Anomaly (Star Trek 2009; M) - COMPLETE! 3/3 + epilogue

[Spoo]

This came out of nowhere.  

I was sitting around, minding my own business, when BAM. Random McKirk Academy Era feels.   So yes, here we are. It's looking like multiple chapters so far, but I have no idea how long it's going to be, or how frequently I'll update for that matter.  I'll try my best to finish it though, because moody Bones and persistent Jim are incredibly fun to write for.  

Once again this is set during their academy days, BEFORE any of the serious events went on in the 2009 Star Trek reboot (during those "three years" Jim said he'd need to become a Starfleet officer). Not much good stuff in the first part, seeing as it's all the usual sickfic setup, but I have some evil things in store for our grumpy doc.  ()

Also, I don't intend for this to be slash-y? Buuut if it goes down that road…oops?    

- * ~

Anomaly

Part 1

by Spoo

 

Jessica? No, that wasn't right. Jennifer? Hmm, that felt closer…ish. Jenisse? Wait, scratch that. Jenisse had been two weeks ago.

For as intelligent as he claimed to be (and ironically enough was) Jim couldn't remember his latest interest's name. Of course, they'd only just met that morning (when he should have been paying attention in his Interspecies Ethics course - 'should have been' being the key phrase). Needless to say, names weren't his strong suit when it came to curves in all the right places.

All the eager cadet knew for sure was come that night he had a hot "study date" in the library with a breathtakingly gorgeous Barkonian. In the meantime, he figured it was a good idea to head back to the dorm, take a shower, and spend the rest of the afternoon doing what he did best: Slacking.

Sure, there might have been a moderately huge exam on Plasma Physics the following day that he probably should have brushed up on (there was that whole 'should have' concept again) but the material wasn't too difficult to apply - something about theoretical analysis and experimental investigation - and he was fairly confident he'd pass with flying colors. It'd definitely be enough to get a certain someone off his back. That was for sure.

And speaking of the even-tempered, pleasant, zip-a-dee-doo-dah whistling doctor…

Jim considered himself lucky that the older man was currently in one of his med labs. Granted, five hours was waaaay too long for any lab ("For God's sake, Jim, we get breaks.") Jim knew for a fact that he'd go stark crazy in one of those labs, were he in that particular field of study. In any case, the dorm would be empty - "Bones free", as he liked to think of it - and the perfect environment for obnoxiously loud music and optional clothing.

Upon arriving in his assigned living facility, he slipped inside quickly and did his best to avoid a familiar female walking his way. As much as he just loved getting smacked in the face, he wasn't feeling up to it in that moment. He turned away and feigned interest in a holographic bulletin board until she walked by, and once the coast was clear he breezed down the hallway before he could run into any other potential problems - AKA girls he never bothered calling back after the first date.

As he approached his door and encountered the usual voice recognition system, he spoke aloud: "James Tiberius Kirk."

'Welcome, Cadet Kirk.'

The doors hissed open and granted him access to the dark dorm, which was easily remedied by a simple calling of "Lights". Instantly, the room lit itself up and allowed Jim to see where the hell he was going. He'd lost count of how many times he'd ended up tripping over his own miniature mountain of clothing (more than half of those times he'd been drunk, so that might have played a relatively big part in the whole 'tripping' aspect).

After kicking off his shoes, he began undoing the obnoxiously red uniform that always felt a little too tight around the collar. He got down to his sleeveless undershirt when he heard something across the room. Freezing, he turned his gaze and focused his attentive eyes over towards the bathroom.

The door was closed. There was someone in there. He wasn't alone.

Jim could have called it quits right then and there. So much for loud music and optional clothing. More like "keep that racket down" and "put some damn pants on". Huffing, he tossed his top onto the floor - where it joined two pairs of boxers, one sock, and four undershirts - and then proceeded to flop facedown on his bed.

He was in the process of yanking off his socks with his toes when something extremely shocking occurred to him: Bones wasn't in his medical lab. Bones was in the dorm. Bones had skipped.

"No way," he spoke to himself, pushing his body into a sitting position. "He's actually playing hooky?"

Sure enough, the door to the bathroom slid open a few seconds later and revealed something of an anomaly. A disheveled, pajama-clad anomaly, that was.

Leonard McCoy wasn't a slob, nor was he the grisly-looking man Jim had met on the shuttle craft nearly two years back. Following his official enlistment in Starfleet, Bones had quickly transitioned into a polished, tucked-in-shirt southern gentleman that had no time for sloppy shenanigans. Especially when they applied to his appearance.

So seeing Bones in sweats, a t-shirt, and with his hair not in its usual old man side-part? Jim felt like he'd stepped into some kind of alternate dimension. A super freaky one.

