Chocolate - Harry Potter (Lupin) [4/4]

[AdrianMarx]

Basically, all I can do right now is write Harry Potter even though I have a gazillion threads on here unfinished oops

---

Professor R. J. Lupin

Remus observed his battered old suitcase feeling in equal parts excitement and anxiety. Despite the exhaustion brought on by both the recent full moon and the cold lurking in his chest, he caught himself bouncing slightly on his heels at the prospect of returning to Hogwarts after all this time. He wondered how he would address his fellow staff members, many of whom had taught him at school. In particular, he wondered how Severus Snape would take to his appointment. Poorly, he would imagine. Though perhaps very poorly would be closer to the mark.

As he reached for his case, a tickle seized him rather suddenly and he had to reach for his handkerchief instead, barely managing to clamp it to his nose before sneezing harshly.

"hhNGISHHOO!"

Remus rubbed his pink nose with the soft cloth, feeling all the worse for wear, and lifted his case wearily. Following a fairly lengthy internal debate, he'd come to the conclusion that apparating was the only surefire way of getting there in one piece. He was unable to afford the Knight Bus - unable even to afford a roof over his head most nights - and too stuffy for floo powder to be a reliable method of transportation. Unfortunately he was, also, too ill to travel very far under his own steam.

So, he'd come to the conclusion that he'd apperate to King's Cross station and take the Hogwarts Express. He stuffed his handkerchief into his pocket and took one last look at himself in the hostel mirror. His shirt was old and patched twice but the best he owned and the state of his cuffs was not worth discussing. His trousers had seen better days and his shoes were scuffed and worn. Even dressed in his best robes, he knew he'd look shabby next to the other professors and even next to the students. But, frankly, he felt too run down to give it much thought.

Pulling out his wand, he closed his eyes and said goodbye to homelessness for the foreseeable future.

~

This was not King's Cross.

Upon finding himself in a toilet cubicle, dizzy and spent, Remus had had little choice but to take a seat on the floor and let his breath come back to him. His head spun and his ears buzzed and there was a horrible moment where he thought he might be sick but the nausea backed off when he pressed his cheek against the cool, tiled wall of the cubicle and took deep, calming breaths. He was beginning to doubt he’d be fit for this journey.

Heaving himself to stand once more, Remus quickly tucked his wand away, washed his hands to prevent staring from surrounding muggles, and made his way out into the main body of the station. Many of the signs were printed in both English and French and announcements were made in both languages. People bustled around him, paying him little notice as they rushed in all directions.

Remus located his handkerchief again and leaned back against the nearest wall, stifling as best he could to prevent drawing attention to himself.

"hh..iSHngh! hhISHmp! heh'NGKH!"

When he straightened up, his head felt a little clearer. Keeping his handkerchief clutched tight in his hand, he made a beeline for the station door and found himself gazing up at a sign proclaiming this to be "St. Pancras International." He wiped his nose absently. This was certainly not a positive start to the journey.

Feeling defeated, he wandered back inside, wiping his dripping nose periodically and sniffling wetly as he made his way to the information desk. He cleared his throat and asked as clearly as he could where he might find King’s Cross. The man behind the counter – who couldn’t have been a day over twenty – smiled politely and pointed towards a large revolving door on his left saying, “It’s just across the street. Have a nice journey.”

Remus thanked him breathlessly and managed to make it seven whole steps before he doubled over into his handkerchief again, muffling powerful sneezes so violently that they couldn’t be heard over the chattering and rumbling of the station. When he glanced back, he caught the young man smiling still, but this time with a touch of sympathy.

Once he’d made it past the throngs of people to the spinning doorway, he found he could see the railway sign on the building across the street. Relief thundered through him and he hurried across the street as fast as his legs would carry him, desperate to get out of the biting chill. King’s Cross, much to Remus’ dismay, was no warmer.

It took a moment for his head to clear enough to read the signs hanging overhead and a second or two longer for his brain to make the connection between the arrow pointing towards platforms nine through twelve and the direction in which he had to move.

The first thing Remus noticed about the muggles in King’s Cross was that they were much less forgiving than the muggles just across the street. They barged past him with impatient rudeness, muttering under their breaths and grumbling to themselves endlessly. Some shot him passing glares when they noticed the redness of his itchy nose, adorned with a well-used white handkerchief. The looks of disgust on their faces did not bother him; he’d grown used to being despised and shunned for what he was.

There was, however, the odd woman (usually keeping a firm grip on the hand of a young child) who’d smile at him pitifully as they hurried by.

The walk to platforms nine and ten was further than Remus remembered and he had to stop several times along the way to catch his wheezing breath. At long last, having practically stumbled through the barrier, he saw the welcoming sight of the Hogwarts Express before him, promising a comfortable seat and the chance to rest in the warmth of its carriages.

