I Am Illogical - Star Trek TOS (Spirk, M/M)

[spirkestielgirl87]

So much sickness and sneezing! I am seriously just like More please!!!

Btw, I thought this part was funny/cute "They bake by butt look ass-thetically pleasig, eh?" Jim giggled and Spock sighed.

[KickingUpTheDust]

PART TWENTY-TWO

Up went the eyebrow. The man truly was insatiable. Diagnosed with influenza, awoken from much-needed sleep by a red alert, fainting from fever, confined to sickbay. And now...now he wanted Spock to make him sneeze, to pleasure Spock, to be pleasured.

The 'Thing' that had been mentioned was, in fact, a scenting powder used on Vulcan in certain ceremonies - sometimes meditation if assistance was needed. The brick-coloured powder, even when not being burned, emitted a strong scent that had even sent Vulcan noses twitching from time to time.

For a human like Jim, oh-so-prone to allergies, the powder was nothing short of an exercise in nasal torture.

"Jim," Spock said, sneezing himself, "might I remind you that you are in need of rest."

"I'll rest later," his lover smirked, "after this. Come on, Mr Spock, I've stepped over the line. Don't I need discipline?" Jim snuffled, eyes glowing from anticipation rather than fever now.

The eyebrow quirked again. If Jim wanted to play, then play they would.

Spock sat Jim down in the chair next to his bed and straddled him, taking off his - or rather, Jim's - shirt, revealing his bare chest.

"If you can make it through the entire sixty seconds I plan on kissing you for without breaking, sniffing or sneezing... then I shall 'let youoff the hook'.''

"I shall endeavour to do so, Commander." Jim smirked,

Spock leaned in, kissing him deeply, large hands fiddling with the zip on the hoodie so it was completely open and he spread his handsacross the expansion of his love's chest. So broad and sturdy. Sometimes a little 'chubby', as his mother called it, but Spock loved it all.

Jim's nose was twitching and Spock could tell his control had already been weakened. Starship captain, role model, epitome if masculine beauty, powerful, but still so weak, so vulnerable, so wonderfully sensitive...

This was something that had always attracted Spock. His captain was just that. A captain. But even captains have their weaknesses and Spock (and, much to his annoyance) the rest of the crew had witnessed his spectacular allergies in full swing. If there was particularly pollenous flora on a planet they were investigating, or an excess amount of dust, even on occasion had Jim been allergic to the actual inhabitants of some planets. Perfumes, dander. It was no secret. And Spock loved it.

30.9 seconds and Jim's nose was beginning to run.

He remembered Yeoman Rand wearing a new kind of perfume on the bridge and leaning over a little too closely, in Spock's opinion, to get him to sign something. Eyes tearing, breath hitching, Jim had turned away from her, "'Scuse me, yeoman, hah-have t-to snee...sneeze... HEHchoum! Cha-houm! ChIIEEEWW! Oh, bless me, yeoman. Sorry about that.'' And with a smile and a sniffle, he signed and sent her on her way.

Spock's jaw was clenched and he later walked into the mess to overhear Rand talking with her friends,

"Well it wasn't how I was hoping he'd react to it, but seeing the captain sniffly and teary-eyed. Oh, he was cute as a bunny-rabbit. Of course, Kirk could make anything cute!"

Upon hearing her giggle in his memory, Spock felt an urge of angry protectiveness. Jim was his boyfriend and no one could appreciate him - or his sneezing - as well as Spock could. The fact that other people had seen and heard Jim sneezing without Spock there drove him insane and he pushed his lips further into Jim's

"Spock, I...HAHchOUM!!"

If Spock were capable, he would have smirked. "Well, captain," he spurred, "it seems your discipline is lacking."

[KickingUpTheDust]

PART TWENTY-TWO

Spock slipped Jim's hoodie off his shoulders and got up off his captain's lap, trailing Vulcan kisses along his chest as he did so. "I will return momentarily."

Jim sniffled cheekily, "I hope so."

Spock sifted through his cupboards before a large hand found the bag, filled with a very fine, brick-coloured powder.

Fighting down illogical nerves, Spock carried the pack back into his room, where Jim was waiting - that adorable, lopsided grin on his face as he watched Spock carefully pour it onto a metal plate.

"Is this my punishment, Mr Spock?"

