To Each His Own (SPN)

[Anilkex]

So.

I've had a bit of writer's block, and wanted something simple (hush) to write, just to get things going again. So I asked SenBeret to choose a prompt from TG's meme, because I have 10 prompts started in 10 Google docs and nothing was flowing. I needed a push. She gave me a push by choosing a prompt.

Naturally what should've been something simple morphed into something that will be one part Winchester ridiculousness to one part if all goes according to plan. I altered the prompt a tiny bit, which was written by the talented Gingerdean. Since it's ending up a multi-section blob, I'm posting sections here, then will link it to the meme. I keep posing stuff in 10 parts on LJ and it feels silly.

The prompt was thus:

One of the boys has a terrible cold. The other one is dealing with really bad allergies. The boys are super sneezy of course, and each brother is exhibiting their own unique sneezing patterns. For example, maybe one has loud, bellowing sneezes, the other one is having softer, rapid fits? Or maybe they have some other quirk to the way they are sneezing. The boys make fun of each other for their sneezing mannerisms.

Alternatively (or in addition?), the boys go to a drugstore and try to find the appropriate meds for each other's ailments.

So. Hope it pushes buttons.

xxxxxxx

They woke late. They both knew it. Neither of them cared.

They listened to the sounds of a family checking out and lugging all their shit into a minivan. They listened to water rushing through the pipes as someone took a late morning shower. They listened to each other sniffling because the Kleenex box was too far away.

“I don’t wanna go outside,” Sam whined, breaking the silence. “Even for coffee.” He coughed a little on the drainage running down the back of his throat, his bed jostling from the movement.

“ ‘s okay, don’t want coffee.” Dean threw an arm over his eyes and suppressed a groan.

Sam turned to face his brother, an eyebrow raised. “Since when do you not want coffee?”

Dean coughed. “Since I almost drowned in the storm last night while you sat in the car.”

Sam’s tone turned indignant. “You made me stay there!”

Dean scrubbed a hand under his nose. “And I can’t believe you did. Fuck, I feel like shit.”

Sam huffed and rolled onto his back, mumbling. “It’s not like I was much help, anyway. Stupid fucking allergies.”

“Yeah, well, now we’re both fucked up for a while.” Dean coughed again, and this time he did groan.

“We still checking out today?” Sam asked, not wanting to move, but not wanting to stay in pollen central a second longer than necessary.

“Fuck yeah, we are. Going somewhere warmer, nicer, drier, and cleaner until we can both breathe normally.”

“Bobby’s?”

“Duh…”

xxxxx

Over an hour later, after loading up on Kleenex, they were in the Impala, heading North to Bobby’s house. Dean called ahead with a warning that they were both a mess. Sam’s allergies chose to flare up a couple days ago, leaving him almost worthless on this last hunt. Dean was forced to handle the ritual by himself, but naturally it was in the freezing rain after a couple sleepless nights. He’d caught a cold that was just beginning to blossom into something spectacular.

Dean’s everything ached, especially his head, but that didn’t stop him from driving. Sam’s flare-ups left him breathless and unable to focus, putting the Impala at risk.

“Shit…” Dean glanced over and found Sam pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed shut.

He plucked a couple tissues from the box and tossed them at Sam. “Here…” He said lamely, knowing there wasn’t much else he could do.

Sam blindly groped for them. He picked them up off his chest and lap, balled them in a fist and held them under his nose. Scrubbing back and forth, Sam looked out the window, breathing slowly through his mouth.

Dean recognized Sam’s breathy panting, “Hehhh….hiiiihhhh…”, each one rising slightly in pitch, and deepening in intensity. He wanted to snap his fingers, telling Sam to get a move on and sneeze already, but he knew it was pointless.

Like everything else with Sam, sneezing was all drama, and he’d do it when he was ready to do it, not a second more. Long-winded buildups, drooping and sniffling afterwards. Just like...everything with him.

Dean grinned to himself, coughing into a fist, vowing to share that realisation with Bobby once they arrived.

Sam’s head reared back and snapped forward, “hhhiiiihh-HKISSHHHHYUUuu!” He sniffled, blew his nose, then sagged, just as predicted.

Dean couldn’t help it - he chuckled. But the chuckle turned on him, and he ended up coughing miserably.

