Call of Sneeze (COD Sneezefic)

[Orb]

I don't own Call of Duty MW3, but enjoy!

"Overlord's tellin' us that the jamming tower's half a kilometer away! Frost, get out of the truck!" Sandman leapt from the ruined car, and took cover from the of Russian artillary. Frost cut his seatbelt and ducked behind an overturned barrel. "Grinch, cover me! Truck, you toss a Nine-Banger. Frost and I will attack from behind. In three, two........." He sprinted for a dilapidated building,'and Frost followed, pumping his arms and legs quickly. To his left, the glare of the flash nearly overtook his view, but he regained his footing and kept going.

"Where are we going?"He asked, sliding beyond the edge of the wall. Samdman gave him a clip and loaded his M4A1.

"Down a few blocks. Overlord's say in' that if we can make it there, and attack from behind, we'll box those bastards in." He turned and picked his way down the crushed concrete slabs lining the blood-stained street. Suddenly, his head snapped back, and he was thrown forward.

"Aschoo!"

Frost glanced at him. "All right? I thought they'd found us."

"No. Keep going." He sniffed. "And be covert." He crunched a rock under his combat boot. Then he stopped again, his hand suspended in the air-more out of habit than anything, as he was wearing a helmet that concealed his features-and then sneezed again. Louder.

"Aschoo!" He bent at the waist, dropping his gun onto the ground. Frost picked his weapon up and gave it back to him, a frown creasing his face.

"Bless you. Seriously, Sandman. You okay?"

The other man nodded, taking the gun from his teammate. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Just keep you eyes peeled for the Russians. Overlord didn't mention what the plan would be if we were discovered."

Frost wasn't going to take his words to heart.

They edged past another building, onto a second block. Sandman instructed Frost to head into the moss-covered building, a shortcut to get to the frontline. He held his gun up and sweeper the room while Frost searched for ammo and a leftover RPG.

"There's nothing here-"

"Aschoo! Ah..... Ah....."Sandman knelt, tossing his gun to the floor. He snifled once, and Frost stood and walked over to his position, guiding Sandman's hand away from his face and moving him away from the window as Russian tanks rolled down the battered street.

"What are you doing?...... Ah..... Ach'tch!"He sneezed sharply, suppressing it without the use of his gloved hands. Frost could tell that his fellow soldier was on the verge of a sneezing attack. He ducked behind a desk, pulling Sandman with him.

"The Russians are down the street! We've got to be careful!" He whispered urgently. It was always awkward talking into a blacked-out faceplate of a helmet. Still, he did it anyway. Sandman snifled again and shook his head.

"But it-It itches....... Ah......." His head began to bob again and he braced his hand against the oaken desk. Frost peeked over the edge and looked out. The tanks were only halfway. Slow moving bastards they were.......

"Look, I know it does, but you have to try! The Delta team needs you to!"He hissed. Sandman shook his head.

"But I can't!" It was the first time Frost had ever heard his leader whine.

He nearly slapped him.

"Yes, you can! If you have to sneeze-"

"Ah..... Ach'tch! Ah... Ah........" Frost flipped the mans visor up and shoved his gloved hand against the man's haggard face. He sneezed forcefully into his fingers, and Frost saw droplets on his own visor. "Were......Were are they..... Ah...... Ach'tch! Where are they now?" Sandman asked, sneezing into his hand again. Frost shook his head.

"Stifle 'em. I'll go and check, but just keep your sneezes bottled up!"He whispered. Sandman gave a meek smile and pressed his right index finger firmly under his nose. Frost got up and made his way to the window.

No one was there.

"They're gone. Let's go before-"

"Aschoo! Ahhh......Huh.......Hashoo!" He sneezed violently this time.

"Sandman, they're gone! We can get out of here!"He flipped his visor back into place just as Sandman sneezed again. He snifled.

"Derek?"Snadman had never used Frost's real name before. "Thanks. And.... Don't mention any of this to the others...... Aschoo!" He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. Frost grinned.

"Sure."

"That's an order."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Sandman stood and held his gun up as he made his way to a doorway. "Let's....... Ah..... Ah........ Let's get out of here........ Aschoo! Ah.... Aschoo! Aschoo! Ahh.... ASCHOO!" His head shot forward and his body bent sharply at the waist. His M4A1 clattered to the floor.