"Indeed, Captain, you must learn to discipline yourself." Spock replied, attempting to keep the shake out of his voice and the itch out of his nose as little particles wafted upwards.

This powder always elicited memories from Spock. One in particular being back at a graduation ceremony for upperclassmen on Vulcan. Spock must have been in his teens by now and a particular senior classman had been stood rigidly next to the post where the powder was burning.

His name had been Stelev and Spock had felt a mild admiration for him for a while now. He was vastly intelligent and Spock, despite his shame, was watching his nose. It was long, but mildly snub at the end and currently very green.

Stelev had been doing an admirable job of keeping a, as Mr Kyle would call it, a stiff upper lip, at the powder but it's potency must have been unimaginable at that range. Stelev's nostrils were quivering and damp. Illogically, Spock wished for Stelev's control to falter.

And falter it did, before long Stelev broke form and, using two hands to stifle, pitched forward with a muffled but desperate "H'ITSCHH! Issshh! Hi'issshhh!!"

Spock's heart had hammered in it's side then. Just as it did now.

Jim's eyes. Those hazel, gold-flecked eyes, hungry but sick, flicked from the powder to Spock and back again and his beautiful, lustful, wonderfully human smile widened as he wrinkled his perfectly-formed nose in anticipation.

[KickingUpTheDust]

PART TWENTY-THREE.

Jim sniffled, clear liquid shivering at his nose. Oh, if endorphins was what he needed, he was going to get them, because in a minute or so Spock was going to get an overload of sneezes. Strange, he thought, how Spock could make him feel so sexy and desirable like this - he should be curled up in bed with his hood up clutching hot chocolate (or more likely that gross detox tea, seeing as Bones won't let him have hot chocolate 'because you're putting on weight' or whatever) feeling sorry for himself.

But that was for later. Now? Now, Spock was tipping the powder onto the plate and Jim was grinning. His throat wasn't even bothering him anymore - he just wanted Spock.

Spock carefully...carefully carried the plate over to where Jim was sitting, smirking and snuffling in anticipation, and set it down.

Just a little too roughly.

The extremely sensitive, fine powder...just a little...had puffed up and tinkled it's way into Spock's large nostrils and settled, crawling up his nasal passages into the already irritated, inflamed sinuses little ants on an epic journey.

"Cha..hah-ah..." Spock brought his fist up to rub at the itch, which turned out to be a mistake. Quite illogical of him to do so, Spock thought in hindsight, if one wishes to ignite a fire - friction would be needed and his nose was indeed burning, "Aaaahh-hah..."

Jim's eyes were gleaming, oh? What was this? Was Spock's nose going to give out before his? This wasn't part of the plan...

But it was no less pleasurable watching it - damn, whenever Jim thought his lover was strange, he always surprised him with how sexy this kink could be. His grin widened as Spock's nose wrinkled and wiggled in discomfort, head tilting back, as if to give range -

"HuhAKTCHOOOO! CHI-HEW! HRASCHOO! iTCHSHOOO!" oh, the sn - "HiRISHCOO! tSHEWWW!" - sneezing was too much to bear. Either his illness was making him more sensitive or..."J-Jib, I cad't...AaaahhRSHUU!"

Jim was chuckling lightly, "Dear be, Bister Spock...this hasn't worked out quite the way you planned, has it?"

"Id...chOO!...ideed, Captaid...I...HETCHOO!"

As Spock had faced Jim directly to speak, the force of his sneeze had sent the powder floating.

Floating straight in Jim's direction.

[Dye]

Ooohohohoooo myyyy, the direction this is taking. *fans self*

[ID2006]

SDFHJIYFCVBJKCDSSDFGBVD

[stifledsneezelover]

Oh my goodness I'm obsessed with this fic so much!!!! This is very well written and I'm obsessed with the romance and the story. Can't wait for the next chapter!!! Thank you so much for writing this. I'm so happy this exists

[KickingUpTheDust]

PART TWENTY-FOUR

Jim's eyebrows raised and he grinned, taking a deep inhale of the powder that was sifting through the air towards him.

Oh my, he knew what was coming next.

Jim's nose was already stuffy, but there was still room for more and oh, did he want more. Sniffing the powder in, it immediately set his nose to work. Oh wow, he thought, his small, round nose twitched erratically, like a rabbit sensing a predator. Through the blind itching of his nasal passages, Jim did sense a predator.