Sam turned watery eyes on him. “What’s so funny?” He sniffed again and swiped at his nose with a sleeve.

“Jesus Christ, Sam, there’s a box right here,” Dean groused, tossing the box onto Sam’s lap.

Rolling his eyes, Sam huffed. “The sleeve was closer.” Still, he took a few more tissues and scrubbed his nose, eyes already flitting closed. “I...hehhhh...hiiiiiihhhh...heh-hih-hih-HKISSSHHHHYuu!” He groaned and flopped back against the seat.

Dean just smiled and kept driving.

“Seriously. What are you smiling about?” Sam frowned out the window, not meeting Dean’s eyes.

Shrugging, Dean leaned an elbow on the door, choosing to casually steer with one hand. “Nothin’, Sammy. Just watching the academy performance over there.”

Sam turned his frown full onto Dean. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chuckling, Dean licked his lips, shifted in his seat, and took the wheel with both hands. “You just have this…” He waved a hand around. “...thing, with sneezing.”

Now he had Sam’s full attention. “What thing, exactly, do I have with sneezing?”

Dean caught the tone, and sighed on the inside, instantly regretting his words. He had a SammyFight on his hands now, and those never ended well. He chose his next words (mostly) carefully.

Shrugging with his eyebrows, Dean answered, “You know...a thing.”

Smooth.

Sam folded his arms in front of his chest and swiveled to face Dean. “Eloquent. Try a...hehhh…” He quickly unfolded his arms and covered his face with both hands. “...hiiiihhh-hih-heh-HETTTSHSHHHCHHYUUuuu! *sniff* agaid.” Going for dignity, he refolded his arms and plastered a pissy look on his face. His nose still itched, but he swallowed convulsively in an effort to control the next sneeze that threatened his indignation.

Dean dragged a hand down his face, massaging his neck. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “You just tend to take a while getting it done. That’s all. Look, forget I said anything, okay?” Dean coughed, a tight feeling spreading across his chest.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “I take a while? Is there a sneeze appointment I’m late for? A deadline I’m failing to meet somehow?” Sam went for sarcasm to hide his embarrassment. He knew his sneezes were big productions. Bad allergies in school meant lower grades - between the build-ups and the constant agony, he had such a hard time paying attention.

Swallowing again, Sam couldn’t help but lower his eyes to his lap, despite the snarky tone in his voice.

Dean caught both, and bit his lip. Frantically, he searched for a way to take it back or spin it into something positive. Like there was a positive to the DramaQueen’s epic perf - “Hetchch!! Itschsh!! Hrschchsh!!” -ormance. Caught off guard, Dean tripled into his shoulder, motioning with his hand for the tissue box, nestled snugly on Sam’s lap.

Sam’s eyes widened as he handed over a wad of Kleenex, and an evil grin spread across his face. “Well. At least I don’t sneeze like a semi-automatic.” Feeling a little vindicated, Sam waggled his eyebrows and Dean, and turned to watch the scenery fly by through the passenger window.

Dean rubbed his nose with the tissues, and scrunched his face together. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Sniffling, Sam nodded at Dean. “Your sneezing. You’re all…” Sam proceeded to make noises meant to sound like bullets from a gun. “...when you sneeze. Little bursts of pansy.” Feeling cocky, he continued. “At least mine are manly.”

Then he sniffled pathetically.

Outraged, Dean sat up straight, compassion for Sam all forgotten. “What?! Bullshit! I don’t... Etschshsh!! Itschch!! H’yishshch!!! ...sneeze like a pansy.” He gasped for air. “And what’s manly about all that drama you have going on?”

“What drama? I can’t help it if I...cram a lot of awesome into each sneeze.” Huffing, he used a tone indicating that he was finished talking.

“Whatever, Sam.”

xxxxx

It was mostly quiet in the Impala for the rest of the drive to Bobby’s. Really. It was. Both brothers refused to give the other ammunition over their sneezing styles.

They knew the argument was petty and stupid.

They still stifled as much as possible.

But then they got to Bobby’s, where they were supposed to relax and get better. Instead, they hedged around each other.

Sam’s allergies were still a problem. Dean’s cold was in full bloom. Neither could tell for sure, but they each could swear that the urgency to sneeze was constant.