"Let me guess," the younger man started, unable to believe that his roommate's choice in wardrobe was deliberate. "This is some kind of reverse psychology. You're trying to teach me a lesson, right? How if I don't hit the books, or attend class, or stop 'chasin skirts' I'm not going to amount to anything?"

For a second, Jim wasn't sure if Bones had heard him. The man looked dazed and confused - like he'd taken a sucker punch to the back of the head. The confusion didn't last long though, because soon enough those expressive eyebrows drew together and were joined by an unamused frown.

"I don't have the patience for you today," he croaked, prior to clearing his throat.

The action must have hurt, because Jim noticed a distinct wince following it. The small fit of coughing that followed after only confirmed the fact that, yeah, wow, something was insanely wrong.

"Whoa. Bones, are you sick?"

"Well I'll be damned. There is some sense in that empty head of yours," Leonard answered, his tone punctuated by airy, crackly rasps.

Now Jim really felt like he'd crossed some unseen border between reality and fiction, because there was no possible way Bones was sick. It just…didn't happen. He hadn't so much as sniffled throughout the entirety of their friendship (even when Jim himself had succumbed to multiple campus-wide epidemics and spent days spraying his germs all throughout their dorm).

Torn from his thoughts, Jim watched as Bones headed back for his bed. He hadn't bothered looking over at his roommate's side of the room when he'd originally walked in, but now that he was paying attention he noticed a tissue box on the nightstand, some cough drops, and - oh hell no, was that a hypo?

"Did you even make it out to class today?" Jim asked.

He'd left early that morning - earlier than Bones, even - to meet with Pike and thus couldn't have said whether or not Bones had gone anywhere at all.

"Made it halfway through my med lab. Felt like shit. Left early and came back here," Leonard replied, shoving his legs under his covers in an attempt to get comfy. "Do me a favor and quit catchin' flies."

Jim, who was still having a hard time believing what he was hearing, obeyed and snapped his mouth shut. "Sorry, Bones. This is just really weirding me out."

"What's weird about it?" the older man grumped with a thick-sounding sniff. "It's a cold, Jim, and I'm thankin' my lucky stars I didn't come down with the Kamaraazite flu instead."

Alright, so Bones had a cold. Jim felt like that was pretty manageable: Some rest, some fluids, and he'd be back to his henpecking ways in no time. Nevertheless, he still felt inclined to ask the question that was already on its way out.

"Is there, uh. Anything I can do for you? Grab you some meds? Fluff your pillows?" Okay, the last of his sentence was a little over-the-top and intentionally teasing, but there was a tiny degree of actual seriousness to it.

"What you can do is stay the hell away from me," Leonard replied, knuckling his wrinkling nose. "Last thing I need is for you to catch this."

Jim shuddered at the thought.

For one thing, he hated being sick. For another, Bones hated when he was sick. He didn't believe in a no-win scenario, but that's exactly what it was when his immune system gave up on him (and alright, maybe he was an awful, stupidly needy patient, but that wasn't the point).

Jim glanced down at his lap, ready to agree with what Bones had suggested, when he was abruptly cut off by a loud sneeze.

"Hhr'AHSCHHhh'uh!"

He hadn't been looking in Bones' direction when it happened, but upon turning to face him again he saw the doctor reaching for at least five sheets of tissues.

"Urgh. 'Scuse me," he snuffled, once he'd blown the equivalent of the Mississippi river into the cluster of white.

"Bless you, Bones," Jim added lately, just before he leaned over the edge of his bed to collect his PADD from beneath a crumpled pair of jeans. He brought up the roster for his Interspecies Ethics course and began searching for--Jenna! Jenna was her name. Pleased with his amateur sleuthing, he started composing a message:

Sorry beautiful, but I'm gonna have to cancel our study date tonight. Something came up. I'll call you.

-JK


TBC.

 

Edited August 18, 2016 by Spoo

[sapphiremint]

*squeee* I've been yearning for a sneezy mccoy. I love how well you captured his personality. I can't wait for more.

[*Dark_Side*]

I totally second Sapphiremint's squee. Oh god, I am so excited to see where this goes. Bones is one of my favorite characters and there aren't nearly enough stories about him.

[ID2006]

Squeees with everyone else.

[beatlelover22]

ACK this is amazing! You write the characters so well and I love Bones I cannot WAIT to read the next part. You're an excellent writer

[cally]

This is so, so good. I can totally see this being an outtake from the movie.

[Spoo]

*squeee* I've been yearning for a sneezy mccoy. I love how well you captured his personality. I can't wait for more.

Thank you! I love writing for Bones more than I love writing for anyone else when it comes to Star Trek~ He's a grumpy ol' teddy bear.

