Never Go Hunting with Strawberries (SenBeret birthdayfic, SPN)

[SexualOddity]

I'm late with this, because I'm shamefully slow. But Happy Belated Birthday SenBeret, and hope this fic works for you, from SenBeret's prompt. Shared at the end. (Really need to learn how to use the spoiler tag thingy so I can share these prompts at the start!)

--

“Have I told you that I think this is a stupid case?”

Sam sighs. “Yep.”

“I could get someone else to cover it. Easy as a phone call.”

“You could. But we’re right here Dean. And there’s no reason to pass it over.”

“You know I could just turn around right now, and refuse to let you behind the wheel?”

“I know.” Sam wrinkles the corners of the newspaper with his bad hand, trying to ease the stiffness in his fingers. “But one kid dead and two more disappearances tell me that you won’t.”

Dean scowls, but he keeps on driving.

“I think it’s the second right, up ahead.”

Dean says nothing.

“Look, I can be there, okay. We’re just interviewing the farm workers. It’s not like I’m gonna have to eat anything.”

“You didn’t eat the shampoo,” Dean retorts. “But your hives still haven’t gone down.”

Sam resists the urge to scratch self-consciously at his neck. “Well, that’s what we get from staying at the kind of place where you get more than bleach and chemicals in the complimentary toiletries. Or where you get complimentary toiletries at all...” He settles for rubbing the skin roughly against his cast. “Besides, those were ninja strawberries. I didn’t know what I was doing. This time I’m all prepared.”`

“I don’t like it Sammy, that’s all I’m saying.”

Sam rolls his eyes, and tries not to prickle at the pet name. With one thing or another, Dean’s been on edge about hunting pretty much since they lost their Dad. Whatever. Dean just has to deal with it however the hell he has to deal with it. Mostly, Sam’s trying not to rock the boat.

It makes sense to pick up this job, though. It’s hallmark vengeful spirit material and it’s on their damn doorstep. ‘Pick your own fruit’ farm, big tourist attraction and holiday resort, famed for its ripe and juicy strawberries, shortly coming into season (yes thank you Dean, I did notice that bit) but in the past week two separate families visiting the farm’s few guest rooms have suffered some sort of misfortune in the night.

A little research into the farm itself gives a pretty likely history. Rich couple once owned the land, had a bunch of kids but none of the girls made it past early infancy. It’s got mileage at the very least. And hell, it’ll probably do Dean some good to let go a little and realise that Sam can look after himself.

They pull up in a gravel parking lot next to a converted barn and fields upon fields of crops, flooded with families in brightly-coloured clothing, walking and chattering and filling their baskets.

“Nice place,” Sam comments.

Dean only grunts.

Shutting up the Impala door, Sam grimaces and pinches at the bridge of his nose.

“HHHhh...HHuH...AaAhtTCHEH!”

Dean is staring him when he blinks his vision clear.

“What? What? Dean... it’s not even that type of allergy.”

Dean just turns on his heel and strides in to the office building.

“Are you kidding me?” Sam trails after him, rubbing the side of his nose. “I just had to sneeze.”

**

They’re greeted by one of the owners, who shakes their hands and checks their badges and offers them coffees.

“I’ve just made a nice strawberry pie if you’d like some, Agents? Fruit was freshly picked this morning.”

Dean stiffens instantly.

“He will,” Sam jumps in. “I’m allergic.”

“Oh I’m sorry.” She fishes in the kitchen drawer for a knife. “Can I get you something else? We’ve got...”

But Sam waves the offer away, insisting that the coffee is more than enough. “If you don’t mind though, we want to ask you a few questions about things you might have noticed on the nights of the incidents...”

**

Sam hasn’t even finished cleaning himself up before Dean is pacing outside the bathroom.

“What the hell man?”

Sam groans. He’d had a feeling that this was going to become more than it ought to.

“Since when do you start sneezing right in the middle of an interview?”

Sam wipes his eyes and flushes the toilet, pocketing what’s left of the tissue paper as a precaution.

“I don’t know.” He brushes his hair from his face with the back of his arm and presses some tissue against his nose as he emerges. “I guess I’m getting a cold or something. It’s not a big deal.”

“Maybe we should just get out of here.”

“Did you even finish talking to her?”

