Batgirl's Sneeze

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

I've decided to start posting my first story! Set in the Batman the Animated Series, which I totally own all the characters, right? Haha, anyway, here it is, Part 1:

“Oh, come on, Bruce! I've been training with you for 6 years now. I'm not that little teenage girl who wandered into your cave for the first time anymore.” Barbara Gordon batted her big green eyes, pleading.

“The answer is still no.” Bruce Wayne's deep voice stated firmly, as he pulled his cowl down over his face. “Joker is too dangerous for you to handle by yourself right now.”

“What? You know I can handle him alone. I've done it before.” Barbara frowned, and sniffed absent-mindedly.

“Yes, and you almost died. And you're not in top condition tonight. We'll deal with him when I get back from stopping the Penguin from blowing up the Gotham Canneries. The Joker isn't currently a big threat at the moment, he hasn't done much for a few days now since the last time we stopped him.” Bruce's eye narrowed as he turned and started walking toward the Batmobile.

“Yeah, exactly, he hasn't done anything for a bit, don't you think that's a little suspicious? And who knows how long he'll stay in the location he's in? As soon as he learns that Poison Ivy gave up his location earlier today after I took her down, by myself by the way, thanks to someone who was both entangled in her weeds and in a love trance at the time, he's going to hightail it out of there. He might not even by there by the time you get back tonight. Who knows how long you'll be out, or what else might come up while... while... hold on a sec... Heh' Hup-thew! Heh-THEW! sniff* While you're still out there. I mean, who's to say by the time you've finished at the docks, there won't be a prison break, or a ninja attack. By the time you have nothing more pressing to do than go after the Joker, he'll be long gone, and we'll be back at square one.” She looked down and straightened the pleats on her grey skirt and brushed her luscious red hair out of her face. “And what do you mean, I'm not at the top of my game tonight? I feel fine.”

“You made a lot of good points, but I still don't think you should go alone. Not when you're coming down with a flu. Don't think I didn't notice the slight reddish tinge around your nostrils, or the way you keep sniffing like that, or your small shivers. And I wouldn't have to be the world's greatest detective to notice that you just sneezed. Twice. I saw the same signs on Ivy earlier today, and I saw her sneeze in your face when you were interrogating her. So just don't go alone. If you are going to sneak out while I'm gone, at least take Dick with you.” With that, the Batmobile roared to life, and sped out into the night.

“Ugh, what does he mean? I'm not sick,” She quietly said to herself, and sniffled again. “I feel perfectly great. I'm just shivering because it's cold in this cave. And I haven't been sniffling. I mean, I did just now, but that's a coincidence. And I just sneezed because it's dusty in here, that's all. I always sneeze once or twice when I'm down here. Don't I? Yeah, I think I do. Maybe. Besides, yeah, it was kinda gross when Ivy did that, but she's, like, a plant, isn't she? She can't be sick with human germs, right? No. I'm fine. I don't nee... nee- Hep-THEW! Sniff* I don't need Dick anyway.” Looking around to make sure Alfred wasn't in sight to catch her going against Bruce's orders, she quickly shed her clothes and slipped into her skintight outfit. It was still slightly damp from having washed all the grass stains from earlier out of it, and it felt really cold and wet against her skin. She felt her body shake involuntarily, and she decided if she did get sick, it would be from her clingy, clammy clothing.

She climbed onto her motorcycle and raced off into the black.

[Arty]

I love u for writing this!!!!!!!!!! More batman Mr. Deadpool! :3

[metalknight2099]

Could this be the sequel project to those who are doing Girls Night in Gotham as a kinda radio play? When it gets finished and they are done with the first I think that, you Merc, should pitch it to them.