I totally second Sapphiremint's squee. Oh god, I am so excited to see where this goes. Bones is one of my favorite characters and there aren't nearly enough stories about him.

There aren't enough stories about him! I wholeheartedly agree. I'm glad you're excited, because it's just going to get more crazy.

Squeees with everyone else.

ACK this is amazing! You write the characters so well and I love Bones I cannot WAIT to read the next part. You're an excellent writer

Thanks so much! I think it's pretty clear that Bones is an A+ character. The next part should be up soon!

This is so, so good. I can totally see this being an outtake from the movie.

Awww, thank you! I aim for accuracy, so that's good to know~

[AngelEyes]

I have a confession. I have never seen Star Trek. Any Star Trek. I do intend to see the movie Star Trek, only because I've been told I must before I see Into Darkness which I want to see Just for Benedict. So I know nothing, and have not generally been interested in the fandom. But I saw your name, and had to read it. I love your writing. You do not disappoint! I'm intrigued!

[Spoo]

A huge part of me is having a hard time believing that I'm actually updating this fic, bUT HERE I AM, UPDATING FORREAL, AFTER LIKE...a freakin' year and a half. Goodness gracious. In all fairness, thoug, I diiid say: 'I have no idea how long it's going to be, or how frequently I'll update for that matter' in the first part.

But yes, my need for sick, grumpy, academy!era Bones and caring!Jim has returned at full-force. Hopefully it won't be so ridiculously long before I post another part. Hurrhurr.

~ * ~

Anomaly

Part 2

by Spoo

 

 

 

So, not only was Jim Kirk the smartest, coolest, and inarguably hottest Starfleet cadet, he also happened to be a pretty boss caretaker as well. In addition to tucking Bones into bed (there maaaay have been a minor hissy fit on Bones’ end about that, but the guy was sick and extra cranky, so who could blame him for retaliating?) Jim was also on his way across campus to pick up some soup.

Because that was exactly what boss caretakers did. They got soup for their helpless, ill friends.

He would have more than likely reached his destination in a timely manner, too, had he not been distracted by the fern-colored hand that reached for his arm mid-stride: “Someone’s in a hurry.”

Jim turned around and found himself looking at one of the most gorgeous ladies this side of the Milky Way. “I’ve always got some time for a pretty face,” he replied, smirking.

He didn’t know what it was about these lady Orions - probably everything, actually - but they were intergalactic bombshells. Between thick thighs, tiny waists, and full lips that whispered such dirty little secrets in his ear…yeah, it was safe to say that these green queens were stunning.

“So…when are you taking me out for that drink you promised?” Gaila asked, all batting eyelashes and coy smiles.

In truth, Jim had been working his charm on Gaila for a while now. It just so happened that she had full access to the computer labs, and that sort of connection could be awfully handy when it came to, saaaay, a certain no-win simulation?

“I’ve got time this weekend."

Gaila pouted, which shouldn’t have looked nearly as seductive as it did. “No time tonight?”

“Well…” Jim considered, bewitched by those highly potent pheromones. “I guess I could make some time for—ahh, no. Actually, I really can’t tonight, Gaila. Bones came down with something, and I’m staying in with him tonight. You know, to make sure he doesn’t keel over since he never gets sick.”

“Attractive and considerate,” Gaila noted, impressed, as she crooked a slender finger beneath Jim’s chin. “This weekend it is. Don’t forget.”

“I’ll try my best not to, but a little reminder couldn’t hurt…?” Jim prompted, leaning in towards the Orion.

Without hesitation, Gaila went to issue her ‘little reminder’ when the introduction of a third presence prevented her from carrying out the flirtatious act.

"Gaila, no. You don’t know where he’s been.”

Jim didn’t bother holding back the urge to roll his eyes as ‘Ms. No-Fun’ herself decided to join them. Seriously, could Uhura’s timing have been any worse? It’s like she had a built-in sensor that went off whenever the opportunity to ruin a moment arose.

“Have you ever heard of the phrase oh, I don’t know, ‘three’s a crowd’?” he asked, unamused.

“I’m surprised you’re even familiar with Earth idioms, considering you barely show up for Xenolinguistics,” Uhura quipped in return.

Jim set a hand over his chest dramatically. “You notice when I’m not in class? Awww, I feel so special.”

“Oh, you’re very special, Kirk,” Uhura remarked, prior to turning to Gaila. “Sorry I took so long.”

As the two started to chat about one thing or another, Jim decided to take his leave; it was obvious that he and Gaila wouldn’t be able to pick up where they’d left off, and he was on a mission to get Bones some soup, after all.

"I’ll see you later, Gaila,” he said, taking a step back. “And Uhura. Gonna tell me that first name, or…?”

