Never Reveal Your Secrets (Criminal Minds: Hotch)

[matilda3948]

Sorry I haven't been writing very much lately. Been short on both time and ideas. However, I've been wanting to write something related to the scene where Hotch goes to Garcia's psychic friend to get Jack's Halloween costume. I use some of the dialogue then go off into my own little world that does not include Jessica but I haven't a clue how to write her. If you want to watch the scene that prompted this little story, it's here:

It's adorable!

Anyway, this is probably a one-shot. Hope you like!

Madame Bouvier eyed him up and down before deciding this “friend of Penelope” was legit. She buzzed him in and Aaron stepped into the entryway. Despite having an umbrella he was dripping wet—the rain seemed to be blowing in from all sides.

“Thank you,” he said, putting his umbrella off to the side. “Madame Bouvier, I presume?”

“MmmHmm. The one and only.” The psychic tugged at her robe giving Hotch another appreciative, flirtatious, glance. “Just put on some tea. You want a cup?” It was miserable outside and he looked cold—he could do with a cup of tea.

“No thank you,” Hotch said.

“Suit yourself. Wait here. I got what you came for.” It probably wasn’t fair to tease him like that (straight-laced that one) but she couldn’t help herself.

Once she disappeared behind a beaded curtain, Hotch looked around the room. Candles, crystals, all the ephemera associated with a fortune teller. He’d just found the glass case with the skull, crystals, and…was that a shrunken head…when he suddenly had to sneeze. He stifled it into his elbow, the material already damp from the rain. hhNGkt!

“Oh, Penelope called just in time,” Madame Bouvier said, coming back into the room with a large cardboard box.

“I’ve been looking for one for weeks. Where did you find it?” Hotch asked with a light sniff.

“I suppose Miss Garcia didn’t tell you: Madame Bouvier never reveals her secrets.”

“No, she didn’t mention that. I’m sorry.”

“Child, I’m playing. My cousin runs a prop house in Hollywood. He FedEx’d it.”

“Well you and your cousin are going to make one little boy’s Halloween veehh—Eh.” He curled his hand into a loose fist, pressing a finger to his nose. “Very special,” he finally finished. “How much do I owe you?” The tickle in his nose suddenly flared again and he turned away from Madame Bouvier, stifling two sneezes against the back of his wrist.

hehNGXT! NGKT!

“Bless you! You know what? It’s on the house. Any friend of Penelope’s is a friend of Madame Bouvier’s.”

“No, I insist.”

“No, no, no. I insist. Any man that will come out in this mess for his son deserves a break. World could use more good fathers,” she added softly.

Aaron smiled, touched by both her offer and her kind words. Truth be told, he could use a break. All he wanted was to find the perfect Halloween costume for Jack. He’d scoured the DC Metro are, as well as most of the internet, with no luck. Three days ago Penelope had asked what Jack was going to be for Halloween and Hotch confessed that his search for a Darth Vader costume had been in vain. A half hour and three phone calls later and Garcia had given Hotch the address for Madame Bouvier. For at least the tenth time that weel, he was awed by the marvel that was Penelope Garcia and her seemingly endless network of connections. He was about to say so when he felt an itch quickly form deep in his sinuses, spreading down the length on his nose and causing him to turn his back on the psychic once again, raising his arm and sneezing into his elbow.

hehhNGTsh! NGTX! hhGNTschh!

“God bless you, child! Sure you won’t take me up on that tea? Don’t have to be psychic to see you’re under the weather.”

Hotch shook his head, still not sure if he was done sneezing. The sneezy feeling retreated somewhat and he felt confident he could finally answer.

“Excuse me. Thank you for the offer, but I’m alright and I should be getting home. Again, thank you for this. Shall I return it Monday?” he asked, nodding towards the box. Madame Bouvier took a step towards him and grabbed his hand, turning it so it was facing up.

“When you come back, you should let me read your palm,” she said quietly, tracing her fingers over the creases and lines in his upturned hand. “Now that I’ll charge you for.”

