It's pretty Sasarious (Tokyo Ghoul:re)

[funinthesun]

Hello friendships! I'm back again, and I'm actually liking this fanfic this time. I'm pretty sure this fic will be absolutely spoiler free, so if you're not caught up you don't really need to worry. ANY AND ALL CRITICISM IS WELCOME OH MY GOD PLEASe

Anyway....Haise is sick and Shirazu is the only one who does anything. (I'm gonna be really honest, japanese names confuse me so much, I don't really know what names I should be using but if you know feel free to tell me please). Literally I let so many headcanons get in here I'm so sorry. This is told from Shirazu's POV (i'm doing my best to pick one ONE) and if you get confused it starts in the Conference room when Haise is already sick, there's a flashback that brings them back to the conference room but details how Haise got sick, and then the story progresses linearly from there. If you've read my stuff before you're aware that I cannot spell sneezes to save my life so I hope this is still enjoyable ;_;

Haise was coming down with something, and as usual, refused to take care of his own damn self so that he could try and save people. What bull.

hyeeh-tchshshuuh

Shirazu glanced at him, sitting over there, a little away from everyone. Angled slightly so they couldn't see his face. What an idiot. He was the smartest idiot in the world probably.

It hadn’t been hard to spot in him. The changes. At the beginning of the week he had overslept, and ran into the team room with two different shoes on and his weird hair sticking up like it got payed to do that. He had spent the rest of the day completely out of it, wandering around aimlessly, staring into space, laughing it off whenever someone asked him what was up. Thinking back on it, he had been clearing his throat more too. The second day, he went out in the field. Haise’s coat was too light. He couldn’t stop shaking. The idiot.

Shirazu had tried to casually hint that his superior should take better care of himself, offering warm articles of clothing and giving other team members the lionshare of the cold work. Unfortunately, somehow Mutsuki got called down to headquarters right in the middle of his shift on watch, and Haise practically jumped at the opportunity to freeze his sorry ass off.

Shirazu had been making his rounds when he heard it, a sharp exhalation that came with sniffles and a furtive swipe at his nose, coming from Haise’s post. It happened again. Haise would spend half a minute snuffling lightly, breath hitching, and then expel a little burst of air from between clenched teeth. He repeated the process a dozen times, and after the last time, he produced a tissue pack from a pocket to try and clear his nasal passages. Unfortunately for Rank 1 investigator Sasaki Haise, he was not quite as alone as he thought he was and his plan didn't go quite right. Instead of putting an end to the proof he was under the weather, he made it worse (read: louder, wetter).

HhyEehGSHHHHH

Shirazu rolled his eyes. The damn fool was making himself sicker with every minute he stayed out here like this. So Shirazu was going to make him go home. Or at least take a scarf.

"Sassan I'm takin yer post," he jerked his head over his shoulder. "Go home an rest. Ya sound miserable."

Haise had scrambled like a kid caught with a girlie mag, stuffing tissues into his pockets and clearing his throat before trying to convince Shirazu of his amazing health with a stuffy "What? D....doh I'b jusd.....its jusd the cold air bessig with be. Snff."

Hrrrussshhhu

Shirazu snorted. "Yeah right, and I'm the prime minister"

"Your emidence," Haise muttered. But he didn't protest when Shirazu handed him a mask, a scarf, and a hat. He had to stop himself from smirking. The stubborn bastard must have felt really crappy if he accepted help from him. Shirazu knew the battle was only beginning though. He could not have foreseen the level of stupidity Sassan would achieve, but he knew it wasn't going to be easy.

Haise had looked damn near death that night when they finally tramped back to the apartment. There were little snowflakes melting in his hair and eyelashes, and his eyelids looked heavy. He was moving rather sluggish and he still seemed to be fighting for control of his nose.

Ah hehgszzhieu

Sassan sneezed wetly. He had grudgingly put on the mask to at least protect his teammates from his germs (he said it was just to keep them from seeing his chapped nose, but Shirazu knew better). Above the fabric, Haise's eyes were tearing up, dewy with some combination of extreme temperature and constant forceful sneezing.

