Wario and Sneezing Powder

[SarahGirl]

"Yes... Yes! It's mine, it's finally mine!" Wario thought to himself out of excitement. It was finally in his hands: a bottle of what was advertised as the most powerful sneezing powder created by anyone in the Mushroom Kingdom. This was Gesundheit Sneeze Powder. It earned its name because its inventors sneezed frequently from it both when creating it and when testing it. Wario didn't know that, however. He was more interested in its effects than the process of its creation, or even what was used to make it. Like everyone who used it, he believed that it would be as strong as it was thought to be.

The name and base product reminded him of this one cartoon he saw quite a while back, but remembered almost perfectly. There was this one part where a character, a dog, used what was literally titled "sneeze powder" on another character, a cat, probably as a punishment or something. The sneeze powder caused the cat to sneeze and then the dog said "Gesundheit." That wasn't the part Wario remembered, however. Before being punished, the cat said, "Oh no, not that! Not the Gesundheit! Please, not the Gesundheit..." It was like the cat knew exactly what the dog would do as well as what he would say. Or maybe the sneeze powder was actually called "Gesundheit Sneeze Powder", but that probably wasn't the case. Anyway, Wario loved that part of the cartoon, as it was just so mean. He wanted to do something similar after watching that.

Now that he had this sneeze powder, he tried to think of someone to use this stuff on. He briefly considered Peach, but then decided not to go for her, thinking she would hate him even more then she already did. Soon enough, Wario decided that his first victims should be Mario and Luigi. He did hate them more than anybody else, after all.

Wario was waiting for just the right moment as Mario and Luigi were talking. Not trying to listen in on them, Wario got out the sneeze powder, opened it and poured some into his hand. Taking a deep breath, he prepared to blow the dangerous black stuff at his victims. But just before he could do it, Peach walked by, and Wario saw her. He gasped over seeing how cute she was and tried to wave to her, but he forgot about the powder, which he accidentally dropped and, due to the wind, it started floating around, some of it ending up in his face. He then realized what he just did, but it was too late to do anything about it. The effects of the powder were immediate. Everyone who mentioned this stuff's intense potency was definitely right. Wario started to sneeze.

"Ahhhh... AAAAAAHHHH...!!" Within about one second, he was inhaling, but he wanted to resist the sneeze. He rubbed his nose hard, but it was no use. Realizing this wasn't working, he put his finger under his nose for about five seconds, but this didn't work, either. The stuff had already made its way up there.

"Gaaaaah, ahhhhhhh...! Come on... ahhhhhhh... stupid... Haaaaaaaahhh...!"

Despite his failing attempts, Wario really wanted to hold it back as long as he could. Otherwise, Mario and Luigi would hear him. But the sneeze powder was really beating him down and he didn't have much of a choice.

"GaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAH--!" Wario almost sneezed, but he grabbed and held his nose just before he could give himself away. This, apparently, caused the sneeze to disappear, so he removed his hand. But at that exact moment, the sneeze returned and he finally exploded.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-KCHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Wario sneezed exceptionally loudly, blasting snot out of his nose as he did. He could barely rub his nose or even react to his own snot before he entered a full-blown sneezing fit.

"Haaaaaaah-KCHOOOOOOO!! Ahhhhhhh-KCHOOOOOO! CHOOOOOOO! Ahhhhhhhh-chooooooo! Ahhhhhhh... CHOOOOOOO! Choooooo! Ahhhhhh... AAAAAAHHHHHH-KCHOOOOOOoooooo! Choooooooo!"

He sneezed over and over, most of his sneezes blowing out snot. He couldn't keep track of how many times he sneezed, but it was quite a lot. The sneeze powder was just too strong, and it seemed it would never stop. He might as well sneeze for the rest of the day.

"Ahhhhhhh-kchooooooo! Chooooooooo! Haaaaah... aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh..."

Wario, assuming that one more sneeze would end the fit, prepared for what would hopefully be his final sneeze. It looked like going to be a big one, and he surrendered.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH-KCHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Wario?!"

Wario, attempting to recover from his sneeze, saw Mario in front of him, and he was looking surprised due to having heard the sneezes, especially the last one.

"What's wrong with you?" Mario asked, not knowing this was a prank.

"Ahhhh... I'm... ahhhhh... fine, I just... hahhhhh..." Wario tried not to sneeze while talking, but it was getting real hard. "I was trying.... haaaah... to make you sneeze..."

"What?!" Mario asked, but then started to sneeze from the sneeze powder in the air. "Ahhh... Haaaah... Ahhhhhh..."

"You're not mad?" Wario asked, thinking that Mario forgave him when he was really going to sneeze. "Mario?"

"AAAAAAAHHHHH-Chooooo! Ahhh-choooo! Ahhhh... ahhhhh-chooooo!"

Mario sneezed three times to Wario's surprise. In fact, it had distracted him from his own sneeze. So his prank did work after all, just not the way Wario was going for.

"Ugh, excuse me," Mario said, rubbing his nose. "What is that stuff?"

"Gesundheit!" Wario said.

Mario was confused. He couldn't tell whether Wario had told him the name of the product or just blessed him.

"That's the name of the stuff I was gonna use on you," Wario said.

"Oh, right."

"As I was saying, I... AAAAAAAHHHH-CHOOOOOO!! AHHHHH-CHOOOOOOO!"

Wario had gone to another sneezing fit, leaving him unable to finish.

"That stuff really works, doesn't it?" Mario asked.

"Never MIND!" Wario actually sneezed that word out and walked away, knowing that he should probably finish this talk later.

"Well, gesundheit to you, too," Mario said.