Stupid Allergies (F, Lady Gaga)

[ValkyriePleasant]

This is a fic I wrote almost especially for NoV, and I'm honestly not sure if I like the way this turned out.

This is a one-shot, but I will have to split it in two parts as my phone has a character limit and this fic exceeds it, but without further ado, here it is:

***

"Hurry up, Gaga, you're on in five minutes!" yelled the demanding voice of Troy Carter.

"I'm coming, fuck," Lady Gaga called back, slipping her knee-high boots on and securing the straps of her leotard over her shoulders. She took a deep breath and let it out, trying to calm her nerves. Even though she'd performed hundreds of shows for sold-out crowds, she couldn't help but get butterflies every time before she went out. It never bothered her once she was out there, but the few minutes beforehand were a full-on battle between her and stage fright. Finishing with her boots, she hurried for the small set of stairs that led up onto her stage, almost colliding with her makeup artist, Tara.

"Shit, sorry! I didn't even see you," Tara yelped, taking a few steps back. Gaga laughed.

"It's fine, T. I was only rushing because shit-for-brains is on my case again," she replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Charming man, he is. Are you feeling any better than this morning? Not sneezing anymore?"

"Yeah, I told you, it was just allergies."

"I know what you told me, but you use that as an excuse almost every time you come down with something and have a concert," Tara reminded her, "it's honestly hard to know when it's actually the truth."

"Well, it was this time."

"And you took your medication before we left to come to the arena, right?" Tara asked, knowing Gaga was a scatterbrain. Gaga faltered a second, trying to think of a decent lie. She knew she hadn't, but she didn't have the time to go back to her hotel now.

"Yes, Mom," she replied sarcastically.

"Hey, you know you forget everything," Tara said, holding her hands up in pretend defeat.

"I wouldn't forget my meds before doing an outdoor concert, Tara. I don't exactly want to have a sneezing fit on stage."

"Again," Tara smirked. Gaga flicked her good-naturedly.

"Thank you for adding that in."

"Not a problem. How long until you're on?"

"Like, two minutes. Hence why Troy was going off his nut."

"You're going to do great, sweetie, I know it. You always do," Tara pulled her friend into an embrace, "there's no need to be all nervous."

"Thanks. I..." She trailed off, a glassy look in her eyes. She raised one hand to hover a few inches from her face, her breathing unsteady and hitching. Tara frowned, resting her hand on Gaga's shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"I, uhh... Ah'TSCH!" She pinched her nose firmly between her thumb and forefinger, just managing to stifle the sudden sneeze. Her cheeks flushed crimson as she felt the blast of snot against her palm, and she sniffled, glancing back up at Tara. "Excuse me," she murmured, pressing the back of her hand against her nose in an attempt to kill the still-lingering tickle before it made her sneeze again. Tara arched her eyebrows.

"Bless you," she said slowly, looking strangely at Gaga.

"Thanks, sorry about that."

"You said you took your allergy medication."

"I did," Gaga lied. "What, am I not allowed to sneeze without it being my allergies?" Tara hesitated for a few moments, still trying to gauge whether her best friend was lying to her or not, but either she'd lost her touch, or Gaga'd gotten better at cover-ups. Gaga tilted her head, hearing Troy screaming at her again. She glowered. "Look, if you want to lecture me, it'll have to wait. I have to go out; I'll see you after the show!"

"Stef, I-"

"I'm fine, Tara," Gaga said reassuringly, heading up the staircase. "I promise." Tara sighed, and nodded, giving her friend a quick hug before she ran out onto the stage.

[ValkyriePleasant]

She bounded to the middle of the stage and grinned, the nerves dissipating almost immediately. The music for her hit single Just Dance started to echo around the area, and she adjusted her microphone to just in front of her. "I've had a little bit too much, much. All of the people start to rush, start to rush by. A dizzy twister dance, can't find my drink or man. Where are my keys? I lost my phone." Gaga pulled her other microphone from the stand, pushing the one hooked up to her out of the way. She sung the beginning of the hook before feeling a strange ticklish sensation in her nostrils. Her eyes widened and she quickly pressed her forefinger under her nose.

"You okay?" called one band member, a concerned expression on his face. Gaga nodded, giving him a dismissive wave.