Dean scratches at the back of his head. “Well yeah, I did actually. Turns out the kids were buried in a private graveyard on the site of the farm.”

Sam frowns. If the case is as cut and dried as it’s sounding like, Dean’s tone ought to be happer.

“Only way to it is through the strawberry field.” Dean claps his brother on the shoulder. “Looks like you’re sitting this one out.”

Sam chooses to pretend he didn’t just see a glimmer of relief behind his brother’s eyes.

“Three spirits Dean. And you’re go-huh!” Sam turns away, rolling his eyes in frustration, pressing the back of his wrist to his nose. “HUH’IHSHew! Ah... HaHTiSHHshyew!”

“You’re allergic.” Dean retorts, like it puts an end to the conversation. “And you’re getting sick. You can wait in the car.” He’s already striding out into the parking lot.

Sam follows behind, holding out his long sleeves as his defence. “I’m wearing a jacket. I can put on a pair of gloves. I’ll be fine. AhTchIH! Ugh.” He sniffs thickly, “and even if I touch some strawberries, which I won’t, what am I gonna get? A rash? You want to take on three spirits and dig up bodies at the same time!”

“You think I can’t handle it?”

“I think...” Sam begins, but he’s stopped short when a family emerge from the fields, laughing and talking with baskets full of fruit. He leans against the impala and tries not to look as awkward as he feels until they pull off in their car. “I think you shouldn’t have to. I just... I don’t know what’s with you lately.”

Dean looks up at this, and straightens from where he had been bent over the trunk of the car. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m John Winchester’s son, I’m twenty-three. I can back you up with a couple of ghosts. Hell, Dean, you taught me how to pack a shotgun when I was eight years old. You act like I can’t manage simple hunt.”

The trunks shuts with a thump.

“A simple hunt would be pretty fucking amazing right now Sammy. These days, we don’t get simple hunts. We get zombie girls that break your arm, we get psychic death visions, evil demon blood viruses...”

We get Yellow Eyes and whatever’s gonna make you have to kill me.

Dean doesn’t say that bit.

“You wanna go a few rounds with something we can stab? Fine, you got it. I’m all for it. What I’m sick of is fucking demons and monsters, messing with you, wheedling away at your weaknesses. I’m sick of you in the Goddamn firing line.”

“Me too,” Sam answers, softly, and Dean seems to relax a little at that. “It’s not exactly a picnic for me either. But this isn’t the demon. This is some two bit ghosts and a strawberry patch.”

They stand in silence for a moment, until Sam’s nose starts to twitch. He curses and turns away, rubbing in circles at the tip as his breathing starts to shorten. “Hih..hhuh...CHuSHSHshuew! AhUSHHhh! USHH! HehUHtsCHSHYEW! USshcHHAH!”

“Bless you. Here.” He reaches into his pocket to pull out a bandana. “Let’s get this wrapped up. You sound like you need OJ and an early night.”

**

It a ten minute walk across the farm to the graveyard. They make it through six before Sam is all but useless.

“Uhh..HuHUHttTCHYEW! HTttchhTCHYEW! HhhHTCH’TCHYEW!” He clutches the bandana against his face, using his bad arm to brush aside the low hanging branches of a plum tree, panting. “Ahh...AHTSHCHYEW! HuhASCHSHYEW!”

“God, Sammy!”

“Whhh...What?”

“You’re sneezing a fucking ton.”

“Oh. Y-yeah. I... Ehh HurHAHSSHHuhuh! I had ndoticed that onde mbyself.”

“You don’t think...”

“EHHHSHtCHYEW!” He groans. “I dond’t thindk what?”

“Just... all the strawberries and stuff.”

Sam stops for a second, swaying and bundling the bandana at the underside of his nose as it streams, his off-hand pressing and squeezing at his nostrils the bridge, anywhere he can press back at the burgeoning itch. He breathes slowly, deliberately, trying to wrest back a modicum of control. “I told you Deand,” he wheezes, “I dond’t have those kindd of allergies.”

“Are you sure? Because... Oh.”

