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Vintagedarling

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This is my first time on this side of the 'forum fence,' aka my first fanfic. So this was inspired by a dream. I was 'over the moon,' I've been wishing for a Spiderman dream, and surprise bonus, he did sneeze!!! And then typical cliché, my alarm clock went off, dragging me kicking and screaming to consciousness. So a little detail, it's a first person perspective (a strong character) of their encounter with a sick 'Spidey.' And right off the bat, it's was hard to write a 'Spiderman,' fanfic. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE 'Spiderman,' that's why I trudged the trenches anyway. So here ya go...

Stuck in a Web (Spiderman)

Late, I was already late. My sides heaved with my exertion as I sprinted down the street, weaving between the locals in a rush. Rounding the corner onto Time Square. I was jarred by people rushing pass me, knocking me down.

"Hey!" I yelled, to the retreating mob. Huffing, "Geez, I swear, New Yorkers," I muttered under my breath putting my purse back on my arm, I began collecting the spilled contents from the street.

"Lookout!"

Someone yelled, but I was to focused on grabbing my things, and that's when someone grabbed me hugging me to their chest, pulling me up. I watched as I was pulled above my discarded things. To shocked to scream, I twisted to look at who was manhandling me.

Then I screamed.

"Let me go!" I shrieked at the red and blue clad figure.

"Well that's a long way down. Personally, I wouldn't recommend letting go of you right now. Besides I'm your 'Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman.'

Climbing higher with his up swing, I looked down.

Bad idea.

I watched as my little antique gold compact mirror stayed on the ground as I got further away. Instinctually, I dug my fingernails into his back, wrapping my legs around his waist, hugging myself to him. This was met with a pained grunt from him.

"Careful I'm ticklish," he chuckled.

Not finding that funny I tightened my hold.

Another grunt.

After my compact had disappeared from sight, something else caught my eye.

The reason everyone was running, it wasn't because they were late.

"Faster, go faster!" I cried.

"What do you think I've been doing? Hold on."

My snark finally came to my rescue, "What do you think I'VE been doing?"

He laughed.

I felt secured to him with his arm around around me, until he let go, raising it to rub a finger at his mask.

In a panic, "Don't drop me!" I shrieked.

"Easy, I can feel your nails digging into my dermis, I couldn't dislodge you if I... HIIIHhhh... s-shook myself like a wet d-dog," he hitched.

That's when I realized he was rubbing where his nose would be.

He suddenly inhaled, "HHHHEEEHHH!!!" And exhaled, "HHHHEEEESSSSHHHHEEEUUU!!!"

I grimaced.

Sniffling, "Hey, it's not like you're the one sneezing in your face mask."

Before I could grumble out a comeback the creature behind us shrieked, capturing my undivided attention.

"W-what is that t-thing?" I stammered.

Sniffling, "Th-that's Sauron, the only Dinosaur-thing from the Savage Land, bent on world domination."

"Hasn't he heard Extinction is 'in' right now," I mocked.

"Ha! Not bad," he chuckled.

Looking for a way out, "Why don't you just put me down, so you can play with Sauerkraut... Sau-a-tron, whatever his name is, by yourself?"

He pointed down between us.

"Honestly, that was the plan, but now, I won't have time to safely set you aside, without risk of Sauron snatching you up. Sorry."

His webbing connected us chest, to chest. My business blazer and blouse to his red suit.

"Ewww," I moaned, "Why would you do that?"

"It wasn't on purpose, it was involuntary... When I snee-"

I screeched, "This is your mucus!"

"Kinda, kinda not, it's my webbing, organic now, but that's another story. It shoots out voluntarily, and well as you can see involuntarily, from my wrists," he huffed.

I couldn't look away from the deluge of webbing between us, I could feel the look of 'horror' as it twisted my face up, "Bless you," I grumbled.

Sniffling, "T-than- EEEEEIIIIISSSSHHHHHOOOO!!!" I watched as webbing shot out of his wrists, giving way to much slack, we dropped.

