Sharing Sneezes - an Orphan Black fanfiction

[Winged]

Hello everyone! I'm in the process of writing a longer fic for Agents of SHIELD but have been having a hard time with the characters/dialogue, so to keep my muscles warm I banged out this little Orphan Black piece that's been floating around in my mind for ages.

There's only one other Orphan Black fic onforums right now (by the lovely wannablessedbe), and she does a nice job explaining the show in the intro to her fic, but I figured I'd do a quick rundown as well.

Basically, Sarah (our protagonist), Allison, and Cosima are clones, which Sarah didn't discover until she saw a girl who looked just like her jump in front of a train. Sarah owed some dangerous people a lot of money and had a kid to provide for, so she stole this girl's identity in hopes of getting into her bank account, and ended up discovering that they were part of a much larger puzzle. Who created them, and why? It gets even more complicated when it's revealed that one of their own is trying to kill them off...and that's all just in the first season

As far as this story goes, it's really only important to know Felix, Sarah, Cosima, and Allison. Felix and Sarah were raised together as foster siblings, and he spends a large amount of his time getting her out of trouble. Cosima is a geneticist who spends most of her time in season 1 making out with a super cute French scientist named Delphine Cosima is also sick with some bizarre disease that's encoded in the genome of the clones and she's trying to study their DNA to figure out a cure. Allison is the resident preppy "soccer mom" who likes making gift baskets and hiding her drug habit from her suburban neighbors.

ANYWAYS, that's about all you need to know! It's a really fantastic show and I'd certainly suggest checking it out.

--

“Hello, clones.” Felix entered the loft with flair, as usual, and Sarah glanced up from her phone.

“Hey, Fe,” she greeted him, and got up to help him with the heavy metal door.

“Don’t call us clones in public, Felix!” Allison poked her head out of the bathroom, perfectly-manicured brows scrunched together unhappily. “Who knows who might overhear!”

“It’s hardly public, Ali,” Cosima said from the couch, where she was curled up with her laptop under a blanket. Her condition seemed to have stabilized for now, but Sarah was keeping a close eye on her. She didn’t like the way she was shivering, even under the thick wool blanket.

“Do you need another blanket, Cos?” She asked her, already on her way to the laundry to grab one. Cosima shrugged noncommittally. But the washer and dryer were both running, with Sarah’s clothing still in the bin.

“Oh, those are mine,” Allison called. “I had to wash my pilattes clothing.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “You’d think neither of you had homes, the way you carry on in here.”

“My home is back in Wisconsin,” Cosima put in, “so I…kind of don’t have anywhere else to crash.”

“Pest control is at our house today while the kids are at school,” Allison added. “And I had to do laundry somewhere.”

Felix sighed loudly from the living room, where he had claimed an armchair. “And whose name is on the lease to this place? I could throw all three of you out onto the street.”

Cosima chuckled, and Allison let out an exasperated huff and went back to scrubbing down the bathroom sink. As Sarah passed Felix on her way to the kitchen, he caught her around the waist and tugged her down into the armchair with him, despite her protests.

“Where have you been, anyways?” She asked, squirming against him for a moment before settling in. The armchair wasn’t entirely big enough for two, but it wasn’t like they hadn’t shared smaller spaces before in their lives. Her nose was itchy, and she pinched at it absently with thumb and forefinger.

Felix let out a haughty sniff. “A gentleman never kisses and tells.”

Cosima grinned. “Was it Allen?”

Felix smirked. “No, Roy. The fellow I met at the supermarket the other day.”

“Whatever happened to Collin?” Cosima asked, putting her laptop to the side and leaning forward for the gossip. Sarah rolled her eyes.

“He couldn’t keep up, I’m guessing,” she put in. “He always seemed like a bit of a cold fish to me.” Damn, her nose was bothering her now. She sniffed harshly and leaned back to fish through Felix’s pockets for a tissue or some equivalent.

“Just because he works at a morgue doesn’t mean he wasn’t a spark in the sheets,” Felix said. “He and I got along just fine.” He nudged Sarah’s hand away with an elbow. “Stop trying to rob me.”

She came up with a napkin, examined it briefly for any obvious stains, and folded it around her nose. “No, my nose is driving me mad,” she said, voice muffled through the thin paper. Her breath hitched then, and her eyes slid shut as she began to inhale for a sneeze.