[InLivingColor]

Awesome stuff, here. Great read

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

Who's ready for more? No? Well, too bad, here's,

Part 2:

The dark grey cobblestones in the streets of Old Gotham glistened with the mist under the pale yellow streetlamps as Batgirl made her way up the alley leading to the Joker's hideout. Having parked her bike a few blocks back to keep the noise from giving away her position, she slunk along the shadows of the dimly-lit passage. She shivered as the cold fog seemed to pierce her to the bone and the chilly air made her nose feel at least twice as sensitive. She felt her nostrils give a slight twitch under her cowl, and she quickly clutched her small cape up to her face to try and muffle the sneeze she knew was going to come. “Heh- Het-THEW! H'THEW! Haaah-THEW! Sniff*” She froze, moving nothing but her eyes as she glanced around to see if anyone was around that might have heard her. She had sneezed a lot louder and wetter than she'd intended to. “But that's just from the cold air, that's all.” she thought to herself, “I'm not getting sick.”

Satisfied that no one had heard her, she continued up the alley until she reached an unmarked door. If her intel was good, this should be the place. Quickly, yet quietly, she opened the door and went through and was met by a small landing covered in wood paneling, and a wooden staircase that descended into darkness. The air inside smelled dank and musty, and her nose, still extra sensitive from the cold, started to itch. It was just a small tickle, that wasn't growing into anything yet, but it did make her rub her nose with the palm of her hand. Her glove came away from her face glistening slightly. “Cold air always makes my nose run.” she assured herself, and started down the stairs.

Halfway down, just after she had to duck her head to get past the low clearance angle, a canister swung down and sprayed a greenish gas in her face. She recognized the smell of it instantly, made a mad grab at her utility belt for a Laughing Gas antidote pill, and swallowed it as fast as she could while she tried to wave the gas cloud away from her face. The strong scent of the gas was proving too much for her already-irritated nostrils, and she could feel the innocuous tickle from before finally start to take hold and grow. Her nostrils started to twitch, her breath began to hitch, her eyelids drooped involuntarily, and her eyebrows began to bunch up and lift.

Frantically, she sat down on the stairs, clamped one hand over her mouth, and pinched her nose as tightly as humanly possible with her other hand. She could not afford to be heard while inside the hideout. When the tickle didn't subside, she realized she must have trapped some of the gas inside her nose when she pinched it shut, and it made her feel like her nostrils were burning with electricity. She felt her lower lip start to quiver under her hand and she knew it was a losing battle, because sooner or later she'd have to break one of the seals in order to breathe. When she couldn't hold her breath any longer, she cautiously lifted her hand off her mouth, just a crack, and instantly regretted it. What she had intended on being just a short breath quickly became a massive, yet shaky, inhalation as the now-unstoppable sneeze began to build. “Haaaah...” She frantically clamped her hand back down, but it was too late. “Ngkt! Ngkt! Ngxt! Ngkt!” Not having anywhere to go, her stifled sneezes did nothing to calm the flaming tingle deep inside, only making it worse. “Ngkt! Ngxt! Mmpf! Ngkt!” She knew it wouldn't stop unless she let the irritating itch out.

She stood up and, as quietly as she could while stifling incessant sneezes, ran back up the stairs and out the door into the cold, dark, foggy night. Once outside and a significant way down the alley, she gave up trying to hold them in. “Hac-THEW! Hah-THEW! Hahd-THEW! Haht-TTTHEWhuh! Haaaht-TTTHEEEW! Hyaahc-THEWie! Haah- Haah- Haahd-TTTHEEEW! Hah-THEW! Hah-hah-TTTHEW!”

Any hope she had at having any control over her body quickly dissipated as the sneezes kept coming one after the other, flinging her body forward with each one as she stumbled around, wildly flailing her arms as she tried to steady herself on something. After what seemed to her to be about ten minutes solid, she finally slumped against the wall of the nearest building and slid down, completely winded, to try and catch her breath. It wasn't until she'd been sitting there for a few minutes that she realized she was sitting in a puddle. “Oh, great,” she said to herself, “well, that's going to be incredibly uncomfortable for the rest of... ah... hah... Het-THEW! H'THEW! Hehhht-THEW! Sniff* Oh, this is going to be a long night...”

