Sniffles and Sensitivity - House MD (Wilson, House)

[sapphiremint]

I just can't stay away from House fics. There's just never enough sick Wilson.

Title: Sniffles and Sensitivity

Author: Me

Fandom: House

Characters: Wilson, House, Cuddy, & ducklings

Disclaimer: I don't own (God knows what would happen if I did) or make $ from the characters

Summary: Wilson’s sick again (he just can’t get a break especially if I’m involved) and House is House

A/N: Takes place at the beginning of S6 when House is living with Wilson. No slash but some innuendos just because. I ship them as like the best friends ever. A few episode references per the usual.

A loud rapping sound startled Wilson, causing him to look up from his desk.

“Lunch, Jimmy boy. Did you forget our daily lunch date?”

“Sorry I was trying to finish up paperwork. RESPONSIBLE doctors actual complete it.”

House gasped, “Are you accusing me of being irresponsible? How could you do such a thing?”

As they walked to the cafeteria, Wilson said, “I had to tell a woman she’s dying with pancreatic cancer.”

House was quiet for a moment. “Did she thank you?”

“Don’t be insensitive.”

“Words hurt you know.” House looked at Wilson with an exaggerated mock-hurt expression.

House grabbed a Reuben, tossing it on Wilson’s tray.

The cashier asked, “Together?”

Wilson sighed and pulled out his wallet. House picked out a table, plopping down into the seat. Wilson began to follow suit when suddenly his nose tickled furiously. He turned his head away, as he was still holding the tray, sneezing harshly.

“HAHH’TSSSHOO!”

“Don’t lose my lunch Jimmy. I can’t work off an empty stomach, oh and bless.”

Wilson sat down, handing House his sandwich.

“Boxing match tonight, Wilson. Prepared to lose $50 tonight?”

“Don’t be so confident--” Wilson was suddenly interrupted by a familiar tickling sensation and tried to rub his nose to stop it. “Hah’nggxt. Hggtx’choo.”

House looked at Wilson curiously. “What’s up with that?”

“With what?”

“You sneezed. Neither of us have pepper in our food. It's not allergy season, your eyes aren’t irritated and itchy. The lights aren’t extremely bright, so it’s not a photic sneeze reflex. Which leaves symptom, brain issue, maybe a neurological problem?

“Nnnggg Noth—inggg.” Wilson quickly grabbed a napkin. “Eitchioo. Hehhetshh. It’s my body’s way of telling me that I need a break from you, I have clinic duty.”

---

Wilson walked into Exam Room 1.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Wilson, what seems to be the problem?” His nose had begun tickling profusely again. He rubbed his temples. A headache was the last thing he needed.

“Well—” The patient began. Wilson held up his hand, turning his head away from the patient. “Haaaa-isssshew!! Hitschoo! HetCHOO! Excuse me. Continue please.”

“I have a hard time walking, when I step, my ankle hurts. It feels like it’s on fire.”

Wilson peered at the ankle; it was swollen. He squeezed it gingerly. “ Does that hurt? Hold on—

Heiii-‘shoo! Hept’tshhh!” The patient nodded. Wilson scrubbed his nose furiously, trying to prevent another outburst.

“Well it’s not broken, you’ve simply sprained your ankle. I’ll write you a pers— HAHHISTCHEW!! HEIII-‘SHOO! HEPT’KSHOO! EITCHIOO! HEPT’TSHHH! Excuse be, I’ll write you a perscribtion for the paind and you should try to keebp off that fodt. Ice and keebp id elevaded. You could also wrab id up if you ligke.”

“Thanks doc. Er, I hope you feel better.”

After the patient hobbled out of the room, giving Wilson a sympathetic look as he left. Wilson sighed; he hoped he wasn’t getting sick. He did not enjoy being sick, especially because he would have to put up with House while he was under the weather. House was not particularly known for being the most caring person. He grabbed a tissue, feeling a sneeze coming on.

“Heiissshhoooo…heeh...tttiisshhooo!! Hitschoo! Hept’tshhhh. Hm’ngxt’uh!”

Wilson exited the room, walking towards the lobby to meet with another patient when Dr. Cuddy blocked him.

“Have you seen House? I have a case he might be interested in.”

Wilson rubbed his nose, trying to focus on Cuddy’s question rather than his nose.

“Er, we had lunch together. I aaaa…ahhsssuumee he’s in hhhhhggg his office.” Realizing that he couldn’t prevent the inevitable, he quickly turned his head sneezing into his elbow, wetly and harshly.

“HHAHHTSSHHOO! KTSCHHOO! HM’NGXT’UH!”