Despite wanting to crawl under the covers, Dean retreated to the garage, where he could sneeze openly and in relative privacy. There was no way Sam would hang around anywhere exposed to fresh air, which allowed Dean to just let loose.

“Ichhhtt! Titchhh! Hih’Chhhh!” That string went against his wrist.

“It’titchhh! Huh’Shhttt! It’Titchhhh!” That burst was in the crook of his arm.

“Hihchhhh! Huh’Eitttttchh!! Itschchh!!” For those, Dean bent double and just sneezed onto the floor.

As he stood slowly, Dean thought about what Sam said. Rapid-fire pansy sneezing. Was that what he sounded like? Dean pressed a fist to his nose and stifled sloppily. “HNGTXT’chuh!” Taking a swift sniff, he sat on a rickety stool and took stock of his sneezing.

“Hetschch!” Okay, so there wasn’t much of a tickle or an itch before the sneeze exploded out of him. Dean sharply looked around the garage for witnesses, then rolled his eyes at himself. Right. Because Bobby needed to spy on his sneezing habits.

Pulling at his chin, Dean grudgingly had to admit that his sneezing was rather rapid-fire. Not all the time, but mostly. And they did sound kind of...weak. He sighed, and swallowed down a cough. Maybe he could fix it. Maybe he could change his pattern.

Maybe he could - “Hetchchsh!! Itschsh!! Hrschchsh!!” ...not.

He blew his nose and squared his shoulders. He could do this. He was Dean Fucking Winchester, slayer of demons, beheader of vampires. He saved lives all the time. Surely he could sneeze differently.

“Heh-Mphshch!”

Not quite what was was looking for.

Resignedly, Dean blew his nose into the last Kleenex, then headed inside for more, snuffling the whole way. He’s had stupid thoughts, but changing a sneezing pattern had to rank up there with the best. Or worst. Or whatthefuckever. He could hear Sam now.

So you admit you sneeze like a pansy? You can’t change an reflexive action, Dean, that’s not how it works. I guess you just have to live with it.

The internal whining was pathetic, and Dean knew it. He gave himself a pass, blaming it on the fever that tingled within every cell of his body. Shivering, he opened the back door and entered the kitchen, only to panic-freeze when he saw Sam leaning on the counter, his back to Dean. Sam didn’t react to his entrance, and Dean remembered that oh right, Sam can’t hear his thoughts, so he relaxed and shut the door quietly.

Sam had a mini maglite in one hand and a tissue in the other. What the fuck was he doing? Realizing that he was spying on his little brother, Dean had a nanosecond of hesitation before shoving it down the stairs in favor of curiosity.

He watched Sam’s shoulders tense, and the tissue hand went to his face. Dean knew what that meant - he’ll get to witness another manly sneeze from his baby brother. (Fever, fever, fever, that’s why I’m whiny, fever, fever fever)

Sam’s frame quivered as the hitching breaths began. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other in anticipation, and again, Dean wanted to snap his fingers to make it all happen already. After the second hitch, Sam shined the flashlight at his face, forcing the hitching into a ragged inhale. “HRRTSCHCHYUUUuu!” Followed by a raspy, “Eh...little better…*sniff*”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. He would’ve lead with a snappy comment, but a doubled ripped out, with no real warning. “Etschch! Hptschch!”

Sam spun around, eyes frantic, and dropped the flashlight on the floor as his hand flew to his chest. “Dean! What the fuck!” Heart pounding, and blood rushing in his ears, Sam shakily retrieved the maglite, checking to see if it still worked. “You scared the shit outta me!” Once the panic receded, his angsty bitchy-face was in full view, and he glared accusingly at his brother.

Dean fought against a tiny wave of guilt. It was small but probably should be worked with. “Sorry...needed more Kleenex.” He dragged a sleeve under his nose for emphasis as he crossed the room to grab a handful of the fluffy stuff.

Sam sagged against the counter and wiped his eyes. “It’s okay...just...you startled me. How’re you feeling?” Sam decided he should be nice and ask.

Dean shrugged. “Been better.”

Sam nodded, and Dean leaned against the counter next to him.