[Arty]

Oh babs....this is why daddybats said bring Dick as backup. Poor stubborn girl. But that is the way of the bat clan.

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Oh babs....this is why daddybats said bring Dick as backup. Poor stubborn girl. But that is the way of the bat clan.

Daddybats

I like it

[Arty]

Oh babs....this is why daddybats said bring Dick as backup. Poor stubborn girl. But that is the way of the bat clan.

Daddybats

I like it

For reals tho...let someone touch or hurt one of Bruce's kids....

And he'll bust a cap in someone's

Edited May 17, 2014 by Artygirl22

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Oh babs....this is why daddybats said bring Dick as backup. Poor stubborn girl. But that is the way of the bat clan.

Daddybats

I like it

For reals tho...let someone touch or hurt one of Bruce's kids....

And he'll bust a cap in someone's

The whole "overprotective, alpha male" thing (NOT possessive and controlling) Is SUCH a turn on.

[Arty]

Oh babs....this is why daddybats said bring Dick as backup. Poor stubborn girl. But that is the way of the bat clan.

Daddybats

I like it

For reals tho...let someone touch or hurt one of Bruce's kids....

And he'll bust a cap in someone's

The whole "overprotective, alpha male" thing (NOT possessive and controlling) Is SUCH a turn on.

Yessssssssssss!!!!!

[InLivingColor]

Loving the story so far, and since this is based on B:TAS, I have a feeling Dick is already aware of the situation.

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Oh babs....this is why daddybats said bring Dick as backup. Poor stubborn girl. But that is the way of the bat clan.

Daddybats

I like it

For reals tho...let someone touch or hurt one of Bruce's kids....

And he'll bust a cap in someone's

The whole "overprotective, alpha male" thing (NOT possessive and controlling) Is SUCH a turn on.

Yessssssssssss!!!!!

I have guy friends that are in the same club at school with me, and we went to this party thing. Long story short, me and this other girl got hardcore creeped on by these guys, and our guy friends were PISSED. One of them was like "Nobody messes with our girls"

[Arty]

The whole "overprotective, alpha male" thing (NOT possessive and contro

I have guy friends that are in the same club at school with me, and we went to this party thing. Long story short, me and this other girl got hardcore creeped on by these guys, and our guy friends were PISSED. One of them was like "Nobody messes with our girls"

D'awww

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

Ok, You asked for it. Well, not really, but here it is anyway!

Part 3:

Content that the sneezing fit had subsided, and looking around to make sure no one had heard her, Batgirl propped herself up against the wall of the building she had been sitting against as she stood up. She glared down at the puddle she'd accidentally sat in, and angrily, deliberately, brushed off her backside, in a futile attempt to wring the dirty water out of her suit. The chilly night air cut at her, making her feel very cold in some very vulnerable places.

“Again with the wet outfit,” she muttered to herself, “It's like the world wants me to get sick tonight. I think my life must be conspiring against me... hee... heee... Hehhh-” Her face froze in a pre-sneeze position for a few seconds. “One more...? No? No. Nope, I'm good. See? Not sick. If I was, why would that sneeze go away?” She let out a relieved sigh; as much as she hated sneezes that got stuck and subsequently lost, it was still better in her opinion than another violent fit starting up again.

She went back inside the Joker's lair, taking care to duck as she passed the empty canister of Laughing Gas. At the bottom of the stairs, the wooden paneling formed a narrow corridor the turned sharply to the right. She followed the path until she reached a junction where three narrow, wood paneled passages split off from each other at odd angles. “Great, he built himself a very crude maze,” she thought, as she placed tiny Bat-tracers at the entrance of each hallway so she'd be able to find her way back if need be, “that's what all these wood panels are for.”

She choose the path furthest to the left and followed it to its dead end. A small TV screen sitting on top of a motion sensor flickered to life and a pale white face with bright red lips and neatly combed, green hair momentarily manifested itself in the image and smiled.

