The Littlest Dwarf (The Hobbit, Kili 3/4)

[lillian]

Hello all! I've been slacking, I know. But look! I did a thing! I have this headcanon that Kili has decidedly undersized sneezes for a dwarf, and the others love to tease him about it.

Part I

The company had been walking through rocky fields for days. The landscape was starkly beautiful, dramatic boulders and bone-white trees towered over the grass. The weather was mild, and the wind caressed their hair when it blew. The dwarves’ spirits were lifted. They picked up interesting stones from the path and passed them around. The rocks sparkled in the sun.

“Fairy dust!” Said Ori, clapping two of them together above his head. A cloud of shimmering particles rained down. Even Thorin cracked a smile.

Everyone seemed happier. Their heads were lifted towards the sky, drinking in the sunlight. They didn’t drag their feet. That is, everyone except Kili.

Kili sniffed, rubbing his nose and scowling. It had been itching all morning, and he knew it was turning red.

“What’d your nose ever do t’ you? You’re going to rub it right off your face!” Fili said, sending an elbow to his brother’s ribs. “You only get one you know!”

Kili’s scowl deepened. “Shove off,” he spat, quickening his pace.

“Aw, looks like someone’s in a bit of a mood,” Bofur said. “Feelin’ alright, then? You can always talk to me if you need to get something off your chest!” He and Fili roared with laughter. Bilbo, dawdling in the back of the group, looked up. He held a pretty white rock in one hand and a shiny gold one in the other. He was terribly excited about the latter. It was bumpy and rough, but glinted with riches.

“Leave me alone,” Kili said, dark eyes narrowed. Fili raised his eyebrows.

“Sure, little brother.

An hour of walking later, Kili had fallen to the back, near Bilbo. He was beginning to feel congested, and no amount of sniffing would abate the tickle that feathered through his sinuses and down his nasal passages.

“Are you alright, Kili?” Bilbo asked, looking up at him. Kili paused, mid nose rub.

“Yes, of course,” Kili replied, refraining from sniffing again.

“Is your nose bothering you?” Bilbo ventured. He had no knowledge of the mechanics of dwarf noses, but Kili was knuckling his rather hard, and had been since they broke camp that morning. Kili’s eyes widened. Hobbits were such peculiar creatures. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude—“ Bilbo trailed off, blushing slightly.

“No, that’s alright…” Kili trailed off, his eyes glazing over. Bilbo opened his mouth to say something when Kili’s breath hitched. Bilbo steeled himself for the explosion that was probably going to follow. “Hehh… ihh… itschhoo!” Kili caught it in the crook of his arm.

“Bless you!” Bilbo said, looking at him quizzically. It was nothing like any of the dwarf sneezes he’d heard previously. It was quite normal-sized, actually.

Kili sniffled, much wetter this time, and murmured his thanks.

“BLESS YOU!” Fili roared from farther up the line. “I’m not sure if anyone heard, but me little brother just sneezed!”

“h’ekkchh!”

“There he goes again! Quite a doozy, that.” The other dwarves laughed with him.

“Bless you again!” Bilbo said, searching his pockets for a handkerchief. He paused. “Oh dear me, I’m afraid I don’t have a handkerchief to lend you…” Kili smiled.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his consonants the slightest bit dulled. “I don’t need one.” Yet…

Edited January 11, 2015 by lillian

[Coffee Chicken Barista]

........KILIIIIII!I!!!!!!!!!!!! I was literally about to write in a request for a Kili coldfic when I saw this story! This made my night! YAY!!!!!!!!!! The only way I could love this more is if this were Kili/Fili but I know that's not everyone's thing so this is wonderful!

[Arty]

Awwww KILI!!! I love him and this headcannon is genius!!!!

[lillian]

Wow! Quick feedback! Thanks guys, you rock

[SterlingSilver]

The teasing is so precious <3 I am in love with how adorable his sneezes are and how much of a good time everyone is having with it >w< xDD Well done! I adore this!