“Or…you’re leaving now,” Uhura finished, to which Jim shook his head and continued on his way.

“I don’t know why you give him such a hard time,” Gaila commented, as she and Uhura started to head back to their shared dorm. “He’s a great guy. Super fun and caring…”

“The only thing he cares about is himself,” Uhura remarked, scoffing. “Now, can we please talk about something else?”

“Fineeee,” Gaila acquiesced, dropping the topic. “We can talk about…ooh. Your private lessons with Commander Spock. That’s why you were late meeting me, right?”

Uhura laughed, though it wasn’t because she thought her roommate’s statement amusing. If anything, it was because she found it, and the shameless implication behind it, so utterly absurd it was funny.

“You do know that my lessons with him are strictly academic and professional, right?”

“Oh yeah, super ‘academic and professional’,” Gaila begged to differ, nudging Uhura’s shoulder with her own suggestively. “You know what they say about Vulcan ears, right?”

"Gaila…”

“They’re ridiculously sensitive. All you need to do is—”

“This conversation is over.”

 

- - -

 

“Bones-y, I’m hoooome!” Jim announced, entering their dorm about an hour or so after he’d originally departed. Who knew that going out to get some soup would take so long? It’s like every interruption in the world had been out to get him while on his quest. Sheesh.

As he slipped off his boots and toted the container of hot carryout soup across the room, he noticed that Bones wasn’t in bed where he’d left him. Nope, he was back in the bathroom judging by the sound of running water. Curiously, Jim peeked in and was rewarded the odd sight of his roommate standing with his head in the steamy shower cubicle.

“Uh…Bones?” Jim’s voice barely made it over the sound of pelting droplets, so he tried again, louder, “Bones!”

“Jesus!”

Oh yeah. That sure seemed to do the trick.

Reeling his head out of the shower, Leonard turned a displeased glare in Jim’s direction. “What’ve I told you about sneaking up on me like that? You’re gonna give me a heart attack one’a these days.”

“First of all, you were the one with your head in the shower. Second, I tried calling you at a reasonable volume, but it’s clear you didn’t hear me,” Jim explained, defending himself. “Anyway. Looky what I brought you.” He wiggled the carryout bag with a smile. “It’s not your nana’s recipe or anything, but I’m willing to bet it tastes……aaaand bless y—”

“Hhuh’AKSCHHhh’uh!”

Jim had seen the deterioration of Bones’ scowl - how his brows bent the other way, his eyelids fluttered shut, and his lips drew apart in an almost-snarl. Yup. Typical pre-sneeze signs.

Leonard, who was now bowed into the bend of his elbow, reached for some tissues from the box that sat on the counter; he turned away for a second to blow his nose—well, try to blow his nose. It wasn’t very relieving or productive.

Jim stopped the shower with a vocal command and then waited until Bones surfaced from the white cluster to talk to him again. “You alright?”

“I can’t breathe,” the older man gruffed, red-nosed and wet-eyed. “I’m so damn congested it feels like my skull’s about to explode. Thought some steam might help, but it hasn’t done much of anything.”

“I’m not a doctor, Bones, but have you tried, you know, taking a decongestant?” Jim asked, following his sick companion out of the bathroom and back to his bed. “Those usually do the trick.”

“Not on me they don’t,” Leonard replied, snuffling thickly. “Never have.”

Jim winced at the thought.

Being a victim of horrendous seasonal and all-around allergies, as well as flus and the odd temperature change, he was no stranger to a clogged, stubborn nose. Then again, he’d usually end up drugging himself up to his red and watery eyeballs with antihistamines and other medical soothers, which made his torment - for the most part - less miserable.

And here was poor Bones, forever doomed to endure the equivalent of cement in his nostrils whenever he had a cold.

“You gonna stand there and look all pathetic-like for the rest of the night?”

The blunt words snapped Jim out of his thoughts, prompting him to look at Bones, who had gotten settled back beneath his covers. Shaking his head, Jim handed over the soup he’d brought. Then, after he was given a mumbled “thanks”, he reached out to scoop his hand beneath Bones’ brown bangs.

The skin was hot there—well, hotter than he thought it would be, anyway—and his suspicions were confirmed when Bones openly admitted, albeit through a defeated sigh, “Yes, Jim, I have a temperature.”

Wow, okay. Why was that strangely unsettling? Like, stepping on something sharp, but not sharp enough to pierce the skin, or touching something hot, but not hot enough to burn? It just…didn’t feel right.

“You really are sick,” Jim acknowledged, more to himself than Bones, as his hand uselessly fell away.

Leonard wasn’t keen on whatever pity he was seeing in Jim’s stupidly emotional eyes, but before he could throw out crabby reassurances or tell the cadet to quit acting like his puppy died, he was suddenly overtaken by one hell of a tickle. Lucky for him, he was able to set down his soup before he could spill it all over creation.