It didn’t take him long to find an empty compartment. Moving automatically, he changed swiftly into his robes and tossed his battered case into the overhead storage compartment before drawing the sliding door shut behind him. Giving his nose one last productive blow, he shoved his handkerchief into his pocket and pulled his robes tightly around himself in an attempt to stem the shivers. He sank gratefully into the seat by the window, leaning his forehead against the cool glass briefly before finding a comfortable position. As sleep took him, he heard footsteps passing by the door, shuffling and scuffing quietly along.

Edited December 29, 2014 by AdrianMarx

[uniquelyme]

This is soooooo adorable I cannot even!!!! Lupin is my favorite character and this is just too cuuuuute. I must say that I am extremely excited to see that this is part 1 of 4 meaning that there is more to come thank you so much for writing this adorable fic!!

[Dusty15]

Cue me melting into a pile of happy goo

I will NEVER get enough Remus Lupin fic in my life and it warms every corner of me to see this sudden revival of popularity! *hugs AdrianMarx forever* A Christmas miracle!

[AngelEyes]

I love this start. Poor dear Remus.

[AdrianMarx]

This is soooooo adorable I cannot even!!!! Lupin is my favorite character and this is just too cuuuuute. I must say that I am extremely excited to see that this is part 1 of 4 meaning that there is more to come thank you so much for writing this adorable fic!!

Gosh, he's mine too. He's such a little cutie. I just wanna snuggle him, oh my goodness. Aha, yes there is more. Gosh, thank you for reading it!!! <3

Cue me melting into a pile of happy goo

I will NEVER get enough Remus Lupin fic in my life and it warms every corner of me to see this sudden revival of popularity! *hugs AdrianMarx forever* A Christmas miracle!

Oh gosh, I've read most of yours and ahh they're all so good omg I'm so glad you're enjoying this. Eek, he's so sweet and cuddly *hugs back*

I love this start. Poor dear Remus.

Poor baby D:

(Funny story about the whole ending up in St. Pancras thing. When I went to London in August, I had to find King's Cross from Euston and got a little bit lost. And the tube always announces it as "King's Cross St. Pancras" so I saw the sign for St. Pancras and was like yep that must be it. Long story short, I walked through the open barriers at the Eurostar platform and almost ended up in France.)

---

When Remus woke, his head felt heavy and fuzzy, like it had been stuffed full of cotton wool. The sinus pressure was unbearable and he couldn’t resist a quiet groan. He could hear people talking, cutting each other off and all yelling at once. The sound was amplified by his throbbing headache. Slowly, he picked out the distinct smell of the Hogwarts Express through his stuffy nose and everything came rushing back to him – the job and the journey and the students and Sirius Black and-

“Quiet!” he managed hoarsely.

Quickly, he ran everything through in his head. They’d stopped, nobody seemed to know why, and Remus was quite sure it was growing steadily colder though he felt his raging fever made his judgement somewhat unreliable. But with a criminal on the loose…

Immediately alert, he began feeling around for his wand but found his couldn’t see well enough to remove it from his robes. Instead, he held out his hand, watching flames spring to life in his palm. HE glanced around the carriage, finding all eyes on him, when his gaze fell upon a young boy with stubborn black hair and round glasses sliding down his nose and his thoughts collectively screamed, “James!”

When common sense caught up with instinct, an ache settled in his chest which was completely unrelated to his cold. Those eyes – such kind, caring eyes – should never hold such fear.

Remus could scarcely tear his eyes away from the boy before him, so painfully James and Lily’s son, but they darted to the door of their own accord when he heard an unmistakable swishing noise. Surely not; on a school train? His heart lurched.

“Stay where you are,” he said, in the same hoarse voice, pushing himself oh-so-slowly to his feet and willing himself not to fall over. With his handful of fire outstretched before him, he managed only one step towards the door when it began to open and an intense cold swept over them all.

Despite his best intentions, Remus felt himself leaning back against the window, shivering and sniffling wretchedly while every bad transformation he’d ever had began racing through his head. He felt for his wand but the memories didn’t stop there and soon he was reliving every time he was spat at in the street, every job he failed to get, the night he heard about James and Lily, the possible aftermath of Sirius’ little prank, hearing of Sirius’ escape, the night his mother died-

The cold seeped into his chest, into his lungs. He could feel the wolf struggling against it, fighting it. A cough crackled in his lungs, pulling painfully at his chest. He couldn’t breathe.

And then he saw them, the very children he’d taken the job to protect, cowering and suffering through every dreadful memory they’d ever had. Thoughts for his own well-being vanished in an instant. Now was not the time to throw a pity party. With everything he had left, he focused hard on his mother’s smiling face and the joy he’d felt inside upon hearing that he’d be going to Hogwarts despite everything.

Feeling newly energised, he stood and pointed his wand at the cloaked figure in the doorway.

“None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks,” he said, straining to be heard over the noise in his own head. “Go.”

The Dementor did not move. So he gathered together the last of his strength and tried to imagine his memory travelling right through his body, filling up up, right to the tip of his wand and muttered, “Expecto Patronum.”