[SneezeyLove]

This has got to be one of the cutest and funniest headcanons I've ever seen! Kili being all ashamed and then snarky Fili making fun but still caring..! GAH! Excuse me while I gush over this and continue to reread it...

[Garnet]

Oh my god, that's hysterical. You've got the banter down perfectly, great characterization of the company. And a very cute headcanon. Definitely looking forward to more!

[Masking]

Oh my god, KÍLI. This is adorable. I wish I could be there to take care of Kíli's poor itchy nose. And see the Dwarves get their comeuppance with massive sneezes of their own. (Just the thought of exactly how Bilbo found out how explosive they are...rawr!)

Edited January 11, 2015 by Masking

[Evilduckling108]

Yay! I love Kili and this is so perfect! I love how Fili's teasing, but still concerned and it's just so adorable and GAH this is wonderful!

[Guest]

Kili, yay!!! This is amazing so far, the characterization is spot-on, I can't wait to hear more

[beatlelover22]

Awww I love this headcannon... poor Kíli! I hope you decide to continue if you're up to it, I enjoyed reading the story The dwarves' teasing is just perfect!

[lillian]

Some fatherly Thorin fluff

Part II

The company stopped at dusk. Óin and Glóin got to work on the fire, which Kíli was rather looking forward to. He’d begun to shiver as the sun set. He was crouched at his pack, digging around for his bowl, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Kíli,” Thorin said. Kíli looked up, the quick movement causing a pang to run through his head. He clenched his teeth to avoid a wince.

“Yes, Uncle?”

“I need you to take first watch tonight. In this open country, your sharp eyes should be able to spot any sign of trouble,” Thorin said, searching Kíli’s face. His nephew nodded, perhaps a touch more vigorously than needed.

“Aye,” he replied, reddening when it came out in a husky croak. He cleared his throat and swallowed thickly. Thorin raised an eyebrow. Before he could utter a word, Kíli was on his feet. “Aye,” he said, more clearly and with his usual slightly dramatic gusto. “I’ll do first watch. I’ll catch ady—” he paused for an earth-shattering moment as his consonants failed him. Thorin’s brows furrowed when the young dwarf scrubbed at his nose. “—thing that threatens our camp!”

“Are you well?” Thorin asked, scrutinizing his face. He’d noticed how hard Kíli had been rubbing his nose, almost as if he were trying to rid it of something.

“Of course I’m well, Uncle!” Kíli said. Thorin frowned.

“If you need rest, you will make it known to me,” he demanded, his voice hard. “Someone will relieve you.”

“Yes—but I won’t need to,” Kíli insisted. Thorin sighed and looked out into the fields.

“This is Orc territory. They can move fast here in the open. Be watchful.” He gave Kíli a resounding clap on the shoulder and went to find his own bowl.

Edited January 11, 2015 by lillian

[Coffee Chicken Barista]

*whimpers* This is so cute!

[KickingUpTheDust]

GUH. Kili ^-^ need more of Kili goodness.

[Arty]

Hnnnnnghhhhhh Thorin!!!!!! I know he know that kili knows he's ill. *Insert care taking* God kili...you're killin' me with the cuteness.

[lillian]

Thank you for your continued support!

Part III

Kíli did not have the stomach for dinner. He pushed his food around with his spoon, frowning at it as if it had done him a great wrong. He sniffled against the buzz in his sinuses. Not here. Not around the fire with everyone… He rubbed his nose on his shoulder, the soft fabric of his tunic scratchy against his raw nostrils.

“Looks like Kíli’s bitty nosie has the itchies!” Dori said around a mouthful of stew. The company, excepting Kíli and Bilbo, burst into laughter. Bilbo frowned, but shoved a spoonful of stew into his mouth instead of speaking.

Kíli’s breath caught, and he held his bowl steady as he flinched into his fist.

“ep’kshhoo!”

“Keep it down!”

“You’ll wake the elves in Mirkwood!”

“I’ve never heard such a sneeze!”