“Huhh’ASCHHHhh’uh!” He’d turned away from Jim - Jim, who was closer than he damn well should have been - and then steepled his hands over his nose and mouth to catch a rare, yet no less explosive, second sneeze. “AHTSCHHHhh’ue!”

Without being asked, Jim went back into the bathroom to retrieve the box Bones had snagged his tissues from. Judging by the sound of those aggressive sneezes, he figured his buddy needed them. Pronto.

“This is probably the most I’ve ever heard you sneeze in one sitting,” he said, and then tacked on, “Bless you, by the way.”

“Believe me, I’m not doing it on purpose. And thanks,” Leonard grumbled, taking the tissue box and immediately utilizing it.

He looked more weathered and worn after the outburst - if such a thing were possible with how downright under the weather he already appeared - and it seemed like even trying to blow his nose drained him of strength and stamina. Combine that with the fact that he’d been suffering like this all day, alone, while Jim had been none the wiser, and it really tugged at the younger man's heartstrings. Bones was a complainer, sure, but not so much when it came to being sick.

And seriously, when was the last time he was taken care of by someone that wasn’t himself? Someone who actually gave a damn about him? Jim didn’t know the answer to those questions, but he knew one thing for sure.

He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

 

TBC.

Edited August 18, 2016 by Spoo

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

Spoo...you're killing me...in the best way possible. I dont even know where to begin...

First of all

sick, grumpy, academy!era Bones

Yes yes 1000 times yes.

If I could quote the entire thing I would, your characterization is spot on espc McCoy (who I have it bad for...). I do hope you'll continue this

[ID2006]

I recently watched the last Star Trek movies again and reread all stories on this board, so to see a new addition took my breath away.

[frolicking periwinkle]

I've never seen a Mckirk that I enjoyed. .. Until this one. More please

[sapphiremint]

aaaand bless y—”

...yes

“This is probably the most I’ve ever heard you sneeze in one sitting,” he said, and then tacked on, “Bless you, by the way.”

both these parts kill me. but EEEP you updated. mckiRK i love it. academy era YES.

[AngelEyes]

So I totally missed this update till now! Yay for more sick!Bones! You write him and Kirk so perfectly. I love Kirk getting all waylaid fetching soup. Total ADD. And Bone's demeanor through the whole piece is awesome. Makes me want to cuddle him. LOL

[Spoo]

Sooooo...funny story. I wanted to write Bones with a bad cold and realized I still had this unfinished fic lying around.  I mean, at least it hasn’t been over a year since my last update? Also, I originally said in the first part that I didn’t intend for things to get slash-y, but uh…whoops.  

This will be the last part, but there's a [VERY predictable] epilogue to eventually follow. Enjoy, my lovelies!  

~ * ~

Anomaly

Part 3

by Spoo

 

Jim didn’t remember going to bed, but he was suddenly thrust back into full awareness when the sound of coughing met his ears. It was dark around him - too dark to really see anything - but he didn’t need a light, artificial or otherwise, to know what direction the harsh fit was coming from. 

He had been awake when Bones had taken some medicine and passed out a few hours prior, which, at the very least, gave him peace of mind that his buddy was resting up. Said peace of mind began to fray at the edges, however, when the coughing continued and didn’t show any signs of letting up. And wasn’t that the worst, Jim thought, pulling himself out of bed. Trying to sleep when your lungs weren’t having it. 

Now that his eyes had adjusted to the darkness - enough to navigate the room without tripping and eating the ground, anyway - he advanced towards Bones’ bed and found him exactly how Jim had anticipated: Huddled up, shivering all over, and continuing to cough in his sleep. 

It was still incredibly awkward to witness such a thing, because Bones never got sick. He was the solid constant in Jim’s life that, yeah, drove him crazy every now and again with those wacky southern idioms and an endless supply of grumpy complaints, but at the same time he’d needed Bones more than he cared to admit. Life before Starfleet had never been the perfect picture of functionality, and Leonard McCoy’s friendship had kept Jim grounded and on track.

That was why Jim perched on the edge of Bones’ mattress and settled a hand on his back, rubbing away whatever was trying to clog Bones’ airways. Realistically, Jim knew that wasn’t how things worked, and that his rubs soothed more than it healed, but it didn’t stop him. Not one bit. 

“Easy there, Bones,” he said, his tone soft and encouraging. 

Whether it was the physical contact or speaking that did it, Leonard’s eyes blinked open in time with a sharp, raspy inhale. Whatever fever dreams had held him prisoner must have not subsided straight away, because before either of them could brace for it, he was shooting into an upright position and gripping Jim’s wrist hard enough to fracture his radius.  