Spock.

Between his own sneezes, Spock watched his lover. The reddened nostrils flaring like a dragon ready to snort flame, his head tilting back and his eyes closing slowly..."Huh...hah...hah.."

Spock's blood burned and thrashed like an angry, eternal storm. Like the creation of a galaxy, the trigger, explosion, heat, storms...Jim's hand came up to fan under his nose, as if to fan the flames of the sneeze that licked at his sinuses.

As Jim's head tilted further back, he froze. He couldn't, the tickle was too much. Time to give in, Spock had had enough.

Forcing his eyes open to smirk at Spock, who's own sneezing had ceased - more because his body was preoccupied than because his own nose had expelled the irritant - crouched like a cat, unmoving, staring.

Jim winked.

Spock felt a surge of anger and arousal. He knew what Jim was doing to him and Jim knew he knew. He was done waiting, it was time.

With, what Jim felt was more force than warp speed, he sneezed. Over and over and over again. Like releasing thunderbolts, he felt the wetness, but he couldn't utilise his body to grab tissues. Each breath was shaky and unstable, like the Enterprise during a solar storm, inviting another sneeze to crash over him like a wave on a rock. Spock pounced and suddenly Jim was sneezing into Spock's skin, Spock himself releasing sneezes from where the last little granules had not been expelled. The pair of them, sneezing, intertwined, ultimately bound by sneezing and by their bond.

[KickingUpTheDust]

PART TWENTY-FIVE.

"Course laid in, sir." Hikaru chirped,

"Ahead warp factor two."

"Warp factor two." the helmsman echoed, hand brushing Pavel's and poorly-suppressing a smile.

Jim smiled at the pair of them. He really did feel like a proud father, his babies finally happy together. Even after feeling (a little) bad for passing on that not so terrible flu, it did hurry things along a little for them, so things didn't turn out as badly as they thought.

Spock, however, was mildly distracted. A little tickle was felt in the back of his nose. Irritating though it was, he was glad that the sneezing he had been doing was definitely expelling the last of the virus. His nostrils flared (Vulcans do not wriggle their noses. No, they do not.)

"Huh-hah..eh...." Spock hitched, "aaaaahh..."

"...CHOO!" Jim finished, glancing up at Spock from behind his elbow.

"Captain," Spock announced, straightening up, "I believe...Doctor McCoy..."

"Yes, yes...the antiviral course...we don't want to be late. Sulu, you have the con."

The Captain and his second-in-command disappeared into the turbolift, leaving the bridge behind.

"Zat is strange," Pavel frowned, turning to face Hikaru, "we hed ze same wirus es ze keptin end Meester Spock. Doctor McCoy never told us to come for antiwirals."

Sulu just smiled and cocked an eyebrow at Uhura, who looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Spockspockspock..." Jim gasped as Spock buried his face in Jim's neck, "it just snuck up on me, I didn't feeeeeellll..."

"It was mine." Spock told him breathlessly between kisses,

"Hm?"

"I felt it building in my own nose...I must have...projected it...through our bond..."

"Sp...Spock?"

"Yes?"

"I can feel...ah-another...I...hah...don't think I can ho-ho-hold it back..."

"Do not attempt to do so." Spock ordered, "Release it, t'hy'la, you know I will embrace it."

A flicker of a wicked grin and the lowering of his button nose to Spock's neck told him Jim didn't need to be told twice.

"Hah-ehCHOUM! Hihtchoo! Tch-hoooum! ISCHOUM!"

Hazel eyes slowly met deep brown and Spock melted upon hearing the small sniffle and "Bless me."

[stifledsneezelover]

Oh my gosh more please!!!! I swear my heart races every time I read this fic. Please continue!!

[Ikki209]

*giggling forever* this is wonderful and I know exactly how Uhura feels these two people being all happy and sneezy together I love the projected sneeze, why do I get the feeling that they will really have far too much fun with that xD Although I have to wonder, does Uhura know about Spock? In my head she knows everything and I'm not sure if I'm projecting that headcanon or not lol

[KickingUpTheDust]

Hey guys, no that was the end of 'I Am Illogical' - thank you for all your support!

Don't be sad, I've just started a new fic! Go ahead and check out 'My Own Illogic' aaand comment if I should continue with that because I really don't know about it and your comments keep me writing! Thanks again!