HYETSHCHSHhh

Cold or no, the old man was congested as hell. No way he should have pushed himself to stay out there in the snow all day. Really it was sort of fascinating to watch someone so obviously miserable try to give a status report while fighting off a sneeze. Haises eyes were watering above his mask and his hand kept fluttering between his face and his side, like he almost forgot he had a mask on.

"Th- the gangs....ahh....bovebedts hahhhh Haah hYKTSHH hyetshchsh snfff have ceased altogether ad theeh ..... the odly id or out od t- the tah- the targed.... id ...quehh...stiod hyrgshchhieh -pardod be- is ....."

"Sasssan? Are you alright?" Holy crap even Urie said something THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY AN EMERGENCY.

"He just wants to prove that idiots can actually catch colds," Shirazu drawled, hoping he hadn't crossed a line in teasing his superior.

Urie muttered something about that being his job, which Ginshi chose to ignore for now.

"Rank 1 inspector Haise will report immediately to his own bedroom to rest and recover from his nasty headcold." Shirazu saw Sassan start to protest, and cut him off. "I'll get Mado-san if you won't listen."

"Its really dot that bad Shirazu, hodestly I'b -"

"Actually rather ill?" Way to go Tooru tell him.

"sick," Saiko agreed.

"Gross" Urie muttered. He really had no people skills.

"Poidt tagked," Haise sighed. "If you should deed adythig"

"We'll ask someone else! Now go and f--king rest you maniac."

Hrrrussshhhu hgxSHchieh

Sassan had sneezed thickly and retreated to his room, where, as it turned out, he didn't rest at all. This is where the story starts, with everyone except Sassan himself resigned to the fact that their guardian might need a few days off to take care of himself and recover from the wicked cold he was developing. Unfortunately, the stubborn ass had taken "rest" to mean "stay up all night denying you have a cold". Which brings us to the beginning of the story again, with Sassan trying in vain to mask his symptoms just so he could continue working.

Overnight, it seemed that the man's symptoms had worsened exponentially. Haise sounded awful. Hoarse, stuffed up, sniffling, sneezing incessantly, and developing a hoarse little cough, he continued to deny he was ill and in need of rest. Shirazu felt like kicking him. The sick should take care and get well, not make it all worse by working through the night. Dumbass.

Investigator Suzuya was already in the conference room with the quinx, but Mado was running late. This was usual. Today was just a debrief. The tiny, eccentric investigator was playing with a knife as he chatted with the team. He made it dance between his fingers as if it were a toy.

"Say, Haise."

He looked up, squinting at his friend.

Suzuya continued, knife still dancing in his hand.

"I guess we can put the rumors of your ghoulishness to rest. Nice work catching a cold just as people began to actually investigate."

The knife was balanced on its tip. The two rank 1's were staring at each other over the top of it, Suzuya with barely contained mirth, and Haise with mild disbelief. The latter moved first, slumping back in his seat muttering something about how it was only a chill and idiots who will believe anything. Since he was punctuating his speech with liquid sniffs, it didn't quite have the usual effect.

Suzuya laughed musically, flipping the knife over to his other hand and engaging Mutsuki in excited banter about socks or something.

Enough was enough. Shirazu marched over to his superior and hauled him up off his seat. Haise didnt even react fast enough to do anything. With the rest of his squad staring in shock, Shirazu dragged Haise out of the conference room and shot a text to Mado-san.

[Haise sick. taking him home. Team in con room. Will return at your request but Sassan wont.]

The reply was quick.

[Good, you’ve saved me from babysitting. he looked awful yesterday Let me know if you need anything. You are free to go.]

Another text came through.

[Make sure he actually gets better Shirazu Ginshi. We need him back.]

"What a-" Haise couldn't even get that out without coughing.

It was everything Shirazu could do not to roll his eyes.