Startled and pained as he was, Jim remained stationary while the older man escaped whatever nightmarish delusions were feasting on his brain. And from the looks of it, they were pretty fucking horrific.  

Slowly, Leonard’s death grip relinquished as it occurred to him just what he was doing, and who he was doing it to. He flopped back against his pillows, his chest whistling and heaving something fierce, while pressing the back of his wrist between his eyes; a bead of sweat pooled in the dip of his temple and raced down his jaw. Granted, his recovery lasted all of five seconds before his hand relocated to his mouth, where he caught another onslaught of vicious coughing. 

This time, Jim chose another course of action: He commanded the lights at thirty percent, reached for the glass of water he’d filled earlier when Bones had still been awake, and helped his friend back into an upright position, so that he could drink without having the liquid go down the wrong pipe. Bones didn’t need to cough anymore than he already had in the last fifteen minutes. That was for sure.

Jim eventually swapped the empty glass for a box of tissues and reassessed the situation once it looked like Bones wasn’t dying anymore. “You okay?”

Leonard, who was trying to swallow past the feel of needles in his throat and bronchial tubes, attempted to speak; his words were airy and highly indicative of the virus that was waging war on his body. “Do I sound okay?”

Worried as he might have been, Jim couldn’t help but smirk at that. For as sick as he was Bones was still throwing out snarky little quips. That was a good sign. “You sound horrible, but I just wanted to make sure.” 

Leonard made use of the tissues he’d been handed and snuffled into one stuffily. Of course, that only triggered one hell of a tickle that had him practically crushing the tissue over his nose and mouth. “HHRR’RFFFGSHHH!”

Rather than the loud, barking sneeze that typically came barreling out of Bones like gunfire, Jim was surprised to hear the softer, albeit damper expulsion. It probably had to do with the poor guy losing his voice. “Bless you.” 

Leonard opened his eyes, which were glazed, watery, and unfocused, though they quickly slammed shut again as another sneeze tore its way out of him. “HUH’AGSCHHHISH!”

Alright, that one was a little more like it. Still pretty wet, though. “This cold is seriously kicking your ass, isn’t it?” 

A noisy nose-blow was Leonard’s initial response, followed by a congested mutter: “One’da these days you’ll stop askig obvious questiods…” 

“But until that day comes,” Jim started, shrugging his shoulders. “You’re stuck with them. And me. Mostly me.”

Leonard shook his head and blew his nose again. It didn’t clear him up entirely, but he could pronounce his alphabet a tad better this time around. “You ought’a get back to sleep. You might’ve forgotten that you have an exam tomorrow, but I didn’t.”

“You and I both know that I’ll pass that exam without even trying,” Jim pointed out. If Bones was allowed to berate him, then he was allowed to be smug about his academic accomplishments. “And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m more concerned about you at the moment.” 

Leonard scoffed at that, but beneath all of his prickly layers he felt oddly…touched? Damn fever must have been screwing with him more than he thought. As if in agreement, he gave into an involuntary shiver that had his free had subconsciously pulling his blankets closer. 

Jim instantly noticed the tremor and, before Bones could shoo him away, redirected himself on the bed. Well actually, it was more along the lines of ‘inviting himself’ if getting under the covers said anything about it.

Naturally, it didn’t happen without a protest: “What the hell're you doing? You can’t—Jim, I’m not letting you sleep with me.”

“Why not?” Jim asked, getting cozy. “There’s plenty of room. Believe me, I’ve shared lots of these beds befor—“

"For Christ's sake, that’s not what I mean,” Leonard argued. “I already told you. I don’t want you catching this from me. It’s bad enough that I’ve been sneezing up a storm with you around. Lord knows you’ve already got it” 

Jim, who had settled in happily, shrugged a shoulder. “If I get sick, I get sick. I’ll have no one to blame but myself.” 

“You say that now, but I’ll be the one listening to your bellyaching when you can’t breathe through your nose,” Leonard sighed. Unfortunately, the simple gesture rekindled the urge to cough and had him turning away. 

Jim reached up and gave Bones’ back another steadying rub. “See? You’re getting yourself all worked up. Just relax and lay down with me.” 

Leonard was immensely grateful that his coughing didn’t last long, though such appreciation was drowned out by the grumbles he emitted as he lowered himself down, his back facing Jim. “There's something seriously wrong with two grown men sharin’ a bed…”

“Yeah, there is,” Jim agreed, though not for the same reason Bones had. “It’s seriously wrong that you had to be sick for it to happen. Lights.” 

Around them, the dim lighting faded away into the blackness it had been before the two of them had woken up. Even though Bones was facing the other way, it didn’t stop Jim from molding against the older man’s back big-spoon-style. He loosely circled an arm around Bones’ waist, and when it wasn’t immediately thrown off he tightened his hold slightly, protectively. 