“Hehh…”

“Ah, poor lad’s not done. Hold on to your stew!”

Bilbo shot him a look of pity. Kíli seemed miserable. His red nose was twitching, and his eyes, glassy with tears, were squinting into the fire, trying desperately to sneeze and have done with the ridicule.

“Huhhh… hut’schhouu!” A small sniffle. “ap’schhhyuu! H-hheh! Ahh… ashh’chhh!” Kíli recovered slowly, blinking blearily at the fire.

“Mercy me!”

“Quite the show!”

Fíli, seated beside him, slung an arm around his shoulders.

“If only he sneezed as loud as he snores!” He said, pulling him close.

“Bless you,” Bilbo said, frowning at the others.

“Don’ fret, Bilbo,” Ori said, bumping his shoulder and nearly upsetting his bowl of stew. “Dwarves are tough.”

“We’re only teasing,” Bofur added. Kíli sniffled wetly and wiped his nose on his sleeve, eyes still glued to the fire.

“Someone get the laddie a scrap of cloth to blow his nose in,” Balin said, his smile fading as he shared a worried look with Thorin.

“Kíli,” the Dwarf King began.

“Fine,” Kíli said. “I’m fine.”

“Alright, no one rip your trousers apart, I’ve got a hanky here somewhere…” Fíli announced, digging through the pockets in his tunic. “…ha!” He plucked out a carefully folded square of cloth and handed it to his brother.

Kíli had no shame in blowing forcefully, if not very loudly. Bilbo winced as the dwarf rested his elbows on his knees and blew with all his might, producing a gurgle that soon petered off into a hoarse honk. He wiped his nose and tucked the cloth away into his tunic.

“All better?” Fíli asked. Kíli nodded. Feeling Thorin’s eyes on him, he sighed.

“I’m fine, Uncle.” He said, fixing him with a dark-eyed glare. “You de—“ he sniffled brusquely, shaking his head to clear it. “You need not worry.” Thorin grunted, turning back to his stew.

“ah—haatschhhhew!”

Thorin started and dropped his spoon, spattering stew all over his tunic.

“Bless, laddie,” Balin said. Kíli retrieved his handkerchief

“Thank you,” he murmured and gave another thick blow.

Thorin leaned to his side and murmured something in Dori’s ear. Dori nodded. The Dwarf King got to his feet, all eyes turning to him.

“Have we any ale?” He asked. Bombur nodded.

“Aye, we’ve got some left.”

“Well let’s bring it out then,” Thorin paused, trying his best not to stare directly at Kíli. “I think some ale will do us all good,” he said.

Edited January 11, 2015 by lillian

[Masking]

Poor cold-ridden Kíli. I love this! Oh god, and even DORI gets in on the teasing.

Edited January 11, 2015 by Masking

[Coffee Chicken Barista]

NNnggg....SO CUTE!

[SneezeyLove]

D'aww, this is so cute! Poor Kili, all the other dwarves are so mean! Maybe Fili will get what's coming to him....

[TaurielRiver]

“Keep it down!”

“You’ll wake the elves in Mirkwood!”

“I’ve never heard such a sneeze!”

Kiliiiii!

Awww, this is so cute and very funny too! I was totally grinning the whole time whilst reading! And I especially loved this little bit- "you'll wake the elves in Mirkwood!"

[Vintagedarling]

This is super adorable!!! AWESOME!!!!

[Akahana]

Holy shit I love all of this. I love that dwarves usually have loud, booming sneezes so Kili's normal sneezes are adorable. I love that everyone teases him about it, especially his brother. And I love that even though they tease him they are still observant and worried for their youngest party member (other than maybe Bilbo)

So much babies I love <3

[longtimeblonde]

Aww I love this! Can't wait for the next part:D Kiliiii xx

[spirkestielgirl87]

I was so glad to have found this! I have longed for a sick Kili. Can't wait for more!

[Arty]

Ahhhhh baby's all sick and stuff. And i expected nothing less outta bilbo and thorin so awesome job with their concetn amd characterization.