White light burst from his wand, driving the Dementor back. Only when it was safely out of sight did he lower his wand again, wheezing and dizzy and quite unable to stand for much longer. He swayed slightly on his heels, glad that all attention was focused on Harry. Well, almost all. He caught Neville looking at him, apparently seeking some kind of reassurance, but the poor boy’s face went positively grey when he saw Remus so drained. Remus offered him a small smile and sat down heavily in his seat, allowing his eyes to fall shut for just a moment.

The nausea had returned and he was suddenly incredibly thankful that he’d decided to take the train. Somewhere amid feeling shaken and weak, a twinge of shame made itself known. He should have acted sooner.

Moments later, the lights flickered and came back on. The train jolted back into life beneath his feet and the sudden movement did his queasiness no favours. Movement from the floor next to him brought him back to earth.

His lungs crackled in protest when he stood again, pulling his case down into his lap and retrieving what was simply an enormous bar of chocolate. He’d spent the last of his muggle money on it when he’d heard that Azkaban’s Dementors were to be stationed around the school. He unwrapped it with tired hands, struggling with the more fiddly parts of the foil. When he made the first snap, everyone jumped. He smiled apologetically continued, handing it out to each of them.

(He had planned to save a small piece for himself but, when he looked around, they really did look like they needed it more. He was sure it was just the cold which had drained him.)

“What was that thing?” Harry asked.

Remus rubbed his nose absently as it was beginning to prickle. “A Dementor,” he said softly. “One of the Dementors of Azkaban.” He glanced around. “Eat. It’ll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…”

With that, he made his exit, already fishing around for his handkerchief when the tickle in his nose began to grow. He made it a whole three compartments distance before he had to throw his hand against the wall to steady himself, his other hovering in front of his face, handkerchief at the ready. His breathing grew shallower and a soft moan escaped him before-

“huh’RSHHOO! ihh...hIYISHHOO! ISHHOO! hISHHOO!”

The fit did little to stem the tickle and only served to further exhaust him. The ground looked extremely inviting. If he could just rest- With a shake of his head, he ploughed on, thankful they were close to the front of the train, and knocked three times on the door of the driver’s compartment before opening it.

“What’s going on?” He asks stuffily, wiping his nose self-consciously.

The driver, looking miffed himself, folded his arms across his chest, the train thundering along a straight track. “Bloody Dementors,” he grumbled. “Think they can just come aboard like we haven’t already done our own bloody checks. Sirius Black, indeed.”

Remus nodded. “How hhh… How long unt- hh’hiHISHHOO!” he crumpled forwards into his handkerchief, sniffling. “Excuse me. How long until we arrive?”

The driver rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and blessed him. “S’quite a cold you’ve got there,” he said needlessly before answering the question. “Ten minutes, there or there abouts.”

Remus thanked him and left him in peace, leaning against the now closed door while his lungs made several attempts to collapse in on themselves. He put one hand on his chest, grimacing at the damp sound of his strained coughing. That was certainly not healthy.

Wiping cold sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his robe, he made his way back to the others and smiled weakly, saying, “I haven’t poisoned that chocolate, you know.”

~

With the noise of everyone piling out, Remus took the opportunity to let a couple of sneezes go into a fresh handkerchief. It was the only clean one he had at present and he didn’t feel up to performing any cleaning spells. He sighed when he noticed the rain belting down outside. Perfect.

Stepping out, he sorted out a dispute – ignoring the sarcastic response he’d received, no doubt in part brought on by his shabby appearance – and began ushering students into the carriages as they arrived. He encouraged them to huddle in together to get them out of the rain and reminded them to change out of their wet clothes as soon as they reached the castle or Madam Pomfrey would have their heads.

Eventually, he found himself standing alone on the path, awaiting another carriage for himself. When he saw it approaching, he breathed a sigh of relief but had to stop to sneeze quite desperately into his rain-soaked handkerchief before he could climb aboard. As the carriage moved off, he felt the cold truly seep into his bones and allowed himself a moment to be absolutely bloody miserable.

Exhausted, he stretched out across the padded bench of the carriage and closed his eyes, letting the rain batter down until he couldn’t even feel the cold anymore.

[Dusty15]

*cheers!!!* I quite like this revised (or I suppose more 'behind the scenes') look at Remus' return to Hogwarts in PoA. Lovely <3

[AdrianMarx]

*cheers!!!* I quite like this revised (or I suppose more 'behind the scenes') look at Remus' return to Hogwarts in PoA. Lovely <3

Ahh, I'm glad. I tried to keep it as close to the book as possible ^-^

---

Poppy Pomfrey was reorganising her store cupboard to accommodate her new orders of the typical potions she tended to need in the first few weeks of term; mostly various injury treatments for the first years after their first few flying lessons, remedies for common disasters in potions class, and an endless supply of chocolate. One couldn’t be too careful, not with those horrid Dementors stationed all around the school. She shook her head thoughtfully. Beastly creatures, they were. She could anticipate numerous health ramifications, particularly for the students who were generally in poor health.

“Poppy?” Minerva McGonagall’s voice caught her attention and she turned to find her standing in the doorway.

