly AMAZING the first 2/3rds of this is (aaand I apparently have no rhyme or reason as to where I am posting my comments, sorry I'm all over the place!) So here is my list for the last part::

-Sam and Dean caught up in that web, with Dean sneezing all over Sam. Um...yeah. Total dream scenario. Seriously the best thing EVER.

-Sam offering Dean his shoulder for him to sneeze into it....guuuh. And Sam alternating between being grossed out and frustrated with Dean, and sympathetic and concerned. g'awww. I just love that.

-just THIS:

Dean nodded back, sniffling again, breath hitching. Sam inched his shoulder forward. “Here...c’mon, you know the drill.”

Sighing, Dean craned his neck and rubbed the tip of his nose against Sam, trying to stave off another fit. He dropped his head back to the floor with a sigh, his eyes red and tearing from the sneezing. “Cad’t...dot...wuh...work-Htchhh! Hxgnt! Hih’gxgntt! Ugh...working. *sniff* Where’s Bobby?”

-The hitching, and the BUILDUPS, and the spellings, and Dean being all woozy and out of it, and the every single thing about this...I love how you wrapped this up, and I was SO stoked to see more of this! Thank you so soooo much!

[Jota]

THE SPELLINGS. Plus this scenario is golden, sick, tied up, feverish and nonstop allergy-induced sneezing, I wish it was a real episode!! Loved it

[Anilkex]

Thanks for all the awesome reviews. I have 1-2 other Dean stories lined up...I feel like I've neglected him.

[telltale]

Thanks for all the awesome reviews. I have 1-2 other Dean stories lined up...I feel like I've neglected him.

YOU ARE A STAR I'M SO HAPPY.

I'm a Sam and Cas fan but I can only ever do one h/c character per fandom (idek, one of those weird fetish things) and for this fandom it is totally Dean for me. So I've been enviously looking at all the other stories on here lately. I can't complain, Dean surely does not lack in the h/c department in ~regular fandom, but yes, I must say hearing you have more Dean fics lines up makes me super happy. I do hope and assume you always write whatever speaks to you, though. You are not neglecting anything; you are always making various people happy whatever you post because you are awesome!