Heat soaked into Jim’s bare chest through Bones’ t-shirt, just like the shivering Bones couldn't seem to stop. Jim didn’t even realize he’d pressed a slow, lingering kiss against Bones’ shoulder blade until he felt the doctor go rigid in his arms. Shit, was that too much? 

“Sorry,” he apologized, before Bones could get on his case. “I’m not trying to make this weird or anything.” 

“Nnhh…no, it’s n—”

Jim felt the upward swell of Bones’ ribcage, just as he heard the crackles of congestion as he sucked in a big breath. Then his not-quite-bedmate was caving into himself with yet another brutal sneeze. 

“HUHH’ATSCHHHGSH!”

Maybe it was a good thing that Bones was turned the other way after all, because Jim didn’t even want to think what would have happened had they been face-to-face during that spraying monster. Yikes. 

Nonetheless, he resumed his spooning duties the moment Bones unfolded back into a horizontal position. “Bless you,” he offered. 

There was an unattractive chorus of gurgling sniffles, and a small groan of sheer misery that had Jim inching even closer, but Leonard eventually replied in a raw voice that was just about gone: “Thanks.” 

It was enough encouragement and validation to keep Jim right where he was, snuggled up to Bones, until the both of them drifted off less than ten minutes later. 

 

END. 

[AngelEyes]

Awww. Cuddles!

[lillian]

I love it!

[Coffee Chicken Barista]

AAAAWWWWW!!!!! This is so cute! I got so excited when I saw that you had updated this story! It was one of my favorites!

[sapphiremint]

SPOOO!! This is honestly so amazing, you know I can't resist anything sick!Bones related.  I LOVE the ending so much and Kirk/McCoy cuddles are always appreciated <3

[Red]

Great fic! I´d love to read more  It´s soooo cute!

[ID2006]

Yay. I've been wanting some slashy caretaking. 

[Spoo]

On 8/1/2016 at 11:06 PM, AngelEyes said:

Awww. Cuddles!

Everything is ten times better with cuddles!   

On 8/1/2016 at 11:22 PM, lillian said:

I love it!

Thank youuu.  

On 8/2/2016 at 0:49 AM, Coffee Chicken Barista said:

AAAAWWWWW!!!!! This is so cute! I got so excited when I saw that you had updated this story! It was one of my favorites!

I wish I could update regularly like a normal person, but I've never been very good at it.  Thanks for sticking around! I hope it was worth the wait~

On 8/2/2016 at 5:42 AM, sapphiremint said:

SPOOO!! This is honestly so amazing, you know I can't resist anything sick!Bones related.  I LOVE the ending so much and Kirk/McCoy cuddles are always appreciated <3

You are seriously the first person I think of whenever I'm writing sick/sneezy!Bones.  I'm so glad that you liked it! 

On 8/3/2016 at 0:38 PM, Red said:

Great fic! I´d love to read more  It´s soooo cute!

There's going to be an epilogue (eventually), but it'll focus on Jim more than Bones. He should have listened and not gotten so close.

On 8/3/2016 at 1:23 PM, ickydog2006 said:

Yay. I've been wanting some slashy caretaking. 

Meeeee too, man. There's never enough! 

[Spoo]

And here, my dearest darlings, we have the final part. I honestly didn’t think I was going to finish this fic at all, so I’m proud of myself for doing just that.  Thanks again to everyone who read and commented (and waited actual years for updates ). You'll probably see more Star Trek trash goodness from me at some point~ 

For now, here's the predictable epilogue that everyone totally saw coming.   

~ * ~

Anomaly

Epilogue

by Spoo

 

“Huh’ITSCHHhuh!…IH’DZSCHHHhh!…hh!…hhih—oh, c-comhhme on…hih!…IKSCHHHhhish!”

The unruly and uncovered trio of violent sneezes nearly sent Jim’s forehead colliding straight into his kneecaps. He sniffled thickly as he straightened back out along his bed, his hand blindly swatting for the tissue box that was buried somewhere under his twisted knot of bedsheets. 

The good news? He found it. The bad news? There was nothing left in the box. 

The sick cadet had depleted the entire supply within hours, it felt like, and now all that remained of the soft sheets was a graveyard of crumpled balls; they surrounded him like white burial flowers, which seemed pretty fitting since, you know, he was dying.

There were more tissues in the bathroom, but that required actual movement. And even though Jim was more than physically capable of making the short journey across the room, his heavy legs, pounding head, and insane sinus pressure kept him riiiiight where he was. 