She would have smiled but the look on Minerva’s face turned her stomach. “Minerva? What is it?”

“A student has taken ill on the train,” she said quietly. “Fainted, apparently.”

Poppy frowned and immediately began searching through the cupboard, trying to decide what she might need. She spoke softly to Minerva while she did, muttering to keep herself from worrying. “I suppose one of the students sent word, did they?” she asked rhetorically. “Good, good. Best teach them to take care of themselves.”

There was a hint of a smile in Minerva’s voice when she next spoke. “Actually, Professor Lupin sent an owl ahead.”

Poppy stopped, turning to stare at Minerva in disbelief. Minerva smiled softly.

“Lupin?” Poppy asked, shocked. “Not Remus Lupin?”

Minerva’s smile brightened. “The very same. He’s filling the Defence Against the Dark Arts post.”

Poppy was positively beaming.

“I thought you might be glad,” Minerva went on. “I know you were fond of him.”

Fond was understating it. Though too professional to tell him so, Poppy had adored Remus Lupin for any number of reasons. Quite physically weak and often in her care, he was as cheerful as they came and she had never once heard him complain. He was always the first to ask after anyone and brought countless, terrified first-years to her doorstep when they were too afraid to show face alone. His heart had always been in the right place. Not to mention his wit. Even when those friends of his were hanging around after full-moons, getting under her feet, she often couldn’t bear to shoo them away. They brought a little cheer where it was most needed and she just couldn’t be angry about that.

She remembered their conversations about the future. All Remus had ever wanted to do was teach. He loved the Gryffindors who had been placed under his care as a Prefect and was always willing, if not eager, to help them with their studies. His patience was endless, particularly with those students who struggled academically. Poppy had particularly fond memories of a time when she’d caught him explaining the theory of the Levitation Charm to a timid first-year in the aftermath of a particularly bad moon.

(“You’ve got it,” he’d said with a grin, ruffling the young boy’s ginger hair affectionately. “It’s all in there.”

The boy giggled but his smile had only been brief and he’d traced a protruding cut with his finger, a frown creasing his brow. “Will you be alright?”

“Course I will,” Remus had chuckled. “You should see the other guy.”)

“I was,” she said eventually but Minerva was long gone. Poppy scolded herself – she’d forgotten to ask what had happened.

~

As Poppy hurried along the corridors to Minerva’s office, she lost herself in thought once more. The full moon had been mere days ago; should she call Remus – or Professor Lupin, she supposed – in for a check-up? It had been years since she’d seen him last. She wondered, as she had the night she heard about the Potters, Pettigrew, and young Sirius Black, how he had been coping in the years since they’d last spoken. She also wondered if she really wanted to know the answer to that question.

She bustled into Minerva’s office absently, still in the middle of bringing herself back to Earth, when an indignant exclamation to her left caught her attention. Harry Potter did indeed look pale and shaken. She bent to examine him more closely and tutted.

“I suppose you’ve been doing something dangerous again,” she said disapprovingly, noting the faint flush which had appeared on Harry’s cheeks.

“It was a Dementor, Poppy,” Minerva said and they shared a dark look. Poppy felt a chill run down her spine at the mere thought of it.

She tutted again. “Setting Dementors around a school,” she frowned, feeling Harry’s forehead and finding it hot and sweaty. “He won’t be the first one who collapses. Yes, he’s all clammy. Terrible things, they are,” she went on, her thoughts drifting back to Remus Lupin as she added, “and the effect they have on people who are already delicate-”

Remus had been on that train, she thought. And so close to the moon…

“I’m not delicate!” she heard Harry say crossly but his voice sounded quite far away.

“Of course you’re not,” she said absent-mindedly, taking his pulse on autopilot and feeling it to be slightly elevated. He did seem agitated. Poor thing. No wonder, with those Dementors surrounding the place.

Poppy barely heard what happened next until Harry jumped to his feet and startled her. She shook her head, checking for pupil dilation and saying that he should really have some chocolate. She was thankful now that she’d thought to order some. However, upon hearing Harry’s admission that Professor Lupin had already given him some, she felt herself relax.

“Did he, now?” she said with a smile, sharing an approving look with Minerva. “So, we’ve finally got a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who knows his remedies.”

Yes, she thought, Remus was well suited to his new post in every way.

~

Dreadful was the only suitable word for how Remus looked and felt by the time he had taken his seat in the Great Hall. He had dried his clothes to the best of his ability but they remained somewhat damp and he dared not attempt any more magic in his current state lest he accidentally set himself on fire. (Embarrassingly enough, it would not have been a first.) He had decided – after managing to turn his handkerchief black instead of drying it – that what he really needed was a nice hot meal and a good night’s sleep. He was quite certain he’d still feel awful in the morning but contended himself with the knowledge that his only two classes tomorrow were scheduled far enough apart that he’d be able to have a nap in the time between them.