Aaaaand, they stood there, nodding at no one and looking anywhere but at each other. Finally, Dean’s curiosity beat his guilt into a bloody pulp. “So...what’s with the light?”

Sam jumped a little and ran a hand through his hair, eyes darting this way and that. Dean moved in for the kill. “C’mon, Sammy. Fess up. What, you needed a little push to sneeze even more like a man?” Okay, maybe not a killing blow, but fever, fever, fever.

Sam sighed. “It was stupid. Just...trying something out.”

Dean just raised an eyebrow and folded his arms. He was patient.

Blowing out a breath, Sam confessed, “I was trying to change how I sneeze, okay? I know, it’s fucking stupid and insane and you can’t change a reflexive action, okay? I know that already. But you’re right. It’s annoying, and embarrassing, and so yeah, okay? Okay. There. Go ahead and let the insults fly.”

He stomped to the table and sat in a huff, slumping against the chair’s back and crossing his arms like a small child.

The whole thing happened so fast, it took a minute for Dean’s fevered brain to process it all. Once he did, he started to laugh, which quickly turned into a coughing fit, forcing him to sit with his brother at the table, whose glare turned downright lethal at Dean’s amusement.

“Yeah, yeah yeah. Laugh it up, asshole. I hope you choke on all that snot.”

Dean waved a hand in front of his face, simultaneously trying to tell Sam nonono that’s not it, while not choking on said snot. Rolling his eyes, Sam got up and got Dean a glass of water. A couple sips later, Dean was able to choke out, “I was thinking the same thing.”

Sam’s face screwed up in confusion. “You were thinking I should change how I sneeze? I already knew that, genius.”

Dean blew his nose, frustrated with the length of time it was taking to get this out (the message, not the snot). “No, shut up a minute.” He took a sip of water, wincing as it slid past his sore throat. “I meant, that I was thinking I should change how I sneeze.” Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously. Right before I came in here. Thought you’d rip me a new one for it.”

They both looked at each other sheepishly before softly laughing. Maybe they could read each other’s thoughts.

“I dunno, man. It seemed like a stupid idea.” Sam prodded the table leg with his toe, unconsciously pouring all the woe is me he could muster into that one movement.

As stupid as this situation is, that last bit from Sam pulled at Dean’s big brother strings. Actually, who was he kidding? Everything Sam did pulled at his big brother strings. “If you came up with it, it can’t be that stupid.”

Sam’s eyes lit up a little. “Yeah, but you came up with it, too.”

Dean was ready for that one. He pointed to his head. “Was the fever talking. I’m not in my right mind, so something brilliant was bound to pop out of here.”

Sam snorted, but gave Dean his best eight-year-old hopeful look. “You think we can?”

Dean shrugged. “Only one way to find out.”

xxxxx

[Sawyer]

FUCK ME. You're getting a list. Wwwwwwwow.

(Feels like I am getting a lot of shout outs on people's SPN fics lately… which is awesome because maybe it will help people forget that I haven't written anything over 200 words in months…)

1. SOOOOo huh I like how it's Sam with allergies and Dean with a cold. I don't know WHY, but I always thought that this was more fitting for both of them?? Good choice. And also the way that you explained how Dean got sick is really nice!! I don't know, I always love knowing reasons for that kind of stuff. I think it's so cool and romantic.

2. Adorable how they were passing tissues to each other in the car!!

3. Sam with the buildups! Dude, I don't know why, but I've always had a weird head canon for that also… that Sam's sneezes take longer and are more dramatic (JUST like he is… which you also mentioned!!) and that Dean's are smaller and quicker and really sudden. It's like this was catered just for meeeeee!

4. This part:

“Jesus Christ, Sam, there’s a box right here,” Dean groused, tossing the box onto Sam’s lap.

Rolling his eyes, Sam huffed. “The sleeve was closer.”

5. "sneeze appointment"!!!! Oh my GOD.

6. Just, again, love how much Dean's sneezes catch him off guard, and the way you work that in to it like, interrupting his inner monologue and stuff. Really amazing and funny and cute and VERY HOT.

7. This spelling: “HNGTXT’chuh!” Also really hot.

8. And wow, the cuteness of them trying to manipulate and control their sneezes!! That's so hot also! I guess, like, the idea of trying to control sneezing and then to find out that it has way more control over you… man I love it.

