Louder Than Words - Secret Santa for beatlelover22 (Avengers - Clint, Clint/Natasha)

[Masking]

Happy holidays, and I hope you enjoy it!

~

Moi dorogoi,

V etam gadu

Ya tebya lyublyu, no (1)

Natasha growled and set her pen aside. What the hell kind of idea was this, anyway? Love letters? To freaking Clint, no less. She’d thought that writing in Russian would make her a little less sappy (and would also distinctly lessen the possibility that Tony would find her written feelings and twit her about them), but no…even in her native tongue, levelheadedness seemed beyond her.

And the thing that precipitated her outbreak of sappiness had been, well…Clint’s stupid cold. Not a declaration of love on his part, or a bunch of flowers with a foldable knife hidden inside (which she would have at least wanted, if not accepted from him) or some kind of priceless jewelry. No, she’d gone all mushy because he was sneezing a million times a day and she couldn’t help overhearing it.

“Hnnn…huUHH…hh’FSCHH!”

This time, she slammed the pen down. “Would you go lie down or something?” she snapped in Clint’s general direction. No matter where in Stark Tower she went today, he was following her. Most recently, he’d draped himself over the nearest couch with tissues at hand and way more decongestants than were recommended even by those who used the things off-label – and right now, he was vigorously making use of the former in a way that made it clear the latter wasn’t working at all. Not that Natasha’s mushy insides really minded.

“I’b sick,” Clint whined, using that tone of voice that roughly translated to ‘I should really be leaking all over my own pillows, but I’ll be lonely if I stay in my room, because apparently, I’m a barnacle.’ “I’b lyi’g dowd here.”

“Yeah, and annoying me. Go sneeze somewhere else.” Natasha couldn’t help shivering when she said ‘sneeze.’ Clint – and very few others, she hastened to add, even to herself – tended to have that effect on her when he had a cold, or when Dr. Foster brought over a bunch of pollen-heavy flowers for Thor.

“Lea’be alode,” Clint said, his tone pleading. “I get bored id by roob…”

Natasha sighed. “Snotface. Go blow your nose, at least, and don’t make me tell you again.” She crossed her legs at the ankles and steadfastly tried not to think of how red his nose must be right about now. With someone as pasty as Clint, it always showed up like a stoplight.

“HNGSHHH!”

Ugh. Ugh, ugh, he was doing that thing she couldn’t stand. Whenever Clint tried to stifle, he ended up sort of snorting the sneeze back up into his nose and reminding Natasha – disgustingly – of the way the Hulk sneezed. She’d found that out when Bruce was in a crumbling building at the wrong time, and she’d never been the same again. “Quit fucking doing that!” she heard herself snap.

“Whad?”

This time, she got up out of her chair and went to stand in front of him. “The thing. Stifling, whatever. You sound disgusting when you do that.” His nose was pink, and so were his eyes, and so were his lips. In fact, they were a hell of a lot fuller than usual, and she wanted to bite them quite a bit.

Clint’s eyes began to water, a signal that he was about to sneeze if there ever was one. “Hhh..fuck…hhh’h’FSSSHT!”

“Chyort vaz’mi,” Natasha said, rolling her eyes, “mnye nado vs’yo dyelat’ sama vot zdyes,”and kissed him. (2)

It was perfect. His lips were wet and his nose, which had been snuffly only minutes before, wrinkled with the most gorgeous wet noise right next to her ear. Although he stiffened in surprise when their lips met, he didn’t pull away – in fact, within seconds, his hands were clamped tight on the ridges of her hips, and his mouth was open, with his tongue eagerly pressing against hers.

Natasha would have been quite happy to have it last forever, but unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. “Whad the hell was thad for?” Clint asked, breaking away and coughing into one fist. He snorted, made a face, and wiped a hand against his nose; it was running like a river. If Natasha had a bandana or something at hand, she would have wiped it herself; tissues just seemed too damn plebeian for a cold as magnificent as his.

“Because I felt like it,” she answered. “Do I really need another reason?” If nothing else, it was a truth. She wasn’t among those who whined about how omission was just another form of a lie – the Red Room had trained that out of her, and it was a dumbass opinion, anyway.

Clint seemed to consider that for a second, hand still against his nose. “Well, I liked it.” He grinned at her and snuffled again, grabbing a tissue and blowing his nose loudly into it. “Cad we do it agaid?”

Natasha obliged, perching herself on the arm of the couch and kissing him thoroughly once more. This time, he was ready. His arms pulled her down into his lap and he tilted them both back against the firm cushions without breaking the kiss, a talent she had to admire in spite of her fuzzy-headed state. He was a good kisser: not too wet (except for his nose, which she didn’t mind at all), not too hard, and definitely not too forceful. There was little she hated more than a man who thought her curls and curves were a legitimate reason to take control.

And then Clint sneezed again, turning away and sending vibrations into her bones as he did so. “Ah – hh’ITSCHH!” He sneezed openly this time, seemingly unable to get his fist up. Natasha watched his nose release a thin, almost invisible mist into the air, and stood up before she could see where it landed.

“You’ll get me sick,” she said. As pleasant as it was to watch him, she couldn’t afford to experience those symptoms himself.

“I’b ndot co’dtagious adybore.” Clint shot her a sly smile. “JARVIS said so. Cub od, get back over here.”

Natasha would have dearly liked to do so, but she was more practical than the average human. Instead, she contented herself with grinning at him, catlike as usual. “Bud’ zdorov’,” (3 she said, in lieu of a proper response, and sauntered away. Love letters could wait; actions, as usual, were infinitely preferable to words.

~

Russian translations:

(1) a) My dear

This year...

c) I love you, but...

(2) Goddammit, do I have to do everything around here myself?

(3) Bless you

Edited December 30, 2014 by Masking

[AnteatersOnParade]

Oh I really like this a lot! Great dynamic between the two!

[SneezyHolmes]

Aww this is so cute! I love it!

[darkness-is-the-light]

I've always loved them together. They're so good together. Great job.

[Anonymouse]

Another Clint/Natasha secret santa?! It's a Christmas miracle! This was perfect, Masking. You've nailed their dynamic. I love sick, clingy "barnacle" Clint and reluctantly in love but still firm Nat.

[beatlelover22]

Of course I'm the last to reply to this, Masking! I'm so sorry, I've been on holiday for a little over a week! First of all, this was in all ways PERFECT. I love how you do Clint's sneezing and Natasha's attitude towards them was so realistic. Awww... Secondly, I just want to say thank you SO MUCH for writing this! You're a brilliant writer and I'm going to enjoy reading it over and over haha Thank you so much!! <3