Sam looks up when he feels Dean come to a stop beside him. Tears have collected in a film over his eyes, but when he tries to wipe them against his sleeve, they’re thick and itchy and resistant. He open his mouth to answer only for his lips to part further as his lungs swell with an unintended glug of breath “HEHTSHHSH’SHYEW!” He sneezes openly, explosively, at the ground, and follows up with a whole round of others, one after another and before he can catch his breath. “HhhHH’HEHSHHISHH’SHYEW! EHshhhSHYEW! HET’TCHSYYew! HehTSHHSHUH! HEH’TuSHHSH’AHH!

“I’m pretty sure those are strawberry plants. Pollinating”

“HepHECTSHHSHyew! AHHUSHHH’SHEYW! Hhhh... hhhh... ehhh... hhh... Whhh... What?”

“Pretty sure you just started having ‘those kind of allergies’ Sammy. I think you’re headed back to the car.”

--

Sam’s whole head is heavy when he hears Dean’s footsteps. They’re just sounds. Like he can’t quite tie them down to anything. He looks up, searching for the feet that belong with them, but the sludge and the thickness between his ears just gloops from side to side and makes the world spin.

“Sam?”

This time can make out Dean’s figure in front of him, black and solid. Light reflects from the charm around his neck and makes Sam’s eyes want to shut in protest.

“HeSHCHHHUSHSHYEW!”

“You realise you’re hanging halfway out of the Impala?”

“Indeededsombefreshair.” His words come out thickly as well, swelling on his tongue and snagging on his teeth.

“That’s great Sammy. ‘cept it’s the air that you’re allergic to.”

Sam’s legs are hoisted into the air, and he grips the side of the seat as everything lurches. There’s a metallic slam that he only recognises afterwards as the closing of the car door. It jars, sets his teeth on edge.

He hears Dean settle into the seat next to him and then nothing. Just breathing.

In... out... in... out.

“Sam. How much Benadryl have you taken?”

“Hmndm?” Sam tries to hum a query, but the sound gets stuck up in his nose on the way out.

“I said a capful.”

“Icouldndtstobpsndeezindg.”

“What?”

Sam can feel Dean’s heat as he leans in closer. His lungs fill.

“HeeehhAhtTASHShhhSHEYW! Ah’TCHEH!”

“Oh gross Sammy, come on!”

Dean curses, and there’s the ignition click and the engine rumble. And then they’re bouncing. Soft little Impala bouncing. This is good. Rumble, rumble. He leans back into his seat and sighs.

He can feel sleep begin to pull at him, his eyelids settling like old draw-down blinds that... won’t ... quite... close. He summons his consciousness for one final minute, remembering something he’d needed to say.

“You dond’t have to worry about mbe you kndow?”

“No, I know, you just need some sleep and you’ll be...”

“I’bm ndot evil.”

“Wait... what?”

“You can go hundting with mbe because...” Sam thinks hard. He’s already falling asleep, he thinks, piece by piece, and his lips have to do aerobics just to form the words. “Because I’mb ndot evil.” He sits up then, much as his body resists, and actually looks at Dean, because this is important. He remembers that this is important.

Dean doesn’t say anything at first. Sam wonders whether his ears have slowed down as well as his eyes.

“No, you’re not...” Sam feels Dean’s hand on his knee when he hears him at last. “I know you’re not buddy.”

“But strawberries are evil.” Sam tells him, seriously. “You should ndever go hundtindg with strawberries.”

--

Prompt:

I've always had this weird headcanon -- and I don't even know where it came from -- that Sam is a little bit allergic to strawberries. Not so much respiratory-allergic, more like itchy-with-maybe-a-mild-rash-allergic, as it is with most food allergies. But he's never been in the middle of a field of strawberry plants with all of their pollen-producing flowers on a windy day (until now).

[Sawyer]

i debated whether to talk about this on LJ or here, but i guess more people will see it here and i want everyone to know how much i appreciate this!! because i'm SO INTO IT.

i won't lie, when i saw this i decided to go and run an errand first because i was so excited and totally needed to calm down. (i smiled the entire time!! you totally didn't have to do this! i know that i keep telling you how much The Best you are, but seriously, you're the best. i haven't stopped thinking about this prompt since i first wrote it!)

okay, first of all, "ninja strawberries"! how cute. and sam already having an allergic reaction before they actually go on the case… and dean being so protective about it, of course! i love that always. AND you set it during season two! my favorite! i want to say "how did you know?!" but i have a feeling that you definitely ACTUALLY knew. which is so sweet and special.