With that, Aaron Hotchner was speechless and that was all the payment Madame Bouvier needed. She smirked as he gently pulled his hand out of her grip.

“Thank you. Happy Halloween,” he stammered. Hotch gathered up the large box and grabbed his umbrella before stepping out into the downpour once again. He pretended not to hear Madame Bouvie’'s outburst (“Mmm. G-Men!”) that he could clearly hear through the closed door. It was impossible to get into the car with the box without getting completely soaked. Cold rain water was actually dripping from his hair by the time Aaron managed to get the driver’s side door shut. When he looked inside the box he smiled—totally worth it to get the perfect Halloween costume for Jack.

hehTSCHHoo!

The sneeze took him by surprise and he was infinitely grateful that he was alone. Hotch reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. Like nearly everything else, it was damp from the rain, but it was better than nothing. He blew his nose, folding the cloth over and smothering another sneeze. hehAhhSSHHHoo! Aaron sniffed and turned the heat up before turning on the windshield wipers and pulling out into traffic.

Between the weather and the time of day, it took Hotch ages to get home. As much as he hated to admit it, Hotch confessed that Madame Bouvier was right—he did feel like he was coming down with a cold. His throat had been scratchy all day and he’d started sneezing that afternoon. Aaron shivered and glanced as the box sitting in the passenger’s seat. Totally worth it, he thought to himself.

**

“Jack, I told you, you’ll just have to wait until he gets home.”

“But Aunt Penny, you know what the surprise is,” Jack said. “Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Well then it wouldn’t be much of a surprise,” Garcia said. She got up and put their dinner plates in the sink. Jessica had her book club that night so Garcia had agreed to stay with Jack until his dad got home with what he promised would be an awesome surprise.

“Make sure your homework is all done and I’ll make us some hot chocolate,” she said. He sat down at the kitchen table and finished up his work while Garcia fixed Hotch a plate of food and then put the leftovers away. She’d just put milk on the stove to heat up when the front door opened.

“Dad!” Jack yelled.

“Hey buddy. I come bearing gifts,” Aaron said, putting the box down on the table. Penelope came into the room and grinned as she watched Hotch take his time opening the box, reaching in, and slowly pulling out the Darth Vader mask. “Jack, I am your father,” he mimicked. He was met with an earsplitting shriek of joy. Aaron pulled out the top and the belt and went to grab the cape when his breath hitched. He dropped the cape onto the table then turned and sneezed into his hands.

hehTSCHH! hhtschhoo!

“Bless you,” Jack and Garcia said at the same time.

“Thank you.” He rubbed his nose and went into the kitchen to wash his hands.

“Can I go try it on?” Jack asked.

“Is your homework done?”

“Just finished it,” he said, already running down the hall towards his room.

“Wow. Well that was a success,” Garcia said. She went to the refrigerator and got the chocolate syrup and started stirring it into the milk.

“Penelope, I really owe you. I—”

“You owe me nothing, boss man. It was my pleasure.” She nodded towards the plate of food on the counter. “That’s yours. Probably not even cold yet.”

“Thank you.” Truth be told, he wasn’t very hungry. All he really wanted was a hot shower and maybe some Nyquil. As soon as he saw Jack in his costume he’d at least go change into something dry.

“Hotch?” Garcia stepped in front of him. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” He hadn’t realized he’d zoned out for a second. Garcia tore a paper towel off the roll on the counter and held it out to him.

“Here.” He took it with a questioning glance. “You’re gonna sneeze,” she said. He didn’t feel like he was—oh, yes, he was definitely about to sneeze.

hehTSHHoo! hhTschhoo!

“Bless you.”

“Thahh hhAHHtschhoo! Thank you.” He wiped his nose gingerly, feeling the itch still toying with him. “How’d you know I was going to sneeze?”

“You have a tell,” Garcia said, filling the tea pot and putting it on the stove. “Your eyebrows do a thing.”

“Channeling your inner Madame Bouvier?” Hotch asked with a sniffle.