“Wilson,” Cuddy said looking at him sternly, “Go home. Go rest.”

Wilson looked at her confused; seeing his perplexed expression she said, “I could hear you sneezing all the way from my office.”

Her face softened, “I need you at your best. Feel better.”

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

YAYYYYY! More sick!Wilson goodies from you! And set during one of my favorite periods, too! I really hope you continue this.

[MoonDuck]

You're correct. There can never be too much Wilson. Is there going to be more?

[cally]

All the Wilson! Horray!

[beatlelover22]

Annnnnnd this is adorable! Thanks for writing, sick Wilson is my favourite ughhh!

[Seniorstatus14]

Aww yay!! I love how bossy and concerned Cuddy is over her staff members!

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Yes! I love sneezy Wilson.

Please continue!

[sapphiremint]

And here's the next part, hope you guys like it.

Part 2

“HEH-TCHEW! EHTSHHHOO! KETISCHOO! HHAHHTSSHHOO!”

Wilson sneezed harshly into the tissues. His head throbbed and he knew he was running a fever but he didn’t feel like getting up from the couch. Wilson sighed, right after they had finished furnishing the room, he had gotten sick. He hadn’t been able to enjoy it. His ears pricked up as he heard the front door being unlocked. House’s head appeared in the living room soon after.

“House?”

“No, it’s your other crippled diagnostician roommate. I heard Cuddy sent you home.” Giving his friend the entire body glance, he said. “You look like utter crap.”

“I always loogk ligke I’b in tib tob shabe when I’b sick.” Wilson responded sarcastically.

“I guess I’m going to need a different wingman tonight. I’ll need the pretty boy.”

Wilson rolled his eyes. “You’ll probably need anoder one toborrow nighdt too.” He squinted, feeling the tickle in his nose come back.

“HHAHHTSSHHOO! KTSCHHOO! HM’NGXT’UH! Ugh…”

“That bad huh?” House limped over to Wilson, reaching out to touch his forehead. “You’re burning up. Did you check your temperature?”

Wilson shook his head, turning his head away from House as his breath hitched.

“Heh.. hih..Haaaa-isssshew!! Hitschoo! HetCHOO!”

“Bless.” I’m getting the thermometer. Hopefully we have the oral or we’ll have to use the OTHER one.” House said with a smirk on his face.

Wilson groaned. “Good news, we have the oral one. Here,” House handed it to Wilson who immediately stuck it under his tongue.

“House, I hhh-haaaa-have to— ” House tossed him the box of tissues. “Bless.”

“HEhHHchsh!”

The thermometer beeped, House snatched it out of Wilson’s mouth, reading it. “102.8, Geez you really know how to get sick. Here take some Tylenol.”

House plopped flipped on the TV to the boxing match.

“OOH!” He winced as one of the boxers was hit squarely in the jaw.

The sound of the game was deafening, causing Wilson’s head to pound even harder. He got up from the couch slowly and began staggering to his bedroom.

House looked up, his gaze following Wilson, “Good lord, you must have had a lot to drink tonight.”

“I’b going to bed. Led be know who widns.”

---

Wilson blinked blearily. He looked at the clock beside his bed; House wouldn’t be up for at least another hour. He groaned as he sat up, a wave of dizziness coming over him. He was definitely not better. He sniffed experimentally, too congested, no improvement there either. His nose was tickling profusely again, grabbing a tissue; he pitched forward, “HEhhrushh! Hehhetshh! Hept’tshhhh!”

Sniffling, he grabbed another tissue. He hoped he hadn’t awakened House; he waved that thought away, House slept like a hibernating bear.

He dressed as quietly as possible and managed to slip out the door.

As he entered Princeton-Plainsboro, he felt another wave of sneezes coming on. Searching for a tissue, but coming up empty he turned his head into his elbow, “Hehhetsh! Hahhktsschhoo!”

He just needed to slip into his office, making sure Cuddy didn’t see him

.

Somehow he managed it, although almost getting caught by Cameron. His nose had been itching to betray him, and when he finally closed the door to his office, it pretty much exploded out of him.

“HEHHETSH! HEIII-‘SHOO! HEPT’TSHHH! HITSCHOO! HUHETCHOO! HAHHKTSSCHHOO! HETCHOO!” Grabbing the tissue box, he blew his nose. At least no one was around to him in this pathetic, disheveled state.

He sat down at his desk, reaching for the pile of files. It took him twice as long as usually to fill out the charts between the fits of sneezing and coughing.

