Jacked Up Jeep (Teen Wolf ~Stalia~

[heckyeahsneezes]

The first two parts were prewritten just so you know (and yes even the authors notes... I'm lame, I know)

~

Okay I am literally dying right now.

...and okay that was a lie.

But! Yes, you do have a butt (ok I really need to stop now)

I.saw.the.premiere.of.teen.wolf.omygodsomeoneholdme.

It was so amazing that I had to write a story :3

I hope you don't hate me because I basically only write teen wolf and obsess over it constantly...

Well if you don't want to rip my eyes out of my skull read on

It's a Stalia fic btw (I ship it so hard it's not even funny. I just ship Stiles with anyone I think he'd be happy with lol)

Jacked Up Jeep

Part 1

This was the fifth time his jeep had broken down in a matter of a week, and frankly Stiles was a little more than annoyed. And out of all days for his jeep to take a rain check, it had to be when there was a storm proceeding to take place outside.

(A/N Haha get it RAINcheck? Lololol I'm so punny.... not really, I'm sorry you all have to witness this)

Huffing in irritation, he slammed the door shut, beginning to walk down the side of the road.

Slowly a steady rain began to fall, and in a matter of minutes Stiles was soaked and shivering. Sniffling a little, he pulled his jacket tighter around himself trying to preserve as much body heat as he could. Right about now you're probably wondering why he didn't just call someone to come pick him up. Well he was in the middle of a very harsh bad luck streak where when he broke down in the middle of nowhere and he was about to call for help his phone died. He didn't know who he had wronged to get bitch slapped by Karma but he did know that he was very sorry.

"J-Just flippin' g-great-t-t," Stiles muttered, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets as his teeth began to chatter.

As Stiles trudged along he felt his fingers and toes begin to go numb and bit back a string of profanities. Why him? Was this some sort of payback for that one time he stole a candy bar at a minimart? It was just one candy bar, he even tipped the cashier the next time he went there! And he still felt guilty for over a wee-

"-Stiles?" The shock of familiar voice shook him out of his thoughts.

He looked up through wet eyelashes to see Malia staring at him with wide concerned eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked immediately advancing towards him.

Stiles nodded in response, swiping at his nose with his sleeve in case it had started running without his knowledge since he was too cold to notice if it had.

"I'm f-fine," Stiles mumbled when she had reached his side.

In all honesty he forgot she lived along this road, but that was to be expected with the state he was in. Malia reached out a hand to feel his cheek and he relished in the warmth of it until she pulled away.

"You're freezing!" She exclaimed. "Come with me, my dad isn't home yet, so it's just us."

The thought of going into the werecoyote's house alone would've brought indecent thoughts to Stiles' brain if he was functioning properly. But since he was freezing and his thoughts were fuzzy the only thing he was focused on was getting warm again. Malia opened the front door, letting Stiles into the house, and he almost moaned in pleasure at the high temperature of Malia's home.

"Hitshuu!" Before Stiles even realized his nose tickled he let out a sneeze.

"Was that a sneeze?" Malia asked raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well 'bless you' is usually customary, but yeah, a question works too I guess," Stiles deflected her question with sarcastic remark to cover up his embarrassment.

Malia wasn't deterred by his sarcasm though, and plowed on, repeating her question. "So was it?"

She didn't seem to catch on to the discomfort Stiles was displaying. But when Stiles' cheeks flushed she caught on to his embarrassment with no problem.

"Aw, it was," Malia cooed, her tone somewhat mocking.

Stiles couldn't have responded if he wanted to, because the tickle had returned and was making his sinuses burn. His eyelashes fluttered and his breath hitched once, twice and then-

"-Heh..heh-itschoo!" Stiles managed to aim it into his hand, and sniffled once before-"hih-HISH!" Again.

When he looked up, or really down since Malia was shorter than him, she didn't have an amused smirk present anymore. Malia may not be too good with the whole interacting with humans thing (not that Stiles was particularly skilled in that area either) but she did seem to have a soft spot for Stiles. She was more sympathetic with him, but maybe it was because they had connected on a much different level than just friendly banter.

"Are you okay?" She asked and Stiles could tell she was genuinely concerned now.

Sniffling a bit, he nodded. "Yeah, I'm good." It was a lie but he didn't figure Malia would pick up on it since she was just learning how to control the whole supernatural abilities thing.

"No, you're not," Malia gave him a stern look. "You can't lie to me." Then again maybe it was more than just her supernatural skills helping her detect Stiles' lies.

"Well fine. I'm not good," Stiles gave a tired sigh.

Suddenly Malia was stripping him. Stiles flinched as she started unbuttoning his plaid shirt, already having thrown off his jacket.

"Uh, Malia..." Stiles began. He grabbed her hands stopping her from unbuttoning his shirt. "I know I'm irresistible, but we can't just have sex in your living room."

Malia rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to get you out of these wet clothes, you dumbass."

"You just want to see me naked," Stiles smiled smugly.

"I've already seen it. Not impressed," Malia shot back and continued to unbutton his shirt.

"Ouch. Shot to the ego," Stiles said wincing.

As Malia peeled off his plaid shirt Stiles began shivering again. When she reached to pull off his t-shirt he stopped her again.

"I'm going to get hypothermia at this rate, the shirt and boxers stay," Stiles told her and Malia shrugged in acceptance.

She dropped lower, pulling his jeans down in one smooth, slow movement. Stiles stiffened a little, biting his lip as she ever so slowly rose back up to full height, staring him down with amusement dancing in her dark eyes.

"You did that on purpose," Stiles said under his breath.

"That's debatable," Malia murmured with a playful smirk.