"Yer obviously too sick to be any use, so we're goin home, Sassan."

hyrgshchhieh

Shirazu glanced down at him, eyes watering, nose streaming, visibly miserable in every way, and still protesting the need to leave and get better. His body refused to be silent, though. No sooner had the first sneeze ripped from him than the second and third were fighting to get out. His reddened nostrils twitched and fluttered as he fought the urge, but it was a battle he was destined to lose, and quickly did. Wet, squelching sneezes that left him barely enough time to clamp a hand around his mouth.

gxshchiuhh.....uhtsxshchhhh......hgxSHchieh. ..tchsh....hetcchh...haeEhKXSH.....

Haise groaned softly, and sniffled. He didn't take his hand away from his face. Shirazu handed him a pack of tissues and a mask, which he took gratefully. After that, the trip home was uneventful. Haise didn't have any money on him so they ended up walking the few blocks from CCG hq to the apartments. Haise wearing both his and Shirazu's coats, and Shirazu wrapping his sweatshirt tighter to keep the biting wind out.

They must have been a sight. A small man with white tipped hair, wearing a facemask and bundled in a largeish coat, and a lanky teen in work clothes and a hoodie, striding through a snow flurry.

yeh’kxsh

Haise’s head bobbed, floppy hair bouncing and shaking a light dusting of snow off. That last sneeze seemed to have set his nose running again. Shirazu pretended not to notice.

In the elevator, after a hearty sneezing fit brought on by the change of air temperature from Haise, Shirazu sighed.

“Yer a real piece of work, Sassan.”

Haise looked at him, amused. Waiting, it seemed, for Shirazu to grasp the irony of this last statement. Shirazu rolled his eyes.

“Yeah ok, takes one to know one and whatever,” the door opened and the two of them walked toward the apartment. “But seriously? You were shivering indoors, yer nose is all runny, ya can’t quit sneezin’ or coughin’ and you’re losing your voice. Literally nobody would have thought less of ya for staying home, you’ve got one hell of a cold and it’s obviously kicking your ass.”

“Thadt obvious huh?”

“YES!!”

aehh-kxchshiew

“Fair edough,” Haise sighed. “Though I’ve god this feelig it’s dot jusd a cold.”

“What, flu?” Haise just shrugged. His eyes were narrowed and his breath was hitching. “Sassan, why did you try to keep going if you thought you had the freaking FLU?? Are you deranged?”

hgxchxhshiehh…..eh-kshx…..kshxchsh…….aeehh….eeeihhh….eiI-TXHSHH

“ugh. Doh. I jusdt did….did’dt wa….wa-yxhsh hAESHSHXHHSI holy- hyeh’Gchchsh.”

Haise sneezed his way through his excuses.

“I’b us- used to juh….jjuhhhh…..ig-SCHHTiew! ngCHTEIW buhhh- *snrrk* muddlidg alog od b- hkchshi…. hkschi Od by owd. Add you dod’t deed to sday Shira- hnn-zxcshtt...gxscht! pchhhiew…. I’b fide.”

“Like hell you are.”

tbc.

(how am i doing i'm so nervous)

Edited March 10, 2015 by funinthesun

[SpookyBoi]

It's so cute and fluffy. I love it and you should continue.

[weepy]

ohhhh I love this! The point of view from Shirazu is on point ^^ Also, the spellings are just wonderful, poor Haise <3

Please do keep going, I'll look forward to it!

[truth]

tokyoooo ghoul !!! I'm SCREAMIBG this is perfection

[funinthesun]

Hiiii I promise i didn't leave this like this on purpose anyway THANK YOU FOR THE REALLY NICE COMPLIMENTS. I'm glad you guys like it. Part 2? Coming right up.

Literally only an hour later, Shirazu found Haise asleep on the couch with a book resting face down on his chest. Shirazu put his forehead on Haise's. No fever yet. Maybe. it was hard to say.

Shirazu gingerly unhooked the loops of the mask from behind Haise's ears. He couldn’t let him sleep on the couch, he needed to stay warm. There was nothing else for it, Shirazu was going to have to carry him to bed.