9. Your whole tone, actually, has always been so funny and unique and creative. Like, in a way that I really truly genuinely think that you could write for TV. Do you?? I mean, you could say that you do and I wouldn't be surprised at all.

10. And oh my god, the way that Sam explains how you can't change a reflexive action and it's almost verbatim what Dean had imagined him to say!!! Love how they know each other so well.

11. And the flashlight thing… DUDE… love it so much. And aww, Sam being annoyed and embarrassed by his sneezing style! And Dean too!

12. This:

“If you came up with it, it can’t be that stupid.”

Sam’s eyes lit up a little. “Yeah, but you came up with it, too.”

13. And also the thing about Dean forgetting that Sam can't read his thoughts!!!!!

This is so promising. This is so SO amazing already and I'm so happy that you're the one writing this prompt… I owe you my everything.

[ValkyriePleasant]

This is beautiful.

[HPG]

I cannot wait for this to continue.

[SterlingSilver]

Anilkex~! THIS IS SO PERFECT~

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS <33

Fantastic work with this prompt, and I really, really loved the idea of Dean getting all flustered because Sam accuses him of having "pansy" sneezes xD

But just like everything else Dean-related, he's adorkable and such a cutie-pie even though he tries not to be >w<. Both types of sneezes suited the brothers so well!

Great job on this~!

[Sophie<3]

“Fuck yeah, we are. Going somewhere warmer, nicer, drier, and cleaner until we can both breathe normally.”

“Bobby’s?”

“Duh…”

I loved this!!

Like everything else with Sam, sneezing was all drama, and he’d do it when he was ready to do it, not a second more.

And this!!

“Nothin’, Sammy. Just watching the academy performance over there.”

And this!! Dean's so sassy, I love it!!

Seriously, I loved so many things about this! Dean's snarky commentary! The dialogue! The whole idea of different sneeze patterns and the way you worked with that! I can't even decide whether this was hilarious or hot... It was probably both at the same time, which is good! Awww... I really loved this!

Basically, can I just second everything Sen Beret said? Because she's awesome at putting this stuff into words and I agree 100%!

Thanks so much for writing this and sharing it with us!

PS: Again... what's with all these BRILLIANT SPN writers? Just when I think I know 'em all.... Don't get me wrong. It's making me really, really happy! (:

[beatlelover22]

Um, this is the BEST! I love how sarcastic they both are, it's great

[Always-a-Ginger]

So many cute things in here. Love how they both think the same thing and are embarrassed by it. And I love Dean interrupting his own thoughts with sneezes. Really looking forward to the rest.

[gingerdean]

Hello! My first time commenting on a fic on this forum, and since you pulled me over here (and are filling my prompt, yay!), it's all for you

So..this is seriously AMAZING so far. I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said already! I'm also glad you went with allergic Sam and sick Dean, it just fits both of them so well. And their sneezing styles...omg, Dean! You're killing me with all the mini fits, and the surprise sneezes that keep sneaking up on him, I just LOVE that. And I love how much it annoys Dean So cute. And I am absolutely loving Sam's loooong buildups. So spoiled by this! And your banter between the boys just cracks me up ('little bursts of pansy' haha!) I can't wait to see more. Thank you!!!

[Masked.Maiden]

OMG this is an amazing SPN fic! I can't believe I haven't had the chance to comment on it 'til now. Thanks for writing this Anilkex.

Also, Sam and Dean trying to chance their sneezes is awesome. So cute.

[Nola]

Posted 24 August 2014 - 06:55 PM

Anilkex, on 24 August 2014 - 11:43 AM, said:

“Fuck yeah, we are. Going somewhere warmer, nicer, drier, and cleaner until we can both breathe normally.”

“Bobby’s?”

“Duh…”

I loved this!!

I completely agree!

I loved this story, it was so funny and sweet!

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Ahhhh the loveliness of sneezing Winchesters. Can't ever go wrong with that.

[Anilkex]

Oooh...Multiquote now works for me, but ooooh....lots of stuff there. Thanks for the wonderful words - I know where this is going, so hopefully it works for you all.

FUCK ME. You're getting a list.

WOOOOOOOOOOT! Best review line evah!