The short ride in the rain left him chilled and quite unable to stop the relentless shivers coursing through his body. Breathing was becoming tedious, each one threatening to bring with it a coughing fit which was sure to draw the attention of tiny Professor Flitwick who was sat immediately on his left, chatting to Professor Trelawney who sat on his other side at the end of the table. The seat on Remus’ immediate left and the one next to it were empty so he had, at least, little to worry about from that perspective.

Still, the looming fit would not be kept at bay forever and it struck him rather unexpectedly as he was pushing his hair from his face.

“Good gracious, lad,” Flitwick said with surprise, stretching across to pat his back. “Take it easy, now.”

Remus tried to gesture that he was perfectly alright but his point was somewhat undermined by his pained hacking. Flitwick tapped Remus’ goblet with his wand and it immediately filled with water. Remus reached for it gratefully, taking small sips to soothe his sore throat. Though it still hurt to swallow, it did stop the coughing.

“Sorry,” he said hoarsely, going to wipe his nose again before remembering that his handkerchief was, indeed, still dripping wet.

“You should see Poppy about that cough,” Flitwick said, waving Remus’ apology away and refilling his goblet wordlessly.

Remus smiled. “Perhaps later,” he said with a sniffle, turning away to silently stifle a sneeze against his wrist. He sniffed again and found Flitwick shaking his head.

“It’s your bed you need, lad,” he said with assurance and Remus chuckled quietly, hoping to prevent another display like the last. Didn’t he know it.

Flitwick looked as though he wanted to say something more but he was interrupted when the doors to the Great Hall swung open and the newest bunch of first years began pouring down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, led by Professor Sprout. Without any further ado, the sorting began.

Remus spent most of the ceremony is something of a daze, clapping when appropriate and occasionally smiling when an apparently timid first-year would be sorted into Gryffindor. It was always the quiet ones you had to watch out for – they generally rose to the top.

Soon enough, the ceremony was over and Dumbledore stood to begin his speech. Remus took the opportunity to sniff deeply, rubbing his nose roughly with the back of his hand. Even touching the tender skin around his nostrils intensified what was proving to be a constant itch lurking on the periphery. He was caught between teasing a sneeze out just for the sheer fact that it would give him some relief and hoping the tickle would subside on his own.

Despite being well-prepared, his stomach still jolted in surprise when Dumbledore announced his appointment. He stood on unsteady legs and faced the crowd of students with nerves twisting and writhing in his veins. There was some scattered applause, mostly unenthusiastic, but he saw the group of Gryffindors from the train clapping and grinning fit to burst. He smiled, feeling oddly out of place, like he was on the outside looking in. Hogwarts had always been about the students; being a Professor here just felt so abnormal. It was rather a lot to process.

He took up his seat once again and felt a hand on his shoulder. Professor McGonagall had filled the seat on his immediate right and was smiling at him warmly.

“Congratulations, professor,” she said quietly, returning her gaze to Dumbedore before Remus could so much as thank her. Not that it would have mattered because his nose chose that particular moment to prickle uncomfortably and he silently stifled two sneezes into his handkerchief.

The applause which erupted for Hagrid made his head thud in protest.

(He failed to notice the glares he was receiving from Severus Snape who sat at the opposite end of the table. He was also utterly oblivious to Madam Pomfrey’s critical gaze constantly upon him from where she had taken up her seat on McGonagall’s other side.)

Remus was glad when the feast began and, despite his lack of appetite, did his best to eat. He ended up picking at his food apathetically and had to stifle a fair few yawns throughout the meal. Professor Trelawney delighted in engaging both himself and Flitwick – and even, on occasion, Professor McGonagall – in animated conversation about her activities over the summer. By the time pudding arrived, Remus had acquired an in depth knowledge of the various methods of predicting the future – a much more substantial insight than he’d ever received during the time he’d spend actually studying the subject.

When even the chocolate cake couldn’t tempt him, Remus knew he was most certainly ill.

Mercifully, Dumbledore announced the end of the feat and not a moment too soon. Remus was quite desperate to escape to bed, his general state of health having deteriorated steadily over the course of the whole day. The students began to file out. Professors Flitwick and Trelawney left almost immediately, still engaged in apparently exciting conversation. Remus snatched up a napkin and blew his nose, thankful that he was no longer the subject of scrutiny. He sighed; bed sounded like a magnificent idea.

His body ached as he stood – his legs felt stiff and his entire upper body as though it had been wound tight. He’d no sooner reached the steps which led him from the teacher’s table into the main body of the hall when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and smiled when he saw the person to whom it belonged.

“Madam Pomfrey,” he greeted cheerfully, wincing internally at the obvious congestion in his tired voice.

She looked him up and down, taking in the dampness of his patched robes. He could tell she was itching to tell him off for sitting around in wet clothes.

“Professor Lupin,” she said simply, frowning when she caught him unsuccessfully suppressing a shiver.

Before another word could be spoken, she reached up (and Remus remembered the days when he barely reached her chest) to feel his forehead and clearly found what she expected because she tutted softly and shook her head.

“Infirmary,” she commanded quietly.

Remus knew he hadn’t the strength to argue but he gave it his best shot nonetheless.