Wilson rubbed his sore throat tenderly, feeling the dangerously swollen glands under his jaw. Tea would be perfect; however, he would have to risk running into House or Cuddy. Looking at his watch, he figured that House was probably in his office watching General Hospital or Prescription Passion. Sneaking out of his office, Wilson nipped down to the cafeteria. Walking back, he was surprised but relieved that he had made it back to his office unscathed. However, when Wilson opened the door to his office, he noticed a tall, grizzled man sitting at his desk. He peered behind the door to see the rest of House’s team, Cameron looking especially concerned.

Looking at his door he remarked, “That’s funny it says James Wilson. What a strange typo.”

“You left without saying goodbye,” House whimpered, “How insensitive.”

“Save id House.”

“You know, we do live in the same apartment.” House said, getting up from the chair. “It would be kind of hard for me not to notice that you had left. You’re supposed to be at home. You can’t go waltzing back into the hospital with an almost 103 degrees fever.”

“103^o?” Cameron asked.

Wilson waved his hand dismissively, “House is exaggerading. Besides, I toogk a bunch of medicine before I cabe here.” His nose began to tickle ferociously. Wilson began rubbing it as discreetly as possible, before snatching a tissue from his desk. He pitched forward, Chase seized Wilson’s cup before it spilled over.

“Hah’nggxt! Hggtx’choo! Hm’ngxt’uh!

”

“Bless you!” Three voices chimed.

“That’s bad for you, you know.” House said irritably. Wilson blushed; it was embarrassing enough to sneeze in front of somebody, but in front of four people that he worked closely alongside?

“Differential diagnosis. No wait, we already know he has the flu. Treatment. No wait, that’s obvious too. How do we get him to go home?”

“I’b fide House, really. I’b nod meeding ady patients today.”

House ignored him.

“We can do it the easy way, or the hard way. I’m actually giving you a choice here.”

[Seniorstatus14]

Hehehehe!!!! This story is so good! I love the way you write House!

[ERWcst]

Oh how much I miss new eps of this show!!

Thank god there's still people that wrote fanfic for it!! I'd LOVE to see House catch it and suffer as much sneezing.

[Sophie<3]

Aww... this is good! House is still funny in this story, but less of an a**hole. I like it! Poor Wilson, though.

More please? ^^

[sapphiremint]

Thanks for all the positive feedback! Sorry it took me a while to get this up. I have trouble writing House’s dialogue since his lines are usually riddled with sarcasm. I’ve been re-watching House recently; so luckily I’ve got some inspiration. Right now I’m imagining at least 2 or 3 more parts so this might end up being a decently meaty fic. Sorry there’s not as much sneezing as I would like but I wanted to bring out the relationship between Wilson and House.

“House I don’d wand—”

“As the philosopher Jagger once said ‘You can’t always get what you want.’” House Interrupted.

Wilson threw up his hands in resignation. Taking his cup back from Chase, “Thangks, I’b glad my office can be of use to all of you, bud I really need to finidish up this paberworgk.”

The ducklings glanced at Wilson sheepishly, shuffling out the room. House closed the door after them. He turned back to see Wilson’s face scrunched up. Grabbing a bunch of tissues, he disappeared behind the desk. “Hehhetsh! Hehhetshh! Huhetchoo!”

“Bless.” House sat down on Wilson’s couch, propping up his legs on the coffee table.

“Stob bothering be House, go annoy Cuddy or somethig.”

“Not until you go home. I’ll send you some strippers so you can enjoy your time.” House replied with an exaggerated wink. Wilson shook his head; House could be so stubborn. Reaching for a file, Wilson swayed. A familiar fuzzy feeling filled his head; Wilson cocked his head in bewilderment. His eyes opened wide in realization.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. You drugged me again?” His head hovered above his desk, before it softly hit the table as he fell unconscious.

---

Wilson groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. A fort of fluffy pillows surrounded him. He walked into the living room to see House in the kitchen, cooking at the stove. He looked up, hearing Wilson enter the room.

“Why ared’t you ad worgk?”

“Making sure you don’t try and make a run for the border. Get some rest.”

“I thigk I’ve god enough rest.” He said pointedly.

“What, you didn’t give me a choice.” Wilson rolled his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but was distracted by a sudden tickle in his nose. Scrubbing at his nose vigorously, he tried to squash the tickle from his nose. Unsuccessful, he turned his head away from House, directing his face into the inside of his elbow, “Hahhktsschhoo! Hetchoo!”

“Whad are you makig.” House ladled soup into a bowl, placing it in front of Wilson, who sat down at the counter. Wilson made a face and turned up his nose. It was obvious that Wilson’s ailment had the enjoyable side effect of appetite loss.

“Eat it or I’m going to knock you out again and drag you to the hospital to be checked in.” House snapped.