He was so small. It was a strange feeling, picking up ones own mentor. Haise was what, five years older than him? and yet here the two of them were, the elder child-like in the younger's arms.

Weird. Stop thinkin about that shit, Zu.

Haise was such a child though. When Shirazu laid him down on his bed, he immediately groaned and rolled onto his side, curling up and rubbing his nose clumsily. He was still out when Shirazu finally managed to cover him in blankets and turn out his lights, when he left the room and returned with a chair and a blanket for himself, when Shirazu nodded off around 6, Haise was still asleep.

ha'kychhh

Shirazu blinked himself awake to see Haise (barely awake himself) laying on his side/stomach so that he could cover his nose and mouth with the crook of his elbow.

HYETSchhh

Haise sniffled thickly from stifling so harshly and pulled his blankets up to his eyes, burrowing deeper into his bed.

hah-kJSHSHIEH

Haise's whole body curled up with that one. Shirazu peeked around the cocoon of bedding and saw only a pair of sleepy grey eyes blinking under a mop of two-toned hair. The eyes then noticed him, and got confused, squinting at the not-quite-intruder they had found. Then relaxing.

"Ah, Shirazu," he coughed lightly (that sounded bad).

Haise disentangled himself from his blanket nest (to mild protests from his concerned pseudo roommate) and sat up. His hair was sticking up on one side and the way he was swaying slightly made him even more child-like. The swaying was worrying.

Shirazu must have zoned out for a second, because when he looked back at Haise he was in the process of stripping down to his undershirt and briefs and getting back in bed.

"Sassan," Shirazu groaned. "What the hell are you doing?"

Sniff

Haise looked confused.

"I always sleep like this."

Shirazu stared at his mentor. He had to be kidding, right? Even now, with only a short exposure to chillier air, he was having to take great care not to shiver. The younger man watched as the confused expression on Haise melted into a sneeze. His eyes unfocused, crossing slightly, and slowly drifting shut. Just before he actually succumbed to the reflex, he seemed to fold in upon himself, wrapping one arm around his ribs and bringing the other one up to cover his face. Or rather, his face down to his arm.

hyeeh-tchshshuuh

Not an old man's mannerism. Shirazu knew Haise was young in face but...

"Sassan."

He looked up, foggy concern dominating his tired features.

"How old are ya."

Shocked, seemingly by the randomness of the question, Haise stammered a half-assed non-answer.

"W....why? Older thad you, but why do you..." seeming to notice that Shirazu was being uncharacteristically quiet and waiting for an actual answer, he stopped evading the question and just sighed.

"22 I think. Yes."

The fact that he was unsure of his own age alone would have made Shirazu feel bad. Add the fact that Haise was only three years older than himself, and had so much responsibility placed on his shoulders and he was sicker than Shirazu had ever seen and he was still trying to joke while standing there almost shivering in his underwear and a black tshirt and that was enough to pretty much break his subordinate's heart. It was then exactly that Shirazu made a concrete decision along the lines of "i owe this guy my life and i will take care of him now"

Iiihhh.....IGSHHCHIEW

Haise swore softly and covered his face with a hand.

"Ugh. I'b godda go and......umb.......ah"

kJSHSHIEH

That sounded pretty unpleasant to have to go through. Shirazu took a step forward (to do what he didn't know but he wanted to help somehow) but Haise waved him off , turning and walking out of the room. Running water.

Shirazu did a quick search of the drawers in the room, and figured out pretty quickly that Haise didn't really own any sweatshirts. Or like any casual clothes for that matter. He thought about his own drawers, much less neat, but still all the clothes in them were clean. In his mind it was settled. Sassan would wear one of his hoodies.

And he did.

After Haise was asleep again, Shirazu asessed tthe situation. Sassan was down with a head full [ cold, and they had no supplies. He practically ran to the convenience store, and practically ran into Arima Kishou on his own doorstep. He had come to bring some food Haise could eat and to tell someone that the cause of the illness was most likely immune suppression due to powerful RC suppressants. Haise was standing in the doorway talking to him.