“Honestly, Madam Pomfrey, I’m-”

“Heading to the infirmary, are the words you’re looking for, Mister Lupin,” she said firmly and Remus couldn’t suppress a smile.

Yesterday, he’d have argued. Yesterday, when he’d been just a little sniffly and could probably have done with a hot cup of tea, he’d have insisted he was well. But today, when all he wanted in the world was to lie down in a warm bed and get a good night’s sleep; that was different.

Madam Pomfrey reached forward and squeezed his arm. “You’re not up to arguing,” she said gently and Remus swallowed any final retort he might have made.

“No,” he agreed, nodding his assent and allowing her comforting hand on his lower back to guide him along familiar corridors towards some much-needed bed rest.

---

There aren't any spelled out sneezes in this part, as you might have noticed, and I have justification for that. I'm completely convinced that Remus doesn't like to draw attention to his being unwell and has, over the years, become an absolute master of the silent sneeze when it's necessary. Sitting at the Hogwarts teacher's table, in full view of all the students and trying to make a good first impression with the teachers, he doesn't want everybody to know he's feeling really pretty shit. So, yes, I hope that's okay.

[AngelEyes]

“Honestly, Madam Pomfrey, I’m-”

“Heading to the infirmary, are the words you’re looking for, Mister Lupin,” she said firmly and Remus couldn’t suppress a smile.

Love this!

There aren't any spelled out sneezes in this part, as you might have noticed, and I have justification for that. I'm completely convinced that Remus doesn't like to draw attention to his being unwell and has, over the years, become an absolute master of the silent sneeze when it's necessary. Sitting at the Hogwarts teacher's table, in full view of all the students and trying to make a good first impression with the teachers, he doesn't want everybody to know he's feeling really pretty shit. So, yes, I hope that's okay.

I totally agree.

This is fantastic! I love it!!!

[meepsy]

This is absolutely amazing!!! I can't tell you how much I love it! That scene of him sleeping on the train always was my favorite in the books, and now I know why!!! Can't wait to read the next part!!!

[AdrianMarx]

“Honestly, Madam Pomfrey, I’m-”

“Heading to the infirmary, are the words you’re looking for, Mister Lupin,” she said firmly and Remus couldn’t suppress a smile.

Love this!

There aren't any spelled out sneezes in this part, as you might have noticed, and I have justification for that. I'm completely convinced that Remus doesn't like to draw attention to his being unwell and has, over the years, become an absolute master of the silent sneeze when it's necessary. Sitting at the Hogwarts teacher's table, in full view of all the students and trying to make a good first impression with the teachers, he doesn't want everybody to know he's feeling really pretty shit. So, yes, I hope that's okay.

I totally agree.

This is fantastic! I love it!!!

Ahh, thank you!

This is absolutely amazing!!! I can't tell you how much I love it! That scene of him sleeping on the train always was my favorite in the books, and now I know why!!! Can't wait to read the next part!!!

I've always loved it too, I think especially because it literally says that he looked exhausted and ill so~ the imagination will do as it pleases ^-^ Well, you shall wait no longer

---

Madam Pomfrey wasted no time ushering him straight to the other end of the hospital wing and through the door to their right. He felt his chest constrict at the the sight of the pale yellow paint on the walls. Just as he remembered. He noticed that his pyjamas were already laid out on the bed and threw a suspicious glance in Madam Pomfrey's direction. She was too preoccupied with closing the door to notice.

"Shirt," she demanded casually, turning down the blankets with a flick of her wand. Her voice had always had an odd quality to it which Remus had never heard from anyone else - she expected to be obeyed. Not in the way Professors McGonagall or Dumbledore did but somehow more gently. Even now, the quiet command of her tone made him push to stand up a little straighter.

He did as asked though perhaps more slowly than she would have liked. He kept his back to her as he unbuttoned his shirt. Honestly, he was worried that she'd react badly to the state of his body. He hadn't been properly healed since leaving Hogwarts. Lily had always been so kind but she wasn't a healer - all she could safely do was rub his back and soothe his fever.

As he slipped his shirt off, he tried to cover the sound of the gasp he was sure she'd make by noisily clearing his throat. He took a seat on the edge of the bed.

Madame Pomfrey felt his forehead as before, muttering to herself under her breath. Remus felt like he'd been drained of all energy and suddenly just remaining upright seemed to be a lot of work. Madam Pomfrey quickly got to work, cleaning and bandaging the wounds on his back without a word. Honestly, Remus wasn't sure where to begin with conversation. He wanted to protest; he didn't really need all this attention. He wanted to thank her for everything she'd done for him, for everything she was still doing. He wanted to tell her that things had been awful since it happened, that he hadn't had anybody touch him so tenderly for twelve years, that he missed James and Lily with everything he had.

Before he could say anything at all, Madam Pomfrey said quietly, "You haven't been sleeping."

Remus stifled a sneeze against his wrist before responding. "I've had a bit of trouble recently, yes," he admitted. She blessed him almost inaudibly.