“Batsy, Batsy, Batsy...” The image of the Joker shook his head slowly, “I'm sorry, but this isn't the right hallway either. Better luck next time! If there is a next time... Tell you what, let's make things interesting; I'm going to fill the room with my special gas. And no, I don't mean that special gas. I'm, naturally, talking about the ever-popular, Joker Gas, TeeEmm and Copyright, me! Hahahahaha! Nighty-night, Bats!”

Batgirl ran back down the way she'd come, hoping it hadn't been more than an hour and her antidote pill was still active, as she could already smell the acrid scent of the putrid gas. She ran up the middle hallway, only to met by another dead end and another TV screen. “Sorry Batso, Strike Two!”

The third hall was just as useless; a third screen snapped on to reveal a giant, white chin. “Is this thing on?” The Joker's voice came out of the speakers.

“Sure is, Mistah J. The little red light says so.” A second, much higher-pitched, more feminine voice responded.

“Oh, I think I'm holding it too close.” The camera zoomed out to reveal the Joker's whole face. “Greetings, Batman! If you're seeing this, you must have gotten past my first little surprise on the stairs. Not that I'm surprised... But hey, you can't fault a man for trying. Somebody's gotta keep you on your toes. Anyway, as you've probably guessed by now, being the detective that you are, this hallway is a dead end, I'm afraid. But don't worry, 'snicker' there's still two more to try, right?” The image flickered out and Batgirl felt confused. All three of the hallways had been dead ends; what was she supposed to do now?

She ran back to the junction, and when she got there, she noticed a new hallway that hadn't been there any of the other times she'd been through the area. It looked like it led to the rest of the maze. Upon closer inspection, she saw that one of the wooden panels had slid behind the wall on a small track. As she stepped through, however, she felt the all-too-familiar buzzing tingle in her nose from the ever-present joker gas.

“Oh, naturally. Of course my nose is still being a super-sensitive jerk. ” She mumbled sarcastically to herself. “From the cold air or whatever. Since I'm not sick. I refuse to be. Evil doesn't take a sick day, so why should I? But, you know, I haven't sneezed in a good several minutes, and I couldn't possibly forget to do that...” She rolled her eyes, before narrowing them to slits and letting out an exasperated grunt at the inevitability of what was coming. She wasn't concerned with trying to stay quiet anymore. If the Joker was in the building somewhere, he'd have to know she was there, now that the TV's had all been tripped and the gas was hissing out. Really, the only thing that allowing herself to sneeze without suppressing it would change by now, would be if the Joker heard her higher-pitched, feminine sneezes, and realized it wasn't Batman that was coming for him. And that probably wouldn't really change much. In fact, he might underestimate her and maybe even let his guard down a little if he knew it wasn't the Big Bad Bat himself. Or at least, she hoped that would be the case.

Resigning herself to her fate, she brought her cape up to cover her face and begrudgingly let the onslaught of sneezes come as she ran through the maze of hallways. This fit was different from the one she'd had earlier, since this time she didn't cause the irritation to build upon itself like last time when she had been trying to keep quiet. As such, instead of a violent, rapid flurry of sneezes, they were coming in ones and twos with a standard two-second pause between them. Thankfully, the pauses allowed her time to react to the various tricks and death traps built into the maze, but her fit didn't show any sign of stopping or slowing down.

“Het-THEW! H'THEW!” She rounded a corner, leaving a tracer behind. “Hep-TTTHEW!” She made a frantic leap as the floor panel she was standing on suddenly fell away into a pool of repugnant brown liquid and made a sizzling sound. “Haht-THEEEW!” She looked up from her sneeze just in time to duck a saw blade that whizzed above her head. “Hahd-THEWhuh! Huh-Huh-Hahd-THEWuh! Oh, this is getting ridiculous! Hehhht-THEW!” Her nose was running like crazy now, and each sneeze exploded with more spray than the last one. She had given up on trying to cover after her cape had gotten too wet, and she was now just sneezing into the air right in front of her. “Seriously, how big- Heht-THEW! *sniff could this stupid building po- Hah-hah-hah-Haht-THIEW! *sniff possibly be?”