I screamed.

Sniffing liquidly, "Thangk you," his voice heavily congested. Using the dip he quickly swung us behind a brownstone into the back alley, darting through the close fire-escapes. I held tight and closed my eyes.

"Gross," I whispered into his chest.

The dinosaur guy screeched, when he couldn't follow us. I opened my eyes to see.

Nothing, he was gone.

Confused, "Where-" I was only able to get out the one word of question before I had my answer. He was in front of us!

"Ssssspiderman, a bug like you cannot sssssstop me!" Dino-guys voice hissed.

"If Kazar can take you in a loincloth, I'm pretty sure I can take you out with my hands full," he quipped.

Increasing his speed to swing us up and over the flying dinosaur. Swiftly turning, he webbed the dinosaurs mouth shut. The creatures eyes blazed red, most of the sticky webbing tore off when he stretched his mouth open.

Continuing to swing us through New York, dodging the giant buildings, "Don't look in his eyes, he'll control your mind," Spiderman warned me.

I'd had it.

Reaching my arm around him I found my little address book in my purse, and chucked it at our pursuer, hitting the Dino-guy in the eye.

He screeched, eyes changing from a glowing red, back to yellow.

Without hesitating, I searched for more ammo, coming back with my heavy makeup bag, which was then hurled too. Nailing him in the face.

"You'll pay for harming Ssssauron, human," he roared, before getting hit in the snout with my heel, that I'd yanked off my foot while he jabbered.

"Nice s-shot... Hhhaaaahhh... AAAASSSHHHEEEEOOOO!!!"

"Thanks," I wheezed, "I was pitcher in the Little Brownies Softball League."

Sauron fumed, flapping his wings faster, gaining on us.

My stomach flopped as Spiderman dropped us, just in time for claws to only swipe air, and not flesh.

Sniffling, "I take it you're not from around here," he questioned.

"Just moved out here from California, got the opportunity of a lifetime from my law-firm. Only hitch was I had to move here to the Big Apple," I shrugged, glancing at my wristwatch, remembering, "Oh, no!"

"What, what is it?" Spiderman questioned, head swiveling around, looking for new threats.

"Late, I'm late on my first day!" I shrieked.

"I'm sure they'll give you a pass, considering the- HHHEEEHHHH... HHHRRRAASSSHHEEOOO!!! Circumstances," he sniffled.

"Not good enough," I fumed, turning back to face Sauron, "look, pal, I'm already late, and my outfit is ruined, if you don't stop now, I don't know what I'll do, but I can guarantee it won't end well for you," I called out.

"You don't control Sssssauron, human!" He screeched back.

Fine.

"He asked for it," I muttered.

"HHHEEHHhhh..." Spidermans breath hitched in response.

My stomach lurched as we dropped, and arched in an upswing, again.

Now.

Clutching Spiderman for support, I chucked my purse at Sauron nailing him hard in the face, where the open purse got stuck.

"Whoo-hoo!" I cheered at my victory.

"HHHAAAASSSSHHHHEEEEUUU!!!"Was Spidermans reply.

Quickly spinning in air, Spiderman webbed my purse in place to Saurons face.

The winged dino-guy, tried to scratch off the webs to remove my makeshift 'purse blindfold,' but each time he stopped flapping his wings he dropped. Forcing him to continue flapping his wings to stay airborne, and not plummet to the traffic below.

However, his speech was uninhibited.

"How dare you, human-" Sauron screeched.

With Sauron unable to see, and attack, angling it just right, Spiderman arched up, with a kick to Saurons beak. Cutting off his ranting.

Sauron, fell, unconscious.

Diving down, we went after him, hands free, I clung to Spiderman, closing my eyes.

When he stopped, I opened my eyes one at a time.

To find us standing on the roof of a building, Sauron all webbed up.

I sagged against him in relief.

"Pit' dger, you said," voice heavy with congestion, Spiderman chuckled.

I winced, "You seriously need to blow your nose."