"I thought the Ministry were providing the Wolfsbane potion to the unemployed," she went on, clearly wondering why he was still covered with angry red cuts. She came round to stand in front of him, eyeing a particularly nasty gash on his chest with concern. She dipped a fresh cloth into a bowl which had appeared by his bedside. The clear liquid it contained smelled strongly of peppermint and Remus found its familiarity to be welcoming.

He sighed. "They are," he assured her, lifting one hand to rub gingerly at his temples. "I didn't qualify."

She raised an eyebrow, an invitation to continue.

"Strictly speaking, they require a permenant address," he explained. "They need to monitor us, make sure we're not selling it or hoarding it. Really," he shifted, wincing when it caused his bandaged back to twinge painfully. "It's a publicity stunt. Most of us who can't find work don't have anywhere to go."

The dabbing at his chest stopped. Remus glanced up. Madam Pomfrey's expression was a combination of sympathy and sadness. She was hurting on his behalf. Holding his gaze, she placed a cool hand on his cheek and he moved into the touch instinctively. After so long on his own, affectionate human contact was a distant memory and this one gesture filled him with warmth. He closed his eyes.

"Poor thing," he heard her say, stroking her thumb across his cheek. "You've been through the mill, haven't you?"

Just like that, the touch was gone and she was busy examining an older scar on his right shoulder. Only once she'd given each of his injuries due attention did she take his temperature and check his lungs. She muttered to herself all the while - "Fever, breathing a little tight, sounds congested..." - and Remus did his best to keep his coughing and sneezing to a minimum so as to avoid interrupting her. Eventually, they would not be held back any longer.

The first caught him by surprise and he pitched forward, sneezing damply towards the floor.

"hehhNGKHHshh!"

In the build up to the second, he managed to pull out his still wet handkerchief and fall forwards into it.

"hh...iHHISHHOOmph! hh...hHhehh...huhRRDSHHHOO!"

Even his sneezes felt heavier than before. Merlin, he just needed to rest.

"Bless," Madam Pomfrey was exchanging his sodden hankie for a fresh one. "You get changed and into bed for me, dear. I'll get you something for that cold."

With that, she was gone. He changed slowly - grateful for the warming spell she'd clearly placed on his night things - and managed to button his pyjamas incorrectly but he hadn't the energy to put it right. Madam Pomfrey returned just as he was about to get into bed and rolled her eyes fondly, abandoning her laden tray in midair and beginning to unbutton his shirt again.

"One thing I will say," she murmured as she worked. "I'm glad you were on that train today. It's about time we had a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who knows a thing or two about defending against the dark arts."

Remus chuckled and muttered hoarsely, "From what I've heard, Professor Lockhart had a real knack for the job."

She shot him a dark look. "That man couldn't defend himself against a summer breeze," she said with a shake of her head. "I shall never again scold you about that sweet tooth of yours. I trust you had a little extra since you were feeling so poorly."

Remus swallowed and told her that of course he had done exactly that but he had never been very good at lying to her. She became stern again.

"Remus Lupin," she began and he knew that he was definitely in trouble. "Do you mean to tell me that you fought off a Dementor mere days after the full moon, not to mention that your fever is through the roof, and never thought to mention that you hadn't actually eaten any of that chocolate you handed out?"

With nothing else to do, he smiled cheekily. "What can I say? I'm a mad man."

With another roll of her eyes, she bundled him into bed, fluffing his pillows and tucking him in and generally fussing in a way which might have been annoying had he not been so tremendously grateful. She ducked under her tray on her way out again. Remus leaned back against his pillows and let his eyes fall shut. All things considered, he'd had a long day and he was quite impressed that he'd managed to last so long. But now, with the comforts of a warm bed and Madam Pomfrey's care, he was quite prepared for this to be the best night's sleep he'd had in years.

Madam Pomfrey returned not moments later, forcing a bar of chocolate into his hands.

"And don't you go falling asleep on me until you've eaten the lot," she instructed, fussing again with his blankets and pillows. He unwrapped the bar carefully and broke a chunk off the end. It melted like butter in his mouth. Madam Pomfrey finally took a seat on the bed by his knees and asked, "How long as it been?"

Remus shot her a confused look.

"Since you caught cold," she clarified. "How long has it been?"

"Four days," he admitted. "Though I felt a lot better yesterday."

She frowned. "You shouldn't have made the journey like this."

Remus wrinkled his nose when another tickle made itself known. "What whhh- what would you have recommended?"

She eyed him sternly and the tickle seemed to shrivel up under her gaze. "Bed rest."

"It's been a long time since I could afford that," he said with a sad smile.

Madam Pomfrey returned the smile with the same underlying sadness and reched forward to smooth his hair from his face. "You should have written. You would have been welcome here. Dumbledore would not have turned you away." She promised, adding quietly, "And nor would I."

Remus shook his head, touched by her sincerity. "I couldn't face it." He said honestly. "Not...not alone."