Eyeing the steaming bowl suspiciously, he scooped up a small spoonful into his mouth. He moaned involuntary as the soup contents soothed his aching throat and the steam cleared his sinuses slightly. House had a natural talent for cooking and the soup did not disappoint. When Wilson had finally forced down three-fourths of the soup, House tossed the bowl into the sink, limping to the couch. As House flipped on the television to Ordinary People, Wilson gaped at him.

Sputtering, “You cad’t just leave the dishes ligke thad.” He got up, and began to stagger to the sick.

“Woah, slow down there Jimmy. I’ll take care of it later.” Wilson shot him a look.

“Ok fine, you can take care of it when you’re better. You love washing dishes anyways. I wouldn’t want to deprive you,” House snarked.

Wilson sighed, joining House on the couch. Halfway through the movie House glanced over at Wilson, who was nodding off; he could feel heat radiating from him.

Shaking Wilson awake, “We need to check your temperature.” House limped off in search of the oral thermometer. He returned in the middle of Wilson’s sneezing fit. Wilson was in a right state, hunched over with a wad of tissues covering his face

“Haaaa-isssshew!! Hitschoo! HetCHOO! Heh-tchew! Ehtshhhoo! Ketischoo! Hhahhtsshhoo!”

“Done?” Wilson nodded, taking the thermometer from House, inserting it under his tongue.

“H-House..I..I hhhaaaa…have to…” Wilson’s voice hitching, House handed him a box of tissues in understanding.

“HEhhrushh! Hehhetshh! Huhetchoo!”

“Bless,” House murmured as the thermometer beeped.

House looked at the reading, “102.5°, I’m going to get you some ibuprofen. Get into bed. No, it’s not a loaded order. I don’t sleep with sick people.”

---

House shook out the loose water droplets out of his hair, drying his face on the freshly laundered towel. He limped by Wilson’s room, but stopped when he heard a funny, muffled noise. House pressed his ear against the door, it sounded like gasping. Wilson’s congestion probably made a turn for the worst. He burst in, surprised to see Wilson sitting up on the bed, sobbing. He stared right past House, tears streaming down his face.

“Danny, I’m-I’m so sorry,” Wilson choked. “I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have.. "

“Please. For-forgive me. I did-didn’t mean to,” Wilson’s voice was ragged, his breathing labored.

“Wilson! Wilson! Snap out of it, it’s House!” House shouted, stumbling in the dark to reach his friend’s side. Pressing his hand to Wilson’s sweltering forehead, he noticed the ibuprofen must have worn off.

“Wilson, can you hear me? You’re hallucinating.” Wilson continued to ignore him, House limped back to the bathroom, grabbing the ibuprofen, oral thermometer, and a cool, damp towel. House applied the towel to Wilson’s forehead, stuck the thermometer in his mouth, and forced Wilson into lying down. Checking the thermometer he groaned, “104.6°”

“What? What did you say?” Wilson asked wearily, he seemed to have come back to his senses.

“Thank god you’re back. I couldn’t stand whiny Wilson. Your fever is disturbingly high. Here take these; here’s some water too.”

A/N: I couldn’t help but drug Wilson again. A few of my favorite episodes include Wilson falling victim to House’s deviousness. Grammar could be better but ah well.

[sapphiremint]

For anyone still reading. It's a bit shorter than the previous installments, sorry about that.

Spoilers: Slight mention of Wilson’s schizophrenic brother.

Wilson trudged into the kitchen to see House nursing a cup of coffee at the counter. He noticed House’s disheveled state, more disheveled than usual to say in the least.

“Er, rough night?” Wilson asked, pouring himself some coffee.

“Didn’t sleep well,” House responded. House turned to look at Wilson, “You were hallucinating last night. You spoke about Danny.”

Wilson inhaled sharply, big mistake; a fit of coughing replaced his words. When he finally got his breath under control, he asked cautiously, “What did I say?”

“Nothing much, just your pathological life-consuming guilt.” House paused, “So how’s the search going for ole schizo? You could talk to homie; he knows more homeless people than any of us!”

Wilson rolled his eyes and scoffed, “You don’t even care, do you? You just want to solve the puzzle. There’s more to life than games and challenges; I’m sorry to break it to you but the world doesn’t revolve around Gregory House.”

House pouted, “Couse I care, what a horrible thing to say.”

“They could build monuments to your self-centeredness.”

House got up, rubbing his throat gingerly. He grabbed his cane and began limping towards the door.

Wilson narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “Not you too.” He strode over to the door, blocking House’s way.