She then led him to her couch, that was thankfully placed next to the fireplace. Stiles sat down and Malia snuggled up to his side, pulling a blanket over them. Stiles sniffled again, giving his curved nose that was steadily getting pinker a swipe. Malia looked up at him, and reached up to place a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose before resting her head on Stiles' shoulder with a relaxed sigh. Eventually Stiles drifted off, his head leaning on Malia's.

Edited July 3, 2014 by Carebear<3

[SneezyLaura]

Sooo cute! Can't wait for more!

Stiles and Malia are adorable! <333

[karajn]

Please continue!!! This is great!

[Dylan]

Aaaaaaawwwwwwwww Stiles ......... ;-;

This is adorable!

And absolutely hilarious XD

[souhya]

LOVE THIS.

Please continue!

[heckyeahsneezes]

Thanks for all the comments GUYSSS

Who's ready for part 2!?

Btw I'm not sure what exactly is going on with Malia's actual dad (I think they said it's Peter...?? Idk how that works) so I'm just gonna go with her dad, Mr. Tate, being that dude who put those animal traps all over the woods, so yeah...

Part 2

"Stiles! Stiles, wake up!" Stiles lifted his head as he heard Malia's panicky whisper. "My dads home!"

At first Stiles didn't realize what was so bad about that until he remembered two things. One, he was half naked with Malia on a couch. Two, he hadn't even officially met Malia's dad, and the thought of him finding them less than fully clothed on the couch together didn't exactly spell out a great 'father greets boyfriend' scene. More likely it would end up 'father shoots boyfriend in the face with shotgun and watches him bleed out on the carpet'. And in all honesty Stiles didn't even think Malia and him were dating, he knew they had SOME kind of relationship but it hadn't yet been identified.

Stiles scrambled off the couch grabbing his pants as Malia picked up his plaid shirt and shoved him in a nearby closet, throwing his shirt in after him. Stiles couldn't help but scoff at how clique this was. Boy over at girl's house without permission and has to hide so they won't get caught.

"Be quiet!" Malia hissed and Stiles quickly shut his mouth.

He listened intently as the front door opened, and in strolled Mr. Tate. He exchanged greetings with his daughter before he noticed something out of the ordinary.

"Who's coat is that?" Mr. Tate asked pointing to Stiles' jacket they had so conveniently forgot to hide.

"Uh...it's my friend's," Malia quickly made up an excuse. It being a believable excuse was yet to be discovered.

"It's a little big to be one of your friend's isn't it? You're not having boys over... are you?" Mr. Tate asked his voice suspicious and overprotective. "Because if you are..."

Life has been okay to Stiles considering the town he lived in. He had a loving father and a good group of friends who cared about him. And he even lost his virginity, which took longer than he had initially wanted, but he was glad he waited for Malia. He assumed it was pretty good for her, hopefully something to brag about when Stiles died at the hand of her father. Yeah, Stiles was ninety nine percent sure Mr. Tate was about to find out he was there, skin him alive and sell his remaining body parts on the black market, so he was going over his life accomplishments before he was murdered.

"What, are you calling my friend fat?" Malia asked and Stiles internally cheered. Maybe he wasn't going to die today.

"No? I mean no, I just-"

"-Mandy is not fat!" Malia pretended to be offended for her 'Mandy' friend.

Stiles was also pretty sure that no one named Mandy even went to their school, but whatever prevents him from getting on Mr. Tate's top ten who-I'm-going-to-kill list.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Mr. Tate exclaimed sounding flustered.

Malia rolled her eyes. Stiles was finding the whole thing pretty amusing from where he was standing, peeking through the crack in the closet door. He rubbed absentmindedly at his nose and then realized an itch was beginning to form in back of his nose. He quickly pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger, but it was too late, his breath was already starting to hitch. The best he could hope for now was to stifle the sneeze into oblivion, trying to make as little noise as possible.

Stiles' eyelashes fluttered, tears beginning to collect at the edges of his eyes. His nose twitched a few times, his brows furrowing slightly.

"Hh-hih-ICTsh!" Before he could even recover he was thrown into a second and third sneeze. "HI'TCH!-CH-!!"

Even with his fingers pinching his nose it was still a fairly loud triple. And when he opened his watering eyes he focused on the sounds outside the closet. Stiles again looked through the crack in the door in time to see Malia shooting him a look behind her father's back as she shoved him into the living room.

"Are you feeling okay, honey?" Mr. Tate asked and Stiles figured Malia had lied and said it was her sneezing.

"I'm fine," Malia said, not even fazed in the slightest about lying to her dad.

Stiles' sneezes didn't sound feminine, did they..? He'd have to ask Malia about it later. A few minutes passed in which Stiles was starting to feel more aware of things. Those things consisting of how sore his throat was feeling, how his sinuses were plugging up, and how his were nostrils itching periodically.

When Malia yanked open the closet door she found Stiles holding his fingers underneath his twitching nose as he fought against the urge overcoming him.

He failed to suppress it though, and his body pitched forwards with a desperate double. "Hih-hi'ISchh! TISHihh!"

"Bless you," Malia clipped shortly before yanking Stiles out of the closet by his arm.

(A/N okay guys it's official Stiles is gay

*calls up Derek*

"Stiles is ready to bang"

"What"

"Go to him"

"Wtf r u talking about"

"Go to your lover"

*cuts call*

At some point we should all just make a mini story together like this... I have strange thoughts ok dont judge me.

And I'm also pretty sure I'm ruining the mood of the story...)

Btw that's the end of that part lol

Edited July 6, 2014 by Carebear<3

[Dylan]

I love you right now. Seriously.

I can just imagine Stiles having feminine sounding sneezes as his little nose scrunches up just Asdfghjkl

You must definitely continue. Soon.

[karajn]

I'm looking forward to your next update! This is do perfect

[Kshu]

Aw this is great!

[Pearlised]

<3 <3 <3 thank you for this <3 <3 <3