He lapsed into silence, thinking of the memories this place had held for so many years. When Dumbledore had sought him out that terrible Hallowe'en and offered him a job at the castle, it had been everything he'd dreamed of since he was a boy. He knew he'd never get another opportunity, that nobody else would be so understanding as Dumbledore had been throughout his childhood. But he'd turned him down. He'd turned him down because he couldn't face the thought of returning to Hogwarts only to be called Remus and Professor Lupin because there'd be nobody around to call him Moony anymore.

He placed the chocolate aside and turned away, snatching up the borrowed handkerchief from where it lay in his lap and clamping it round his nose and mouth.

"heh'ISHHhoo!"

He sniffed wetly, too embarrassed to blow his nose while she was watching him so closely. "S'cuse me," he murmured, mopping his nose with flushing cheeks.

"Bless you, dear," said Madam Pomfrey and Remus could hear the sympathetic undertones to her voice. Then, she asked quietly why he had finally decided to return.

A lump rose steadily in Remus' throat. It ached to even think his name let alone say it. He hadn't said it out loud in twelve years. It felt uncomfortable in his mouth. He had to physically force it out.

"Sirius Black."

And just like that he was remembering, exactly as he'd feared. He remembered how they'd all laughed that Sirius would be the first to get himself a girlfriend, how the others had been shocked when Sirius had kissed him one morning at breakfast in their third year before claiming that they'd known all along, of course. Sirius had joked an awful lot about sex but, really, it hadn't been like that. It had always been so gentle. They'd both been so fragile back then, haunted by the past and afraid for the future. Sirius had been safe, constant. When Sirius had played that prank, Remus had cried alone for two days. James had done his best to bring them back together - Peter, though he tried, was really quite hopeless - but it had been a nightmare and a broken picture frame which had finally done it. They'd curled up together in Sirius' bed and Remus had pointed to the figures through the shattered glass and told Sirius all about his parents.

There was always something quite innocent and soft about the pair of them together. They'd never "officially" been labelled, never quite boyfriends but certainly more than best friends. Sirius and James were best friends but Sirus and Remus were something special in a completely different way. Remus had been happy not to dwell on it. With the chance of a real education and three best friends - four once Lily had become an honorary Marauder despite James' objections - he'd been so happy. It was more than he'd ever dared to hope for and it had seemed too good to be true.

He'd learned since then that, if something seemed too good to be true, it almost certainly was.

"Remus, dear," Madam Pomfrey was holding him tight in her arms. He barely realised he was crying before he was sobbing and clinging to her and he just couldn't let go. His apologies didn't even reach his own ears before they fizzled out. "Hush, now. It's alright."

Tears still trailed down his face when he had to push her away and sneeze roughly into his shoulder.

"HH'IHHGSHHHnx!"

He scarcely heard her bless him before she kissed his forehead with all the love and care his mother had shown him years ago. She'd never done that before, always the professional. Somehow, that made it mean so much more. He watched blearily as she produced another hankie from thin air and dried his cheeks gently. This time, he suspected her cool hand on his forehead was merely to cool him down.

Dutifully, he swallowed his potions and lay down to sleep at long last, thoroughly shattered by the day's events. She tapped her wand against his temple and his headache seemed to dull as did the sinus pressure which had been building behind his eyes.

"You're a good lad, Remus," she told him, voice low, before she left him in solitude.

The chocolate lay forgotten on the nightstand.

---

Well, that's it finished, I suppose. I hope the ending is alright. I wrote it quite late last night so please forgive typos and suchlike. Gosh, he gives me so many feelings. And I had to throw in a little Remus/Sirius at the and because I like the idea of them being all cute and flustered and just happy okay it was nice when they were happy. Feck.

[meepsy]

AAAHHH this is soso cute! The end is absolutely adorable. Madame Pomfry's fussing is my favorite. And I don't mind Remus/Sirius at all - it certainly does give him a plausible excuse to return to Hogwarts after so many years. This is so well-written! I think it's my favorite HP sneezefic of all time!! Thanks for sharing!!

[Dusty15]

I am SO into the Pomfrey and Remus dynamic lately and I love this take on it. I think she had to be very close to him, having seen him at his most vulnerable for so many years.

This part, in particular, I loved:

She shot him a dark look. "That man couldn't defend himself against a summer breeze," she said with a shake of her head. "I shall never again scold you about that sweet tooth of yours. I trust you had a little extra since you were feeling so poorly."

Remus swallowed and told her that of course he had done exactly that but he had never been very good at lying to her. She became stern again.

"Remus Lupin," she began and he knew that he was definitely in trouble. "Do you mean to tell me that you fought off a Dementor mere days after the full moon, not to mention that your fever is through the roof, and never thought to mention that you hadn't actually eaten any of that chocolate you handed out?"

With nothing else to do, he smiled cheekily. "What can I say? I'm a mad man."

With another roll of her eyes, she bundled him into bed, fluffing his pillows and tucking him in and generally fussing in a way which might have been annoying had he not been so tremendously grateful.

[AngelEyes]

I love this so much!!!!

[LastHope]

I love this! You have such a nice writing style and I love the Poppy/Remus thing it's amazing aw man.