"Bless you times four." Frost said, picking up his fellow soldier's gun.

"Thank you."

Down the way they went, stopping so Sandman could sneeze. As Frost studied the way the other man sneezed, he thought of how he sneezed. Loud and proud, he thought, as he took aim at their first Russian.

"Wait," Sandman put a hand on his gun arm.

"Yeah?"

"You throw a grenade. Then they won't know what the hell hit 'em." He snifled and nearly sneezed.

"Ah..... *sniff*..... Ah....... "It only worsened. "Ah.... Aschoo! Ah..... Ah......." His visor was flipped up and Frost slipped his own finger under the other man's nose.

"Hold still and clench your stomach muscles."

"What?" His eyes fluttered.

"Trust me, Sandman!"

"Ah..... Ah..... Hah....... Haschoo!" He sneezed explosively into Frost's finger. He wiped it on his clothes.

"Bless you again, Sandman." He unclipped a stun grenade and chucked it, and nearly burst out laughing when he heard the frantic:

"Stun grenada!"

His gaze settled back on Sandman and he nearly shrieked. Not very manly. His comrade was caught mid-sneeze, an a live stun grenade in his hand. Only two seconds before

It exploded.

He coughed and sat up, his vision gray and blurry. His ears rang and he was hit by a wave of nausea as the grenade took affect. Next to him, Sandman knelt, a low huffing sound coming from him. Frost studied him.

"You alright?"

No answer.

"Sandman? If you're gonna hurl 'cause of this go over there, the Russians'll see you."

He shook his head.

"Mph unnuh ease."

"What?"

"I'b gonna sneeze!" His head rose back, and each breath he took was pushing it back farther. Frost rubbed his eyes and swooned as a detached feeling came over him. Now was not the time to go insane, Derek, he reminded himself. Sandman's head began to bob more, a sneeze becoming evident even past his dark mask.

"Hah...... Hhaahhh........ Hah........." Frost maneuvered Sandman's helmet visor up and removed a packet of tissues from his cargo pocket. He opened them hurriedly and gave them to the other man, who's face was coated in sweat and mud. "Hah..... HHHAAAASSSSHHHHOOOOOO!" His head snapped forward, and he was rent in half from the force of the sneeze. Frost shook his head in amazement at Sandman. Did he have allergies? He snifled and shook his head to clear it of congestion and the lingering effects of the stun grenade.

"There, should be gone. Let's get this thing done and done right, Frost."

"Yeah. And Sandman?"

"What?"

"You have big sneezes."

Frost would never see the leader more embarrassed in his life.

_____________________________________________

Okay! That's only Delta's-There are others, so don't worry!

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

What...what was this that you have written.....?

I can't, I love you, this is too much!

[Orb]

Is that a good thing or a bad thing..............?

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Is that a good thing or a bad thing..............?

It's a wondeful thing!

There will be more of this yes???

[Anonymouse]

I am a huge fan of your stories!

[Orb]

Thank you! There will be more, do you guys want to have Sandman, Truck, Grinch, or Frost to be the next victim? Even Overlord can get in on the...... Action-and so can Yuri, Soap, and Price. I have tons of ways these stories can go, so don't worry!

[rockblock706]

I'm not sure who should be in the next story, but I just wanted you to know that COD stories and military stories are so original and you do an awesome job on them!

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Thank you! There will be more, do you guys want to have Sandman, Truck, Grinch, or Frost to be the next victim? Even Overlord can get in on the...... Action-and so can Yuri, Soap, and Price. I have tons of ways these stories can go, so don't worry!

Thank you! There will be more, do you guys want to have Sandman, Truck, Grinch, or Frost to be the next victim? Even Overlord can get in on the...... Action-and so can Yuri, Soap, and Price. I have tons of ways these stories can go, so don't worry!

Frost! Definitely Frost next.

The sweet dear would be interesting.

[Orb]

Okay, Frost. I'm actually a girl, but I chose male for internet safety reasons, just so you know. It's why I started writing the COD one-I like guys sneezing.

[Orb]

Frost's nose has other ideas while he's on deployment back in the New York harbor. This time, he's under pressure. Literally.