He looked sick. Grey and tired, cheeks tinted with a slight fever-flush. His nose was similarly pink, and even deeper shades around his nostrils. When Arima noticed his approach, he ruffled Haise's messy hair before making his exit.

"Take care Shirazu, " he murmured.

As he disappeared around the corner, Haise sunk to the floor and knelt there with his head against the doorframe.

"Oh no you don't. "

Shirazu hauled his mentor to his feet, guiding him over to the couch, where he promptly sat hard. Shirazu propped him up on a pillow and set to work unwrapping the thermometer hed bought. Haise obediently opened and closed his mouth when prompted, sniffling thickly into the sleeve of Shirazu's hoodie. The thermometer beeped at him, reporting Haise's temperature to be

"39 degrees."

Haise pulled the thing out of his own mouth before sneezing stuffily. It almost sounded like he might have stifled, but Shirazu knew that it was more likely that Haise was so congested that the sneeze stifled itself.

hkchshiew

He sneezed again, almost whimpering as his breath hitched desperately, head snapping forward with the involuntary stifles.

nn-gXHSHT ig-SHCHTieh

Then he stopped, freezing in a classic gotta sneeze face. Mouth slightly open, eyes shut, nose scrunched slightly. He let out a strangles "haaah" before finally:

-IGSHHCHIEW

The sneeze loosened up the congestion in his nose, setting it running again. Shirazu handed Haise a box of tissues, which he took gratefully and made quick use of. As Haise made a few gurgling attempts at blowing his nose, Shirazu dumped out and organized the rest of the supplies he had gotten. A few warm cans of coffee, some cooling plasters, a package of facemasks, three more boxes of tissues and a packet of hankerchiefs just in case. Plus some cold medicine and a few instant soups. Shirazu left those in the bag.

"Go put some shorts on so you don't overheat and get back in bed."

Coughing, he obeyed.

Once in bed again, Shirazu handed Haise a can of coffee and two pills. He stuck a plaster on his forehead, placed a box of tissues next to him and let Haise get comfortable. He was out in a matter of minutes.

Shirazu glanced at his watch, 9:30 pm. The day had felt longer. Before he knew it, he too was nodding off in his bed.

-----------------------------

The next morning when Shirazu crept into his leaders room before the time when he usually woke up, he was half hoping to see him sniffling and getting ready for work. Maybe he would miraculously be better. Maybe there was absolutely nothing to be worried about.

Haise was laying on his side facing the door, a tissue crumpled in one of his hands, the other one clutching at his blanket. He was asleep. Haise’s lips were slightly parted, letting him breathe, and he was snoring lightly. As he breathed out, Shirazu could hear a quiet popping noise, like tiny bubbles ….

ew.

There was no mistaking it now, Haise was properly sick. And visibly so too. His nose was all pink and runny, He was pale and A quick feel of his forehead confirmed that he was still running a fever.

"Mado-san gave you the day off."

Shirazu damn near jumped out of his skin when Urie, who had materialized in the doorway, spoke. After quietly cussing his partner out, he finally got around to the question of the hour.

"Why?"

"Because, and I quote," Urie glanced down at his phones display. "That fool hasn't got a clue how to take care of himself and hes sicker than Ive ever seen him. Plus we need all hands on deck to get these clowns."

"So mbeeaad," Haise groaned, sitting up in bed and coughing. Shirazu felt his heart sink. It had settled in his chest now. As Urie prowled away to who knows where, Haise started to show signs that he was about to let out his first sneeze of the day. Face slack, he fumbled for a tissue and brought it to his face.

Eh'schchxh

Apparently his nose was so completely stuffed up that the whole sneeze got stuck in it, trying to expel air and contagion from a blocked space and only achieving a disgusting wet noise and a large amount of snot leaving his body.

aehh-kxchshiew n'tschchh

After satisfying himself that any further efforts on its part were futile, Haise's nose let him breathe, and he relaxed a bit.

