Resurfacing (Criminal Minds, Reid)

[Amberlight24]

****

The power was still out.

The red in Reid’s cardigan was vivid under the glow of battery-operated lights set up around the hotel room.

Morgan spread the damp fabric across his lap taking an uncharacteristically long time fastening the buttons.

Hotch noticed. So did Rossi.

Emily was too caught up folding up Reid’s jeans, also damp with the sweat from his fever.

JJ and the sick Spencer Reid were still in the bathroom. The rest of the team waited in a kind of bated silence as if they’d actually be able to hear their friend’s fever break.

But the weather outside was chaos and somehow some it had entered their friend.

"Hets'CHH! He'ISSHiew!"

They pretended not to hear the unrestrained sneezes through the door.

They tried even harder when the expulsions decided to crescendo into a far too long fit of coughing.

But all this was hard when they were still recovering from Reid’s screams a half hour ago.

Morgan lurched up to grab his friend’s overnight bag, shoving the impeccably folded cardigan into it and pulling out Reid’s pajamas. Emily’s hand was suddenly in his vision and Morgan silently took the jeans and shoved them in as well.

He was about to rise up to take the clothes to the bathroom, but what Emily had stopped him.

The kid’s worn converses were balanced on her lap, and her fingers were undoing the laces the kid hadn’t bothered to undo before they were taken off…like maybe that small act would solve the whole situation…it was just-

This was Spencer Reid.

They were stuck in a room with no real lighting, two twin beds, and were enclosed by walls that separated them from nature’s worst soundtrack of which they had no control-

But they were far more separated from the vulnerable young man behind a much thinner wall, somehow that weather was far worse.

****

Reid’s pajama pants were far too short.

Under other circumstances that fact would have demanded teasing from Morgan, but he just didn’t have the heart to do it.

Reid had succumbed to changing into the thin undershirt and cotton pajama pants- but the worst was his shivering.

Well, also his stubbornness.

“I’m fide Morgan.”

Reid’s raspy answer fooled no one, but the team consented anyway by acting uninterested in his return to the room.

JJ finally let her touch on his arm drop from guiding him to the bed, where the kid refused to get under the covers.

He insisted to prop himself up with his back against the bed’s headboard. He was thankful for the shadows in the room- they swallowed up JJ’s form as she headed for the other side of the small room to share with Emily.

Morgan had taken the other side of the bed, hoping to seem indifferent, but soon that was just fucking impossible.

“’shiew!”

The soft sneeze rocked the young genius surprisingly hard, his thin frame returning to shivers as he sniffled urgently.

“Bless you kid.”

“I’m sorry.”

The whisper was far too drenched in emphasis.

Morgan frowned and was ready to interrogate the young agent’s unfitting response, but Spencer’s eyes had glazed over and too far gone…

So instead Morgan forced his sweatshirt on the kid.

As the kid fumbled his arms through the oversized sleeves, the older agent grabbed some socks from his friend’s overnight bag.

Bright purple with…dinosaurs.

Morgan couldn’t help his smile.

But that quickly changed.

Suddenly pale hands frantically shoved his away, the young agent crying out.

“NO DON’T!!!”

Coughing erupted from his throat, the emotion behind his words far too real and far too dominating.

“Kid, wha-?”

“NO M-MATCHING!! PLEASE NO!! IT’S NOT RIGHT!!”

Reid fell into himself again. There were certain things that needed to be “wrong” to be “right” with his mother- the flying pigs on her nightgown, reading her to sleep each night before crawling into his own bed, and wearing mismatched socks…he was in world where every fact mattered- every fact that made sense to Diana Reid…

He had betrayed her once- when facts added up to what the teenage Spencer knew he was supposed to do for his mother’s health. The globe with his mother that spun the other way depending on her moods had finally collided with the inevitable. The reality outside the apartment with black and white tiles. That was what took her from him, and the worst part was how she thought he had spun their world the opposite way to be away from her.

All he had ever wanted was her.

So at least his socks would tell the truth.

But all this didn’t write it all out for his older friend to understand but still Morgan drew the green sock with frogs over his other foot compliantly. All Morgan could see were wide honey colored eyes suddenly squeezing shut as the kid clutched around his stomach barring himself from something no one else could see.

Fever pink lips parted to form words that were fogged over with raspy breaths.

“Please no ‘organ, please! Hih’tsch! Hih’TSCH! Hets’CSHH!”

Reid’s nose fell into folds of the oversized sweatshirt, the final sneeze correctly directed into his elbow.