ooooh! and dean already being so suspicious and resenting the case even more after sam just sneezed ONCE. and sam being so frustrated and exasperated about it (the "what" thing is SO him and i could hear his voice sooo clearly, oh my god. your dialogue was, always, so particular and amazing). i like how he's irritated and confused by all of the sneezing but he doesn't comment on it TOO much, like he just keeps letting it happen even though it's not something he's very used to... ahh the the thought of him sneezing so much through the interview that he has to take a break! wowwww. plus, like, the whole thing with dean being super reactive and cautious and protective about something that has to do with sam, even though sam's, like, soo casual and risky about it!! it happens all the time and i cannot get enough.

something about sam just saying "i'm allergic". mmmm. actual contented sighing from me. just all of the allergy talk in general, actually!! and the way sam is so confused about it all, thinking he's getting a cold (so hot to think of him thinking about that, and of course i love the whole mistaking allergies and colds for one another, aww)! and i love how they differentiate between the different types of allergies, and how it was dean (not sam!) who figured out why he was actually sneezing so much. i like the novelty of it, too, how he didn't react to allergens in that way before now and how it took them so long to realize it. plus the idea of sam sneezing a lot when he normally doesn't? it feels close to canon, i guess, and that makes it really really nice to think about.

and!!!! i love all of the season two references and talk about whether or not sam is evil, and the stuff their dad said to them... and aww, all of the references to sam and his cast!!! for real, i've started rewatching the series in order and i'm JUST at that part (right after playthings or somewhere around there) so it fits in perfectly for me specifically! seriously, how did you know? it's like i'm going in order and this is just an extra part of the series... you really couldn't have posted it on a better day!!! what timing!

oh my god! and sam high on antihistamines! my fav! the way he's talking all slurred and soooo stuffed up, and his head's all fuzzy and slow but it doesn't stop him from trying to Talk Things Out with dean! so typical! i love your descriptions of how he feels on the medicine too... very vivid and creative and reinforcing that whole novelty idea, which i love. plus that last line, with sam being so serious about something so silly! juuuust like when he was drunk, awww!!!

i'm sure there's so so so much more stuff that i want to comment on and gush over (i've already read it three times!) buuuut i am just going to sit here and read it over and over again and say THANK YOU!!!! for being so incredible always and for giving me the coolest and most lovely gift i've ever seen!

edit: oh my god, i posted it and saw what this post looked like outside of the little text box and it is looooong. sorry for writing so much!! i condensed it as much as i could!

Edited April 9, 2014 by Sen Beret

[beatlelover22]

Ahhhhh this was amazing! You write so in-character, it's great. I'm in love with the chemistry between the brothers and you captured it perfectly. I especially loved this quote.

“Uhh..HuHUHttTCHYEW! HTttchhTCHYEW! HhhHTCH’TCHYEW!” He clutches the bandana against his face, using his bad arm to brush aside the low hanging branches of a plum tree, panting. “Ahh...AHTSHCHYEW! HuhASCHSHYEW!”

“God, Sammy!”

“Whhh...What?”

“You’re sneezing a fucking ton.”

Fantastic, thanks!

[AngelEyes]

This is all so very much wonderfulness! Just everything!

I especially laughed at this line! High!Sammy

Dean curses, and there’s the ignition click and the engine rumble. And then they’re bouncing. Soft little Impala bouncing. This is good. Rumble, rumble. He leans back into his seat and sighs.

[Skyler]

“Sam?”

This time can make out Dean’s figure in front of him, black and solid. Light reflects from the charm around his neck and makes Sam’s eyes want to shut in protest.

“HeSHCHHHUSHSHYEW!”

“You realise you’re hanging halfway out of the Impala?”

“Indeededsombefreshair.” His words come out thickly as well, swelling on his tongue and snagging on his teeth.

“That’s great Sammy. ‘cept it’s the air that you’re allergic to.”

This was my fave part, it made me laugh Great story

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

“But strawberries are evil.” Sam tells him, seriously. “You should ndever go hundtindg with strawberries.”

Omg this made me laugh so much! I thought I was gonna die from lack of oxygen

[RiversD]

So good! You, ma'am, are a gift to mankind. Well, forumkind.

[HPG]

Haha! I'm allergic to strawberries, so this made my day!