You also asked if I write for TV and I laughed at that. Not even close.

Gingerdean - glad this is filling your prompt.

Now. Part Deux...

xxxxx

They felt like little kids getting ready to do something they’d normally get in trouble for by any reasonable adult in the area. But this wasn’t anything illegal or immoral, and hey, they were adults, dammit, fully-fledged hunters and saviors of the world on an annual (seasonal?) basis.

They could do whatever the fuck they wanted.

They still waited until Bobby went into town before starting Operation: Sneezemogrify.

(Dean thought it up.)

(Sam blamed it on Dean’s lingering fever.)

They locked their bedroom door and sat on the edges of their beds, facing each other. Sam played with a flashlight while waiting for Dean to swallow some Advil.

After putting the now empty glass of water on the nightstand, Dean gestured at the maglite. “What’s with the light, anyway?”

Sam brandished the light. “Oh yeah, well, in college, I found out I have photoptarmosis, more commonly known as photic sneezing, or actually, colloquially it’s called ‘sun sneezing’. Anyway, I figured that if I could trigger the response while in the middle of an allergy fit it could possibly induce the same burstlike response. ”

Dean just blinked at him, and wiped his nose on a sleeve.

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Bright lights make me sneeze fast and I thought that if I shined a light in my face I’d sneeze faster when my allergies bother me.”

Dean nodded. “Oh. Why didn’t you just say that? Etschch-uhh! Hetschsh! Fuck me, this cold is kicking my ass.” He sniffed, then remembered there was Kleenex, so he blew his nose. In the middle of what he hoped was his last blow, he noticed Sam watching him closely. “Dude...what the fuck?”

Sam shook a finger at him. “You don’t have any build-up...like...at all, do you? I mean, it just sorta bursts out of there.”

Dean chucked the tissues into a wastebasket. “Yup. No warning at all, or at least not much of one. It usually just catches me by surpriseandthen - Hetchchsh!! Itschsh!!” He paused to blink a few times. “Like that...owwww…” He clutched his chest as he caught his breath.

Sam winced. He couldn’t imagine sneezing like that - his were filled to the brim with tickling and hitching breaths until he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t get them to move any quicker either, they just lingered tortuously until they were ready to release. “So...I need to sneeze faster, you need to sneeze slower.” He drummed his hands on his thighs. “Figures we’d need the opposite remedy.”

“Hey - makes this more of a challenge. That’s all. With your brains and my...brother’s brains, we’ll figure this out. I’m not - heh-Hptschch! hih-Yishhchew! *sniff* worried.”

Sam tilted his head. “You had something there! You sorta...um...inhaled or something right before you sneezed.”

Dean sniffled and frowned. “Yeah...yeah, I did.” He gestured at his face. “I definitely felt something in here.” He nodded. “Okay, so I just need to expand on that, right? Sam?”

Sam’s eyes were closed, and he was shaking his head back and forth. He held up a hand, telling Dean to wait a minute. Then he started. “hiiihhh...sh...shit…” His hand hovered in front of his face, ready to catch the impending sneeze. “Hehhhh...hih…” Then it lowered as the hitching slowed. Then it hovered, then lowered.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Sam.” Dean grabbed the flashlight that sat forgotten on the bed, and shined it right in Sam’s face.

The response took less than a second. “HETTTSHSHHHCHHYUUuuu! HITSCHCHCHHHYUUuu! HRSCHCHCHYUUuu! Oh by fuck…” Sam’s hand lay on his chest, and he was breathing heavily.

“Dude...that was...wow…” Dean sat back, coveting the force of Sam’s sneezing.

“Dude, that was paind...HEH-YISHCHCHYUUuuu! Paindful...add...ugh…”

“Shit...sorry about that.” Dean shut off the light, and set it behind him on the bed.

“ ‘S’okay.” Sam pressed a hand against his nose, willing the pressure to ease the slight burn in his sinuses. He took a breath, testing the water, and found no tickling left. He dropped his hand to his lap and gave Dean a stern look. “A little warning next time!”

“If I gave you warning, you wouldn’t have sneezed at all. You needed the...the...fuck...hetschch! itschchhyuu! - elebent of surprise.”