God, he was gross…

Hotch’s hand was on his forehead, then somehow he was sinking down against more covers, and Morgan’s voice was next to his ear…Spencer couldn’t make out all the words but they flowed together so smooth, so well blended into one emotion instead of the thousands of feelings that his mother’s voice carried that drops off cliffs and jarred against unforseen icebergs that turned every wave choppy- the young agent fell into something soft that smelled slightly of spice- he was falling and this time it was ok…

Morgan accepted the young man’s forehead dropping forward against his collarbones; his friend’s lashes were finally landing down to break the frenzy of his different realities.

“Hih’shiew!”

The sleepy sneeze was slightly wet, but the older man didn’t care.

“Bless ya kid.”

“Just….just don’t leave- let me stay tonight, please…”

Morgan didn’t fully get it all, but hell, he knew one thing:

“I’m not going to leave anytime soon kid.”

The shivering of the younger agent’s frame turned to dead weight for a blessed second.

****

Any requests for Reid? Should I continue? I hope you still liked it!

[Amberlight24]

I forgot to thank everyone: ickydog, 2shy22, and Melody for your continued comments and encouragement...I get nervous about how others feel about my writing...and its hard to do justice to a show like Criminal Minds...so thank you all for that

[stars123]

love it. you are an amazing writer - you have absolutely no reason to be nervous when you share your work!!

[2SHY222]

I love reading this! You are amazing

[ID2006]

I'm so hooked on this fic

[darkness-is-the-light]

This story just continues to be more and more amazing. You are doing a wonderful job. Please, please continue this.

[Melody]

Morgan and Reid in this part were just Ahh! He's so apologetic and delusional it's too adorable. I also love the part about the socks and him rambling about his mother in a way no one can understand! You just write him so well it's kind of scary I fifth what everyone else said, this is amazing please continue!

Edited July 9, 2015 by Melody

[Amberlight24]

****

I honestly can even begin to say how thankful I am for the comments that were given- it means so much even though it seems like such a simple thing- so thank you everyone!

Metalicstars: just thank you for your encouragement- you helped me start this next section!

2 shy22: You are always so faithful to responding to this and that really means so much!

Ickydog: I’m so so glad!!!

Sophie: You are always such encouraging to me, and your words are so meaningful!

Melody: I’m so glad you think that because I have always found it hard with criminal minds to write about them….but spencer reid is just soooo worth it! I had hoped you would like this section with Morgan and Reid, im so happy!

****

The next time Spencer woke up it was dark all around him.

He was lucid just enough to realize the soft snores close to his ear were from Morgan and the figure slumped over in a chair by his bed was none other than his boss.

“Ac’kssh!!”

His sneeze ripped along his throat- harsh, but still somewhat quiet.

Still the young agent froze, his sweatshirt covered wrist pressed to his nose. No one had stirred. Then he realized in horror that he was in Morgan’s sweatshirt.

Spencer couldn’t remember falling asleep; the covers that were drawn over him were tucked around him in a way that seemed to portray him as utterly vulnerable.

Please no…

There was a tissue box in the middle of the bed. Morgan’s hand was loosely curled around it, and crumpled tissues were in the valley between the bedcovers of the bed….Morgan was on top of the covers, slightly propped up by the headboard of the bed.

Oh, God.

Spencer felt like crying.

What had everyone witnessed while he had been out of it???

He couldn’t bear the possible explanations that were firing into his consciousness, telling him of the variety of ways he must have surrendered to his vulnerabilities in front of his teammates, all of them stuck, dealing with him behind the hotel room trenches…

He looked across the dimly lit room beyond the slumbering agents and to the door.

He decided to chance No-Man’s Land.

His shivering frame deserted the warm bed covers. Faster than his body was adjusting, he shoved out of the far too comforting sweatshirt and then slipped behind his boss in the nearby chair at the bed he and Morgan had been on. Half of his vision and hearing were tuned into being found out- but the young agent knew it had to be better on the other side.

He got to the door, shoving his inside out cardigan over his bare shoulders, his case file for the morning in hand.

He hardly knew what he was doing, but he couldn’t deal with what the rest of them could have seen.

Out in the hallway Reid slipped the door closed on the room that held in heavy the last hours of his vulnerabilities.

It dawned on him only then that he had no idea what he was to be doing in the fourth floor hallway of the hotel.

But he felt better knowing he had gotten through the door- that had always been his victory to be alongside his mother no longer infected.

