The Iron Lung (1/3?) (Avengers)

[stephab13]

Hey guys! So, Tarotgal has her amazing prompt… thing… (media is NOT my thing!) over on livejournal and it’s HEAPS of fun. So there was a prompt that essentially involves a very germophobic Tony building a suit to protect him from bugs. And so one or more of the Avengers gets sick, and Tony puts it on. With… bonus points which are coming. But I’m sick as a dog right now, so despite having never written for the Avengers before, it was just a little too awesome to let it slide! So I wanted to share it as I update, and I hope you guys like it!

As always, please let me know comments and criticism – especially because it’s a pretty new fandom for me, so I really want to work on getting their voices right! :-)

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“Uh… Tondy…?”

He tries not to cringe at the congestion. He might be a doctor, but he’s not that type of doctor… and it’s not like Bruce can help it anyway. “Yes, what can I do for you, sir?”

“Mide sharigg with the group what ond earth you’re wearigg?”

“Just… trying something out. Tinkering,” he sidesteps. Bruce might not be a psychiatrist but he is that kind of doctor, and even sick as a dog, he’s way too perceptive for his own good. And maybe, just maybe, buried somewhere deep down, there’s a sliver of humanity in him that doesn’t want to make the poor guy feel any worse than he already does by bringing attention to how plague-ridden he appears. Of course, having an excuse for the near-OCD-level anxiety that being near sick people causes doesn’t hurt either.

“Heh-heh…” Bruce scrambles frantically for the tissue box on the coffee table, but doesn’t quite make it. “HRRRUSH’UH! HRRRRUSH!”

This time Tony does flinch at the spray. “Bless you, big guy. Doing okay there?”

Banner nearly manages a chuckle beneath the mound of Kleenexes now pressed to his face. “I’ll live,” he rasps. He blows his nose, then chugs the last of his tea with a slight wince. “Ndow, are you godda get cha-ged this cendtury? Or are you just godda fly us to Steve’s?”

Tony sighs, trying to quell his heart. It doesn’t matter how many times he tells himself that seeing how Bruce essentially lives in the tower, chances are he’s already been exposed to the virus. It doesn’t matter that, like the diligent scientist he is, he’s taken the flu jab and keeps himself as fit and healthy as possible. It especially doesn’t matter how often he tells himself that a cold is just a cold and really isn’t the end of the world, and it doesn’t help that he knows his entire reaction is unreasonable. Anxiety is just anxiety, and building a shell to protect him from it is just what Tony does best.

“… Tondy?”

“Give me a minute,” he relents, wondering if any form of antiviral could be used prophylactically. “I’ll change. And you… you just stay warm.”

He could swear the doc salutes him as he turns, fingers digging in to the pressure point on his mask. This is going to be a long briefing.

[SneezyHolmes]

Cute!

[stephab13]

“To-dy? Hey!” There’s a harsh clearing of the throat, and Bruce sounds seriously irritated. “Stark! Get out here!”

He’s barely aware of the barking cough – apparently protecting him from germs includes protecting him from all sounds of illness.

“Cobe od, To-dy. Ndo ode wandts to be there, but the sooder we go, the quicker we all get to leave…”

He’s amazed he can hear Bruce’s words at all over the internal screeching of the suit.

“Antimicrobial forces breach. Do not remove suit. Pathogenic microbes detected. Do not remove suit. Antimicrobial forces breach…”

Even Jarvis isn’t responding. Tony supposes that sometimes he’s so smart he even outsmarts himself.

“Pathogenic microbes detected. Do not remove suit.”

“Alright, alright! If I pretend not to remove you, will you shut the hell up?!”

“Do I have to get Tash indvolved? Or, God forbid – Pepper?”

“Pathogenic microbial count increase. Do not remove suit. Antimicrobial forces breach. Do not remove suit.”