Sam wasn’t sure what an elebent was, but he understood the intent. “Good point. Anyway...I have an idea for you.”

Dean’s eyes widened as he blew his nose again. “Why me? We just figured out that the light thing has promise. You should go first.”

Sam shook his head. “Your cold is bad now. We should take advantage of that. My allergies aren’t going anywhere. Besides, I just need to go outside and roll around in the grass to get going again.”

Dean tossed the used tissues in the trash and sighed.

Sam narrowed his eyes. “What? You don’t wanna do it?”

“Nono, I do. Just feel stupid.”

“And I don’t?”

“That’s not what I meant. I’m trying to sound more...you know...I mean, I’m not...but I feel like...and...fuck it. What should I do?”

Sam knew what his brother meant. The last thing Dean Winchester wanted to do was focus on a non-testosterone aspect of his being. He nodded in understanding, and silently gloated like a good little brother.

“Okay, I think we should try to, um, make your nose itch...not enough to make you sneeze, but enough to make you want to sneeze.”

Dean made a sour face. “How the fuck is there a difference between the two? If I want to sneeze, I’ll sneeze.”

Sam snorted. “There’s a difference. Trust me. The more you want to do it, the more forceful it’ll be when you finally do.” He pulled a feather from the nightstand’s drawer, and held it up proudly. “We’ll use this.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but shifted a little uncomfortably. “What is this, a cartoon?”

“Dean…”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. I just...whatever. Fine. What do I do?” He grabbed another Kleenex and wiped his nose. It was definitely red and and starting to get sore, like his pride.

Sam squinted at him. “Yeah, it looks like your nose is pretty sensitive already, so I bet this’ll work perfectly.”

Dean frowned at him.

Sam sighed. “Not that kind of sensitive, you moron. C’mere.”

Sam tilted his head and scrunched up his forehead, as if he were examining a corpse at a morgue. Dean leaned forward anyway.

Blushing at the awkwardness of the situation, Sam hesitated before bringing the feather to Dean’s nose. Dean flinched a little, then swallowed and held still.

It didn’t take long before he understood what Sam’d been dealing with all these years.

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

*flails into a bundle of happiness* Ohhhh this is gonna be soooo goood!

:D

[NorthernLady]

asdfkjlkj

I totally adore this! i'm more of a Dean girl and, subsequently, a cold sneezes fan so this is totally pushing my buttons. Right now my mom is visiting and I praise the gods for her not understanding English This could have been awkward Anyway, I'll have to comment more later but please don't wait for it to continue.... This is AWESOME

[Sawyer]

SO HOT!! Especially that last line. Oh my god. I loved the thing about Sam figuring out he had the photic reflex while he was in college, him commenting on all of Dean's sneezes, and doing that hand-hover thing for his own (I have aaaaalways loved that)! Oh man and I have to mention specifically how much you write Dean's sneezes just like in canon, with them coming so fast and then also how he does that fast talking thing sometimes?? Just like in the show!! So good. Love it. And I can tell that things are about to get EVEN BETTER and I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait.

Edited September 2, 2014 by Sen Beret

[SexualOddity]

And in contrast to NorthernLady, I'm a Samgirl, and I also LOVE allergy sneezes, and powerful sneezes AND long and dramatic build-ups (and talking about the powerful buildupiness of them oh my God...) so this is pretty much the perfect storm for me as well. Way to appeal to the masses! Even the diverse masses. (If that makes any kind of sense).

Oh and also,

Besides, I just need to go outside and roll around in the grass to get going again.”

My God, if that happened at some point I would love you forever. Not necessarily the rolling but...gah... deliberately inducing allergies makes me swoon.

[HPG]

Dude, you're the bomb.

[Anilkex]

Bah. This was written before I saw SO's plea. So...I will either add another part, or start something new. I would rather go back to another casefic sort of scenario than drag this one on, honestly. But we'll see.

xxxxx

As soon as the feather brushed Dean’s nose, he gasped. It’s not like it hurt or even startled him, but the wispy tickle shot straight up his nostrils and into his brain.

“Dean - don’t move,” Sam admonished, but there was no real heat to his tone. He knew what Dean was feeling, and he didn’t blame him for the response. An evil, little-brother internal laugh echoed through his head, as he felt like Dean was getting something he deserved, although honestly, who wishes tortured sneezing as someone’s just desserts?