At least that made sense.

****

I’m sorry there is hardly any sneezing and that the part is small… more will come tomorrow!

Any feedback is amazing J

[2SHY222]

I love how Spencer is aware now. It's adorable. Btw your fanfic has inspired me to write one...any advice on how to start?

[stars123]

great as usual!

[darkness-is-the-light]

You are doing a wonderful job, girl. Everything within this story is wonderful, as usual. Please just keep continuing.

[Melody]

Lol I love how Spencer just walks out... and yes I agree with everyone else this is amazing please continue!!

[indigo]

I can't express words that say how much I love this! I would love it if you could write some more Hotch/Reid, as they're my favourites Keep up the good work!

[Amberlight24]

****

HUGE thank yous to every who commented and encouraged me! I can’t tell you how much it means!

2 Shy22: That’s an amazing idea! Go for it! I sent you a personal message btw!

Sophie: Again, your encouragement means the world!

Melody: You already know how much I love you! J

Indigo: Your wish is granted! Read on! And thank you, by the way!

****

2am.

Why again had he given up Morgan’s sweatshirt???

The stairs winded Spencer more as he made it down each floor level, visibly shivering.

2:30am.

Spencer woke up hunched over himself on the second floor staircase.

Apparently sitting down for a minute equated to a half hour nap…

3am.

“Hext’chu! ‘shiew! Hih-hih! Hih-!”

3:12 am.

“Huh’PSSH’iew!”

His stuck sneeze finally met him as he made it to the first floor, slightly hitting his forehead against the doorjamb that his hand had shot out to steady him.

And then -

COFFEE.

His promised land.

The young agent’s hands shook a little as he poured the fairy dust that had become a part of his factual, scientifically calculated world into the Styrofoam cup.

The breakfast room he had stumbled into was small, and with the power still out the darkness folded him away from the eyes of the staff person dozing at the front desk…the TV was blaring the news but more often the lost signal was more telling of the weather outside...

The warm liquid crested over his lips, its heavy scent lost in the sugared currents that harbored along his tongue for awhile after the young genius had swallowed.

He finally felt heat again... especially when it came to the part of his throat he had found slightly burned in the hastiness of his "prior-coffee" movements. The young genius buried his coughs into his elbow before realizing no one could hear him close by.

Slightly clearer, Spencer realized his escape from the hotel room was actually a round trip if he wanted to keep his job…he had to make sense of things…

The case file he’d opened before him turned into something much softer…

5am.

Hot.

So. So. Hot.

Spencer woke up consumed in body heat but otherwise stranded.

“Hih-ISH! Hi-ISSHIEW!”

He heard sneezes but doubted they were his, because heat seemed the only inhalation. His coughing was making him dizzy because breathing was like inhaling cotton, the thick heat snatching away the rest of the oxygen in the breakfast room.

His cardigan was soaked into his skin.

Something told him not to take it off…it wasn’t right.

This wasn’t real.

He’d never be able to face his teammates if he acted affected by anything that exposed himself further…

But with each somewhat awake second, he was understanding less and less…

His eyes latched onto his oasis through the window. The indoor pool…

Usually after pretty much drowning, he was able to see her…

That made sense…right?

He felt the water before he could smell the bleach.

****

I’m so sorry, I wanted to get further tonight with writing this but it got too late! Hotch to the rescue tomorrow!

Please let me know your thoughts! J

[Amberlight24]

2SHY22:

It turns out I can't send you a personal message so I'm pasting it here at the end:

It’s so exciting you are going to write another story!!!! Honestly, any advice will just be my own personal take on things, but here it is…

Anything that you’ve wished while watching the show would happen, just start a list of your ideas- I had this idea about wanting spencer to be sick in a hotel room with his whole team taking care of him…so that’s how I started…I’m right now trying to meld some of my fetish daydreams with the story I’m writing, so that there is more than just one idea….

Don’t worry all that much on being true to the show- some writers can and its AMAZING! But I can’t, I just haven’t been able to write the part of the story that would involve a case- like an entire episode…mostly I just am writing scenes with spencer that I would want to see in parts of an episode! I guess I’m a little lazy, but I just can’t find it in me to write a whole plot driven story…so most of my writing is fluff haha

I don’t’ know if any of this made sense, but I can’t wait to read whatever you write!

Thank you for all your encouragement, you are amazing!