“It’s nothing. I slept with my mouth open.” Wilson noticed House’s voice seemed rougher than usual. Wilson’s nose twitched, he smashed his knuckle against his nose.

“N-n-no… hhiiihhh…waahhh…way..ahhh..areee..you going hehh…” Wilson dug into his pockets grabbing a tissue. He let out three harsh sneezes.

“Hehhetshh! Ehtshhhoo! Hitschoo!”

House smirked. “What did you say Jimmy? You can’t stop your sneezes, you can’t stop me.”

Wilson’s eyes fluttered, his breathing hitching, House tossed him a box of tissues knowing what would come next. “Here, get some rest.”

“Hhhhhiihhh..Hooouse..hhehh…Hahhktsschhoo! Hetchoo! Hehhetsh! Heiii-‘shoo! Hept’tshhh!”

House shoved Wilson aside with his cane, opening the door.

“Bless. Bye now.”

---

House sniffled, massaging his throat again; Wilson was right but House was not going to give his friend the satisfaction of knowing so. He could already hear Wilson reprimanding him House, I told you so. He made a face at the imaginary Wilson. Peering in the diagnostic room, he noticed only Cameron sitting at the table, reading an article.

“Since when did Foreman and Chase have invisibility powers?”

Cameron continued to read, but rolled her eyes. “I don’t know where they are.”

“Shouldn’t you at least know where Chase is? Geez, you’re turning out to be a great wife. If you want, we could call it a day to get a search party going.”

House felt an itch in his sinuses bloom; turning away he let out an explosive, “HHAHHTSSHHO!!”

Looking up, Cameron noticed the redness in House’s eyes and slumping shoulders. She got up, walking closer to examine him, “House, are you okay?”

House waved her away, “Wilson’s sick, stayed up all night making sure he didn’t try to sneak back to the hospital.”

“You don’t sound too hot yourself.”

“I’m fine, diagnostically boring. We have a patient who’s dying…Wait we do have a patient right?”

“Er, the same one we’ve had for 3 days. Are you sure you’re okay?” She noticed House was swaying a bit; reaching out she placed her hand against his forehead.

“House, you’re burning up. You need to go home. We can take care of the patient.”

“Just need some water,” House rasped, stumbling towards the sink, Cameron grabbed his elbow guiding him to a chair, when he suddenly collapsed.

[cally]

Oh yay, mutual misery!

[YouAreHawTCHEW!]

Hooooooouse! You can boss Willson around, but you don't want to go home when YOU get sick? Shame on you, despite being a genious.

Awesome story, can't wait to read more!

[Seniorstatus14]

D'awww!!! House!

[sapphiremint]

I’ve dragged it out for long enough; it’s on the shorter side as I was having trouble wrapping it up.

Part 5

House groaned. Coughing weakly, he propped his head up to see Wilson smirking at him.

“Nice of you to join me.”

“I can’t believe you dosed me.”

“I regret to inform you that I didn’t; you passed out.”

House ignored him, “What’s for lunch?”

Wilson rolled his eyes, “Must you always think about your stomach?” He walked over to the kitchen, handing House a steaming bowl, “It’s your leftover soup; I just warmed some up before you dropped by.”

Wilson sat down next to House, propping his feet up on the coffee table. He opened his mouth to say something, but snapped his mouth shut feeling the familiar itch in his sinuses.

“Bless.”

Grabbing a tissue, Wilson prepared, his breath hitching, “Hehh..he…he..Gah.”

House continued to stare ahead, “Mystery of life.”

Wilson was about to agree when it came back with vengeance, “Hehhetshh! Ehtshhhoo! Hitscho0o! Ugh.”

“How cobe you loogk and sound fide?” House smirked at Wilson’s congestion.

“Maybe, I thought that you would try to sneak out again so I faked being sick so I could watch over you. Or it could be that Cameron drugged me. Take your pick.”

Wilson sat stunned in silence. House must really be ill. Looking over at him, Wilson noticed the redness in his eyes was gone and House seemed almost cheerful. He smiled, shaking his head; House did have some human in him after all.

A/N: Still have a bunch more ideas for a sneezy Wilson, so this poor oncologist will continue to suffer until I see fit.

[YouAreHawTCHEW!]

Awwww! <3

Can't wait to read all these other ideas XD

[spirkestielgirl87]

Ooh it's been too long since I've read a good House fic! Love the House and Wilson dynamic. Great job! And more sneezy Wilson would be awesome!

[Sass]

This was really great, love the banter! I never watched house before I joined this forum. I had to watch it after all the great fanfics now it's one of my fav shows!

[GJK]

Love your writing always! Poor Wilson got drugged again 😅