"Tapestry" (Maleficent)

[Chanel_no5]

***Note***

So, I saw “Maleficent” yesterday. And I loved it. And I got inspired. This is a little ficlet with sneezing while hiding, and I guess you could say it contains minor (very minor) spoilers for the movie. You have been warned.

I own nothing but my own (dirty) imagination.

***

I had never been inside the castle before. It was vile. The air was raw and stinking of smoke from the fireplaces, unwashed bodies and waste, and dust was piling up on tapestries and armours. Why do humans want to live within walls? Why?

I accidentally touched the tapestry when I moved to hide from the guard. Not much, but oh dear, the dust was everywhere, swirling around my face, powdering it. I tried holding my breath to avoid getting it up my nose, but it was too late. It practically filled my nose, brushing at its insides, tickling horribly.

Now, for a fairy - especially one as strong as I am - I have a remarkably sensitive nose. Strong smells make me sneeze. Temperature changes make me sneeze. Dry weather makes me sneeze. Humid weather makes me sneeze. The pollen from dozens of plants makes me sneeze. At times I’m so sensitive even a light touch makes me sneeze; Diaval sometimes by accident (I hope!) brushes a wing against the bridge of my nose and even that can set me off.

I felt my nostrils flare, as my nose was building up to a sneeze against my will. Diaval noticed this and a panicked look fell upon his face. I was rather concerned myself. It’s not like it’s a light, airy exhale we’re talking about. Not from me. I scare my poor servant half to death each time I sneeze and he isn’t prepared for it.

Sometimes that’s quite fun. Not so much right now, though.

I started to raise my arms as if to shield the oncoming explosion, only to realise my robes were covered in dust. It would only make matters worse to stick my nose into the fabric. My breathing hitched and as my poor nose decided it had enough of this torture, I glanced at Diaval’s clothing. It was clean. I pulled him closer, knowing he’d understand that I was about to muffle my sneeze into his chest. Well, at least I hoped he understood that, because that was what I was about to do, and there was no time to come up with a new plan. The tickle was now a full-blown itch, burning like molten iron through my sinuses, and I pressed my face against him trying to keep the sneeze as silent as possible.

Three rapid sneezes, each more violent and throaty than the previous, unapologetically erupted from my tormented nasal passages, rocking both our bodies in unison, before I could get myself together again. In fact, the third was so overpowering I lost my magic for a split second, nearly making the boy, that was floating in the air behind us, fall to the floor. I caught him thanks to my magic returning just before he smacked his face and knocked his teeth out. Not that I cared that much about him, but I did care about Aurora, and I wanted him to actually be able to kiss her.

“Who’s there?” the guard called out.

I happily smacked his face with my staff, knocking him out, and merely walked on by. Diaval followed suit.

“Mistress… you sneezed on me”, he said, unbelieving.

“You said you’d be of service any way I needed.”

“Yeah, but as a handkerchief?” he muttered.

“Leave it, Diaval”, I sniffled. “Or I might indeed turn you into one, because I have never needed to blow my nose more desperately than I do right now.”

“Apart from that time you tripped yourself with your staff and fell face first into that field of Powder-bell flowers.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“He, he, you sneezed all day from that. You couldn’t say a single word-based spell for several days because you were so congested the words came out wrong.”

“Thank you, Diaval”, I cut him off.

“Oh, and that time when…”

“Into a bird.”

“… caw, caw, caaww…”

Reason for edit: I posted the wrong draft. Baaah! XD

Edited July 5, 2014 by Chanel_no5

[Wildwood]

...

Perfection. Brilliance. Deaded.

That is all.

[rockblock706]

This is so good! I love the way Diaval reacts when Maleficent sneezes on him! Can you continue it and make Diaval sneeze as well?

[SexyGodlikeHair]

Ha, that was amazing! Loved it! Ugh, the whole idea and basis of Maleficent's sneezing is fantastic, so good. Any chance you might include a slightly Maleficent/Aurora fic with another example of Maleficent's ridiculously sensitive nose-?

[Chanel_no5]

Diabhal: Oh dear, I didn't mean to deaded-ing you. Thank you!

rockblock: Thank you! I could picture her sneezing on him quite easily. I don't do male sneezing though, so I'm afraid I can't write it with Diaval sneezing. But check in on DiabhalÉan's fics, she writes Diaval sneezing.

SexyGodlikeHair: Thanks!! I do have a few more sneezy-Maleficent ideas floating around... nothing done yet, as I'm working on some other fics atm, but I plan on writing more on Maleficent.

[Snufaleeze]

This is really good! I would have never imagined Maleficent with allergies, good job!

[count tiszula]

Ah. there's nothing like a good bit of SwH[f]... I, too was wondering if a slight injection of Aurora might occur, but then I am always fantasizing about alternative versions of fairy stories and that needle stuff always seemed a bit feeble. I expect the original tale had her unable to resist tickling her nose with a bare bodkin and the inevitable consequences....

[Blessing Queen]

Loved it!Great work,more please!!