He pulled on his wetsuit and rubbed his nose. Beside him, Sandman slipped on his own. This mission, in the same general area as yesterday, they would be trying to sabatage the Russian ships and submarines heading to take the bay. Their mission was simple: Capture one enemy ship and turn their own missiles against the fleet. It would cripple the Russian defenses and allow Seal Team 6 to swoop in and finish the battle. They couldn't fail. If they did, New York would fall, and they would end up fighting to protect even the rural areas.

He hoped Sandman would'nt have any issues like yesterday. This was a covert operation-if he sneezed-especially under water, where the force could snap the air pipe-their cover would be blown and they would be taken prisoner-or worse, killed.

"Know what we're doin'?" Truck nudged his shoulder and Frost nodded, explaining it to him.

"Alright! Overlord made it clear that if we fail, New York will be taken and destroyed before our own eyes. This is covert-no noise above a whisper. Keep your weapons silent, and try not to bump into any mines those Russian bastards may have laid out for us!" Sandman shouted, flipping back words off into the water. Frost shuddered at the darkness of it. It only meant cold and blindness to him.

He dove.

"Frost, you hear what I said?" Sandman asked as Frost nearly veared into a mine. Frost whispered the affermative. They swam farther.

He snifled as the urge to sneeze nearly overtook him, and once again nearly crashed..... Right into Grinch. The man grunted.

"That's my leg you just hit, Frost. What's the matter with you? Keep it together!" He growled.

"I'm trying!" He answered.

"Guys, shut the hell up! We got a bogy-this is a sub. Lots of missiles, lots of Russians. Frost, get the other side planted with charges. Grinch, help me take the front. Truck, you handle the left back. Go, go, go!" His mini-sub shot ahead as he accelerated. Grinch followed.

Sniffing, Frost gripped the charges tightly, squeezing his eyes shut and freeing in place.

"Hey, Frost!" Truck stopped beside him, pushing his mask tighter against his face. "What's wrong? Plant the charges and let's go."

His head pitched back, and his face shifted.

"Hah..... Hah..........."

"Haha, very funny, man. Come on, let's -" he stopped mid-sentance as Frost's head arched forward, and his hand slammed the charges against the submarine's backside.

"Hah....... Hashew!" The cord on his air tank snapped, and Frost felt another sneeze worm its way into his nostrils just as water filled his field of vision, and he felt himself intake a whole liter of water as he gasped for the air to sneeze.

"Sandman, Sandman? Dammit! It's dead! I'm trying for Overlord-hang in there Frost! Frost? Stay with........."

Everything faded to black as his oxygen gushed into the open sea.

"Shut up, Grinch! He's waking up!" Sandman stood crouched over him, concern etching lines of fear in his worn face. Frost wanted to say thank you, but his only response was a-

"Hashew! Hah..... Hah..... Hashew!" Sneeze.

Truck, Grinch, and Sandman were all still dripping wet, and Frost took the opportunity to ask what happened.

"I'll tell you what happened," Truck said grimly, "You sneezed and water got into you. End of story." Frost felt another sneeze building, and he didn't like the gruff attitude. Still, it was typical of him-a good sign.

"What about the mission? We were so close, and-" Sandman held up his radio. A smile crossed his face.

"We destroyed their asses! They didn't even know what hit them! Once Grinch and I figured out something was wrong, we contacted Overlord and he called in Seal Team 6. They took over while we got you to the beach. Gary over there helped you out-gave you CPR."

Frost set his gaze on the old, graying medic. Then he sneezed.

"Ach'tch! Hah.... Hashew! Hashew! Hah..... Hah..... Hah........ Hashew!"He sat bolt upright and sneezed violently, scattering the members of the Felt team. Gary stood and grinned.

"Bless you, mate. Good luck with those yellow-bellied cowards, you hear?" A chopper flew down, swirling up more sand. Great, he felt another-

"Hashew!" He caught it in the back of his hand. Snadman laughed.

"Know how it feels now, huh?"

"Yeah. " He laid back in the sand, feeling the warmth of it as wreckage crew labored to clear it. He slipped into sleep..... But not before he heard Sandman erupt while talking to Grinch as he started a fire.

"Ah..... Ashoo!"

____________________________________________

Who next? Frost and Sandman are out, so that leaves...... Overlord and Price as major characters. I would love to hear myself how Overlord sneeze in that voice of his..........

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

You you you-

You have just won over my heart!

Please do write more, whom ever you choose will turn out just as perfect

[Orb]

I'm glad to hear that! I'll write about Price next, since he IS kind of iconic-and he-s about to be deployed on a tense mission........