Right. Okay. No more sneezing. If he didn’t sneeze, he wouldn’t need any tissues, and if he didn’t need any tissues, he wouldn’t have to haul his congested, miserable self out of bed. The plan was foolproof. All he needed to do was make sure that he stuck to it and didn’t— 

“Huh’ISCHHHhh’oo!”

…Welp, so much for that. 

Snuffling, Jim pressed the back of his wrist up to his nose to stem the wetness that was trying to escape the twitching openings of his chapped nostrils. He couldn’t hold out like this forever, he knew. Sooner or later he was going to have to bite the bullet and seek out much-needed supplies. 

Or, he thought in relief, hearing the sweetsweet sound of the door hissing open. He would ask someone else to seek out supplies for him. Thank goodness for small miracles (and roommates that returned from prolonged campus-wide excursions). 

Lowering his hand away from his nose, Jim propped himself up slightly to look at his newly arrived savior. “I didn’t think you were coming back.” 

“Oh, quit being dramatic,” Bones quipped, setting down a carryout bag of what Jim presumed was soup. “I was gone less than twenty minutes.”

For the most part, Bones was back up to speed. His fever was gone, his stuffiness had dispersed, and while he hadn’t yet shaken off his rattling cough, he wasn’t hacking up a lung in the middle of the night anymore. Jim doubted he’d witness Bones sick again. At least not for a long, long, long time. 

“I saw your girlfriend on the way back,” Leonard stated, making his way over to the sickbed. 

“Which one?” Jim joked, trying to be funny when he felt anything but humorous at the moment. 

Bones rolled his eyes as he collected a scanner from the bedside table and held it over Jim’s forehead to gauge the man’s fever. “The green one. Says you were supposed to take her out this weekend. Sounded real sore about it, too.” 

“If you see her again, can you tell her that I—” 

“I’m a doctor, not a messenger,” Leonard firmly interrupted. 

“Ehh, it’s alright. She’ll get over it,” Jim shrugged, though he quickly abandoned his heartbreaker’s nonchalance when his entire body tensed up. He barely managed to elbow Bones away as he twisted off to the side and sneezed twice in rapid succession: “HH’ITSCHHhhih!—ZSCHHHhhish!” 

Jim didn’t open his eyes right away, but when he did it was to the glorious sight of a tissue box being shoved in his direction. A new, full tissue box that Bones must have retrieved while he’d been recovering from the twin outbursts.  

“Should I say ‘I told you so’ now, or should I wait until your nose isn’t dripping all over the place?” 

“Bost people say ‘bless you’, actually,” Jim said, smothering his nose into a clean handful of tissues. “We really deed to work od your bedside banner.” 

While the smartass cleared out his nasal passages, Leonard decided to tidy up a little. He couldn’t get Jim to pick up after himself on a good day, nevermind when Jim had a cold (and his cold, at that). 

“Say what you want, though,” the significantly less stuffy words came after a minute. “I don’t regret a thing.” 

Not if it meant taking care of Bones when he’d needed it, or making sure that he got plenty of rest in the days that followed the night they’d shared a bed. Jim still recalled everything so vividly, from the smell of Bones’ shampoo in his hair, to the feel of their legs tangled together the next morning. The event was undoubtedly intimate, but neither of them had really mentioned anything about it, sooo…yeah.

“‘Course you don’t regret it,” Leonard sighed after a beat, sitting down on the end of Jim’s mattress. “You got exactly what you wanted. I’m better, and you’re sick.” 

“Jeez. It doesn’t sound as noble when you put it that way,” Jim protested, giving Bones’ thigh a prod with his cold toes. “I like to think of it as taking one for the team.” 

The older man shook his head and covered Jim’s feet and legs with the blanket, which he’d saved from slipping off the bed. “You need anything?”

“Nah, I think I’m…” Jim’s sentence faded out as he took in a slow, shivering breath. His blond lashes fluttered shut, and his hand shot up to cover his nose and mouth quickly. “Hihh’ITSCHHhh’uih!…uhggh. I think I’m good.”

“Like hell you’re good,” Leonard muttered, wishing he didn’t feel so damn guilty about spreading his germs. He nudged the tissue box back at Jim and added: “Gesundheit.” 

A smile captured the fullness of Jim’s lips. “Now we’re getting somewhere with that bedside manner.” 

“Says you,” Leonard grumped, prior to getting to his feet. “Hurry up and feel better so you can get back to canceling your hot dates in person.” 

Jim watched his caretaker return to where he’d left the carryout bag, and as Bones began setting everything out for him—spoon, bowl, and napkin—he couldn’t help but echo his previous sentiment on the whole ordeal. 

He didn’t regret a thing.

[IveGotRedHair]

Thank you for this!! I do love Bones ?

[AngelEyes]

Awwww!!!!