“hupt’CHH!” But it was Cosima who sneezed, and Sarah lost hers, startled.

“Got any more of those?” Cosima asked thickly, holding the back of her wrist to her nose. It was Allison who came to the rescue, pulling a pack of travel tissues from her purse and handing them to Cosima.

Sarah’s sneeze resurfaced then, and she bent forward with a “hh’ECHuh!” that soiled the napkin instantly. Sniffling thickly, she accepted a real tissue from Cosima, and the two of them blew their noses.

“Are you all right, Sarah?” Felix asked, brows tight with concern. She saw his train of thought immediately: was she getting what Cosima had?

“Yeah, Fe, it’s just a sneeze.” She sniffled and rubbed her nose against the back of her hand. It was clear there were more to come, however, and it was only a matter of seconds before the rubbing turned to shallow breaths and built into an irritated double. “hh’ECHh-ACHH’uh.”

“Bless,” Felix said, touching her forearm gently.

“Feels more like allergies to me,” Cosima said, one hand swiping at the tears starting to spill from her eyes. “Not this weird clone disease thing.”

Sarah felt Felix stiffen beneath her, and a second later he had pushed her from the chair. “What the hell?” She demanded, stumbling to her feet.

“God, am I an ass,” Felix was saying, half to himself. He shook his head. “Roy works at an animal rescue, and we met up there for, um,” he glanced over at Allison, “…lunch.”

The realization hit Sarah then, and she backed up another step from Felix. “You’re covered in cat hair, you nit.”

Cosima moaned from her position on the couch. “Felix, please burn all your cuh—clothes. hhpCHH!”

“What kind of lesbian are you anyway?” Felix shot back at Cosima before flouncing off to change. “You’re supposed to live with like thirty cats.”

Sarah was massaging her twitching nose through a new handful of tissues. “That’s a clone thing, right?”

“What, the allergies?” Cosima sniffed. “Yeah, probably. We are genetically identical.”

“Allison’s not hh — ah’TSHIIH! Ugh, bloody hell — Allison’s not bothered though?”

Allison shrugged from the other room. “My sister had a cat growing up and I was fine. Filthy animal, though.”

Cosima didn’t answer, and Sarah looked over to see her sister clone squinting up at the light with watering eyes.

“F— fuhh — fuck,” Cosima swore breathily, then sniffed. “Lost it.”

Sarah too tried to sniff and found that her nasal passages were all but swollen shut. “Dambit, Felix,” she sighed. “I’b going to shower — Cos, you’re welcome to it after me if you want.”

“I can’t join?” Cosima tried to flick her a wink but ended up losing it as the sneeze from before snuck back up on her, and brought a friend. “hihCHIH - CHHoo!”

“I’m moving Allison’s pilattes crap and washing my jacket, don’t have an aneurysm!” Felix yelled from the back of the loft. Out of tissues again, Sarah flopped down onto the couch next to Cosima and stole one from her pile.

Cosima chuckled. “Sometimes I feel like we’re really sisters, you know?”

It was sudden and a little too serious for the moment at hand, but it touched Sarah somewhere deep down, and on impulse she reached out to twine her fingers through Cosima’s with a little half-smile. “I don’t think I could have chosen a better one.”

[alias]

Orphan Black!!! This was great! This easily felt like a scene between all of them, and I could really hear their voices behind all the dialogue. Yay happy sister time sneezes! I'm glad you picked Cosima and Sarah, too. They are my favorites. And as much as I love Helena, I think I would be a little terrified to see her sneeze. Great work here!

[Juto]

This was great. I love that show and have been waiting for a good sneezefic. Thank you.

[wannablessedbe]

adorable!! yay more OB!

[Sirène]

I'M FREAKING OUT THIS IS SO GOOD. And, like alias, I'm super glad you picked Sarah and Cosima. Anyone else might have made me uncomfortable (except maybe Fe )

You got their voices perfectly!!

“He and I got along just fine.” He nudged Sarah’s hand away with an elbow. “Stop trying to rob me.”

This made me laugh out loud it is amazing.

Okay I will try to calm down now but you made my night. Was this definitely a one-shot or can has more please??