[Anonymouse]

I'm not familiar with CoD really but I love these regardless. There's an element of danger that makes it more exciting without going overboard. Also unrelated but your icon!! The Big Bad Wolf<3

[Orb]

Aw, thank you! My icon is the pig giving him money and saying, "Blow it down..... But make it look like an accident." lol, I liked that one.

You can find it under 'sneezing wolves' images

[Orb]

Y. F.O. L.O I am Yolo-ing it!

[Orb]

Here goes, for Price!

Yuri rose out of the water, following Soap and Price as they made their way to the muddy bank. They had to be silent, or the Africans would see them. Yuri loaded his gun and crept to the slopped-up riverbed, wiping mud from his brow. Price and Soap had already gone up the side, and were hiding under the wooden bridge.

"Yuri, get o'er here! We got a truck on its way in!" Soap whispered urgently. Yuri sipped and fell, spitting out globules of chalky mud. His tooth had struck a rock. Blood dripped from his mouth. He ignored it and ducked under the white-painted bridge, just as a truck-loaded with fast-speaking Africans- swerved into view from behind a tree. It parked above them, and they got out, studying the swampy land with a practiced eye.

"Hk'ch!"

Yuri's head whipped around and he watched as Price's shoulders jerked up and he sneezed again.

"Hk'ch!"

He winced. That one what louder. The Africans above them turned at the noise and began asking something that sounded vaguely like a "What was that?"

Price pinched his nose and Yuri nearly told him to shut up as his shoulders jerked again.

"Hk'ch! Hk'ch!"

"Dow thar!" Crap-that sounded like 'down there!' He aimed his gun up the bank, and so did Soap and Price. Two men slid down the mud, barefoot and wearing ratty clothes. Mean looking AK's swung from their back-no doubt supplied by the Russians, who had given them money, weapons, and food in exchange for service. One of them carried C4. And a pissed look.

"Tooideh C4!" He tossed it into the dark bridge. Right in front of Yuri.

"Duck, Yuri!" Price shot at one of them, and the man collapsed in the slick mud. At his shout, the other man summoned more, who charged down into the river water. Soap stood and raced downriver, beckoning Yuri and Price to follow. The C4's remote lay in the water next to the dead African, who Soap had shot as he was running. Quickly snatching it up, Yuri stole the C4 and its remote and followed the other two. The Africans crawled back into the truck and drove it into the river to follow them. It stuck in the mud. Yuri had to keep from laughing as they jumped out and kicked the doors, shouting Afrikaan curses.

"The hell was sat, Price?" Soap snarled once they were a safe distance away. He shrugged. Suddenly, he jerked forward, and stifled another sneeze into his fingers.

"Hick'ch!"

Yuri asked where they were going now that the mission was compromised. He shouldered his gun as he slogged through the mud.

"There..... Hk'ch!...... There's a rout that goes beyond here. It's longer than the last, but at least then we'll be able to catch one of Warraabe's men and find out from them what he's hiding from us."

Yuri nodded and strapped the C4 to his back-no, he realized. If someone shot him from behind, he and the others would be blown to bite-size bits. So he positioned it on his torse, tying the remote as well.

"You brought C4 and you di'nt tell us?" Soap asked pointedly. He shook his head.

"One of those bastards threw it at us. You shot him and he never blew it up." He jerked his head at the noise of another....

"Hk'ch! Hah.... Hk'ch!" Price stifled two more into his elbow.

"Again, Price-what the hell's wrong wit' you?" Soap demanded.

"Told you; I don't know!" Price said forcefully. That shut him up.

He didn't sneeze for the whole mission-at least, not in front of Soap and Yuri.

______________________________________________________________

End scene! Who's the next victim-sorry, sneezer?........ I'm open to ideas and suggestions!

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Heeheehee these make me giggle.

I have to say i'm a sucker for Frost and Sandman

These are really well written.

[Guest]

Oh wow!! I've been searching for somthing like that like... forever!! Great, great, great!!! You have to go on, pls!!!

[Orb]

If you liked Frost and Snadman, I give you the next, the GREATEST..........