“I never reveal my secrets," she said with a wink. "Isn’t Madame Bouvier the best?” Garcia asked. “I first met her at a chakra healing class at the learning annex in Georgetown a few years ago. We exchanged information and then I went to her for a palm reading a couple weeks later. I get a tarot reading done at least twice a year and before any—”

Hotch did his best to listen, but his nose was starting to run…and tickle. He was rapidly feeling worse as the evening wore on. His throat was genuinely painful and a headache was starting to settle behind his eyes. Garcia had just mentioned something about tarot cards when he turned his back to her and sneezed into the crumpled paper towel.

hhNgschhoo! hehNTschh! heh ehhSNTschhoo!

“Gesundheit! You okay, Hotch?” He tried to waive off her concern but realized he was suffering through a proper sneezing fit—something that always signaled the arrival of a bad head cold.

Ngtschh! NTSCHH! heh Ehh HehKTschhoo!

Aaron felt her hand come to rest on his back and she gasped.

“Your suit is wet!” she said. “You’ve got to be chilled through. It is raining kittens and poodles out there, you’re already fighting a cold, and you’ve been standing around in damp clothes for an hour.” She was in full mother hen mode now and as much as Hotch wanted to assure her that he was fine, any protest would have been severely undercut by the fact that he was still sneezing.

Heh huhEhh hhKSCHHoo! hehTSHHoo! hhTschhoo!

“My goodness. Bless you, boss man!” Penelope grabbed him a couple fresh paper towels and handed them him. Aaron nodded his thanks and was finally able to blow his nose and halt the sneezing fit.

“I’b so sorry, Garcia,” he said.

“No apology needed. You’ve been fighting it for a couple days. Not surprised it’s finally caught up with you tonight.”

“Another tell?” he asked.

“What can I say? I’m very observant.” She got three mugs down from the cupboard. “Jack and I are having hot chocolate, but something tells me you could use a cup of tea instead.”

“That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Penelope.”

She was about to suggest he go change when the telltale noise of Darth Vader’s respirator began drawing close. A perfect miniature Darth Vader appeared around the corner with a dramatic swish.

“Wow! You look incredible, buddy,” Hotch said.

“And scary?” Jack asked.

“Very scary,” Hotch confirmed.

“Terrifying,” Garcia confirmed.

HehTSCHHoo! hehAhhNTSCHHOOO!

Aaron doubled over with a wrenching sneeze. Jack pulled his helmet off and frowned.

“Are you sick, Daddy?”

“Just a little cold, Jack. Nothing that will interfere with trick-or-treating tomorrow night. I promise.”

“But now your daddy is going to go take a shower and put on some dry clothes. Isn’t he?” Garcia asked with a raised eyebrow. Hotch raised his hands in surrender. “If you change out of your costume we’ll have hot chocolate before I go home,” she said to Jack.

“Okay. Thank you, Aunt Penelope.”

“Yes. Thank you, Penelope,” Aaron said, squeezing her shoulder as he made his way towards his room.

Garcia smiled. It was good to be the Hotchner Family Fairy Godmother.

[Chanel_no5]

I know this is frowned upon, but - while not being into male sneezing, I absolutely love this story because, well... I loved that scene, and it screamed to be used for a sneeze fic, and your writing and character interpretation are absolutely flawless as always. Amazing work.

Garcia smiled. It was good to be the Hotchner Family Fairy Godmother.

And this is the sweetest ever.

Edited January 12, 2015 by Chanel_no5

[silentdreamer789]

This is awesome! It's great as a one-shot, but if you ever feel inspired to add another scene with Hotch battling through trick or treating... I totally wouldn't mind. Just saying

[darkness-is-the-light]

I was so excited to see that you put up another Criminal MInds story. They are truly beautiful. Your writing is absolutely fantastic! Thank you for putting this up. It is greatly appreciated over here.

[AntheaHolmes]

Oh my, Halloween and a caring Garcia with a sneezy Hotch and Jack! Oh adorable!