The noise is giving him a headache, and Tony can’t even force his fingers into his temples. This thing was meant to prevent anxiety attacks, and right now he’s slumped on the ground trying to get his damn heart to calm down. Why he didn’t just take a leaf from Microsoft’s book and have one simple, easy-to-find on/off button is utterly beyond him.

“T-Tody?”

Even through the screaming he can hear the concern creeping into Bruce’s tones. This is not good.

He groans, throwing open the door… and throwing up his arms to catch a rather shocked and annoyed Bruce Banner. “I’m stuck,” he mutters.

“Pathogenic microbial count rapidly increasing. Do not remove suit.”

Bruce quirks an eyebrow. “Combe againd?”

“I can’t get the damn suit off, alright?”

“You cand’t – oh, God – I’mb sorry – “ Bruce breaks off into a combination of laughter and coughing. “I feel pretty darnd pitiful add that’s actually mbaking mbe feel better.”

If his brain wasn’t currently trying to squeeze through every possible orifice, Tony would have rolled his eyes. “Don’t make me ask.”

“Mbake you ask what?”

Jerk. Tony squeezes his face shut like a small child – not that anyone can see through the tinted mask. Of course the others are gonna milk this for all it’s worth. “… Help me?”

Bruce is clutching his ribs, but the gigantic grin almost makes up for the humiliation. “How? Is there add off switch?”

“No, because, you see, the inclusion of an off switch would imply that I would need an off switch and suggest that I might actually have made an error in the design of the suit. Never forget, Banner, my arrogance almost matches that of my intelligence, so why the hell would I have the foresight to include a damn off button?!” He groaned. “It’s simple engineering. Every joint is a weak spot. See if you can lever the back for me, and I’ll work on the limbs.”

It’s at that very moment, just as Bruce puts a hand on his back, when the suit starts squealing. Actually squealing. “Pathogens detected. Pathogens detected. Antimicrobial forces breached. Fall back. Fall back. Antimicrobial forces breached. Do not remove suit.”

Bruce shakes his head. “Tody… Did you mbake yourself add irond bubble?”

“… Shut up.”

Bruce raises his hands in surrender. “Look, your suit wo-‘t let mbe touch you. Add, we’re already half add hour late. Wearigg a suit to a beetigg is ndot the worst thigg you’ve donde… so cad we just leave ndow?”

The suit is still yelling, but it’s much less shrill now that Banner’s taken a few steps back. Tony hates to admit it, but for once the medical doctor might actually be right. “Fine,” he admits, wrinkling his nose. It’s really starting to itch and he’s starting to overheat… which really isn’t a good sign at all.

[NorthernLady]

The suit is still yelling, but it’s much less shrill now that Banner’s taken a few steps back. Tony hates to admit it, but for once the medical doctor might actually be right. “Fine,” he admits, wrinkling his nose. It’s really starting to itch and he’s starting to overheat… which really isn’t a good sign at all.

LOL this is really wonderful Can't wait to see the suit react to Tony getting sick... he is gonna get sick, right? That darn germophobe

[Spoo]

I have a LOT of feelings for sick!Bruce, and this is just great! It's also funny, too. You're doing great so far!

[beatlelover22]

What an awesome prompt!! Tony and Bruce are adorable as hell This is just so so cuuuute!! AH. Are the LJ prompts open to everyone? If so, do you happen to have a link? I'm a bit out of the loop, you could say.

[pompito01]

*fangirling intensifies rapidly*

[sapphiremint]

Ahhh I'm so happy, I'm so excited someone decided to fill this prompt. Hehe great job so far!

What an awesome prompt!! Tony and Bruce are adorable as hell This is just so so cuuuute!! AH. Are the LJ prompts open to everyone? If so, do you happen to have a link? I'm a bit out of the loop, you could say.

Anyone is free to fill or submit prompts and It's here: http://tarotgal.livejournal.com/968179.html?page=1#comments

[ID2006]

OMFG this is amazing ang hysterical and so so awesome.

[SpamKey]

Eeek this is amazing! I love it, science bros is what I live for. Damnit it's so good!