"Yeah, don't worry about me," she mumbled quickly. That seemed to satisfy him for the moment and he returned his attention to his instrument. Gaga let out an almost inaudible sigh of relief. Her nose was burning and she could feel the familiar beginnings of a sneeze coming on. She tried to ignore it and continue with the song, but she could feel it intensifying by the second and she knew she couldn't hold it off much longer. She suddenly cut off from singing, cupping the hand not holding the microphone to her face as her eyes flickered shut. "Hh'CHSH!" She sneezed once, stifling it into the palm of her hand as much as she possibly could. Unfortunately, it did little to alleviate the itch in her nose, and she felt another one beginning to build almost immediately after. She sawed back and forth underneath her sensitive nostrils, and it seemed to work for the time being, and the tickle faded away slightly.

She managed to stop herself from sneezing again for another five minutes or so, but by that point, she could feel the pollen particles fluttering around in her nose, and knew no matter how much she fought against it, it wouldn't be long before her body gave in. She also knew that the longer she held off, the more irritated her sinuses would be, and therefore, the severity of her allergic reaction would increase. "Stupid allergies," she muttered under her breath, giving into the ever-growing tickle and quickly sliding the microphone back into its stand. She cupped both hands over her nose, taking in a shaky, hitching breath.

"Stef?" her back-up dancer Montana asked from beside her, resting one hand on her shoulder. "Everything alright?"

"I... hheh-have to... hheh..." By this point, her breath was hitching too much to finish her sentence, and she could only manage a few words before surrendering and letting the sneezes build. Montana shifted her hand down to Gaga's back, feeling the barely-detectable shiver run up her spine as she approached the inevitable release. She took in one last helpless inhale, and spun around so she wasn't facing her fans as she let out a tiny gasp. "Huh'TSCH! TSCH! Sorry, I-I... hih... Hh'CHSH!" She stifled three sneezes in rapid succession and took a breath.

"Don't be sorry," Montana murmured quietly. "Just let it out, okay?" Gaga managed to nod, her breath already hitching again as more sneezes made their way forward. She moved her hands, waving them in front of her face in a desperate attempt to coax out the sneezes as the intensifying tickle became almost too much to bear.

"Ih'tsch! Hah'tschh! CHSHH!"

"Stop stifling," Montana scolded, knowing from past experiences that it did nothing to help relieve the allergic tickle in her friend's nose. Gaga shook her head, and Montana sighed. Gaga had always been self-conscious about her sneezes, because she had the frustrating habit of not being able to stop once she'd started, and so she'd essentially built up a mental block against letting them out full strength.

Noticing Gaga was still showing all the signs of needing to sneeze, Montana quickly reached over and pulled the microphone from the stand again. "I'm just going to take Gaga backstage for a moment and give her some allergy meds, or there's no chance in hell she's going to be able to do this concert."

"I already took my meds," Gaga mumbled, knowing lying was probably pointless. Montana returned the microphone, gripping Gaga by her shoulders and steering her towards the back of the stage.

"You are the worst liar in the world," she whispered into Gaga's ear as they approached the dressing room.

****

Aaaaand, that's it. I decided to just do a one-shot rather than a full fic, but I hope this is alright!

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

It's definitely more than alright! This was lovely, thanks!

[NoV]

This is a fic I wrote almost especially for NoV

Wow St3faniiG - thank you so much It's great - I love it when sneezefics focus on people in situations where they really, really cannot sneeze, but end up giving in to the tickle

She managed to stop herself from sneezing again for another five minutes or so, but by that point, she could feel the pollen particles fluttering around in her nose, and knew no matter how much she fought against it, it wouldn't be long before her body gave in.

I love sentences like this, when the oncoming sneeze is inevitable! Your fic has made my evening

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

I love it !

I won't beg you for more but this is really well written:)

and yeh

Not one for female sneezes really but you made it work, thanks for writting this lovely fic:)

[ValkyriePleasant]

Thanks Merc_With_A_Mouth_69 and DeathNoteOwner

NoV, yay, glad you like it I got about halfway and then was like now what to do so I wasn't sure if it was any good, haha :')

[extreme]

I loooved this, is there more??

[Wilde]

I absolutely love this! Thanks so much for writing it!