Unfortunately, between all the running, sneezing, adrenaline, and the fact the all the room's oxygen was being replaced by Laughing Gas, Batgirl noticed she was feeling very short of breath, and started to get a bit dizzy and light-headed. Suddenly, the room was spinning wildly in every direction, then it started to fade out to black and she crashed to the floor...

[Yuuki]

Amazing Can't wait to see whats going to happen to bat girl

[Arty]

Now dick save her!!!

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

I know, it's been a couple days, but here it is,

Part 4:

When Batgirl woke up, she saw a figure in a purple suit standing on the ceiling. It took her a second to realize that her ankles were tied together, her hands were tied behind her back, and she was hanging upside down from a large hook on a chain attached to the actual ceiling.

“Well, good morning, Bat-chicky!” The Joker said, smiling wide, “I have to admit, I was disappointed at first when I saw that the Bat-freak sent a little girl to do his dirty work, but I must say, you certainly delivered. What a show! Very entertaining to watch you run around, trapped like a bat in a maze, sneezing your head off. Hilarious! In fact, you've inspired me. I think I'm going to start development on a new gas formula that replaces laughing with sneezing. I don't know if it would be quite as funny as my original stuff, but it would definitely be good for a few chuckles. Especially when combined with good, old-fashioned life-or-death stakes. Speaking of which, I wouldn't have thought my maze was scary enough to make anyone wet themselves... ” He pointed up at her still-damp crotch and let out a few sinister sniggers. “And here I thought bats were supposed to be more hygienic than that.”

Barbara didn't say anything; she didn't really want to admit to having accidentally sat in a puddle in the alley, since it wouldn't have been any less embarrassing than actually having wet herself. She also suddenly realized how upset her stomach felt. She hadn't made much note of it before; she had assumed it was just mission jitters from the thought of going up against the Joker alone, but now that she was upside down, her condition felt exacerbated and it definitely felt like something else now. There was now way to deny it anymore. She was sick.

“Ok, fide, I adbit it, I'b sick! Happy dow?” she accidentally said out loud, finally conceding that Bruce had been right. Not being able to run out, since her upside down nostrils acted as a little pair of cups, her mucus had collected and filled her sinuses.

“What are you talking about?” The Joker started to ask, but he was quickly cut off by Batgirl's quick gasp for breath. As if on cue, her body was responding to her admonition of being sick by releasing three incredibly wet sneezes in rapid succesion.

“Heh-TTTHEW! Heht-TTTTTHEEW! Hehhhttt-TTTTTHIEEEWuh!” The force of the sneezes caused her to swing back and forth on the chain. The Joker recoiled and threw his arms up in front of his face.

“Eeeewwww! Bat-germs!” A disgusted look came across his face, “How do I know you don't have rabies? Har-ley!” He turned around and shouted toward the back of the room.

“Yes, Puddin'?” Harley Quinn's voice came from an adjoining room.

“Pooh, would you be a dear and bring me a sanitary napkin to clean the crime-fighter grime from my face? Thanks.”

“Straight away, Mistah J!” Harley paused for a moment. “Wait, you mean a disposable alcohol wipe, don'tcha?”

“Yes, of course. What did I say? Oh, never mind, just bring it.” He turned to face his inverted captive again, thrusting a purple gloved finger in her face. “And you... As entertaining as it was to watch you pathetically sneeze your way past all my death traps, it would be great if you'd be so kind as to KEEP YOUR MUCUS TO YOURSELF! It's been bad enough with Harley being sick the past couple of days. The poor girl's going to be the death of me.” At that moment, Harley entered the room. She stopped after a few steps and a funny look spread across her face.