[Orb]

Sandman slipped through the jungle, motioning to Frost to follow. The Russians had switched tactics in an act of desperation, and weretrying to take over the thick jungles of the Amazon. The thing was, they had no idea that South America was not neutral; it was allied with America, France, Germany, and the other countries involved in the war. Frost and Sandman had been chosen singlehandedly by the President to go on a sabatoge mission, to detonate a weapon's cache of the Russians. Of course, this was something Frost knew was right up his alley. He liked-no, he loved missions like this, against the Russian forces, just two people. He'd read somewhere that smaller groups worked at more tactical situations better than larger ones.

"Up ahead one kilometer, approximately." Sandman whispered over the dull roar of the jungle.

"Copy that." He whispered. At the same time, Frost wanted to get out of the jungle, because every shadow could be an enemy, every plant could hold a virus, or a deadly disease, every corner some ghastly animal. Sandman ducked behind a thick-truncked tree as two Russian men walked by, chatting in their native language. Some words sounded like English, and others twisted the words so thickly they became unrecognizable. He crouched behind a yellow and red painted plant, praying some man-eating ant wasn't living inside. He sniffed-a bad idea. Suddenly an agonizing itch grew in his nose, and he pressed his finger to his face. Sandman looked up and shook his head wildly. Frost shook his head.

"I can't!" He hissed. One of the men stopped and looked in his direction. Right at him.

"Hang on-I'll throw the charges and we'll go, okay?" Sandman replied. The men shrugged and left, after shining their lights at the dim darkness.

Hope you bastards contract malaria, Frost thought over the defeaning irritation. Finally, he couldn't help it;this was taking too long.

"Xxssgt!" He pitched his nostrils and pitched forward, face first into the plant-probably the one with the damned pollen. Sandman crawled over and hauled him up, concern etching thin lines into his face.

"Bless you, Derek. Now can you keep a lid on it?"

Frost couldn't help it, and Sandman knew that. Because he was starting to experience the same thing. His nose began to itch unbearably and he was sniffling too.

"Hah.... hah...... Huh-xxsgt!" He sneezed into his arm, and shook his head. "What the hell is that?'

"I..... I.... Xxsgt! I don't know....... Xxsgt!" Frost sneezed again. Finally, he decided enough was enough. "Let's just go plant the charges, Sandman; I'll never get this stuff outta my nose."

Sandman sniffed congestedly, and froze. Frost gestured to the Russian camp.

"Come on," He whispered.

"Hah..... HATCHEW!" Sandman lurched forward and stumbled into the jungle tree. Frost winced- that looked like it hurt. Shouts rang out, and bullets began penetrating the thick foliage, embedding themselves in the soil and into plants. One found the mysterious plant, and a plume of pollen burst forth, painting everything within a ten yard radius a dull, dusty gold. Frost rubbed his eyes as he listened for his dead mother's voice, and his grandparents. None came, and he sneezed into his elbow.

"Sandman, you alright?" He asked over the com.

"Peatchy.... Hah-Haxxgst!" The night sky filled with sounds of birds squawking, and people sneezing and firing aimlessly into the dark.

"Overlord's goin' to hang us for this," Sandman groaned. Frost agreed; they'd wind up hanging from the rafters by their toes. But all wasn't lost yet......

"If you still have the charges, Sandman, give 'em to me and I'll run 'em over."

"You sure? None of the bastards know where they're firing anymore, and I don't want anyone from Delta to die." Sandman sounded torn. On one hand, he wanted to get the mission done and done right, and on the other, he didn't want his friend to be shot full of lead.

"Just-give them to.... Huh.... Hah-Xxsgt!" Frost winced and took them from Sandman. "Hide."

"What?"

"You heard me!"

"Fine, Frost. But if you die..... I die too."

He was fine with that, and Frost kept that in mind as he sprinted for the base, planted the charges, and dove for cover before a single shot could be aimed or even fired.

The Russians wondered where all that equipment and ammo went, and why they lost the battle for the Amazon River. There were no survivers, all except for the two miracle men the President had chosen, sneezing and sniffling on the way back to North American soil

If you want any more Frost and Sandman ones, I can right more;They seem to be a favorite!

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

*flails and giggles*

Yes yes YES!!!!! I am in love!

[Orb]

Do you want another one? I got tons more scenarios fixed in my mind!

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Oh please! Yes!

When you get time that is

[Guest]

Awwww!

Made my day

[Orb]

Well, people say that if you don't have time.....

THEN MAKE TIME!!! Which is technically true