Knuckling his nose through his mask, "No'dt in the mask."

With "ground" beneath us I unwrapped my legs from around him, and shoved at his hard chest, he didn't budge, the webbing keeping us stuck together.

"Th'dis won't disolv'be for ano'ber two hours, sorry," he murmured.

"Ugh!" I grumbled.

"HHHEEEHHH!!!"

Quickly placing my finger where I'd seen him rubbing his nose.

"HHHEEHHHUUHHhhh... Thangks," he sighed.

I grumbled, under my breath. After a few moments, his breathing evened out, and his nose stopped twitching against my finger. I slowly removed my finger.

"So wanna play I-Spy?" His chest rumbled with laughter.

"Maybe another time," I smiled at his attempt at lite-heartedness, and began shimming out of my webbed blazer and blouse.

Free, I looked down and blushed. My under shirt read 'Caught in his Web,' with a picture of Spiderman on it.

"Oh the irony," I smirked.

He snorted in laughter, "What a day to wear that."

Reaching back into my blazer I grabbed my phone, wallet, keys, and my handkerchief from the inside pocket. Luckily, things I'd kept on me when I dashed out of my apartment, rather then my purse.

"Here," I shoved the handkerchief into his hands, turning away to give him privacy to clear his sinuses, and check my phone.

Yup, four missed calls from the new boss. I sighed.

When the sound of honking stopped I turned around. Spiderman was finishing adjusting his mask back into place.

"Thangks," voice still congested, he offered me the handkerchief back.

"Ew, nope, that's all yours," I waved him off.

"Knew this suit had flaws, no pockets," lifting a section he tucked the handkerchief into his latex bottoms, "what building were you headed to?"

"Stark Tower," I sighed.

Before I realized it, I was back in his arms, with the city far below me.

"No, no, no! Put me back down!" I wailed.

"Easy, I'm not going to drop you, the Tower's just around the corner," he said calmly.

"Easy for you to say," I mocked.

He was right, just on the other side of a skyscraper was the massive building with a giant 'Stark Industries' on the top of the building. Rather then dropping me off at the front door, he landed us on the outside of a huge window, stories above the entrance. I was in awe of how he could stick to the smooth window.

That moment of awe didn't last long, when I saw a meeting going on, on the other side of the window.

I could feel heat flood my cheeks in embarrassment.

"Hey Tony! Sorry, I took your new employee for a swing around the city, she helped me take down Sauron," Spiderman called out to Tony Stark.

I watched as Mr. Stark strode to the window and opened it, reaching out, Spiderman transferred me over.

I wobbled when my feet hit the ground, Stark caught me, holding me up.

"I see, Spidey. Though next time, leave her with her land-legs," Stark chuckled.

Everything became a blur after that, Spiderman, and Tony Stark talked a bit more, I was questioned 'if I was alright.'

Stark let me skip my meetings for the day after the 'excitement' with Spiderman, and poked a joke or two about my ironic shirt. I was shown my new window office, where I shut the door and collapsed on the ground. Soaking everything that had happened in.

Then came a knock.

But it wasn't from the door behind me, but from the window. Getting up I slowly strolled over, and opened one of the large windows. To find a swaying basket hanging by a web.

Pulling the basket in, closing the window, I placed it on my desk, the contents were all my things, things I'd chucked at Sauron, my heirloom gold compact, the blazer, and blouse with a dry-clean 'thank you' slip, and a couple new things, a new handkerchief, and a map of New York, with a note:

'Thanks for the assistance earlier, and for the handkerchief. Glad to have you here in the Big Apple, hope to see you around. Sincerely, your Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman.'

I smiled, things were looking up.

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Oh my gods yes. This story is great and fun to read. Thank you for posting it here.

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This reads just like a Spidey comic! You have captured the goofy nature of the humor, and it's delightful.

"Hey, it's not like you're the one sneezing in your face mask."

^^Haha, this made me laugh. And it reminds me of a dream tidbit I had of Spidey lifting his mask up to sneeze.

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