“Aaahhhh-TCHEEEAH!” Harley's body doubled over as she sneezed, uncovered, all over the floor in front of her. She giggled. “Yay, that's 63 today! A new record!” She handed the Joker the wipes he'd asked for, and walked over to where Batgirl hung while he cleaned off his face. “So I hear you're sick too. I betcha got it from Poison Ivy when she was telling you the directions to our little trap here.” Harley giggled again, and leaned in really close to whisper in Batgirl's ear. “Guess where she got it from...” She licked Batgirl's cheek, causing Barbara to squirm uncomfortably, then she winked and did a double back-handspring away from the captive crusader. She instantly regretted that last action, however, and clutched at her belly. “Ooh, that's was a bad idea...” She sat down in a nearby chair, continuing to hold her midsection. “I love all the sneezin', but this bit I could do without... Aaahhh-TCHEEAH!” She smiled again, “That's more like it.”

She really did love sneezing. She wasn't sure why, and having been a psychiatrist, she had used her training to delve into her own mind to find a reason. She came up with no good reason for feeling that way, but she just knew she liked the way it made her feel when she did it. And, she also liked watching other people do it. As such, she loved to pass on whatever she had every time she got sick. She loved how dirty and naughty it made her feel to know that she was deliberately infecting someone. She giggled as she thought back on when she gave it to Poison Ivy.

[Arty]

Oh DAYUM!!!!!!!! Harley!!!!!

[InLivingColor]

Didn't see that coming, so awesome!

[Likesn]

I like this. Some Poison Ivy sneezes will be great as well, but good story anyway

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

Ready or not, here's,

Part 5:

The previous night: Harley Quinn was lying on her side on a giant leaf that was stretched across a soft pile of ferns at Poison Ivy's botanical hideout.

“Aaahhh-TCHEEEAAAH! Ya kdow, whed Bistah J asked be ta getcha od board with luring the Bat idto his trap, I dohd't thigk this is exactly what he beadt... Heehee” Harley giggled, then sneezed again into the bodice of Ivy's outfit, causing the small leaves to rustle.

“No, probably not.” Ivy's sultry voice admitted. She smiled, “But when you showed up here, looking and sounding as awful as you do, I couldn't just let you leave. I just had to try and help you feel better...” She leaned down to caress Harley's cheek and kissed her on her little button nose.

“Ya shouldd't do that; you'll... Aaahhh-TCHEEEAAAH! You'll get sick, add you'll hate be for givig it to ya.” Harley secretly hoped that would happen, but she looked up at Ivy and gave a sad look with soft, puppy dog eyes that, normally a bright and vibrant blue, now looked pale and washed out.

“Oh, who cares about that? It doesn't matter to me if I get sick, I just want to make sure you're alright.” Ivy walked out of the room and returned with a mug of hot water. “At least let me make you some tea.” A small plant sprung up beside Ivy's feet, and she grabbed a few leaves off of it to put in the mug. She sat on the bed at Harley's feet, and handed the concoction to the poor, sick, contagious criminal, who sat up, took a sip, and before she could swallow, promptly sneezed it all over Ivy's chest.

“Oopsie! I'b sorry. I didd't hurtcha, did I?” Harley sniffed as she felt her nose start to run from the change in position.

“No, it's ok, Harl, it wasn't too hot. Boy, you got it bad, don't you?” She grabbed a big, soft maple leaf, and rubbed broken off bit of a nearby aloe plant all over it, giving it to Harley. “Here. Blow.”

“Thagks, Red.” Harley took it and blew, but the vibrations of that action caused her nose to start to tickle again. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth, allowing a shuddering breath to be drawn in. “Hah-TCHAH! Haaahh-TCHEEAAH! Aahh... Aaaahhhh... Haaaahhhhh... TCHEEEAAAH!” her body gave an involuntary shiver as Harley sniffed and blew her nose again. “Wow, I dodd't thigk I've ever sdeezed bore thad odce at a tibe before...”

“Oh, I'm so sorry, Harley-pie, you poor thing.” Ivy handed her another leafy tissue. “I know just how you feel. Every time I sneeze, they come out in large groups, and it can be annoying and hard to catch your breath afterwards.”