~Amberlight 

[ID2006]

Grrr want more... I love you so much for this fic

[Melody]

I think a feverish confused Spencer Reid wandering around in the dead of night might just be my new favourite thing ever. I love this story and I just love you

[2SHY222]

@Amberlight24 thank you soo much for your advice. I will try my hardest to make what I'm thinking of come to life. Also I can't get enough of this fic. It's so good.

[Amberlight24]

****

Thank you so much for your comments and encouragement! I look forward to them and I really wanted to get this part out to you as soon as possible!

He was sinking back into the black and white tiles.

They never left him alone…

But she always did.

But the lines were getting blurry though he was still sinking…

He didn’t know that he could find this blissful place where he had always saved himself by the scientific facts of it all... It was the world he could always attach to when all else was chaos-

But he felt so light suspended between the surface of the water where his mother would scrub away his infections and the tiles below that he felt he had to drown himself in to get away.

It was all or nothing, right or wrong-

Diana’s “right” versus his self-contrived “right”.

The “in-between” of it all- that’s where he was…

But Spencer didn’t know that he was still drowning.

****

“REID!”

He didn’t even register the single syllable of his name, lurching over as everything flooded out of him.

All that he had swallowed escaped through fathomless coughs until he was gagging on nothing. He just heaved with the grit of the concrete collecting along his parted lips with his right eyelashes smashed against the ground as well. Then somehow his body was being guided the other direction onto his back.

Seeing Hotch’s face in the gray morning brought all his awareness back in one huge collision. Spencer’s hands reached out to grab his boss’s wrist as he willed in the split second for Hotch to look back to him and not look to call anyone or help or anything-

“PLEASE DON’T!”

The voice wrenched out of the young agent and his grip on Hotch dropped to the ground as all his energy had been transferred into the air it took to make his plea.

“DON’T GET ANYONE-”

The rest was gone from Spencer and he fell into coughing for a whole other reason than almost drowning.

Something in this display stopped Aaron Hotchner.

He had just dragged his youngest agent out of a pool and administered two rounds of CPR to give him breath. Everything pointed to getting him to the hospital…

But the first breathes Reid had been taken he had used to tell him to stop.

The pool area was vacant and the gray morning light shown through some windows, casting shadows along the genius’s face.

Hotch immediately drew Spencer’s head and neck to a more propped up position on one of his knees but the motion stopped suddenly, the young man wrenched his body to the other side-

“Hiih’Nkxshh! Hih! Hih! Hiih’NKXSHH!”

His nose was so irritated from it all and some water still spilled from his nostrils causing his chest to heave uncontrollably-

“Hih’ISHHIEW! ISSH! Hih’ACXTshiew!!! ESHH-IIEW!!!

Halfway into his fit, Hotch pulled Spencer’s surprisingly light frame back to facing him, and it was a good thing he did because it took his palm to break the force of the kid’s last sneeze slamming the young agent’s nose into the concrete.

The final flood of pool water exited out of Spencer’s nostrils and he actually froze from his shaking for one second in horror-

“Ohgawdimsorry!”

The quick words flew out from his lips in efforts to somehow soften the blow of how gross he had just been.

“You are fine Spencer, don’t worry.”

Spencer must have felt enough relief from his boss’s words because he felt back into another place as he breathed in for the first time with no consequential irritations.

He could smell it.

“OH God-”

From the fetal position by Hotch’s lap, Reid’s whole body jerked and he started drowning by the side of the pool he had just about drowned inside.

Spencer was seeing something, but his boss could only react by pulling around his arms around his agent’s frame that was failing in all directions.

“GOD NO GET IT OFF GET IT OFF ME!! OFFF MEEE! GET IT OFFFFFF!!!”

Reid clawed at the smell that he could see on his skin, skidding his whole body in one violent direction; the roughness of the concrete below him took skin from him as if helping him. He couldn’t see the red that replaced it all.

But there was a firmness and a voice that sounded almost safe and when his breath was gone, Reid started coughing again and in that moment where all his energy was in breathing his boss got a firm hold on him.

“Spencer! Spencer! You’re fine! You’re fine!”

Maybe it was Hotch’s breath in his ear but something pulled him from the chemical smell of the pool water that he had thought was bath water and bleach.

Instead of a woman with gloved hands and scrub brush he broke into reality again that was the face of boss.

“I PROMISE I’m not infected!”

Hotch watched as a pale hand shot out to grasp a small handful of his tee shirt.

“Please just don’t- don’t leave me- ‘ISH! Hih-Ishhiew!!”

Spencer’s soft sneezes jerked him into the older man’s shirt as well.