It wasn’t the sneezing that was the issue, really, Sam thought to himself as he carefully brushed the feather against Dean’s red nose. Every time Dean gasped or tried to flinch, Sam’d give him a look, and Dean fell still, swallowing heavily. The point, Sam continued, was that Dean didn’t understand that Sam is how Sam is - he didn’t choose to have drawn out allergy attacks or a massive love of research.

When something innate is made fun of, it’s worse than anything out there, because there’s no way to change it.

Sam knew this sneeze changing idea was stupid and pointless. Fiddling with it on his own was one thing - he’d been trying to change himself to fit someone else’s definition of acceptable his whole life.

Finding out Dean wanted in? Priceless.

Dean held up a hand, wordlessly telling Sam to holdonasec. He shot Sam a glare, which Sam innocently blinked at. Sam crossed his legs and waited. Dean could feel the tickling dancing around, and he wanted to get the sneeze over with, but Sam knew just how to swipe that fucking feather here and there, enough to be irritating, but not enough to actually spark something.

Dean pressed his nails into his thighs. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were watering. “Guh...this...I...heh...wow…”

Sam dangled the feather between his fingers. Dean was too wrapped up in his twitching nose to notice Sam’s sudden slightly smug expression. Unable to take anymore, Dean finger waggled at Sam. “Ok...dow...bake it….hap...heh...happend…”

Satisfied that Dean had enough, Sam slowly uncrossed his legs, ready to let his brother experience relief. As soon as the crossed leg hit the floor, Sam’s nose twitched, and he automatically brought his hands to his face, inhaling deeply...

...and forgetting that a feather was in his hand.

The tip of the feather went straight into Sam’s nose, just as he breathed in. The soft ends quivered inside his nostrils, and the sensation completely overwhelmed him. Too much affected him at once - the constant thrum of his allergies coupled with the feather set him off immediately, and left him unable to catch a breath as the fit rolled out of him.

“HETSCHCH---ITTSCHCH--HRSSCHCH--TSCHCHCH--Heh-TSCHCHYUUuu!” He gasped for air as tears rolled down his cheek.

Dean barely noticed. He’d brought his hands to his own face, confident that this hitch meant he’d finally sneeze. “hehhhh---hih--huhhhh…” His head tilted back, his mouth fell open as his eyes fell shut, and “HETSCHCHHHEW!!”

Both boys sat blinking, each fit having passed. Breathing through his mouth, Dean fumbled for the tissue box, grabbed a few, and passed it to Sam. After they’d both blown their noses and wiped their eyes, and made sure the feather was in the garbage, they looked at each other sheepishly, a slow blush creeping up their necks.

Dean cleared his throat. “I’b actually okay with sndeezing like a pandsy.”

Sam huffed. “Yeah, well, I cand’t shind lights or shove feathers up by dose whedever I deed to sndeeze.”

Dean sniffed and looked around. “Well. This was….”

Sam tossed a tissue in the garbage. “Yeah...”

The sound of a door banging shut hit their ears. “Help me unload the truck! Ten boxes of Kleenex ain’t gonna walk in this house on their own!”

They tripped over each other in their haste to get downstairs. They’d never been more glad to have Bobby home.

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

OMG OMG OMG OMG! Priceless! I'm laughing too hard at this.

[HPG]

Best story period.

[Always-a-Ginger]

LOL! Great ending! This gets to be my "something good" today. I could totally picture the ending and I needed that smile. Thank you for this.

[NorthernLady]

As soon as the crossed leg hit the floor, Sam’s nose twitched, and he automatically brought his hands to his face, inhaling deeply...

...and forgetting that a feather was in his hand.

The tip of the feather went straight into Sam’s nose, just as he breathed in.

I'm sorry.. did... did the feather that was into Dean's germy nose find it's way into Sam's? *gulp* That's.... hum.... how... inconvenient *blush*

Edited September 10, 2014 by NorthernLady

[AngelEyes]

Priceless!

[gingerdean]

This was fantastic! I loved Sam getting a kick out of torturing Dean with the feather. And the ending was hilarious! This was just so awesome in so many ways. I have to go read it again now. Thank you!!!