“Doh, doh, actually, it felt kidda good, ya kdow? Sorta like... Aaahhh-TCHEEAAH! Deverbide. Forget about it.” She laid back down and sighed. “Addyway, I guess I should probably get goid'. Bistah J's probably woderid' where I ab.”

“Well, I say tough nuggets for him. You're not going anywhere. You're gonna stay the night here so I can fix you up if I need to.” She put her hand on Harley's shoulder. “Now get some rest. I'll see you in the morning.” She smiled and planted a small kiss on Harley's forehead.

The next morning, Harley woke up feeling a whole lot better. Her nose was still tingly and sensitive, but it wasn't still stuffed up, plus her headache was gone, her stomach felt a lot more settled, and she felt she had at least twice the energy she'd had the previous day. She sat up and stretched, breathing in the fresh floral scent all around her. The smell of the flowers caused her to sneeze once. She grinned.

“Hey Red?” There was no response. “Ivy? Pam, where are ya?” Harley heard a small moan come from across the room, and went to see what it was. Ivy was lying on another bed of shrubbery. Her reddish nostrils stood out as a stark contrast to her green skin, which was somehow both paler and a darker shade than normal. She groaned painfully as she slowly opened one eye and then the other.

“I... Dohd't... Feel so good... H'TSSSSSCHOO! Hih-TSSSCHOOO! TSSSCHOOO! Hiht-TSSSSCHOOOO! Hih-... Hihc-TSSSCHIIOOO!” Pamela's eyes burned as she looked up at Harley. “You.. You did this to be... Hih-TSSCHOO! Hih-TSSSHHHOOO! Hiiih... Hiiih-hiiih-TSSSSCHOOO! Hi'TSSSCHOOO! Hih-ITSSSCCHOOO! Dow I cad't eved sbell by babies...” Her lip quivered as she pulled a pair of large, pink tulips up to her face and tried to sniff them, only getting a gurgling sound from her nose.

“I'm really sorry. I tried ta warn ya, didn't I?” Harley tried to sound as sympathetic as she could, but deep inside, she was intrigued by how fast Ivy had caught it, and something about the green girl's sneezing was making Harley become very aware of how tight her outfit hugged her in various places. “Well, whatever ya did for me definitely seemed ta help, so I'm gonna try and return the favour. I can't grow my own tea, or hand-make aloe infused tissues, but I'll do whatever I can ta help ya feel bettah, ok? Especially since Batman is probably gonna be coming here later ta get Mistah J's address. So let's see what I can do ta help.” She gently stroked Ivy's gorgeous red hair, secretly thinking “This is gonna be a fun day...”

[Arty]

You know...i actually find the harleyxPam pairing really sweet and cute.

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

Well, you've all made it. Here goes!

Part 6:

Back at the Joker's lair, Harley Quinn was snapped out of her fuzzy warm memories of early that morning by the sound of Batgirl sneezing wildly. Just like Ivy's had, Batgirl's symptoms were coming on very rapidly; even though she'd only been infected less than 12 hours ago, Batgirl had, by now, descended full-swing into diseased state. Now, even though there wasn't any chill air sensitizing her nose or strange gases irritating her nostrils, Batgirl's sneezes kept coming at a solid, steady pace.

“Heht-THEW! Heh-THEW! Hup-THEW!” With each sneeze, Barbara swung back and forth on her chain, making her feel incredibly dizzy, making her head hurt, and making her stomach feel more and more twisty.

Harley sat mesmerized by the sight. It was a strangely wonderful feeling, being able to enjoy watching someone in the throes of uncontrollable full-body explosions like the ones Batgirl couldn't possibly hold back any more, without the experience being complicated by feeling sorry for the victim. When she had been with Ivy and watched her succumb to her sickness, although Harley had thoroughly enjoyed watching it, she also felt bad that her friend didn't feel well, and she also almost felt bad for enjoying her friend's pain. But with the Bat-bimbo here, she could feel however she wanted and she didn't mind enjoying it, since she couldn't care one bit how the crime-fighter felt. It made for an exhilarating experience. Harley could feel a tingle run up through her body and concentrate itself in the tip of her nose, which quivered at the sensation.