Shirazu decided that he could give him some space to clean himself up by going to get some medicine ready. He also figured that it was pretty weird to camp out in his superiors room all day just to keep an eye on him so he devised a new plan.

"When you're ready, grab all your stuff you need or want and come out to the sitting room, Ill set up the couch for you."

Haise nodded his agreement and Shirazu set out for the kitchen. Hot coffee, medecine, thermometer, tissues, masks, handkerchiefs, all went over to the coffee table. A loud honk told Shirazu that Haise wasn't quite ready yet. He was probably trying to seem as healthy as possible. Shirazu chuckled. Unfortunately for Haise, he was hilariously, adorably, insanely, horrifically sick with the mother of all headcolds, and it was going to take more tissues than there were in the apartment to rid himself of even the simplest of the symptoms involved.

WHUMP.

Shirazu skidded into the hallway to investigate the noise and found Haise halfway through the door, groaning and regaining consciousness slowly while trying to rise. Shirazu scooped him up and loped over to the couch, a mumbling investigator feeling very small in his arms.

"Zu you gotta pud be dowd," he murmured. "You're godda get sihh...siiiih"

Hyih-kchtsh

Shirazu felt Sassans body move, knees jerking upward as his abdomen tightened and released. His spine curved against Shirazu's arms and Haise groaned softly and leaned into his bearers chest. He was so out of it. His fingers were clutching at Shirazu's hoodie. Haise sniffled miserably and buried the lower half of his face in his too big sleeve.

HgxSHchieh yih-gxsgchsh

Shirazu grimaced at the undeniable "sick" quality the sneezes had to them. Soft and tired, they came out without a fight, squelching and stuffy and messy and just so very clear in their message. "I feel horrible " they screamed.

"Thagks." Haise muttered through his sleeve.

Shirazu just grunted and set him down on the couch carefully. Haise had barely settled back on the cushions when Shirazu popped the thermometer in his mouth. Unfortunately, Sassan’s nose had plans for him. His eyes crossed slightly, eyelids fluttering as he fought the urge to sneeze. He rubbed a finger under his nose, but it seemed to have no effect. Shirazu reached out and pressed gently on the bridge of Haise's nose. And while he looked shocked, he didn't sneeze for the remainder of the time the thermometer needed to assess his condition. When it beeped, Shirazu plucked it out of harms way and gently brushed his fingertips along either side of Sassans nose. To his credit, Haise tried to cover his mouth. Unfortunately he was helpless to stop the wave of sneezing that came over him.

The sneezes ricocheted from him, producing a fine spray of mucus that hung in the air for a moment before dissipating.

hyeeh-tchshshuuh hkchshiewhkcHSHIEW huuih-TCHSHX kTCHHSHSHM HAH-KJSHSHIEH hgxhsht haah......hehh ahaa?...hah-IGSHHCHIEW

get tissue

HYETSch gaah ...hah...ig-SHCHTiew hyeh-gTCHHT

Haise soaked at least 3 tissues blowing his nose. By this time, he was completely stuffed up. His nose, while still running steadily, could no longer be considered an airway.

Snrrrrk

Haise wiggled his nose and pulled a blanket over himself. Seeming to settle in for a long day spent on the couch.

It soon became clear that Sassans cold had indeed settled in his chest. What had once been a slight itchy cough was now a harsh bark with a light rattle to it.

TIME SKIP BECAUSE I CAN'T TRANSITION FOR ANYTHING ok so the next part can go up as soon as someone tells me the name of the doctor from TG because in the document i haave it says "doctor whatever " and that s not cool not chill at all. I'M SORRY for lack of editing and any OOC stuff and if something doesn't make sense, i've been writing this right before i fall asleep each night so um it's not that great. Let me know what you think!!

[Dylan]

I JUST CAME ON HERE AFTER A REALLY SHIT DAY AND I SAW THIS AND OMG IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. YOUR WRITING IS WONDERFUL AND HAISE IS SO PRECIOUS ^·^