His boss couldn’t help it.

“You’re ok Spencer, you’re ok, Bless you…”

His hand was pushing the damp locks clinging to the young man’s face. He watched as Spencer’s eyes fluttered shut and his back heaved with sobs that were far too vulnerable, far too infected, far too un-allowed…

He felt himself drain out into the man holding him, and maybe that wasn’t ok.

But maybe he was done drowning….

“Hih’shiew! Hih-hih!”

The next sneeze drew back from some reason.

“Bless you one and half times.”

The warm voice met his ears and for a crazy moment he knew his boss’s son was a lucky child…

He sniffled and ran a shaky wrist under his nose before his hand collapsed sleepily in the valley between Hotch’s chest and his own rib cage.

“So the smell- it-it’s chlorine?”

His voice was small and tentative and the exposing question made Hotch frown slightly, concerned.

He had been moving his thumbs across the red marks Reid had made on his skin moments ago.

“It’s just the pool Spencer, what did you think it was?”

Spencer hiccupped as his lips parted to respond and then answered, “Me infected-Hih’isshiew!”

Horror settled across his features at how he sneeze must have contradicted his words: “I’M NOT! I-Promise! NXGT! Nxgt!”

Gentle fingers caught around the young agent’s fierce grip on his nose.

Aaron’s heart clenched when he saw the red indents from Reid’s fingernails digging into the skin on his nose, like painful tally marks.

“Reid- don’t do-”

But the young agent had angled his face away, shame coloring his otherwise pale complexion. His nose dug into his boss’s leg wanting out of this situation.

Surprisingly the soaked agent’s breath evened out pillowed into his boss’s lap. He didn’t feel the gentle pulling as Aaron discarding the wet cardigan from around his shoulders and replacing it with a worn out hotel towel.

In that one moment of complete abandon, Hotch took a hand and cradled it at the base of Spencer’s neck. Just underneath his pinky, he felt the heartbeat of the young agent along his neck, and listened to the raspy pull of Spencer’s breath scissoring in and out just along the offbeat of his pulse.

The kid had scared him.

He remembered Spencer’s pleas and word choices.

Still did.

In a rough movement he pressed his lips to the young man’s temple and then pulled back as light and fast as air.

****

Please! Please! Please! Let me know what you think! J

[ID2006]

I get on here every night to check for more of this, and even if it's just to reread some of it, it never disappoints. You're work is beautiful.

[2SHY222]

This...OMG I melted into a puddle of feels. Keep going!

[stars123]

so good

[Melody]

THIS IS TOO PERFECT. I am way to deep in this fandom and it's like all this stories fault lol... Is it weird to say I love the fact that he was drowning as an escape and Hotch had to pull him out! And Reid rambling about his mother during all of this... just omg it just makes the characterization so perfect!!! Also I LOVE how fatherly Hotch is! Just the way you wrote this scene was so beautiful. And the last sentence got me melting when he kissed him- don't we all wish we could do that Just YES I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.

Edited July 13, 2015 by Melody

[Amberlight24]

All your kind words just blow me away, I am so thankful for each and every one!

I had to get some more out!

****

“Do we even know why he was in the pool?”

“Something about him being sick, he was pretty out of it by that point…”

“Hotch, this is Reid we are talking about, doesn’t it have to make sense?”

Hotch shot a glance to the backseat of the SUV before turning back to his driving.

“That’s what scares me the most.”

****

Something was wrong.

Reid frowned at his first somewhat conscious thoughts, finally willing his eyes to open.

Everything around him was vibrating, but somehow it felt as if he had been in that state for a while and that sensation didn’t really scare him. There was a soothing tone in the voices he was hearing…but it was wrapped in a dissonance- the thing that had brought him to the present.

It was Morgan’s voice along with the softer vocal tone of his boss...

He finally registered his place in the SUV, his long frame folded into the backseat. Somehow the extra presence in the car distressed him.

Why had Hotch told Morgan???

Stuck in that unsettling perception, Spencer hardly took in the other question as to where they were going. All he knew was that if he was in the car with Hotch and Morgan was too, then some explanation of his vulnerability had been breached while he had been out of it.

Suddenly his sinuses prickled and he scrambled to cage his fingers over his nose.

“Nxgt-‘shiew!”

Dammit.

And it HURT.

“God bless you.”

Hotch darted his vision to the backseat for a split second before he had to do a double take.

Morgan’s voice confirmed why Hotch had been surprised.

“Oh look! Sleeping Beauty’s awake this time!”