“Aaahhh-TCHEEEAAAH!” her sneeze was timed perfectly in sync with one of Batgirl's, and the sound of sneezing in stereo made Harley laugh.

“Eeeww, don't laugh at that! It's not funny.” The Joker's voice made Harley turn and notice he had just come back in the room. “I'll show you something funny...” He took a banana cream pie and smashed it into her face, laughing hysterically. “HA-hahahaha! Sneeze through that, I dare you.”

The pie tin and much of the crust fell off of Batgirl's face and she did just what he said.

“Heh-TTTHEEW!” Banana cream flew everywhere, most of it ending up on the Joker's purple pants.

“Ooh, I give up! You're no fun anymore.” The Joker fumed. “I'm getting bored with you. ...Or at least with keeping you alive... Harley! Where's my favourite gun? I know I left it around here somewhere... Oh well, this one will have to do.” He spun back around to aim the handgun at Batgirl's forehead, but Batgirl's forehead wasn't there. In fact, none of her was there. The whole time she had looked like she was helplessly swinging back and forth, sneezing like crazy, she had actually been cutting through the rope around her wrists with a small knife that had been hidden in her glove. When the Joker had turned around to find a gun, Barbara had taken that opportunity to swing up and undo her feet. She was now hiding behind a large stack of crates, pinching her nose like her life depended on it, which it probably did. She didn't know how long she could hold back the sneezes that threatened to explode from her at any moment, and she knew she wouldn't be able to hide for very long. She would have to make her move soon.

When her chest started to heave up and down inside her tight outfit, she knew it was now or never. She quickly climbed to the top of the stack of crates and dived at the Joker's head, trying to pin him down. He heard her jump and spun around, throwing his hands up in a defensive position.

“Heht-TTTHEW!” Just as she left the stack, Batgirl sneezed again, violently, and noticed the Joker drop his guard to block his face from the contaminating spray. In that moment, Batgirl hit him hard and tackled him to the ground, trying to pull his hands behind his back to slap a pair of Bat-cuffs on him.

“Heh-THEW! Hehhh-THEW! Hehh-THEEEEW!”

As they wrestled back and forth across the floor, the Joker called out to Harley for help. The painted perpetrator tried to help, but she was transfixed by the entrancing sight of Batgirl's contorting body sneezing uncontrollably, and she couldn't make her own body move an inch.

“H'THEW! H'TTTHEW! H'TTTHEEW!”

The caped crusader managed to apprehend the Joker and turned her attention to his little lackey lady, who was still unable to take her gaze from Batgirl's reddish nose or the explosions coming out of it until it was too late. Batgirl tackled Harley to the ground, sneezing another few times as she did, and Harley could feel Batgirl's convulsing chest against her own. Harley was too distracted to fight back as Batgirl clipped her other pair of Bat-cuffs on her.

“HAHT-TTTHEEEW!” Barbara sneezed one last giant eruption as she stood up, feeling very proud of herself for having won even though she was weighed down by being sick.

Suddenly, the window to her left exploded and Nightwing dove in, rolled, and stood up in a fighting stance. He looked around for any danger, then stared at Barbara.

“Batman sent me here. He said you'd need help. Did you...?” He gestured at the two criminals on the floor.

“I sure did,” She nodded, “I'b a strog, iddepeddedt wobad, who dod't deed doh... Heht-TTHEW! Heh-THEW! ...well, who bight deed a tissue...” The floor started to spin again, and she collapsed into Dick's waiting arms.

“Come on, let's get you home.”

The End. For now...

I hope you all enjoyed it!

[Arty]

MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! NIGHTWING!!!!! OH...

UH....

Great fic mr. Deadpool!

[Yuuki]

So not Dick taking care of her? *O*