This was hardly funny…

Reid cringed at his friend’s comment, feeling a whole other kind of sick. Embarrassment caused some prickling in his eyes and that freaked Spencer out even more as to the intensity of his reaction.

His mouth formed words as he drew his arms around his sore ribcage.

“ wha’ you mean ‘this time’? That word choice isn’t even accurate…”

“You’ve sneezed a few times while still asleep kid! I didn’t know you were so good at multi-tasking.”

Oh. GOD.

What Reid didn’t realize was that Hotch was cringing inwardly with him from the driver’s seat. He hadn’t wanted to expose Reid any further after Reid had begged him not to. The moment they had shared an hour ago had been quite intense and he knew that especially now that his youngest agent was horribly affected by others seeing him sick.

But he had to have some help getting Reid into the car to get things cleared by a doctor.

The heated silence coming from the backseat demanded some change in the energy of the air…

“Just getting you checked out for your ribs Reid…then afterward we have been cleared for wheels up.”

“I already dow I’m fide.”

Along with that congested statement the young genius heaved his frame upright, his head pounding even harder at the new altitude.

And his nose further irritated.

“Hih’ESHH!!!”

Everyone in the car jumped including Reid.

Morgan chuckled under his breath.

“Gesundheit kid…”

“Bless, Reid- but you have to just get cleared on your bill of health for our sake, ok?”

Seeing Hotch’s eyes in the rear view mirror, Reid almost nodded but his breath hitched on the offbeat of his movement and he gasped further.

“Hih-Ishh! ISH! ISHH!!! Hih’ISHH’ ieww!!”

“Bless you, Bless you, Bless you!”

Even the slightly amused tone of Morgan was killing the young agent.

He just wanted all this to stop.

****

Thank GOD for waiting rooms.

To Spencer’s enormous relief, Morgan set up fort in the waiting area as Hotch followed him and the nurse into a small room. She took Spencer’s vitals before letting them wait alone for the doctor to come check.

“You gonna be ok?”

Spencer jerked back from a sleepy haze sitting exposed on the patient’s chair, a pale hand darting up under his nose with a slightly wet sniff.

“Yeah of course, why?”

Well, that was a stupid question for a genius…

But Hotch politely just let that question fade in the room along with Reid’s shifting levels of consciousness.

The nurse had told Spencer took take off his clothes from his upper body for the doctor to check, but it was taking forever for the doctor to come. Hotch could see the young man was fighting shivers. He looked extra vulnerable, his skin so white it matched the walls…

“Reid put the sweatshirt on for now ok?”

The abrupt instruction jerked Spencer again into reality and he was so miserable he didn’t fight against it- swallowing himself again into Morgan’s sweatshirt. The hood of the sweatshirt covered his ears so warmly that Reid kept the fabric where it was- praying Hotch wouldn’t read into anything.

“Het-chiew!”

The young genius snapped forward with the small sneeze his hands flying up to his face, but all Hotch could see was the honey colored wave of hair spilling along Spencer’s cheekbone.

“Bless you Spencer.”

But all Hotch wanted was to pull Spencer back to shore in the way he had done that morning physically, instead of saying words that did nothing for the young man’s health.

But he had no way to stop the chaos of emotions that had been drowning his youngest agent and friend.

“Thank you.”

The whisper was tentative and soft but it was there- and Reid wasn’t falling back into some fight inside himself. He had surrendered but looked utterly defeated…and of course even that didn’t make any sense.

“Why were you in the pool Spencer?”

The question was gentle but it held so much. Powerlessly Hotch had to watch as it crumbled upon the young man- cracking along the lines like ripping along the seams of what Spencer knew of his identity. Reid couldn’t actually remember what surface he had been at that morning- but the avalanche in his lap had something buried in there that needed to be recovered and after coughing into his elbow he spoke:

“I thought I was with Her.”

He cleared his throat, then continued.

“M-my Mom- I thought she wanted me disinfected but then I felt her pushing me down. And I was ok with that for a moment before I realized there was no answer. Rising or drowning I wasn’t enough…I tried to ignore what I couldn’t understand.

And I do it all the time- ignore it all. I believe in facts, but my mom isn’t factual…”

He gasped and jerked to the side.

“heh’shiew!”

He kept his hand over his mouth for a few frozen seconds and then to let it drop back into his lap as words came out again.

“And that haunts me.”

****

Love all feedback!

[darkness-is-the-light]

Absolutely amazing, as always. Please, please continue.